Photo via lookbook
Hey yall. This is actually a serious post for once. I recently went home to visit with my family, who I usually don’t like to talk about on my blogsite since they mean a lot to me (at least since the divorce). However, I experienced something that I need help coming to terms with, and I feel like a lot of the RanoffCommunity could help me with some strategies on ‘how 2 deal.’ I guess I just wanted to say… my lil brother is turning alt.
What should I do?
I feel like I could help him become an authentic alt, but I don’t know if there is a ‘roadmap’ towards altdom that he could follow. I became alt very organically, so it is just troubling to see him dress like an alt without actually ‘living the life’ that I have lived. His look is so tidy, as if it was purchased from the local shopping centre. I am not sure how to feel about his aesthetic. He can’t even grow ‘real’ facial hair yet. Part of me is happy 4 him, but part of me is jealous that he has more alt opportunities than I had while I was growing up.
I looked in his dresser and saw that he had a ‘collection of scarves.’ Nearly constructed a ‘noose’ out of them and hung myself.
Well yall. While I’m getting personal, I might as well talk a lil bit about my sister. She’s 16, and she’s grown up so fast. I was always worried about her ‘becoming a slut’, and I don’t think she has really been ‘tainted.’ I think she wants to go to Pratt, or some stereotype like that, even though my parents have saved enough for her to go to a State University.
(Also I think she started smoking… Not sure whether or not I should have an intervention or if I should let her get the cancer.)
Not gonna worry about her…she’s gonna make her own decisions.
I guess that’s life… u can choose ur friends but u can’t choose ur family. I guess I should just be happy that they are searching 4 meaning, attempting 2 be alt… attempting to express themselves… I guess ‘alt blood’ sorta runs in the family.
Whenever I have a question about life, I can always just ask my grammy.
Photo via yvanrodic
It’s kinda weird how she has become more alt as time has gone on. I’m not sure if she’s ‘losing it’, or if living so many years on this Earth can teach u a few things about life, society, indie music, and zany fashion-forward fashions. I don’t even know if she is ‘trying’ 2 be alt… It seems like she has a way of finding all of tomorrow’s fashions without even trying. Might go to my local drug store to buy some ‘old ppl glasses.’
I feel better. It was a good weekend at home. I guess I should just learn how to be happy for my family. Let them grow up. Let them make their own mistakes. U just want every1 to be happy, enjoy their youth, make their own decisions.
I’m afraid 2 die. Afraid of ‘loved ones’ dying.
Should I ‘beat the shit’ out of my brother/sister 4 being an ‘inauthentic piece of shit’?
Are old ppl ‘naturally alt’?
How do u deal with ur siblings and the impact of ‘modern consumer culture’ on their identity construction process?
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45 Comments
First!
Also classic post, yall
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//////////Reply by james
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 12:59 am
@Bitcr,
using your post to get more hits. (hey least i’m honest)
Carles,
it’s pretty late, it’s 1:56 am and i’m writing this from charlottesville, virginia.
i just finished my 6th pbr and i’m pretty tired but i just wanna vent a little bit.
i’m a well-educated 23 year old male who graduated from ohio university with a BA in french about a year ago.
i used to really like your website. i liked it a lot when it talked about ed banger records related stuff and cool / elite / hipster-ish music stuff.
now, i feel like you try to hard to come up with stuff to write about and you try to appeal to too many “advertising groups”.
sorry to use your trademarked quotes and whatnot.
anyway, i think you’re alright, i guess. but recently my friends and i are becoming more pessimistic about you / your “social portfolio” / “brand”.
esp. with the Am appy i am carles bullshit.
anyway, you probs make a lot more money than i do, so you probly kick your heels up and collect the checks.
talk to you soon.
james r.
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//////////Reply by Moargan Friedman
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 1:29 am
@james,
LOL @’you try to appeal to too many “advertising groups”’.
U Ranoff with his Runoff.
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//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 2:16 am
@james,
you don’t ‘get it’ man. Like not even close.
“cool / elite / hipster-ish music stuff.”
- Why do you feel the need to satisfy you urge to be hip, cool, or elite?
“you try to appeal to too many “advertising groups”
- carles is commenting on how today’s commodified capitalistic society creates these advertising groups like “hipsters” or “alts” that result in conformity of style, lexicon, and beliefs. Do you really think your decision to drink pbr was your own?
