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Do teens RLLY ‘drink coffee’?

Photo via drunken stepfather


I just saw a picture of a teen/tween drinking a Starbucks product, and it really confused me. When I was a tween, I didn’t really know what coffee was. Sometimes I would see my parents drinking it, but then I would just ask the waiter for ‘a glass of orange juice’ or perhaps ‘a soda.’ Just kinda baffles me when I see ‘young ppl drinking coffee’ and think ‘why would they ever want 2 try coffee’?

It seems like the ‘Starbucks revolution’ really opened the doors for tweens and coffee. It seems like they branded ‘fun, sugary sweet drinks’ for ppl who didn’t ‘get’ coffee, or for ppl whose tastebuds weren’t developed enough for coffee. Seems like people will like anything that tastes ‘chocolatey’ or possibly ‘full of caramel.’ Not sure who teens are ‘trying to be’ by drinking coffee? Why don’t they embrace their youth and drink some thing like ‘Sunny Delight’, ‘gogurts’ or possibly ‘Snapple.’

Is the Gogurt design a ‘more innovative’ design than the iPod?

Feel like tweens want to do what ‘famous people do’ and also appear to be ‘grown ups’ when they don’t realize that they already have the attention of grownups since it is so easy to resent them 4 having their whole lives’ ahead of them.

Seems like tween girls think they can ’seem older’ by ‘acting like sluts’, ‘dressing like sluts’, ‘being lil cunt sluts’, and also drinking Starbucks coffee.

Not sure if parents realize how many calories some of those coffee drinks have in them. It could be a tween’s entire caloric intake 4 the day. Worried about teen nutrition since I took a Health class at the local community college.

This ‘frappy chino’ product seems ‘like a gimmick’, like they are trying to ‘rip off’ the popular drink called ‘the milkshake.’

Seriously feel like tweens might think Starbucks is ‘an ice cream shop.’

There is also the theory which proposed that teens think that Starbucks is a ‘chill place to have a study group’ or possibly work on a group project.

When I was in college, I would meet an AZN exchange student at Starbucks and copy his answers in exchange for ‘making him feel welcome in America’ by inviting him to a few parties. I feel like I did more for him than he did 4 me.

I’ll nvr forget the time I stayed up all nite to study for marketing. Such a hard class, yall! Avoid it at all costs.

Also seems like Starbucks might be a haven for Girls Nights Out, except for boring girls who aren’t sluts/don’t ‘go out’ to places to mate with bros.

Really don’t understand Starbucks. Recently read that it is ‘as popular as McDonalds’ or something, and I am still trying to figure out why they would be successful if they don’t sell hamburgers and lil nuggets. It seems like they have ‘tricked people’ into thinking that they are ‘classy’ and ’sophisticated’ by drinking coffee.

Not sure if it would be more authentic to go to a local coffee house, but most of the time they employ failed alternative ppl who don’t even know how to make coffee. It seems like Starbucks employees would have ‘more training’ or something, and probably employ people who think that they have a ‘real job.’

Remember when Subway told all of their employees that they were ’sandwich artists’ so they didn’t feel so crappy about their jobs?

Seems like Starbucks employees think that they have ‘a real job’ bc they have ‘benefits’ and because they are making a ‘gourmet product.’ Wonder if they are right. Might get a job there when I am done with my communications degree.

Just honestly don’t believe that a kid/tween/teen would ever naturally ‘try’ coffee, unless their abusive father made them drink it to see them suffer. Honestly don’t believe young ppl’s tastebuds are stimulated by the bitterness of coffee. Seriously think they should stick to ’sugary, corn syrup based drinks.’

How do u feel when u see tweens drinking coffee?
Have u ever been forced 2 go to starbucks for a ’study group’?
Is Starbucks ‘corporate bullshit’?
Is Sbucks the ‘perfect chain’?
What does coffee taste like?
What does beer taste like?
What is the most entry-level coffee drink order?
What is the most authentic thing I can order in a coffee shop?

ugh. g2g. my internship director needs some starbucks.

do u drink coffee? is starbucks ‘mnstrm’?
Can some1 plz explain the Starbucks brand 2 me?

