Photo via the cobrasnake
I saw this picture on a popular nite life fotography website, and it made me very confused. I am not sure about ‘the state of bro.’ It seems like every single type of bro has sort of merged into one bro aesthetic. I feel like there is no longer an altbro, a bro-bro, a college bro, and a California Style Bro. It seems like we might have reached a Melting Pot Bro where many of the elements of various ‘bro’ aesthetics melt into one singular bro (kinda like America has tons of different races).
In the above photo, you can see many different bro-genres present in the personal brand of the bro:
- California Style Bro: his hair seems like he has ‘been chillin at the beach
- Brah Bro: Sweet lid that is tilted at a bro-like angle
- AltBro: Sweet ‘energetic’ aura, always photographed as if he is attending an electro party, neon-ish plaid shirt
- SportsBro + CollegeBro: Football t-shirt & School spirit t-shirt
- PartyBro + College Bro: ‘double fisting’, ‘bitches.’
- Earring-wearing Bro: He is wearing diamond stud.
What is ur fave type of bro-genre?
It seems like the modern bro can’t really be ‘put into a genre.’ The Modern Bro will utilize various bro aesthetics based upon his upbringing, social class, parental wealth, and fashion availability in his region [via the local mall]. The Modern Bro has utilized the internet to learn more about bros on the other side of the world, changing bro culture forever.
I don’t think we can simply call the Modern bro just a ‘bro’ again, since that would neglect bro history. Here are some suggestions for a label that acknowledges the Melting Pot Bro Theory:
- The Modern Bro
- Puu Puu Platter Bro
- Bro2.0
- Post-Bro
- Bro-gaze
- BroWaves
- BrahBrahs
- BroBros
- BroK10s
- Antebellum Bros
- Universal Bro
- uBro
2k10 is the year where we will stop evaluating bro brands on an individual basis. We will evaluate bros as a larger cultural body/phenomenon/race.
What will the Bro of the Future look like? Will he be mainstream or alt?
What store in the mall will be Bro HQ, or will the modern bro ’shop at a lot of diff places’?
Will bros ever die, or will they keep evolving?
Is every male born after 199_ going to end up a ‘bro’ whether or not he would like to be a ‘bro’?
Has retail fashion changed the social construction of bros 4evr?
Previous AltBro coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/alternative-bro
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IAmCarles.com
53 Comments
Ain’t been first in a while, but have a feeling I’m still not gonna be 1st. (via HRO operating ‘hella slow’ and taking 4evr 4 the comment box 2 cum up)
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//////////Reply by It's Barak
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
@It’s Barak, And yet I still was…
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//////////Reply by vdieselfor20
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
@It’s Barak, k
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
@It’s Barak, too long, did not read.
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//////////Reply by Rusko
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
@brobro, i appreciate this
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the bro of the future will be alt, which in turn will be mainstream.
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//////////Reply by Bro
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
@thoreauly77, The only possible step is post-bro. Which is the melting pot of bros that Carles has cast light upon today in said blog-post.
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postmodern bro-theory suggests that contemporary bros are ‘totally psyched abt AnCo,’ but also ‘kinda into date-rape.’
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//////////Reply by daffy
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
@dc, i propose ‘PoMo bro’
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//////////Reply by fullscale008
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
@daffy, Po(ur) Mo’ Bro
Mo’, Gimme Mo, until, he wakes 2.25 a.m. raped and awashed in beer tears, trouble walking.
He’s just another dude with daddy issues, whose dad was definitely a Hegalian.
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//////////Reply by trevor
//////////Posted October 9th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
@fullscale008, …. fuck you man
//////////Reply by Sasha
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
@daffy, PoMo bro is gr8
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//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
@daffy, lol @ ‘PoMo bro’
@carles, post more PoMo bro
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ALt style is a Melting Pot;
welcome to the new new Bro_Alt asthetic
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hybrid entry level/douchebro. {via liking MGMT and girls in UGG boots}
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//////////Reply by Fredrick James
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
@Brozac, yeah, i don’t know what to think. He looks like he says stuff like ‘ur a fag bro LOL’, but also like he’ll finally watch Brokeback in four years and find it ‘really touching’.
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//////////Reply by mitch
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
@Fredrick James, I feel like I really hate this bro, and like I want something bad to happen to him
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what about DudeBros, bro dude?
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i lyk brahs w vaj’s so i can fuck them
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//////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 1:51 am
@†®åπP,
….Lesbros?
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Marilyn Monbro is the female bro?
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gay post.
tht bro is prally at his first electro rave
prally just turnd 2+1
via his double shots of miller lite
bi
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//////////Reply by trevor niblett
//////////Posted October 8th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@y, yo man…. im acually 17…. snuck into tent party at western homecoming…..and it was my first elctro rave haha….
