Hey yall. I am just working on ‘branding’ a post which will be a ‘list’ of the best music ever made. Does this seem ‘too over the top’?
I am not sure how to confidently state that I am ‘100% certain’ that my list is a compilation of the truly best songs ever created. I know deep down in my heart, that I was put on this Earth to become the ‘Savior of Music Criticism in the Internet Era’, and this means that I have a responsibility to nullify the work of artists in the pre-internet era, and ‘give mad props’ to internet-centric indie artists. It seems like I really just need to let the world know ‘what’s up’ and sort everything out.
I am working hard on the tone for this post. It seems like I want it to be ‘hard hitting journalism’ with a mix of ‘blog snark’ and possibly a tone that is ’serious and formal’ sort of like a wikipedia entry. I feel like if I make this post ‘relevant’ enough, it will make music magazines irrelevant. It will change the music industry, and artists will get exposure, and they will get paid for all of the right reasons. The scene will unite, and we will support eachother instead of ‘hating on shit’ just to get pageviews and ad revenue. We will build a better tomorrow for our children, because one day they will listen to music, and they will read our internet lists, and they will follow our example. We are role models–we must be leaders. We can’t be afraid to embrace social and historical responsibilities.
This is our generation. This is what is important to us. This is our time. We must define ourselves by defining the best music because mp3s define who u r [via iPod].
Should I list a bunch of ‘indie’ music in my list?
Are ‘rappers’ really worth including on this list [via Equal Opportunity Indie Coverage]?
How many gigs of music do u own?
Have u ever thought about making a list and sharing it with the world?
Do u know any ‘chill sponsors’ 4 ‘huge lists of shit’?
What is the best mp3 of the last 2000 years?
Do u believe in concepts like ‘time’ and ‘lists’?
Is it impossible to determine the ‘best’ mp3 ever, or do u honestly believe that there is a ‘correct answer’ within ur heart/soul/brain?
‘I honestly believe I have the best taste in music in the world.’
-every1
‘I just like to enjoy music without judging it or thinking about why I like it 2 much.’
-every1 trying 2 pretend they are not an ass hole
‘Have u heard of Animal Collective?’
-some bro
‘Have u heard of of Daughtry?’
-a real bro
‘Do u like my leather wrist band?’
-Daughtry when he goes home for Thanks giving
‘What r u having for lunch?’
-people in the office, right before 12 noon
‘I just brought my lunch.’
-office worker who doesn’t want to eat lunch in a group setting with sad coworkers
‘I save a lot of money by bringing my lunch every day.’
-some ass hole who brings his/her lunch every day
‘What’s ur favourite band?’
-trying to ‘connect’ with some1
‘______________’ (disappointing answer that leaves u feeling sad about what ‘real people’ listen to)
-a real person being realer than u will ever be
‘i have something 2 say.’
-a person who starts a lil blog site
‘I am interesting’
-every1
‘I am boring.’
-depressed person/person trying to ’seem interesting’ by ’saying they are boring.’
‘I wrote the best song of the past 2000 years.’
-Wyn Butler/Noah Lennox/Edward Droste/John Lennon/Boy George/Michael Jackson/the guy from Linkin Park
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33 Comments
fist
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furst
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E-phant song AFX
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h8 lists. 2 mnstrm. 2 me they imply importance and sh1t.
do not want.
dear carles, maybe try 2000 relevant mp3s in some unorganized ‘thought bubble’ format
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
@JT, exactly. most of that music you’ll never care about much less listen to. and then there are the obligatory listings that mattered but your basically over.
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I can only <3/h8/miss u Crls. Fully support u in this new endeavour 2 save music/the world/our future children.
(Just a lil worried bout puttin too much pressure on ur shoulders)
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decade lists are so clichè and everyone’s frantically making them it seems.
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I have over 80 gigs of music because everytime Pitchfrk mentions a band I haven’t hurd of I instantly download their discography…and every time carles mentions a band I scoff as I delete that discography because they have become too ‘relevant’ of a band for me to use them to increase my ‘personal brand’ reputation
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
@cantoxiv, what’s this pitchfork thing?
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‘I just like to enjoy music without judging it or thinking about why I like it 2 much.’
-every1 trying 2 pretend they are not an ass hole
totally epic bro
carles with a good post.
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//////////Reply by chilichow
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 12:39 am
@al x, ‘What’s ur favourite band?’
-trying to ‘connect’ with some1
‘______________’ (disappointing answer that leaves u feeling sad about what ‘real people’ listen to)
-a real person being realer than u will ever be
that’s the best part
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
@chilichow, oh how cleaver you are. because I’m ’so real’ i’ll respond rather than ignoring you. MY answer leaves me sad about what others listen to but yours would not.
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//////////Reply by chilichow
//////////Posted August 26th, 2009 at 2:30 am
@anony, no hate, just adding to the funnies. ppl who read hro must listen to at least some remotely good musics.
first good post in awhile, crlsbro
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//////////Reply by tam lin
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
@chris carlisle, holla
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what if ‘you’ picked the greatest song of the last 2000 yrs and then let itunes ‘genius’ select the rest?
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//////////Reply by harald
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
nvrmind. i just tried it and ‘mmmbop’ keeps makin’ the top 20.
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DEADMAU5- ‘for lack of a better name’ ULTRA DEADMAU5 PROMOTIONS///////
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//////////Reply by clarence
//////////Posted August 27th, 2009 at 5:47 am
@noisebot, msnstrm as. i herd this “kulb bangr” on commercial television. i am dissapoint.
