Photo by easyfashion
As yall know, I am about to graduate high school, and I missed most of the design school application deadlines/I am ‘too suburban’ to even know what ‘design’ is yet, and that u can buy a Macbook and go 2 college in a meaningful city to learn abt it. I don’t wanna go to normal college, learning the same bullshit over and over… I have always been more of a creative spirit, making all A’s in my art + photography classes, and sometimes even creating meaningful lil projects in my own time. I have always had a strong interest in how I look, and I have always found a way to put together sweet Halloween costumes. Maybe I should go to Hair & Makeup College?
I really want to learn something that will help me help other people in ways that people don’t usually appreciate. I believe that if I can make a man or woman feel better about himself/herself through something as simple as a haircut or ‘makeover’, then maybe I did a lil bit of good in the world. I know that some of the best highs I have experienced in life happen when I look in the mirror, and I ‘look as interesting/relevant as a famous person.’ I might never be a real famous person, but I think I can put myself in a position to be around them, and have them ‘vent’ about their personal problems 2 me.
It’s kinda weird how an artist can have so many different sets of tools. Just so many different types of art… I’d rather have this kind of artistic job instead of a desk job. Those people are fucking trapped in their shitty lives’.
I feel like I really ‘understand’ how hair works, since I have been a bisexual emo tween since age 10, often using cutting-edge techniques to achieve some of the world’s most alt haircuts. I have use extensions, bleach, hydrogen peroxide, sun in, razor blades, miscellaneous clipper technology, and even human placenta.
(Sometimes u have to think outside the box to bring ur ideas 2 life.)
I have a 10 year plan. I understand that I will have to ‘pay my dues’ and probably work at a hair salon in the mall for a few years. I think I will save a lot of money, living in an apartment complex within walking distance of the mall, and saving money utilizing the mall employee discount to buy mall pizza, mall pretzels, mall Chinese food, and mall dippin dots/assorted gimmick frozen treats.
I just wanna get a lot of practice on normal people before I work with important + famous people/models. I wouldn’t feel bad ‘butchering the fuck’ out of some overweight wannabe-scene girl’s head.
(I understand that I will sometimes have to ‘make the customer happy’ and abandon my own design aesthetic.)
By year 3, I will try to get on some sort of reality show on Bravo. I honestly believe I can model myself after some of the best reality show characters of all time, in order to ‘make a splash’ on the scene.
I am also talented, too, but I understand that in order to ‘work with famous people’, they must ‘remember me’ as being some sort of free-spirited homosexual character from a notable reality tv show.
It’s just really important to create your own magnificent brand before you pitch your reality show to miscellaneous networks (Bravo, LOGO, Lifetime, MTV2, etc)
I really believe that 1 day I can change the world, and make tons of money. I believe in my design ideas, and that I can paint/chop beautiful shit on human women.
But maybe I am getting ahead of myself. I am just a tween with a dream.
I wonder if the world would be a better place if every1 looked like me.
I wonder if college is ‘bullshit’, and I could just learn how to do hair by watching tons of youtube tutorials on ‘how I do my scene hair & makeup.’
But my parents really want me to ‘go to college’, They say I will have to live at home and get a part time job, since classes are only 2x per week, but I think it will be worth it for my long term happiness. So maybe I should just go to a Hair + Makeup Academy, and meet people who are like me. People who have the same dream as me. Worried + anxious that they might be ‘better than me’, though. Seems like it could be ‘high school all over again’, if every day ppl just try their best to out-look u.
I can’t be scared. I have to follow my dreams.
I want to add a lil bit of colour 2 ur life.
Wish the whole world could look interesting.
I honestly believe 1 day men and women will merge into 1 human.
Want to bond with my classmates, and pull all-niters studying/practicing for our final exams (just like real college).
Maybe I could even save the Middle East by teaching them that their hair is a beautiful thing and they shouldn’t have to cover their shit up any more. Feel like every1 deserves the right to ‘feel sexie.’
I want to change the world.
I want to go to a Hair + Makeup Academy.
I want a real education.
Do u know any1 that went to a hair/makeup college?
Does n e 1 know what ppl who go to these schools end up doing?
What is the current economic forecast for hair stylists + makeup artists?
