As yall know, I am a vegan/vegetarian. I am looking for a good alternative for ’serving turkey’ on Thanksgiving. I wasn’t able to make it home for this Thanksgiving, but fortunately, there’s a few people staying behind in our dorm. Hopefully we can come together as a community to create a memorable experience. Even though the food might not be the best in the world, maybe we should be thankful for all of the options we have to eat in America/the World.
Do u know any good alternatives to ‘turkey’ on Thanksgiving?
Kashi frozen pizza?
Snackwell’s Devil’s Food?
Hummus?
Miscellaneous biscuits + cinnamon rolls [via cans]?
7 layer Mexi Dip?
Chili’s Babyback ribs?
CLIF bars?
Soft Pretzels?
Guacky?
Taking my family on an annual trip to Golden Corral 4 authentic buffet style slop dining?
Couple bags of Pirate’s booty?
Peanut Butter Cup milkshake?
Chex mix sweet and salty?
Zany dorito flavors?
A bento box?
Some tubes of gogurt?
a kid-sized serving of fun?
A duck marinated in Sparks?
turkey with PBR sauce?
Yall…
what should I buy to celebrate an alternative thnxgvng?
R u having a mnstrm thnxgvng or an alt 1?
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79 Comments
definitely the duck marinated in sparks…
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//////////Reply by Firsties
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 12:08 am
@g0uki, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MICQZrdM8I
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//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 2:21 am
@Firsties, i h8 u
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//////////Reply by chong
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
@Firsties, <3 u
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ewwww!
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Definitely a fan of the zany doritos. And tofurkey is fucking nasty. Would say something meaningful, but cant. Happy Thanksgiving yall.
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‘Miscellaneous biscuits + cinnamon rolls [via cans]?’
lol/damn
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//////////Reply by hmm,
//////////Posted November 25th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
@Kenny G, i know, i loled as well.
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def goin with the turky w/pbr sawce
I give thanks this year 4 HRO in my studio apt dinner table feasting a quaint meal of snack cakes and alt beverages (pbr, shasta, maybe even faygo for irony)
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Just went to Trader Joe’s and ate a sample of Tofurkey. It tasted horrible, and didn’t feel very authentic.
Think I may eat Native American food for Thanksgiving (via Thanksgiving originating as a holiday celebrated by white colonists who massacred Natives). Feel pumpkin pie might be an ambiguous Thanksgiving foodstuff.
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Think you should ask the brooklynvegan. He is also a vegan/vegetarian blog.
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//////////Reply by lil bro
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 8:35 am
@brobro, just loled
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//////////Reply by megatitz
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
@brobro, brooklynveganbro knows all.
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cheap Chinese takeout is the way to go for grub
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//////////Reply by Al X
//////////Posted November 25th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
@glitz, thx azns!
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in my culture we don’t celebrate thanksgiving.
that’s all.
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//////////Reply by hmm,
//////////Posted November 25th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
@jc, via jehovah’s witnesses/british?
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//////////Reply by jc
//////////Posted November 25th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
@hmm, via mexico
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//////////Reply by hmm,
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
@jc, oh i see. feliz dia de accion de gracias.
who is that penguin on the kid cuisine box suppose to appeal to?
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//////////Reply by catty
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 1:34 am
@anonymous, ur stomach
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brown food. nuff said.
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lmao carles, so funny.
Bento boxes seem pretty alt to me, kinda on the verge of mainstream though so nobody feels left out.
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tao lin got that juz u want
cum n get it
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//////////Reply by always
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 12:37 am
@tao, i gets my joose froma cona sto on the real yo
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my ‘bros/broettes’ and i are having an mnstrm thnxgvng with alt vibes/entertainment/conversation. sorta ironic. thinkin bout givin a speech about the true meaning of altsgiving, i.e. that there is no best buzzband, and that art/music is about ultimately about ‘personal preference/choosing favorites on the basis of defining your personal aesthetic’. also that we alts should pity the fool/mnstrmrs because they are ‘fucking dipshits’ in an endearing sort of way. kind of like your cousin who became retarded because of ‘the accident at the petting zoo’.
