I was reading some mainstream snarky blogs and zany meme aggregators, and they showed off some guy who had a model of child predator glasses tattooed on to his face. Some people said that he is a ‘hipster’, but I feel like he might be more of a GenX-alt4lifer, who probably has a bartending job or something. Most people who have invested heavily in tattoos don’t have a ‘real job’, unless they are an African American professional athlete.
It seems like people who get tattoos ‘just want to bring more attention to their personal brand’, but this bro took it a step further. After covering his whole body with tattoos, he needed something more than I.R.L. ppl looking at him like ‘omg.’ He needed to create a lil bit of social media that ‘took the internet by storm.’
The process seems straightforward.
Have a ‘tattoo artist’ doodle/trace some glasses on to ur face/skull.
Make sure every1 is chill.
Make sure my mnstrm bro is filming it
Try not 2 ‘lol’ cuz of the pain.
Reassure urself. Say ‘when ppl look at my body during my open casket funeral, they will see an old man who had zany glasses tattied on to his face. They will truly understand me. This tatty is worth it 4 my long term brand goals.’
Get ready 4 the ink gun.
Bleeding a lil bit. Feeling pain.
Need 2 take a breather since it hurts so much.
Almost done… Wonder if a ‘tattoo artist’ has the same skills as a ’sandwich artist’ [via Subway].
Does my GF like it? She will look into this face as I make love 2 her. This face will sit across from her parents at Thnxgvng dnnr. These bifocals will enhance the view of my son exiting her birth canal. This bro is me.
Feeling pumped about my new brand. Like I could get a job at some sort of rugged Gen X alt lifestyle magazine like Vice or Street Carnage and Television Boners.
Feel happy 2 b alive. Feel happy 2 have a girl who will support me no matter what.
Is this bro a ‘hipster’?
Is this a ‘hipster meme’ that is as strong as ‘the hipster olympics’?
Is this bro ‘trying 2 hard’?
Is this bro ‘fucking bad ass’ and ‘not a pussy like u’ because he got a face tat?
What type of sunglasses would u get tattooed on to ur face? Wayfarers? Child Preds? Shuttershades?
Is this bro’s brand enhanced, or ‘in the shitter’ with his new face tat?
Is Mike Tyson the ultimate face tat bro?
Do u think he could hold down a job in Corporate Middle America?
Do u think this decade will have solid human memes?
Does it ‘hurt’ 2 get a tattoo?
Is the only pain that hurts u ‘emotional pain’?
Is there more 2 life than ‘how kewl u look’?
Is the GenX alternative brand ‘too raw’ 4 u, like they don’t value their own consumer power?
Do u ever miss ‘the old u’, before u transitioned ur brand into something totally new and different?
Ever just wish u could go back in time and chill with ur bros, back b4 everything got complicated?
Do u ever regret some of the personal branding choices/personal interests that ur personal brand implemented/absorbed?
Should I get a _________ tattoo on my _________?
Previous Child Predator Glasses Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/forecasting-the-child-predator-glasses-economy.html
Previous Zany Tattoos
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/tattoos
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76 Comments
r.i.p. jay reatard
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//////////Reply by chris
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 10:55 am
@bradfordcox, ur right, how can i think about glasses_bro when jay reatard is fucking dead? i feel like i have vertigo irl rt now
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//////////Reply by monster
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
@chris, RIP Jay Reatard. True rock n roll motherfucker. Blood Visions is one of the greatest records of all time. So sad
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//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
@monster, would someone please tell me who the f jay reatard is
//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
@monster,Ima bet you are like 17 or 18
//////////Reply by THE "SITUATION"
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:46 pm
@bradfordcox, LET THE MYTHOLOGIZING BEGIN!!!
