Hey yall. Since HRO has become so formulaic, I was gonna give yall an opportunity to ‘make ur own post.’ The Carles brand has been successful, embedding itself as the subconscious voice of so many people across the world. Even though a lot of other ppl could probs write my blog, there is only 1 Carles. I thought I would give yall a chance to ‘get ur creativity on; this is an opportunity to construct your own HRO post.
Here is a bloggable image as determined by Carles. It is your job to create a zany caption/gimmick/blog post/slant/angle on the image in the comments section. A winner will be determined by Carles, then this post will be deleted, and reposted with ur content.
Photo by Yvan Rodic
Which Post Title would be the optimal choice?
a) Are Homeless PPL fans of the Yankees/Alex Rodriguez?
b) Are Spike Lee blipsters replacing traditional african americans?
c) Do more Americans Need Vision+Dental Insurance?
d) Does n e 1 know if Am Appy invented hoodies, or did the exist b4 2k0?
e) Am I racist if I assumed that this man was homeless?
f) Is Obama deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize?
g) Do African Americans appreciate Animal Collective?
h) Do Yankees fans listen to indie music?
i) Is this bro waiting outside of a relevant venue to see a relevant buzzband?
j) If u were this bro, what would u tweet?
k) Should I get an internship with Lenscrafters?
l) Do u still use AOL instant messenger, or just FB Chat/gchat/twitter?
m) Should I buy a Macbook?
n) When u were a kid, did u think that all men who were on the streets were drug dealers, rapists, and kidnappers?
o) Will Morgan Freeman fail in the role of Nelson Mandela?
p) Is Tiger Woods a ‘pimp bawla’?
q) Do u think they would let me crash the White Haus if I looked like this bro?
r) Is it ‘deep’ to photograph ppl who are less wealthy than u+ur nuclear family?
s) Are Child Predator Glasses ‘dead’?
t) What’s the most annoying part of contact lenses?
u) If u take a picture of some1, do u own their soul?
v) Do u still own their soul if u post the picture on the internet?
w) Choose ur own response
This is yalls time to construct an HRO post. Leave it in a comment for your chance to win a free blog.
Loading ...
122 Comments
first
Reply
//////////Reply by bmoreflow
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
@Photobro, We wonz da sivil wars 2!
Reply
//////////Reply by Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
TITLE: Does this guy have to P2P .WAV files because he is Poor?
THESIS: Due to not enough information, it cannot be inferred that he has to P2P .MP3s & .wav
BODY: I think it is wrong that the fucked up government
doesn’t supply food and shelter for homeless people.
There should be more non-profit organizations
implemented-in society, that want to help for charity,
AND NOT FOR PERSONAL FUCKING GAIN!
I think we should legalize marijuana, and make
university free for people: espescially for the poor, and
the black: and
the hispanic and illegal immigrants, plus we need
healthcare. Legalizing pot can lead to a lesser deficit,
plus it can keep many innocent criminals out of the
fucked up jail system, and we can tax them, and it can
help people with cancer.
I also believe in creative commons, and think MP3
sharing is good, and Sharing information on the internet
is Fucking THE NEW WAY. EVERYONE CAN USE
EVERYONE’S CONTENT, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT
GIRL TALK TAUGHT US. EVEN FOR US
STRUGGLING ON THE INTERNET.
Reply
//////////Reply by Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
CREATIVE COMMONS, SO what the 2000s is about, If you are not with us, and girl talk, and DJ SHADOW, and DJ Steve AOKI, then we will tear you down.
I CALL FOR A REVOLUTION OF THE CREATIVE COMMONS.
EVERYONE IS CREATIVE.
EVERYONE IS AN ARTIST.
EVERYONE PLEASE SHARE.
IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT US!
WE ARE ONE!
ONE LOVE!
//////////Reply by †®åπP
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
@Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI, fuck that i dont want a real job
//////////Reply by Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
I also Want to Say… Yo CARLES, That was fucking sick
how you busted out a Creative Commons on the
PHOTOFGGTS ASS. I’m GLAD you are in For the
REVOLUTION as am I!!!
CREATIVE COMMONS DUDES RISE UP!
Reply
//////////Reply by Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
@Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI, FUCKIN SHOWED THAT CORPORATE BITCH WHO’S BOSS!
Reply
//////////Reply by hmm,
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
@Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI,
oh frat bro,
i cant decide if youre being ironic or are just a crazy bro.
//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 2:19 am
@Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI, might want 2 smoke weed w u, hope u wouldn’t flip out
PHOTO BY YVAN RODIC
anagram for Corny Diva
discuss.
Reply
//////////Reply by man
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@J, good point. consider also, Voidy Narc
Reply
//////////Reply by john anybro
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
@man, Avid Crony?
Reply
//////////Reply by anonymous
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
@man, i think corny diva is the best one so far…
Reply
//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
@J, Cry On Diva (via Kylebro)
Reply
lol look @those sillie specs
Reply
first.
homeless yankees fan, new album in 2k10?
Reply
//////////Reply by man
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
@man, oy! the error. slow witting.
Reply
second?
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Reply
//////////Reply by scraperbike
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
@shaquanti, ‘no’.
Reply
//////////Reply by TripStar
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
@scraperbike, EWWW
Reply
//////////Reply by jig
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
@shaquanti, just 1 hyperlink & I woulda been sold… ur “loss”
Reply
//////////Reply by gariel
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
@jig, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MICQZrdM8I ?
Reply
//////////Reply by TheMySpaceWinz
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
@shaquanti, I can’t read or see now thanks to 2u bro
Reply
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
@shaquanti, TL;DR
Reply
//////////Reply by Elle
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
@whore, Nice throwback to those comments people used to leave on bands’ myspaces back in the day saying “ADD ME”
Reply
//////////Reply by poordude
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 12:46 am
@Elle, 90210 bro paying you for this one?
wish I attended Beverly high, as he did. My guess ariel pink was kind of like that dj bro of the series that randomly hooks up with the owner of the shows daughter.
Reply
//////////Reply by animal brollective
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 3:23 am
@shaquanty – the thing about guerilla advertising is that it only really works if the content your advertising doesn’t suck.
ur vs. yr??
Reply
//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
@yall, missin yr, feel retarded since brainwashed in2 converting to ur… yr is so sonic youthy/grungy seeming now. missin yr.
h8 yer
Reply
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 6:23 pm
@yall, Feel like ‘lift ur skinny fists like antennas 2 heaven’ seems more ’sillie’/'chat-speaky’
Reply
//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
@yall, the correct answer is ‘yalls’
Reply
//////////Reply by trainsurf.
//////////Posted December 25th, 2009 at 3:32 am
@yall, “yr” was used by black mountain poets and beat poets.
Reply
new Neon Indian promo confirms move to NYC in 2k10?
Reply
//////////Reply by anon
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
@D’mite, how the fuck did NI sell out mercury lounge two nights in a row and no ones ever even heard of them
Reply
f) Is Obama deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize?/ is this homebro homeless/ perhaps famous
/even though apparently you steal people’s souls by taking pictures of them, when stare into this guys eyes, do you feel YOUR soul slip right out of your soles?
did that use of a homophone stimulate you intellectually
/does your perception of him change at all knowing that he is actually the man whose life “the soloist” was based off of, HE’S A CELLIST!
Reply
are carrots really good for your eyes or is that fucking bullshit?
Reply
//////////Reply by SilverTell
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
@andrew, lol ftw
Reply
“Why are you smoking crack on the porch uncle joey?”
