Sometimes I wonder what ‘the next big technologie’ is and what sort of idea will change the way that we all consume a certain product/live my life. Sort of wish I could invent something that would make the world a better place by inspiring pure joy out of humans, and also ‘make me hella rich’ and possibly socially relevant to every1. Sorta like Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Benjamin Franklin or Jason Twitter.
I feel like if I could have invented anything in the past 1000 years, I would have invented the popular vending machines called ‘redboxes.’
Even though they sound like a vending machine that somehow ‘gives u a blowjy’, they are actually a DVD rental system, specifically aimed at poor people who shop at Wal Mart or eat at McDonalds regularly, and particularly at a special group of poors who shop at WalMarts and eat at a McDonalds within a WalMart.
Basically, u get to rent a movie for $1 from a redbox. Instead of dealing with Netflix’s high subscription cost, or going into an overpriced store like the Blockbuster, u get to easily rent a movie for just $1. It seems almost ‘too good to be true.’ Sorta wish they also sold popcorn and Milk Duds in the same machine.
I feel like we’re always so busy reading about bold new technological innovations that we forget that we are the socially elite members of society, and believe it or not, we are a minority. Real people can’t find entertainment in things like twitter because their lives’ are boring and they haven’t reached a respectable level of self-awareness. They just see life as a trivial routine of going to work, eating, and shitting. Why would they value social networks or memes if they are basically living a dumb life with no desire for a ‘creative outlet’ where ‘a tribe’ is able to keep up with u? Real people ‘know better’ and don’t try to cultivate value from feeling close to people on the internet, and they just try to find simple pleasures and stay happy+unhealthy.
I want to get more in touch with ‘the common man.’ The regular ‘dudes and chicks’ who are just looking for something to take up their time between the hours of 5-11:30 pm (the time after work, but before bed). Sometimes TV is pretty sweet, and eating can take up a lot of time too. Might get into a dead end relationship, start eating tons of ’shitty food’, and chill my way over to a redbox everynight, telling myself that I’m ‘getting a sweet deal.’
I get s00 tired of Barack Obama saying that we need 2 ‘get more technological’ to save the economy, like some ‘huge breakthru’ is gonna save us. He needs to realize that we need to sell down market, creating an economy of ‘poor people’ who think that they ‘have luxuries’ and stuff like that. We need to help them feel empowered by making their lives’ easier. While so many of the headlines go to things like ‘twitter’, ‘macbook’, and ‘iPhone’ just because they are overwhelming brands, we really need to realize that simple things make money too. Simple things last forever, that’s why soda machines still chill in every building in America. For $1, you can have the pleasure of a refreshing cola beverage.
Feel like we need more vending machines, like pizza vending machines
Or possibly games where u ‘have a slim chance of winning’ but still give u ‘hope’ that ur special+smart+competent enough to win, like the game STACKER, or that game where you have to knock tokens over the edge to ‘win.’
I believe that America can recover from ‘the recession’, but we have to admit that we are what we are. We have to admit that we are probably only a top20 nation in the world, and that we can build a self-sustaining economy if we just admit that we are humans who have simple pleasures. Sorta like a high school kid who ‘thought he should get into an Ivy League school’ but then realized he was only ’smarter than the dumb people in his/her high school’ and ’started to settle for social acceptance as a reward.’ We must get in touch with ourselves’. We can eat well until we die and watch cool shit every night [via HD]. Feel like we need to stop trying to be ‘extremely innovative’ and possibly just ‘execute simple ideas.’
If ur a student going into college, I would encourage you to major in Psychology, Sociology, Anthropology, Marketing, or Communications. These majors will enable you to see how the world works, and teach you to make good decisions about life.
See yall later. Gonna go rent a movie for $1. Hope I return it on times so I’m not charged $25. Get lazy sometimes but at least I get to keep a sweet DVD.
Please use the comments section to pitch ur ideas+economic recovery plan to ‘the government.’
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20 Comments
1sttt bitchesss
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LETS CUDDLE
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OKAY CARLES,
This thing read like a paper you wrote for Postmodern Sociology 203 and just shortened up and added words like “u” and “poor people” to.
What the H-E-DOUBLEHOCKEYSTICKS am I saying?
This IS your Postmodern Sociology 203 term paper, isn’t it?
