HRO is widely known as the origin of ‘the altbro.’ Back in HRO’s altbro era, readers were forced to examine what made up the essence of ‘alt’, along with the essence of ‘bro.’ Carles challenged commenters to determine whether or not the person pictured was an alt or a bro, based on his mental and physical attributes.
From a previous post:
ALT or BRO is a new HRO gimmick where readers must decided if the male person pictured is a BRO or an ALT. While we have seen many AltBros, there is a polarizing presence between true bros and true alts. Altbro is synergy, but there are many bros who are not alts, and many alts who are not bros.
Photo via COACD
Do yall think that this bro is a bro, an alt, or a pure ‘altbro’?
Please explain your response to receive a free ‘I am the CarlesBro’ t-shirt.
For example:
‘He is a streamer bc he is wearing Converse shoes.’
or
‘He is an alt bc he is wearing Converse shoes.’
or
‘He is a bro because he has muscles.’
or
‘He is the most beautiful man that Carles has ever posted.’
What do yall think he is?
Previous HRO Games
[Blipstaz or FGGTS] [AltBro or Alt Bag][Alt or Bro?][Punks OR Pokemones?][Tween Band or Pokemone Runaways?][Altbro or Altbag [butt hair edition]][AltBro or AltBGGT?][AZNbro or AZNbag?][.....all related posts....]
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85 Comments
fukkin BROOOO for sure Carles.. look at his toned muscles and properly fitting pants. he is just like sayin “hey bitches come have at me so i can stick my tiny bro pene in your vajayjay!”
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//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 9:27 am
@alexp,
The pinnacle of brovolution, “‘He is the most beautiful man Carles has ever posted’”, (via vitruvianbro/dr. manhatten aesthetics)
bet he’s got a lil blu peen tho
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//////////Reply by Alex
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
@alexp, I agree with this, indeed a bro, the jeans arent even skinny, they are BOOT CUT. Also very well kept, pubic hairz trimmed, the trail to the treasure that is coveted by black out status alt girls everywhere is non-existent. Although his facial expression is kinda like “feel like modeling sux and I dont want to wear this what is the point? what is my purpose? is this meaningful?” Maybe just a bro struggling with his inner alt and outer bro.
Do I get a shirt now?
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//////////Reply by alexp
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
@Alex
i feel that maybe his face says “the struggle iz lost, i am bro, hear me make stern face”
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//////////Reply by eric francis
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
@alexp,
+
his chris tylers are way too clean to be alt.
obviously bro.
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//////////Reply by RIch
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 11:40 pm
@alexp, i knew i saw this photo from somewhere. it’s in the new unreleased abercrombie catolog. this pic features their new jean cut called “the skinny.” they recomend you wear it with flip flops and a t-shirt with hella hollister/aberombie logos on it. totally in…blah..bro fo sho!
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//////////Reply by Craig
//////////Posted July 30th, 2009 at 10:59 am
@RIch, what are you doing looking at an Abercrombie Catalog?
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thirst
regular bro
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 12:35 am
MAN YALL ARE STUPID. MNSTRM is the new alt.
- It’s kind of ironic to wear converse because they were alt but went mainstream so they can be appropriated back to alt now.
-Being WEAK is so Gumo/Harmony Korine/ every character in a wes anderson movie. More ironic to be Vin Diesler. SO PASSE YA DUMB YOKES!
- He also is wearing some sort of ambig. tight or baggy jeans. How cliche and stream would it be if they were tight. Better to leave the dumb yokes guessing.
Also bonus points for the spiked hair which is unspiked. Totally sick.
MAN YALL ARE STUPID.
THIS KID IS ALT BEFORE HIS TIME.
B4U
MAN YALL ARE STUPID AND A BUNCH OF DUMB YOKES!
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//////////Reply by M
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 4:59 am
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK,
lol
I loved Gummo, I actually added Harmony Korine recently on MySpace
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//////////Reply by julio
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 2:42 am
he is an alien because one nipple is a different color than the other.
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hotbro
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placed
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I think he is definitely a bro because of the combination of his haircut, choice of shoes and the six pack (that looks good) but he obviously works hard for.
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muscles take effort and that isnt very alt . way more bro
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He’s definitely a mainstream bro with a 24HOURfitness membership
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//////////Reply by Kenny G
//////////Posted July 28th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
@FRANCO,
24-hour-altness
’spinning to AnCo’
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//////////Reply by kafkaBro
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 10:32 am
@Kenny G, yea its just a matter of time before muscles are alt, in the meantime lifting weights and doing plyometrics to aussie electro, of montreal, kraftwerk, and james brown (live at the Apollos yall)
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//////////Reply by Ben
//////////Posted August 3rd, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Wait… you can work out to something other than aussie electro?