“im on a pourch? oohh, i dunno”
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u win, carles
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ok, hold on a second, what was I not supposed to do? humm!!! don’t “arrrrr” oh yeah don’t look at the sun?
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Dear Carles,
r u serious?
this is ridikalous
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is being black still authentic/
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love this idea. what u got kids?
Reply
If u were this bro, what would u tweet?
————–
When i was a young teenager, growing up in the hood, battling with my old TV to watch some games of the World Cup, (cuz i was born in London) dreaming on raping and rapping.
Life was bright, seen through my bold glasses, until one specific day… i bought a NY Yankees hat, 8 bucks, and then some (n-word) came behind me, took my hat off and ran ahead, right there i though “this wrld is soooo cruel im not prepared for this”… so i took my revenge on society.
My name is Daniel Dumile, (also known as MF DOOM, DOOM, Viktor Vaughn, King Geedorah, Madvillain, The Supa Villain, Danger Mouse, Zev Love X [via wikipedia]) i used to walk the dirty streets on Manhattan (So…no, Carles, you are not a racist for assuming i was homeless).
arrrrr…. i’d better get back to work…. nice try….
Reply
//////////Reply by torbro y moi
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
@Jorge2s, u know tweets r only 140 chars rite???
Reply
//////////Reply by Cambridge
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
@Jorge2s,
OMG I LOVE MFDOOM!!!
Reply
Hipster or Negro? #2 (via Mike)
Miss u Mikebro.
u just wanted to ‘give the ppl what they want’ sort like anco did on merry weathy post pavilly.
u have a ‘here goes nothing….’ style, like kanyegate
u r empathetic
u told me to googy image D.Rodman if i don’t watch basketball (and i don’t watch basketball but i still know who he is cause he’s 99 parts meme/1 part man.
Thx n e way bro.)
u r apologetic for the n-word
u don’t want n e hate on ur blog
u gave us the ‘one luv’ signout mikebro
1 luv 2 u 2
also u wernt that ‘lil cunt’ becca or that ‘n-word’ reginald. u ‘got’ ‘us’ mikebro. u helped us 2 ‘get’ ‘one another.’
I luv Carlesbro tho don’t get me wrong u guyz!!! hes got more of a ‘daily material’ kind of consistency and he seems more ‘reliable,’ like he wont just forget the password to the blog one day even tho he made it ‘password’ so he wouldn’t forget and we’d be blog-less for months. Carlesbro wouldn’t do that b/c he was born2blog.
u weren’t born2blog mikebro.
u were born2live.
(but i still wanna read ur blog tho hahaha.)
Basically Mikebro I want you back in my life for a BLG quickie every once in a while.
Maybe start ur own blog that, while separate from HRO, will entertain the same fanbase as, feature crossover themes from, and generally look asthetically similar to HRO??? (via The Pandy Bear solo proj vs anco theory)
I wanna ‘give it up to the jigga man’ with u again
I wanna ‘bump the fuck out of Dafy Punky’ with u again
I jus wanna ‘haha’ with u again mikebro.
“Everything reminds me of Mikebro”
-The Elliot Smiths
“Mikebrostrong”
-The Lance Armstrongs
(luv u carles, don’t read this as another reason for a week-long hiatus. I don’t think I can emotionally deal with 1more.)
-Billbro Baggins
Reply
//////////Reply by Zee
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
@Bill, winner
Reply
//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@Zee, think every1 is ignoring this because it’s ‘2 good’ lawl
Reply
//////////Reply by perrson
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
@Bill,
i don’t get HRO hire/fire policies, it seems like they hire guest columnists like their starting a one nite stand w/ a diamond ring. mike wasn’t super good at what he did but he tried, i think he deserves a chance every once in a wild. or at least no string attached just bring new people but don’t act like their gonna be around forever, it makes the wrong expectations.
Reply
//////////Reply by Blue Flood Gates
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
@perrson, yeah. what?
Reply
//////////Reply by perrson
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
@Blue Flood Gates,
i know rite! it’s so incontinent
//////////Reply by shapes
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@Bill, maybe crles should ‘off yrself’. bill should b the new HRO ‘editor’
Reply
//////////Reply by fistpump
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 3:17 am
@Bill,
u r my top hobbit
one comment to rule them yall
Reply
is this bro a new addition to the zanie cast of popular youtube/meme/blog-content breakfast @sulimays? will he reach the ‘urban’ demographic/race/class, or is he more LOL-able for post-racial/post-ironic ‘white’ bros who ‘get it’?
Reply
“Is 2k10 the year to grow the face warming face rug?”
Can’t really decide if 2k10.1 is the right time to grow some facial hair, will I be authentic with out the gray? Can I be a non pruductive member of society with a beards and not look homeless? Did this old school god father of NY blipsterdom rob bubbles? Am I racist to assume he stole those glasses?
Reply
//////////Reply by Elle
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
@cha bro, only people over 28 are allowed to grow beards. Also, make sure it’s real beard hair and not that wispy fluff nonsense, that shit’s gross. this is the wisdom I pass on to thee.
Reply
In the future, will glaucoma be cited as the reason all drugs became legal? [via "the slippery slope"]
Reply
has tunde from tvotr finally shitted himself out?
i know the pressures on the follow up album can be a great strain to a musical genius such as himself, and what with kip/kyp malone doing his thing in rain machine bearing down on his neck prollly makes him feel the real strain of life. but it’s no cause for alarm, because he’s got everything under control.
there’s the glasses for one. double thick layers, no doubt. the kind of where it’s a coke bottle underneath a magnifying glass in the child predator frames, so it’s not necessarily anything too relevant. i mean, he’s black, so it’s obvious he’s informed about what to wear.
then the hoodie. no doubt. looking too new to have been plucked from a goodwill basement sale, too old to be swiped from the old navy buy three get one free deal. so he scavenges. no doubt.
the hat has the uncle ben’s rice hair curling underneath it. is he all white under there? the whole wizened professor at NYU is all over his face. goes back to the glasses and staying relevant.
could tunde teach at NYU?
what classes would he lead?
could he make a dissertation on working with david sitek?
would davy sitek stop by for a discussion on the relevance of karen o.?
would spke jones stop by for a roundabout circle critique on his newest film ‘where the wild things are?’
would karen commandeer the fashion dept. and make everything about frills and feathers?
does nyu really need to hire out tunde?
or is tunde ‘fine enough’ teaching african art history on the corner to passerby?
would you listen to tunde?
or would you ask him for his nelson mandela impression and matt damon’s autograph?
can rugby movies be about freedom?
what’s a rugby?
tunde for an oscar in ‘10?
Reply
Between Medicare and his private insurance, is this senior citizen eligible to pay little or nothing for a new scooter from the Scooter Store? Are seniorscooters the new Vespas? Winning comment chosen at random wins a chance of winning a free scooter.
Reply
//////////Reply by dan-onymous
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
@dan-onymous, via the “aging boomer” economy
Reply
mini bio:
he was born in birmingham, alabama in the 40s, right after the war. his dad was a barber and his mama praised jesus and worked as a maid in a white folks home. kids at school made fun of him on account of his glasses, and his mama said, ‘dont you mind them you just eat your grits with cheese and bacon.’ so he did. after fighting in vietfuckinam he got real depressed, and slung crack in harlem and switched his brand of smokes to KOOL menthols. and then he pimped some bitches. and then he did some time. one of the thugs in the hood called him four-eyes, so he shot him. so he did some more time. and then he went to a yankees game, and it reminded him of the wholesome fun of his childhood. so he got a hat to remember the importance of wholesome fun. and now he is just another HRO meme, a blip of alternative inspiration in the timeline of america. he is a work of art. he is america.
