Hey yall. In an effort to become more of a ‘music blog’ again, I will attempt to do more album reviews. I will find relevant albums, and review them using creative words, images, and metaphors. I will tell you how the album makes me feel. Sometimes when there is not an album to review, I will review a different product, but still call it an ‘album review.’
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Artist: Nissan
Album: The Cube
Rating: 3.5 out of 10 runoffs
Recently, I was involved in an auto accident when a minority ’slammed’ into my car. Fortunately, I was safe, and I have a solid insurance plan with a $100 deductible. While my car was being repaired, I was able to obtain a rental from Enterprise Rent-A-Car (paid for by my insurance company).
The people at the rentacar were very nice. Seemed like bros who were ‘under a lot of stress’ [via multitasking], but ultimately trying to build a better career for themselves by being excellent human representations of the overall corporate vision.
They put me into a new car called ‘The Nissan Cube.’ I had seen several cars that seemed like cubes driving around the high way, and always thought to myself ‘what kind of ass hole would buy a lil box car?’ Then I realized that I should not ‘diss’ Scion cars because Scion is usually a sponsor of alternative websites, parties, and events.
Walked out to the parking lot, got into ‘the Cube.’ Thought to myself ‘Jesus Christ.’
Seemed ‘more spacious than I thought.’ Sound system ‘blew balls’–couldn’t jam rap/music made by bros from California.
Couldn’t believe I was in a box car. Jesus Christ.
Can’t believe I’m in a box car. Felt like I was in the demographic of ‘people who bought cars that were lil box cars.’ People who ‘drove to the coast’ with friends with surfboards on top of the car, or something. Seems like I wanted people to think that I was ‘kewl’ sort of like when an entry level person takes out a white macbook in a coffee shop.
Driving the cube around, people looking at me as I drive by, possibly thinking ‘what an ugly car.’ Felt self-conscious.
Not sure who designed the Cube. Seems like a radically innovative design, targeted at a specific demographic. Not sure if the design was ‘functional’ or ’stupid.’ I was driving in a Cube. Pre-programmed radio stations, listening to rap, soft rock, Top 40 radio stations. Considered burning a bloghouse CD to put in the CD player.
I felt ‘different’ in the Cube, but maybe not in a good way. Felt like a Hot Topic California teenAlt who got her first car which was ‘more affordable’ than most of her dream cars.
Wonder if a Cube driver would feel better if the car was a ‘hybrid.’ It is possibly a gas guzzler, or more inefficient than u realize.
Cube.
Feeling like a fggt
in a lil cube car.
Jesus Christ.
Is this really me?
Is this really me?
Am I in a cube?
Do I like this car?
Is this car ‘trying too hard’ 2 be ‘me’?
Do people ‘actually buy’ this car bc it is their dream car?
Should a car represent ‘me’?
Should I buy a Scion?
Or a Honda element?
Or some other lil box car?
Not sure who box cars are for.
Not sure if I would ‘pan’ this car in an album review
or if I would ‘hype it up.’
Just want to explain how the world works
in album review formats.
Wonder what a perfectly designed automobile would look like.
This was an album review by Carles.
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IAmCarles.com
30 Comments
justice’s 2nd album leaked?
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//////////Reply by XavierDeRosnay
//////////Posted September 9th, 2009 at 7:42 am
@Patrick,
liar
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cube
dick
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miss u lego
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//////////Reply by weston james
//////////Posted September 8th, 2009 at 10:20 pm
did it suck?
or were you worrying about it sucking the whole time?
not a dis.
i kinda wanted to try one out.
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forget albums, i think you should review more mainstream commodities in the future. poem at the end was a nice touch.
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cars aren’t very ‘relevant to my life’ b/c i live in a city with buses and the metro. i also failed my driver’s test & never tried to get my driver’s license again.