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Man, she is gonna leave him one day…
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//////////Reply by hipsterectomy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 12:19 pm
@Drew, she will leave him for a shuttershadetatt_bro
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
@hipsterectomy, hahahahaha
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maniac, how does he afford all those tats, he def isnt working at a corp job, mom and dad? what a doofus
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//////////Reply by ant1ph0n
//////////Posted January 18th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
@hestompedterra, a few possibilities. he’s had a secure “job” before getting covered with attention seeking tattoos. he’s an apprentice at a shop. his g/f pays for it.
as for me, my ex paid for my left sleeve which was awesome =p
there’s really not a problem with tattoos as long as you can cover them. so obviously, unless you want to wear gloves, ski masks and scarves all the time, don’t get them in those particular areas… -_-
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Im gonna get jay reatards face tattooed on my face
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//////////Reply by OhNoOhMy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
@\\\\\, wrd
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I’ve been keeping up with HRO for a while now, I know you from high school and I just want you to know how proud I am of your accomplishments. I’m just wondering if you’ve quit your day job yet.
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
@THE REAL A.W.K., Do you think CARLES reach the American Dream in an honest and ethical way?
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//////////Reply by Cindy Pepper
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 7:48 am
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK, God, I hope so.
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holy life changing mistake batman!
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//////////Reply by tragedy in toyland
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 6:10 pm
@megadeathfromabove, it was a viral advertisement for ray ban it’s fake
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//////////Reply by megadeathfromabove
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 11:50 am
@tragedy in toyland, in the end they were just after my 18-30 year old dollar. Feel like a pawn in their game of lies.
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I’m going to get a jar of horchata tattooed on my face.
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//////////Reply by hoochie coo
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 11:48 am
@Bipster, pics, plz.
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//////////Reply by hipsterectomy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
All he wants is an alt brand and glasses tatt for his grrl.
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
@hipsterectomy, b4 MTV True Life “I Hate My Tattoos”
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//////////Reply by Blackface Killah
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 2:52 pm
@Knobs, met this lady who produced MTV True Life at a Coachella Pool Party. Told her I was thinking about getting my first tatt and she said I could probably be on the show. Then she told me that I would not be paid and MTV would also not pay for the tatt. Don’t understand how ‘Pimp My Ride’ can have the budget to put six TV’s in one car and True Life won’t even pay for your tatt.
//////////Reply by broette
//////////Posted May 25th, 2010 at 9:30 pm
@Bipster, I’m going 2 get my cousins tatted on my face
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This was a publicity stunt for Ray Ban. It has nothing to do with his personal brand so much as it’s selling out for a corporate brand.
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 12:01 pm
@AdGeek, seriously don’t want him 2 get paid for that, h8 him, h8 his tatstylelifebrand
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
@AdGeek, That is a Ray Ban knock off tattoo anyways, no lil logo
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‘She will look into this face as I make love 2 her. This face will sit across from her parents at Thnxgvng dnnr’
true dat. what a douche.
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rip reatard
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am i 2 much of a str8-edge bro?
cuz i think face tats and hand tats are fucking stupid
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
@wawawawa, Only Earth Crisis face tattoos are well within mosh standards
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This dude’s a dumbass, he should’ve gotten a monocle.
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 2:18 pm
@takamata,
holy shit that is EXACTLY what i was thinking, ill buy u a pbr next time i c u
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//////////Reply by ant1ph0n
//////////Posted January 18th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
@takamata, brilliant!
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‘dammit’
-glasses_bro in 3 years
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//////////Reply by eedit
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 2:35 pm
@\\\\\, hahahaahah
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//////////Reply by smokymtn dbldip
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
@eedit more like fuckin 3 days. got damn
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I hope you got paid to post this, bro.
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//////////Reply by TripStar
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
@yvynyl, or some sweet ray bans
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hmmm, that will be ‘chill’ through october, entry-leveler by december, and mainstreamer/ghey in a year. i own a pair, but my pair doesnt require ‘lasers’ to remove when they arent ‘in’. also does that ruin it now when he wears them///
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i have this tattoo on my face. MAN! I’m so beyond all trends.
no srsly, this disgust me in disguise.
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Bebe on The Cobrasnake, doesn’t rep HRO once
CLICK CLICK
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
@Knobs, wow no html skill bro
http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos/backthatthangup/IMG_1595.html
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//////////Reply by DAT ASS
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
@Knobs, GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE GOLD MINE
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//////////Reply by cousins
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
@Knobs,
not sure how i feel about bebe zeva pictures that aren’t highly contrasted
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 5:31 pm
@cousins, miss u, photoshopped bebe zeva.
