In this post, Carles will attempt to utilize his web brand as an 'eCommerce retailing outlet', attempting to brand himself as a 'man of the people' by giving his viewership an opportunity to 'buy shit from his brand.'
Carles announces a 'once in a lifetime sale.' Carles announces the 'Halloween Blowout Sale' of the once popular meme, IAMCARLES. This sale is meant to target people who 'want 2 be Carles' 4 the popular holiday 'Halloween.' For a limited time, the IAMCARLES shirt price has been 'fucking slashed' to $22.
Ordering before Tuesday means that you will get your I AM CARLES at a discounted price. Your shipping will be 'upgraded' to ensure delivery before the Saturday holiday. This is your 'only chance' to get a 'sweet deal' on the IAMCARLES shirt before they are all gone. It feels like I have 'sold a lot of them', but still need a 'sale' to liquidate inventory/ rejuvenate potential interest in t-shirt ownership.
This type of sale will surely 'do in' the last of the of IAMCARLES t-shirt inventory.
Who will u be 4 Halloween?
'Am I getting a good deal for $22?' 'Is Carles worth supporting?' 'Did Carles empty out his annual trustfund stipend before the year was over?'
Is the IAMCARLES tshirt a bad Halloween costume idea?
I AM CARLES HALLOWEEN BLOWOUT SALE--a concept 'sale'
Goal: 2 get ppl 2 buy tshirts and be 'carles' 4 halloween
Gimmick Pros for shoppers: Discounted Price, Upgraded shipping
Cons: Still potentially 'overpriced.'
Fun ideas: put fake blood on Carles shirt, and u can be 'Carles after a Juggalo killed him'
Price: $22 (includes expedited shipping)
Buy Now at this URL: http://iamcarles.com/
'On Halloween, u will put on ur IAMCARLES shirt, and transform into a relevant blog. This is the perfect costume for the modern world.'
CARLES PROUDLY ANNOUNCES The Teenz 4 t-shirts program
Carles has also heard many stories about teens with no debit cards/paypal accounts/etc. He has launched the T-shirts for Tweens Program, which is dedicated to the mission of giving under-18-year olds the same consumer opportunities to 'waste money on internet products.' The program is meant to enable teens to purchase Carles goods through non-paypalian methods.
Please contact me at carleser [at] gmail.com if you are a teen/miscellaneous adult who does not trust 'online commerce.' When was ur first bank account/debit card? Do u wish u could only use cash so u couldn't 'waste money on shit' on the internet?
Visit I AM CARLES.com now to participate in this sale.
http://iamcarles.com/
'The Brand is stronger/weaker than ever, and we must capitalize b4 we all die.'
-Jesus Christ, God, and the Virgin Mary in a 'branding' strategy session
'I honestly feel like I am still creating compelling content when I make a whore-ish post.'
-Carles, commenting on the state of the blogosphere/journalism/music criticism+tastemaking
Will u be Carles 4 Halloween?
Sale ends on Tuesday.
iamcarles.com
Comments
first awoooooooooooooooooooooo!
@shenghui, [via howling at the moon overseas]
@shenghui,
'Carles is dead.'
@friedrich nietzsche, pitchfork.com replace the p and f with d’s, and carles is then exposed in that url....now that is carles, some fat retarded lat bro
@shenghui, Does anyone want to gmail chat with me about tao lin to get free books? Email me at charlie651 @ gmail . com
@charlie, if we do this we can save enough money for t-shirts..
Do you ship internationally?
