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Feel ‘devastated’ that Lady Gaga was ‘unmasked.’


Feeling sad now that I know ‘The Real Lady GaGa.’ I used to consider her to be one of the most authentic artists in the pop culture landscape since Kanye West, but now it’s like I won’t be able to look at her the same ever again. Like I found out a secret that ruined the essence of life. Has this ever happened 2 yall [via Santa Claus / Tooth Fairy / Easter Bro / Jesus]?

Can’t believe I have seen ‘the real lady gaga’ and I am feeling more emotions than just a snarky blogger ‘calling her ugly.’ Legitimately feel vulnerable right now, like the time my parents sat my family down and told us that they were getting divorced. Feel like ‘my whole fucking world has changed.’

I think I used to like her so much cuz of her sex appeal. When I saw her, I thought about ‘making love’ to her in some sort of artistic/conceptual way. But now it seems like she just wants ‘mainstream bro cock’ like most girls.

Feel sad when alternative girls end up dating mainstream bros, and then u discover that their pursuit of art/altdom/other sillie ideals were just a gimmick to cope with ‘not being able to attract a mainstream bro.’ Feel like deep down, girls with alternative boyfriends ‘feel like they are settling’ some how.

Feel like maybe deep down we’re all the same. Maybe that’s what we’re supposed to learn from Lady Gaga.

We all want to express ourselves’.
We all want to be ‘famous’ but sort of ‘transcend’ fame, and let the world know that we ‘get’ life even though s0 many ppl know who we are.
We all want a mainstream significant other who is ‘desired by many ppl.’
We all just want to go to a beach, get followed by paparazzi, and feel ‘famous.’
We all want our penis head/clitoris to get ‘insanely aroused.’
We all want to find a way to make mainstream = alt, and appeal 2 a mass audience.

Wonder what it’s like to be a bro who ‘knew some1 famous’ when u thought they were just ‘retarded’ and were going to ‘get crushed’ by the real world. Don’t know how I would feel if some1 in my life ‘made it’ and was ’successful’ in a way that made them famous/successful/relevant/insanely rich. Feel more comfortable knowing that we all ‘have to live a shitty life’ and feeling like no1 who has appeared in my life has found any kind of happiness, nor are they capable of being ‘more self-aware’ than me.

In a way, we’re all kinda ‘wearing a mask.’ In a way, we all sorta want 2 construct a version of ourselves’ who people like, but we also want a ‘chill version of ourselves’, reserved only for truly authentically chill bros. Maybe that’s what the Lady Gaga Jersey broad is doing. Wonder if that bro knows ‘the real gaga.’ Wonder if he gets vulnerable with her or something then ’slides it in’ and she is attached 2 him 4evr. Feel jealous.

Who is the real U?

Previous Lady Gaga Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/05/hipster-runoffs-burning-questions-is-lady-gaga-fucking-retarded-srsly-is-there-something-mentally-wrong-with-lady-gaga.html

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33 Comments

  1. anon
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 12:37 pm | Permalink

    Second

    Reply

  2. G-Lox
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    feist

    Reply

  3. klaus
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 12:48 pm | Permalink

    lady gag is spent. should try some coke to fix her hangover eyes

    Reply

  4. AAAhHHHHH
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 12:49 pm | Permalink

    Man, how can you say that; okay the hat is so mainstream.But besides that he doesn’t really look like a “main dude”, he doesn’t even have any muscular volume…..and look at his face, just a average guy.I’m even wondering why is she dating him, she could bang one of her hot mainstream dancers for fun.But dammit doing this guy, in what world are we; where is her fucking ambition of BEING FAMOUS FOR BEING FAMOUS!!!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by ColanderBolander
    //////////Posted

    @AAAhHHHHH, seems like a Spike Jonze wannabe (via dating a Karen Oooo wannabe)

    Reply

    //////////Reply by HowardTheDUck
    //////////Posted

    @AAAhHHHHH,

    She’s not “dating” the guy. She made it very clear that she’s not into relationships. Her sole qualification in a man is “a big dick”. Period.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Mari
    //////////Posted

