Kinda wanna throw down a bedroom studio jam and make a yewtube video 4 it.
Sorta wish I could be reborn as a girl so that I could have the opportunity to express myself with music. I think I would start by taking piano lessons at a young age, then possibly learn the guitar. I would try my best to have a ‘good voice’, but eventually I would want more than a ‘good voice’–I would want to have a humble, approachable voice that could fill up coffee shops and let the world know that I am a female artist worth taking seriously. I would write songs about the female experience, talking about my insecurities and failed relationships in a direct way that inspired girls to be like ‘thats how i see the world, too.’
My vocal delivery would really enable me to ‘make an impact’ on the indie scene, appealing to girls who were just like me (independent spirits) except they are 80% more creatively worthless than me, since they wouldn’t have any technical talent that would enable them to ‘make something artistic.’ I am not sure how to feel about music that fits into this aesthetic. It seems like the content doesn’t always matter, it sort of just has to sound ‘organic/stripped down’ and have a kute lil girl voice on top of it. I am not sure what women want out of music. It seems like this song would have been a ‘totally different type of hit’ if some indie girl sang it. Guess it is better that Beyonce ‘made it mainstream’?
I’m not even sure what women expect out of music. It seems obvious that the best bands are comprised of male members, but . It seems like ‘all girls’ (mainstream + alt + maltsream) like the same music, even if it is ‘fucking terrible.’ It’s sort of like the television series ‘Sex Inside of the City’, a story that glorifies the sexual pursuits of women. Even though the show is probably ‘mediocre’, the fact that it is a brand that women can rally around and ‘feel special’ that there is a show about ‘them’/their ‘feelings.’
Do yall ever miss the formative stages of ‘indie’, back when the smokey/cutesy/vulnerably quirky female voice was ‘fresh’ and ‘new’? Do u feel like the formula is dying, or will it live on forever?
Do u still listen to Feist/Paula Cole/Fiona Apple/Cat Powers/Sarah Maclaughlan/Jenny Lewis/The Blow?
Do women have ‘terrible taste’ in music, or is it just indicative of the escalated struggle for a sense of purpose in the world when u r a woman?
Remember when THE BLOW had that song ‘Hey Boy’ and it really ‘appealed 2 all indie girls’ since it was about a boy who didn’t call u back? This is a ‘fan video’ interpretation of the song, where a girl is crushed because of the neglect she experiences from a forgettable altbro.
Remember when that guy from the YACHT (Jona Bechtolt) ‘produced’ all of The Blow’s songs, but then she was ‘too Portland’ to take the brand to the next level [via selling out and making some mad mnstrm commercial money] then he quit the Blow and they haven’t been relevant since? Feel like women ruin everything/always have terrible ideas + ideals. Hard 2 empathize.
‘If u _____ed it then u should have put a _____ on it.’
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IAmCarles.com
82 Comments
first
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//////////Reply by benny
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 11:16 am
@levo, ERtards.com
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second
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//////////Reply by cmon now
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
@brobro,
it’s tru theres always a man bhind any successful woman artist/singer/secretary of state, but there was 1 bhind this chick 2, namely the bald bro. so ya u cant just blame girls for this mess
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gay
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suck nuts you two!
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batman shirt ftw
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H8 chick bands. Like only a few chick singers. Bros make better music. Super sick of the female indie voice. And I am a woman.
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xD
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I liked that video.
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Is it wrong to say that behind every good female artist there is a man. whether its the dude that was a douche and fucked her up mentally, or the dude that wanted to do her and made some fat beatz for her and then she turned into a crazy sellout bitch, jsut look at hillary clinton or tina turner or trina or that one lady that started righteous babe records
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@malt bevvy, truer words. My band is called ‘Boys fuck up Girls’ we’re playing next week @battleofbands.
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//////////Reply by paul revere
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
sup 5th grade
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//////////Reply by conor
//////////Posted September 30th, 2009 at 3:14 am
@malt bevvy, convient examples. how bout chicks be stronger metally. alot of dudes get fucked up by girls and write brilliant songs/albums because of it. instead of becoming nobodys.
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Well actually that was better.
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such a ghey vid. wana throw weights at the white girls little sluggy lips so they swell up like a nicker.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
@srbglfklb,
‘jesus christ’
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//////////Reply by anonynon
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
@aw, fukk,
hahahahahahaha sluggy lips
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//////////Reply by kooku 4 koko puƒƒsz
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
@srbglfklb, dont be racist
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1 of the best videos of all time
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:[[[[[[[ wut is this?!?!?!
im so scared rt now
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Where’s Kim?!