@Jasonmc,
fuck off with this t-shirt bullshit, carles
srsly its not funny and noone cares
hope u r getting some sales tho, otherwise is is just bad
@alex,
yeah, we must be chumps to have to read through his attempts to make a living for himself...idiot
@JJ, nietzsche, pitchfork.com replace the p and f with d’s, and carles is then exposed in that url….now that is carles, some fat retarded lat bro
@JJ,
that t-shirt is horrible and his ironic attempts to jam a worthless product down everyone's throat [via the cobrasnake] have bcome 2 frequent 2 b funny. ok everyone likes to look at the cobrasnake pics or read HRO at some pt in their personal evolution, but it's not worth $$$ 2 n e 1.
also i dont think n e 1 read this t-shirt selling post, including u
@bob i was under the impression carles was a fit white dude who had aged/graduated out of the scene to an unauthentic, well-paying job. would b a bummer to find out hes a fat mexican
@alex, fat texan mexican at that
you didn't put the carles meet and greet on sale
@carles, really? awoooooooo!
@coco, Carles here;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
i'm gonna make my own blue AA shirt that says 'I Am Tao Lin.'
(...via edgy speculation meme)
@brick,
lol, carles editing the h8y guy's posts.
RISK OF CONTAMINATION (via true identity)
@brick, Carles exposed here;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@awer,
your post got edited.
alert the blogosphere (!!!!!!!)
@brick, Carles your a dork;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@awer, Carles life story here;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@onkkk, Carles loser exposed here;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
Reply
@onkkk, Carles exposed here;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@onkkk, Carles life story here;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@onkkk, Carles your a dork alright ;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@onkkk, hey
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@brick,
who is the 'fucking Hitler moderator'?
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
carles, or whoever is being all meta with our posts, you are doing yourself a bigger disservice. Nobody can escape the inevitability of the internet. Accept the unmasking, your relevance has peaked.
@brick,
Carls, you just have to change the business model now......fun while it lasted right? dont sell out.....
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
rate my book.
@Tao,
well Tao can have his shit book, im interested in how carls looks like;
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@Tao, that books shite. its more interesting seeing carls exposed at http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@Tao,
Tao is poo. check http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/... Carles exposed...
jesus, I think tonight we will never forget that 'shit hit the fan'
I feel like being part of a 'leave Carles alone' group just so that we can form 2 sides so there can be a real live 'message board' backlash/schism
@skybeard,
shoplifting from am appy was a good read
http://www.amazon.com/Shoplifting-American-Apparel-Contemporary-Novella/...
@skybeard, freal dawg, why is every1 being such dicks? exposing crls seems like a really cop kinda thing 2 do (ftp). feel like joining a 'leave carles alone' group 2.
@b4hc, 4 rlz, agree w/b4hc. this is the gayest most fggtst 'campaign' ever. leave it alone yalls!
YALL, IP BANS ARE BEING HANDED OUT I THINK
@skybeard, IP BANS yahooo!!!!
@hello,
'srsly', 'who cares'
@skybeard,
obviously Carles does as he's running around deleting this ditch dorks posts!!!!
@hello,
why are you being such a dick dude? he's just some dude trying to make a living and entertaining us...if he doesn't want people to know who he is then wtver.
also, its his site. if some prick came on my site running amuck, i'd delete his shit too.
@dick,
people who think like that shouldn't be on the internet. its a BLOG ffs, ON THE INTERNET. if you can't handle some entry level trolling, don't use the internet. for anything.
damn.
feel like pitchdorkbro is like a 'mean dude'. wish he would 'shut the fuck up'. prolly pissed about the hornitos/potential juggalobro.
wish flowersforalger-anon was here 2 make sense of it all..
h8 u spammers more than the hornitoz.
@1000freeipods, miss u flowers4algae
@b4hc, feel 'slightly offended' by all this. like, 'damn'. feel like glenn beck is may b behind this whole thing.
@flowers4alger-anon,
glenn beck is an evil fearmonger!
@hmm, yah he is, with 'fucking retarded' followers/worshipers. seems like these fggts r 'part of his flock' maybe. or at least 'cut from the same cloth'.
@flowers4alger-anon,
y hasnt glenn beck denied that he raped and murdered a young girl in the 1990??? what a fucking asshole
http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/
@aw fukk, thought that was bob saget???
