Photo by the StyleShark
Yesterday, I used my Palestinian scarf for something functional. I was attending a large outdoor concert, and I had to urinate. I had to walk to the edge of the property in order to use the portable restrooms that were provided by the festival promoters. As I approached ‘the facilities,’ I could smell something ’sterile’ but also something ‘incredibly disgusting.’ As if I was standing on the sidelines of a battle between the pungent smell of poo and the cleaning agents that people poo and pee into within portapotties. I covered my nose and mouth with my alternative scarf, as if I was ‘actually in the Middle East’, and there was a ‘massive sandstorm’/fire fight with American troops.
I walked into the portable restroom, and I saw a urinal to the left which had a pipe connecting to the large pool of waste below the toilet seat. I peered down the toilet seat and saw a mountain of feces with a blue tint, matching the royal, synthetic colour of the simulated toilet water. I attempted to hold my breath, but my body’s natural desire for air caused me to take in an intense ‘whiff’ of the excrement of several hundred people. For a moment, I felt like I wanted to vomit, but then I realized that there was beauty in this metabolic breakdown of your body’s essential needs. Found beauty in the fact that while I usually ’see people eating’ and bond with humanity while sharing feasts…for once I was able to share with ‘what comes out of humans.’ As if I realized that eating was just a means to this end–pooping.
I looked down at the huge pile of shit stewed with urine, and admired it. For the first time in my life, I felt ‘not alone.’ I feel like I truly understood that maybe we’re all the same. We all eat, we all feel like children, and we all have to poop. A warm smile came over me, as I decided to ‘drop a few pieces of love’ on top of this pile of humanity. The logs creamed out of my ass hole, as if God had opened up a trendy frozen yogurt shop–no wiping necessary–a clean breakoff executed by my contracting anus. I got up, and saw my two distinct logs piled on top of the blueish brown mound of feces. I paused for a moment, then watched the blue water creep up and tint my defecation. I felt like I was a part of something bigger than myself.
I had a little bit more to urinate, so I decided to move around a used-tampon utilizing the force of my urine stream. It floated around somewhat aimlessly until it settled within the mound of feces. It was as if it found its home. It was as if I found my home. I zipped up my pants, took one last look at ‘authentic beauty’ and exited the portapotty, most likely never to come back again. It made me happy and sad at the same time–much like 90% of life’s most meaningful experiences.
On the way home, I saw some portable toilets being transported to what I could only assume was a large music or cultural festival.
It made me feel a little bit better about life. I hoped that some1 else was able to find the beauty that I found when I shared a unique experience with hundreds of people inside of a portable restroom unit.
Sometimes, it seems like ur looking for beauty in all of the wrong places.
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IAmCarles.com
31 Comments
first w/o rss reader
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//////////Reply by whut
//////////Posted August 30th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
@HDSKJHKJASD,
fuck you god damnit just once can i get the first
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first also this was horrendus hahah
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bro, that was so beautiful i just shit a tear
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bro, that was so beautiful i just cried a poop
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//////////Reply by Alex
//////////Posted August 30th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
@alex, I have a better name than you do. Also how does one “cry a poop”? That is nonsensical. Trying too hard.
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//////////Reply by alex
//////////Posted August 30th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
@Alex, YDSWIDT
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//////////Reply by Alex
//////////Posted August 31st, 2009 at 12:25 am
@alex, no I do not c whut u did.
first
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i prefer these ridiculous reflections on life over the posts that talk about how alt you one is.
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sucks when carles goes through these creative dry spells
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hmm feel like taking a shit outdoors on the street.
will report back on how this goes.
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//////////Reply by altBro
//////////Posted August 30th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
@altBro, no-one was around so now there is just my shit on the street. i can see it out the window. i hope a car drives over it so i can rid myself of this shame.
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hahahahahahhahahahahahahahaahhaahhahahahahahahahahahaha carles, this was actually too funny
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why isn’t there a pic of the poop?
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was expecting some lnp style portapotty pics… sorely disappointed.
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//////////Reply by ok ok
//////////Posted August 31st, 2009 at 12:13 am
@a, right?
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Can you recollect the post about outdoor pissing (2k8.5)? Feel like outdoor toileting and port-a-potties are rlly authentic – feel I don’t have to escape society to “do my business”; feel society needs to be liberated from bathroom taboos. Outdoor toileting will be big in 2k10 (via the perpetual release of repressed inhibitions bottled up from 2k1.1-2k9.1). Feel once public toileting becomes mnstrm, I will have to use the toilet solely in the privacy of my own alt-abode.
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…
Maybe we should abolish the sewage system and let our collective humanity flow through the streets like they once did for everyone to admire and sniff. What a glorious moment in the history of man that would be.
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that truck carrying the shitters is traveling on US75 in Dallas, Tx. ive never felt so close to you. i can smell your shit, too. did you eat mexican yesterday?
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Carles got poop jokes
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hardy har har har har har har..
……1st.
Carles, feel like U just pulled this p0st 0ut of ur Ass along with that ’stylish non-fat artificial fro-yo joint’
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Yo carles sup this post pwns and so does the anco one.
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Definitely liked this
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Fuck all the sarcasm and irony. This post was nasty.
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i dont know if i want my brand mixing with people who use port-a-potties brand
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HA! Wonderful post!
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luv when carles talks abt things coming out of his contracting anus
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this post is a true ode to slack, bless you carles
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poo humour?
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beautiful.
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this made my eyes urinate.
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Love that the last photo was taken approx 4.5 miles away from my modern, yet vintage industrial loft in an increasingly gentrified area of Dallas.
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Clearly missed out on the ‘there’s beauty in the breakdown’ [via frou frou] [via garden state ost] reference. Not sure you are really that connected to alt culture n e more.
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US-75
heeeeeeeyyyy
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fuuuuuck carles.. my panties are soo creamed right now!
mmmoar please sir.
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want a job? you obviously love toilets. we have 14,000 you could look into!
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