//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 8:39 pm
@Knobs, wtf am i looking at?
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//////////Reply by Nun on the run
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 6:17 am
@Knobs, She’s supercool! Does she know Sky (Ferreira)?
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currently attending school to be able to remove tatts think im gnna be hella rich in about 5 yrs when ever1 scramble to remove the mnstrm mistakes
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//////////Reply by OhNoOhMy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
@TripStar, capitALTlist
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//////////Reply by TripStar
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
@OhNoOhMy, dolla dolla bils ya’ll
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//////////Reply by lizard
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 5:21 pm
@TripStar,
NICE
This guy is retarded and I would never hire him at the fact factory.
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this guy is a receptionist at the place I get my haircut in LA. I’m not kidding
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//////////Reply by OhNoOhMy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 3:47 pm
@steve guttenberg, where??
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//////////Reply by chris
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 4:46 pm
@steve guttenberg, shoulda got a mutton chops tatty. resentment is a torturous prospect, glasses_bro.
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That’s cool that he got John Corbett to do it but maybe he should have hired somebody who can actually draw a straight line.
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cant even pretend to be an altchick reading HRO for this comment.
This guy is just asking to get punched in the face via douchebag tattoo of the Hamburglers mask
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omg jay reatard died. :( carles you cant die before i do.
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so glad i dont hang out with this bro and have to listen to all his lame eye glass jokes.
“u wouldnt hit a guy with glasses would ya?”
“has ne 1 seen my glasses? oops im wearing them!”
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//////////Reply by OhNoOhMy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
@HJ, hardy hardy hardy harr
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//////////Reply by DAT ASS
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
@HJ, goddamnit i actually lol’d, thus breaking my stranglehold on the caps lock key. well played HJ, well played.
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
@DAT ASS,
wow thats pretty ‘heavy’ glad i could help
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//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
@HJ, “they were all of contact lens tattoos!”
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//////////Reply by smith
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
@\\\\\, jokes are funnier when they have all of the words
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//////////Reply by john candy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:07 pm
@smith,
real talk.
this dbag didnt get enough attention from his parents when he was a baby (h8 u mom/dad)
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..errr, getting that off is gona b a bitch……..unless he has a job that doesnt mind such, uh, attrocities. but hey, kid looks happy. that matters, init?
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he could always wear tons of make-up
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//////////Reply by lizard
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 5:23 pm
@OhNoOhMy,
HAHAHA! TRUE EMO
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thats retarted
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//////////Reply by john candy
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
@SMKBNZ88, that’s reatarded*
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//////////Reply by plant food
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 10:30 am
@john candy, that’s retarded
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if he isn’t respected by alt’s, isnt that an indictment on the alt community’s true authenticity and uniqueness? how are corporate-premade-brands more ‘alt’ than this dude? i think we should be embracing him.
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
@chris, word.
<3 face tat guy and his zany personal brand
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//////////Reply by Lola
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 4:59 am
@chris, i feel like as alts you are only supposed to try so hard until it starts to look like you’re just trying to be different. bro crossed over into an unacceptable realm of trying, he should be exiled
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raybans are gay
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//////////Reply by Elle
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
@Lewis, gaybans
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//////////Reply by Ezra Koenig
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
@Elle, Gheybans
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//////////Reply by Lewis
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 2:06 am
@Lewis,
why does everyone think jay reatard is dead?
Reply
//////////Reply by gaudi
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 2:24 am
@Lewis,
because he is.
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it wouldve been more alt had he gotten tape tattooed on the middle of the “frames” but i do like the uber alt no lens look for now.
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//////////Reply by lizard
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 5:25 pm
@(|), agreed!
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Wow.
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wow it doesn’t look good at all
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how can yall sit around and talk about tats when
1- RIP JAY REATARD
2- BEBE ZEVA ON COBRASNAKE
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 5:49 pm
@chilisfan,
and the ep release of 2010 buzz band ‘haiti.’
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//////////Reply by rudolph virchbro
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
@generk witty cmmnt, ‘haiti’ = viral mrktng campy for the arcades on fire?