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71 Comments

  1. andrew
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:28 pm | Permalink

    first? and once worked for Starbucks.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chong
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, same. tru its for failed alts

    Reply

  2. Jay-Z
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:28 pm | Permalink

    ‘Sweet’ post.

    I wonder why Carles doesn’t podcast anymore?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by ne pas
    //////////Posted

    @Jay-Z, feel ‘empty’ w/o podcastzz yall

    Reply

    //////////Reply by cantoxiv
    //////////Posted

    @Jay-Z, I love the stuff you did with Linkin Park bros. It made me feel ‘culturally aware’ when i was a tween drinkin muh frappy chicos at strbx

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Jay-Z
    //////////Posted

    @cantoxiv, Thanks bro. It was a great experience working with the best band of the 2000s. Hoping to work on an album with the Dave Mathews Band/The Cold Plays by the time I’m 45.

    -love,

    Jigga Bro

    Reply

    //////////Reply by skybeard
    //////////Posted

    @Jay-Z,

    that’s really cool that you’re down with the indie shit, HOV. loved you on ‘hey papi’ via the Klumps.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by brobro
    //////////Posted

    @Jay-Z, think u should have ed droste do a verse on your next jam.

    Reply

  3. al x
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:33 pm | Permalink

    fckn nailed it carles.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by al x
    //////////Posted

    @al x, the biggest morons ever go to starbucks
    plus you didn’t even mention how they make ’smoothies’ now and ‘mcbreakfast’ sandwhiches….

    but srsly why are there kids in sbux?

    Reply

  4. monster
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    Starbucks coffee tastes like burnt piss. Dunkin Donuts & McDonalds(McCafe) coffee is way better. And to answer your question- “what does beer taste like?” it tastes like heaven and a hell of a lot better than coffee.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by al x
    //////////Posted

    @monster, the three of those places taste like shit, none of them are any better or worse. Its all about the attitude you have about coffee and your social status.

    whatever happened to the best part of waking up?

    foldiers in your cup ya’ll

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Gldfsh
    //////////Posted

    @al x,
    nah mcdo coffee is way better than Starbucks

    Reply

  5. benson
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm | Permalink

    brilliant mang.

    Reply

  6. Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:39 pm | Permalink

    just did four lines of coke

    Reply

    //////////Reply by cantoxiv
    //////////Posted

    @buttercup, that’s a lot of cans bro, are you aware of the environmental impact tin causes? Also that’s gotta cause gut-rot.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by jjj
    //////////Posted

    @cantoxiv, http://www.killercoke.org/

    Reply

    //////////Reply by aw, fukk
    //////////Posted

    @jjj, http://www.kathymcmahon.utvinternet.com/mrn/anewspic/Coke-Is-A-Killer.gif

  7. cantoxiv
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    Folgers Classic Roast that’s been sitting in the coffee pot all day is the best. Still cooking of course.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by ne pas
    //////////Posted

    @cantoxiv, ‘reducing’, i think, is the term. culd market the leftovers as an ‘espresso reduction sauce/glaze/drizzle’. seems like u might b able 2 trick sum ‘fancy restaurant’ in 2 buying this product.

    Reply

  8. THE REAL ANDREW W.K.
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    tweens like to party

    Reply

  9. Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:54 pm | Permalink

    h8 strbuks but i love coffee

    Reply

    //////////Reply by andrew
    //////////Posted

    @Mason,

    agreed.

    Independent coffee shops are usually better in terms of coffee quality, as long as the baristas are not inconsiderate/don’t care about their job and customers and brew fresh pots of coffee every hour or so.

    Starbucks coffee is weird. It is darkly roasted and tastes burnt, but it has a lot of caffeine. That shouldn’t be so. The more coffee is roasted, the less caffeine it should have. My stomache usually feels upset after I have a cup or two of their coffee and I feel sort of bad physically, whereas good coffee doesn’t make me feel that way.

