It’s kinda weird when some thing becomes a ‘phenomenon’ and u don’t even really ‘realize it’, kinda like how all of a sudden the Kings of Leon were the new Nickelback. Then u sort of have to ‘do a lot of googling’ to figure out how/why something became ‘culturally relevant’ within mainstream tween consumer society. Kinda like High School Musical/Jonas Brothers/SpongeBob Square Pants/Pogs/TickleMeElmo, etc. It’s just like ‘damn… who are the people consuming this stuff?’ Feel most alive when I am trying to understand ‘WHY’ something is popular.
////////////
//////Carles will attempt
////// to ‘understand’ Twilight
//////////
From what I understand, Twilight was a ‘book’, but then became ‘a movie series.’ I think most successful books are not really ‘1 book’, but a series of books. Not sure if that is because of Lord of the Rings, or Chronicles of Narnia, or for some other reason. Think that in our modern world, ppl want to ‘connect with a series.’ Don’t just want a ‘one and done’ experience. Also think that books/movies in ’series format’ are ‘more marketable.’ You can make ‘mad bank’ off a 3 part series, and keep building a franchise with what seems like ‘natural’ buzz.
Here are the book covers. The artwork ’seems very shitty’ but also like something ‘very branded.’ Like something that you see ‘every1 in ur local highschool’ reading and talking about.
N e ways… Twilight was written by some broad named Stephenie Meyer. She is apparently Mormon. She looks like this.
As you can see, she is ’sorta chubby, yet confident.’ This personal brand is critical in establishing Twilight’s ‘niche.’ Twilight is apparently about some Vampire bro, or something, and this regular girl falls in love with him. I think it is supposed to be ’somewhat sexual’, but also romantic. I think it is supposed to tap into ‘the lonely teenage girl’ demographic.’ U must understand that the story of Twilight are the dreams/subconscious desires of this ‘pleasantly plump, mildly pretty, sweet heart’ of a woman.
It’s weird to think that ‘kids/teens actually read books’ still. I feel like cliched ‘good parents’ have to encourage their kids to ‘read’ even though the modern ‘literary landscape’ is probably ‘pretty terrible.’ Don’t have ‘first hand knowledge’, but I would just imagine that every is trying to become ‘the next Harry Potter’ or something, or possibly ‘the next Devil Wears Prada.’ Seems like books are probably ‘fucking garbage’, particularly in the teen/tween market.
I’m not sure how I feel about ‘reading.’ Feel like it is something to do when you are in elementary+middle+high school, but you can build a ‘more rewarding intellectual life’ build around social media + blogs + the internet + the NYTimes. Unless you are reading ‘really good books’ that are probably from a long time ago, seems ‘not worth it’ to even bother reading ‘a NY Times best seller’ or some other gimmick book. Feel like my brain can only really handle ‘a wikipedia entry about a book’ as opposed to ‘actually reading the book.’
Just funnie to imagine a female whose parents ‘don’t let her date’ and ‘are pressuring her to go to a good, yet affordable university’ finding some sort of ‘dream world’ within these books. One where love ’seems real’, but is also ‘just 4 fun’ since it is with a Vampire bro, or something. Feel like while these parents are ‘raising a good kid’, they are also probably ‘buttering them up’ to be ‘mediocre’ and never really ‘get’ important ‘global concepts.’ Sort of like being ‘lazy parents’ when it comes to ‘letting them fit in’ but at the same time, emphasizing ‘positive stuff’ like reading, participation in ‘the arts/community/team sports’, and other ’stupid shit.’
Seems easier to raise a bro than some girl.
n e ways… think that Twilight is trying 2 tap into this ‘lonely girl’ zeitgeist. Think that lonely girls ‘chill on the internet’ but also have ‘an internet curfew.’
I guess ‘being a movie’ is helpful in creating an opportunity where ‘being a Twilight fan’ is something that girls can ‘be a part of.’ Sorta like how bros are into sports, I think girls are eager to prove that they have ’something of their own’ and often get ‘too into it’ or something.
Think it is also important that they have a ‘hot bro’ who is the main vampire. Not sure if he is ‘hot.’ Seems like a teenager who ‘just started to learn how to use a hard cock’, and has a face of ‘being over eager to stick it into some tight lil teen pussy.’
I think the lead girl in the movie, Kristen Stewart, is supposed to be ‘edgy.’ Like sorta alt, but pretty mainstream. I think that she is the embodiment of how ‘fat girls think that they look’ when they put on a ton of makeup + eye liner + have a sexie gaze into the camera.
