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I love my son. He truly is the mirror image of me. It’s kinda weird how kids are so impressionable… sorta reminds me of consumers… Maybe kids and consumers have the same kind of brain… all of us have so many wants and needs, and maybe products really can fulfill us/make us happy. Srsly though… u should see his iPod… we have a lot of the same pop-electro sensibilities, but also an appreciation of indie conceptual ballads.
I feel like I might buy these Daft Punk dolls for my son. I never really let him watch traditional kid programming (crap like Sesame Street, Muppets, Dora The Explorer, etc). Mainly just put art films/indie movies ‘on repeat’ in his play room DVD player. He absolutely loves the hit film Electroma. I don’t really think it is healthy for him to identify with characters that every other kid on the planet has identified with for the past 20+ years. I want him to be a pure alternative spirit (This is why I made his mother birth him in a pool of Sparks while listening to Animal Collective’s hit album “Sung Tongs”).
I want my son to have a ’special’ Christmas, and not just because it is Christmas and kids ‘get kewl shit.’ I need my son to have a truly unique Christmas that he will remember forever. I am considering ‘booking’ a relevant buzzband to play a few of their hit songs when he comes down the stairs on Xmas morning. Might also commission some sort of mp3 to be created by Sufjan Stevens.
////beginning 2 brainstorm my xmas list
////what do u want 4 xmas?
///worried about getting 2 many iTunes gift cards from relatives who don’t ‘get’ me
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47 Comments
First!
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//////////Reply by kbiz
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
@Jodie, ‘damn.’
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//////////Reply by ryan dicks
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
i’m noticing an ongoing trend in which readers compete to post first comment of each new entry to hereby determine who remains most loyal to the author. seems to create strong camaraderie among the readership while maintaining healthy competition where we all can have a chance to win. those that come second will try again tomorrow. i think i would feel proud to be first one day
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
@ryan dicks, Been first. Feels ‘good.’
‘Please don’t leave me, things that feel good’ –AnCo/PanBear talking about being the 1st commenter on HRO
//////////Reply by malt
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
@ryan dicks, never been first. feel like i haven’t ‘lived’.
//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
@ryan dicks, ‘first’ goes beyond hro
//////////Reply by asd
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
@anonymous he’s being ‘ironic’ you fucking idiot^^^
//////////Reply by skybeard
//////////Posted November 15th, 2009 at 4:17 am
@ryan dicks,
I’ve been first a few times. A few other times I’ve let someone else ‘take first’. Instead of feeling honored, I usually feel scared that Carles will notice that the same IP is ‘happening to refresh’ HRO and commenting every time there is a new post, and he’d think that I’m a fucking loser rather than a ‘loyal costumer’ bro
//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted November 15th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
@ryan dicks, Been first a couple times, feels sweet. Think once you lose your ‘first’ virginity, you dont feel soo much pressure to win, ya kno?
first again?
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//////////Reply by dt76
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
jodie is a cunt
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//////////Reply by Jodie
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
@dt76, You good sir, should be punched in the dick tip.
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wait, first?
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third?
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//////////Reply by wakowski
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 10:55 am
@marisol,
Hey go around telling peeps u r the 1st 3rd
they’ll think ‘First Turd???’
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is there an alt santa? or is the idea of santa claus too mainstream/old for alt kids? would kids rather get their gifts from their altparents or from a fictional character? aren’t daft punk fictional? isn’t the idea of christmas too mainstream? would festivus be a more authentic celebration? too many questions. i don’t want kids.
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//////////Reply by yessum
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
@jc,
consumerism is happiness through buying things. fuck xmas. my kids are getting smug grins and satisfaction this buying season.
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//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
@yessum, ‘damn’. thought that said ‘my kids are getting snuggies…this buying season’.
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//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
@flowers4alger-anon, snuggies
//////////Reply by yessum
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
@flowers4alger-anon,
h8 u undermining my rage
or whatever, i guess
//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
@jc, feel like i ‘work mad hard’ 2 get my lil son his x-mas presents. like i don’t want some jolly fat bro ‘taking credit for that shit’.
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
@jc, alt-santa is also known as dan deacon. lil alts that were nice and not too naughty (but maybe a lil naughty stealing drags off mom’s organic am-spirits) get a free copy of bromst on vinyl.