Reply
//////////Reply by Jorge2s
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@littlesparrow, shut up you sick cunt..
Reply
//////////Reply by littlesparrow
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
@Jorge2s, i love it when you’re hostile
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//////////Reply by Jorge2s
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
@littlesparrow, thanks pal!
anything you need xD
love jay-z
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I am this bro.
This bro is me.
I am living proof that working class African American men may not naturally strive to be hip, at least in the sense that a specific subset of people would define it. I may however appear “hip” to these people, who usually have a more expendable income than me. These people also, as stereotypes may permit, have self-conscious fashion aesthetics. They generally identify themselves or are identified by outsiders as “hipsters”.
I am largely unaware of the details of this subculture, since I am relatively insulated. I live in a different part of town but sometimes see these people getting on and off of the train in a specific region of the city. However, I believe that their dress codes are sincere because, as I stated earlier, I do not have any inner knowledge on the subculture. It comes as a surprise to me that they would dress and behave in ways that are not congruent with their true selves. The hat I am wearing is a symbol of the true love that I have for the place I was born and raised, and out of the pride that I have for one of the sports teams that represent us on a national scale. I sort of remember learning the concept of irony at P.S.116 and, frankly, I don’t remember it being defined in the way that is currently being used to describe me.
My appeal comes from the fact that my fashion decisions and those made by hipsters join at a certain point. I am told that my glasses are a more extreme version of something that would be chosen by hipsters, and that my hoodie is also a clear giveaway. But I have poor vision and it is starting to get very cold in Bed-Stuy. I am also told that hipsters are aware of my perception of this. They understand that I have no knowledge of the fact that I may unintentionally capture the hipster aesthetic, adding to the humor of the photo that was snapped of me. This makes me feel sort of uncomfortable, like people aren’t trying to respect me for who I really am. They are laughing because I am the kind of person that they mock and want to feel above. All I ask for others is respect, and they will get the same back.
They seem like a self-aware group of people, and the majority of their joys and pains in life are derived from this quality. That’s fine. However, I don’t fully understand it as it is not relevant to me. On Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, I fall under the sections that are mostly concerned with food and shelter. They may be working on their self esteem in ways that I don’t fully comprehend. If they can provide for themselves and have working heat, they should feel pretty darn good. I don’t understand why anyone should feel the need to try to better themselves by putting others down, even if the bullying is subtle.
Oh well, that’s all I have to say. I’ve gotta get mine, and you go get yours.
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//////////Reply by yea
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
@Marcus, fuckin YES.
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
@yea, I concur. Probably best one.
Posted from extremely relevant hand-held device.
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//////////Reply by paige
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 9:53 am
@Marcus, this moved me.
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//////////Reply by Anonymous
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 11:07 am
@Marcus, thx for gettin vulns.
9.8463 hipster runoffs
Reply
//////////Reply by trainsurf.
//////////Posted December 25th, 2009 at 3:34 am
@Marcus, yes.
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Where the true alts at?
In da streets of new york we found a yankee man. I couldnt categorize him as mainstream, wannabe alt, or alt.
I was so puzzled. And then I realized he was a blipster.
We all know Am appy is dead yall. Since the mexi-poser alt from cobra starshippy started wearing purple am appy hoodies ,the new wearers of am appy are tweenz who love petey parent wentz and” oh my god panic the disco is burning we should leave because we are going to die and i dont want my dick to burn off”
The new look is to look like you don’t care even more.
Wear a fuckin yankeee hat because it is unoriginal and uncool therefor , it is now cool because no one wants to wear it making your own personal brand.
But whta really struck me about this man. Was his eyes and look on his face, it puzzled me. I was thinking “am i going to get raped?” or “is this man dying should i take him to the hospital” but mostly “This man looks so deep, he is most likely writing some music for his new band called ‘blipster bear collective for 50 cents’.” I hope this cd is good because I feel like it might touch my alt soul and change me.
And he is wearing a traditional alt trend , the thick glasses, so he has to be an altster.
New alt 2k10 is the homeless looking man we stayed away from or buyed drugs from every other year.
<3
stay true, stay alt, stay personally branded by copying this man.
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//////////Reply by paige
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 9:57 am
@lolwhat, nice try, marcus-lite
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why is everyone ’sooo mad’ at the tiger woodsman…also wonder if he’s ‘african’ enough to have received a ‘large peen’ at birth
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//////////Reply by OL DIRTY BRO
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
@jerryseinfelds, asian+black=white peen
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it’s TV On The Radio’s dad!
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these comments r 2 long to read wtf
yankees fans do listen to indie (via nyc tard)
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//////////Reply by TripStar
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
@chong, Right!? I dislike this post b/c it’s not my ‘job’ to blog!
I come to read carles’ ‘ideas’!!!!!
not commenters…
gahh
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Hey yall, i heard the tv on the radio has been working on a new album. Never actually listened to their last one, except for the track p4k posted on their review. Blah blah relevant social/racial commentary blah blah blah bro bro bro bro blah blah alt_tits. worried tvotr only got a good rating from pitchfork cause they are the only actual indie band w/ black ppl. i lost my last job as a software engineer because of affirmative action.
would the alternative community be supportive if i took a controversial stance on affirmative action+race?
am i allowed to say shocking things about race in a live blog post?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIUzLpO1kxI
george bush didnt care about black ppl. y should i?
////////////this has been a post about underlying racial tensions in america+the double standard of race in correlation with the polarizing practice of affirmative action/////////////////////
/////////we at hipsterrunoff strongly support the blacks//////////
//if u were the black guys from tv on the radio would you pretend to b homeless??
//is radio making a ‘comeback’?
//is the radio still a relevant from of media distribution, or is it only good 4 NPR?
//which sports team should i support? trying to ‘connect’ with my college’s population of mainstream bros [via sports team hats]
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//////////Reply by wannabe
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
cant handle an azn being better at ur job than u so you blame your idiocy on “affirmative action”? get some balls bro.
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
@wannabe, jesus
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
@aw, fukk,
feel your pain.
will support your cause.
just got accused of
‘plagiarism’ in class
might be expelled from my uni.
need a dream to follow.
Reply
//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
@generk witty cmmnt, feel like being accused of plagiarism seems so romantic. Rise from yon ashes, young sparkling phoenix on the frontlines of literary greatness…
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i think carles is impossible to top. Hes the man. Nothing comes nearly as “zany” or ironic or ridiculous.
For all we know carles could be that man. Live long carlitos.
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That’s my prescription wait those are my glasses!
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“is this what the bloggable meme “the tiger woods” will look like in 2k20?”
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why is my picture on the hepstir runoffs?
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I don’t mean to seem like I
Care about material things,
Like a social status,
I just want
Four eyes and yankee hats
For my bros
-Spike Lee
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//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
@\\\\\, You win, congratulations.
Reply
//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
@\\\\\, <3 yall
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//////////Reply by torbro y moi
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
@chilisfan, this is the best so far bro
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//////////Reply by dayum
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
@\\\\\, yessss
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//////////Reply by altina
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 9:26 am
@\\\\\, 10 points and a lol
Reply
tigerwoodsbro after he got kicked out of the house. got ‘mad depressed’ started ‘doin drugs’ and ‘duznt look like himself anymore’.