“my friends and i are becoming more pessimistic about you / your “social portfolio” / “brand”.”
- isn’t it funny how our beliefs are often so close to the beliefs of our friends? Also, you conception of “branding” seems very close to the prevailing mindset that I believe carles is critiquing.
“anyway, you probs make a lot more money than i do, so you probly kick your heels up and collect the checks.”
- [ ] gets irony
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//////////Reply by conor
//////////Posted September 30th, 2009 at 12:33 am
@Anonymous, (second reply @james)
Brilliant Response. In an all too often stagnant pool of self-promotional commenting, YOU WIN.
//////////Reply by Anna
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 2:56 am
@james, i am from charlottesville, VA — i kno that it harbors a lot of wannabes & u must b ‘fucking suffocating’ so i’m sorry u are still there, u should try 2 move 2 a more relevant city a.s.a.p.
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//////////Reply by wohilz
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/feature/111798-hipster-straw-men/
//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
@wohilz,
that article is ‘pretty shitty.’ As for recommending an alternative, here is one that actually philosophically justifies a certain type of irony, called engaged irony, and elaborates on several other points discussed by your article:
http://www.hermenaut.com/a28.shtml
//////////Reply by Moargan Friedman
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 1:29 am
@Bitcr,
Seconded. Crls has risen.
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(also first!)
beat the shit out of them bro
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
@david fishkind, DAAAAMN Dem Glasses FLY!
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lol great
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go alt yourself crls
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alts just imitate the old and senile
in my high school they had ‘dress like old people day’
and people complemented my costume.
i was not wearing a costume.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
@musical chains, this made me laugh then cry
i love you
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at least “your” not an only child/alt
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//////////Reply by jvac
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 8:26 am
@paul, only children are the only real alts.
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When we are all 70, skinny jeans and over sized large lettered shirts will be the new knee high socks, khaki shorts and collared golf t.
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my step-bro wants 2 be alt but his dad (my step pep) won’t let him. he is obese and he listens to daft punk exclusively.
his mom buys him expensive plaid shirts that are probably from urban outties and he looks like a bro.
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
@zaze, Damn, sounds like a fucked up family
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//////////Reply by zaze
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK, thanks brah
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
@zaze, Seems like you guys should smoke hella dank buds and chill out with each other.
Let them make the complete alt transition without help so in the future they can LOL about the times when they were just malts and cry about the n00dz that went viral
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I blame Pac sun for selling Skinny, Skinnier and Skinniest Jeans . . . kids these days have to be alt to fit in.
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I think I’m starting to ‘get it’ [via this post and Introduction to post-modernism guide at library.] I feel ‘meaningful’ and ‘authentic.’
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//////////Reply by JJ
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
@JJ,
Need to deconstruct my urge to share with yall…
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alt is shit
nothing matters.
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What’s the equivalent of that boys outfit for 2005 -2006?
Hoodie with Some cool buttons of bands or quirky sayings on them?
Vans, maybe slip ons?
Bedhead with a comb-over?
Silkscreened T done by local skater or independent artist?
Or
Maybe a cool outfit get up that looks like 1985?
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this post applies in a lesser degree to pretty much anyone who is newly coming into the ‘alt lifestyle’. but by alt lifestyle, the noob is drawn to the mere asthetic more so than the experiences. therefore they dress alternatively rather than live alternatively.
we practice by example. alt was created by people ‘just doin there own thing’. and it became trends for people who wanted to seem like they had that kind of liberation over their lives. its an ideal, but in techniqalities, alternative right now no longer means what is sold in urbby o’s, its the product of the individual’s self expression. mass copies of that seems completely backwards to me. why is plaid flannel the national alt flag? seems like alt is a new word for “slightly out of the ordinary. but only slightly.”
alright that’s my ramble. excuse typos, silly bitches.
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//////////Reply by euro smoker
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
@caroline, no.
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//////////Reply by snacker
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 12:23 am
@caroline, it seems the world an average tween lives in (via apparel, music, sarcasms, taboos, etc.) is what our generation would consider alt. the sad thing is they have no respect for whose blood, sweat, and tears ushered in this new heightened level of awareness.