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//////////Reply by graa
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 2:46 am
@michhhael, didnt know a broette existed, thx bro
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//////////Reply by zombiescan'tdance
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 5:35 am
@graa, yeah, thnx. I always just called them “bro-ladies”. Broette is much classier.
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//////////Reply by michhhael
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
@zombiescan’tdance, no problem, fellow bros. i have a problem with broettes, bros. i feel like society (via american ‘pie’) wants me to try ‘get fucking laid’ by broettes, but what if i want to ‘respect their opinions’ on ‘alt topics’ like the new anCo EP? does that mean i’m a ‘gay-bro’? maybe i should have been in the girls video for lust for life (you may or may not have seen the ‘nakey’ version, vry nsfw imho)? do i really deserve to sing into the ‘cockamaphone’ for the rest of my life because i respect broettes? dilemma, bros, dilemma.
//////////Reply by zombiescan'tdance
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 1:05 am
@zombiescan’tdance, i know the feeling, bro. i mean, usually i want to ‘talk’ to broettes, and ‘respect their opinions’, AND ‘get fucking laid’ by broettes, but it varies from broette to broette. but just because i may want to ‘have sex’ with a broette, and ‘beat up’ their ‘boxes’, that doesn’t mean that i think of them as just ‘cock-garages’. Broettes are people too, but sometimes they think that i don’t think i see them as people, or ‘respect’ them because i want to ‘ride’ their ‘donks’. Why do they always think the two are mutually exclusive?
//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
@zombiescan’tdance, feel like this street has 2 wayz. sometimes just want 2 ‘bone the fuck’ out of my altest bros. they r just chill guyz who i like to ‘discuss music’ with and maybe ’smoke fatties’ but they are also hot altbros with hard peens that i sometimes think about. wish we could create an alternative society in which we could sleep with our alt friends. think this may be too complicated (via feelings) and might lead to creepy polyamory.
had tofurky last thanksgiving. family is hippies..
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frying a turkey/catching my house on fire
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted November 25th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
@eyepatch, always thought it was funny/2 involved 2 fry the toykey
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//////////Reply by zombiescan'tdance
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 5:39 am
@b4hc, yeah, the family i ate thanksgiving dinner with last year fried their turkey. it seemed very unnecessary.
also, wouldn’t you need a really big deep frier to fry a turkey? A turkey is probably the only thing in its size range that you’d need a big deep frier for. Can anyone else think of something turkey-sized that you would want to deep fry?
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//////////Reply by Bertrand DeNovo
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 1:17 am
@zombiescan’tdance, a dog.
if you get the tofurkey, be sure to get the “vegetarian feast” and cook the tofurkey with real vegetables. The wishstix and gravy make it much more authentic (to not eating meat via the oven).
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//////////Reply by Bebe
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 4:51 am
@j0sh, in my freezer right now
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also looking for alt thxgvg. living in hongkong and idk if aznz ‘do’ turkey other than ‘lunchmeat’
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need the ‘celebration roast’
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missin u flowers4algae
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//////////Reply by catty
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 1:43 am
@b4hc, same y’all
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//////////Reply by flowers' bro
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 2:45 am
@catty, agr’d
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do turkey come in individual wrapped packages
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peanut butter n jelly sammich and call it a day. get a good hike in, though. thanksgiving is great for hikes and being outdoors.
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how has no one said horchata yet?
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//////////Reply by lil bro
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 8:42 am
@Lauren, we was waiting for yall to say it lauren
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Mashy tatoes (w/gravies).
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PBR + cocaine + hipster orgy + elbo.ws top ten
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CHICKEN [via in a biscuit]
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//////////Reply by christian
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
@ThanksGivingFan, “via in a biscuit”? via buscuit….
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//////////Reply by ThanksGivingFan
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@christian, Yeah I knew it sounded a little off… had to squeeze it in there somehow tho. #viafail
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i did the tofurky thing the first year i was vegan. that shit is fucking TERRIBLE.
this year i’m doing fried pumpkin seed encrusted tofu with cranberry relish as a meat replacer.