    Frappuccino’s are nasty. Groups of tweens at Starbucks were the worst, especially Young Life groups.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by snags
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, haha christian crack.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by ne pas
    //////////Posted

    @Mason, feel like coffee is ‘generally no good’ and ‘completely unnecessary’. seems like drinking coffee just ‘reinforces bad habits’ and is sum thing u ‘end up doing your entire life and eventually can’t even remember why you ever started doing it in the first place’ [via smoking cigarettes, chewing gum, etc.] feel like if i ever see my son drinking coffee or ’some variant thereof’, i wuld ‘fucking beat some sense into him’

    Reply

  10. THE FAKE ANDREW W.K.
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 2:55 pm | Permalink

    you know it brother! *devil horns*

    Reply

  11. andrew
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

    Dunkin Donuts coffee is not great, and their donuts are surpassed by 24hr donut shops owned by Vietnamese and Korean families. I am sure people from the East Coast are upset with this.

    Reply

  12. Posted September 2, 2009 at 3:09 pm | Permalink

    most entry-level coffee drink order at starbucks is a ‘grande caramel macchiatto’

    Reply

    //////////Reply by andrew
    //////////Posted

    @david fishkind,

    That is tied with tall ’skinny’ vanilla latte.

    Anyone else here ever worked for Starbucks? What was the weirdest ‘regular customer’ drink you had to make all the time? One for me was you’d fill up 1/7 of a venti cup with heavy whipping cream, throw in like three and a half Splendas, pour the coffee in, and put whipped cream on top. Another was this crazy lady who’d get a venti cold drink cup with the inside completely covered in caramel, with three inches of sugar at the bottom of the cup, and 18 espresso shots. There may have been some additional syrup pumps. I don’t remember. That drink was crazy. She sometimes tipped with $20 though, so I was ok with it.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by j_is_rad!
    //////////Posted

    @andrew,

    i assume you’d punch them in the face after taking the 20 spot.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by louis
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, i bet she has to take insulin now
    [via diabetes]

    Reply

    //////////Reply by licoricepirate
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, holy crayup .. I worked at dunkin donuts .. we have fewer crazy syrups etc, so it’s less complicated. ;P

    If someone asks for like 7 sugars, I put in less .. just doing my part to reduce diabeetus

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chong
    //////////Posted

    @david fishkind,

    na its the caramel frappachino, half milkshake half caramel coffee+abusive amounts of whipcream

    Reply

    //////////Reply by ammer
    //////////Posted

    @chong, shits so good though.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Gldfsh
    //////////Posted

    @ammer,
    can’t you get all of those frappucinos as ‘cream based’- so that there’s actually no coffee? I’m sure most tweens do that
    Most authentic is an espresso, or maybe a tall americano…def not a grande

  13. Posted September 2, 2009 at 3:34 pm | Permalink

    Brilliant brilliant brilliant.
    The first HRO post that has truly captivated my soul, enriched my life, and taken me away from the mundane cruel world that I/you/we live in and transported me temporarily into mocha-caramel-frappuccino-hilarity-ensued oblivion.

    Viva mon barista!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by lol
    //////////Posted

    @josé speaks: ///,

    shut the fuck up

    Reply

    //////////Reply by lmao
    //////////Posted

    @josé speaks: ///,

    retard

    Reply

    //////////Reply by derrik
    //////////Posted

    @josé speaks: ///,
    LOL at the h8rs.
    LOL at Viva mon barista

    clever use of many languages in just 1 sntnce/3 wrds.

    Reply

  14. May
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 3:35 pm | Permalink

    Actually the most entry-level coffee drink is the caramel frapuccino.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by al x
    //////////Posted

    @May, agreed

    Reply

    //////////Reply by j_is_rad!
    //////////Posted

    @May,
    thats incredible.