Reply
//////////Reply by bros edit
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 3:30 am
@Bro, might actually happen
Reply
http://www.twitter.com/nappyalt
“some fool just paid 4 his copycat air force 1’s w/ nickels” (about 30 minutes ago from prepaid phone)
“main street is dry as a bone. movin shop to 5th ave, hopefully cop count is low 2day” (about 1 hour ago from prepaid phone)
“got a phone off robbie, he dead now, he don’t need it” (about 2 hours ago from prepaid phone)
“i just sell these purses/shoes/watches/t-shirts for dancin’ money” (about 3 hours ago from cybercafe)
“how do you delete stuff on here” (about 7 hours ago from web)
“my hair is grasy” (about 11 hours ago from web)
“hey yall i just got twitter & i dunno how 2 work it yet LOL” (4:09 AM Dec 9th from web)
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Did this homeless bro turn into a koi fish?
I was walking through a relevant part of my city. Kinda bummed that relevant city spaces and often clogged with homeless bros. Feel like homeless people “aren’t relevant” 75% of the time. Feel like the homeless bros look artistic when framed in a portrait in the proper aesthetic city space.
Approaching a subway, following the helvetty signs. Feeling unsettled, anticipating the homeless bros that were soon to appear. Saw a black bro who looked like a koi fish. Feel like this is the ultimate contradiction.
Seems like this bro “transformed into a koi fish” [via being a homeless bro]. His expression was looking into the transfixed gaze that suggested he was “fucking insane” or has reached an alternate state of consciousness. I was 99% sure he looked like a koi fish. I decided to “analyze” the man from the assumption that he has consciously assumed the form a koi fish. Why would he turn into a koi fish y’all?
Koi fish are associated with expensive hotel ponds where business bros “manage funds” and “do consulting,” they are also associated with “high class” azn restaurants, and classic azn art. Feel like the koi fish bro was channeling one of these associations. Kind think koi fish look like the image that cartoonist bros give confuciousBro. The gaze is locked into a serious gaze but is humorous because of the exotic eyes and exaggerated face.
Remember when my advisor “let me take a grad class.” Decided to take philosophy course that “incorporated ideas from the east and west.” We read baudrillardBro and the Nietzsches and compared the works to the azn philosophers [vai lao tzo and zen]. Feel like the koi fish bro was trying “become a master of the tao.” taoist masters associate with the homeless brand in order to transcend the desire for material possessions. After eliminating desires one attains immortality and the ability to harvest “internal energy.” taoist master bros can move outside of their body and drift through space unfettered by the body. Feel like everything is more enjoyable when you eliminate desires.
“I don’t mean to seem like I care about material things like a social stance.” ~ panda bear
Just want to transcend material desires.
Feel like all things are impermanent.
Feel like suffering exists.
Want to transcend the physical realm.
“If I could only leave my body for a night”
feel like the koi fish bro adopted the homeless brand in order to become a taoist master.
What do y’all think?
Did the koi fish bro adopt the homeless brand in order to become a taoist master?
Is his “koi face” proof that he attained supernatural powers?
Do you think koi fish bro has really eliminated material desires?
Do y’all think that koi bro could “leave his body for a week?”
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//////////Reply by un braux
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 1:11 am
@kafka, ‘has potential’
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Yo Hey yall I’m getting meme this for a ’sweet’ gift for x.mas….let me know if u also(I know u will) want 1 & I’ll add it to my order. There’s not many left so 1st come 1st served.
http://tinyurl.com/yz87ak
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i put these big black dick suckin lips on the street and makes me some money.
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//////////Reply by wannabe
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
@HumanAftertaste, fuck you
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
@HumanAftertaste,
swing and a miss.
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//////////Reply by Blue Flood Gates
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
@generk witty cmmnt, and a heatstroke.
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Can’t wait til 2k10’s “Oscar Season” starts.
Got this pic from the moviebros @ ‘Variety’.
Morgy Freedom as A. Rod and Goldie Hawns lovechild suffering from rare genetic condition (a la Robin Williams as Jackbro) which makes him old lower class black dude w/ severe vision impairment. A. Rod kicks him out of the house after he “won’t do the dishes”. Morgy Freebro must earn $$/find self/ earn blipster cred as Am Appy salesbro.
Also starring Reeses Witherspoon as Madonna and Alec Baldwin as himself.
Can’t wait 2 see it.
Don’t know if I should download it 4 “no money” or use my funds to support a cause I “care about”.
What are the films ya’ll can’t wait to see in 2k10?
a) The Avatar Bros
b) Rhianna 3-D
c) Can’t Hardly Wait
d) Fight Club 2: The Elin Woods Story
e) something by Pedro Almodovarbro w/ Penelope Cruz’s titties
f) all of the above
g) none of the above
h) h8 the movies, just gonna wait til Entourage comes back on TV
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‘this is some benjamin button shit’
-carles
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//////////Reply by laurn
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 2:14 am
@simon, LOL
Reply
Some of yall may have heard about a new autobiographie by a relevant blipster writer named Cornel West. Think he is some kind of ‘philosopher.’ Not sure what he ‘actually does.’ Not sure if this is a picture of Cornel West. Saw somewhere that West wears glasses. Do yall think that Cornel West is related 2 Kanye (via glasses/same last name)?
Heard that an awk bro at Harvard tried 2 ‘rebuke’ West’s in 2k2 right before the dawn of the meme economy. Wish the Internet had been around 2 make the West ‘incident’ a bloggable meme (miss u skip gates). From what I have read on Wikipedia, this bro told West that he was ‘neglecting his scholarly work’ to campaign for a relevant progressive presidential candidate/record a rap album/make ‘mad bank’ on speaking engagements. Heard West was ‘fucking pissed.’ Think I would have been mad too if some1 had told me how to do my job. Would have felt threatened. Feel like I would have ‘told off’ this bro. Might have said 2 him that he was ‘being unprofesh.’ Wonder if West thinks that ‘Larry Summers doesn’t care about black ppl’ (h8/miss ‘the new economie’).
Does Princeton ‘matter’?
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famebitches/fggts/mnstrmrs
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Title: will the next generation of alts look to the recent economic downturn for fashion inspiration?
Saw this homeless alt down on the corner, just two blocks down from my apt. in Manhattan. My first reactions were those of remorse and sympathy, but then it made me wonder how many alts would ‘truly appreciate’ these spectacles; while the average baby boomer suburbanite would look down upon a grown man in such a state, the american generation 2.0 would consider it a ‘product of our society’, a person who genuinely ‘expresses’ the culture of modern america as of today. What will this mean for urban trendz in 2k10? Will the homeless finally be accepted into our society as ‘just another one of us’? Will the novel youth aesthetically become one with the ‘low class America’? Formulating a true non-class and unified society? Moreover, will these homeless bros merge together with the OLPC (one laptop per child) to greater exemplify the true state of America via blogging? will wifi skyrocket in demand? What are your concerns/questions of a possible re-birth of alternative homelessness?
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damn, carles is this post an attempt at preparations for yr impending lawsuit?? need some1 2 carry the torch after u go down…
got exams 2 study 4, can’t blog rite now, sorrie :-(
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I think its rediculous that simply because there is a black man in the picture, you take on essentialist slants (blipsters, obama, mythology of “the black rapist”).
So you know, you are rehashing thousands of years of mindless ignorance that has constructed any non-white person as “other” and has been used to justify horrendous actions (slavery, lynching, orientalism that constructs all east asians as terrorists and allows americans to blindly support a war they dont understand).