<3 Cut Copy/The Presets
what in the world would make him alt?
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//////////Reply by Anaballs
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
@dnk, 6-pack implants
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I have to say that is definitely a bro, he has a hefty muscle build and a more conservative hurr style. alts don’t usually care about their hurr so much.
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bro, muscles
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alt, skinny jeanz
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//////////Reply by Mat
//////////Posted July 28th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
@second, they could be MUCH skinnier.
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//////////Reply by second
//////////Posted July 28th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
@Mat, just wanted to ‘buck the trend’ of calling him a bro/also kind of hoped for the ‘free tee shirt’
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his stance alone is bro mode
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definitely bro. streamer haircut. streamer wide leg jeans. conveys are no longer alt, more broalt. add in his the pose + stare into camera and there is nothing alt about him. very “sexy” though. makes me want a “carlesbro” tshirt.
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Clearly a future alt, the newest alt trend is going to be HGH.
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 12:37 am
@Raoul Duke, HGH = Hipster Grifter Hangouts?
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//////////Reply by d
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK, hgh= human growth hormones
it’s what baseball players took to hit lots of homeruns before the whole ’steroid scandal.’
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defintely a bro
no real alt would ‘bench press’, or ’spot someone’
alts r 2 frail (got to be frail 4 am appy)
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thats def a bro chucks used 2 b alt but every1s got like 5 pairs min even the broest of bros
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ok.
seriously an douchebro
note the new chucks
‘hot bod’
‘douche haircut’
lack of political consciousness
too easy
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//////////Reply by Alter-ego
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
@Jstn, rofl
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isn’t the answer always bro with these games?
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def a bro. but this girl rlly wishes i could ‘change him’ into an altbro, at the very lest. hawwwtie wita bodddieee. s000 hard 2 find <3 when all altbros kinda look like they have the ‘rabies’ or possibly the ‘AIDS.’
would still rather he be an AIDSbro rather than just a plain ol streamerbro.
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either iphone in pocket or is bro dik is square?
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Yo sup I think this bro was dressed by whomever he is modelin for. We will probobly never know unless u know him irl.
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//////////Reply by jacksfork
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 12:09 am
ultra bro
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//////////Reply by Professor Illbert
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 9:51 am
@jacksfork, @hippies, Überbro
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//////////Reply by dee
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 11:36 am
@Hippies, prty sure thats a test shot, and they are his own clothes.
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the choice is clear, yall
a) wt > 90lb
b) forged converses
bro.
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Tiny nipplez = Bro
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Thank god you’re doing these kind of posts again crls. What kind of hipsters would we be without having honed our skills at judging people we don’t know based solely on their appearance. Answer: pretty bad ones. Bunch a pseudo-intellectual alt-streamers if you ask me.
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converse are too clean to be alt. muscles are dead giveaway. the natural six pack=alt.
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Let’s start from the bottom up.
1. He is wearing very clean and new looking Chuck Taylor rip offs (bro posing as alt). Also, doesn’t help that they appear to be navy, alt men must always wear black.
2. His jeans are designer (looks to me like Joe’s) and way too tight and snug around his waist, meaning they should be lower. Also, they show off his very large thighs, not alt at all (very metro, maybe even ghey?)
3. 6 pack, not alt. Never will be.
4. Hair is an unnatural color, not black which can be alt, and is too un-styled (not even in the way that looks styled).
And last but certainly not least, as an overall, he is way too tan, and un-naturally so.
So in summation, this man is a bro doing a very poor impersonation of alt in my opinion.
But then again, I listed things that are alt stereotypes.
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bro. fo. sho.
he waxes his chest. and probably his face too. everything except his perfectly coifed Abercrombie guy hair do.
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Bro fr said reasons:
1. Looking at camera with genuine interest
2. Looks sorta like Joseph Gordon Levitt, but if JGL was trying out fr non-ironic sportz, not to mention lack of shirt in general. Close bt no cigar.
3. No body hair, most notably none on face
4. Perfect bro-nips
5. Looks like mom/dad paid fr/controlled haircut style, also, clearly see iPhone (so ‘08) in pocket.
6. Clean rip-off chucks w/ tongues up.
7. Tan. Bad lighting shows no knowledge of how to take picture of oneself.
Thnk I Covered all Bases.
