Not sure if I ‘get’ the goal of ‘magazines.’

I read that the popular sitcom character Marge Simpson is going to be on the cover of popular ‘nudie’ magazine . I think it is apparently a ‘big deal’ since so many people have watched the Simpsons for the past 100 years. Tons of cultural philosophers say that since her head is in the shape of a peen (a phallic symbol), she sorta represents all guys being a lil bit ghey.

I searched the internet for nude pictures of the Simpsons, and happened to find a ’shit load’ of cartoon porn. Like graphic pictures of tons of characters doing ‘the kraziest shit possible’ to one another. It seems to indicate that there is already a niche of fans who are interested in seeing the Simpsons nude/performing sex acts, and they have probably already had their fill of Simpsons hardcore.

not an authentic hro advertisement


I don’t think the magazine will show nudity, so I think a lot of people should just do a ‘google image search’ if they really want to get off 2 Simpsons porn. This is apparently how the porn industry works these days. It’s a lot like the music industry–people want the best, most extreme porn/music 4 free.

appears to be utilizing this Simpsons gimmick just 2 try to sell magazines to ‘people who usually aren’t interested in ’ since showing C-list celebrity breasts no longer makes the Brand a valuable asset/resource to our society. From what I understand, men used to use Playboys to ‘tug off’ before the internet existed. I am excited about ‘going under’ within the next few years, but they might be able to extend their shelf-life if they get characters from Family Guys/South Park/Hannah Montana to show off their knockers.

Magazine companies seem like they are just trying to get people to buy them by posting pix of allegedly relevant people. Now that Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize, people are finally saying he ‘hasn’t done shit.’

Don’t think Miley knows ‘a damn thing’ abt LIFE (not the magazine, but actual ‘life’).

Rolling Stone must have needed to ’sell tons of magazines’ to tweens when they decided to ruin their brand.

What do tween broads know about Health? They probs don’t even know what ‘mammygrams’ are.

Magazines seem like they ‘try too hard’ to generate discussion. Like they are trying to get ’stupid groups of people’ to talk about their magazine content.

I am not sure if magazine covers are supposed to ’state the obvious.’ I don’t think that they can ‘break news’ as fast as the internet, but I think people still value them as some sort of ‘pulse’

Not sure what this metaphor is supposed to mean.

‘Jesus Christ.’

It seems easier/cheaper/’greener’ to be a blog, since ur not wasting tons of paper. I feel happy to reach my readers through some wires and satellites and Macbooks. The internet has really ‘changed the entire media landscape’, whether ur looking 4 a ‘good read’ or if you need to ‘get off’ to some internet pornography.

As a society, we must ‘take the final step’ in eliminating magazines by disregarding them as unique content providers. We can’t hold on to the significance of their brand just because they ‘have been around forever.’ Internet blogs must ‘rejoice’ whenever a magazine folds. We must blog/tweet to one another about how ‘we’ toppled another competitor by bringing tons more consumable content to our dedicated tribes of followers.

Will u ‘tug off’ to Marge Simpson?
What’s the ‘kraziest shit’ u’ve ever tugged off to?
Are magazines better than blogs?
Are the Simpsons ‘authentic’ or ‘just another krappie tv show’?
Are cartoons for people who ‘live in a fucking dreamworld’ (no matter how trendy & progressive they are)?

Previous Simpsons coverage

Aligning Ur Personal Brand with The Simpsons

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48 Comments

  1. bzsprme
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 10:17 am | Permalink

    first

    Reply

    //////////Reply by zachary german
    //////////Posted

    @bzsprme, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6wHVbzIY1c

    Reply

  2. belovedbrogue
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    le 1st

    Reply

    //////////Reply by belovedbrogue
    //////////Posted

    @belovedbrogue, effin slut!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Blackface Killah
    //////////Posted

    @belovedbrogue, probly could have been first if you weren’t tuggin’ to Marge

    Reply

    //////////Reply by belovedbrogue
    //////////Posted

    @Blackface Killah, no way, that little chick from the jonas bros wins. so angst-ridden (via shirt tug)

  3. EFF G.Gillies
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 10:29 am | Permalink

    Yay blogs! Thanks 4 getting ride of stoopid maggie-zines. Just want 2 save the world SOOOO much [via reducing carbon footprint]

    Reply

  4. Henry
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 10:44 am | Permalink

    disappointed that the magazine doesn’t have any nude pictures of marge.

    even if nobody wants to tug to marge, showing marge tits (while kinda awkward/gross) would at least make the cover slightly authentic.

    this cover just seems gimmicky/fake/’fucking stupid’

    unless i’m wrong?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Sasha
    //////////Posted

    @Henry, u r not wrong

    pretty sure a lot of people masturbate to cartoon porn and have for years now, this isn’t anything revolutionary

    and also lame because of no nudity

    Reply

    //////////Reply by GLDFSH
    //////////Posted

    @Sasha, read about some guy who can’t get his peen aroused by non-cartoon porn/ real women – only cartoon porn

    Reply

  5. Posted October 12, 2009 at 10:52 am | Permalink

    horrible outfit for Alice Glass!!!

