If I could work for any cutting edge Web 3.0 company, I would probably work for twitter. I use google to find stuff, facebook to look at pix of hot girls, and miscellaneous blogging applications…but I feel like twitter would be a place to call home. Could imagine walking into Twitter every day, being inspired by people who I also inspire, just by existing, being full of life, and wanting to make the world a better place [via social technology]. Seems like a company that wouldn’t even require company email… wonder if they only communicate [via tweets]. 140 chrctrs or less.
I want to work at a place that has a ‘chill zone’/'recreational room.’ Seems like I cold really @relax in this @break_space. Maybe I could read a magazine there, or perhaps sit on my laptop and read tech blogs.
Would also do a lot of ’serious work’, like uploading tweets, twitpics, and even creating hyperlinks. Might ‘get serious’ in a conference call at a long table.
Even though I would be ‘assigned to a cubicle’, it wouldn’t feel as demeaning as a cubicle in a worthless, generic company. Would connect with my coworkers, and wouldn’t feel bad about my progressive web browsing/timewasting. I feel like my boss would understand that ‘general web browsing’ creates a happy, productive employee.
I have heard that Twitter has ‘mad funding.’ Hope this means that there is a breakroom loaded with miscellaneous pastries + CLIF bars + etc.
Defs gonna take advantage of the ‘fully loaded’ refrigerator. Gonna drink Cokes until my teeth ‘fucking rot.’ Hope I don’t get reprimanded for ‘draining’ the food budget…
Might make some meaningful arts and crafts inspired by my employer.
Definitely going to push to get a DJ station installed in the recreation center.
Going to try to take my DJ career to the next level by utilizing ‘trending topics’/
Gonna try to ‘get flirty’ with my female boss, teaching her how to ‘crossfade’ some songs together, and ‘beat match.’ Going to stand behind her, and put my hands on her waist, encouraging her to bounce to the beat of the music.
Just want 2 innovate the world…
Just want 2 innovate ‘communication’…
Just want 2 be ‘myself’ and get paid 4 it….
Want 2 be ‘more than just a resource’…
Just need a workplace 2 call home…
What is ur dream job?
What web 2.0/web 1.0/web 3.0 company would u want 2 work 4?
Does the twitter HQ effectively use space to inspire their employees?
Should all employers be required to provide free food + drink?
WTF is a ‘401K’?
Should I move to ‘Silicon Valley’ and start a microblogging community/real-time search pyramid scheme?
Is it better to be employed or unemployed?
Do u think they are allowed 2 snort blow/addy at work at Twitter, LLC?
Should twitter install ‘parental controls’ for tween twitter users?
Previous ‘memorable’ post about ur perfect career
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/05/my-jobcareer-does-not-align-with-my-true-personal-brand.html
Loading ...
37 Comments
First! actually fucking first!
Reply
//////////Reply by Y
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
@mr. rosewater,
congrats bro
it takes a village.
Reply
//////////Reply by mr. rosewater
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
@Y, the sad thing is that was the highlight of my day. i need to stop doing ‘cool drugs’ and get a life instead of getting excited i was first to comment on an HRO post. thats so 2k7
Reply
//////////Reply by Y
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
@mr. rosewater,
its all good bro
just keep your head
via the tang tangs.
WE ALT THE WORLD
WE ALT THE FUTURE
tee hee
//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Feel like Twitter is the fucking gayest thing ever.
Seems like if you really only wanted to make a blog post with only 140 characters, you could go ahead and do that on any ordinary blog.
Feel, like, extremely angry at homos who are ’so fucking excited about Twitter omg wow lulz it’s so fucking cool’ and people who use it because ‘i need to have one cause every1 else does ya’ll!’
Feel like I’m sick of hearing every person on npr think they are so cute cause they know how to tweet.
Really hoping to see Twitter’s demise in 2k10.
tl;dr I’m angry at twitter
Reply
//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 10:18 pm
@d00dz, huh, that just happened
Reply
just realized now i’ve had a twitter since february.
must have made it while i was drunk. my first/only tweet was “i’m really glad i stopped drinking sparks” at 3am.
Reply
twitter is the worst fuckin thing ever
Reply
hate twitter. waiting for it’s death and subseckuent graveyard status. afraid for the future. wish all the hot girls who add me were real.
Reply
lol what up
Reply
It’d be nice if you’d give credit for the photos.
Reply
//////////Reply by karlheinz
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
@ryan, naw
Reply
I work at Twitter and it sucks! We haven’t even made a single dollar of profit yet. Don’t think we will ever because we don’t have a monetization strategy and or any business sense.
Reply
//////////Reply by peepshow
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
@Air Biscuits & Gray,
what exactly do you do at twitter?
are the work colleague broads alt babes or more entry lvl?
feel free to go into detail
Reply
//////////Reply by Air Biscuits & Gray
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 11:27 am
@peepshow,
I work with the dick-slap founders who can’t seem to get any backing for this travelling circus of theirs although we have sh*t loads of traffic and unique visitors and the media won’t shut up about us. I will call myself Circus Conductor just to stay anonymous.
Reply
//////////Reply by Air Biscuits & Gray
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 11:30 am
@peepshow,
FYI – I banged this hipster chick that works in Marketing.
What if I hate twitter? What are some other (equally alt) jobs? You know, just to work at while finishing art school.
