Photo via Chicago Looks
I saw this bro attending a relevant music festival, wearing an NBA basketball player’s jersey. Most mainstream bros who wear jerseys are attempting to say ‘I am a bro. I like this sport. This player is good.’ However, when an alternative person wears a sports jersey, I think that they are just using it to ’stand out’ by saying ‘Hey yall… not wearing Am Appy… wearing this jersey I know nothing about.’
I think that it is irresponsible to wear the jersey of an athlete who you know nothing about. Much like any celebrity, there is a point where an athlete no longer ’stands for himself’ and solely represents an image/brand based on the trajectory of their career. It is easy to wear a Michael Jordan jersey because he represents ‘greatness’, or a Shaq jersey, because he represents ‘twitter’, but I am unsure about wearing a Grant Hill jersey, like the bro in the above picture.
In order to understand the bro in the picture, you must understand the career path of Grant Hill, #33 on from the Detroit Pistons.
Grant Hill was an ‘All American’ athlete who played at Duke. I think that black people who go to Duke are not regarded as ‘black people’, but more of ‘black people that white people can identify with.’ I think at this point in his career, he was talented both athletically and mentally.
Grant Hill was drafted by the Pistons, and was a solid professional and a very marketable player.
So marketable that the Pistons even ‘changed their uniform design’ to reBrand around the Grant Hill era.
Sprite also built ‘huge marketing campaigns’ around him
He started to experience ’serious ankle problems’, but still signed to a ‘huge contract’ with the Orlando Magic, since Shaquille O’Neal ‘fucked them over since he wanted to be a rapper in LA.’ Grant Hill was expected to be ‘amazing’ with fellow NBA player Tracy McGrady; however, both of them just turned out to be injured bros making $100 million.
So Grant Hill never really ‘lived up to his potential’ because of injuries. He got paid a ton of money, and ‘never really panned out.’ Eventually he got older+healthier, and signed to the Phoenix Suns. This was a part of his career where he felt like he ‘missed out on what made life meaningful’, and instead of ‘trying to be a superstar, he is just trying to be a ‘mediocre role player.’
Grant Hill represents failed expectations, much like the bro in the top picture. Perhaps his parents wanted him to ‘be something more’, but a series of external factors that he could not control led him to have to ’settle/accept the fact that he is just an average bro.’ Once he admitted that he was an average bro, he was able to ‘find happiness’ and not
Feel like we could all learn a lot from Grant Hill. Maybe life is just about ’settling for less’, ‘not living up 2 ur potential’, and ‘accepting who u r.’ Sorta wish more athletes represented something like that so that innercity kids could learn more abt ‘real life.’
Might just buy this Jersey, since it represents being ‘an authentic hip hop mogul.’ Think this is what many NBA players are attempting 2 b.
Always do ur research, and learn about what a brand means. It would be like wearing a t-shirt that says ‘I <3 cock’ even if ur not ghey. Yall know what I mean?
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47 Comments
FIRST
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//////////Reply by IRONIK
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 5:44 am
check this out ya’ll
http://www.onelove.com.au/forums/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=49119&start=0
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fuck Grant Hill altbros
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love this post, carles yall
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Carles knows Sports!
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Like I totally laughed at this… even though I´m Mexican and might not get ´the whole joke´.
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//////////Reply by chong
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
@Kim, lulz mexi
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//////////Reply by Kim
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 9:58 am
@chong, I had to look for ´lulz´ on urban dictionary (awwww so latin and ignorant)
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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What would a “hehateme” jersey signify?
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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amazing post. i feel like i just learned. i feel like i just took a college course on that hill bro. maybe this is the future of education? Hipster Runoff High School.
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//////////Reply by Tyler Durden
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
@carles junior, Damn bro, you made your point
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//////////Reply by kay
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
@Tyler Durden, made me laugh
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//////////Reply by ALT MNSTRMR
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
@kay, yeah lay off on the enter key carles junior
Why do people who comment first, just comment “first”?
“wearing this jersey I know nothing about” lol I remember in the 90s when I thought it was cool to wear jerseys to school, so I was really into Fila and finding a Magic Johnson jersey, but never got around to getting one, thankfully
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//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
@M, may-b u should be a standup comedian who ‘points out’ shit and is like ‘wat’s with that?’ and every1 is like ‘yea, wat IS with that?’
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//////////Reply by brian
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
@vdieselfor20, haha
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//////////Reply by M
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 4:34 pm
@vdieselfor20, Hah…………….