@1000freeipods, def a mean bro. still upset abt finding out that his parents are siblings, and that that is why he has da funky walkz [via incest {sub via congenital birth defects}]
@dean,
and the broads
@dea, wish i had 'mod status' 2 change ur link to something zany like 'hell kitchen's fan club' (tv cooking show)
definitely not gonna give u a free 'nano'
phew, it's been a crazy/long/wild night on here!
'had a lot of fun'
'I'll check up on this thread again tomorrow'
'night, guys'
@skybeard, miss u skyb.
feel like u are the only one here who 'gets me'/'my struggle (mein kampf)
Carles seems chill
@qwerty, yeah chill bro....thats nice
@q,
is he a latino?
@yello belly, he's a latibro
damn. in these turbulent times who do i turn to?
where are my blog bros?
feel like the electro prophecies of 2k7 r coming true...
@1000freeipods,
im sure the second coming will happen
hows it all going folks?
@gex, www.ditchfork.com
@gex, pitchfork.com replace the p and f with d's, and carles is then exposed in that url
i thot this post wuz abt a halloweenie t-shirt. wtf is going on?
@m.azing,
'dude', 'you missed it'
dude' carles is the gimmick master
he even gimmicks his comments
cnt wait to read shop lifting from am appy
GUYS CARLES IS STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL SOME BRO IN MY _________ CLASS ASSURED ME HE WAS INDEED CARLES.
feel 'left out' yall. wtf is going on?
lol, losing tons of blog money for this sale!
the fuck is going on? what did I miss?
How is 'Carles' pronounced? That's always been a much bigger mystery to me than his identity.
@Blackface Killah, Car-lace
@Blackface Killah, karl-zzzzzzzzzzzz
@Blackface Killah, car-less.
Damn, apparently some "shit went down" that I missed. I wish I had better timing/was one of those avid HRO stans who refreshes the site every six seconds. :-(
Did you guys expose Carlos or something? if so big effing deal, this blog has sucked ass for awhile regardless. Feel like "I could give a shit" that HRO died today.
@natybro,
meant to say Carlos Perez
feel likes the book 1984 yall, sort of scared that crls is too much like big bro. prolly gonna delete this post so i dont taint the masses of alts that 'follow' him like retards. kinda wish crls had a real job so we wouldnt have to put up with this bullshit
carles = http://brandon-alien-fine.blogspot.com/ ?
@ carles, u can still 'reincarnate' ur 'brand' into another blog but seems like u are not 'chill' cuz some bro with a 'cool story' stole ur anon. feel like carles could have played it off better or mayb he has given up on himself. a font can't sell a t-shirt plz dont edit me bro
ill take 2
missed something. scared. becoming culturally irrelevant on the internet. someone hold me.
What you get for trying to milk it for what its all worth. You should have followed the Seinfeld brand.
But who cares
hm.think i would rather do bebe for halloween.
feeling scared about stumbling upon information i am not supposed to, yall.
@elle, just did a bit of googling. i should've taken the blue pill.
@elle, wow a bro thats not trapped in the matrix, I though me and carles were the only one's
www pitchfork com - change p and f to D's
@u, what a dork!!!
@ella, what did you expect, some "hip" dude? Kind of scary that carles and Tao seem to have a view that most people are "stupid"
OMG STFU! like carles was 'ever that anonymous to begin with'. nobody died here today. yall r acting like u just discovered dirt in the ground. fckng fggts.
@flowers4alger-anon, hey Carls is not cool to talk to your own blog either......sorry i mean Carols Perez
@you, right, bro. 'damn'. u got it 'all figured out'. did u take courses at ur local community college, gumshoe?
@flowers4alger-anon,
u don't understand that the 'identity' of 'carles' was the gimmick. that gave the blog its 'relevance'. feel like HRO 'jumped the shark', like when joel went back to new york, or like when pam and jim got married.