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//////////Reply by Paul
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am
@caroline, seems funny. I am a lumberjack and always thought plaid flannel = flag for my profession
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//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 11:43 am
@Paul, hahaahah
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does carles smoke? if he weren’t american, yes (or maybe quit by now)… But americans, even authentic alts, don’t smoke as much… this is one thing I can’t picture. Can’t picture if he smokes or not.
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//////////Reply by caroline
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 12:02 am
@euro smoker, no
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don’t know any alts irl.
am i auth or a loner?
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//////////Reply by bANANAS
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 5:19 am
@Mari, auth. if u read this website ur auth.
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That old lady’s glasses are fucking amazing.
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ALT IS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT
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//////////Reply by melbourne
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 7:49 am
@snacker, you’re right, its a lifestyle / personal brand
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@snacker, alt IS a fashion statement. everything is a fashion statement. fashion is wearable art. even the yuppies kno that. you think a yupbrah would consider wearing an adidas track suit to work? Nah, cuz it doesn’t represent his “personal brand”. He probably doesn’t give a fuck about andy warhol, and prolly doesn’t listen to fuckin’ radiohead. If it weren’t a “fashion statement” then the potential to ‘make money’ off the presupposed mindset of an ‘alt’ wouldn’t be so incredibly marketable via am appy/urban/goodwill/vintage thrift shops w/clever advertising/pericing staff.
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
@snacker, THAT COMMENT IS A FASHION STATEMENT.
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//////////Reply by snacker
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 1:11 am
@brobro, THAT COMMENT IS A FASCIST STATEMENT
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alt is dead.
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//////////Reply by anonyt
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 2:25 am
@Lauren,
long live alt.
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//////////Reply by bANANAS
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 5:20 am
@Lauren, the name ‘lauren’ is s0 dead.
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
@Lauren, werd
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
@Lauren, Been saying this fer years. Except I’ve been using caps.
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//////////Reply by Lauren
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
@brobro, actually, i wouldn’t really say alt is dead. more like ‘auth is dead’.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
@Lauren,
Authenticity died a while ago.
I think your brother is gay
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haha your siblings clearly look up t you carles.
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you’ll never be as alt as me, all of you !
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alt g0re, ur post is v. sad
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once upon a time we were alt, too
irony used to mean something
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
@dsc, damn, felt ‘incredible sadness’ in these words
y so bitter bro?
lets go get fuckin hammered this weekend and listen to some old justice albums and pretend, for one more night, that its still 2007
‘never forget’
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Yo carles, i’m really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Mcaulay Culkin was the best ‘lil alt of all time!
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//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 9:50 am
@Kanye,
[ ] gets carles point on the internet and modernism’s creation of internet memes
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Hey Carles, I think you should just let your brother descend into inauthentic altness, times are changing and there’s not a lot you can do about it x
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I wonder what people will think of the hipster community in the future. As in; in the 60s and 70s we were proud to be hippies or in the 90s we wanted to be grunge. But no one wants to live up to being a hipster even though it is our generation.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
@Sierraah,
honestly wanted to grow up 2 be a hipster
realized this desire ment i could never ‘rly be’ a hipster
now i just have a chill ass time and always ask my self ‘what would snoop dogg do’
<3<3<3
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too much self-concious thinking not enough living – itll corrupt your alt, watch out.
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Oh Carles,
Do you realize now that a tee-shirt reading ‘I am Carles’ was a bad idea? Nobody wants to wear a shirt that says I am _____. Its like saying “I am Tiger Woods” when clearly youre some white chick in a pepsi/nike commericial.
I would have worn a “Should I do blow off my iPod Shirt” or any number of classic posts. But no way will I shell out $15 for an I am Carles shirt. Son, I am disappoint.
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//////////Reply by bob dobbs
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
@MARKETING101, I think the oils from lots of fingerprints would make some of the coke stick to the ipod. coke is too expensive to waste like that especially IN THIS ECONOMY
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//////////Reply by MARKETING101
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 11:34 am
@bob dobbs, I see what you mean, maybe I’d go for ‘Ginger Peen’ or ‘Hackster Runoff’
But what about you, friend?
If you could have a classic HRO post on a tee shirt, which would you choose?
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//////////Reply by XxAznMom420xX
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 11:44 am
@MARKETING101, Would like to place order for 1 size extra-medium “cool dad” baseball cap and a AZN.