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FGGT
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
@anonymous, yesplz
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//////////Reply by don't worry about it
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
@anonymous,
ditto.
ps sooo not goodlooking. ballerina stance? mom jeans? this isn’t targeting any genre. it’s just weird. like some 48 yr old photog thought he was being hip.
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//////////Reply by idk
//////////Posted July 30th, 2009 at 11:15 am
@anonymous,
homobrosexual
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bro. bc of the non-skinnies. theyre def BOOTCUTZ
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Pecs + abs =/= alt
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first thing i thought was ‘mnstrmbro bc of converse’
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alt. he is unquestionably an express model.
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Crombie.
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he is an altbro cauz he has muscles but they are implants.
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alt
clear twink, therefore alt – gays not mainstream apart from in Greece and most parts of Italy, where he would be bro.
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
@brett, clear twink? gtfo.
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//////////Reply by brett
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
@jjj,
OK, mayb only gay for pay, but either way that’s still alt as the third key from the left on my unibody Macbook pro
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He is a mainstreamer because of the typical mainstream muscled and smooth body. Plus he looks like a model in some kind of way. And models do photoshoots where they have to pretend to be someone else. So I suppose this guy is pretending that he is Alt on this pic. but he fails miserably because of the expression on his face.
These Converse shoes are supposed to make him very very Alt. So wrong, because being shirtless and wearing Converse is pure bullshit, real Alts don’t do this shit.
and his pants are just WRONG.
It’s a BRO.
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allbro on the top half
& allalt on the bottom half.
the answer is obvious.
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maybe alt in europe/internationalt/euroalt,
or bro who has just learned that alt girls put out more,
or alt who wants to be able to fight someone.
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//////////Reply by johannahfrances
//////////Posted July 30th, 2009 at 11:03 am
@ir bro, haha. bro who has just learned alt girls put out more
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That’s James Francbro.
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//////////Reply by cat
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 10:03 am
@Johnson, that made me laugh!
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He can’t possibly be a pure AltBro ’cause we have no way of knowing if he passes any of the tests for true AltBro-Hood seen here: http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/11/what-makes-a-true-altbro.html
That said, he isn’t pale or thin or mutton-chopped enough to be a stereotypical alt. As a result, I’m inclined to believe this guy’s a bro, plain and simple.
P.S. My inner gay says he’s definitely the most beautiful man that Carles has ever posted. For srs, y’all.
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In case you people haven’t figured this out yet, the answer to every single one of these “alt or bro” things is “he’s gay”.
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HAWT, ghey or str8.
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Trick question. He is not an alt or a bro. He is flotsam.
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Trick question. He is not an alt or a bro. He is flotsam.
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only other suggestion I can come up w/ iz Altbrocrombie
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FAKE CONVERSE
Fitting Jeans (not 2 skinny)
WAR STANCE
_____________
BRO
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he is a Alt with an advanced personal brand, bc his bod is smooth n curvy + white thus replicating all ur chill Apple products.
possibly an ‘iAlt’
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alts who are not bros = alts who are chicks.
all bros are bros, bro
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AltTwink-Core bro. On the interlocking spectrums of altness v. broness crossed with fggtness v. strtness, he arrives high for fggt points but towards the middle in the bro category. If not for the twink correlation, he would skew bro, but as it hppns, bro is alt.
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
@brooklynfreegan,
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twink
gay cutlure terminology fail.
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//////////Reply by brooklynfreegan
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
@jjj, wut? gay cltr trmnlgy win!
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
@brooklynfreegan, twink /= muscle. see: nearly pre-pubescent.
bro. average looking haircut, properly fitting pants, muscles, taking a picture of himself without a shirt of to show off his muscles.
There is a strange look in his eyes that I cant put in words that makes me think he might be an alt hiding in a bros body.
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bro. looks like he got those jeans at Sears.
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trick question- he is neither alt nor bro. he is clearly a hybrid alien who comes from a planet with no shirts. The use of converse shoes is merely a ruse to try & break into the social norms of today. like, duh guys.
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he is mnstrmr bcuz he shaved above teh peen. ty, ty.
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he is clearly a “brobag”
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so bro
so smooth
so muscularly defined I could do ollies with my fingerboard on his 6 pack
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiQc7TkkTxA&feature=fvw
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eurotrashbro, due to weird european knock off converse [probably paid $$ for them] – no black stripe = not converse.
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Definitely Alt. His muscles and tight jeans are an ironic statement about American popular culture and it’s obsession with this form of ‘beauty.’
Also his nipples are 2 small 2b bro.
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well,which eastern european country is he from?? does he hang with other immigrant bros at the polski music store or is the only guy in his art crew with an accent??