@god, that was A gimmick, fggt. not THE gimmick. the show must go on.
@flowers4alger-anon,
no need 2 get hostile
feel like the 'magic' of the blog is gone. now that i know who carles is, writing different posts from different perspectives makes them less 'authentic'. now that i know the carles is a person, not a mystery observer that 'gets' how alts work (or don't work lulz), i have 2 think of carles as just another person with his own opinions and biases. might as well read p4k in a silly voice 2 get that.
the show is over. now we watch the behind-the-scenes bonus dvd
@god, feel like i've 'known carles's identity' 4 a long time now, and it hasn't 'taken away the magic'. feel like magic isn't even real n e way. come 4 the blog, stay 4 the cmmnts, laugh at the gimmicks.
@flowers4alger-anon, you sound shaken up [via lashing out]. did u buy a lot of merch?
@a bro bro, unsure as 2 how 'shaken up' i sound. not sure how much i 'lashed out' other than using the word fggt twice. felt as tho i was 'promoting gay rights' or sum thing by doing that. just think it's silly/zany that ppl 1) think they r unearthing 'new information' and 2) that it really fucking matters. a better gimmick 4 this blog than carles's 'purported anonymity' is the fact that it is actually funny. think it's funnie when ppl say hro is dead or bash carles randomly. but a concerted effort to cover the cmmnt section with bull shit is at least mildly upsetting. still 'feel good about life' tho...
@a bro bro, plus lolz at 'did u buy a lot of merch?'
@flowers4alger-anon,
feel like this incident is going 2 hurt carles' prospects as an e-commerce retailer in the alt community. though the diffusion of identity via the t-shirt beforehand was a smart move. feel like being a bitter consumer proving my value to society via my buying power. we live in a post-carles world, and i can't say that I can read his old posts with the same unassuming eyes n e more. guess i'll still visit HRO, and exploit his insight and witty links by passing them off as my own to my non-alt friends so that they can think im zany.
@god, def disagree that we live in a post-carles world and with not being able 2 read old posts 'with the same unassuming eyes'. but it does sound like ur 'making the best of it'.
@flowers4alger-anon,
now that i think about it, carles can still market himself as a self-aware hyperalt [possibly post-alt?] observer. Rebranding may be necessary to stay attractive to members of the targeted demo tho. alts like to be told what 2 listen 2/wear/do, and 'dirty mexicans' aren't that relevant/authoritative [via stereotypes]. ppl out there take this blog srsly, even tho they won't admit it [via calling ppl 'fggt']
@flowers4alger-anon, feel like i take 'enjoying this website' srsly [but not the content], to whatever extent u can use that term re any blog. think calling ppl fggts seems 2 b 'in line' with the core 'discourse' of the site.
@flowers4alger-anon,
feel like anyone that uses the internet 2 offer opinions is 'fair game' and 'deserves what they get'. can't say that i feel 'entitled' 2 enjoy HRO/[blogname here], and so I don't take it srsly. can't say that the drama this unmasking makes it any less enjoyable tho, pretty lulzy how he tried to get meta and then got called out. feel like we all need to watch an internet orientation video/visit 4chan 2 understand that the internet is a place where nothing of value is kept.
All of a sudden I enjoy HRO again :O)
how do y'all even know that is really carles? could be any bro. it might even b me.
who carles really 'is' is irrelevant, didn't u get the shirt? i am carles, u r carles, we r carles.
now leave carles alone :-(
@nobody, yes you are carles. Carlos Perez i should say...stop writing on your own blogs
Damn just wrote a heart felt speech about CRLS and he banned the comment. All I was saying was how much you made me laugh the past few years and how much I love your sarcastic insight, but if your gonna be a bitch and start blocking comments than you deserve to be exposed. Its not such a big deal getting exposed, so stop being such a pussy. You started banning comments a few months back but this is bullshit. Fuck you, stay in San Antonio. Being hispanic from Texas is not relevant.