    Reply

    //////////Reply by fullscale008
    //////////Posted

    @pimpumpam, but ever imagine her without clothes and still be left totally blank? some thoughts aint meant to be thunk

    Reply

  6. broseph stalin
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 11:03 am | Permalink

    is that light under allie’s shirt a ‘phallic symbol’ for her having a peen?

    Reply

  7. Posted October 12, 2009 at 11:15 am | Permalink

    srsly hope magazines + simpsons both come to an end.

    Reply

  8. bryon
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 11:37 am | Permalink

    ‘you’re living in a goddamn dream world, and don’t know what fuck you want’

    Reply

  9. Posted October 12, 2009 at 11:42 am | Permalink

    playboy has good articles.

    Reply

  10. iheartplants
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 11:51 am | Permalink

    start a blog, save a tree

    Reply

  11. LoLLerCopterZ
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 11:54 am | Permalink

    Kinda worried about ‘print media’. Wondering if economie can be ‘revivied’ thru ‘google ads’. When iz there gna be a post on ‘Bernanke-Bro’?

    Reply

  12. kbiz
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 12:08 pm | Permalink

    wish I had been first. Never been first in my life.

    Reply

  13. Posted October 12, 2009 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    The Simpsons’ porn advertised on Spankwire really kills the mood for me. Terrible.

    Reply

  14. ok ok
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

    I subscribe to newsweek and the daily paper, and sometimes I feel really wasteful, but i hate reading the news online.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chong
    //////////Posted

    @ok ok,

    its chill to eat eggs while reading the paper. i feel like a fuckin mess eating at my desktop

    Reply

  15. Myth
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

    <3 alice glass
    <3 alice glass
    <3 alice glass
    <3 alice glass
    <3 alice glass
    <3 alice glass
    <3 alice glass
    <3 alice glass

    Reply

    //////////Reply by jvac
    //////////Posted

    @Myth,

    <3 bart simpson
    <3 bart simpson
    <3 bart simpson
    <3 bart simpson
    <3 bart simpson
    <3 bart simpson
    <3 bart simpson
    <3 bart simpson

    Reply

  16. wisp
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 1:11 pm | Permalink

    pretty tired of the gossip ad

    Reply

    //////////Reply by remixes are better
    //////////Posted

    @wisp, definitely. think beth should lose a few alice glasses. NME should have had to fold for this.

    http://culturespill.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/beth-ditto.jpg

    Reply

    //////////Reply by siesie
    //////////Posted

    @remixes are better, hahahahhahhahha, ohh beth ditto so large and n charge

    Reply

  17. yea
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    yes i agree Obama does do alot of things, BEHIND EVERYONES BACK! ahahaa

    Reply

  18. yea
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 1:28 pm | Permalink

    yes i agree Obamy does do alot of things, BEHIND EVERYONES BACK! ahahaa

    Reply

    //////////Reply by grizzlycunt
    //////////Posted

    @yea, obino

    Reply

  19. yea
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 1:29 pm | Permalink

    yes i agree obamy does do alot of things, BEHIND EVERYONES BACK! haha

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Elle
    //////////Posted

    @yea, post that one more time

    Reply

  20. eyepatch
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    i like magazines when i have to take a poop

    Reply

    //////////Reply by publicervixanouncmnt
    //////////Posted

    @eyepatch, ya mags are probably the best thing to ever happen to pooping/getting your oil changed/waiting for the doctor/dentist. not everyone can have a laptop/blackberry/iphone

    Reply

    //////////Reply by john anybro
    //////////Posted

    @eyepatch, take your macbook with you when you poop, duh.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by eyepatch
    //////////Posted

    @john anybro, my poops require forceful griping which would render my macbook into 2 pieces

    Reply

    //////////Reply by DICKZ
    //////////Posted

    @eyepatch, i personally take my TR-808 in the bathroom with me when I poopies.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
    //////////Posted

    @DICKZ,
    Bro!
    You gotta autotune your poop splashes and put them on my Jesus Christ(the indie band) remix.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by DICKZ
    //////////Posted

    @BlipsterCambridge, whoa dats innovative. briliant.