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//////////Reply by y
//////////Posted October 14th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
@trevor niblett,
lawwl
watch out for fatties with furries
(boots)
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post-brocore
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i want to be brogaze.
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feel like i dont know what my style is anymore.. i feel the melting pot, feelin more and more like one of the masses.
who am i
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not sure the majority of the bros on the board have the perceptive means to speculate on the direction of the bro ism. this is coming from some one who doesn’t get it.
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//////////Reply by shamu
//////////Posted October 8th, 2009 at 2:20 am
@wisp, i don’t think you “get” hro.
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//////////Reply by wisp
//////////Posted October 8th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
@shamu, i already said that shamu
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totally buying in the Melting Pot Bro theory and voting for Post-Bro
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pure homecoming/ontario bro.
the reason i moved three time zones away.
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//////////Reply by dax jax
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
@salma mater, Ontaribro?
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//////////Reply by Bro
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
@salma mater, so confused why cobrasnake went to western.
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//////////Reply by Paul
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
@salma mater, r u an arctic bro?
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ladybro.
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I was shopping at H&M for some new brogear when everywhere I looked were younger bros done up in the freshest bro threads and texting/updating twitters on their sidekicks/iphones.
I think my genre of bro is fading and will only survive in smaller towns/cities disconnected from the interwebs/interstates. I don’t wanna die :(
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Insightful shit CRLZ.
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hes got a gold watch.
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//////////Reply by siesie
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 3:04 am
@spokentroll, and a ‘wanna b livestrong’ on ze other hand
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Woody Harrelson?
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UniBro?
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quantum bro
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“Beyond Thunder-Bro”
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this weekend a group of post-bros rolled up to a porch i was drinking on and asked me if i liked passion pit
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//////////Reply by Chantal
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
@brittany, lol a post-bro pick-up line?
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//////////Reply by brittany
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
@Chantal, idk i guess
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//////////Reply by Chantal
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
@brittany, has 2b, evidently this p-bro is not taking any chances choosing a band 1 000 000 blgyears old!
//////////Reply by hieu
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
@brittany, im sure that grp wanted to bang you while listening to passion pit
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
@brittany,
do you like “jesus christ.” (the indie band)?
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//////////Reply by siesie
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 2:57 am
@generk witty cmmnt, is this rlly wat u want?
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@generk witty cmmnt, they ’seem chill’. is “jesus christ.” (the indie band) the next ____?
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 12:33 am
@brittany, do you like the band ’suck my erect penis until i ejaculate then maybe we can go get dinner at an inexpensive chinese restaurant with a limited vegan selection and i will buy you a meal that comes with a fortune cookie then i will drop you off where you need to go and never see you again but think about you and what could have been sometimes when i am drunk and almost asleep’?
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//////////Reply by eyyy
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 12:58 am
@brittany, uc santa cruz is mostly next-gen bros. there are a lot of bros who worked really hard in high school and got into a low-tier UC when they should have gone to ASU or something. Upon admission they get “conceptual” and want to rebrand with the hippie / hipster image of UCSC without letting go of what makes a bro a bro. they’re next-gen bros and most dont even realize it
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//////////Reply by boards
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
@eyyy, have to take exception to the low-tier comment. some people worked hard in high school and chose ucsc because they wanted to actually go there. they didn’t foul up and not get in anywhere else.
there were tons of bros there though, i do agree.
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hey u guys do u know what colleges i could find the most hipsters at?? i live in ny but don’t mind going to college anywhere else plus i’m a senior in high school… time’s running out.
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//////////Reply by brian
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
@mica,
boston university, but only if you’re dtf (down 2 fuck)
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//////////Reply by bob dobbs
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 8:19 am
@brian, mica dont do it!!!!!!!!!!! BU is filled with bros-in-training-to-join-the-masses-of-the-homogeneous-boston-work-force. white hats will turn to crew cuts with blue button downs (with diff color white cuffs&collars for the heads of the frats who get higher pay cuz thier frat brother is head of trading)
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//////////Reply by Colossal-Bro
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
@mica,
Evergreen.
All Evergreen alumni I know has either, publish a novel, directed a film, and/or released a 7″ on K records before the end of the first term.
p.s: the place is whiter than an amish commune though.
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//////////Reply by smashface
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
@Colossal-Bro,
evergreen is more for the angry/displaced/socially rebellious/hippy/faux-hippy/posers/druggies/counterculture-y/earth-y type than it is for ‘hipsters’. if you consider yourself a ‘hipster’ seattle U will have more of that. you gotta have mad bank tho.
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//////////Reply by Elixir
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
@smashface, I’m a seattlite hipster that actually goes to evergreen, i bang bloghouse harder than anyone else knows at evergreen. contrary to popular belief evergreen is full of mainstreamers that get their alt education. cafe vita is supposedly the spot in oly but people hate it because of all “those damn hipsters.” I live near the cafe vita and a majority of the people that come in are not “hipsters.” def lots of tweens with their moms and women wearing furry-hooded northfaces and peeps looking to do their homework.