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 8:14 pm
@MARKETING101,
I would Choose.My.Own.Response.
//////////Reply by snacker
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 1:18 am
@MARKETING101, ALT IS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT
//////////Reply by Bitcr
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 3:42 am
@MARKETING101, AM I JUST A MEME?
Way to talk about being ‘alt’ so much that it’s been inclined as something you never wanted it 2 be. Aka the opposite of ‘lifestyle/personal brand’. Way to murder what once really couldn’t be murdered.
Source: Old people don’t have to shop at UO.
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your brother looks like a lost cause. you could try sending him to work on a ranch. prolly somewhere with an old c-boy like robert duval. he could teach him how to be a ‘real man’. lil bro could wear a c-boy hat, plaid shirts, eat porridge for breakfast and listen to ryan adams.
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@snacker, somehow, it is annoying cos they seem like they haven’t earned the ‘Badge’ lol. but im just as bothered when i see tweens dressed like lil bags.
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//////////Reply by snacker
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 1:29 am
@daffy, tweens are braindead dead dead dead from too many mochafrapps
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//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
@snacker, …as long as they aren’t ‘i sores®’…
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This is my very first comment on this weblog and I thought mebbe I cud share an anecdote frm when I was an Undergrad at the Massachussetts Institution of Technology (known as MIT to mainstreamers). There are no old-ppl glasses at our school, just weirdos. Anywhayz, I was chatting w/this kid in my major, saying how all our classmates were applying their engineering skillz in cutting-edge research geared towardz benefitting mankind, and would soon be employed to do the same. I said I was going to stop trying to emulate them, because I didn’t care abt contributing to society, only wanted a job that was fulfilling to myself (via fashion/media)…..Classmate bro replied that alts are jus peopul who dont want to ‘grow up’.
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//////////Reply by Dr. Yo
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
@newbie, hey faggot, don’t imitate carles’ inimitable shitty spelling and grammer, same goes for his one-of-a-kind abusive scare-quotes. Welcome to HRO you stupid noob.
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//////////Reply by newbie
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
@Dr. Yo, that’s jus how i usually type, assface.
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//////////Reply by Paul
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
@Dr. Yo, howz about u simma down and show me your tits
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//////////Reply by Dr. Yo
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
@Paul, :3
//////////Reply by newbie
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 1:42 am
@Paul, will that make me alt?
//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
@newbie,
hey bro
i vaguely remember my first comment
seems ‘centuries’ ago
thx for the nostalgia
<3s
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to be worried about your brother turning ‘alt’ (whatever the fuck thats supposed to mean in the first place) on a website that has a whole post dedicated to PBR price increases seems a little… well maybe you’d say ironic; i’m going with hypocritical and trite.
just let the kids live their lives. let them scene if they feel like it. let them look stupid, listen to shitty bands, wreck themselves, drug, drink, smoke, loot, make fun of jocks, become jocks, make money, lose money, fight, steal, have stupid ideas… everything WE did as processes of growing up. they’ll be fine. they always are.
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HD vision shades from bed bath and beyond (or tv mail order) are that ISH
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Yeah all the kids >18 are becoming more and more immersed in the “alt fashion sense” but they’re still living at home, getting good grades and going out to Applebees every friday with their family. Hipsters are now fully in da mnstrm culture…which means we’re all going to be bitter once we hit 50 about “how shit used to be” on our porches drinking PBR.
Let’s all revive the beat culture of the 50s yo.
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
@Me!, been there, done that (like 4 years ago)
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i would disown him
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I have to agree, you talk about alt-ism so much, it’s like your killing it…softly.
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//////////Reply by OrangePencil
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
@Spoon, Atleast someone agrees with me.
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trap him in a room full of bedford ave. euros, music snobs and art fggts for 5 hours and he’ll come out swearing against being a hipster
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 7:02 am
@d00dz, Is there PBR and/or cheap wine? I’m so there.
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From Crls’s description, his sister seems poised to become a keut alt chick (via liberating herself from societal taboos about smoking and copulation).
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‘19th century transcendentalism’
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almost everybody who’s alt was originally a faux-alt. so if they are in faux-alt right now, don’t stress. give it a few years and they will have either found some “authenticity” or have gone mainstream.
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Alls I know is your sister is hot, and can I have her myspace
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Your brother is so HOT!!!
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-èè_@
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