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Totes h8 sports, not reading this
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//////////Reply by Phil
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 2:23 am
@May, Yeah man, HRO should nevâh write anything bout them sports. It’s not even a credidible source of indiestuff, them sporters take lots of drugz though, kinda alt exploring higher grounds.
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//////////Reply by Alter-ego
//////////Posted July 24th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
@May, thank you sports is SOOOOO MAINSTREAM!!!!
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college sportswear* = alt
pro sportswear = not alt
clothes that look like sportswear but aren’t, like that Jay-Z jersey = not alt. too ‘MTV’. sorry.
*except SEC and Big XII
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 10:43 pm
@ellipssiss, You probably brand yourself with Dashboard confessional.
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FIRST
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//////////Reply by djqualls
//////////Posted July 22nd, 2009 at 2:34 pm
@pedro, lol
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i wear my braves cap all the time now that the deer hunters have authenticized atlanta and other alts don’t assume that i’m ’some redneck’
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the real story behind this is that most hipsters are fucking useless at real sports and as an excuse they say sports are mnstrm. that is why they invented skateboarding (and hacky sac for the really useless/stoner type alt bros).
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//////////Reply by Shimano
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
most hipsters are experts at the sport of ‘fixed gear bicycle riding’. One day there will be a ‘Fixed Gear Tour de France’ and all guys wearing knee socks or jeans with one pant leg rolled up and those hats and using toe clips will come out winners.
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//////////Reply by Chrises
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 2:26 am
@Shimano,
met a guy onetime who trieed to ride his fixed gear bike from seatle to portland on the “stp”
he fucked up his knee
I wondered why.
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//////////Reply by Shimano
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 12:52 pm
@Chrises, wrong seat height, probably. That or he didn’t roll up his pant leg properly.
he probably played lots of NBA JAM as a kid
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//////////Reply by chong
//////////Posted July 20th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
@tristen, boom-shakalaka
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//////////Reply by Joshbro
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 9:10 pm
@chong, rejected!
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I like his shoes, I wanna know where to buy a copy.
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Great post. H8 bros who buy ‘authentic vintage jersies’ but dont know anything about sports. Feel like theyre trying to ‘prove a point’ or something about how they are ‘different’ than other alt-bros because they still wear ‘traditionally’ non-alt shirts. i luv my lebron james jersie, but i am ‘authentic’ because i luv the CAVS and am from ohio. h8 all the other fuckers that wear it and arent CAVS fans. ‘posers’
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GR8 POST BRO
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LAST
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Passed up on a red Shawn Bradleyford-Cox 76ers jersey at the vill the other day. Most bros know him as the head deerhunter, but DYK that he was once the #2 overall pick in the ‘93 NBA draft??
http://i.cdn.turner.com/si/2008/more/05/14/philadelphia.drought/bradley.jpg
miss u bobby hurley///’J’ Williams (via motorcycle wipeout)
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*aplogies for the double post carlos*, but it appears there is some ‘errors establishing a database connection’
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profound post.
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You can’t touch my Latrell Sprewell Golden State jersey. It signifies I am a bad ass [via choking out white, old heads]. And if you are going magic jerseys, Penny Hardaway trumps all.
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Two things:
1)Let’s not forget the international perspective on this issue. Wearing jerseys from ’sports not played in the US unless you are a girl/colored-immigrant’ is an e-z way to build up alt-cred (or at least indie-cred, there’s a subtle difference) without having to know nething about said sport because ppl in the US won’t know nething either. Unless it’s a post-nikeworlddomination soccer jersey, because Nike ruined the alt-ness of liking major soccer teams by ‘blowing up soccer’s spot’ in the US w/sponsorship & US tours.
Hence, an Umbro ManU jersey can still be authentic, but a ruud v. nistelrooy jersey just means that ‘yr mums was too uppity to let you play football/bball.’ Plus, soccer/cricket/rugby jerseys from the pre-2000s 80% of the time have collars. Compare & contrast:
http://images.teamtalk.com/09/01/800×600/Eric-Cantona-Dimitar-Berbatov_1793707.jpg
2)Ronaldo (Brazil) very well might be the greatest failed expectation of the young millennium. Went from GOAT shoe-in to trannies:
http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2008/04/ronaldo-in-hidi.html
SO CHECK THIS OUT; a Ronaldo 94′ jersey may be one of the altest sports-aesthetic garments ever forged:
http://soccernet-assets.espn.go.com/design05/images/JonMC/November%202006/ronaldo_psv-205.jpg
(Pardon my mini-post)
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//////////Reply by neednotapply
//////////Posted July 21st, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@Partyrep, isn’t soccer ‘just a silly game’ played by various poors who couldn’t know anything about altness [via no access to the web {subvia no mac stores}]?