@HelterSkelter: R u 'relevant'?
@Bipster, hardly
Because I cant post 15 comments to every single post like you and flowers4alger. Good job scouting comments and replying to everything on HRO, but maybe its time for something new.
@HelterSkelter, ever watched the film zeigeist? Its funny how the investment banks see the masses as "retards", maybe they are, but i dont need this blog and tao to think they can manipulate teenagers.......they attack blogs for thinking they are incorrect whats authentic, and they attack the the people for accepting what they are given. Tao and Carles are just elitist.......its only rock and fucking roll......"off with their heads"
The irony is that it was starting to become "mainstream"......also i believe in Karma......I think its fine to attack the big guys, but dont start attacking school kids in bands..its not their fault bands like the XX get signed and are enjoying themselves..........satire and irony is fine, but hate will mean you got to expect hate back.....
still <3 u, crls
I want one.
I am going to one of those electro concert war battle things friday night in shitty city, ca. I would have the best costume EVER.
SkelterBro: Are you 'for real'? I post every 'fortnight'. May I suggest a JUICYPSSY?
yall are assholes for trying to expose carles' identity. It is not your choice to make for him. Did it ever occur to your little pinprick brains that there are not only ideological considerations to stay anonymous, but also safety reasons? It is an author's decision to reveal his/her identity, not a fucking readers. I've known his identity for a long time, it wasn't hard to find, but clearly he didn't accidentally forget to inform us about his identity. LET HIM STAY ANONYMOUS
@JJ, feel like he still will be anon 2 an extent. feel like a large number of readers and ppl who 'get'/enjoy hro never even read/leave comments. i kno i read this blog for a long time without bothering with the comments section. seems like the ppl who think that 'this changes everything' prolly 'never really got hro' n e way. not fully, anyway...
also, seems like hro is 'up in hits' from this time last year, if yall view the site statistics...
@flowers4alger-anon,
this is true. hope carles keeps an eye on how his stats change after yesterday/today
http://www.quantcast.com/hipsterrunoff.com
@JJ, how do we know that enriqueiglesias/texasbro really is carles? i listen to his radio show every monday and he does NOT sound latino, or southern, or anything. in fact, his lack of voice inflection is sorta unsettling....
but anyways, <3 you carles, <3 your blog, had some chill times.
@hmm,,
i KNOW, he doesn't say 'mang' or any of that silly stuff
man.....I'm so fucking alt
Gee where was this last week? Halloween isn't relevant anymore, it's all about Unofficial Halloween!
I paid $3000 to meet carles. that bro isn't carles.
@daffy,
'how was it'?
@skybeard, 'chill.'
why didn't you give that money to a 'culturally relevant' organization like, perhaps, your local soup kitchen?
sorry, that last post o' mine was directed @daffy. my "B"
lala3@satomix.org
lala4@satomix.org
FUCK EVERYTHING
@flowers4alger-anon, bro
@aw, fukk, "fuck cumming on girls' feet" - carles/jesus
damn bro, didnt read for 2 days and i missed out on sweet deal.
This is thomas bangalter speaking. MUSIC OF TODAY, SOUND OF TOMORROW. charles, come to paris. we could collaborate on making TR2N + your american clothes 'i am charles.' please give me a call.
Nise site,
Nise site, http://www.gravatar.com/freekimpossiblesexca#1 >free kim possible sex comic [url=http://www.gravatar.com/freekimpossiblesexca#1]free kim possible sex comic[/url], ubcli,
Incredible site!,
Incredible site!, http://about.me/buyviagrassw#1 >buy viagra [url=http://about.me/buyviagrassw#1]buy viagra[/url], lqjago,
purchase levitra
purchase levitra professional
cialis online
kamagra sildenafil
buy online viagra
viagra professional
purchase cialis professional
online viagra comparison
Post new comment