    Reply

  15. no fish today
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 3:45 pm | Permalink

    i think i’ve got a boner for that first indie, not sure if she is the molly ray cyrus though

    Reply

  16. lol
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 3:53 pm | Permalink

    feel really bad for girls who try to ‘imbue their job with meaning’ by referring to themselves as baristas. its cute but sad. ur a waitress, shut up

    Reply

    //////////Reply by jordawg
    //////////Posted

    @lol,
    not even a waitress lol, just a cashier really. a cashier that pours coffee and mixs caramel fraps. for some reason whenever i see a hipster drinkin starbux i jus wanna smack it out their hands as they take a sip. actually i jus wanna smack a hipster…

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Gldfsh
    //////////Posted

    @jordawg,
    used to work with an Australian in a bar who considered himself a ‘mixologist’…ughh

    Reply

  17. ally
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

    all of you h8rs just don’t get it….Im in high school and coffee is my motivator! gotta get through those 8 am classes, and after school activities! you gotta love it! my life is hard compared to some of you ppl out there!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by mr. jeffers
    //////////Posted

    @ally, unless your molested by your father/guardian, there is nothing hard about high school. try sitting in a cubicle and choaking on old ladies perfume all day

    Reply

    //////////Reply by ally
    //////////Posted

    @mr. jeffers,

    I have 2 study hard to get into a good college! and join lots of clubs n stuff, but keep up my active social life to make sure I succeed! Like, last weekend I was sooooooo hungover and had to study on saturday and I just had to have my coffee! gotta go study for the SAT….

    Reply

    //////////Reply by j_is_rad!
    //////////Posted

    @ally,
    your really 42 yo and a dude arent ya?

    //////////Reply by bANANAS
    //////////Posted

    @mr. jeffers, feel like she was kidding… u t00k the bitch seriously!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by May
    //////////Posted

    @ally,

    What a joke

    Reply

    //////////Reply by brobro
    //////////Posted

    @ally, your high school years will b some of the most meaningful of your life. U will look back on them and say ‘that was worth it, the lessons i learned there really helped me in my future life’ and smile to yourself. U will treasure the memories of all your classmates. Enjoy it, and don’t forget to join some clubs/volunteer so u can get into a college w/ a good reputation!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by I am the Psn Mouth
    //////////Posted

    @brobro, I don’t remember highschool really. I think I was tripping the whole time. But I tested out with honors scores :3 Now if only I had money for college… sigh.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by smkbnz88
    //////////Posted

    @ally, fuck u

    Reply

  18. loler
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 4:13 pm | Permalink

    hi im 15…im goin to strbx cause i saw them stars goin there yknw…seems cool n stuff…
    i do evrythn starz or cool ppl on tv do…
    so at school all the cool kiz r drinkin coff nowadays…i wanna be part of this ‘group’…i dont care/knw about any health issues i might suffer later…maybe someday ill go like crzy hyper mode all the time….but now i feel so ‘grown up’…almost invincible with mah coffeeeeh

    Reply

    //////////Reply by aw, fukk
    //////////Posted

    @loler, entryLvl

    Reply

  19. the fink
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 4:15 pm | Permalink

    “such a hard class, yall!” – hahahahahahaha yessss

    Reply

  20. ay
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    2 bad starbucks suxx

    Reply

  21. mr. jeffers
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 4:48 pm | Permalink

    Tea > Coffee

    Reply

    //////////Reply by mr. jeffers
    //////////Posted

    and miley cyrus is gross

    Reply

    //////////Reply by jimmie morrisson
    //////////Posted

    @mr. jeffers, here here

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Mari
    //////////Posted

    @mr. jeffers,
    lipton peach ice tea> tea> coffee

    Reply

    //////////Reply by j_is_rad!
    //////////Posted

    @Mari,
    beer> everything else

    Reply

  22. remixes are better
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

    Sbux coffee blows because they brew it double strength. I used to think it’d be the kewlest to work there cause I thought all baristas just sat around and critiqued Radiohead. So I got a job at one and the best thing that ever happened was hearing “Black Sweat” at 7 a.m. It’s kind of like a cult but I like the drinks. And I ran into that Death From Above bro at one once so it’s all good.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chong
    //////////Posted

    @remixes are better, yea the drummer from the bravery comes in and gets coffee evry day from my store

    Reply

    //////////Reply by louis
    //////////Posted

    @chong, wish i was u
    braverys are cool
    my fav is honest mistake

    Reply

    //////////Reply by alex
    //////////Posted

    @chong, just saw bravery at Virgin free fest, kickass show! they are rad, but use excessive swearing, kinda like bob ‘profanitybro’ sagget. I wonder if Carles was at V fest? would love to see a post on that.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by dave
    //////////Posted

    @alex, bravery are shit

  23. jimmie morrisson
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 4:52 pm | Permalink

    I actually meant to say that about your statement about tea, but your second comment is true also.

