Memehijack via videogum
Yall. Have been thinking about ‘getting in shape’ this summer so that I can wear sexie Am Appy tube tops instead of just 1 piece bathing suits to ‘cover up my beer bellie’ and ’show off my expanding symmetrical hip tattoos.’ Worried that I look like an alt-Beached_whale. I saw this cardio program that is apparently for indie rockers. It seems like I can ‘really get some results’ while not compromising my lifestyle/personal brand, and actually jam out to some kewl music.
I feel like I can really identify with ‘these tubby indie girls’ who bought their wardrobe at Hot Topic. I think that the moves that they use are ‘the exact same dance moves’ I use when nonchalantly swaying back and forth at an indie rock show, or when I ‘get my grind on’ at a Postal Service/AnCo show. Feel like this might be the perfect gift for the ‘overweight girl in high school’ who starts to have ‘indie tendencies’ after she ‘can’t fit in with mainstreamers.’ Then she’ll ‘lose some weight’ and ‘have a better self-image’ while posting Feist lyrics with no relevant context/life-application in her facebook profile.
Just want to create products that are marketed towards people who ‘don’t know
What sort of moves would yall put in an ‘indie rock’ fitness video?
What songs would yall use?
Are yall trying 2 lose weight?
“Please use the comments to share ur weight loss tips, stories, and goals.”
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IAmCarles.com
21 Comments
I couldn’t work out to that music.
I like to go power-walking or dance in my room like a maniac.
I don’t need to lose weight but I’m into the healthy lifestyle.
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I thought you stayed in shape by riding a fixed gear bicycle.
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They keep losing the right beat all the time and do the moves really sloppy.
Good thing I am ahtletic by nature so I can be who I am without having to pay any extra effort in addition to my healthy indie lifestyle to make my ‘physique’ reflect the ‘inside of me’.
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they might be able to lose some weight but they will always be offbeat as fuck.
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//////////Reply by Mari
//////////Posted June 17th, 2009 at 5:24 am
@mainstreamer, i’m suspecting they put the song on after, it looks so bad.
who the fuck are “the motion sick” n e way? am i “non-indie” for not knowing?
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//////////Reply by mainstreamer
//////////Posted June 17th, 2009 at 7:24 am
@Mari, even if they added the song in post, theres still no excuse for the girl in the back to be off from the rest of the group half the time.
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luv 2 do blow yall. stay totes thin.
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//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted June 18th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
@brooklynfreegan, really funny blog. i like
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I hope u dont rly think there tubby :(
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//////////Reply by anony yall
//////////Posted June 16th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
@Baguette, haha you’re fat.
yesterday i was at a bar in brooklyn in the late afternoon/early evening and there was a few people at the bar, some couples, some dudes on bro-dates, a random old guy, and then just one sad fat chick. i was thinking that i could probably write my psychology thesis and call it, “a fat girl grows in brooklyn.”
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//////////Reply by Baguette
//////////Posted June 16th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
@anony yall,
Not every1 can afford a coke habit 4 wait loss :(((
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//////////Reply by urhmmmm
//////////Posted June 17th, 2009 at 12:34 am
@Baguette,
if you can’t afford coke, you shouldn’t have enough money for food anyway. stop buying food = weight loss.
//////////Reply by anony yall
//////////Posted June 17th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
@ urhmmmm,
Cost of Coke > Cost of Food
starve carles, it is the only way
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coke makes bloat. that CHOON is AWESOME. <3 nu crap. sore ponytail.
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frankly i am appalled that carles would identify with fucking tubbsters at all wtf
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i lol’d
who ever came up with this is totes aiming at the MEXIdemographic.
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hmm.. i dnt knoe bout dat carles..
looks prettie strenuous.. :[
they’re lil chubs! haha
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jogging photography, yall.
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the most alt way 2 lose weight is to just not eat food ever lyke just eat a lil bit a day or pretend ur ‘vegan’ and only eat a lil bit of spinach around ur alt buddies they’ll all think ur so good 4 being ‘vegan’ and at the same time u get an eating disorder!! dnt bother with exercise, that is sooooo mainstream
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no fat chicks, yall
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“…while posting Feist lyrics with no relevant context/life-application in her facebook profile.”
GOLD! and TRUTH! rolled together in the same science-dropping-blunt-staff
I’m ashamed because I didn’t ‘get’ HRO before, now that I ‘know’ UR not a 14 yr old girl I think this is the ‘greatest blog ever.’
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fuck they totally stole my idea of sweatin 2 da altiez
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ha. self-unaware parody of itself. not an indie aesthetic…indiecores don’t get swoll via jazzercise. i’d brand this vhs series as “3 girls, 1 tub”……..”Life after your GED/teen preggers crisis: Hot Toppy middle managment!”……”let’s wank to low self esteem, yall”…..”KidzBOP 11: PK4 faves feat. ANCO, Brokencyde, and tons other mexi-alt chart toppers!!”
-take some addr-yall +trimspa + low-cal vodka
-buy organics from whole ‘paycheck’ (foods)
-join a youth group! shoplift at 4eva 21!
-consume less than 100 calories a day, jog in layerd am appy sweats (so kute!) with 50 nicoderm CQs glued to ur skin!
….these ALL work!!!
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you have to be born into alt-ness. you can’t ‘get in shape’ to become alt. its a recessive gene
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I don’t think that the person that runs this blog is female at all…. these posts have male written all over ‘em
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hahahaaaa ok first off i ‘roflcopter’ every day reading this.
2 lose weight 1 mite ‘try’ eating water instead of ‘food’. ‘fillz u up’ w/o ’senseless calories’ if ur picking up what I’m putting down
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luvs 2 b duh only fattie @ duh bar. Being fat + cute = chubby chaser bait & gets to tug sum super hotties wit a fattie fantasie. Being fat + ugly = go kill yoself!
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