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justify domestic viloence
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That was slightly better than I expected. I notice that nobody has put a ring on the very cute “it” in the video. So the altbro with the Electro Harmonix fetish can’t get mad when he sees that I want it.
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maltstream
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3195/3059713477_01daa92c58.jpg
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id do her (tits) but damn. that ‘voice’ is endlessly played out. it makes me want to hit her.
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@fdirty white singlet, want to hit her 2 ;(
love 2roughfuck a twit like it makes the world a beter place
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kinda makes me want to drink some [fair trade/organic] coffee in an authentic local space and think abt ‘the 1 that got away.’
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
@dc, bro. s0 tr00, bro.
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yeah women are fucking awful
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//////////Reply by beantween
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 11:42 am
@hyhw, best comment. made me lol. & im a WOman.
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wish it wasnt always about ass & titties in the music world…this post kind of made me feel sad about being a girl. i dont think u ‘get me’ anymore crls </3
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//////////Reply by jimmieofarc
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@jvac, “i’m just girl, that’s all that y’all [carles] will let me be”- the no doubtz circa 90’s
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werner herzog’s a shitbag
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this video wouldve been nothing without her multi-instrumentalist, electroharmonix loving boyfriend helping her. and the voice is sooo generic now, ughhh. even her quirkily disinterested facial expressions are standard for indiemusicgirls. boooo.
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//////////Reply by Noraa
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
@bro, have to agree, the dude probably did everything and set it all up in the video. she maybe played the bass in one or two parts.
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is it still authentic to listen to pj harvey?
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//////////Reply by Noraa
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
@Lauren, I still consider her works pretty alt. Especially that new album.
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//////////Reply by Lauren
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
@Noraa, good 2 kno im still alt.
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girls got deer in the headlight eyes
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“It seems like ‘all girls’ (mainstream + alt + maltsream) like the same music, even if it is ‘fucking terrible.’” Fucking yes.
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this blog is terrible
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don’t know what made me want to barf more, the contrived cutesy blank facial expression or the song itself. I judge people who like this junk. u are an adult, sing like one. rise above the commercial 8th grade diary entry bullshit. be a fucking artest. b real. ‘go out on a limb’ if you don’t have balls write sawngs with balls okay
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why does he have a pair of pants hanging over his cymbals?
my fav female artists:
regina “phil” spektr
joanna newsom
cocoa rosies
girl from “the knife”
miss u alanis morrisette
h8 u sophie b. hawkins
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//////////Reply by hey anony anony
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
@%), ‘damn’
i wish i was ur <3r
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her facial expressions are asking for an uppercut. she’s watched too much tv, made the faces in the mirror, got conifdent about it, thinks shes original now, someone needs to smash her confidence let her know shes below average authentic. hate when people get confidence via imitation and no one says anything
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Never thought that song could get any worse
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agree that she is thinking she is the ‘it’ girl this vid would be 100% shit without the bro doing all the heavy lifting.
Kind of like the real beyonce without J-Zee or Her Dad or the KellyBird from Destination’s Child.
Favorite all-time female singer has got to be Sigur Ros tho, so awesome
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//////////Reply by this is dumb
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
@gentleman, there arent any girls in sigur ros. the dudes a dude.
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
@this is dumb, lolololol, don’t think u ‘got’ it.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
@gentleman,
yea wud totes do sigur ros
she is hottttt
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//////////Reply by annie
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
@gentleman, once got a r-job from sigur ros in the bathroom @ Tar-jey
so hott
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
@annie, sooooo hottttttttt
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Hey Indy ‘deer in headlights’ girl, Im real happy for u and all, and imma let u fishish, but beyonce had way better video for that song
im just a bro who like some ass and titties
is this meme too played out ?
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now I know why the “the blacks” hate us so much.
although, I will give her credit for making a decent video even though she’s clearly autistic.
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
@Bertrand DeNovo,
yup. white folks have a thing for autism these days [via fergie]. So much girls are asking for a smack and everything else at the same time, cuz we been sitting at our comps for so long that we don’t know what we want more.
white bros like retarded girls
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I still love PJ Harvey no matter what.
Do I love her?
Or
Do I think I should Love her?
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I was attracted to her only when I thought she was a boy.
kinda worried bros.
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//////////Reply by Brandon Ulrich
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
@nerdAlt, ‘if i were a boy yall’- indie girl covering beyonce’s other song
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Are we sure this alleged ‘female indie spirit’ is actually ‘a female’ and not ‘a bro?’