Think that this greasy teen bro is also in it. Not sure what he does/what the story line is, but he is possibly supposed to be a heart throb.
Twilight has also ‘branded itself’ with the type of music that the band PARAMORE makes. I feel like ‘lonely girls’ think that this type of music is the only art that can express their sense of darkness+hope. The lead singer is a female, and she also ‘dyes her hair zany colors’, so I think that is something that sheltered girls do to ‘express themselves’ while still ‘promising to make all A’s in school.’
Can’t believe this book series is ‘culturally relevant.’ Think it is one of those things where it is an ‘interesting topic’ so you’ll get ‘mad hits’ if you cover it, and before you know it, every outlet ‘feels pressure’ to cover it. I’ll bet the book ‘reads really easily’ or something, so it doesn’t isolate teens who have a low reading level. Guess it is just important to ‘understand ur audience’ so that u can write words + stories that they relate 2.
Maybe everything is the same. Maybe we’re all the same.
Does n e 1 know if this book is good?
Are vampire bros capable of ‘loving’ or do they ‘just wanna fuck’?
Should I read Harry Potter?
What book represents U?
When people read a ‘popular book’ and tell u it is ‘actually really good’, do u tell them that they need to ‘grow the fuck up’?
Wonder if Twilight is the new Catcher in the Cradle (Fight Club–A Seppy Peace).
Loading ...
IAmCarles.com
68 Comments
not sure i believe that vampires are capable of love. not sure what love is.
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//////////Reply by redcockbrosauce
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@pfft, bby dnt hurt me; no more
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//////////Reply by mike
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
twilight bro probably really likes red wings
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Putting the awesomeness of this blog’s style aside, Harry Potter is actually WORTH reading. This Twilight fad sh!t just brings bad tidings to good things with ‘twilight’ in the name. AKA ‘The Twilight Zone’ or that zelda game. I’m so tired of seeing the stereotypical ‘anti-beauty’ wandering the aisles (if you can call them aisles) of Hot Topic for the perfect Twishirt. And I’m so sick of fans of twilight putting ‘twi’ infront of everything.
Well, that it, im twidone twityping this comment.
PEACE YALL
nd READ HPOTTER
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//////////Reply by REMBRANDT FON RIGN
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
@Jill, lol good one
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//////////Reply by bbbbb
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:00 am
@Jill, i feel like girls usually make the worst comments on this blog
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
@bbbbb, i’m a girl & i agree [via girls not being funnie in general]
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//////////Reply by yooooooooooooooo
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
@anon, girls don’t have to be funny. One of the evolutionary traits of the bro was to get funnie so he could get laid
//////////Reply by natalee hologram
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@bbbbb, ppl who say ‘i feel like’ in front of opinions usually have lo self esteem. :(
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//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
@natalee hologram, may-b they just want to acknowledge their opinion isnt absolute, especially in a POSTMODERN world
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted July 11th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
@natalee hologram, feel like this comment is ’sillie.’
//////////Reply by chuck
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
@Jill, that was the shittiest zelda game.
ocarina of time ftw.
Reply
//////////Reply by Jill
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
@chuck, No way, shitty is Wind Waker. Twilight Princess was a refreshing new installment. Though I agree, you can never really beat Ocarina of Time.
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//////////Reply by clarence
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 4:59 am
@Jill, WIND WAKER WAS NOT SHIT HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT -_-
//////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
//////////Posted July 25th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
@Jill,
YoujusteruptedComicConxHRO..
:[
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//////////Reply by Jill
//////////Posted July 25th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
@BlipsterCambridge, What?
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fuck almost 1st :-(
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We all into that V
Got Vamp Marks on my Meat
[via TruBlood]
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//////////Reply by jvac
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
@fullscale008, trueblood>everything. love that show.
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//////////Reply by lykk
//////////Posted August 11th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
@fullscale008, twilight wishes it were trublood
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More like attempting to ignore it all completely
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‘for real,’ paramore is a great mainstream band. actual talent.
Reply
//////////Reply by lam
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
@paramore, Paramore is lame. Like, they’re emo, but they deny being emo, but they still sing about their feelings with small Christian undertones.
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//////////Reply by July
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:29 am
@lam, they deny ‘being emo’ because inherently all human beings know that ‘being emo’ is ‘fucking lame’, but they still need to feed their mainstream ‘emo-loving’ audience.