  21. Posted October 12, 2009 at 1:52 pm | Permalink

    this might shed some light on the muhammed ali photo. It looks to be an immitation the often painted image of the Martyrdom of St. Sebastian, like in this painting by Reubens http://www.jahsonic.com/Sebastian.jpg

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chong
    //////////Posted

    @publicervixanouncmnt,

    he knows wat it is. all those old covers are from a link he posted to the 20 most iconic mag covers. just hatin on prints fyi

    Reply

  22. lisaitsyourbirthday
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 2:05 pm | Permalink

    Simpsons>HRO

    Reply

  23. Warren Fcking Beatty
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 2:21 pm | Permalink

    Alice Glass made that post mngfl.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by RigoStar
    //////////Posted

    @Warren Fcking Beatty,
    I once had anal with Alice, it didnt go well

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Gunda
    //////////Posted

    @RigoStar, ‘details’ please.

    Reply

  24. Posted October 12, 2009 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

    I think I read Rolling Stone and Spin when The Strokes ‘came out.’ Want them to die now, I guess.

    I feel good about magazines that are made by bloggers, as long as they are seeking an authentic connection with an audience. Think bloggers can ‘go nuts’ if they don’t have an audience.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by entry level blogger
    //////////Posted

    @entry level blogger, I want the magazines to die. I still like The Strokes.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Sasha
    //////////Posted

    @entry level blogger, that’s good

    I never knew about their Jonas Brothers cover, it made me lol and wonder about the people that still take that mag somewhat seriously

    Reply

  25. Posted October 12, 2009 at 2:42 pm | Permalink

    want more simpsons nude-pix!

    Reply

  26. Posted October 12, 2009 at 3:11 pm | Permalink

    Fuck tree killers.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Sasha
    //////////Posted

    @Marcel, totally just printed out about 50 pages of notes for a class

    does this make me a “bad person”

    Reply

  27. Sasha
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 3:39 pm | Permalink

    Magazines/books/whatever will probably end up dying and be replaced by blogs and kindle

    it’s a great thing though, I’m excited

    the only bad part is maybe deleting old things/having blogs shut down/whateverwhatever and not being able to look back at past things

    I never really did that with magazines anyways so idc

    Reply

    //////////Reply by jjj
    //////////Posted

    @Sasha, So excited to have all physical content digitized in a post-reality internet universe. Can finally unhinge.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by grant golland
    //////////Posted

    @jjj, physical objects 4EVER! Srsly tho, I like collecting things and I can’t be the only one.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by eyepatch
    //////////Posted

    @grant golland, ur not bro, they made a show about ya’ll called hoarders on the a&e

    //////////Reply by grant golland
    //////////Posted

    @grant golland, there we go, art can still exist then.

  28. anonymous
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 3:41 pm | Permalink

    it looks like alice is holding two robot penises.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by grant golland
    //////////Posted

    @anonymous, that picture of her is way more pornographic than the rolling stone cover.

    Reply

  29. broke slut
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    shit.
    never read magazines
    unless I just ‘pick 1 up’ while I’m waiting to donate eggs.

    Reply

  30. Funky Rutabaga
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 4:11 pm | Permalink

    I used to subscribe to Playboy, but it did not align with my personal brand – who needs Playboy when you have Burning Angel and God’s Girls (via Andy San Dimas being the hottest alt chick ever).

    Reply

  31. idk
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 4:14 pm | Permalink

    BART IM PISS

    Reply

  32. gammazord
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 4:34 pm | Permalink

    some magazines are pretty alright, like certain fashion mags (purple, 10 men) or culture mags that offer unique articles, like flaunt. they’re good because they’re not monthly. i believe purple is yearly and flaunt is like every 4 months or something.

    Reply

  33. voniscarl
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 5:15 pm | Permalink

    well put, this saves trees. i wonder when magazines will become officially obselete

    Reply

  34. DICKZ
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 5:39 pm | Permalink

    never got to read that Time mag about god. Did they decide if he is dead or not? let me know some1.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by henry
    //////////Posted

    @DICKZ, “god is dead, yall” – freddy nietzsche

    Reply

    //////////Reply by DICKZ
    //////////Posted

    @henry, that guy wuz in the tuff aliance right?