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mainstream=alt via irony proof:
i was at a thrash show the other night where they were playing Ushers “Nice and Slow”
Its such a niched scene, everyone knows everyone. Who were they being ironic for?
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Bro who thinks he’s all edgy and alt with his *converse.*
Deff bro… I bet he owns some ed hardy… not ironically.
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buddyhead is shit
deerhunter is shit
alternative media playing favoritism [via laweekly + larecord]
is shit.
[un]cool dads
h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8hh88
burn all museums
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//////////Reply by monster
//////////Posted July 29th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
@daffy, Ur prbly a Marilyn Manson fan
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//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted July 30th, 2009 at 11:08 am
@monster, entry lvl reading comprehension fail
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how bout sum altslut or strmslut posts already
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He is a bro bc he looks like he belongs in an underwear ad.
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alt because his legs are 2 times as long as his torso
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LOOKS LIKE I BRO I KNOW.
A GHEY BRO WHO THINKS HE’S ALT.
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BRO FA SHO.
Prolly one a those bros who grows up amongst other bros who are forced to conform at an early age. Most likely went to prep school for all boys, but felt like he wasn’t like all the other bro clones.
So one day he says, ‘Fuck off’ to his polo popped colla sporting friends and shocks everyone by exchanging his Burkenstock/DocMartins for converse.
He is a bro who thinks he is an alt. He is an alt compared to his bro-bag peers. But not an alt or even altbro compared to alts who have grown up always knowing that they would one day embarrass their kids/spouse with pictures of their youth-altness.
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Bro
-hair
-musclez, he worked out while i listened 2 anco
-expression, too harsh not emotional
-just has bad bro style for a bro
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hes def a bro bc he has muscles and bootcutss.
kinda agree with dimepieces tho.
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DEFNIT ALT B/C ONLY FAGS WHERE TYTE PANTS LOL
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I believe that he is actually BEING a bro in order to BE alt! This is apparent in the way that he dresses “comfortably”, appears “confident” and is “in shape” while still not looking like a giant asshole.
The jeans are a perfect example of this, as they are fitted but not quite skinny. His converse are quite clean, which in years past was more of the hip hop style (via west coast gang culture) but in this case just indicates that he likes to ‘take care’ of his stuff.
The mainstream shoes and pants TOGETHER is practically a big middle finger to the style of all alts. He’s all like “I won’t wear pants that squish my balls just cause it’s cool. I’m so confident that I don’t even NEED to be cool.” His personal brand is disavowing culture and being hip/square (via Huey Lewis).
Is this the new trend? Will comfort outpace style and lead to mass investment in Lands End? Will office day jobs replace authentic bro-chilling jobs like the thrift store / food co-op?
Is this the beginning of the altpocalypse?!
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he is an alt but his dad is a gym junkie/sports football coach and so he never really had a chance from the start.
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bro in alty jeans. srsly have u evar seen an alt or even a altbro with tummy muscles like that? let’s face facts here. this bro is a bro, he noez it too, but the dead look behind his eyez sez… ‘wish i was alt. think ppl will mistake me 4 alt if i wear these jeans, these converse, and in a bizarre twist of fate crls notices me.’
it is sadbro.
may i have my crls tshirt now plz?
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//////////Reply by carolina
//////////Posted July 30th, 2009 at 2:55 am
[because i'm so super alt.]
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bro going to dress up parrty’ as alt (he’ll take over the stereo & play the mgms at lest 9 times during the night, maybe even let an alt girl put face paint on him).
his costume fails bc:
- no beergut
- jeans & shoes too neat/clean/just bought by m+d
- jeans not skinny
- looks to interested in appearance in photo
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kinda looks like rick astleyBro ‘never gonna give you up yall’
ALT
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I don’t know if the guy is a bro or an alt. And frankly I don’t think it really matters. Because the perpetual cultural disdain that he brings into my soul, via alt or bro?, is better than either category of Modern Man — alt or bro.
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just a confused bro
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looox like they phtoshopped out the whheelbarrow in his hands
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carles is gay
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yall jus hataz
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This fGGt is totally more bro than alt, wtf bootcut pants? what is this 2002? Also I feel that muscles are out of style, you don’t need chest muscles to ride a fixie or drink pbr.
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he’s alt bc of weird nipple position
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Bro because he has big hips
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alt bros don’t wear clean looking converse
theres are dirty & have an aged grunge look
he’s a total bro but he has potential to be an alt bro
if he wore some plaid lost some weight an grew out his hair
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idk he could be alt it prob depends on the cigs hes hiding in the front pocket (unless thats a sneaky ass shadow or somethin)
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