Hey yall. In an effort to become more of a 'music blog' again, I will attempt to do more album reviews. I will find relevant albums, and review them using creative words, images, and metaphors. I will tell you how the album makes me feel. Sometimes when there is not an album to review, I will review a different product, but still call it an 'album review.'


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Artist: Nissan
Album: The Cube
Rating: 3.5 out of 10 runoffs

Recently, I was involved in an auto accident when a minority 'slammed' into my car. Fortunately, I was safe, and I have a solid insurance plan with a $100 deductible. While my car was being repaired, I was able to obtain a rental from Enterprise Rent-A-Car (paid for by my insurance company).

The people at the rentacar were very nice. Seemed like bros who were 'under a lot of stress' [via multitasking], but ultimately trying to build a better career for themselves by being excellent human representations of the overall corporate vision.

They put me into a new car called 'The Nissan Cube.' I had seen several cars that seemed like cubes driving around the high way, and always thought to myself 'what kind of ass hole would buy a lil box car?' Then I realized that I should not 'diss' Scion cars because Scion is usually a sponsor of alternative websites, parties, and events.

Walked out to the parking lot, got into 'the Cube.' Thought to myself 'Jesus Christ.'

Seemed 'more spacious than I thought.' Sound system 'blew balls'--couldn't jam rap/music made by bros from California.

Couldn't believe I was in a box car. Jesus Christ.

Can't believe I'm in a box car. Felt like I was in the demographic of 'people who bought cars that were lil box cars.' People who 'drove to the coast' with friends with surfboards on top of the car, or something. Seems like I wanted people to think that I was 'kewl' sort of like when an entry level person takes out a white macbook in a coffee shop.

Driving the cube around, people looking at me as I drive by, possibly thinking 'what an ugly car.' Felt self-conscious.

Not sure who designed the Cube. Seems like a radically innovative design, targeted at a specific demographic. Not sure if the design was 'functional' or 'stupid.' I was driving in a Cube. Pre-programmed radio stations, listening to rap, soft rock, Top 40 radio stations. Considered burning a bloghouse CD to put in the CD player.

I felt 'different' in the Cube, but maybe not in a good way. Felt like a Hot Topic California teenAlt who got her first car which was 'more affordable' than most of her dream cars.

Wonder if a Cube driver would feel better if the car was a 'hybrid.' It is possibly a gas guzzler, or more inefficient than u realize.

Cube.
Feeling like a fggt
in a lil cube car.
Jesus Christ.
Is this really me?
Is this really me?
Am I in a cube?
Do I like this car?
Is this car 'trying too hard' 2 be 'me'?
Do people 'actually buy' this car bc it is their dream car?
Should a car represent 'me'?
Should I buy a Scion?
Or a Honda element?
Or some other lil box car?
Not sure who box cars are for.
Not sure if I would 'pan' this car in an album review
or if I would 'hype it up.'
Just want to explain how the world works
in album review formats.
Wonder what a perfectly designed automobile would look like.

This was an album review by Carles.