Last time i checked, beleiving something because it was what everyone else has said/thought/done before you is definitely not alt.
if you actually think your alt, how bout trying some revolutionary thought instead of rehashing the same shit anyone else would say and claiming you arent mainstream cause youve got a beard and a 300$ pair of ray ban glasses.
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//////////Reply by bob dobbs
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
@wannabe, word
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//////////Reply by luzinksi
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
@wannabe, this site should be called out, some of the comments r as depressing as youtube’s.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
@wannabe,
inverting the hierarchy is hardly ‘revolutionary’.
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//////////Reply by wannabe
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
@generk witty cmmnt, dont need to invert hierarchy, need to change patterns of mindless ignorance repeated over and over again. There is no need for ‘hierarchy ‘, simply to challenge hate-filled ideas… even just think about them… so that we are not acting without thinking. I think that is the definition of revolution. got to change things.
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Should I get an internship with Lenscrafters?
I’m worried about how “our people” are not taking care of their bodies the way they should. This man has become so blind, his eyes are turning “asian”. This is not acceptable.
Yo guys, we should “give back” to the community by working for an eye doctor (optometrist), a doctor of feet (podiatrist), or a poison control center. Seriously.
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no one can write like carles, not even tao lin. Spike Lee wins!
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I’ve just read the most bullshit evar, yall try too hard.
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this sucks- shits racist mang
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//////////Reply by wannabe
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
@Mason, thank you for pointing that out. carles pisses me off – racism is not ‘alt’
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concerned for lindsay-suicide-watch-lohana
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I am Homeless
I steer away from society
I will not fall victim to the stereotypical homeless lifestyle
I will be homeless in West Village instead of Brooklyn
I will be appealing to the people around me
I will have dignity, by being a gentleman
If I encounter you on this mysterious planet, we shall have a meaningful experience. Instead of me trying to “rob your ass”
I will never give up
I just came up on a Ipod
I went to my local goodwill store and got “new threads”.
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Great job everybody! I think this shows that we have to let our unique perspectives show instead of trying to fit in, and putting on a show to impress each other. Please remember not to spam though!!! :-)
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Title:
If I sponsor a fan blog contest based on a goofy pic of black man (w/ poor eyesight) will my readers reveal themselves as sad and ignorant and still not getting the joke (via poorly constructed racist jokes, mnstrm attitudes and blatant ripoffs)?
Does ne1 own the domain name hipsterripoff.com?
What percentage of my readers truly understand the definition of parody?
of satire?
Can that dude’s goggles perceive superficiality without having to read people’s blogs or hear them talk?
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//////////Reply by &bacon
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
@eggs,
If I found out that everybody in America already knows what satire is, [via mainstream shows like the office & colbert report] would I still just look like a person stating the obvious on a comment?
Or will people perceive me as a person who “gets it?”
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//////////Reply by shapes
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
@eggs, WINNER
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//////////Reply by wannabe
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
@eggs, i am in university and one of my minors is based on history of racism and racist ideologies. when white people joke about racism ’satiricaly’ its sort of just a cover for centuries of deep-rooted hatred and othering.
aka. not intelligent, therefore not funny, even a bit.
Reply
//////////Reply by eggs
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
@wannabe, winner for posting literal interpretation that sounds like an HRO joke.
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//////////Reply by lilers
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
@eggs, good call eggs, good call
//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
@eggs, totes agree
clearly w) choose ur own response is the optimal title.
my hro post is errored, I emailed it to carles.
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Not sure if these cmmnts are ‘good’, or if yall r ‘trying 2 hard’.
Will homeless Affy Americans become a relevant aesthetic in 2k10 [via 2k6 mountain man bro], or do ‘unkempt’ black ppl still gross yall out?
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//////////Reply by aw, fukk
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 1:13 am
@dahltin, ‘trying 2 hard’ is the new ‘not trying’
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Hey yall. Recently read an article by the Sasha FrereJoneses saying that alts should bcum more black.
Thinking about rebranding myself as a ‘negro’. Might trade in all my amm appy for BAPE. Might start a band that combines crunk with chillwave to form a genre called crunckwave?
Do yall wanna be blipstaz like me?
Is TVotR the Anco of black people?
Is it still alt to listen to The Kewl Kids?
Is Hudson Mohawke black?
soooooooooooooo many questions yall
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‘Will LeBron go 2 NYC in 2k10?’ [via Yankee hats, Jay-Z friendship]? Should we be worried about LBJ’s ‘graying hairs’?’
Also, ‘WTF’ with the long cmmnts? I don’t visit HRO to read ‘paragraphs.’ Just need some white/blue space yall.
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was buddy holly a black man?
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carles
i am here 4ur cause
that kyle tightass bro thats h8in on ur freedom to alt
will not win
we should all post his fake ass photography on here and not ‘credit’ his ‘genius’
the man must b brought down
in other news
hipsterkitty is the best
http://fuckyeahhipsterkitty.tumblr.com/
can relate to hipster kitty on so many levels
Reply
//////////Reply by chrysler5thavenue
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
@cousins,
chrysler5thavenue just blogged about the Kyle Dean Reinford vs. Carles controversy here:
http://chrysler5thavenue.blogspot.com/2009/12/hipster-photographer-freaks-out.html
Congrats to chrysler5thavenue for the picking this hot story up!!
Reply
//////////Reply by cold in da wintr
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
dear fall-
http://i771.photobucket.com/albums/xx358/xalisa666keysx/fallbekind.jpg
u havnt bin very kind dis yeer.. seem like winters b crepin on me nd i cant even hit my crack bong wifou myy frames foggin up. jus sayin
wack
dis b my xmas wish list;
mo rock
adobe slabs
brign 2pac bak2life
..
iforgot da rest
peace
yo i think crackrokc was invetnted by tha goverment 2 keep trill niggas lik me form takin 2 tha streets yall herd dat
pace nukka
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Am I authentic?
Am I too authentic?
Is my Starbucks cup for change or hot beverages?
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//////////Reply by Derrick_PHI SIGMA PI
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
@lilers, We are all authentic and unique in our own way. Don’t drink starbucks it’s corporate brain washing. I suggest you local coffee shop. If you went to university like me, you can go to lesser commercial places like Barnes and Nobles to buy coffee. Hey, At least it’s not starbucks.
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Its really ridiculous how much attention the american public/media give to “hipsters” they dont do shit, its not like their in gangs committing crimes and posing radical extremist views.
oh well guys guess ill just be happy as a UKaltbro… while london still doesnt give a shit about us.
thank fuck.
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love the bitching about ‘too long comments’… like that black man must be ‘holding a gun’ and making them all read the long comments. 15 minutes of fame, yall (via tvotr)
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I am Crls. You are Crls. This bro is Crls.
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//////////Reply by Blue Flood Gates
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
@john anybro, yeah.
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Think this bro is sporting 2k10’s version of shutter shades (via odd glasses).
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carles
is this u
http://fuckyeahamappy.tumblr.com/
inquiring minds want to know
cant decide if i shud follow or not
depends
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oaknyc now hires people of colour
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This is CRLS in a black man mask
buy your new I AM CRLS product…..
the black man mask
We also have white man masks, asian masks, hispanic masks, and pocahantas masks.
I want this mask .. then I can be this guy with boobs
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are black people free or absolutely free?
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//////////Reply by Oscar
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 1:53 am
@no fish today, lol is that a Patton Oswalt ref?
