As yall know, I recently became a father. I have some great personal news to celebrate--my son was on the cover of Newsweek Magazine'!' While the topic of the cover story is somewhat controversial, I believe that my son is the perfect representation of the theme of the story. He is not a racist--but he is accepting of natural discriminatory practices which all humans acquire as we 'live life in our modern society.'

I don't teach my son any racist ideas. I have honestly set him free in the world, and he adapts accordingly. Most of his feelings of 'superiority' above minorities are somewhat natural. He is developing like any other human being would. He naturally 'senses danger' when we are on a poorer side of town. He has accepted the fact that he will never play in the NBA. He guards his wallet/personal belongings when walking past a seedy looking man in an urban area (it doesn't matter if the man is white, black, or brown).

I honestly believe that my son would have voted for Obama if he wasn't 'chillin in da womb.' There is no way that he is a racist. Some of his best bros are African Americans. If he is 'a lil bit racist', it is only to protect himself from evil/danger.

I am a proud father. Not proud for simply 'being a father', but I also take extreme pride in my progressive parenting techniques. I honestly believe that I have found the proper procedures to constructing an authentic child. I am more than just a cool dad. I am a perfect dad.

On a personal note, it was really amazing to go 2 my local news stand and see my son on the cover of Newsweek Magazine. Feels like he has really 'made it' as a human being/hate monger.

Not sure if Newsweek is still a real/respected magazine. Still seems like most magazines are just some sort of contest to create a controversial cover that will 'get blogged about.'

I just want my son to be blggd about 4 the rest of his life.
Is ur baby a racist?
R u a racist?
Will u teach ur son how to make 'racial assumptions' or will u give him freedom to grow into his racial preferences?

XX BONUS PERSONAL QUESTION ABOUT UR RACIAL H8/<3 XX

Honestly, though... what would u do if ur white daughter 'showed up to dinner with her two blipster fiances'?

Photo via pedestrian.tv

a) tell them 'You take off your zany clothes, son. Take your hat off. Take your sunglasses off when you talk to me. Didn't any one ever teach you any manners?'
b) disown ur daughter
c) have them take a family portrait with their zany cameras
d) put together a team-building arts+crafts activity so yall could bond
e) greet them a 'tasteless racial slur' but then say 'jk' even though you did/didn't mean it
f) Accept them in2 ur lives'
g) teach the bro on the left how 2 tie his shoes so he didn't have to wear velcro strapped shoes n e more.
h) I don't see colour, except if two bros are wearing a ton of neon shit
i) Plead with ur daughter 2 understand how difficult it is to raise a child who is a 'halfie'
j) Choose.Your.Own.Response