Photo via the cobrasnake

I have always heard that Portland is the perfect alternative city . It's not like Brooklyn cuz u don't have too many inauthentic transplants moving there and accidentally 'corrupting the scene' since they are 'alternative immigrants' who need 5-10 years to learn 'the way of life.' It seems like a place where they actually honor alternative ideals, such as 'going green', 'being vegan', and chilling in the wilderness/public space. They have some sort of 'thriving music scene'... There must 'be something in the water' or something that has made it an alternative utopia. I imagine that if u walk down the streets in Portland, u will see dozens of conceptual pop bands performing for the sake of music--not to make money.

I was startled when I saw this t-shirt that said Portland FUCKING Oregon. It made me think that my assumptions about Portland's brand were entirely wrong. Maybe they are undergoing some sort of 'massive population shift', or perhaps the city has been corrupted with transplants. The shirt seems 'in ur face', as if the city of Portland is a hardXcore band, or possibly a crabcore band. It seems like Portland's authenticity might be 'going up in flames.'

I feel scared about this shirt, sort of like how the 'Keep Austin Weird' shirt sold the Austin TX 'free-spirited' brand to mainstreamers, eventually leading to tons of corporate development, making the city 60-90% less authentic.

I might move somewhere, and create a "Keep (location) alt" t-shirt. It will probably have to be somewhere in 'the middle of nowhere.'

I just need to find a place to live that is 'perfect 4 me.' Tons of kewl bands passing through, a thriving alternative scene/economy, and possibly some sort of organic foods market. Hope I live in a community that has banned walmarts. Hope that I live in a place that is good for 'singles.' Hope I find a place where the real me can be set free.

Worried about Portland FUCKING Oregon.
Does n e 1 from Portland FUCKIGN Oregon know if Portland FUCKING Oregon is in trouble?

Does ur community/scene have an 'official shirt'?
Do authentic ppl wear this shirt, or is it just for 'tourists and maltstreamers'?
Where do u want 2 live when ur a grown up?