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worst
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h8 her upper lip mole (via birthmark)
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love the cutesy count off “uno deux pizza” this aesthetic has definitely been adopted by the masses
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‘If u BANGed it then u should have put a DONK on it.’
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i aint no misogynist but girlz typically dont make good music. most ‘chick bandz’ consist of 1 chick on vocalz n guitar. But the music is undoubtedly thought out entirely by some guy who is also in the band and just wants to make lots of $$$ because whenever a chick does something musically, even if its crappy, its golden amongst broz/hoz. Hoz aint usually that funny either. they have a crappy approach to humor. damn, i dont want to h8 but hoz arent that creative/smart/funny/tough. they have really creamy vagz, tho. mmmm creamy vagggggg ftw.
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//////////Reply by Funky Rutabaga
//////////Posted September 25th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@zoetrope, I see chauvinism is the new post-feminism – I miss the days of abundant keut indie chicks; they must have all exiled themselves to some exclusive “keut indie chick colony” to hide their pulchritude and musical prowess from us alt bros.
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//////////Reply by John Galt
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 9:47 am
@Funky Rutabaga, yeah they’re on stryke at some dyke colony outside of boulder making leather wristbands and tofu scrambles with their subaru foresters
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//////////Reply by zoetrope
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
@John Galt, BLASTING AMANDA PALMER AND REWATCHING CLOSER EVERY OTHER NIGHT.
this vid did it’s job b/c i want to knife the bald boyfriend and pork lil miss big indie eyes in the mouth.
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
@deep man,
word
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//////////Reply by kooku 4 koko puƒƒsz
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
@deep man, id like to see how deep u r man
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god dam crls
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indie covers make mnstrm music look good. makes me sad :( Gonna go listen to ‘kickstart my heart’ by the motley bros while I peel out on mixed gear bike.
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//////////Reply by testicular dancer
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 12:15 am
fixed mix tape.
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this chick totes reminds me of girls in art school who wouldn’t do n e thing more than make out w/ a dude because they felt that they would be ’showing a man he was dominant’ by ‘giving up more’ and they had 2 prove they were stronger than that
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//////////Reply by brick
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
@d00dz, “totes”
fuck you
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every time i look at the pomplamoose girl the only thing i see when i look at her face is that mole just above her lip. every time.
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‘member: alanis “ironic/coincidental” morissette and meredith “bitch” brooks paved the way for all women with indie voices.
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wow. this is like if you took single ladies and took everything fun about it out, and just stuck with the amazing lyrics. SUCKS
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This new font color does not work for me. It’s freaking my eyes out.
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Anybody else notice the Busy-P(Pedro Winters) lookalike in the second vid?
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//////////Reply by truth
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 10:22 am
@Charles, yo dawg me 2. totes thought it was him at first.
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//////////Reply by kooku 4 koko puƒƒsz
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
@Charles, oh ya thnx cuz i didnt kno which busy p u were talkin about til u said [pedro winters]
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in bro vocalists you obviously find tons of variety!!!
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//////////Reply by hmm,
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 10:15 am
@boards, well yeah, you kinda do.
iron&wine whisper voice, grizzbear eddroste falsetto voice, damo suzuki creepy manly voice, bon iver soulful gang vocals voices, JEFF BUCKLEY? marsvolta insane all over the place voice, uhhh, screamo bands(they suck, but are there girl screamers? prolly not.), i could go on and on.
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//////////Reply by boards
//////////Posted September 28th, 2009 at 12:17 am
@hmm,, for every type of male voice you just wrote there’s a female equivalent. don’t be foolish.
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//////////Reply by conor
//////////Posted September 30th, 2009 at 3:20 am
@boards, not true. cite some.
broad generizations.
ever heard of umm i dunno, maybe yyys, byop, you say party we say die, css, the long blondes
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that girl singing “single ladies” is so corny its disgusting… i dont like it at all. i am a chick and would much rather listen to male artists. but that’s just me.
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She never blinks.
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Rlly h8 most indie rock–it’s like bad hippie muzik.
Agree on ur take that most grrls want somethin tp rally around. But I’d put Kate Bush up against most male bands and she’d win alot of the times.
Target! h8 shopping there–the clothes suck! Target or Tar-Jee is a BIG LIE but we all need to buy toothpaste somewhere.
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
@mary, try dollar general
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//////////Reply by a_nonnie_muss
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
@mary, agree. Though sort of mnstrm, no one can beat her.
Except Bjork.
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yeeeeep
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i hate this so much
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these are demo videos for electro harmonix pedals. inauthentic in every possible way.
