Photo via Lastnitesparty
A group of alts
in the middle of the street
looking up at the stars
dreaming big dreams
One boy dreams of starting a buzzband which garners critical acclaim from multiple blogsites.
One girl dreams of becoming an alt model
One boy dreams of starting a t-shirt line
One girl dreams of ‘becoming the next Karen O/M.I.A.’
One alt dreams of opening up the best alternative nightclub in town
One alt dreams of starting the blogosphere’s next great influential website, making millions of AmAppy dollars from banner ads
One alt dreams of starting a zany twitter/tumblr meme blog and getting a book deal
One alt dreams of living in the wilderness for 2 years and constructing an EP from field-recordings of flora and/or fauna.
One alt dreams of
One alt dreams of interning for Marc Jacobs (would settle for a Project Runway contestant).
One alt dreams of working at an alternative PR + marketing firm, and helping to ‘create’ the next great indie band.
One alt dreams of designing the ‘next twitter/facebook/friendster/iphone app.’
One alt dreams of becoming a photographer who shoots progressive borderline pornography/barely-legals.
One alt dreams of becoming the ‘next Miranda July’/relevant performance artist.
One alt dreams of ‘reviving electro’ as the world’s next great DJ.
One alt dreams of giving up his life in the next Electro/Conceptro War.
One alt dreams of becoming an alternative celebrity for ‘doing nothing.’
One alt dreams of putting together ‘the next great music festival.’
so many boys
so many girls
so many alts
so many dreams.
We moved to this city
to ‘run this town’
and I gotta feeling
(that 2nites gonna be a good nite)
and also
that if we keep networking
having fun
meeting fascinating human beings with similar interests
being inspired by life
good things will come our way.
Dream big.
Dream alt.
Dream dreams.
We///were///alts.
/////////////
What is ur biggest alternative dream?
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61 Comments
nice mon
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what’s between the legs of the girl with the pink leggings.. ?
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//////////Reply by Preteentious
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 8:00 pm
@wago waan tha’ don,
MY DICK
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//////////Reply by uh
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
@wago waan tha’ don, a… skirt? shit, novel concept. and they aren’t leggings, they’re tights.
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//////////Reply by WAGO WAAN THA' DON
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 10:42 pm
@uh, wrong. correct answer was a fucking vagina you inbred son of a gun. and i can careless about the proper nomenclature of a woman’s close – pussy got no face anyhow nigga
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//////////Reply by uh
//////////Posted November 24th, 2009 at 12:04 am
@WAGO WAAN THA’ DON, you’re so damn ~fuNNie, congrats
//////////Reply by WAGO WAAN THA' DON
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 10:43 pm
@uh, wrong. correct answer was a fucking vagina you inbred son of a gun. and i can careless about the proper nomenclature of a woman’s clothes – pussy got no face anyhow nigga
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to marry u
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this was an epic moment in the history of alt, but a bigger leap for mankind.
fuckin l00serz.
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s00 inspiring carles
i dream of dropping out of college and starting an irrelevant garage rock band, touring the country in a beat up broken down van, living hand to mouth, releasing a few albums (pitchfork reviews one, calls it derivative and gives it a 5.3), garnishing a small cult following until rampant drug and alcohol use tears us apart
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 9:09 pm
@joe, nah. stay in college. tour during the summer with your friend whose actually in a ‘really up and coming rock band that’s kind of a mix of ____ and _____. we were so wasted lykke at every show’
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
@joe,
feel like I could see myself aligning my personal brand with your band.
keep me updated.
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//////////Reply by striz
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 pm
@joe, wierd
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wet dreams
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getting a job as a claims adjuster
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm
@slappy, u make me want to listen to the three YACHT songs i have on loop for ~37 minuets
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one alt dreams of norway
one alt dreams of moving to alaska
n gettin eaten by bears[via tv]
one alt dreams of doing a line w/ lindsay lohan
one alt dreams of a zany relevant post
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//////////Reply by gammazord
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 7:04 pm
@samuel bell maxey,
u mean norway as in the new beach house song right???
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//////////Reply by sb maxey
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 10:52 pm
@gammazord, no i listen to the radio at my beach house.
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these alts are copying ‘the notebook;’ ryan gosling and rachel mcadams laid down in a moonlit street on their first date. wondering if these alts are gonna have an orgy later then.
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my alt dream is to bang Leighton Meester sideways
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I didn’t read any of this
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all these dreams are about self fullfillment in the most shallow, instant gratification kind of way.
I dream of a world where everyone has access to education regardless of age and class, where homophobia is non-existent, where people value their lives and dont plann on dying in “the next electro/contracepto” war.
seriously. Is that dreaming big for hipsters?
you realize this is WHY the whole world hates hipsters.
stop being elitist self-centered spoiled bags of doushe.
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//////////Reply by Preteentious
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 8:02 pm
@Wannabe,
bro. chill. listen to some washed out with me, all that shit won’t matter anymore. we’ll go to the beach and lie down, it will be meaningful.