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//////////Reply by Partyrep
//////////Posted July 23rd, 2009 at 1:24 pm
@neednotapply,
…. for the most part, yes. This is what makes it re-appropriable by alts.
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OH and for eternal/bobdylan/beatles alts there’s always the Bobby Charlton jersey:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/insideout/northeast/series11/images/week5/bobby_charlton449.jpg
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haha good stuff
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seen an altdouche fall while crowd surfing(via the nineties) wearing a mugsy bogues jersey at same festy
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Hoping this is all just part of the groundwork being laid for a sports-related “memorable post” [via Tiger Woods]
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what about that sweet mesh jersey number your older brother got at rec basketball camp in the late 80’s. still altsafe? less potentially injurious than a pro athlete’s jersey for a personal branding statement. esp. if it is kind of small because it was from your 8 y.o bro and your boobs are partially visible
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second
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bitchpork
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authentic alt-basketball fans establish their personal brand with jerseys of free-darko approved eccentrics, miscreants and/or underrated small-market players.
or these: http://cgi.ebay.com/Vtg-DETROIT-PISTONS-BAD-BOYS-nba-black-t-shirt-MEDIUM_W0QQitemZ390069201556QQcmdZViewItemQQptZVintage_Unisex_T_Shirts?hash=item5ad1efaa94&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=65%3A1|66%3A2|39%3A1|293%3A1|294%3A50
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@Chrises, wrong seat height, probably. That or he didn’t roll up his pant leg properly.
Ooops, should have said great post! Waiting on your next one!
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wtf phoenix suns go back 2 france
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I always wondered whether my Rodman jersey was alt or not.
Probably the biggest character / best role player of his era. But the Bulls were not alt.
I also have a Rod Strickland Blazers jersey which has merit because of his relative anonymity and Portlands cred.
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I know I’m 42 comments deep, but wanted to say that this post was ‘really fucking funny’. Hope for continued thoughtful analysis of ‘world class’ failures/ relative to their potential..in the future.
<3 u Detroit (via Canadian proximity)
miss u Timothy Hardway
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Totally saw this bro at Pitchfork this weekend hanging out in the VIP area with a hot chick all over him. So, you can hate on his jersey or whatevs but he’s doing something right. Hey, even Nathan Williams rocked a Bulls cap.
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carles,
this was one of your best posts in months. love when you blog about the relationship between sports and alternative culture because it’s obvious you know your shit, as most true alts do.
what saddens me is the comments. i’ve been avoiding the comments section for months just because they’ve all been so fucking stupid.
i still think your relevant carles. i really, really do. but these idiots on your comments page… it’s so disheartening.
anyway, ironic jersey thing is cool i guess. but that kid either has to get a longer pair of jeans, or some colored/patterned socks, or wear no socks at all. cause white socks are the ultimate, “i’m a fucking poser,” signal.
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i have a story about wearing a shirt that means “I <3 cock” without knowing it:
i was in was checking in to a backpackers in geneva wearing a dodgers t-shirt at 3am. the guy behind the desk was coming off his shift and approached me. he walks up with eyebrows raised and says “you like the dodgers?”
‘uh yea, i’m from l.a.’
he nods his head
“oh cool. you go to dodger stadium?”
’sure, sometimes’
he cocks his head to the side
“you go there up on the hill?”
‘…yea’ (its on a hill)
“I have a house nearby”
‘…’
“you wanna come over? i show you my house?”
‘uh, no thanks. i’m pretty tired. i just want to sleep here’
“oh ok, yea, yea its late, you tired. how about you come over in the morning?”
‘no.’
“oh. ok. have a nice trip.”
when i came back i told somebody the story. they told me that behind dodger stadium is elysian park–the backside of the hill–and that is the premier casual gay hook up spot. when the griffith park fires were happening the same friend and i went to take photos of them and drink some beers. the only vantage spot was on that hillside. used condoms and wrinkled gay porn was everywhere. it was hard to find a park because there were so many cars. most of the cars had one person in them, waiting. the weirdest part was the type of ghey bros who hung around there. they looked like mainstream sports fans with buzz cuts. some pudgy, some not. they all dressed real mainstream.
fuck that was creepy.
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This post is stoopid. He might have known all that shit you looked up on the internets. He might be from D-town. Did you care to ask? I enjoy reading everything here, but this is just such shit given that the premise of the entire post is based on the assumption that he doesn’t “know anything about” that jersey/athlete.
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