THESE ARE RELEVANT MUSIC VIDEOS + ANALYSIS BY THE BLOGGER, CARLES
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Video: Dirty Projectors – Stillness is the Move
Analysis: I feel pressured to blog about this because they are apparently ‘relevant’ even though I don’t really ‘get’ why. Feel like I don’t ‘trust’ people who ‘ooze praise’ for the Dirty Projecties. I am not sure what this video is ‘trying to be.’ Think it is trying to be conceptual/artsy, but then also trying to be ‘normal.’ Probably like trying to trick mainstreamers into thinking that the Dirty Projector is ‘the next Feist.’ Feel like this video ‘looks worse than Bat for Lashes’ in terms of ‘forced conceptuality.’
I feel like the girls in the Dirty Projectors are ‘high level altbaguettes’ who u have a ‘very strong personal brand’ in your local scene. Ur not really sure why they are ‘desired’ or ‘respected’, but then you find out that they are ‘in some crappy band’ and their roles within the band are ‘questionable’. like you ‘went to a show where one of them just played the tambourine’ or something. You and your friends ’share their myspace page’ as a ‘very funny inside joke’ because you think their songs/pictures/listed_influences are ‘very funnie/terrible.’ Then the next thing u know, they are ‘being blogged about+praised for ‘amazing pop sensibilities” and u feel like u ‘might as well off urself.’
Sort of just want to go to a Dirty Projjies show just to ‘hear this song’ and watch people ‘overtly acknowledge’ that this is ‘the single’ by ‘doing slinky dances’ to this song.
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Video: Wavves – No Hope Kids
Analysis: This video was made from ‘meaningful footage’ as a filmmaker bro followed Wavves across his European tour. Wonder if it was sort of like ‘Almost Famous’ with an indie musician. Not sure if there was a scoop. From what I have read, Wavves is ’shatted upon’ by other artists in his genre. Think that they think he is ‘faking his gimmick’ or something, while they ‘actually live the lifestyle.’ Think that this video is ’sweet’ because they do things like ’smoke bowls of marijuana.’ Hope that Wavves’ brand is still ‘marketable’ after this video/his ‘meltdown.’
Another great thing about this video is that it really captures the essence of ‘going to a concert in your local venue’ and feeling like the other members of the audience ’seriously crawled up from the sewer’ to ‘mosh around.’ Feels weird to go to ’sewer people’ shows, but also sort of ‘authentic.’
Are yall ‘going 2 get a summer Wavves haircut’?
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Video: Coconut Records – Any Fun
Analysis: It is important to note that ‘Chloe Sevigny is in this video’, thereby making this video 250% ‘more bloggable.’ It is overall a ‘krappy video.’ Think they have ‘old cameras’ and filmed ‘normal people’ doing ‘boring stuff’ while attempting to ‘make it look beautiful.’ Not sure if Chloe Sevigny is ’still hot.’ She might have to transition her personal brand into ‘being an elegant elder alt’ soon.
Feel like Jason Schwartzman could ‘make anything’ and it would ‘look kewl’ because he was in ‘one of the most important alt movies’ of all time.
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Video: MSTRKRFT – Heartbreaker (ft. John Legend)
Analysis: I never listend to MSTRKRFT’s latest album ‘Fist of God’ because I assumed that it was ‘all banger’ or something ‘thick and unlistenable.’ But then I saw them perform this song on Letterman, and thought it was ‘pretty good.’ Feel like I like it in the same way that I ‘enjoy a remix’ but this is ‘the original version.’ That statement possibly ‘does not make sense to 38% of readers’ who are not students of the remix economy. Think that the lyrics are ‘possibly terrible’ but still ‘redeeming’ in a ’simple way.’
I enjoy this video, because it is about a Mexi family who owns a bodega. A group of white bros come in, and 1 bro is ‘meaningfully attracted’ to the hot daughter cashier. Think it is supposed to give minorities hope that they too can be courted by an uppermiddle class alt guy who is ‘ironically’ buying alcohol at ur bodega since they ’serve minors’ and also ’serve all night.’ The lazy mexi father ‘falls asleep’ and when he wakes up, ‘verbally abuses’ his daughter for letting the bros ‘run wild’ while she ‘chases alt white cock.’ Not sure if she will get a college education.
