Photo by the cobrasnake

I saw you walk by me. You pretended not to see me so that you didn't have to talk to me. I understand. I hate having to deal with you, as well. Sometimes I half-heartedly make a pitch, attempting to sell you phone service/Direct TV/TimeWarnerCable/any other sort of service that you are not interested in. It fails 99% of the time. People run away from me. I am trying to sell you something. This is my job.

You are not interested in listening to me. I am just a bro, sitting at a table, wearing a polo shirt that is branded with my company. My job does not pay well. I am paid [via commission]. I have made 2 sales in 6 months.

Do u want to sign up? It's really a great service. I could tell you all about it. Are you interested in listening to me? You are not interested in me, nor are you interested in the product I represent. You are already satisfied with your service.

Maybe if I look 'pathetic' enough, you will sign up, after feeling bad for me. I am not sure if members of the opposite sex find me to 'not be very attractive' since I look like a 'tool.' Just want you to feel guilty. You did not come to this location to sign up for my company's service--you came for an entirely different reason. There is no way you will purchase this service from me.

I am a bro. I lurk around a table for my company, trying to increase sales + brand awareness. My regional manager sends me to the worst locations. She is always pressuring me to 'talk to more people.' She doesn't understand. I will never make a sale at the places she sends me to. I am embarrassed. I hope that no1 I know sees me. Wearing this stupid polo shirt. I will pretend to 'text' the entire time I am here. I will look disinterested and unapproachable. Some1 will come up to me who already has our cable service, and ask us why their ESPN channel is 'blurry.' I will tell them to contact technical support. This is my only contribution to the company today.

I am an adult. It seems like I always thought I would have a better job than this when I grew up. I will convince myself that I am 'starting at ground 0', and 'moving up the corporate ladder.'

I am a bro.
Sitting at a table
making a difference
Representing a brand.

Do u want 2 sign up for Comcast/Time Warner/tMobile/Sprint/a credit card with a 'generous' 'rewards program'?

I am sitting at a table.
This is my job.
I am going to send another text message.

This is me 2 hours later.

In 2 minutes I will close. I am about to close up for the day and go home. I will stop at Quizno's and get a sandwich.

This is me tomorrow. I am sitting at a table. I carry around the branded table cloth in my car.

I am employed. This bro is me. Do you want to sign up? You will receive a seat cushion if you sign up.

How about if I just give you this informational handout and my business card, and you can call me if you're interested.

Do you want to sign up?

Please do me a favor and just don't make eye contact if you're not interested in signing up.

I am a vessel of brand awareness. My personal brand has been outsourced.