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//////////Reply by sldkjas
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@Mechrobioticon, shutttttt upppppp
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//////////Reply by Mechrobioticon
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 1:47 pm
well, looks like my number’s up!
later guys!
doobie doop doo…
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I don’t think our economie will get sayved until we start putting underwear in vending machines like Japn does.
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//////////Reply by somali pirate
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 3:19 am
*used underwear
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//////////Reply by truth
//////////Posted June 4th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
@somali pirate, haha
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darling pie.
you are making me more depressed as each day goes by (yes the truth is depressing – I do however live by ignorance is bliss). yes the world is full of retarded people just trying to get by on the vending machine pizza crumbs and diabetic cola shock. no point in shoving it in our faces so consistently.
yours truly,
northsidelady
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//////////Reply by Mechrobioticon
//////////Posted June 2nd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
you’ll suck a dick
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//////////Reply by Northsidelady
//////////Posted June 2nd, 2009 at 11:42 pm
@Mechrobioticon, there’s a vending machine for that now? huzzah.
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//////////Reply by Mechrobioticon
//////////Posted June 2nd, 2009 at 11:56 pm
OH SNAP
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 10:20 pm
@Northsidelady, That’s why drugs were invented. They can prevent you from being so self-aware during inconvenient times. I often wonder what drugs must be like for people who aren’t self-aware.
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your major recs are really major non-recs.
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didn’t take ‘maje’ in n e of those areas u mentioned.
now i know why i feel so lost
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Is redbox good or not good carles?
Tell me, I need to know what to validate
and not validate in this confusing authentic/inauthentic
world. I need to look @ this blog to know what to hate
on and not hate on, and the people who I should prejudice against and not.
I am a tool
I am
a reader of Hipster Runoff…
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//////////Reply by Mechrobioticon
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 1:14 am
D00d I feel it, too. Idiots on HRO are all worker-ant automatons. I bet they even voted for George W. Bush and don’t like South Park.
It’s like they’re plugged into “The Matrix” and don’t even know it.
Let’s go listen to Maynard and read Ayn Rand.
Stick it to tha man!
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//////////Reply by bbbbb
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 9:50 am
@Maxwell, what r u talking about. crls is god. i would jump off a cliff for him, or fight a dinosaur.
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feel like people who complain about carles’s subject matter are ‘full of shit.’ i read hr because its not only ‘funny’ but ‘insightful’ as well.
this post was awesome like all the others coz it kept me ‘entertained.’ isnt that worth it?
if not you should fucking ‘kill’ yourself (via cabletv)
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carles, remember ‘lets get vulnerable?’ been a while.
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redbox + Sweet TEA for a DOLLAR
people at my mcdonald’s know me by name
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//////////Reply by Mechrobioticon
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
+2 internets for saying you like sweet tea.
Even if I didn’t like sweet tea, I would get behind this comment.
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//////////Reply by Vdieselfor20
//////////Posted August 20th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
DIE
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i think the government should stop outsourcing the electro economy to asia…not sure though,,, i’m just a bro…
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I want an azn vending machine.
How much do you thnk an azn would go 4?
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//////////Reply by sldkjas
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@Scott Curtis, depends what kind
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//////////Reply by Scott Curtis
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 2:58 pm
@sldkjas, What kind of azn’s are there? Can you detail the pricing structure as it would apply to vending machines, plz?
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do poor ppl know about movie torrents?
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//////////Reply by neednotapply
//////////Posted June 3rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
@chorles, srsly
…or about getting a library card?
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just got a boner.
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i majed in anth
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this is actually a very sophisticated post.
relates to this guy; maybe not appropriate for HRO
http://www.iousathemovie.com/
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This is so true. The first time I saw one of these I just stood in front of it for several minutes contemplating it. This x-coworker that I hadn’t seen in years (from a job I had back when I still cared) starts to engage me AND talk about how cool this thing was. I think I asked if there were any other movies. I think they assumed that I had seen all these when in reality there wasn’t one thing there that I would actually watch. They didn’t seem to aging very well either….we’re only 4 or 5 years here. Does shopping at wal-mart, having kids, or just being a mainstreamer make you age faster?
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Wow, I bet you like to smell your own farts. That seriously is the most stuck-up thing I have ever heard in my life.
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//////////Reply by truth
//////////Posted June 4th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
@Peter Juice, oh the irony.
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A vending machine that sells vending machines so that new business can sprout up on the most impoverished housing estates?
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