Think that they’re like an ‘emo’ Creed.
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//////////Reply by Mari
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 6:52 am
@paramore, i agree. got my haircut like hayley’s back in 2k5.
miss u paramore. :(
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//////////Reply by Paratrooper
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 11:48 am
@paramore, PARAMORE is g…a….y…..
THE END
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STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY TWEEN AUDIENCE. YOU CANT HAVE THEM
Reply
//////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
//////////Posted July 25th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
@THENATTYBROS,
Retaine them, all they talk about is nurdshet and Poremore.
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I think that Twilight is for the nerdy/quirky girl demographic who grew up playing with horses and had some horse back riding lessons.
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//////////Reply by Cray
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
@erc,
like girls named Gabby or Abbey
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//////////Reply by ray
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 1:33 am
@Cray, honestly the truest thing.
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//////////Reply by erc
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
@Cray, YEAH! Hahaha.
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//////////Reply by Kwil
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
@erc, YES! I know someone who is this exact stereotype (who grew up and STILL rides horses). Guess what she is all hot for right now?
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//////////Reply by Keith
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
@Kwil, vampire cock?
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I drive a silver volvo. just like the vampire bro. I was thinkin i could use my volvo to do things to get the attention of hot girlies who luv twilight. sorta like a referance that girls would totally get.
BIG QUESTION
How do i referance twilight with my silver volvo to ‘get laid’?
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//////////Reply by 89yh
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
@Cray,
You need to sparkle. And be a vampire. Good luck.
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//////////Reply by redcockbrosauce
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
@Cray, just write KUNT across your windshield
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//////////Reply by Pam
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
@Cray,
love your idea.
play hard to get,it worked for Edward Cullen.
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//////////Reply by July
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:32 am
@Pam, This would be the perfect time to break out your mint condition Ray Ban Wayfarers and maybe some hair gel.
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//////////Reply by chuck
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
@July, rayban clubmasters.
//////////Reply by Chrises
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 3:25 am
@Cray,
feel like the twilight fangirls won’t be interested in an elderly lesbian
?
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//////////Reply by Cray
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@Cray,
Ya, i think im just gonna approach some girlies with wayfarers and gelled up hair and say “hey ladies, ever suck off a vampire?”
Itll so work.
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//////////Reply by we tigers
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 9:43 am
@Cray, hold your breath for a long time and talk like you just passed ESL
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//////////Reply by lykk
//////////Posted August 11th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
@we tigers, fuuuuck you r so fuckin right haha i watched twilight to ‘be ironic’ and me and my friends were lafing the whole time becuz he was just like that.
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Dude, it’s about this vampire bro who is totally hot & gorgeous & charming & magical & beautiful who gets totally into some random not cute, kinda chubby girl who has no friends, no one cares about. But HE thinks she’s really special + the fact that he is a VampBro means he has special powers that see how special/unique this girl is that the other losers at her school can’t see, and he has to fight werewolf/zombie/frankenstein bros to protect her because she’s so unique/meaningful/relevant.
It’s no wonder why these books appeal to so many boring chubby girls/womens all across america.
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Sooo disappoint in these books. Knew they were considered “not good/really bad” artistically but I <3 Vampires and wanted to read some hawt Vampire sex action.
There is no action :(. Like 50′000′000 pages in all these books and I never got to a part where teh girl take’s Edwards icey cold vampire balls in her mouth & gives his Vamp cawk a tugjob. 4 giant books about romance between hawt/dangerous vampire boys + human girls and NO sex. How is that possible?
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//////////Reply by redcockbrosauce
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 9:07 pm
@SweetKenny, i wish eddy cully would give me a tuggy
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//////////Reply by TR_M
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
@SweetKenny, haha
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Yo don’t go reading *books*. Life is *short*. And anyway Internet is the new books.
Twighlight is a story for girls. You’re supposed to not understand it if you’re not a girl.
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i would totally slam that author
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//////////Reply by louis
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
@redcockbrosauce, she has nice DSLs [via dick sucking lips]
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just one question.
Do I dazzle you?
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I <3 these bookses
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//////////Reply by Oh No, Oh My
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 4:51 am
@Bristol Palin,
Your surname is also Palin.
Not Surprising
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If the main char’s best friend doesn’t die for no good reason and helps the main char come of age, it’s prbbly not very good.