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//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 1:32 pm
@rudolph virchbro, ‘haiti’ = viral mrktng for ‘Wyclef Jean and the Fugees’ reunion tour
//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:50 pm
@chilisfan, BRO… You reall fuckin check Da cobrs? “Oh YEAH Yeah! Only Post Ironically though.”
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//////////Reply by chilisfan
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK, nah bro. dont really lyke cobrabro… too many mainstream tits. i saw it on tumblr. that’s how i know about everything that ever happens.
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That a TR401 Tri-Coffee I see?
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1. Carles, why haven’t you posted on Jay Reatard’s death?
2. “Tattoo bro” is not alt NOR is he relevant. He is one of Ray-Ban’s (the altest glasses brand) few – if not only – corporate tool(s). Worried tattoo bro may bring Ray-Ban to a mnstrm audience.
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//////////Reply by HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
@funky_rutabaga, Le me guess. you probs want him to pos somethin bout Jersey shur too.
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This is a viral marketing campaign. The tattoo is fake. Watch the video on youtube. This is a bloggable meme that was genetically modified (via Corn) to be a bloggable meme. CRLS is just playing in 2 the fake hype surrounding this “personal branding”. Viral Viddy Masquerade 2k10: Climbing Hype Mtn.
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i would enjoy banging his girl with no mercy
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//////////Reply by d00dz
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 8:43 pm
@no fish today, his girl looks kinda trashy… like her face is rotting from not eating enough and spending too much time in smoke-filled rooms
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//////////Reply by b4hc
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 10:16 pm
@d00dz, perf for merciless fuck
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//////////Reply by no fish today
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 9:16 pm
@d00dz, exactly
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looks more like a pair of goggles, maybe rec-specs
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//////////Reply by rev. pat robertson
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
@mr. jeffers,
benjamin gibby specs
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i wonder what he’s going to do when that already retarded trend finally becomes realized as retarded. what a dickhead.
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pretty “disappointed” carles fell for this viral
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His GF is sorta ‘hott.’
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
@Bipster, In a ‘wore out’ and ‘dates guys with neck tattoos’ sorta way
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//////////Reply by dax jax
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
@Knobs, plus “scabby”.
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What’s that thing on his gf’s face?
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//////////Reply by ( @ Y @ )
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
@chrysler5thavenue, herpes
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//////////Reply by lizard
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
@( @ Y @ ), sifilis
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This was fake. I know the kid – and the tattoo, the video, and the photoshoot are faked and are actually from months ago. It is a viral video from Raybans where they used clever cuts and special effects makeup to fool a bunch of retards into over-reacting and getting buttheart and angry over getting one pulled on them.
But hey, for the last 72 hours thousands of people online have typed, thought, and said “Raybans”. So mission successful.
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//////////Reply by oliviar
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 8:48 pm
@shitsfake, thinking about something and buying it are two completely different things.
i’m assaulted with a barrage of advertisements every day, it’s not going to make me buy them.
what the fuck is the point otherwise, to make us say “RayBan”? i’m sure that could have been executed in way that’s considerably less annoying.
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//////////Reply by okbro
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 8:59 pm
@oliviar, whether it’s real or not makes no difference to this post.
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//////////Reply by 'Haiti' -The Musical
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:04 pm
@shitsfake, is ‘trolling’ viral marketing 2.0?
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Nah, bro. ‘Wayfarers.’
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//////////Reply by Bipster
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
@FGGTWAGGON, word.
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man that boi is totally living in 2005, i mean the wayfayers are a classic look, but come on every1 knows that Ray Ban’s Clubmasters are the new sunglass choice of alts. ( via michael cera in youth in revolt)
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//////////Reply by gottabeanony
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 2:35 am
@Chubs, clubmasters are sooo goood.
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the cmmnts used to be way funnier ‘back in the day’, like is everyone still upset over haiti and jay reatard, or something
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LOOKS LIKE THE DUDE WHO ALWAYS FUCKS FAYE RAEGEN. / faye velntine
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
@HOMOSAPIEN_FUCK, CEO of AmAppy?