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‘everybody hurts’ by the michael stipes
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y0 i read 1/3 of this post and had a few lols so maybe carles is getting back on track yay (a feeble ‘yay’ but with a glimmer of true hope)
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“out of kape kod” — vampyre weeked
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//////////Reply by April Anova
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 10:13 am
@cheree, FAIL!!!!!!!!
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not sure if im stoked or just praying that this is a joke
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I just want to thank you CRLS. You taught me that typed words can be hilarious. Growing up I spent twelve years of my life without broadband and those 12 years without the Internet taught me that humor comes from ppl interacting with you in the matrix, comedy central, network tv, and premium cable channels like the hbos. My librarian mother tried to get me to enjoy some humorous books. I remember thinking that no funny book can compete with chris rock standup. The daily shows made book that was pretty funni, but your blog makes me laugh out loud. Like I’m in the back of the rents minivan coming home from vacation reading your blog on my dad’s iPhone and I was laughing out loud and the parents and grand parents asked me what was so funni.
HRO so funni parents just don’t understand
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this is first post i liked ‘in a while’
wlcm bck crls?
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Who is the beautiful girlie with the headphones? I want to morry her! No lie
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//////////Reply by harald
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
@Montell Williams, that’s Doughtry. she’s from ’so u think u can dance party’
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//////////Reply by uh
//////////Posted August 27th, 2009 at 6:20 am
@Montell Williams, she’s from the urbn outfitters website
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“The 2000 best MP3’s since our Lord Savior Jesus Christ died 4 our sins”
made me lol
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Jus Sprayed a lotta Buckshot into P4K
B.o.b. changed 0 lives
Too fast too even fck 2
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//////////Reply by gnar sesh
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
@fullscale008, ya very tru
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Shakira’s She-wolf is the best mp3 since Jeus died.
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//////////Reply by Alex
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
@Herpesterrunnoff, So fucking true. Also best music vid of 2k9.
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//////////Reply by Brandon Ulrich
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 10:11 am
@Herpesterrunnoff, awooo
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//////////Reply by April Anova
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 10:15 am
@Brandon Ulrich, LOL Now I want you inside me
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//////////Reply by Brandon Ulrich
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 10:34 am
@April Anova, mayb we can go down to ‘jamrock’ and have ‘oral sex’ [via damianmarleyrasta69 and dnk]?
rick astley – never gonna give you up
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//////////Reply by Manbearpig
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 5:57 am
@Al gore, are you cereal?
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How many gigs of music do u own?
~200
Have u ever thought about making a list and sharing it with the world?
no.
Do u know any ‘chill sponsors’ 4 ‘huge lists of shit’?
scion will sponsor anything.
What is the best mp3 of the last 2000 years?
waiting for your call. duh.
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I want to share my music with the world (via ~63 gigs of all things meaningfulcore).
The best mp3 I have is Sunday Morning by Beck (via Beck’s Record Club). Apparently Beck is still a relevant bro, as I heard that song at AmAppy today.
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Gimmick yawn
why 2000 y don’t u do 10000 songs
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let’s just face the facts. no-one listens/likes/has heard of ‘b.o.b.’ by “outkast”
he apologized to ms jackson and fucked off
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//////////Reply by xavier
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
@altBro,
wha??
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//////////Reply by gfysd
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
@altBro, you are a liar and a retard.
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plz do this [via podcast]. i miss yr podcasts
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//////////Reply by Mari
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
@jesse, there was more than one?
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Haha! Another great post! I checked out pitchforkmedia.com — what a lot of people were talking about — and it’s true that they seem to be overcompensating for something by posting so many lists ;)
I would love see Carles’ favorite bands, as well as everyone else’s, and see how many I have in common with all you guys!
And to the poster who goes by ‘Hmm,’ don’t bother responding and calling me troll, because I stopped listening after you proved yourself a troll by instantly judging me and my whole identity by two bands I mentioned I like.
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//////////Reply by dnk
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
@DamianMarleyRasta69,
i dont believe a word u say i think u r FAKE
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//////////Reply by DamianMarleyRasta69
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
@dnk, No worries, you live your life and I’ll live mine.
P.S. I think you are cute. And I can spell. ;)
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//////////Reply by dnk
//////////Posted August 24th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
@DamianMarleyRasta69,
Really, you think that I am cute? That’s so kind of you! And you can spell, too! I think you and I are perfect for each other… you can teach me how to spell, and I can be cute for you.
I noticed in your name that you like Damian Marley and that you also like to 69. That’s a marvelous coincidence – there is nothing I like more than oral sex in jamrock. Hit me up sometime!
:-*
//////////Reply by altina
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 2:47 am
@dnk, LOL
//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
@DamianMarleyRasta69, We’ll also know that since you can spell that you are far better than anyone else here. It’s well known that everything of importance in the history of the world was done only by those who could figure out how to spell a sentence no mater how inane it was.
//////////Reply by DamianMarleyRasta69
//////////Posted August 25th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
@anony,
You got me.
P.S. You spelled “matter” wrong. ;)
“It always comes and goes, but it never floods /
Something always comes, something always goes.”
//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted August 30th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
@DamianMarleyRasta69, <3 u
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‘Do u like my leather wrist band?’
-Daughtry when he goes home for Thanks giving
–Also h8 ‘the influx’ of fggts on hro c. Jan’09′
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i have never heard of this ‘animal collective’. does that make me a ‘real bro’ or just a ‘bro’?
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Want to put DeadCabs4Keutie in my list. Is it still authentic 2 like them?
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where did the girl in the pic get the headphones? i want.
-xoxo-mae-
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:’(
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