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do i have teeth?
are you a cop?
a runny egg sandwich?
wanna see my big ten dollar bill?
like new edition?
got any grapes?
am i bleeding?
http://www.myspace.com/dennisblackinstantclassic
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blog post: have ya’ll seen jersey shore?
see many anco parallels,
dont carles about material things
like [black dudes] social status
i just want 4 jager bombs
and a fist pump for my boyz
blu eyeshadow, not xactly guidette blue tho
refuse to call it down the shore
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My comment did not go through. I think it is a conspiracy. Carles is a terrorist.
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n) When u were a kid, did u think that all men who were on the streets were drug dealers, rapists, and kidnappers?
Yesterday morning I rode the train to work. I never ride the train to work. However, on this particular day I had previously left my bicycle on Bedford in Billyburg and had already slept in two hours. So, I’m on the train and I’m in a hungover/half-sleep/when-is-this-adderall-gonna-kick-in kind of daze. It is Wednesday. I was abruptly shaken from my stupor when suddenly, I thought I heard what seemed to be two AfAm tweenagers–who should have been in school–having a conversation about existentialism. This sudden jarring of my train of thought triggered a grand creative idea in my brain.
Upon hearing this anomaly (I really only thought I heard one of the girls say the word “existentialist”) I started to re-imagine Richard Linklater’s Waking Life (or maybe Slacker) as told by random black people. This put me in a very good mood. This and the adderall beginning to take effect.
I began to go about the rest of my train ride and my walk to my internet job placing complex thoughts in the minds of all the black people I saw talking on the phone, arguing with each other, playing cards, in barber shops. I witnessed all manner of niggadry taking place all around me and smiled, reinterpreting it as mind-baffling philosophy. I imagined filming black people in familiar (perhaps even stereotypical) situations speaking in a familiar (perhaps even stereotypical) manner about issues such as reality, free will, the relationship of the subject with others, the meaning of life, existentialism, situationist politics, posthumanity, the film theory of André Bazin, and on lucid dreaming.
The new film (playing in my head) is scored by the Wu-Tang and written and directed by Richard Linklater. It is not rotoscoped. Rotoscoping went too mainstream with those Charles Swab commercials. It is called “Waking Life 2 Step Up the Streets.” A section of the film’s dialogue might read:
Speed Levitch Ni99a: “sup’ nigga, yo, word ta motha god… On really romantic evenings of a nigga’s self, I straight go salsa dancing with my confusion on these hoes.”
or perhaps:
Pinball Playing Ni99a: “There’s only one instant in the game my nigga, and it’s right motha-fuckin now dawg. And it’s eternity. You smell me beverage?”
or perhaps:
Celine (Bonekweesha): I’ve been thinking also about something Tykweeta said that Kunlika said that Jwaseema said that her auntee Janisha heard that Hwakeem’s baby momma Younglikwanalikawanalikawanalika heard that you said.
Jesse (Tyrone): Here we go again with this shit.
Celine (Bonekweesha): Just about reincarnation and where all the new souls come through over time. Everybody says they have been the reincarnation of Cleopatra or Alexander The Great. I always want to tell them they were probably some dumb fuck like everybody else.
Something like that. This guy in this picture should definitely be cast in the film.
Is this post to racist for HRO?
Is it not racist if I am a black?
Is it racist if HRO posts something that someone black wrote about black people but used the n-word?
Is that like Carles using the n-word?
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‘How bad WAS Rivers Cuomo’s bus accident?’
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When you see me you probably only see a black man. I am more than that. When I look in the mirror my glasses reflects three images of myself. In my reflections I see more than the ashy shadowy me. To the right I am whatever the lighting is. (around christmas, green and red) and then to the left. I choose who I am. Today I was blue.I used to always wear all black so I could be more ‘true to myself’ however with recent developments of my people I have become very ashamed.
Most of the best paid, well known black leader (Tiger, Jz, and fidy) embarrassed my shade with infidelities, drug selling and in-body bullet collections.
Today I chose all the blue I could and it seems smurfs are also dealing high levels of racism. I was followed around am-appy and before I left they accused me of stealing the hat I am wearing now. Ironically they had identicals on sale for $45 ( what idiot would pay for a beaten down hat?!). The arab tending the gas station were I purchased my buglars ignored my presence until i wrung his service bell twice.
To everyone who still believes racism exist I have realized that racism isn’t just toward black people. Anyone who is different will be treated differently.
Should we all dress exactly the same to avoid racism?
Racism is obviously a terrible problem and we should do all we can to fix it. I suggest all people where black pants, white tops and we will change our show colors depending on our seasons.
Good day.
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This post is a gimmick Becca forced Carles in2 2 make the site more interactive. wudda bitch
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//////////Reply by jack
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
@dlzl, dont u get it..
ur the man now, yall
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blue.
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R OLD BLACK MEN THE MOST STYLISH DEMOGRAPHIC?
Was browsin’ some street fashion sites y’all and came to profound/bloggable conclusion. Old black men might be the most stylish of any demographic. Tru, most alts are young white lady/boyz but there are so many other non stylish people in our demographic such as juggalos/AF bros/people who buy all their clothes at target that they throw the average off[via 'bill gates walks into a bar theory]
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dear fall-
http://i771.photobucket.com/albums/xx358/xalisa666keysx/fallbekind.jpg
u havnt bin very kind dis yeer.. seem like winters b crepin on me nd i cant even hit my crack bong wifou myy frames foggin up. jus sayin
wack
dis b my xmas wish list;
mo rock
adobe slabs
brign 2pac bak2life
..
iforgot da rest
peace
yo i think crackrokc was invetnted by tha goverment 2 keep trill niggas lik me form takin 2 tha streets yall herd dat
pace nukka
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I like j.
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a species of ‘nebro’ thought to be extinct but awoken by blipsters united peace front after election of barry brobama
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//////////Reply by Delano
//////////Posted December 10th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
@Delano, awoken from cryogenical sleep
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i am a hipster in the year 2k75. not only is my entire outfit ironic but i have also ironically gotten surgery to look like an old black bro. i live in a relevant loft in siberia in the last non gentrified place in the world.
i’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. fixed gear hovercrafts on fire in the wastelands of neo bushwick. i watched an altbaguettes holobreasts glitter in the dark in the first underwater dive bar. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain… Time to die.
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where’s regbro when you need him??
feel he is more ‘qualified’ to discuss
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Am I racist if I assumed this man was homeless?
This man obviously isn’t homeless, he is the new poster model for AmAppy.
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2i79xjo&s=6
The hoodie, the glasses scream ‘LOOK AT ME I AM RELEVANT IN AN IRONIC WAY’, this is what the new alt is.
Good to see that AmAppy is bringing a new demographic into the spotlight- senior citizens
Will my senior discount work at AmAppy now? Hope so.
Also nice to see AmAppy team up with the sport industry, everyone needs to be fit and healthy, can still be relevant with a little bit of muscle
The major questions which arise when looking at this new AmAppy commercial, Do I need to change my skin colour to be alt? Is ethnic the new cool? Do I have to support the Yankees or can I support the Red Sox, is that still relevant? Do my glasses need to be prescription to be authentic?
Is there a new generation of Alt, people over 50? Also, do I really need to spend money to look this way? Wonder if I can grow that beard incredibly fast before it gets phased out. I also wonder if Jay Z will don this beard in his new videoclip, maybe a duet with Grizzly Bear.
I really want that blue hoodie hope AmAppy has my size. Hope it’s on sale as well.
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g) Do African Americans appreciate Animal Collective?
Wondering if this guy listens to indie. Has “hipster” glasses, and his facial expression/crazy stare might be an “ironic” pose (unless his craziness is authentic).