    @HowardTheDUck, idk about you, but i thought she sounded pretty fucking sarcastic in that video. period.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by spad
    //////////Posted

    yall r like muses
    inspired this lil’ haiku
    “I’m like so famous”

    u r a bro now
    in pink shorts and a hat
    u r almost alt

    u r on the beach
    makin’ luv for the first time
    “I’m like so famous”

    u r a big dick
    wagging infront of gaga
    offloading a load

    a bonus stanza
    “what is that ugly bitch thing
    lets see some titties”

  5. homestereo
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 1:01 pm | Permalink

    justice totes let me down. thought they were ‘chill bros’ who ‘like to remix obscure songs.’ but then they release a live album after only releasing one full length album. i think they think they are gods and people let them get away with this. h8 u justice.

    what happened to the chill ass bro musicians that cared about music and less about partying?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by HowardTheDuck
    //////////Posted

    @homestereo,

    Seeing them live will only help justify those emotions bro. I’ve never seen electronic artists just go out and play their songs like that. I mean, exactly the way they were played on the album.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Marky Mark
    //////////Posted

    @homestereo,

    Pfft, they’re French. What d1d u exp3ct????? DIFFERENT VALUES N SHIT.

    Reply

  6. savagelove
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 1:08 pm | Permalink

    This is cray-cray Carles. A situ like this happen to me anoche when I was chillin at some alt bar. SOMEONE TOLD ME YOU WERE “AZN” + SHOP AT “BABY GAP”. Needless to say, This news has crushed me.

    Reply

  7. Posted June 22, 2009 at 1:09 pm | Permalink

    “But now it seems like she just wants ‘mainstream bro cock’ like most girls.”

    Oh Carles, if you only knew how much I hate that. ];

    -Dickhead
    dickheaddiary.blogspot.com

    Reply

  8. sondeezy
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 1:29 pm | Permalink

    uhhhh, pretty sure most people who read hro “settle” for mainstream bro cock ONLY when they can’t get hot alt cock.

    Reply

  9. dan-onymous
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 1:39 pm | Permalink

    ‘doing it’ on a rocky beach looks uncomfortable/not worth it. if i were that bro, i’d hope that Lady G would at least spring for a tempur-pedic to show that she’s in our relationship for 4ever.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by natalee hologram
    //////////Posted

    @dan-onymous, <3 ur practicality! passion + sensible planning = happyness.

    Reply

  10. octopus magic
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 2:03 pm | Permalink

    would not put my dick in it if she didnt have money :(

    Reply

  11. chorles
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 2:13 pm | Permalink

    can’t believe you didn’t make some witty-ass joke about her song “p p poker face”.

    think this post gave me blu_balls.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by derryck
    //////////Posted

    @chorles, such jokes are ‘out’ now. wait 3-4 months and u can crack em ironically

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chorles
    //////////Posted

    @derryck, yeah… guess it would be pretty mainstream.

    worried i’m involuntarily losing my ‘alt’. scariest feeling evr.

    Reply

  12. HowardTheDuck
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    Should be clear that despite previous posts, would still “hit it”.

    Reply

  13. yooooooooooooooo
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 2:40 pm | Permalink

    Lady Gaga has become a boner graveyard

    Reply

  14. M
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

    Wow, she looks..not so great. She almost looks like a man?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by trolomatic
    //////////Posted

    @M,

    Wow she not looks so great. She look like man? almost…

    FIXED

    Reply

  15. Posted June 22, 2009 at 3:14 pm | Permalink

    GGGRRROOOOSSSSSSSSS!