    Reply

  24. christian
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 5:32 pm | Permalink

    just get your coffee at your fav local bakery/pané.

    Reply

  25. abeewon
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 5:35 pm | Permalink

    coffee> tea, unless youre a sad virgin alt via no hole filling/ hole that is being filled. h8 calling a large a venti.

    Reply

  26. Angry Sonics fan
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 5:36 pm | Permalink

    FUCK STARBUCKS

    FUCK HOWARD SCHULTZ

    FUCK CLAY BENNETT

    FUCK DAVID STERN

    FUCK THE OKC THUNDER

    FUCK THE NBA

    FUCK ‘INSIDE STUFF’

    FUCK AHMAD RASHAD

    FUCK THIS POST

    FUCK THIS BLOG

    FUCK CARLES

    FUCK HIPSTERRUNOFF

    FUCK HIPSTERRUNOFF

    FUCK HIPSTERRUNOFF

    (srlsy good post tho crls)

    Reply

  27. paycheck
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 5:46 pm | Permalink

    my mom drinks coffee. when i drink coffee it makes me want to poop.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by aw, fukk
    //////////Posted

    @paycheck, poop

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Sambone
    //////////Posted

    @paycheck, “Coffee is also a powerful stimulant for peristalsis and is sometimes considered to prevent constipation. However, coffee can also cause excessively loose bowel movements.” -The wikipedias

    Reply

  28. Funky Rutabaga
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 6:02 pm | Permalink

    Vietnamese Coffee = The most alt form of coffee in existence (via being a cultured, global citizen while never leaving America). McDonald’s coffee is good in a post-post ironic sense.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by snags
    //////////Posted

    @Funky Rutabaga, vegan viet coffee alt?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by jane
    //////////Posted

    @Funky Rutabaga, viet coffee is dope

    Reply

  29. Posted September 2, 2009 at 6:15 pm | Permalink

    Not sure if the first chick is hot or not.

    Reply

  30. blue berries
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

    first

    Reply

  31. douche
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 6:47 pm | Permalink

    http://www.shejailbait.com

    ‘miley’ should be up on that mofo

    I want to rape her mouth

    Reply

  32. doug
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 7:49 pm | Permalink

    I grind my own beans and use a french press to make coffee. And I don’t put any cream/sugar in it. I can’t remember the last time I actually bought a coffee drink from a cafe/fast-food chain. And on top of it all I’m addicted to caffeine!

    Reply

  33. Posted September 2, 2009 at 8:01 pm | Permalink

    Starbuck’s creates a ‘Third Place’ (a place between home and/or school, work, etc.) This is what they teach you when you work at Starbuck’s.

    Reply

  34. Posted September 2, 2009 at 8:04 pm | Permalink

    Local coffee shop fired me. Might call the health department on her for having a dog run around it shitting and stuff.

    Reply

  35. Posted September 2, 2009 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

    I’m worried that the HRO comment field is becoming a new destructive way for people to avoid counseling by instead searching for/offering “free-advice-amongst-peers” online.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by jvac
    //////////Posted

    @josé speaks: ///, its ok to ‘get vulns’ at hro

    Reply

    //////////Reply by aw, fukk
    //////////Posted

    @jvac, bro

    thats realtalk

    <3 u bro

    bro, lets hug it out

    <3<3aw,fukk<3<3

    Reply

  36. Jimmy
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    We marched together for the eight-hour day and held hands in the streets of Seattle, but when it came time to throw bricks through that Starbucks window, you left me all alone.

    - Thomas Gable (Against Me!)

