I just watched this new video made by the Washed Out Bro (aka Ernest Greene). In the video, he showcases HD video footage of his honeymoon, featuring his newly acquired wife, on their vacation to some exotic location. You can see the beautiful images while listening to a promotional chillwave track. Juxtaposing the smooth sounds of chillwaves are a series of telephone messages from people who are looking for Ernest.
It’s kinda weird how once you become a relevant, marketable product, covered by all of the most relevant eCommerce recommendation sites (altblogs), so many people want stuff from u. Whether it is a record label (Modular), a brand that puts on alternative concerts (the KIA soul tour), a ‘relevant booking agency’ (Billions), a pseudo-buzzband (Josh from the Small Black), miscellanous bros who ‘want something from u’, or even just friends, it seems like every1 wants a piece of Ernest Greene.
However, WashedOutBro is ‘chilling’ on his honeymoon with his wife. He is only accessible to the woman that he loves.
I wonder if ‘having a wife/serious GF’ makes you a better artist. Like you can focus on your craft, instead of seeking out rewards [via tugjobs] from entry-level alt fan girls at every stop on your North American tour. I feel like we could call this theory the AnCo Relationship Theory. All three members of Animal Collective are in ’serious relationships/marriages’ (some with kids). It seems like they have only become ‘mad relevant/successful’ since they have found people who probably give them the space and support system that they need to be ‘artists.’
It’s kinda weird how Washed Out ‘gave up on alt celeb perks’ before his touring/entire career had even taken off. Do u think he will begin 2 regret ‘what could have been’, or will he be happy with his decision since it will allow him to ‘truly chill’ for the rest of his life?
Maybe the chillwave genre is more about ‘moving forward with family values’ as opposed to ‘escapism’ [via chilling]. Maybe chillwave is more about ‘chilling with a wife’ as opposed to ‘chilling with a group of bros.’ Maybe chillwave will help the former altbros of electro begin to transition into adult life.
What would do if u were in a budding hype-band? Would u ‘use it to get alternative sex’? Would u try to marry some1 who ‘knew u before u were an alt celeb’? Would u try to marry some1 who ‘only loved u because of ur status as an alt celeb’? Were Ben Gibbard + Zooey Deschanel married for ‘public relations/marketing’ purposes?
When u become a buzzband, so many ppl who u don’t know ‘want something from u.’ Maybe u just need some1 who wants/likes/loves u for u, even if you weren’t a buzzworthy, monetizable artist.
See unwatermarked photo here.
(wonder how much pitchfork paid for these exclusive wedding photos. wonder when an alternative website will pay for baby photos. Can’t believe the alt blogosphere has entered the paying for wedding/baby photo meme era.)
Wondering if Panda Bear ‘invented’ chillwave back before we even knew it…
[MP3]
Panda Bear Untitled (eventually AnCo’s Guy’s Eyes)
I really want to do just what my body wants to
I really want to do just what my body needs to
I really want to show to my girl that I want her (and I do)
I really want to show to my girl that I need her (and I do)
If I could just hold all the thoughts in my head and just keep them for you
If I could just purge all the urges that I have and keep them for you
I really want to show to my girl that I need her
I keep it locked right now
Need her
-Panda Bear/Animal Collective
//////feeling it all around
////maybe being alt famous/artistically relevant is not a gateway to a meaningful/sex-filled life…
////maybe u need to ’shack up’ with some1 before u r ’successful.’
////LoVe iS a HiGhWaY
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33 Comments
first?
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damn u, Cow pie.
I invented google wave/chad gaze
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ernest gets married
ernest goes chillwave
ernest feels it all around
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//////////Reply by nerdAlt
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
@brittany,
marry me
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//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
@brittany, lolzz
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//////////Reply by dogboyvan
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@brittany, THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ERNEST (WILDE RMX)
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//////////Reply by Bipster
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
@brittany, I’m gonna ‘get with’ you.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
@Bipster, ‘and ur sister’, http://www.amirite.net/ ???
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//////////Reply by Bipster
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 11:49 pm
@aw, fukk, I don’t ‘get it.’
//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 1:43 am
@Bipster,
‘i want 2 get w/u (only uuu) giiiiirrrrlll–and your sister–i think her name is debra’ -the becks, ‘midnight vultures’
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 1:48 am
@Bipster,
jesus, wasnt it alt to like beck ~3 years ago??
live: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_7foC40SP4
pirate the mp3 from somewhere, falsetto is so in right now
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 1:58 am
@Bipster, genuinely upset, uploaded it 4 u:
http://drop.io/qs0omh9
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Who cares carles. pass da hornitos
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
@Baberaham Linkin, werd
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//////////Reply by Broseph Stalin
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 9:30 am
@bettyannfromjapan,
feel hornitos is way more alt than Svedka Vodka since its on hro and not a bus but lets get drunk newayz
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
@Broseph Stalin, I won’t drink anything with a label. Labels are for soup cans, which is, incidentally, what I put my homemade bath tub gin in when I drink it.
bebe zeva is a 16 year old jewish broad from las vegas. her last name is Hershkovitz. She is trying to create a name for herself on the internet with a garbage tumblr, riding the coat tail’s of HRO.