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 8:24 pm
@Wannabe, sounds like somebody needs a pizza and a bottle of wine
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//////////Reply by brittany
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 8:56 pm
@chilisfan, LOL
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm
@Wannabe,
what’s an authentic alt like you to do in a post-authentic world?
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 9:40 pm
@Wannabe, TL;DR
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
@Wannabe, lol, do u meta-’get it’
s0 confused
not sure if i should feel superior or inferior to your relevancy
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//////////Reply by chong
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
@Wannabe,
r u MLKjrbro?
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//////////Reply by awjeezd00d
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 6:59 am
@Wannabe,
u sound like hackerbro
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//////////Reply by Wannabe
//////////Posted November 24th, 2009 at 10:36 am
@awjeezd00d, not a hacker. not a bro either. just alt w.heart.
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One alt dreams of living in the wilderness for 2 years and constructing an EP from field-recordings of flora and/or fauna.
Reference to Jeff Mangum via Neutral Milk Hotel dismanteling?
K
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to capture your attention
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//////////Reply by hey anony anony
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 9:11 pm
@striz, to make the alt report
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I dream of reviving Chihuahua City, Mexico
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i wanna be the next dave chappelle only without the tv show but with the equal amount of admiration for the quality of my material and confusion as to my whereabouts. thats my alt dream
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fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck….it’s depressing.
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Want to join the band Beach House and marry Victoria Legrand. If that fails, want to become CEO of AmAppy once Dov Charney becomes old and grey (via wanting to save the brand from the mnstrm). If that fails, think I may become an alt-pastor – feel alts need “something to believe in” (via crossing existentialism with evolution, Christianity, and Unitarianism).
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want 2 dream again. thx crls for posting this. you made me feel ‘inspired’ 2 b alt again.
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To grow the perfect alt breasts
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one dreams of winning best comment of 2k9.91666666 on HRO
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Leave the juggalos alone!
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I dream that the inside-memes I have with my friends can become the memes the whole world retweets.
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted November 22nd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
@jjj, So ambitious, bro, sounds like the ‘ideal alt wish/dream.’ Wish i would ‘dream big/alt.’
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I just want to be ‘relevant’ in my high school.
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//////////Reply by Jurgis
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 11:11 am
@Tahm-br0, i wanted to be ‘relevant’ in high school too, but it was filled with bros and broads who wore ‘A&F’ and liked ‘Rihanna.’ my dreams were shattered, then i started college and found many other ‘relevant’ peeps and engaged in ‘drinking binges’ and ‘gay alt orgies’
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just wanna stick my dick in some hot lil alt cunt
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted November 24th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
@carlos santana,
loved ur song w/ rob thomas.
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gonna work at apple
help make the next i-something
thats y im a comp engineering major
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thought this was really beautiful
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28th!
this is my favorite fckallt poem EVAR
kurls u a geenyes
DBIC
http://omg.ly/41ab
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feeling vulns right now – i just want to love someone.
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//////////Reply by peepshow
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 11:15 pm
@apreludes,
more like ‘use somebody’ in this post kol world
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//////////Reply by bubbles
//////////Posted November 24th, 2009 at 10:47 am
@peepshow, ur sex is on “fire”
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I just want 4 walls…
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Getting snapped by cobrasnake and sending the blogging world in a frenzy trying to decide if that’s Selena Gomez until the point I’m quasi-famous just for looking like a quasi-celebrity.
Love Grace.
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Welcome back
Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back
To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung Around.
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned Around.
Who’d have thought they’d lead you.
Back here where we need you.
Yeah we tease him a lot cause we’ve got him on the Spot, welcome back.
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 9:42 pm
@Andrew., is it alt to wear butterfly collars? cause i hope so
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become famous and then throw it all away like lindsay, then proceed to make a fetish out of my self-destruction via having my feelings matter to strangers. i dont want to be alone but i dont want to be with people either.
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Carles,
This one hit home. Felt like the late 2k9 equiv of Zappa’s We’re Only In It for the Money
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i don’t usually listen to hyped up blogworthy buzz bands, but when i do….i prefer the xx
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 3:40 am
@tommy john, like x(x) 1,000
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//////////Reply by peonted
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 10:58 am
@tommy john, The most interesting alt in the world???
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dear carles,
i am interested in starting a meaningful adult altrelationship with u.
add me back on twitter: twitter.com/alisasucks
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jesus carles. its ur fault. they think its kewl. *shots*
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“Are you okay?”
“Yes.”
“What happened, did you fall?”
“No, I’m fine. Please leave me alone”
“You’ve been drinking.”
“I haven’t been drinking.”
“Why are you lying in the middle of the pavement?”
“You could’ve broken my neck!”
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think i might recite this at our school’s open mic.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=199111731824&index=1
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That imma take shit to the next level. With enough American Spirits I can do it.