    Reply

    //////////Reply by snags
    //////////Posted

    @Jimmy, i totally smashed Nike Town that day bro

    Reply

  37. Emily
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 9:11 pm | Permalink

    Carles. Love and Respect. But srsly, get over this shit and stop wasting your time. It’s fucking Starbucks-to set your crowd expectations beyond tween/single middle-agers is to be ignorant to the ‘Bucks experience. Without even going there, you should know who and what to expect via social branding via coffee shops. Starbucks=mnstrm gimmick you’re only feeding by writing about it…which, if you haven’t noticed, is only turning your treasured ‘alt’ life to mainstream (via HRO blog hits)

    Reply

    //////////Reply by OrangePencil
    //////////Posted

    @Emily, agreed 100%.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by aw, fukk
    //////////Posted

    @Emily, entryLvl

    obvs dont get it

    <3<3aw,fukk,3<3

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Sambone
    //////////Posted

    @Emily, “the ‘Bucks experience” ?
    lulz.

    Reply

  38. Ticonderoga
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 9:42 pm | Permalink

    coffee is like pot, for those who dont know pot. its cool, its a ‘legal drug’ it gets you your ‘awake high’ its fucking cool, if you don’t want to risk dying because of weed*, you drink coffee. tweens/teens drink it for this same reason.

    *for the idiot who thinks i’m serious about that, weed doesn’t kill.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by La S
    //////////Posted

    @Ticonderoga, nobody ever died of weed…

    Reply

    //////////Reply by La S
    //////////Posted

    @La S, ok, I was the idiot, there r ppl who would believe it tho

    Reply

    //////////Reply by sie
    //////////Posted

    @Ticonderoga, I’m so alt I used to meet my dealer at starbucks.

    Reply

  39. Posted September 2, 2009 at 9:44 pm | Permalink

    local coffee is great, but only if they know how to make it . i do drink starbucks though, don’t get me wrong

    Reply

  40. lurrr
    Posted September 2, 2009 at 9:48 pm | Permalink

    the (2boys 2girls) student groups choose Starbucks to work on group projects because
    -if they do it at the library, they’ll giggle and annoy the shit out of ppl and be asked to leave
    -if they do it at one of the boys houses, his stupid mom will watch over them to make sure they don’t “do coke” or “have intercourse.”
    -if they do it at one of the girls houses, they actually will end up “doing coke” and “having intercourse.”
    Bcause thats how tweens are, i learned it from one of my past gym teachers, who hates children

    Reply

  41. brobro
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 1:03 am | Permalink

    was on campus, had a tween ’spill coffee on my kaffiyah’ [almost-via vampy weekbros]

    Reply

  42. weoooooooo
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 1:30 am | Permalink

    i just like my cafe au lait, half a sugar packet. frapps are gross. syrups are gross. starbucks coffee is really gross BUT for my fellow canadians will someone agree with me that tim hortons has the worst coffee? ya it’s bearable with two creams and two sugars (dubdub) but dang yall, shits unhealthy.

    i like to stick my hand in my coffee bean jar and swirl my fingers around. thinking i have a ‘thing’ for coffee beans.

    Reply

  43. Yukon Don
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 2:12 am | Permalink

    Coffee in the U.S. is famously bad. That’s why pple put so mch shit in it to make it drinkable (flavors, sugar, milk, cream…). And you get lots of it, meaning it’s more diluted (otherwise it would be like 3 caffeine servings per cup). I’d say that black Starbuck coffee is a bit tastier than DD’s for example but I don’t really think that people in the US like coffee, they like the coffee flavor. As for teens, they will like anything sweet. I dunno, they always try to do grown-up stuff even if they don’t like it.

    Reply

  44. I am the Psn Mouth
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 2:24 am | Permalink

    I drink my coffee black and get it from the local coffee shop because it’s way cooler and full of couches and all kinds of weird shit.

    Reply

  45. Posted September 3, 2009 at 8:34 am | Permalink

    ha. This is a good post, for sure.

    Dunkin Donuts has good coffee, too. McD’s is ok. Starbuck’s is just more of a chill place to study or hang out than D&Ds or McD’s.