~*all grown up yall*~
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//////////Reply by lil bro
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 8:43 am
@oliviar, chill top chef
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//////////Reply by oliviar
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 9:37 am
@lil bro, get over it
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
@oliviar, would eat that tofu w u
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I’m going to eat PUSSY
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 2:23 am
@amie, mine is open on holidays and vegan friendly
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the best thing to eat on thanksgiving is anus
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//////////Reply by Bebe
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 4:52 am
@eliza thornberry, hey I heard u can talk to animals
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//////////Reply by eliza thornberry
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
@Bebe, only when im supa drunk
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Miracle Whip
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//////////Reply by hmm,
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 10:39 am
@Sonia, we will not tone it down..
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ramen noodles
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Damn, Tofurky looks like someone put some vomit inside of a hot dog.
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 2:26 am
@Chrises, dude dating a vegetarian is the worst because when you make those comments they go off on how you’re eating literal vomit when yr just ‘tryn 2 chill’ n ‘eat this bratwurst rite here’
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//////////Reply by Chrises
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 2:41 am
@lolz,
envy yr wurst
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im unthankful for anco’s disappointing EP
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//////////Reply by shamu
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 4:20 am
@graa, We were all thinking it….Unfortunately I was going to give you my copy[via illegal downloading and burning to a blank cdr to impress my friends with when they got in my prius prior to the cd release date] in celebration of our secular alt holiday season. Sorry bro, looks like all you’re getting this year is judged by rabid anco fans.
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
@shamu, think they got more alt after sung tungs. miss the tribal beats. 1/2 anco > 1/1 anco.
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nah my mom is making the best alt thanksgiving ever because it is gluten-free. she even published it on her website
Prosciutto with Persimmons
Johnnycakes with Peekytoe Crab
Cider-Glazed Turkey
Boston Brown Bread Stuffing with Bacon and Tarragon
Yukon Gold Potato and Wild Mushroom Gratin
Roasted Yam Puree
Sauteed Green Beans with Crisp Garlic
Cornmeal Pound Cake with Rosemary Syrup, Poached Apples, and Candied Rosemary
Caramel-Pumpkin Pie with Mincemeat Ice Cream
my momz cooking is alt as fukk. even the marshmallows are gonna be handcrafted coconut ones imported from barbados or suum shit my mom is fukking crazie
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 2:55 am
@lolz, gluten free is chill
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//////////Reply by lil bro
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 8:44 am
@lolz, why bother commenting. just jack off to ur own picture instead and save us from reading ur shit.
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 9:31 am
@lil bro, jealz?
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//////////Reply by Wannabe
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 10:47 am
@lolz, mmmmm gluten free. soooo caucasian of you haa.
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 4:34 am
@Wannabe, i knowz! lolz!!!! but this way my tummy doesn’t hurt after dins, which may not be ‘authentic
but surely is ‘alt’
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//////////Reply by ashley
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 12:45 am
@lolz, definitely no exactly wut u mean. gfree is so much easier on your body but still with the ‘alt’ edge
//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
@lolz, my tummy hurt after eating, but thats cuz i ate s00 much!!! [via being strangely patriotic[via sillie jim gaffigan jokes]]
Spam, duh
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you could but anything on a miscellaneous biscuit.
i like those odds..
oh yeah once my mother served up a vegetarian haggis (tofu boiled in the stomach of a tofu). it was chewy and harrowing, surprised it doesnt qualify as the ultimate Alt Holiday food.
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 5:43 am
@luxlux, that sounds fucking terrible
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//////////Reply by luxlux
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 6:42 am
@lolz, oh gosh it was. i think the real deal might have been more palatable.
and im a vegetarian.
but then, is alt eating now all about the junk food, like ‘i can eat this i dont care ill always be this lovely and skinny’..
or does the old puritanism still apply, like, the more tofu, the less flavour, the better your credibility? :)
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 9:33 am
@luxlux, i think alt eating has always been about doing ‘whatever the fukk u want’. doin what u want makes u ‘authentic’.