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
http://www.maximumfun.org/blog/uploaded_images/Dan-Deacon-785467.jpg
he sees u when ur sleepin
he knows when ur awake
he knows when uve been “bad” or good
so be good for “goodness” sake
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 12:50 am
@chilisfan,
feel like ‘dan deacon’ is mad fucking gay.
don’t feel like explaining right now
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//////////Reply by flowers4alger-anon
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
@d00dz, lolz
That’s a no brainer…just get him a guitar/bass/drumset/keyboard and music lessons.
Or if you can afford it, and I’m sure you can with all of your Hornitos booze money, buy him a laptop w/Abelton.
Merry Christmas yall! (SO much more alt than Happy Holidays).
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getting my 3-yo son a year of ‘the economist’ and a subscription to a monthly ‘wine club’. he’s ’stoked’.
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you can nvr go wrong
w
americant apparel undies
the downside is
all his lil classmates will think hes a
lil fag
but
itll build character for his future alt endeavors
if he doesnt go goth first.
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
@Y, being alt makes you a lil gay anyway.
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he probably doesn’t care about ‘material things like a social status’ etc.
don’t get him anything!
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//////////Reply by chong
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
@lsd soundsystem,
‘This is why I made his mother birth him in a pool of Sparks while listening to Animal Collective’s hit album “Sung Tongs”’
lol
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We have a Black Santa displayed year around in our office. He enjoys Wiz Khalifa and nag champa.
If I were an alt kid, I would want Bon Iver Building Blocks, Neon Indian Jumprope, or the Grizzly Bear action set.
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//////////Reply by hey anony anony
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
@34thStreetVintage, wonder how chris bear is gonna feel if eddie droste action figure ’sells better’ (via ghostbusters’ peter venkman)
hope it comes with a free solange
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Stylophones.
They’re cool/retro and easy to play.
Best thing to gift to any alt kid/alt with no musical talent.
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a pool of sparks lol. for christmas i want two cans of joose, thats jeese.
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//////////Reply by ignore all this
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
@via nineteen eighty8, yeahhhhh
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and a little kid alt work-out dvd that teaches lil alts to tecktonik dance and do rails of coke off of crystal castle albums.
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for christmas i want to have a threesome with au revoir simone
tbh i’d rather bang them then have a lot of consumerish items.
im so ‘above the system’
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//////////Reply by DayGlowwed
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
@gammozord, wouldn’t this be a foursome, since there are 3 au revoir simones and 1 of you? or are you just just gonna leave one out?
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a nambla guy is pretty alt.
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get him lsd-laced candy canes and a videocamera. shut him in his room for eight hours.
that shit would go viral
via david after dentist
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Does n e 1 know if Amazon.com/iTunes sells authenticity??
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//////////Reply by Bipster
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
@brittany, ‘David after K-hole.’
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//////////Reply by brittany
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 1:26 am
@Bipster, cocorosie speedfreak novocaine 2.0 remix
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Sesame Street is the most alt children’s program in existence, though Mr. Rogers’ fashion sense was more alt (via cardigans).
Get him a Sesame Street t-shirt and cardigan (via Mr. Rogers) from AmAppy, Tao Lin’s Bed so he can learn how to read, and some chillwave/”indie rock” albums. If the kid was older, I would suggest a bottle or two of Hornitos (via teaching kids to drink responsibly).
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
@funky_rutabaga, i agree… sort of feel like that lil trolley had hits of acid on it… kinda made me experiment in my teen years via lsd to get to a ‘land of make believe’
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//////////Reply by iampaco
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 9:09 am
@funky_rutabaga, well although sesame street was pretty much the most alt kid show ever I think it’s time to shine some light on the next alt kid show… Yo gabba gabba. Let your kid watch that and he will one further his love for alt music two learn prominent lessons of life like dressing up like a fggt doesn’t make you ghey and three be exposed to the good old days of trippy kids show that make you feel like youre on acid
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carles these overlay ads are rly annoying
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//////////Reply by hornitoscanfuckoff
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
@hornitos is gross, seconded.
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KAOSPAD! they have this new thing called the Kaoscillator now. Muthafuckaz b wilin’
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the twelves are doing a live set out of some bros basement right now
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/its-alive1#utm_campaign=home.myspace.com&utm_source=1577180&utm_medium=social
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
@HJ, still going
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
@HJ, k done
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picture perfect: sipping vegan eggnog spiked with Hornitos to the mad chill sounds of little alt drummer boy rhythm sessions leak
the animal collective nativity set complete with a baby panda bear in the manger glowing under the organic tree
all presents wrapped in recycled edible paper.