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‘lost4lyfe’
like the peen boys called girls.
yawwwwwn, 2kay10.
earthquakes are ’sad’.
eyetooz are permeme.
~ http://omg.ly/4wLh ~
new db,ic, bitchezzzz
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//////////Reply by black mars
//////////Posted January 14th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
@black mars, u fknfggr,u fell for it.
L7 (retrogr8)
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might as well’ve gotten these
http://totallylookslike.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/bono.jpg
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if this is real, it’s one of the gayest things I’ve ever seen
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Should I submit this to http://www.yourtattoosucks.com or wait for him to?
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Nerd glasses have had their day. I mean cmon the writing’s on the wall I put up mine a year ago and go a nice pair of faux tortoiseshell ones. I still miss you nerd/buddy holly glasses.
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Possibly the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.
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Maybe I should just design a ZANY tee at threadless.com
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h8 virl mktg
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Fuck i just got gayban frames like this with my last Rx change guess my nu brand is mnstrm_bro. can i pass them off as post-post ironic? im so fucked
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This dude is (or at least was) the singer in a hardcore band from Iowa City, Iowa, he used to work in the Co-op Market and he’s a regular @ the Picador – http://www.thepicador.com/ which is where I saw his band play once.
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//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
@tabdynamo, csb
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i’d see his porn
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my swatch watch tattoo is still wicked kewl after 23 years
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//////////Reply by Knobs
//////////Posted January 15th, 2010 at 6:31 pm
@bob dobbs, is it a tattoo of the X swatch [via vegan xXx till the day i eat a heroin soaked steak]
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if thats real then holy shit what a dumb idiot fag
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i fucking lol’ed hard. what a douchefag
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thinking of getting a tat of my
‘personal brand’
may get ‘cousins’ on the back of my neck to symbolize
my connection2 carles/the internet/alts
not via the vampyweek song
may have to reevaluate my HRO name
cant b tied to a mnstrm band that tanked
via MTV/VH1
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ooooh, blog365 fail
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//////////Reply by gottabeanony
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 2:36 am
@christine, roflzzzz
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//////////Reply by yayay
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 5:13 am
@christine, wuz comin here 2 ‘talk shit’ 2. gj.
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//////////Reply by Bipster
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 6:29 am
@christine, I was just about to make a joke about FAIL365. Damn.
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//////////Reply by Mittens
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 9:25 am
@christine,
i ‘cried’
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//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
@christine, 4sho and it was on a shitty post which makes it worse
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whos this jay retard guy?
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//////////Reply by Elle
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
@tagonist m, http://tinyurl.com/y9axdpk
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//////////Reply by Who Cares
//////////Posted January 16th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
@Elle,
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=andrew+fenlon+american+idol
Andrew Fenlon 4 HRO.
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ugly people make me vomit my breakfast out of my nose
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What song is playing in the background? It’s awesome.
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Carles, did you ‘forget’ to blog yesterday?
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Carles
Missing u
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OMG this guy is totally weird. I respect him for having the confidence to go around with that tattooed, but seriously that’s taking it too far.
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less tattoo glasses more carles, KAY?
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ummmm…. Carles: snark much? Bartending is a REAL job. And it doesn’t require selling out.
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d00d looks like a character from teh ‘peanuts’ comics.
‘pub stunt’ or not, he looks ridic
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This guy obviously just gets tats to distract people from his weird teeth.
The middle part of the shades are a little too thick via the bridge of his schnoz. looks weird
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wayfarers are not child predator glasses, they do however attract douchebags hopping on the bandwagon.
i liked them a lot because of pictures i saw from the 50s of people wearing them…
i do hope the cheap knock offs with color variations disappear though =\
p.s. especially the ‘tards wearing them sans lenses
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also. your comment about tattoos is totally ignorant =\
people who get tattoos for the sake of attention, yes, they don’t have “real jobs”.
i have a sleeve myself and am disgusted with 80% of the people i see covered with tattoos because they are literally skin deep when it comes to reasons/meaning of why it’s there in the first place.
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//////////Reply by Nurg
//////////Posted January 26th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
@ant1ph0n, Yeah, you’re totally different…
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