//////////Reply by smashface
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
@mica,
last comment meant to be at mica
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//////////Reply by Mica
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
@smashface, thanks u guys i’m currently looking at bu, nyu, u of maryland college park, and fordham u. Nyu seems like the only true hipster one but idk if i can get in there. Thx 4 da recommendations though
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//////////Reply by xavier
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
@mica,
are you trying to stay on the east coast?
ATX is a city run by hipsters, our dear writer carles is even a resident.
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//////////Reply by hieu
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
@mica, do not pick a school just because it has hipsters there. lol.
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//////////Reply by andrew
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
@mica,
If you have good grades/SATs/APs and rich parents:
Reed, Swarthmore, Oberlin, and Vassar. Be prepared to spend like $40,000 a year.
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//////////Reply by andrew
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
@andrew,
oh yeah and by this I didn’t mean these are “hipster” schools, more like they are beyond that in terms of intellectualism, crazy lifestyle stuff, and art. I was accepted into Reed, but I didn’t go. Somewhat regret that, but really, I would have been way deep in debt, far away from my fiancee, and bummed out with the academic workload, so that’s that. Now I’m sort of a college dropout. Oh well.
Tips for the future for kids going to college: go to community college and try to get a good job, work/intern a lot, learn Norwegian/Dutch/German, save up money, buy gold, learn a valuable skill that other countries will give you a work visa for, and GET OUT OF THE USA as soon as you can. Move to Berlin.
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@andrew, Vassar is need-blind ya’ll. Though in the curr. eco. climate it’s trying it’s best to recruit rich kids. yaaaaaaaaaaaay.
//////////Reply by lol
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 12:03 am
@mica, im dumbfounded by this thread
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//////////Reply by eyyy
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 1:00 am
@mica, brittany, uc santa cruz is mostly next-gen bros. there are a lot of bros who worked really hard in high school and got into a low-tier UC when they should have gone to ASU or something. Upon admission they get “conceptual” and want to rebrand with the hippie / hipster image of UCSC without letting go of what makes a bro a bro. they’re next-gen bros and most dont even realize it
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the ‘mainstream’/'alt’ bro
the ‘malt’bro
u can drink him or something
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//////////Reply by hieu
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
@bbbbb, hmm that sounds dirty
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HoBro = bro who looks like a hobo
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I think in the future we will see a marked change in the current alt -> 1-2 yrs -> mainstream dichotomy. Alts seeking new ground will embody the “pre-9/11″ bro aesthetic post-early/mid 90s style but pre-9/11-American Outfitters / aviators bro style. we’re talking about the spiked hair Tommy Hilfiger wearing proto-bros of the 1997-2001 era. In the future us authentic alts will adopt this aesthetic and probably listen exclusively to Skaters/Hypnagogic-pop and return to the ironic appreciation of 2005 era blog buzz bands
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
@the robedoors, ‘the future is now dawg’
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that looks like a regular bro to me.
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
@Lauren, their permeation into brociety has already dug deep roots, it seems
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//////////Reply by hieu
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
@Lauren, i agree. he probably only listens to hip hop around his buddies.
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i live in Broston, it’s so hard to choose just one!
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//////////Reply by lol
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 12:06 am
@lechmere, <3 it here in broston. cept for the brosox. h8 those bros.
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//////////Reply by bob dobbs
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 8:22 am
@lechmere, haha yeah bro-ston, i live there too. sooooooooo many bros! but we still got mass art, museum school and central square :)
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love your new music Carles (via Jesus Christ)
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I don’t know what 2 say 2 u when u look @ me
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@xavier i thought austin was commercialized and nolonger “authentic” but i guess i’ll check them out too.. its not too far from tulane (a school i’m also looking at) … but i also want a good education though and it seems like ut austin is a party school
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//////////Reply by andrew
//////////Posted October 5th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
@mica,
UT Austin is a good school. It depends on what you’re trying to do. They have a lot of good departments there. It’s the best school in Texas, and if you’re trying to get a job in Texas it’s an asset. It’s difficult to get a real job as a young person in Austin. I lived there for the past year and a half and loved it, but I was working as a temp the whole time and that sucked. To get a job at like Wheatsville or even HEB you need inside connections, basically. If you have a lot of money from your parents, go wild, Austin is great. I’ll try to move back in a year or so and transfer with my job or whatever.