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//////////Reply by AznMom420
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
@wannabe, some girlzzz
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
@wannabe, she still seems chill
<3 u bebe
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//////////Reply by ?
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 9:33 am
@wannabe,
Is she related to Lisa Loeb’s husbro (Roey Hershkovitz)?
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//////////Reply by god
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 10:33 am
@wannabe,
here’s hoping to her spreading like jelly on LNP
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damn. love.
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 12:41 am
@yvynyl, uuuuuigh Tao Bites.
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no no listen to Neon Navajo
http://tastelikekathy.wordpress.com/
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Wow, your advertising is becoming invasive. I will stick with my RSS feed.
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//////////Reply by Cliff Clavin
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
@CoffeeKingdom, love u Ad Block Plus
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//////////Reply by AznMom420
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
@Cliff Clavin, AdBlockPlus!
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//////////Reply by broseph stalin
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:39 am
@Cliff Clavin, feel relieved that i don’t have to constantly be reminded of ‘consumer culture’.
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//////////Reply by god
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 11:10 am
@broseph stalin,
except when you sneer at people for having the ‘wrong’ shoes
//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 11:49 am
@god, no such thing as ‘the wrong shoes’. only the ‘not right shoes’.
//////////Reply by god
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 11:59 am
@broseph stalin,
consumer culture nonetheless
is a problem
//////////Reply by broseph stalin
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@god, went to the liquor store the other day and almost bought hornitos, felt ashamed and went with tito’s.
what the fuck is pitchfork doing? turning into US Weekly?
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She most likely loves him for who he really is. Besides those “hot ho’s” that you can score as a celebrity would be fun for a while but eventually a man needs some substance/a mate. Also, one can never forget the words of Dr. Dre: “you can’t make a ho a housewife.” It is refreshing to see a good guy be so successful as well as very mature and unselfish. If he had broken her heart for some trashy groupies once he got famous, I for one would respect Washed Out Bro a lot less. I say God bless them in their union.
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
@Lord B, Jay-Z is not a scenster. To an ‘alt’ the most authentic housewife is, in fact, a ‘ho’.
‘Member “lady on the street but a freak in the bed”? (via Ludakris – spelling? Ah, who gives a fuck.)
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‘damn’. can’t believe i had 2 choose b tween ‘drugs + alocohol’ and ‘internetty porn’ for that lil poll. feel like i should have been able 2 ‘check all that apply’.
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//////////Reply by kbiz
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 12:21 am
@flowers4alger-anon, what did you pick? I went drugs + Alcool.
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//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 9:10 am
@kbiz, damn bro. i chose porn. feel like the choices should have been ‘alcohol’ or ‘drugs and porn’. would have demonstrated a ‘clearer imperative’.
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I feel really inspired by this post. The washed out Ernest Greene meme has turned into a perfect happily ever after story. His wife looks really pretty/pristine/pure and he has transformed his location to suite the feel presented on his break-out debut album.
“One day, we’re gonna live in chillwave…I promise.. I’m on it.”
Dreams really do come true.
Goodwill to all men.Thank you Ernest. Miss u Jim Varney.
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
@1000freeipods, Hey, how can i sign up for a free ipod?
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//////////Reply by 1000freeipods
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 1:45 am
@jjj, u must be approved/accepted by the sages of the HRO comment section funkyrutabega + flowers4alger-anon 2 recieve ur free nano.
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:28 am
@1000freeipods, That’s okay. I already have one. Didn’t know I had to sign up for offers/get approved.
//////////Reply by 1000freeipods
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:32 am
@1000freeipods, also will accept hornitos/tugjob .
//////////Reply by 1000freeipods
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:35 am
@jjj
Sorry, i fucked that up. Obviously did not want a tugjob or me to buy myself Hornitos.
I meant to say I will take a tugjob or a bottle of hornitos from you to eligible for an Ipod. Hope you are a hott chick. dunno. hard to tell on the internet. Seriously am concerned about Chris Hansen.
Think I may want to start a buzzband. Think I will stay single and bang myriad keut alt skanks and never get married (via marriage being an oppressive form of male domineering).
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inb4 carles
mohawks, new alt haircut of 2k12?
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‘damn’, she’s ‘fucking hot’
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Me give my heart to a woman
Not for nothin’ never happen’
I’ll be forever mackin’
-the jay hovee
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The anco alts are still getting handies on tour, but it causes stress and problems with their wives when they return. This dynamic is as old as rock and roll.