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i dream of inventing/ the ‘lung enema’
a love connection w/ the puurfect alt male/ ‘getting with’ panda bear,
a ranch in montana
& about the arrested developy movie coming out.
<3 yew crls
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//////////Reply by A.W.
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 7:47 pm
@laurn,
i’m an alt from montana. my family owns a ranch. can get pretty dreamlike.
still have to get into arrested developement though.
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//////////Reply by laurn
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 11:31 pm
@A.W.,
interested in the ranch,
could we grow pot there?
also, how do you feel about douglas adamz
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//////////Reply by A.W.
//////////Posted November 24th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
@laurn,
big fan of mr. adams and pot. and we dont live in the weedy/stony part of the state, but growing is definitley possible.
//////////Reply by laurn
//////////Posted November 29th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
@A.W.,
i think this could werk out
also must b down w/ kittehs n radiohead, and ‘pretty chill’ too.
if so,
<3
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To wander around til I write the great American novel, inspire millions to live their alt-dreams, be considered the voice of a generation that I accidentally named, get all my friends famous, slay a hot mocha chick, write novella about slaying a hot mocha chick, die a bitter Republican voting alcoholic and then experience a posthumous/ironic backlash from intellectual bros who used to like me but came to realize my shit is only for over idealistic college hippie bros. Feel like Tao Lin and/or Carles will beat me to it tho.
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One alt dreams of being ‘hired’ by the HRO Corporation.
One alt dreams of selling ‘merch.’
One alt dreams of being a blog someday.
One alt dreams of jeannie.
Just want to ‘connect’ with yall on a human level [via bluetooth/facebook/iPhone]
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Carles. Where have you been??
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be a living statue
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REAL ESTATE – REAL ESTATE – REAL ESTATE
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“Fifteen alts found murdered execution style in Chinatown, details at eleven”
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dream of moving back to my ‘mad relevant’ city instead of living in ’shitty second rate mediterranean capital’ with altbros and hoes who still believe in dying in the electro wars (via fidget house)
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//////////Reply by andrew
//////////Posted November 23rd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
@altina,
get out of Spain and go to Berlin. Berlin dub techno > fidget.
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Wondering if Zach Braff would film this???
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I’m dreaming that satellite radio fires you and then you shut the fuck up and I never have to listen to your self absorbed “hipster” (whatever,… aka asshole) bullshit drivel ever again,
signed, your biggest fan, now please go die.
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To be quirky and unique, in a way that’s totally accepted and cool.
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just want a pizza and a bottle of wine y’all.
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To be an Alt secretary for a up and coming indie record label that brings back riot girl DIY spirit and uses republican Bourgeoisie stomping grounds for our alternative agenda while Ironically sporting Ralph Lauren gear and Tory Burch accessories to blend in.
Then maybe moving to an un alt city in the suburbs close to an alt city and making it a creative and culturally relevant place to be with a few of my close alt friends. creating thought provoking guerrilla art and meaningful chillwave/psychedelic/mathy music.
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IMA START THE BEST VYNIL COLLECTION THEN CHARGE FOR ADMISSIONS.
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this blog is getting too much nasty/raunchy/dirty talk in the comment department. People are being lazy and stupid, unoriginal and uncreative.
My alt dream is to give Spike Jonze the head of the century and Im not saying that to be grose. I have personal reasons. I dont even find him attractive. Just want him to cum all over my face/hair/chest. thx.
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NICE! post n pics r gnarliest..
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Title of top pic: “Too much MSG, y’alls!”
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Hello Carles, this is the Pitchforks. All ur base are belong to us.
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 24th, 2009 at 11:34 am
@Pitchfork, <3
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AN ALT IT GIRL DREAM
i can haz a dream
dream of founding my own commentary-news-fashion-media blog for smart & funny girls college aged and beyond
turning big blog into $
creating memes
meeting tracie egan
being the ‘cory kennedy’ of the ‘blogosphere’
meeting the man of my dreamz
getting my master’s from new school
getting ‘knocked up’
moving out of ‘east’ williamsburg
moving to park slope and raising a ‘bunch of cunts’
becoming a blog media mogul
and possibly a professor at an ‘alt’ school
like SVA pratt NYU or a CUNY
working at the co-op
‘one day, we’re gonna live in park slope. I promise. I’m on it.’
-the Great Brooklyn Dream
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//////////Reply by lolz
//////////Posted November 24th, 2009 at 11:36 am
@lolz, tho I worry about the man of my dreamz sperm count due to skinnie jeans and tight undies
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted November 25th, 2009 at 1:23 am
@lolz, where is cory kennedy now?????????????????????
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//////////Reply by lurrr
//////////Posted November 27th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@lolz, You forgot “start ur own jewelry line”
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This girl is living the alt dream:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/afef88/
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Dreaming of going to the wilderness
Like Norway, cold, with stunning nature
Getting inspired, need somethin different.
Doing something ´creative´.
Getting to know the natives, learning the language.
Two years, then back to the city.
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