Austin is nice. If you become a student there don’t just stick around campus… East Austin is really cool (Progress, Cafe Mundi, Longbranch Inn, Yellow Bike Project, grafitti walls, Domy Books, Trailerspace Records, East Side Pies, Los Comales, good libraries, cheap apartments, crack dealers, kids who throw rocks at you, etc.). Downtown there’s the Gingerman which has great beer and very few students… Beauty Bar which is kind of lame but also sometimes has really good dj’s, Mohawk (lots of good bands play there), ultra Whole Foods, man lots of other stuff. If you have a stable source of income, Austin rules. The good/bad of it is that it is a sort of lazy city, and if you have a routine you will see the same people all the time – lots of acquantainces, few really close friends. If you are into electronic music/hiphop Austin is not a very good city. Anyways…
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//////////Reply by siesie
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 3:01 am
@mica, teksas? wtf
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//////////Reply by Roger
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
@mica, i just about went to uni. i got my girlfriend pregnant right before first semester though :( I had to take a janitor job @ the hospital which is kinda cool b/c I’ve managed to experiment with a huge variety of drugs that you’ll never find at any school.
downside is I get sick alot via cleaning up other peoples diseases and poor ventilation.
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AltBro wannabe.
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lame post crls
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this ‘bro’ is actually a ‘faggot’
in case u were confused
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//////////Reply by lol
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 12:08 am
@dumb faggot, rofl.
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will carles go from chitty blogbro to authentic indiebro via emo samples and chao rin?
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hey guys, i need some advice!!
I recently started buying a lot of physical albums [via guilt about s00 much piracy]!!
I realized today, that all my physical albums are:
LCD Soundsystem ‘Sound of Silver’
A-Trak ‘Infinity + 1′
MF DOOM (as Madvillain) ‘Madvillainy’
Amanda Blank ‘I Love You’
Spank Rock ‘Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo’
Spank Rock + Benny Blanco ‘Bangers & Cash’ (they was on sale on amazon!!)
Kid Cudi ‘Man On The Moon’
Chromeo ‘Fancy Footwork’ [collector's ed, with the xtra cd called 'Fancier Footwork']
Arctic Monkeys ‘Humbug’ [have the other 2, but cant find them, :( ]
’several’ fabric/fabriclive mixes [via monthly electo cd in the mail from england, only 6 euros a month!!]
and the soundtrack for the movie xXx, staring Vin Diesel
Is this an authentic CD collection to display to any potential mates i can get to chill on my fold-down futon in my dorm??
should i get more __________??
plz help!!
just want the best CD collection to display to ensure the maximum amount of bjs!!
thx bros!!
PS- Totes have mad gigs of albums+high quality rare singles on my hard drive, so don’t worry about that. Just feel concerned about my CDs!!
<3<3<3!!!
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//////////Reply by lol
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 12:46 am
@aw, fukk, lolol
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//////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 1:56 am
@aw, fukk,
U poor soul.
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//////////Reply by Rusko
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
@BlipsterCambridge, are u new here
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
@aw, fukk, <3 u bro.
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with that haircut and hat? collegebro.
carles i think its time to consider moving the goalposts for altbro and altbag back. make a post about this and show altbags that will be demoted to altbros in 2k10 for not keeping it alt enough.
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//////////Reply by BlipsterCambridge
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 1:58 am
@mainstreamer,
Go back to kanye’s blog.
Heard he <3s u,
mnstrmr.
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fear the metabro
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted October 6th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
@anonybro, thought this said ‘meatbro’, got rly excited, then soo depressed
:-/
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douche-bro?
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i reached you through muxtape. is this really what you want is smashing. anxious for the ep.
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brorchata. it’s hard to say, it will be like a new secret handshake that you do with your mouth.
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the “Jesus Christ” (indie band) mp3 seems chill, its a good attempt at adopting a depressing/grunge sensibility in times of crisis. But still i think its from kinda to fucking gay. You need to get rid of ‘chillwave’ fluff and Sofia Coppola.
the new aesthetic to colonize has to be more grimm/frostbitten/depressive black metal.
thats why theres tons of fVcking hipster fggtZ posers joining XASTHUR groups on facebook to be ‘TR00 KVLT’. And theres already this guy called LITURGY who does BURZUM ripoffs and does gigs with gang gang dance.
This is potentially going to be big IMO.
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“jesus christ”
http://www.trashmenagerie.com/blog/2009/10/06/jesus-christ-the-indie-band-debut-single/
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brodawg
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yellowcard bro
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v2.(br)0
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bros like this are all potentially boring; the closest they get to interesting is making their chili with pbr and not generic beer.
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Does any1 here want 2 fuck?
this is not a metaphor
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this kid looks like he just hopped outta the cradle, definitely not of age and totally immature….what a full blown tool, think’s he’s the shit with that blingy-ass watch…he probly can’t even spell his own name. he probly does some super gay shit like snowboarding or meth or circle jerks or something else of that category
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What happened to SmartBro?
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i know this fella, he’s canadian and in high school.
do appreciate the discussion on hip american universities though
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