I know there are some people out there who are secretly a little bit “rascist”, and these people might think that this guy is too “black” to listen to a band like AnCo. Maybe TV on the Radio, but not AnCo, and definitely not Grizzly Bear.
However, I’m not rascist. His glasses say “I am and Indie fan.”
The crazy, possibly “on drugs” stare in his eyes says “I like experimental, far out stuff like the Animal Collectives.” His eyes maybe even say “I just found a peacebone in this dinosaur wing.”
His skin color says “If I listen to Indie, it is TV on the Radio, or the Heavy, or that one good song that Bloc Party did.”
The white hair in his beard says “I don’t listen to indie at all” but for the purposes of scientific inquiry, we should discount the beard. For the purposes of scientific speculation, imagine a younger him, perhaps in an American apparel V-Neck. Same glasses, same crazy stare. Knowing because of the V-Neck that he indubitably listens so some sort of “alt/indie” music, and assuming that his tastes in music were not so obscure that AnCo and TVOTR are both too “mainstream”, what do you think? AnCo, or TVOTR, or both? If he owns “Dear Science” and “Merriweather Post Pavillion” which one does he “bump” more often?
I think that for all us “white people” speculating on this, it comes to a matter of what musical element you think is more “black” – soulful, motown R&B style crooning, or “tribal” percussive rhythms, a la african drumming.
It is inarguable that TVOTR has more of the Soul thing going for it. You could say that Kyp Malone and Tunde Adebimpe are purveyors of “Hot Buttered Soul”, in their own Radiohead-loving way. If the “brother” pictured was a fan of Marvin Gaye back in the 1970s, he would probably be jamming TVOTR.
However, if you think that a “primal” feel is something that a “black” person could get into, AnCo is probably the band for him. Despite their love for jangly sixties pop melodies, the common denominator in their music is that it hits people at a very core, fundamental level. If “homeboy” here was a fan of P-Funk in the 70s, he would probably dig the weirdness and dance-friendly low-end of AnCo.
So which is it? I personally say that the stare in his eyes has “P-Funk/AnCo” written all over it. Pretty sure I saw George Clinton give the exact same stare once.
The underlying point seems to be that “black” people invented all the fundamental elements of modern pop/rock/indie/alt bands. Anything that doesn’t have its roots in the Blues (like all rock, pop, R&B does) probably has its roots in tribal drumming (hip-hop, dance, techno). So regardless of which band he likes more, there is a chance that this guy “gets it” more than we do.
The one thing we can probably conclusively prove, though, is that he probably doesn’t like Grizzy Bear that much.
new topic for discussion: is Grizzly Bear the “whitest” rock and roll band off all time?
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Caption:
Found these novelty nerd glasses at Spencer’s. Perfect for staring at the camera lady’s titties.
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hai guyz its just me homelessbro tryin 2 remind you that no matter what you do, juss make sure you do it. you know we’re all juss young now, living ‘the dream’ and cause we’re young we’re all gonna ‘land on our feet’ and junk but the dream wont last forever. not tryna be a buzz kill/buzzkillington (via famguyz) but you gotta think about where youre gonna be in like 20/30/40 yearz. you cant aspire to be a AmAppy model forever cause youre gonna lose those stick thin ‘pins’ one day and wont fit into your cheap mondayz/krew juvey jeanz forever ‘man’. if you want some thing just ‘go’ for it cause one day youll look back and think “why did i get this koi tattooed on my neck>? and why did i get these 14″ spacesr in my earlobes?” but before you get too down dont forget that you will be all good ‘man’ as long as you heed my advice. Drugs ARE cool, man, but so is moderation, you cant go to work ‘buzzin/peakin’ cause ppl just dont like it.
liek i said, no matter what you choose to do, just fkn do it, cause otherwise you might end up like me/myhomelessbros cause we were all good one day then we woke up and said ‘im not relevant anymore except to the ‘under the bridge’scene. anthony keatus from the RCHPbro turned out ok but that was kinda lucky. get love. make love. do stuff. stop listening to your friends. hi!
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//////////Reply by eggs
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 11:49 am
@egg, I’m gonna get whiny kylebro to sue you for posting this comment under a name almost identical to mine.
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Homeless Man OR Blipster
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i) Is this bro waiting outside of a relevant venue to see a relevant buzzband?
Can’t really remember who this bro reminds me of, but something tells me his althood is more authentic than ur typical entry level Am Appy sporting youth outside of movie theatre/hott topic/starbucks.
When it comes to establishing ur personal brand, nothing screams “not MNSTRM” like althenticity. ANd this blipster/hipster/morgan freeman definitely screams it. Wonder if altenthicity will be the next big buzzword of 2k10.
Anyway, chances are, he is the bro from TV on the Radio/Internet on the TV, forging ahead to create the defining movement of the next year. Tired of being just “a follower”, he moves 2 b some equivalent 2 a street Chris Columbus. In these tough economic times, bros are waiting behind every corner to imitate the first original style they find, so when you truly find the newest blog-worthy trend, you gotta watch ur back because u never know when some FGGT/ghey poser is fittin’ to steal ur “thunder”.
Maybe that’s why HRO has made it so big recently–there is only one Carles and no one can convince you otherwise.
That’s pretty much it, felt like it was “important” to share this photo/though/headiness with ya’ll
is this guy for real or is he just some looney?
is being looney for real?
will altenthicity be the biggest thing in 2k10?
Are legit hats/glasses/skin colors/_____ the key altenthicity?
what have you done recently 2 prove that ur “the real deal”?
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//////////Reply by DuderBoner
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 7:32 am
edit:
i) Is this bro waiting outside of a relevant venue to see a relevant buzzband?
Can’t really remember who this bro reminds me of, but something tells me his althood is more authentic than ur typical entry level Am Appy sporting youth outside of movie theatre/hott topic/starbucks.
When it comes to establishing ur personal brand, nothing screams “not MNSTRM” like althenticity. And this blipster/hipster/morgan freeman definitely screams it. Wonder if altenthicity will be the next big buzzword of 2k10.
Anyway, chances are, he is the bro from TV on the Radio/Internet on the TV, forging ahead to create the defining movement of the next year. Tired of being just “a follower”, he moves 2 b some equivalent 2 a street Chris Columbus. In these tough economic times, bros are waiting behind every corner 2 imitate the first original style they find, so when u truly find the newest blog-worthy trend, u gotta watch ur back because u never know when some FGGT/ghey poser is fittin’ 2 steal ur “thunder”.
Maybe that’s why HRO has made it so big recently–there is only 1 Carles and no 1 can convince u otherwise.
That’s pretty much it, felt like it was “important” to share this photo/thought/headiness with ya’ll
is this guy for real or is he just some looney?
is being looney for real?
will altenthicity be the biggest thing in 2k10?
Are legit hats/glasses/skin colors/_____ the key altenthicity?
what have you done recently 2 prove that ur “the real deal”?
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AMERICA THE LAND OF OPPORTUNITY
This man is the embodiment of freedom and change. This man is the embodiment of unchained individuality, weaving his anhhilating magic through social constructs to create his very own personal brand, not as a black male, not as a person of scarce resources, not as an American, but as an individual, whose value is to be attained through merit. Not the stereotypes that poison the common man’s mind.
