Photo via BallDon’tLie
It’s kinda weird how we’re all ‘witnesses’ 2 marketing, and we are impacted by the stuff that is around us. I noticed this bro from Cleveland Ohio who had actually ‘converted his garage’ into some sort of tribute to his favourite African American athlete in the world, an NBA basketball player named LeBron James who plays in the same city. It seemed weird 2 me, mainly because sports don’t really mean anything, and I thought every1 realized that sports is just some sort of intense marketing + branding experiment for males.
Sorta wonder ‘why’ this bro felt moved to convince his parents to let him turn their garage + old ppl convertible into a LeBron James Tribute Zone. I understand ‘being a fan’ since I am theoretically a ‘fan’ of a bunch of indie bands, but I feel like this would be the equivalent of painting ur car to match the Merriweather Post Pavvy cover. It seems ‘extreme’, like instead of living ur life, you are getting too emotionally attached to the characters + brands that ’sports’ create.
I am not sure why LeBron James would ‘inspire him’ to architecturally alter his property. From what I understand, LeBron James thinks that he is a ‘chosen one’ when it comes to life. Maybe he ‘convinced every1 in Cleveland’ that he is some sort of God. (seems like a tattoo that only ‘an ass hole’ would get/only 1-4 people in the world are ‘actually qualified to receive’).
I am not sure if this tattoo means that he thinks he is ‘better than every1 else at everything’ or just at basketball. From what I understand, LBron has not won an NBA Championship and Michael Jordan won 6 of them. Kinda feel like that makes Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong’s brands ‘legit’, since they ‘won stuff.’ Seems like Nike possibly ‘jumped the gun’ on branding LeBron James, or perhaps he is the only athlete ’simple enough’ to go along with an ‘over-the-top’ campaign in our modern world where people feel ’shitty’ after seeing some1 rub their greatness in ur face.
I feel like the entity ‘LeBron James’ is some sort of propaganda to save the psyche of people who live in Ohio. From what I understand, living in Ohio is ‘a very depressing experience’, since u are ‘trapped in ur life. I feel like Nike probably recognized the opportunity to ‘trick the people of Ohio’ into thinking that their life would be improved if LeBron James won more basketball games.
This billboard seems ‘insane.’ I feel like I would understand why some1 had a ‘warped sense of self/the world’ if they ‘green lit’ this sort of billboard.
Nike understood that it was important to reach the white t(w)een bros, and lure them with the ‘opportunity to co-brand with ‘greatness.’
I am an advocate of children participating in sports/following a favourite team for a ’sense of belonging.’ It seems way more healthy than letting your tween ‘get into the Disney brand’/Jonas Brothers/Twilight books/etc. The spirit of ’sports’ seems positive ‘on the field’, but I am scared of ‘how warped shit can get’ when it comes to uppermiddle class male teen bros who ‘think that they are the shit.’
Worried that these types of bros are the ones who ‘actually fall for sports marketing campaigns.’
Nike even paid Warren Buffet to be a ‘witness’ to this marketing scheme.
Seems like important African American artists who white ppl think are ‘kewl’ even participated in this whole ‘witness’ marketing gimmick. [via Kanye Meme]
Damn. Worried about athletes/rappers/African Americans/Nike and how they brand ‘greatness.’ I feel like the ‘zeitgeist of greatness’ is something that white males are pretty into, but I am not sure if it is a healthy concept to explore before a male is truly mature enough to understand his place in the world.
TeenBros who believe that they are ‘great’ pride themselves’ in having the latest expensive shoes.
TeenBros who believe that they are ‘great’ are never ‘team players.’
TeenBros who believe that they are ‘great’ often have bad fathers who are not grounded in reality.
TeenBros who believe that they are ‘great’ often reach their physical peak during their sophomore year in high school, then go to a subpar university in order to ‘continue playing their fave sport’ and major in some field that they honestly believe will ‘enable them to stay close to the game that they love’, including ’sports medicine’, ’sports business’ and ’sports marketing.’
If my son is a sports bro, I will monitor the influence of marketing on his psyche. Mainstream Teens are impressionable too.
I don’t want my son to evolve into a TeenBro who thinks he is ‘great.’ I just want him to be happy 4 the right reasons, even if that means he ‘plays in the High School Jazz Band’/a local ska band (maybe not).
Should I convince my parents to convert my garage into a tribute 2 ______________?
This post is intended to appeal to the sportsbro and post-teensportsbro demographic.
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IAmCarles.com
33 Comments
FIRST
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//////////Reply by andrew R. Carbone
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
@JERKSTORE, its a sports bra
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second.
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1st to witness that this post sux yall.
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//////////Reply by jvac
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
@tim, agreed, tl;dr
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1st off CARLES: LEBRON IS FROM AKRON. NOT CLEVELAND.
2nd off CARLES: THIS POST BLOWS.
3rd off CARLES: IM FROM AKRON AND IM A WITNESS BRO >:-0
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//////////Reply by gnar sesh
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@gnar sesh, i should read the post first. whatevs.
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 11:27 pm
@gnar sesh, <3 u gnar, <3 u akron, n <3 u CLEVELAN.
http://dailycontributor.com/mayor-involved-in-cross-dressing-scandal/7471/
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carles the corporate shill
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i want a witness shirt now
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heard Lebaron was named after the shtty car his parents conceived him in.
new a guy in uni with the moniker ‘chosen one’. think it was because he had a birth mark that took up 1/2 his face
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Well, it’s not much different than any type of marketing other groups buy into, is it?