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i have a confession, yall. i read ‘twilight’ last year to impress girls and make them think i’m “sensitive” or some shit. turns out most just thought i was “hella ghey” and “kinda retarded”.
think this taught me a life lesson in being alt. like doing mainstream things can only hurt you. learn from my mistake.
also, “I think that she is the embodiment of how ‘fat girls think that they look’ when they put on a ton of makeup + eye liner + have a sexie gaze into the camera” is one of the most relevant things i’ve read in a long time. h8 fat bitches that wear skinnie jeans and think they’re a “photographer”. it’s like a subculture of altchicks that can’t get “laid”
damn.
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//////////Reply by golden soul
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
well posted bro. alt on.
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//////////Reply by rrrororoor
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 2:08 am
@doubleyou,
you’re lame
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//////////Reply by steph golightly
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 11:49 am
@doubleyou, wearing skinny jeans=usually a mistake
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//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
@doubleyou, dont listen to the ‘haters’
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//////////Reply by lykk
//////////Posted August 17th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
@doubleyou, 2nd the fat chicks comment being relevant as fuck.
but i had this thought that maybe its truly alt to be obese because alts are usually skinny.
should i start ‘eating like an overweight single 40 year old woman’ to become truly alt?
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the ugly girl cant fuck the vampire bcuz vampireBro luvs her ‘2 much’ and vampire peens are covered in teeth that devour sweet pussie
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//////////Reply by twihard
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:34 am
@louis, ouch, yall.
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//////////Reply by clarence
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 5:04 am
@twihard, Ever seen ‘Teeth’?
It’s a movie btw.
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//////////Reply by eric northman
//////////Posted July 9th, 2009 at 8:56 am
@clarence, shut up it was crappy and not relevant, and overtalked
guys just don’t understand.
In today’s youth guys are all about hooking up and then sending it to textsfromlastnight.
I get into the book way better than the movie.
but check it out Carles you never know.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
@Pam,
idk about that
i dated this girl 4 for like 2.3 yrs in highschool
then she joined the navy
and we broke up
and i cant send that into textsfromlastnight now can i???
mostly cause she never had txting, so we didnt have a funny convo [via txt] that taken out of context would make random strangers ‘lol’
so go fuck urself and ur appreciation of twilight and ur dismissal of modern bros
also
@Crls
POST MOAR MyChemRomance MP3s!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SHIFTPLUSONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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good post crls
p.s. a separate peace is the faggiest thing i’ve ever read.
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//////////Reply by pfft
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 8:44 am
@andrew, whats wrong with a separate peace? seems pretty harsh with no explanation.
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Who the hell are you carle? NEVER heard of you but these people seem to praise you. Who are you?
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//////////Reply by redcockbrosauce
//////////Posted July 6th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
@confused, He is yall.
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//////////Reply by phydeax
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 2:36 am
@confused, He is the invisible hand of the alt market [via capitalism]. Just want to “break out” and “live in a commune”. Just trying to be me y’all
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//////////Reply by Chrises
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 3:31 am
@phydeax,
just want to live in a commune too yall
but one that has the kind of vintage clothes/brand new electronics I can purchase with my parents money and enjoy
just bein myself, on a farm, listening to grizzley collective on my 300 dollar ipod yall
//////////Reply by Panos
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 4:55 am
@confused, Saw him when he stopped by Chi town a couple weeks back. It can be said that his choice of unsightly “Arial, 14-pt, Bold” font has more character than he does. I liken his following to that of Miley Cyrus
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//////////Reply by Luci
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
@Panos, LOL. Awesome.
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//////////Reply by bbbbb
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:27 am
@confused, he is mj, risen again, toxic white flesh falling from his emaciated frame, terrorizing jane austen characters
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//////////Reply by Tuggz
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
@confused,
he’s <3//h8/missing.
he’s a meme.
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So it’s big, but not so culturally relevant that I need to actually understand it so much as I need to understand the argument against it?
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“I think that she is the embodiment of how ‘fat girls think that they look’ when they put on a ton of makeup + eye liner + have a sexie gaze into the camera.”
this will be my senior yearbook quote
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Still listen to Kings of Mainstream.
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I love Kristen Stewart, I like how she’s awkward in interviews, she’s more interesting than most actresses
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//////////Reply by Tuggz
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
@M, she gives off a disturbing feel, cause she does too many drugz.