What many people fail to notice when looking at this picture is its commentary upon the racism intrinsic in hipsterdom and ‘alternative scenes.’ The man wears two pair of glasses, a beard, a hoody, and a yankees’ cap, what would be a statement to irony in a white male, when seen on a black male, is thought as homelessness, poverty, a lack of education. He means to bring to our attention that hipsters are racist motherfcukers and probably a phenomena constructed by the Jewish+White media. Taking a closer look to the message he wishes to convey, we can even notice some of the symbolic undertones in his outfit, such as double glasses, to express what it is truly like to be a person aware of one’s reality. Not seeing only through the simple lens that society prescribes you.
This is a black man.
Who decided he could be hipster too.
He wont rap or wear bling
He will bring amappy to the hood
Through the lens he sees what’s true
so he’s probably cultured in music
and ethnic food
Irony is his weapon
forged to fight the ignorant
masses of white man
that don’t wanna let a >nigga< shine.
Is this man an allusion to Obama? Is he the next step in the civil rights movement? Will the 2010 hipster renounce to altracism? I leave these questions for you to ponder.
- Khalil, the Dominican Boy.
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back when bloghouse was real
http://leftshoedistrict.tumblr.com/post/279092944/these-guys-can-really-kick-it
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//////////Reply by jjj
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
@aw, fukk, yeah,!
The Nicholas Brothers are fuckin sick.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBb9hTyLjfM
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Kinda thinking about getting that Kraftwerk box set but don’t want my boyf, Tyrone, to know I’m into Krautrock. Gonna get my assistant to order it online and lissen to it at work.
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I bet this guy(ok, this bro) listens to a lot of Truman Peyote because with his superglasses he can see into the future and knows that Animal Collective is done and the future is Pey-o-te.
Oh, and that being a lazy bitch and having users write your content is the sign of a decaying, bongsmokedout mind.
RstJ
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Title: have the yankees soldout/ should i find a more authentic baseball franchise?
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So, there is a sequel to The Wire being shot in Northeast Portland?
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Feel like this man represents the American life.
We are all getting older. Parts of our bodies are dying.
We will all need glasses in the future. ‘metaphorically’ we will loose sight of ‘relevant trends’. we will be content will our already established brands.
We just want to ‘chill’. We will be out of touch with buzzbands and not ‘care’ about the name of the band of the songs we hear. Songs, photographs
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Feel like this man represents American life.
We are all getting older. Our bodies are dying.
We will all need glasses in the future. ‘metaphorically’ we will loose sight of ‘relevant trends’. we will be content will our already established brands.
We just want to ‘chill’. We will be out of touch with buzzbands and do not ‘care’ about the name of the band of the new song we heard. Songs, photographs, and new memes will pass us by.
We will move away from ownership of our brand items and understand that we are a collective working for a better branded tomorrow.
This man is getting old.
This man wears blue.
He wears the NYY hat to show his brand.
Just want to go where I can find ‘like minded’ bros to help build on my already established brand [via baseball games]
We are a collective branding tomorrow.
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‘Zeke’ doesn’t care about your animal collections. George Clinton was music he could FEEL.
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Immortal bro DJ Skeet Skeet in 2056
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Dear Carlitos,
You really dropped the ball here.
Get your shit together, meaning, start putting some more effort into this blog.
I’m pretty sure all you do all day is sit in front of the TV watching Murder She Wrote and eating Fritos.
You need to get out more- check what the scene looks like IRL…the internet can only show you a little bit of the world…you clearly only see this little bit.
sincerely,
a concerned
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THE POST SHOULD BE CALLED ZOMBIES CANT DANCE, CUS ZOMBIES CANT DANCE IS LIKE A STORY AND LIKE MUSIC AND LIKE HELLA OTHER SUPER FUN STUFF. http://www.zombiescantdance.com
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I am Gary.
You are Gary.
We are Gary.
Gary was ‘born to comment’.
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//////////Reply by antithesis
//////////Posted December 11th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
@Gary, go fuck yourself
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the 15th person to comment my blog saying “hello world” gets a free ‘random ass’ book from my bookshelf!!
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heard Becca also had a sex affair with Tigerbro, he needs to chill and focus on representing minorities better thru playing sports
xxing my fingers for a Reginaldbro analysis of the situation for an authentic perspective on this meme
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Some of us were born alt.
Some of us bcame alt thru our experiences & mistakes.
Here we have a man who has been ‘alt for all time’
Allt.
has he rejected all social cues??
rejected mnstrm life??
he has been in the ‘prime of his life’ for his entire life.
the dead giveaway that this man is on a ‘higher level of understanding’ is his glasses. they magnify. they stupify. they r alt, defined. they r his calling card.
one might theorize that maybe these glasses have been passed down from generation 2 generation of blipster. blipster phenom goes beyond the 2k0’s. it goes back b4 lil wayne. b4 usher. b4 R. kellybro. b4 MLkay.
alt comes from the streets. what we have here is something more than that. an teacher. alt incarnate. he stayed ‘true to himself’. his personal brand is stolen from nowhere. this bro existed before MTV and twotter.
b inspired.
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I like when people type ‘fcuk’ or ‘fcuking’ especially when they are serious. Best typo.
Post something new or these irrelevant comments will keep coming, Carles.
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 12:15 am
@brobro, i like when people censor their swear words and write something like “omg f*** u, u stupid b**** i hate u! i’m gonna kick ur @$$! Lol.”
Can’t really decide why anyone would do that…
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//////////Reply by godbro
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
@chilisfan, got to respect the abrahamic tradition nd consequent value system; dont want g*d to ‘get mad’ @ me for swears.
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Yeah this is just further proof that there is only one Carles, new posts please
preferably about Ambien© strength Chillwave music
also I feel that Urban Outfitters isn’t discussed enough on this blog
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 12:38 am
@Knobs,
fuck urban.
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 12:40 am
@generk witty cmmnt, hrmmm care to elaborate?
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//////////Reply by paige
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 10:03 am
@Knobs, stop viral marketing urban outfitters
chill wave is on its deth bed
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k k so sally on this place E
I’m doing fine, everybody how is everybody elese “D
love everyone :0
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hi y’all
http://www.modelmayhem.com/pics.php?id=783311
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//////////Reply by english
//////////Posted December 12th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
@modelbro, cool shades m8
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Crls, yall r gettn laZy ths wntr. Stay busy homeboy.
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this is what this bro gets for ’staring at the sun’ (via tvotr)
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This bro is a real deep bro, he’s into shit you and me have not even heard of. He knows his spirituality, he knows his share of buddihsm. This bro either knows the true or he’ll definitely discover it before the mainstream population and 99.965% of the alternative. This bro knows shit. Ask him and he’ll tell you some truths.
TheTruthBro – it’s him and he knows it!!!!!
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shit man, fucking hell.
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“I’ve got so much love to give (via DJ Falcon Bro)”
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is ’snap muzik’ still relevant?: eXamining the hood, yo
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isnt this the actor bro from that brooklyn appreciation music video? at exactly 1:28 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UjsXo9l6I8
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song for ariel
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TITLE: WHO IS THIS BRO?
WHO IS THIS BRO?
WHAT IS HE LOOKING AT?
WHERE DID HE COME FROM?
WHERE IS HE GOING?
DID HE STEAL THOSE CLOTHES?
WHERE DOES HE LIVE?
SO MANY QUESTIONS
ABOUT JUST ONE BRO
THERE IS A LOT OF MYSTERY IN
A PIC
WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE
IF PICS COULD TALK
THEY SAY A PIC HAS 1000 WORDS
BUT IF THATS TRUE
THAN WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS
ABOUT THIS BRO?
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Two words, Black Bubbles!!!
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