Will I ‘make it’ in ‘the industry’ if I have a flamboyant personal brand?
Previous AltJob coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/10/what-is-the-most-authentic-alt-job.html
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IAmCarles.com
27 Comments
Null
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FIRST
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//////////Reply by juliet
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 4:49 pm
@polaroid_pancakes, um, correction.
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//////////Reply by polaroid_pancakes
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2009 at 9:05 am
@juliet, well, maybe i should’ve written ‘Eins’ after the ‘Null’ comment…
R U happy now? ;)
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//////////Reply by gism
//////////Posted November 4th, 2009 at 12:14 am
@polaroid_pancakes, u wrote the “null” comment then waited a few minutes
feel guilty for wanting to tie up and fuck the shit outta these scene girls
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//////////Reply by john anybro
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 5:59 pm
@chong, Don’t feel guilty, you’re not the only one.
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//////////Reply by no fish today
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 6:55 pm
@chong, yeah not the only one feeling that way
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firth.
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yup, HRO definitely is irrelevant these days
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//////////Reply by Gainesvillain
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 5:34 pm
@cock*, This shit is so relevant, I can’t tell you how many times I see “OMG First day of Beauty School <3" updates on my news feeds.
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//////////Reply by yayay
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
@cock*, complaining about HRO is no longer “authentic”
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//////////Reply by wisp
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@yayay, it is if you get it and the post IS actually shitty.
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fucking love scene hair on bitches. nothing like a shit ton of MAC and some hairspray to get away with not having a personality.
hope there will always be a certain number of girls who do their hair that way, so i can sexually conquer them. there is something about the aestetic that gives me a chubb. Hope being “scene” never goes away like 70s ski-slope titties or 80s frizzy hair-do-s. It could be like people who still wear safety pins and patches and take punk seriously. sure its a style, but we all know punk is dead and you just like to dressup.
lol at the old millionaires pic too.
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alright. im not sure who crls is. but i am begining to wonder if there is something wrong here. these recent are less funny and more stupid. either bring crls back or make him stop smoking soo much weed.
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 5:26 pm
@wisp, its like there are different people that type stuff on hipster runoff
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//////////Reply by skybeard
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 8:08 pm
@anonymous,
glad that the ‘multiple Carles’ theory is gaining some support. all we need is to ‘posit’ the ‘faculties’ of the whole of the ‘Carles’ authorship.
kind of feel like there is a:
1- top Carles who is the original, possibly Hispanic, who leads the direction of HRO memes and does the ‘voice’ of HRO gimmicks + ventures
2 – an affective Carles who is in charge of making the longer, emotional, ‘classic’ posts
3 – appetitive Carles who is in charge of making ’shitty’ posts
lesser Carles who are in charge of ALT report aggregation + maintaining ’sites’ + fieldwork, brand testing, etc.
it’s possible that these subsections of Carles are made up of even more tinier Carleses.
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//////////Reply by hafez
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
@skybeard, there are definitely at least 2 carleses.
//////////Reply by booyes
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2009 at 1:26 pm
@skybeard,
def making tao lin feel like genius bro
//////////Reply by funky_rutabaga
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 5:30 pm
@wisp, I AM CRLS
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//////////Reply by wisp
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
@funky_rutabaga, really. i could give a shit who crls is. allz i know is….it was funny, now it aint. ‘atsit.
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ex girlie went to beauty school. i gave her a hard time about it because it just sounded like bullshit to me, they kept making her buy new gear and books.
i asked her how much she spent on this beauty school, she said something like 10k, so i slapped her upside the head and said something like “damn girl you could have gotten yourself a used miata or something”
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These chicks are scenesters/stoners, and are not alt whatsoever. Please keep it relevant Crls.
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Its probably better than having these girls tweeting from their sidekicks all day.
At least now they will get out into the “real world” and possibly pay taxes.
Everyone needs a haircut, but i prefer illegal hispanic aliens over scene chicks
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Can’t believe I’m old enough to scoff at the dumb shit kids do. Like post youtube vids of ‘how i do my scene hair.’ Feel like those kids are ‘fucking idiots.’ My kid won’t be a ‘fucking idiot.’ Need to begin proper alt training at an early age or this is what happens. Or is ’scene hair’ something only for ‘the poors?’ Confused by ’scene hair.’ Confused by tweens.