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Video: All Leather – I Don’t Hate Fags, God Does
Analysis: Think this video is sort of supposed to ‘go viral’ some how. It is depicting Jesus ‘Last Supper’ except with dark, demented, rave-culture-like elements. It is supposed to ’shock you.’ When I saw it ‘I kinda chuckled’, and fast fowarded around. Saw a ‘bunny’ and also ’some people fucking.’ Then thought about ‘the kind of people who actually like that music.’ Feels weird to think that people ‘made’ that music. Ultimately, I would just say that this product is for ‘weird faggots’ like something that ‘Adam Lambert would think is cool’ or something.
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Video: Sonic Youth – Sacred Trickster
Analysis: This is a video about ‘female cunts who want to be in a band’, I think. I think it is supposed to be a straightforward metaphor about ‘dressing up’ to seem famous/relevant/indie/authentic, but possibly ‘being hollow’ and ‘constructed by consumer choices.’ Seems straightforward. Not sure about Sonic Youth. Think they were ‘good’ back in the 80s/90s or something, but wonder if they are ‘a 1 trick pony.’
Think I went through a phase of ‘listening to Sonic Youth’ but think it was back when I was ‘trying too hard to love alt music.’ They are possibly ‘just okay’ but ultimately a product that GenXers should probably ‘authentically enjoy.’ Don’t know much about ‘music’ so they are possibly ‘very influencial’ but think I am going to start ’saying that I don’t think Sonic Youth is very good’ in conversations just to have a ‘cutting edge’ opinion. Not sure if the song in this video is ‘even any good.’
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Have yall seen n e [HIGHLY BLGGBLE] Music videos lately?
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IAmCarles.com
34 Comments
frst
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//////////Reply by Mightytaiger
//////////Posted July 3rd, 2009 at 12:00 pm
@firstbbro, Carles, thanks for bringing “meaning” into my life!
Though out of all of them i only liked MSTRKRFT’s video.
The main guy and the one that paints the horns are hot. Nice to see there is something for alt-girls to look at. No girls in bikinis – Thanks JFK!
Only thing though, at the end the “dad” talks non sense, he says “Qué está pasando guey?” to his daughter.
That’d be like saying, “What they hell, man?”…i’m sorry just not realistic…I want my videos to be “meaningful” and “real”
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//////////Reply by xavier
//////////Posted July 4th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
@Mightytaiger, your wrong. that made perfect sense. its something my dad would yell at me if he caught me wacking it
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//////////Reply by john
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
@Mightytaiger,
learn how to speak spanish.
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//////////Reply by Mightytaiger
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
@john, yeah, “john” thanks for the advice…!
“guey” is an extremely casual word, almost like “fool” or “dude” and that’s the end of that; “escuincla” would have been more accurate.
//////////Reply by Justin
//////////Posted July 5th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
@firstbbro, why does everyone in the dirty projectors look and sound like they have down syndrome? do they secretly all have down syndrome and will soon have a press release about it and shock the world? maybe that’s their appeal.
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//////////Reply by aurora
//////////Posted July 11th, 2009 at 2:56 am
@firstbbro, graveyard girl by m83.
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ssssssecond
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is the guy from wavvves overweight
can’t really discern from the video
seems like he’ll ‘definitely’ have ‘weight problems’ in the future
just thought ‘why is my life like this’
just thought about typing ’suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks’
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//////////Reply by Hannah
//////////Posted June 30th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
@tao,
He is skinny, he just has a fat looking face.
No Cardinals t-shirt in the video :[ or that bbq sweatshirt with a dinosaur on it? That is authetic
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//////////Reply by cobones
//////////Posted June 30th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
@tao, “just thought ‘why is my life like this’”
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted June 30th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
@tao,
just thought about typing mean and sarcastic things
realized its going to b ur b-day soon [via FB stalking]
thought about typing mean and sarcastic things to my pen pal
realized ’she is a nice person, and it would be a dick move, you assfuck’
feel like my shoulders are too hunched
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//////////Reply by dirtyprojectile
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 8:16 am
@tao,
not overweight, slightly mentally-retarded looking in an “authentic way”. if his face was more classically handsome he would be relegated to the itunes top 40 category.