    Reply

  46. AMANDA
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 8:54 am | Permalink

    gr8 posty. i worked at a coffee shop for 3 yrs. it was my prime and i <3 and miss it. def not h8. h8 strbx.

    Reply

  47. xoxo
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 9:34 am | Permalink

    tassimo is great. there should be one in every home.

    Reply

  48. Posted September 3, 2009 at 9:36 am | Permalink

    “Seriously feel like tweens might think Starbucks is ‘an ice cream shop.’ “

    Reply

  49. bob dobbs
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 10:05 am | Permalink

    hate starfucks. get aggravated at all the ppl who order drinks with five or more words in the name (takes fucking forreverrr). or who want beans ground at 730am when im late for work and need my fucking caffeine fix.
    HATE THEIR FAKE FUCKING LANGUAGE TOO
    I refuse to refer to sizes in any other way than LARGE MEDIUM SMALL, suck it barista
    ALSO starfucks coffee has nearly DOUBLE the caffeine than regular coffee… are their repeat customers just hooked on their double dose, like a junkie that moved from detroit to boston and now has to buy dope thats half as strong? (drive back to detroit and buy grams)
    how about a nice cup of Sanka?’
    ps – mad @ coffee for being a vehicle for a legal addictive drug & therefore accepted by society. would rather start my day with some hash and a dilaudid (or 2).

    Reply

  50. DICKZ
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 11:00 am | Permalink

    this is actually vry easy to explain. Did u notice that it was mostly young girls? This is because girls are sucking dicks at younger and younger ages. Therefor they r drinking cum at as young as eleven. Thus their taste buds are prematurely adapted for the bitterness of coffee. It’s basically science carles, something u r far from understanding.

    Reply

  51. smkbnz88
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 11:10 am | Permalink

    Fuck kids that try to ‘be all mature’ and shit

    Reply

  52. Wildwood
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

    I fucking love starbucks….when they don’t burn my coffee.

    Carles, you just led an overly sheltered childhood. I tried coffee very young, liked it black back then, now I take cream and sugar because my alt-dad old-bro taste buds can’t take the bitterness.

    Reply

  53. Posted September 3, 2009 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    bravo Starbuck !!

    Starbuck = You
    You = Starbuck
    We = Starbuck
    Meaning of * = Starbuck
    Starbuck = love of Our lives!!!

    bravo Starbuck!! Wish You happy further brainwashing !!

    Reply

  54. andrew
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 2:05 pm | Permalink

    I’m blessed to have a fiancee who bought me and $600 espresso (on discount though, we got it for way cheaper than that) espresso machine for my birthday a few years ago. Drink like six shots to start the day. I like that and French presses with a ratio of about 3/5 coffee to water. The coffee is like syrup sometimes, with a thick head of crema like espresso. mmmm.

    Reply

  55. andrew
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 2:06 pm | Permalink

    oh yeah cold presses are cool too (literally!)

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Moose
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, Trksh Drill Press is cool, yr a ckmnchr

    Reply

  56. Posted September 3, 2009 at 2:35 pm | Permalink

    good post crls

    also i swear that sndwichartist pic was taken at the capitol hilly location in zeattle. I guess thats the beauty/mystery of subways

    Reply

  57. Posted September 3, 2009 at 3:04 pm | Permalink

    worked at sbux for 2 years while in art school
    most entry level order- grande caramel frappucino

    Reply

  58. mae
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 7:09 pm | Permalink

    starbucks is ultra corperate. i’m 14(been reading your blog for almost a year now) i do drink coffee, but not the corn syrup crap. i drink black w/ sugar. i have to say i enjoy black tea more. whenever i do get coffee i go to strange brews(a local coffee shop) where part of the “experence” is meeting the gay stoner who always puts a extra pump of vanilla into ur iced coffee. starbucks is a fake as you can get.-mae-

    Reply

  59. Spoon
    Posted September 3, 2009 at 7:42 pm | Permalink

    Green tea, warm with honey. ;]

    Reply

  60. Posted September 3, 2009 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    I worked at Dunkin Donuts & all these little chil’rins came in .. and 1/2 the time I bet they didn’t even know what they were ordering. Some 10 y/o axed for Sweet n’ Low .. which is like .. cancur .. but most of the tweens like Coolattas .. which are like, diabeetus.