This feels like a more genuine post, so I’d rather avoid copying your personal brand and just type my way.
Brands/designer clothes overall aren’t bad things in theory, as you can distinguish between products and learn about the quality/working conditions/whatever the fuck you want. It only gets fucked when people identify themselves by it, like you said. Lately it seems that more and more people are doing this, it’s kind of impossible not to. You start to question whether there really was anything that human about us, or whether we’re just these walking advertisements.
Anyways. Having a sad moment now. This post doesn’t only apply to sportsbros.
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//////////Reply by anony
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 6:26 am
@Sasha, I think it’s more that other people identify us by these things and then if we actually change something we’re perceived as ‘inauthentic’. Humans are creatures of habit.
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//////////Reply by Sasha
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
@anony, Yeah, this is true as well. However, it’s pretty hard to avoid labeling someone who is decked out in Nike.
Then again, there are those eco-crazy people who buy selectively green clothes, and I’m not sure if they’re doing it in an honest way or if they just want others to think they’re good people.
Is there any way to escape this? Maybe not…
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long live the king
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Talk about Ohio more.
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Carles, YOU are a ‘true’ witness.
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if 2010 is gonna be an auto tuning free year, then it will be a good year. what the fuck was this post about anyways?
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Is that the fat kid from the comedy blockbuster Super Bad behind the benzo/lexus next to the black man? Is it
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//////////Reply by Supergood
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 1:00 am
@no fish today, JONYE. KANAH. [via Brangelina name combining meme]
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So Carles, what u are basically saying is u just want 4 walls and adobe slats for ur son?
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//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 2:35 am
@GAMMAZORD, lol he sorta did, he sorta did…It appears that Carles’ son remarks in this post were genuine too.
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sucks for him when lebaron signs to ny next year[via more corpratewhoring opprtunities]
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Last 3 post HAVE totally been a bore CRLS
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZzgAjjuqZM
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being frum OH, i can totally relate. SUDDENLY SPORTS BROS EVERYWHERE
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“I feel like Nike probably recognized the opportunity to ‘trick the people of Ohio’ into thinking that their life would be improved if LeBron James won more basketball games.”
thnx CRLS, now i remember why i come here
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//////////Reply by GAMMAZORD
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 9:48 am
@Anonnonon, becuz nike tricked o hi o?
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//////////Reply by Anonnonon
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 11:31 am
@GAMMAZORD, no, it’s… actually, i forgot. i dunno wtf was so special about nike tricking OHayo. now i just feel sad.
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Playing basketball is very alt since only black ppl do it. I do it all the time
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//////////Reply by bob dobbs
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 11:59 am
@Dave D, what?
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White bros (and other races alike) who come from the (mere appearance of) ‘middle-upper class’ (and also lower-class) have no will to power, thus find it in affiliation with ‘winning’ values. Middle-upper class is just the modern extension of the slave class? Sports for men: not so different from the ‘commodity of luxury’ for women–oh? and men too. Modernity inverts the world.
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Were you beat up in high school, or did the jocks just always pick on you?
The person in the pictures (with the painted garage and car) is a chick, by the way, not a ‘bro’…unless girls are now ‘bro’s too.
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//////////Reply by alt.kewl
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
@DJ, ‘bro’ knows no gender, not 2 me at leastt
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this is important shit, if you didnt like the post read it again. this is the philosphy that must be spread. long live slack.
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‘bro’ knows basketball
‘bro’ knows baseball
‘bro’ knows football
lol
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this is a fantastic post, and the first i’ve commented on in over a year. i read your site periodically and generally agree with what you have to say. this, however, hit the nail on the head. i’ve always talked about how sports are such a scam, and it trick EVERYONE, just for the sake of making someone else money. thanks for at least putting this message out there, even if 99% of your readers think you’re just trying to be funny. maybe one day they’ll see your true message. keep it up.
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Carles, Witness Bro is female. Her name is Candice: http://www.cavfanatic.com/candice216/blog/2009/09/19/putting_my_fanhood_on_display
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//////////Reply by a nun
//////////Posted September 29th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
@Witness Bro = Lady,
SHIT YEAH BRO HAS TITS
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best post evr. want to see more posts on alt coaching/parenting. want to see more of the #sportsbro.
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lebron james looks like a california rais’n
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heard he doesn’t tip
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jonah hill is the best part of this post. all my friends from university are from cleveland. pretty ‘fucking depressing’ place.
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Carles, you have to understand Cleveland sports and the curse that everyone in Ohio perceives they are under. Not only is life in Ohio pretty lame, but when you finally leave you realize just how depressing it is. Lebron James is called the chosen one because Sports Illustrated deemed him that on the cover when he was just 17. It’s hard for anyone put on the cover of a national magazine at such a young age,and then exceed expectations, not to buy in to the label. The fact that he hasn’t won a championship yet is just a formality. He’s only 24 and few athletes have won a championship by that age, even Michael Jordan. He did win a gold medal at the Olympics. Anyway, the fact is that Cleveland is a depressed sports town and until Lebron ,or anyone else, wins a major sports championship it will continue to be. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t make it uncool. I like a lot of things you say, but I think you are way off on this one.
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Who ever writes this blog(Carles?) shut the fuck up you have no idea what you are taking about. Just keep sucking on the lead singer of your favorite indie band’s dick.
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//////////Reply by dickson etuhu
//////////Posted October 3rd, 2009 at 4:57 pm
hello witness!
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heyyy
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