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//////////Reply by we tigers
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 9:48 am
@M,
She’s such a horrible actress
trying 2 hard 2 be alt, not working, twilight isn’t alt
\next year she’ll be in a coming of age indie
with michael ceras
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//////////Reply by chocolate
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
@we tigers, i love michael cera dont mixc him up w some shitty wannabe actress
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vampire weekend YALL
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//////////Reply by LAWL
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:29 am
@a really humble guy,
hehehehehehheehhee
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jesus christ could you use quotation marks anymore. i couldnt even make it through this whole entry because i was tired of you putting quotation marks around everything. quotation marks dont make whatever youre writing about ironic, and noting the irony in things doesnt make you a hipster. it makes you a moron. gtfo. youre slipping carles.
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//////////Reply by iopul
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 1:32 am
@quotation marks,
it’s called “feeling disconnected from what ur saying” [via autism]
just tryin_2 b authentic, yall
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//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
@quotation marks, may-b u should ’shut up’
b-cuz ur post was ‘fucking boring’ w/o quotation marks
still <3 u tho
Reply
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted July 11th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
@quotation marks, don’t think u ‘get it.’
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TEAM EDWARD
harry potter = ghey
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I think anyone that is talking crap about Twilight without actually knowing anything about it is ridiculous.
I am not a hardcore Twilight fan. I didn’t enjoy the movie, nor do I enjoy the screaming fans of Robert Pattinson, but I do enjoy the books. It’s well written and not your typical love story. I think the movie has ruined it for the books in the eyes of many people. Everyone knows about Twilight from the poorly produced movie and judge it solely on that.
Stop being so ignorant.
Also, many of you have the image of Twilight fans wrong.
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//////////Reply by Frenchie
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 3:52 am
@C, anyone who believes that the Twilight books are well-written clearly has no idea what that phrase means.
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//////////Reply by altbooknazi
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 8:15 am
@C, go read a real book and get back to us.
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//////////Reply by chocolate
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
@altbooknazi, OK im a girl i read the book and it WAS written like a 8 year old girl who has seen too many shitty romance movies
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//////////Reply by relevant.
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
@C, someones but hurts from too much vamp cock.
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//////////Reply by C
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
@relevant., why don’t you refrain from posting until you actually have something intelligent to say.
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//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
@relevant., FUCK U RELEVANT UR SO IGN0R4NT! IF U DONT HAVE N E THING INTELLIIGENT OR NICE TO SAY DONT SAY ANYTHING DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!
FCKING H8 U
FCKING <3 TWILIGHT (VIA VAMP KOK)
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//////////Reply by marla
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 1:58 am
@C, lol I read the books and sorta like them just for the sake that I’m a ‘lonely teen searching for love’ but I’m not retarded enough to think it was ‘well-written.’
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//////////Reply by tattoos
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 9:49 am
@C,
\it’s not even “vampirically accurate”
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//////////Reply by C
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
@tattoos, it’s called creative imagination.
how do you define “vampirically accurate” anyway? it was all made up at some point.
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//////////Reply by anonyt
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
@C, hahahahaha
post-post-post irony?
your mind ‘makes me hard’. I think we should hook up
5$ says the girl commenting above me is fat.
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//////////Reply by rrrororoor
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 2:12 am
@Molly,
haha
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//////////Reply by Anonyt
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 1:50 am
@rrrororoor, I lol’d
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Feel like Stephanie Meyer was a ‘chubby/ugly/lonely broad’ in middle school and fantasized about ‘fucking’ a Vampire bro. Maybe she/twilite fans just wants 2 ‘chill on the internets at 3 AM’ writing creepily explicit Draco Malfoy/Edward Cullen roleplays.
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//////////Reply by tattoos
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 9:52 am
@brenda,
Feel like Stephanie Meyer is a ‘progressive mom’ who wanted to make a book that gets tweens ‘gynies’ tingling to make money.jones’
\jonas brothers of ‘books’
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//////////Reply by chocolate
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
@tattoos, i would hate my mother for writing those books and either change my last name or pretend i had no idea who she is
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//////////Reply by we tigers
//////////Posted July 13th, 2009 at 8:46 am
@chocolate,
she would probably try to hang out with you alot.
she sees your “relevant” by reading a blog with bright colors(!) and muchos commentos
<3 mad hits.
post more things ‘relevant’.
Can we expect an ‘HRO series’ [via series' relevance]?