    The rule = annoying teen girls like their iced coffee “french vanilla, light & sweet”

    ‘cool’ teen boys like iced coffee black ..

    & grannies like small coffees.

    Reply

  61. ab
    Posted September 7, 2009 at 3:25 am | Permalink

    i like purple

    Reply

  62. Posted September 7, 2009 at 7:46 am | Permalink

    I was standing outside the shop I work at and two tween girls worked past, they can only been about 12/13 years old but they were dressed like sluts, had coffee from Starbucks AND were carrying bags from a lingerie shop. It made me so angry. Kids aren’t enjoying there childhood anymore there so desperate to grow up, when really its not that good.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Demosthenes
    //////////Posted

    @Alexander,
    so sad
    I wonder what will happen to them

    Reply

    //////////Reply by alexandra
    //////////Posted

    @Demosthenes, they have 2 grow up in a world that doesn’t treat them like children any more. They are surrounded by news telling them about people trying to kill them and the media trying to get them to have sex. So they embrace it!

    Reply

  63. anon
    Posted September 8, 2009 at 5:51 am | Permalink

    If tweens must drink coffees, they must also be forced to smoke 1.5 packs of Parliaments per day

    Reply

  64. mae
    Posted September 8, 2009 at 9:56 am | Permalink

    when I was teen I drink coffee.
    like for real.
    black XD
    & my friends did too.
    not some chocolate/caramel coffee or whatever..

    Reply

  65. Posted September 12, 2009 at 3:28 pm | Permalink

    starbucks literally means bucks for the star.

    money for israel and it’s zionist agenda. every time you buy a white mocha frappucino you’re displacing or even killing a palestinian.

    explained.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Duncan
    //////////Posted

    @the dopest one, you realise, of course, that’s not actually true and that in fact Israel gets no military funding from Starbuck’s, right? From someone who started out supporting the liberation of Palestine, I’m rapidly getting to the same place with the ‘anti-zionist’ crowd as I got to with the Falun Gong folk long ago; it doesn’t help the cause any if you knowingly spread false information or you’re too ignorant to know the difference.

    At the OP; ‘lil cunt sluts’; really? What is a ‘cunt slut’? The best I can guess is ‘promiscuous lesbian’.

    Reply

  66. sushihead
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 12:53 am | Permalink

    tweens drink coffee to fit in with their friends and be as cool as miley cyrus. if they don’t drink coffee (read: caramel, whipped cream, sugary crap), friends consider them ‘noobs’.

    Reply

  67. sushihead
    Posted September 25, 2009 at 12:54 am | Permalink

    i’m referring to starbucks ‘coffee’ by the way.

    Reply

  68. anonymous bitch
    Posted September 27, 2009 at 3:07 am | Permalink

    STARBUCKS=CORPORATE=LAME. learned that by junior high

    Reply

  69. nerdymcgee
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 11:04 pm | Permalink

    It’s mainstream.
    And I drink coffee as a teen, but not cause it’s somehow trendy…I actually just like coffee.

    Reply

  70. alexandra
    Posted October 14, 2009 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

    there is something hard about high school. You think its sooooo easy looking back but when you were there did you? If I look back at kindergarden or learning to read, of course that seems easy, but when I was 5 years old it didn’t! its all about perspective and so you can’t just say there isn’t any thing hard about it. Plus waking up early when you stayed up late doing homework and all the other stuff we have 2 do, coffee helps!

    Reply

  71. Jesse
    Posted October 20, 2009 at 7:18 am | Permalink

    Hey,
    I have to agree, starbucks is a fad. I am a teen, I love my coffee, but starbucks is repulsive, sugar is pushing coffee far enough. I first tried coffee when I was like ten, hated it, kept sipping, not bad. Now, I love a nice strong black cup in the morning… I get angry when people contradict my vice, it’s not as if I am doing cocaine, no it’s not a great thing, but it could be worse…

    Just my $0.02.

    Reply

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