    Reply

  16. Anon
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    wut iz gaga’s aversion 2 wherin pants?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by el fggt
    //////////Posted

    @Anon,
    her blindling grammar can see her better w/o pantalones so lady gaga wares NON

    Reply

  17. Anon
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

    I think it’s possible 4 one to alter their personality–metaphor=mask–to be authentic. Without a mask, I would be an ‘unchill’ douchebag/altbag, but I decided that I want to b ‘chill’ so wearing my ‘chill’ mask is authentic, even though it’s not truly me. Delving even deeper into psychological bullshit, being ‘myself’ would actually be unauthentic, since I would be going against my beliefs. This is my beliefs.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by anonymous
    //////////Posted

    @Anon,
    whoah. deep and philosophical. I like it.

    Reply

  18. paul
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 4:49 pm | Permalink

    Man, hipsterrunoff is deep!

    Reply

  19. DICKS DICKS DICKS
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 4:55 pm | Permalink

    POKE HER FACE

    Reply

  20. desu
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 5:49 pm | Permalink

    the main thing is that it didn’t take a lot to get her ‘unmasked’. she just stood there on the beach, still wearing designer clothes and glasses but still unmasked. thats how unattractive she is! the very first photo ‘unmasked’ her completely, and she is not doing anyhting in particular to get unmasked, like wearing something uncool and very domestic- or exposing some down to earth emotion like pain from a sharp pebble. sorry for my proper grammatical english

    Reply

  21. fredMS
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 6:29 pm | Permalink

    more like lady gag-on amirite??

    Reply

  22. nig
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 7:27 pm | Permalink

    you know this person is a hermaphrodite, right. she admitted it. has a little penor. grody!

    Reply

  23. Posted June 22, 2009 at 7:38 pm | Permalink

    She’s really unremarkable to begin with. I definitely know prettier girls.

    Reply

  24. anonymous
    Posted June 22, 2009 at 8:50 pm | Permalink

    carles. you are really here with me at every stage in my life. Right now I’m dealing with stuff like this. Like, should I embrace myself for who i am, or should I try to make myself into a better person.
    I also am in love with my alt ex-boyfriend still and couldn’t imagine dating a mainstream guy (it seems like it would be so boring). But now I have to decide whether i am unconsciously setting for the idea that alt is better because I’m bitter at mainstream guys for rejecting me in the past.

    I know hro is bullshit, but It really raises a lot of important arguments through sarcasm.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Anon
    //////////Posted

    @anonymous, Irish children are delicious.

    Reply

  25. Posted June 22, 2009 at 9:17 pm | Permalink

    ewwwwwwww she mad gross, used ta think she was bomb.

    Reply

  26. pfft
    Posted June 23, 2009 at 1:10 am | Permalink

    haha this is on the alt report

    Reply

  27. Posted June 23, 2009 at 3:15 am | Permalink

    I wonder if that bath towel provided enough cushion while being shoved against the large assortment of rocks.

    Reply

  28. DICKZ
    Posted June 23, 2009 at 5:39 am | Permalink

    dat is demetri martin she is wit

    Reply

    //////////Reply by nana
    //////////Posted

    @DICKZ, for real? it looks like him

    Reply

    //////////Reply by ffresh
    //////////Posted

    @DICKZ, i thought so too brah

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chelseabro
    //////////Posted

    @DICKZ, his nose isn’t big enough.

    Reply

  29. pete
    Posted June 23, 2009 at 6:11 am | Permalink

    fuch ur posts are getting long these days…wats doing???

    Reply

  30. May
    Posted June 23, 2009 at 11:38 pm | Permalink

    Kinda feel sad for her now that she has to rest on her talent with no help from her looks :(

    Reply

  31. Napoleon Bronaparte
    Posted June 24, 2009 at 12:15 am | Permalink

    Dang, what a disco stick that brah must have. I wonder if it’s authentic. maybe its hooligan? it for sure aint italo. judging by the shorts, its probably bootleg circa 2003.

    Reply

  32. johnson
    Posted June 24, 2009 at 8:54 pm | Permalink

    CHRIST she is fug. no surprise.

    Reply

  33. Posted July 1, 2009 at 6:14 pm | Permalink

    Gaga is a retard. Art… my ass! She is a fraking retarded show monkey doing whatever stupid shit the producers/labels tell her to. Damn that chick is ugly.

    Reply

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