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//////////Reply by le CEECEE
//////////Posted September 9th, 2009 at 12:12 am
@jvac, same here!
and i ride my fixie
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I HEART CRLSSSSSSSSSSSS…. PLEASE POST MO-BANGERZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BRAH
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think these cars r 4 people who are hypoallergenic
or maybe families with autistic children
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no1 wants to read what n e of us can be funny about. every1 already knos the cube is for the irrelevant/easy targets
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//////////Reply by rubik's
//////////Posted September 8th, 2009 at 11:05 pm
@bbbbb, do your parents drive 1?
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mybe this car is for miracle whip
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//////////Reply by altwizard
//////////Posted September 8th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
@mk, no that is why you would push a mayonnaise-coloured The Bends
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ur drivin n iPod
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thanx crls!!! <3
is the nissan cube reasonably priced on Apple iCars?
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good post
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any1 wna link me to a rapidshare? cant find this album newhere
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carles do you ever sometimes consider replying to some comments
carles feeling like i’m missing barbaro like i miss heath……
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You are not what you consume. Stop worrying about what your property says about you. Ridiculous fucking peasant.
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This feels really relevant to me because i was just reading my daily p4k and they reviewed the new “Beatles: Rock Band” video game and called it an album.
Kinda reminded me of my daily HRO post that i only half read bcz it looked boring (this one).
had 2 come back though. thanx.
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Ugly is the new aerodynamic?
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horrible post, conglomerate carles
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I have a scion toaster car. i fucking love it. its just a good car. i actually hated their “miricle whip style” marketing, it was the one turn-off. otherwise that car is balls.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 9th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
@bob dobbs, bro
sat in one at a car show or something
it was amazing
felt intense connection
might have been <3
shud i call or wait 4 it 2 call me?
shud we go see 500 days of summer?
shud i trim my pubes b4 we go out in case i get a beejay?
ugh
soo fucking stressed about this
:-/
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would u consider doing an album review abt .5 iced T n .5 lemonade (via arnie palmer)?
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Would give this review 7.624 out of 10 runoffs. Felt all the emotions that u felt in the car. Felt like a cubeFGGT, felt like a CaliBro, felt like I was in a mobile device. Would give this review 8.329 out of 10 runoffs.
Think this is an album that p4k might ‘fucking blast’ in a review because it seems mnstrm. Could also be an album that p4k gives a ’surprisingly good score’ 2, despite it being mnstrm.
Would give the Cube 2.22.45 out of 5 runoffs.
Would give p4k ____ out of 10.0 runoffs.
Would give your review 6.349 out of 9 runoffs.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 9th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
@brobro, i give this comment 3.14159265 out of 4 runoffs
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I would say that the best car of all time = the perfectly designed automobile is the ‘1985 buick lesabre collector’s edition’
see link: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3553/3774083342_0fff061eb3.jpg
its like anco made a boxed set and put it into a car
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Dear sirs,
the target demograhpic is duh:
1. photo of new york FROM NEW JERZEY
+
2. photo of cube in front of JAPAN
=
3. target demo: asians from new jerzey
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it’s called a personal brand and if you fear having one, you should get one ironically, or get chonged and act as if you are >ACQUIRE MOUNT
simple rly
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The Cube is the reason I bike everywhere.
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i think you need to drive it round more, let it absorb your mind, then youll understand. i felt the alt commercial gave it too much hype.
lets just hope next years nissan’s “the void” doesnt fall into the sophmore slump. fingers crossed!
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i work in automotive aerodynamics… this thing is a mess
the cube is one of the least aerodynamic shapes – drag coefficient of ~1.0… compared to a standard car which is 0.45. Not green at all when you’re burning mad fuelz tryin to push through the air at 75mph…
for low-speed city traffic it should be aright though and you could probably fit in lotsa spots
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omg i luvvvv this car its 2 cute luv 2 blast CrysCast+Grizzy+imonaboat while rollin roun wit my buds thru Cali. 2 much fun!
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my license is suspended for well over a year and I have never driven anyways. But I would feel disgusted and ashamed if I drove one of those. Unless it could actually float to the side to park like in that commercial.
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it’s sorta like cruising around in a bento box
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