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Think Kristen Stewart is rlly Alt [via getting caught smoking weed twice [via WWTDD] and being mad white]
<3 her
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//////////Reply by Z
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 7:06 am
@White Blipster, coke > weed
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//////////Reply by Tuggz
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
@White Blipster,
no no no, not alt. just crack baby. girl always looks disturbed/awkward. had daddy issues
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//////////Reply by chocolate
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
@White Blipster, are you kidding me? weed is not badass whatsoever if you think its alt then you need to get out more
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//////////Reply by White Blipster
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
@chocolate, “badass”? This tells me u r a mnstrmr. I nvr sed it was “badass” – i was inferring she was an ‘alt celeb’ as no mnstrm actors rlly get caught rolling it, twisting it, lighing it up [via major and the lazers]
“you need to get out more” = mstrmr
Please stop reeding HRO
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guys have porn. girls have twilight.
no h8, y’all. only <3.
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another epic blog post, crls. like this even more than the AnCo post. wanna get my cock sucked by some teen faced vampire bro…
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Well to dispel your notions that this book appeals to only a “socially repressed female tween” demographic, I’ve spoken to at least a dozen women over the age twenty-five who eat this shit up. When asked why they read this juvenile, deforestation-causing rhetoric, the answer’s always the same: “It’s strictly a girl thing, you’d never get it.” So my guess is the central theme of this book is romance more than it is upside-down hanging vampire fucking.
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//////////Reply by Oh No, Oh My
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 4:56 am
@Panos,
I’d prefer upside down vampire fucking
[via bondage fetish]
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//////////Reply by Anonyt
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 2:16 am
@Panos, I can also point to a handful of women over 25 (just) who <3 twilight.. not sure that I really ‘take them seriously’ tho. think your interpretation of ‘tween’ is too rigid. tween is a state of mind
Would Hillary Clinton/Christine Lagarde/_________ would ‘eat this shit up’?
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//////////Reply by phydeax
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
@Anonyt, miss the days when ‘fill in the blankz yall’ led to ‘fill in da bankz yall’ [via cash $]
sometimes wish hrc was less of a ‘bitch’ so that she could have rid us of our muslim prezzy [via 3 am phone calls]
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//////////Reply by Panos
//////////Posted July 9th, 2009 at 11:12 am
@Anonyt, No i’m pretty sure “tweens” encompass the age group of 10-13. It’s not a state of mind, it’s an actual economic variable marketers use to sell shit. Annually they spend 2$ billion a year.
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Oh, Summit Entertainment. You once again manage to take on dump what was once a wonderful art source with another shitty release.
Since ‘the masses’ prefer to see shit, Summit Entertainment should release (Two Girls, One Cup) for the ‘big screen’. They would totally ‘make bank’ with that shit.
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Literature is an art and because of that its highly subjective. Twilight and every other mystery phenomena provides an outlet for critical thought. It’s the people that can’t think critically and filter what they read who should NOT be reading anything, EVER.
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//////////Reply by altbooknazi
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 8:24 am
@Middle Ground, “Twilight…provides an outlet for critical thought”
lol
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//////////Reply by Middle Ground
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 9:24 am
@altbooknazi, when you understand the origin/meaning of the word “critical”, get back to me.
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//////////Reply by doubleyou
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:45 am
@Middle Ground,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t76YW7cTaHw&feature=player_embedded
//////////Reply by altbooknazi
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 10:58 am
@Middle Ground, Twilight has not led me to analyze my own mode of thought in relation to my actions/beliefs, unless you count how it led me to believe it is crap. Therefore, it has not provided “an outlet for critical thought”.
the books author is mormon and transmits a camouflaged message if chastity, just like the mormon religion express
then, girls who cant get laid, are into this books because they love to see a history in which no one have furious hormonal teen sex, just like them.
…and, curiously, mormons banned the book :)
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//////////Reply by Shiho
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 1:56 am
@eedit, Duuude, I sadly know a bunch of mormon chicks and they all love the twilight books. Kind of sad, really. It wasn’t banned.
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According to The Stephen Kings, Meyer can’t write good.
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glad i’m not the only person completely fucking turned off by everything cobranded w this perverted dribble
twilight=for fat/lonely chicks at low reading levels
totally perplexed that the whole vampire genre is still relevant. feel like it’s pretty much been done [via anne rice]
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feel like maybe i get Carles the way crazy tweens etc ‘get’ Twilight. like he can ‘make sense’ of my confusing alt ‘world’ [via HRO] and not every1 ‘understands’ why he is so ‘funnie’. like every time i tell some ‘co-worker’ about his ‘blog’ and my ‘bloglust’ they just say something like “maybe you should leave your house/the internet/blogs more and ‘interact’ with other humans instead of anonymous ‘bloggers’/'fictional’ vampires”
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vampires have spiraling cocks that lunge for sweet saliva of pussy. i think i some sort of guilt for mainstre@m sex icons.