Can’t believe I got old. Not sure who I am anymore. Maybe these tweens are onto something. When I was a tween I knew all the coolest shit. Maybe I should ask my barber for ’scene hair’ when I see him in 2.5 weeks. Maybe I should stop by my local jr high and ask around/look around for the kewlest hair styles.
Maybe I’m not too old to fit in.
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Oh and btw, being a ‘photographer’ is the new being a ’stylist’
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‘damn’ via ‘tao’
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OMG: What if Carles was a gurl?
And ‘Carles’ was short for “Carly”?????????????????
Taste a bit o’ that food for thought.
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//////////Reply by Maxwell
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2009 at 2:31 am
@zxcvb, Nah, I chewed it over and realized that it couldn’t be true cause sometimes his posts are actually funny
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feel like this post is def rellyvent cuz i loled and i am rellyvant 2. one time i woke up at 6am to take a piss and a scene girl gave me a haircut in my kitchen.
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so many who just dont get it..
so many mstrmrs who try to fit in and feel relevant..
miss u 2k7 hro..
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do yall think that Supercuts is naturally ‘more edgy’ in places like BRKLYN compared to stores in Oklahoma?
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i need a pube cut.
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kinda feel like this post is about 4 years 2 late. Seems like crls isnt even tryin or somethin. like he is depressed. yo, crls if you are sad or somethin bro hit me up i can cheer ppl up, im know as the “the funny guy” of my group. put lampshades on my head and shit at prties.
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//////////Reply by skybeard
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 7:16 pm
@DICKZ,
I’m the ’str8 man’ of mine. I tend to become closest with the ‘funny guy’ and provide a good contrast to his antics, often ‘exposing’ the comedic elements of his natural inclinations through my stoicism and maturity.
wish I could +1 you to my crew :(
I think we’d make Carles ROFL and get his serotonin bumpin’
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carles, watch your quotes usage, at end of sentence with ’shitty lives’ there is a closing mark but there was not one to open the quote to begin with. just a heads up
also, scene kids are very interesting. i live in a region with 3 cities, the one to the south being very poor, the one to the north being very rich, and the one in the middle being the biggest and average wealth wise.
the growth and spread of the ’scene’ culture started in the rich area with weak exposure, and eventually spread south to the poors, where kids adapted it in hordes. the trend died out in the north first as well, and today the only scene kids that are ever seen around the region are far to the south.
so i guess the subculture is most prevelant in the white poors, which says a lot
this isn’t to say i wouldn’t fuck a scene girl still. oh how i wish they were still around. the only issue however is that most of them are rail thin and i am left with erectile dysfunction because of their boyish bodies
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 8:18 pm
@conan, sounds meta
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Your posts are too long.
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wish i knew more about 4chan
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//////////Reply by henry
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 8:58 pm
@tao, what are the 4channels about? do they have funnie cat pics?
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//////////Reply by andrew
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 9:05 pm
@tao, wish i knew how to successfully use human placenta as a hair product
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//////////Reply by wisp
//////////Posted November 2nd, 2009 at 11:47 pm
@andrew, its easy. you just have to cook it and eat it.
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//////////Reply by yessum
//////////Posted November 3rd, 2009 at 12:51 am
@tao,
there’s not much to get.
/b/ – what made the news. now it’s used my 17 year olds to hookup via AIM sns
/r9k/ – /b/ with no copypasta [copy/paste troll posts]
although, you may not be able to relate to the level of depravity and loneliness
though its good for nudie pics from ex-gfs
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i don’t think i could ‘get vulnerable’ with anybody that looks like a member of ‘mötley crüe.’
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lol thts funny, my m8 used to go out with the septum gurl
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My closest friend is in hair + makeup school. She got fucked over $5,000 with the first one, but went back for more with the second. Part of me wants to scream at her to do something better since she’s beginning to sound like one of those people whose lives are ‘going to get so much better once i get through this shit hole’ but never do. She’s been in that shit hole for a v. v. v. long time.
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i want hair like that
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yall notice the scene skanks on the mirror pics?, those are those dumb bitches in the millionaires. h8 yall!
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