Reply
feel like twitter is a place for ppl ‘getting too excited and making things’
Reply
@CRLS, you’re hired.
Reply
tumblr > twitter.
Reply
Had a phone interview with googs once. Went downhill once I started talking about my idea for google universe (cataloging of the cosmos). They gonna steal that shit one day, I knows it. At least now I don’t have to live in Palo Alto and can suck at the dessicated teat of California unemployment benefits where ever I see fit.
Reply
//////////Reply by no fish today
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 11:03 am
@Blackface Killah, palo alto is awesome blossom
Reply
lol good post
(eff twitter btw)
Reply
I’d work for the web 4.0 company HRO
<3 u Carles
Reply
//////////Reply by jvac
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
@Myth, me too! lets move to silicon valley together crlsss
Reply
yeah… think working 4 HRO might be a “dream job”. Think I wouldn’t give 2 shits about my companies “monetization strategy” i’d just get my “teeth rot” on and “ca$h my check$”
Reply
can u really snort addys??!
Reply
//////////Reply by brittany
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
@daffy, lol
Reply
//////////Reply by chong
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
@daffy, can u really snort coca-cola?
Reply
need drugs y’all
pls
Reply
always ‘hope there will b CLIF bars there’
Reply
LOL @ BOSS DJ
Reply
Wonder if pitchfork.blogspot.edu is hiring?
Reply
you’re freaking hilarious man. almost the only music blog worth paying attention to. keep it up please
Reply
Feel working for a web 3.0 company is not alt. Feel the companies it is alt to work for are AmAppy, Whole Foods, and Hornitos.
Reply
//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 1:24 am
@funky_rutabaga, Worked for Whole Foods Bowery location (NYC yall). It wasn’t alt. It was 36 (like seriously I still don’t believe that number) languages, lots of FOBs (immigrants fresh off the boat), lots of “Who the hell is Michael Pollan? Marion Nestle?”, cultural confusion, and people who didn’t give two tugs on a dead dog’s cock about environmental justice, equality, institutional corruption, or systemic failures of our international food system. i mostly made salads for european tourists and wealthy people who lived upstairs.
met an alt baguette on top of a soda vending machine at the Broken Social Scene concert as the golden sunset’s rays graced Coney Island’s Cyclone and ferris wheel at Siren Music Fest 2k8 who changed my life, made me late for work the next day, got me fired.
nothing but love for Whole Foods. it seriously was a fun summertime job, but totes not alt. (rumor has it the CEO voted for dubya twice!)
Reply
//////////Reply by brittany
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 3:35 am
@SilverTell, wow, that’s somethin’ else.
Reply
the kanye post was monumental, carles. i still have the link to it in my facebook profile text box thing.
Reply
//////////Reply by apreludes
//////////Posted November 18th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
@apreludes, aw rats, wrong post
Reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lux_7MIUlNc&feature=channelhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lux_7MIUlNc&feature=channel
Reply
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lux_7MIUlNc&feature=channel
Reply
ed droste deleted his twitter
Reply
Without Miley Cyrus to creep on, twitter isn’t worth the effort.
Reply
Am i the only one who feels like Twitter is the opposite of alt? Like, Twitter is so obviously self promoting/whoring when the alt way to go about that is on ur own blog/vague & mysterious facebook status.
AMIRITE!?
Reply
//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 1:39 am
@Lauren, Lauren do you live in Philly? Did you see The Phenomenal Handclap Band open up for The xx at Friday’s Making Time?
i also believe vague and mysterious facebook statuses 2 b alt. they come across nonchalant like you have a life outside facebook and mysterious like you’re deep or have something worth sharing. neither of which is usually true.
you know what else if fun, replying to your friends’ posts containing meaningful lyrics from alt buzz bands. most people want to ascertain “the song” by What Band from Where Did You Hear About That Album. I go right for questions about the interpretations of the song’s meaning or the what the sonic qualities evokes in my spirit.
… bc im alt. helplessly alt.
Reply
//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 1:40 am
@SilverTell, slash “may have an undiagnosed personality disorder”
Reply
//////////Reply by Lauren
//////////Posted November 19th, 2009 at 6:09 am
@SilverTell, There’s something wrong with you, there’s something wrong with me too.
Reply
that chick(?) is gonna bump the needle on her(?) record if she(?) scratches like that
Reply
is this rlly what you what?
is this rlly what you what?
is this rlly what you what?
is this rlly what you what?
is this rlly what you what?
is this rlly what you what?
is this rlly what you what?
is this rlly what you what?
Reply
miss u livejournal
h8 u twitter
<3 u ?xanga?
Reply
I used to work downstairs from the twitter offices, I wish I still worked there so I could bump into Shaq in the elevator.
Reply
Grateful dead archivist dream job. twitters lame, self absortion at its worse, unless it helps u score bud
Reply
i wish to be an intern for AnCo, they would give me treats and stuff cause they are cool dads. I would get them coffees and maybe one day panda bear would teach me how to sample.
Reply
Yo dogs, check out me twiits
http://www.twitter.com/mypenisisoutanditislarge
Reply
How in the fuck do my roommate and friend both end up in the background of the HR homepage in the past month on separate occasions.
Reply
Too many lols, can’t take it.
Reply