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IN A CRISIS!
WHICH SEARCH ENGINE IS THE MOST ALTERNATIVE?
PS. JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST ED HARDY TEE TODAY.
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 12:47 am
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK,
knowyourmeme.com.
like any alt choice, you can’t go to it for just everything.. only materielle of choice selection. word.
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When wearing alt jeans, do most just leave the pants at the knees when taking a poop or should I strive to get them to the ankle?
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//////////Reply by ignore all this
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@jjj, know what you mean. i try to get them to the ankle. sometimes ‘fucks with’ my socks though
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
@ignore all this, not sure which is the most authentic way to relieve myself.
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I need some fucking Hornitos
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//////////Reply by Bipster
//////////Posted November 13th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
@on with the show, ‘Word,’ bro. I need to get ‘fucked up.’
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//////////Reply by on with the show
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
@Bipster, Hornitos = raping drunk chicks in the park?
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first!?
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second!
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wanna ice floe sponsrzship certficate and a carbon newtrawl dawg plz.
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wat?!?! Crles you don’t know? even after 40 years and shit, Sesame Street is still alt as fuck. You don’t knw?
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feel like santa is treated too much like a ‘celeb’ or maybe a ‘altband tht hypes thr once yearly EP 2 much’ is bad for a growing alt; they might think ‘being fat’ is ’socially acceptable’
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Well maybe if he is very into electropop/funk you should maybe harness that passion and lead him down the path to becoming the next best dj. So get him the tools to fire up that dream aka app lappy and some cool DJing shit. Never know yur kid might be the best alt dj of 2k10 at the age of 6. That would be prettyfucking awesome
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Let your kid watch yo gabba gabba. Best alt kid show ever
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Loled at the playing an/co while giving birth,
best post in a while carles. Keep it up.
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my lil alt luvs yo gabba gabba.
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//////////Reply by autista
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 9:58 am
@autista, & i wish you sold an “i am carles” in kiddie sizes cause hed love that too.
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//////////Reply by abeewon
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
@autista, Irequested a ‘i am carles’ for my yorkie. 2 alt for kids y’all
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Accidentally clicked on the hornitos ad up in the corner and saw a bro with a v-neck on flirting with some altbaguettes. Might try it.
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//////////Reply by jimmm
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 10:32 am
@jimmm, Hornitos, not flirting with girls.
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HIPSTER RUNOFF IS IN ARIAL AND I THOUGHT HELVETICA WAS THE TRUE AUTHENTIC FONT
I AM CONFUSED
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//////////Reply by ignore all this
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
@FLOUNDER, ‘figured that out’ over a year ago
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“love my son. He truly is the mirror image of me. It’s kinda weird how kids are so impressionable… sorta reminds me of consumers… Maybe kids and consumers have the same kind of brain…”
That’s why I love this blog.
Poor fucking kid. Turning your kid into a mini-douche is a form of child abuse.
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//////////Reply by michhhael
//////////Posted November 14th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
@michhhael, idiot
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MOAR POASTS
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get your kid a membership to a kids yoga class…
you know shit is mad stressful for under 10 year olds nowadays.
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Did yall hear the mem tapes remixxx of Ambling Alp by yeasayer?
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anyone else kinda miss when carles sometimes posted mp3s i liked and actually had honest opinions rather than solely post post ironic commentarys?
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//////////Reply by go rilla
//////////Posted November 15th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
@go rilla, *he liked
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//////////Reply by cnt we all b friends
//////////Posted November 15th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
@go rilla, ah those were the ‘good ol’ dayz’
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Scientology halloween mask anna lapdance from tom cruise scare the little fuk away from fithy capitalism via mnstrm hols.
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why is carles on such a mnstrm blog week, monday 2 friday. miss u over the weekends crls.
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blog is too mainstream carlz
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Hipsters are the new “mainstream.” They’re a branch off the same “consumerist tree;” they’re just the branch that pretends to be “not be a branch.” They’re all weak-minded conformists, they’re just in denial.
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maybe some toms would do the trick.
http://smokedontsmoke.com/post/240782217
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Carles talk about something completely out of the blue like how ancient Greek art may be the cause of porn for blind people. Just something whack man to keep me from stopping loving you. Which I don’t want to happen.
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