    Reply

  35. kevin
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 7:00 pm | Permalink

    this was a nice follow up to that news feed of the controversial magazine covers

    Reply

  36. ko
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 7:04 pm | Permalink

    you should have posted some of the old MAD magazine covers…and the ali cover was when he refused to go to war in vietnam moron

    Reply

  37. no fish today
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 7:28 pm | Permalink

    gonna take a gangster right now whilst reading my spin maggy

    Reply

  38. chukkie
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 8:21 pm | Permalink

    oy paper rad is mad wild 2005 read my zine in the shape of barts head oy zebra stripes

    Reply

  39. Posted October 12, 2009 at 9:01 pm | Permalink

    #musicmonday Jets MNF Dolphins Paranormal Activity Rockies Monday Night Phillies #mm Halloween

    Reply

  40. broseph stalin
    Posted October 12, 2009 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    fell sad about stealing music in the ‘wild wild west’ state of the internet yall. <3 music, h8 spending monie. can nebody help me?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by gramercy riffs
    //////////Posted

    @broseph stalin, p4k 4kcast bro

    Reply

  41. grizzlycunt
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 12:03 am | Permalink

    Someone brought in 8 Nylon mags dated from 2001-2003! it was fun, but sad to look at them. i realized the age of the magazine ended with 20th century.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by siesie
    //////////Posted

    @grizzlycunt, luv nylon. my first ‘alt’ inspiration that gave me a sense of being, almost brought me to nirvana – ‘authenticity’ still climbin along dat mountain. hope i reach it soon. don’t think its possible, but worth a try.

    Reply

  42. andrew
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 12:23 am | Permalink

    Magazines are way better than blogs/websites. The Wire, The Economist, The Believer, The New Yorker, National Geographic, Frieze, Thrasher, ugh lots of others are way better in print than on the website. Material things that you can hold are more authentic than pixels. Most blogs are lame and terrible and give people the impression that their opinions matter/they have an audience (is this ironyyy?). I don’t want print media to die. Print media can be archived physically, whereas it’s too easy for history to be wiped away through computers erasing things. If print media ends, Fukuyama-bro’s statement of “the end of history” is totally fulfilled. The culture being absorbed by the internet is almost all the way there to the end of history. Oh man.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by grant golland
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, the simpsons was not a good magazine.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by andrew
    //////////Posted

    @grant golland,

    never claimed it was. But magazines/print media should not die.

    Oh yeah, computers are probably worse for ‘the environment’/Third World people than paper. There are mountains of computer toxic waste dumps in China and India.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by DICKZ
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, too long of reply, what r u a philosphy professer?

    Reply

    //////////Reply by dc
    //////////Posted

    @andrew,
    “Most blogs are lame and terrible and give people the impression that their opinions matter/they have an audience (is this ironyyy?)”

    Kinda want 2 start a mag now. Sad that my opinion doesn’t matter.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Simple
    //////////Posted

    @andrew, <3 aesthetics of holding a book.

    Reply

  43. siesie
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 4:59 am | Permalink

    what r good ‘alt’ movies?

    Reply

  44. yessum
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 7:43 am | Permalink

    armageddon
    three men and a baby
    man on wire
    loose change
    a goofy movie
    etc.

    Reply

  45. Delila
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 10:43 am | Permalink

    Yo Carles,
    the esquire cover with muhammad ali alludes to egon schiele’s poster he did for galerie arnot in 1915 portraying himself as a saint who was slain by arrows.
    Werd! Esquire be up on their fart pisstry!
    I ain’t trying to be one of those know-it-all-a-holes but juss thought it’s nice to know. I’m in art “collage” learning about shapes and wanted to show my “knowllage”.

    Reply

    //////////Reply by chukkie
    //////////Posted

    @Delila, real interesting to hear about tired basic concepts u just learned ty

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Scott
    //////////Posted

    George Lois, the art director on the Muhammad Ali Esquire cover acknowledges (in at least one book) that the depiction of Ali as St. Sebastian is based on a painting by Andrea del Castagno

    Reply

    //////////Reply by Just bring gunz
    //////////Posted

    @Delila, hey there delila
    oh what you do to me

    Reply

  46. panda
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 12:58 pm | Permalink

    magazines suck.

    Reply

  47. Posted October 13, 2009 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    Talk a little bit about the Marge thing here:

    http://bradfordpearson.blogspot.com/2009/10/marge-simpson-playmate-of-year.html

    My thoughts, in a nutshell? Ick.

    Reply

  48. Hello Girard
    Posted October 13, 2009 at 4:52 pm | Permalink

    i’d wouldn’t want to align my brand with boning that chick wearing the black i-liner n simpsons t-shirt.

    Reply

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