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Cales you sold out! why do you have ads for tucker max.. what a stupid mnstrm bro.. I feel like HRO is at least 50% less authentic now…
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//////////Reply by kelly's not a virgin
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
@charlie, ya crlz wheres your altistic integrity sell out bitch [jk but srsly ur bein a fggt]
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m.i.a. is good, if completely delusional as a real human being
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Fuk the haters this is kind of women I would marry in a heartbeat. she’d use that voice to sing me to sleep at night and we’d run an online vintage clothing website to make money while we we’re working on our graduate degrees. Later we’ll have 2 kids, one will be a boy with really long hair who we dress in baby sized sonic youth t-shirts and the other will be a girl who wears too many bracelets and a raincoat 24-7.
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that song was stupid. it made me feel sort of the way i do when i catch myself talking to myself in public..just like, weirdly-vacant.
blah. dudes always make better musical composers… I think it’s the song content. they’re not so much interested in unveiling emotions as much as they are conveying a feeling at a certain time. chick music is so…predictable. rock is supposed to make you think conceptually about ‘any given issue’…. not fuckin’ tell you everything you need to know in 5 lousy, catchy verses.. except for Heart. Heart was the shit…. but they also played their own instruments which isn’t the case with most female singers/groups or whatevs….
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
@bettyannfromjapan, btdubs, I sometimes still listen to Fiona or Cat Power…and def still a fan of MIA
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 8:41 pm
@bettyannfromjapan, and the YYYs
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//////////Reply by tabitha boobieyay
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
@bettyannfromjapan, lol, you optimize everything this website sarcastically slanders
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 26th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
@tabitha boobieyay, gracias
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i like angrycunt music. i like Eve Libertine. if a woman aint pissed as fuck, she is a fucking dumbass.
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 12:58 am
@grizzlycunt, spoken like a true commrade, werd&&props
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there is a problem in that all the youtube comments are just ppl repeating carles article in carlespeak. everyone is so full of shit.
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//////////Reply by black man
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 1:34 am
@fredMS, i agree! this is a bunch of malarkey! just a bunch of darned kids running amok!
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this bitch sounds ridic. everything about this is played out as helllls. fiona apple fucks all over this chick, and most other chicks as well.
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Women are usless, unless you’re talking about cuntz, they need to all make a men a sandwich, and stop playing dress up like lawyers and doctors everyday.
jk, or am I?
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I’d fuck that whore too, just how I like my whores, purky nice tits, nice pretty eyes, dead tone voice, emotionless face, yes I want to marry her, and have her make me a sammich after the sex.
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i am a female singer. worried my voice might fall into the ‘indie female voice’ genre. want 2 be approachable while still maintaining an ‘individual’ sound.
just trying 2 find my place in this crazee mnstrm wrld yall
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Hello world: no music is original anymore, get over it and realize that everything on your ipod is on hundreds of other ipods (or whatever standard mp3 player you use).
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
@Me!,
10 pts, slytherin.
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//////////Reply by /\//\\///\\\////\\\\
//////////Posted September 27th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
@Me!, probably hundreds of thousands of ipods you dumb fggt
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blog about the wavves fight!
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I like the bassline and the reharmonization.
my mad lib attempts were all pretty poor.
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add sarah blasko to the indie girl cutesy voice list.
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FUCK! there is good music and shit music. it doesnt need to be categorized into some fucking carlespeak HOT VS. NOT guide for the fucking mindless leeches who need to be told what to like and whats “kewl” and shit.
Women are so amazing, its only in the context of society where being a woman can suck.
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lol I went to middle school with that guy. He rocked as Peer Gynt in “Peer Gynt”
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worst cover evz
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The girl from the vid is a friend of mine…
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I like Kate Bush. Not a shred of irony or pretension in her.
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Another good post of musical criticism telling it like it is.
I’ve been sick of Cat Power since 1993.
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i think yr right. i wish there was more prominent, respectable music coming from women.. all we got is yyy’s and etta james………… and yyy’s aren’t that good and etta james is old…………where are the women at? rise up! (via rise against) where is miranda july at? what is life?
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the whiny gurl singing voice has bothered me 4EVER!!!! im not judgin’ .. im just sayin!!
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i was seriously talking about this a couple months ago with one of my friends. i’m so sick of fucking girly bullshit music. there are women out there who can make legitimate music and ones that listen to good music, too (i’d like to think i’m in that latter category). but the whole cutesy girl acoustic pop thing is old and tired.
fucking hate feist. just saying.
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