& swartzman’s move to put altcloe in a drugrug intead of a slightly boob bearing thin-fabriced tank top = sooo very daring = why his shenanigans will always be acceptable
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//////////Reply by brian
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 12:15 pm
@dirtyprojectile,
thinking Chloe probably dressed herself here; that this video was shot with friends just hanging out; metaphor for being cool and having a good time in the summer via relational aesthetics + legendary skaterbros
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thats it. ima buy tan shorts with like ten pockets and start chillin at the mall. fuck yall.
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first
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted June 30th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
@zachary german,
fist
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//////////Reply by di
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:44 am
@zachary german, ur websites broke
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I saw a highly bloggable Miracle Whip Video. That’s close enough.
^Click Name To See Miracle Whip get its PBR on.
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also, hispters with beards are called ‘faggots’
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y’all. startin to think george bush failed us. sonic youth movie made obvy references to the battle of algiers. thats some pro-terrorist propyganders 4 sure. think osama might b recruitin alts now. heard he’s a big fan of AnCo. heard he’s going to b @ the middle east in cambridge, masshole rlly soon.
should I get an autograph?
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//////////Reply by Madi B
//////////Posted July 3rd, 2009 at 10:57 am
sonic youth video was a piss-poor attempt at taking a meaningful event and making it apply to “today’s society” [via battle of algiers with paint]
that was a steaming cauldron of fail-sauce.
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What is up with the clear cutting forest in the first vid? What does this mean for new gens of trend setting hipsters, forests are only knee high? Or clearcutted forests make for cool places to jam our complex math rock? And down-syndrome runs rampant?
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted June 30th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
@jeff, trees turn into paper
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//////////Reply by brian
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 12:17 pm
@jeff, this is not a clear cut; more like a “rocky bluff” where pinebros can not grow strong
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why are there soo many playboy ads on your site now? is carles a sell out? [via manipulation by corporate america]
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//////////Reply by pete
//////////Posted June 30th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
@gray,
i like
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//////////Reply by A F
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 1:30 am
@gray,
He can put whatever he wants on there, take their money, and remain cool to me because I’m intelligent enough to use adblock plus
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 5:07 pm
@A F,
firefox add-ons r sooo 2k8
real intelligent ppl use chrome
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Rly grossed out when that chick lip synchs her little vibratos and mouth tremors in her ’spontaneous’ alt singing. And Pitch4K or someone said something about a ‘lone wolf’ but there’s like seven dogs in the video. And they’re huskies, not wolves at all. and misidentification of species is really irritating to me. i can’t stop ranting about what a worthless abortion of a band this dirty ‘jectors are…is this tsunami of negativity what gives them their power?
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted June 30th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
@september,
im going to dl that mp3, burn it to a mixtape cd, and listen to it in my car
and every time i hear it
i will think about you
and about abortions
and about tsunamis
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//////////Reply by chrises
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:03 am
@september, Fuckin hate misidentification of species
me too
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you’re fucking dumb. all the women in dirty projectors play instruments (REAL instruments) better than most hipster garabe bands out now. have you ever seen them live? a performance vide even? you’re an idiot, and you should apologize for always making stupid assumptions about things in public forum.
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//////////Reply by yooooooooooooooo
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 12:39 am
@shut up idiot, tl;dr I need to get laid
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//////////Reply by klaus
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 8:30 am
@shut up idiot,
nice try, dirty projector’s PR agent
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//////////Reply by DiscoBiskit
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 10:44 am
@shut up idiot,
Nobody cares this isn’t 2k4 anymore only mnstrmers play ‘live instruments’ nowadays
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 1:57 pm
@DiscoBiskit,
yer name made me giggle
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confused yall… didnt kno the destinys childs had taken the MJ whitening treatment and rebrended themselves as the artsy dirt projecters… all your fault you blipster h8ing carles
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Incubus produced the Jason Schwartzbegerstein record about coconuts. Not indie/alt/credible. Oops! Carles did it again.