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think that twilite mayb tapps into the ‘lonely/fat/emo girl’ market bc the chrctrs have no real ‘personality’ or ‘personal brand’. mayb the ‘emo’ grl demographie is bc they feel they r the main girl(via kirsten stews) and are being ‘overlooked’ by the ‘hot bros’ in their lifes.
feel like they r misunderstood.
just want to be understood.
whats the biggest word used in twilite yall?
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Pattinbro : Vampires
as
Donny Osmond, et al : Rock and Roll…a sanitized version mass marketed to a mass tween audience. A constantly-renewing tween audience means that the newbies never catch on that they’re being ‘played’. And their mommies get nostalgic for what it was like to have a ‘tween crush’ and encourage for their kiddies.
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it has an xtremely lo reading lvl but that is only becuz the author is ‘fucking dumb’ and her editors ‘dont give a shit’ becuz the current gen of tweens ‘cant read neways’
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//////////Reply by emle
//////////Posted July 7th, 2009 at 9:55 pm
@LordPancreas, srsly, bro. TOO FUCKIN TROO.
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twilight is about the difficulties of ‘wanting to get laid’ whilst remaining pure. sheltered tweens unite and fantasize about having sex with an edgy alt bro who likes them for ‘who they are inside’ but still wants to ‘cum hard’ in a deep and special way.
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would give many tugs with my mouth and vag to Edward Cullen/Robert Pattinson in or out of the Twilight and honestly would care less if he killed me via fangs to the neck
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I really hate it when bros read this book to impress chicks. This one dood had 2 copies of ‘twylyt’ in his locker, and another bro would sit alone reading it at lunch.
What also makes makes me mad is how we as a culture view vampires as ‘creatures of the night’ who ‘zuck yor blood!’ and get burned in the sunlight, where Stephanie “cunt” Meyer made it so some are ‘good’ and ‘OmG sPaRkLeZzZz’ in the sun. In 50 years, will people still view vamps as the Bram Stroker version, or the Meyer “Gabbey/Abbey LG Goth/Punk ‘princess’” version?
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man, all i know is that i really want you to stop ‘doing this’ when you’re ‘talking’ about ‘anything’. you’re like a ‘fat comic book store guy’ and at this point I just really want to ’smack you in the face’ as the saying ‘goes’.
if you were to stop writing like a ‘douche’ then it’d be ‘appreciated’.
‘thanks’
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//////////Reply by Simple
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
@Luci, Probably got here by googling Twillight.
Is actually one of the fans in the 4th picture down.
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//////////Reply by Luci
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
@Simple, nah, I got here via someone I know on facebook sending me here. And having a healthy respect for the english language, and a desire to have quotation marks used sparingly, I thought I’d leave a comment. The piece itself, aside from it’s frustratingly “oh I’m so hip, look at how ironic I’m being” is pretty much on the money.
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crls,
feel like this post is “where alts adn mainstreams meet” and a lot pf ppl whpo read this post “don’t get it” [via being fat and livng in suburbs] but I still <3 u and commend you on your sociologiacl endeavors
w33d n p33n,
emle
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H8 Twilight cause kristen stewart is in it.
She needs to go back to doing movies on lifetime where she is a lonely/druggie/unwanted girl.
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//////////Reply by lykk
//////////Posted August 17th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
@Tuggz, feel like kristen stewart tries too hard to ‘be alt’ and is really just a ‘mnstrm cunt’ who ’smokes a lot of pot’ because she wants to be able to say she’s ‘into drugs’ and seem ‘interesting’ and ‘bad.’
fukn laym
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A lot of people here are true hispters (accept it with pride and shut the fuck up) seriously you’ve tried so hard to be hipsters that you have come full circle [via Anderson 360] and put yourself in the center of media marketing capitalism without knowing.
Thanks to you high school kids are riding fixies around my house with their skinny levis and fake ass “I DON’T CARE” attitude.
Thanks a lot! I’m back to wearing not so tight jeans.
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//////////Reply by lykk
//////////Posted August 17th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
@Seabass, my jeans could easily be categorizes as ‘gangsta’ and are supposed to look like i ’stole them from my boyfriend after i sucked him off.’ h8 fake alts.
just trying 2 find myself in this crazee mnstrm world y’all.