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Tina Fey is the ultimate artist. Tina Fey is unmarried.
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//////////Reply by poly
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
@grant golland, luv tina fey… i want a 20 years old version of her….
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//////////Reply by grant golland
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
@poly, I’m 20 years old…
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//////////Reply by poly
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 12:28 am
@grant golland, r u a girl? porque yo soy un chico viviendo en argentina y tnego 22! translation, i’m a 22 year old boy and i live in argentina…
//////////Reply by marisol
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
@poly, marry me?
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 1:06 am
@grant golland, Tina Fey is married and has only ever ridden the ‘disco stick’ of 1 man.
‘What a waste/you’re so chaste’ –The Sonic Youths, discussing the hotness of Tina Fey.
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//////////Reply by grant golland
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 1:46 am
@brobro, bummer
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Plz stop obsessing a/b ‘culturally relevant’ bands and talk more smack about those that follow them. Kthnxbai.
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
@bettyannfromjapan, think he did talk abt them…………./u
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
@b4hc, I want more
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p.s. I can see the garnier fructis styling gel in that first bro’s wedding pic. not alt. use semen. waiiit… they already used semen in “there’s something about mary”. not alt. maybe he should just boil off old resin from his bowl and streak it through his hair. now that’s different.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 12th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
@bettyannfromjapan, <3 garnier fructis styling gel
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//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 9:33 am
@aw, fukk, feel like the garnier fructis line ‘gets’ the concept of ‘how much i’m willing to pay for shampoo’
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//////////Reply by bettyannfromjapan
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
@flowers4alger-anon, yes, but it it ‘alt’
sad
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back in the electro era it was alt 2 b single and just try to get finger banged at a ed banger records dj set. just wanted hot altbros in neon palestinny scarfs to touch my love hole while steve aoki poured gray goose in my mouth. then the conceptualcore era start about 12 blog years ago and i started gettting reflective yall. during these chillwave times its important to share chilling and acid and pizza and cassette tapes with a special someone. the ancos tought me 2 b a responsible parent. the washed outs tought me 2 feel it all around. but i think the grrlz said it best: wish i had a bf, wish i had a loving man in my life.
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wondered if Ernest’s video wasn’t really a sorry but just a convoluted statement to show great he’s doing/in demand he is
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Pitchfork is what the devil uses to skewer people. What’s all this about music?
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Carles, it’s less ironic when you use scare quotes these days. I want to believe what you say. I want to believe you are this guy. I want to believe, in you. I feel like those quotes are a defense mechanism.
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PS CRLS. Your definition of conceptual is that of a bro majoring in graphic design
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//////////Reply by 1000freeipods
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:36 am
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK,
TAKE THAT BACK.
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Fuck Musicians are so literal all the time.
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Every1 knows that when women start stealin yr juices u get uncreative. Besides Morrissey, the only reason any man has ever done anything is to get rid of the frustrating feelin of a pent up dick. Some men climb mountains, others lift weights, some are lazy and get all artistic or whatever. Just theorizin. Then again maybe washed out bro get laid regularly anyway and that’s why his music is so chill and non confrontational in the 1st place. just brings a lot of profound discussion 2 the table.
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//////////Reply by henry
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:27 am
@DICKZ, “dont touch ur dick” – freddy nietzsche, 2007
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//////////Reply by 1000freeipods
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:37 am
@henry, I honestly really enjoyed reading your comment. Thank u.
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//////////Reply by DICKZ
//////////Posted November 15th, 2009 at 4:30 am
@1000freeipods,
as did i
‘damn’. need 2 lose weight again yall…
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 11:14 am
@flowers4alger-anon, i feel fucked, it’s 11:13 am, i just ‘ate everything’ and now i’m going to nap for a lil…..
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//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 11:20 am
@b4hc, damn bro. lmk if u want 2 ‘go for a lil jog’ later. will ‘keep up with you’ and talk to u so u don’t need ur ipoddy+earbuds.
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
@flowers4alger-anon,
‘fuck’. I’m at work and shit.
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//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
@d00dz, doesn’t ur company offer some kind of ‘corporate wellness’ program or sum thing?
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
@flowers4alger-anon, yeah, we call it ‘paid lunch’
//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
@flowers4alger-anon, feel like it is ‘ok’ to be a lil chub during these chill times (via beer belly). am appy said it was ok in their latest “look” “book”
http://www.caliselect.com/
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//////////Reply by DICKZ
//////////Posted November 15th, 2009 at 4:23 am
@flowers4alger-anon,
I love you the way u r bro
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that is a handsome wife.
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New anco conceptual viddy is fucking ghey.
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this blog never ceases to suck. nice Hornitos ads, you simple fuck
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From buzzband to huzzband.
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
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