//////////Reply by Wannabe
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 10:45 am
@luxlux, word.. i dont even understand. how come you alts dont get fat off all that pbr everyday?slash-munchies from weed? it must be the coke…
//////////Reply by lurrr
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
@luxlux,
Kerns Nectarine (the kind from a milk carton) is authentic.
http://www.blueberry.org/news/P1010067Kerr%20Banana%20Blueberry.JPG
pretty mainstream, but pretty chill.
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Your last 3 entries have sucked as hell!
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
@ih8you,
’sucked as well’
or
’sucked like hell’ which also doesn’t really quite make sense…
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Tofurkey is the worst stuff ever. I don’t know anybody, even my ‘vegetarian friends’, who have tried it without wanting to ‘hurl’.
the only reason the tofurkey company hasn’t gone out of business is because the name tofurkey is so catchy. every year, theres a whole group of new ‘vegetarians’ who decide to try it because of the name.
if “Tofurkey” was a song, it’d be “Achey Breaky Heart”.
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just eat vegetables! tofurky is absolutely horrid.
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//////////Reply by Chrises
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 2:42 am
@kait,
for real
I lived with a vegan for awhile who ate nothing but meat-shaped soy products. it was surreal.
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RUn this OFF sucka turkeys!
http://www.mediafire.com/?jt5zniuiznm
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heyy.im vegetarian too. my whole family is. We have veggie burgers mostly. but this year i’m making curry tofu with potatoes, chick peas, etc. its fucking ace.
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A reflection on Thnxgvng: http://funkyrutabaga.tumblr.com/post/258373355/a-reflection-on-thnxgvng-feel-its-plausible-ill
Feel Apricot Goat Cheese Spread is an authentic Thnxgvng foodstuff.
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mainstream tgiving 4 me but no worries im spicing things up w an ugly sweater vest yall
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Pumpkin/squash is hella authentic new world. Also, america is a melting pot y’all. All the peeps r here. I’m making squash pizza with british cheddar. Risotto with some funky shroom red wine sauce. Salad w/ some pumpkin seeds and goat cheese and cider vinaigrette. Breads with some garles on it. Pumpkin pie with like walnut crust and orange whipper on top.
Fam is small post ‘drama’ so chillin lowkey drinking lots of homemade altbeer and some altcider. Prob listen to some entry level innocu-alt like xx or maybe some nostalj from 2k6.
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what even is thanksgiving? sounds like a whole load of bullshit to me.
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//////////Reply by hmm,
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 2:27 am
@kachoo, thanking god for the guns and smallpox we used to create america (via killing natives and shipping them off to oklahoma)
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mnstrm thxgvng trky but w/ “soup kitchen” style side dishes, aka, out of a bag/box/can
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corn bread
collard greens
baked macaroni and cheese
yams
sweet patatoe pie
chitlins
turkey/fried chicken
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//////////Reply by funky_rutabaga
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
@blipster, Think I want to attend your Thnxgvng dinner.
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//////////Reply by bro-d stewart
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
@blipster, don’t foget sum purple drank
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Everyone trys to hard to be dif. :(
:p
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//////////Reply by gaston
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
@Spoon, tru
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Napples?
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mainstream or alt ? is that a serious question ? I hope to fuck this is some form of satire. if not light yourself on fire. if thats “alt” enough for you
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//////////Reply by uh
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
@this,
Scare quotes and self-conscious abbreviations not enough of a clue for you? Maybe look around at some other posts. Since you took the time to comment.
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//////////Reply by broseph stalin
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
@this, via vietnam era monks?
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thank u so much i just vomit eeeeed
ur the blessed
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//////////Reply by black mars
//////////Posted November 26th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
@black mars, i too am @black mars.
mnstrm is alt.
killing yr self is “tweetable”
digiduck a la sparks is hella.
dennis black, instant classic
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I went to Cafe Gratitude in San Francisco. It was a free raw vegan organic local produce Thanksgiving dinner. it was hella delicious. they do it every year so come to sf next year yall.
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yo at my crib imma deep fry a bottle of grey goose, heat the oven for my joose, and eat peyote like a real indian yo.keepin thanksgivygive on the strenf yo.