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:13 pm
@Brosb4bags,
‘Nighttiming’ transcends the need to be indie, alt, authentic, meaningful, relevant, credible, campy, conceptual, ironic, post-ironic, modern, post-modern (pomo), post-post-____, etc. It turns the story of a lil slut into a catchy disco anthem.
Coconut Records may never be Death From Above/Abroad, Kitsune, or Modular. Coconut Records may never be a record label. But they’ve made music that made me happy for a moment or two.
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:16 pm
@SilverTell,
*they = Incubus, Wes Anderson bro, and coconuts
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only problem with first video’s commentary: 1 pair tits make any band 10x more notable than an all-dilz band. Talent not even a fucking factor either way. Deal with it.
Sonic Youf vid: personally never got why they were ALWAYS infallible, and this vid is no different. Their commentary here seems 20 years too late or meant to appeal to homogeneous semi-hot art/alt privileged NYC gals in 20-24 demographic. Not really saying shit. At all.
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What is it about the guy in sunglasses in the MSTRKRFT video that makes me want to dry hump him for hours?!?
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//////////Reply by chrises
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:10 am
@fattienskinniegenes,
really>???????????
that guy looks like the downie syndromes versions of ‘Snow’
+ this video makes me feel like these bros really loved godard but didn’t actually “get” him
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//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:11 am
@fattienskinniegenes, it’s cuz he’s such a smug fggt
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//////////Reply by fattienskinniegenes
//////////Posted July 2nd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
@vdieselfor20, I have always had a semi girl chub for smug fggts!
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i like the dp song and video. that girl has a nice face. the guy looks a little altbro-ish though, and i can’t decide if llamas are ‘cool’ or kind of a try-hard/bandwagonish animal to affiliate oneself to (like pandas).
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//////////Reply by Bernardo
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 1:58 pm
@chuck,
I believe its an alpaca not a llama? Anyways dude needs to immediately off his stupid serious ‘this is deep art’ face immediately. Honestly the music wasn’t bad but that video is a festering pile of forced conceptual vomit.
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you should blog about we have band ‘you came out’
i think they are prolly about to be ‘blog famous’
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//////////Reply by black ppl
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 5:30 am
@baberaham linkin, about 2 be? they are old news dude, we have band is sitting in the same blog mueseam of history as justices and mastercats.
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i dont really relate to the projectors video but i like it, sort of like i want to say “yes, yall go do that and i bet you are having fun, and maybe sometime if its right i might join you, but otherwise not, but i still respect what you do”
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//////////Reply by jermi
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 5:39 am
does that make sense?????????
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//////////Reply by september
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 8:37 am
@jermi, ja it does. and i WANNA be all, “Live [via letting live]” and, “to each his own” and such. But then I just see that smug look in their eyes and I realize that they’ve declared war on art, and then i instinctively revert to my Rosie Riveter/Rebel Alliance war footing, and i vow to defeat them [via force being with me].
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//////////Reply by brian
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 12:20 pm
@september, they’ve declared war on art? seems like they work very well in fine art context via being loved by david byrne
//////////Reply by september
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 12:50 pm
@brian, not TALKIN’ bout the ‘fine art contexts’! Talkin’ bout art. u no? comes from inside. deep down.
//////////Reply by jermi
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 4:01 pm
@september, i haven’t read their mission statement, that might be a turn-off if it used too many inauthentic words. but i think this is a groovy vid. even they’re crappy dancing reminds me of The Sprocketttes [via pdx]!!
i can see what your saying about the smug look w/ the 2 back-up dancers but the singer doesnt look smug to me, maybe she is just rly self-actualized?????
//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:32 pm
@jermi, none of u make n e sense [via being dumb]
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:33 pm
@anon, not u brian u make sense
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The latest Bloc Party video ‘One More Chance’ came out 2 days ago
http://www.mtv.co.uk/artists/bloc-party/video/one-more-chance
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//////////Reply by r
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 3:26 pm
@Meredith, like the song, but kinda a ghey video for the bloc parts. wolf shirt (so 2weeks ago) and ipod ghett0blaster? haha
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why do you h8 canadians?