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//////////Reply by Seabass
//////////Posted August 17th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
@lykk, you’re cool
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i read the wiki entry of 1984 – george orwell. looks like a pretty significant book about the state of the nation/politics/war. i might read the real book, right after i finish reading my 23 daily blogs and social network for a couple of hours.
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//////////Reply by ohnouditnt
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 6:29 am
@jez, 198YAWN. Tick… Same with Animalia Farm – bestiality gone wild.
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lulz “sparkly vampires” yall
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is this a post about justice?
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CRLS,
can you post about postmodern literature? Trying to ‘understand’ Tommy Pynchon’s ‘Gravity’s RainBRO.’ I think it’s about psychology [via Pavlov] and philosophy [via Rilke or some shit]. they talk abt giant squids that want to fuck hawt dutch chicks, and this bro Slothrop who just wants 2 ‘put his cock in2 some tight dutch pussy’. Then there was all this shit about the extinction of the Dodos by the Dutch chick’s ancestors [miss u, obsolete animals : ( ] . NE wayz, this book is just confusing the hell out of me. it actually froze my amazon kindle 2.0 because it didn’t ‘get’ it, either. Help, plz.
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//////////Reply by eeeee
//////////Posted July 9th, 2009 at 4:31 am
@A Post-Modern Bro, i am trying to read that too but i can’t remember what each sentence is about after i finish it
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//////////Reply by willy
//////////Posted July 9th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
@eeeee,
ja i have that same dizzease
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Sparkling in the sun & playing baseball…those two things alone make me not want to touch that with a ten foot pole.
Ann Rice must be pissed about this.
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the only one worth reading is the 4th one cuz he finally actually sticks it in
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//////////Reply by Roxanne
//////////Posted July 8th, 2009 at 10:07 pm
@lil hipster girl, yeah but they dont go into much detail, kind of disappointing
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//////////Reply by lykk
//////////Posted August 17th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
@lil hipster girl, uhhh yes because of the ridikulus ‘birthing scene’ where eddy cully bites open that chick’s stomach and they start shouting about the ‘placenta.’ only part i read, and only part worth reading.
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this is possibly the best blog i have ever read ever.
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Carlos, You have to watch this movie. I think you will really love it. Really.
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twilight is a stupid overblown out craze. I don’t think vampire are capable of ‘love’. i think that they can only obsess about something instead of loving it.
the best book of all time (in my opinnion) is Gone With The Wind.
New popular book are usually a book that everyone can read and enjoy to a certin point . that means that when people say a book is ‘good’ they mean that the book didn’t make them imagine or think to hard. by ‘good’ they mean easy.
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Yo can you get black vamps? that author has huge face aswell. She looking smug too infact reminds me of that pic of that chloe ho who got a smug look but look at full pic she got dick in her poopah .
Cause i thinking this whorethur got black vamp in her.
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Carles, think u should try 2 get ‘a book deal’ and make it into a franchised series, maybe go for a ‘movie deal’ and have a ‘killer soundtrack.’
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i think twilight is about saving yourself for marriage.
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this is ’so true’ because the only girls i know that read twilight without ‘being ironic’ are ugly and mnstrm and have no ‘redeeming qualities’ and just ‘get off’ on the thought that a hot vamp would want to fuck them/ drink their blood
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For anybody who is interested in the Twilight series but doesn’t want to waste valuable hours of their lives here is an abridged version of all four books.
Edz: I <3 u but i am a ~monztar~!
Bellz: no i <3 u but i am fug n not worth u
Edz: no u r #1
Bellz: no u r #1
Edz: no u r srsly
Bellz: no i <3 u moar dan u will evar no
Ed: geez but bella im a monzda n i cud kill u but i cant cuz i <3 u
Bellz: ur nut a munsdar ur amazin. i dun no whi u <3 me im fug
Edz: no u r #1
REPEAT
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rofl @ the fat girl comment. So true. I put on a shit ton of make up before I go out and admire myself in the mirror because what I see with the perfect lighting is a smexy miss stewart or someone equivalent. Unfortunately during my outing, should someone snap a picture of me and show me the result, I recoil in instant horror. The grotesque cheeks, fat hooded eyes, the asymmetry of my eyebrows that I’ve become accustomed to from years of mirror gazing.
It sets me off on a year long journey of bulimia.
Now I check the webcam in the worst possible lighting before I go out, just to make sure I’m in tune with reality and that I don’t have more confidence than I deserve.
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