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fed my hamsters a turkey leg
they climbed on it
one is hurt, i think it fell off the top of the turkey leg
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
@tao, bro did u ever send those artworks
feel too intimidated to email you re this issue
hro seems pressure free
read further down on this page, apparently you are dead from a car accident, sorry for bothering you, am i just ‘out my money’, did you have a ‘contingency plan’ in case you died, ugh so fucking worried hro is NOT pressure freeeeee fuck fuck fuck fuck fukc
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
@aw, fukk, damn, im not as unchill as that last paragraph portrayed me
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i had an illegal immigrant over for thanksgiving dinner, no joke. i out-alt all of you!
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//////////Reply by tangs
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 1:54 am
@elijah, I EMM an illegl. I win.
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//////////Reply by tangs
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 1:54 am
@tangs, oh, an mad cream corms
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Doesn’t matter unless your together with loved one.
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//////////Reply by Willd
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 7:33 am
@elijah
Or Zany foreign people who don’t know anything about Thanksween.
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damn, none of my fav blogs/websites have updated for like 2 days. h8 thanksgivings and americans now
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this isn’t even a post, just a list of food…slackin carles
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//////////Reply by jmi
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
@ok ok,
srsly, i do not usually rip on his posts but this one was def a phone-in
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lft overs + no fam
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//////////Reply by gaston
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
@fatandcute, aww =(
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h8 big soft pretzels and everything they stand for.
(excluding annie’s cinnamon and sugz.)
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yall must be silly. tofurkey is dank as hell. had 4 at our vegan danksgiving potluck.
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went 2 bars w/ old highschoolbuddies, felt real chill when my main bro i hadn’t talk to in years was also in2 chillwave bands i was in 2, we both agreed on in it be a passing fade at the same time hoping it wasn’t, guess thats what chillwave is about when you think about it. sort of like a dream you only member till like noonish…
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damn, Carles is really letting this post ‘marinate’ on the front page here
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//////////Reply by landoz
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
@skybeard, nice one
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//////////Reply by lurrr
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
@skybeard,
That is fucking hilarious. I think I’m in love with you.
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@ my house we just make a zillion pb&j sandwiches+mac&cheese+funfetti cake. we save the turkey for xmas dinner
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carles you were high when you posted this
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How alt would it be if this was the last hro post ever!
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yo… tao is dead guys…
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//////////Reply by jerryseinfelds
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
@joe,
?????
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//////////Reply by joe
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
@jerryseinfelds, hes like, legit dead you guys..
he was in a car accident.
i found out from a mutual friend, frank.
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//////////Reply by duhfuqq
//////////Posted November 28th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
@joe, holy shit, i heard about this but i thought it was a joke.
r.i.p. crls<333 uuu
//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
@joe, he’s twittering from his grave!
http://twitter.com/tao_lin
Wish I had a pizza and a bottle of wine for thxgiving
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
@lurrr, wish we could like things on hro comments. i “like” this
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wish carles wouldn’t take 5 days to post something new/relevant.
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Crls did you die of a tryptophan overdose?
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stole this from teh twitter, but it’s funnie:
“Thinking of crashing White House Rec Room to watch football with the Prez”
miss u crls
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2 bad hes dead brahs
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where the CRLS at?
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god this is even harder to endure than when hackerbro brought us all 2gether
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s0 not believing crls is ded. Need proof. feel he is ‘immortal’.
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Hey guys- dunno if you checked the HRO twitter lately, but Carles’ last tweet might explain why he hasn’t been blogging http://twitter.com/hipsterrunoff/status/6183463056
Hope it isn’t true, but ya never know.
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//////////Reply by a_nonnie_muss
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
@Carles done posting?, WHYYYYYY
Maybe he’ll go into podcasts. His last one was interesting.
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//////////Reply by like clockwork
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
@Carles done posting?, got tired. missed a day. continued to miss days. decided to make it memey.
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//////////Reply by eyepatch
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
@Carles done posting?, T_T
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cum back carlz
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Re: XMU
I had a meltdown that ended a relationship. Badly…so I truly enjoyed your comments on XMU about relationship termination today.
Thank you!
Tom
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