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//////////Reply by Mightytaiger
//////////Posted July 3rd, 2009 at 12:04 pm
@wuza, and on Canada day…there’s just no respect now a days..
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mastercraft vid was lame. fggts coming into store and prancing around…woooo
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Am Appy has lots of illegal Mexi’s working for them: http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSTRE55T7TU20090701
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//////////Reply by altonymous
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@monster,
illegal mexis are more authentic
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Are we sure Wavves isn’t that dude from SNL?
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//////////Reply by jimmi
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 10:36 pm
@G-Lox, he had to get shrunk to become an alt
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Jason schwartzjew is cool because he got all those pro skaters to be in his video.
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//////////Reply by AltMostFamous
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 1:16 pm
@anon,
If by kewl you mean lame @nd fail then yeah. Sry but skating is the most bro-ish things going @nd only bros do it. Skating hasn’t been ALT since the 90’s.
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 2:40 pm
@AltMostFamous,
“If by kewl you mean lame @nd fail then yeah.”
Some older alts rly like the DIY aesthetic which often confuses me. Still Pony Pony Run Run’s “Hey You” and The Cobrasnake’s “I’ll Get You” execute this technique in a much more interesting way.
“Sry but skating is the most bro-ish things going @nd only bros do it.”
Not true. Golf, college football, and drinking Natural Lite, I would argue are the “most bro-ish things going.”
“Skating hasn’t been ALT since the 90’s.”
Skating hasn’t been alt since the ’70s!
What do u think CRLS? Has skating not been alt since the 19_0’s?
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//////////Reply by DRR
//////////Posted July 1st, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@SilverTell,
I’d say early 80’s on skating. I define the Alt-Mnstrm shift on skating as Pre/Post Tony Hawk.
DIY is overrated. Soo glad modern Alts don’t care about this.
drity projectors have changed so much and it pisses me off/yes makes me want 2 off myself
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i hate that stoopid mastercat song and the video is even worse. i thought they were more club and all about dancing n crap
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new rye rye “bang” video (directed by MIA) http://pitchfork.com/news/35799-video-rye-rye-bang-directed-by-mia/
not sure what to think yet.
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//////////Reply by heey
//////////Posted July 2nd, 2009 at 11:37 am
@ummm, Thanks
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why do you even review these videos if you don’t even like them? all you are doing is talking shit. i dont give a fuck about your negative opinions. why don’t you find something you like and say something nice about it? is it that hard? btw – do you even know who Mark Gonzales is? fucking POSER.
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//////////Reply by Mightytaiger
//////////Posted July 3rd, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@kopeli, hahaha, is carles messing with “the meaning” in your life.
Do you want to feel inspired?
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//////////Reply by Mightytaiger
//////////Posted July 3rd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
@Mightytaiger, Also he writes about “shit” he doesn’t like for the same reason you come to a website you are annoyed by and leave angry comments.
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All leather is light years over Glambert’s gay head. Jusitn Pearson is insane with talent. I have never seen anyone play a guitar like him. And when hes screams…oh my god. I’ve yet to hear of a more vicious vegan. He could kick anyones teeth in. This fag is definately worth his salt. I just wish the fans were to, though.
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Dirty Projectors are f-ing annoying and should go back to anonymity and living in their communes.
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some late thoughts
the first video looks like it was done by the same art people that did twilight
the second one although fresh compared to the overstylized bullshit on the other videos, is poor and does not offer much… lou barlow did the whole ’spoiled’ thing much better
i agree about chloe’s tiring gimmick, but i think its sexist you singled her out when jason is dressed like a 14yrold
i like like how you described the bodega one, the racial elements were among the first to pop up in my mind
i couldnt stand watching the jesus one, sorry
i saw the sonic youth one some time ago and i didnt have the info that this was supposed to relate to some real event like the comments here are pointing out, at the time i thought they were poking fun at a bankrupt art scene and i thought how pathetic since they are well established in that social milieu and actually the fucking poster kids
bye
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i feel like i would get the wavves haircut ‘if i was a boy’
but for now just kinda ‘think he’s cute’
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wish i was the bunny in the All Leather video
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