
Last nite, I watched the Super Bowl, because I am currently working in a mainstream office environment, and I secretly feel insecure when every1 else is talking abt a mainstream event, yet I don’t have a progressive opinion to ’share’ that goes over every1′ heads. The Super Bowl seems like a more fulfilling viewing event than awards shows like the Oscars or Grammys or the BCS championship because you have 2 forces/teams ‘battling’ to be the champion, instead of just voter opinions and computer algorithms.
Did u have a ‘Super Bowl party’ with chips, dips, meats, brewskies, and ‘bros’?

I feel like the Super Bowl is the 1 event all year that really unites the country. Thanksgiving + Christmas are so forced, but I feel like every1 really ‘comes together for the Super Bowl. If the two teams are ‘compelling’, ‘exciting’ or just ‘from a big market’, the Super Bowl usually goes well. Every1 in America was ’some what aware’ that a football game was occurring, because their lives’ were made more meaningful/inconvenienced by it. Just want to be able to have ‘meaningful discussions’ about ‘the big game’, then feel a little bit disenfranchised with life because I don’t ‘care’ about it the same way other ppl do.
Did alt stuff happen during the super bowl?
I feel ‘most interested’ in the alternative landmark events that happened during the Super Bowl. To most alts/ternatives, the 2k10 Super Bowl will be known as ‘the year the Arcade Fire scored the soundtrack 2 the Super Bowl.’ Every several minutes, the meaningful chorus of their hit song “Wake Up” played over and over again, as it was cobranded with the NFL. I wonder if their song was better utilized in the marketing campaign of Where The Wild Things Are.
In terms of ’selling out’, this might be the biggest case of ’sell out’ in the history of indie music. Theoretically, there was no larger stage viewed by a wider audience than the Super Bowl. I feel like the Super Bowl will begin to showcase former indie bands during half time in the second half of the decade. For all we know, Arcade Fire negotiated a Super Bowl halftime ‘guarantee’ into their contract for this licensing.
To combat ’selling out’, it was important for the Arcade Fire to send out an email blast to relevant sites+bloggers, letting consumers know that they were ‘going to give the licensing money to Haiti.’ It seems like this was a ‘good gesture’, but as the Arcade Fire transforms into a mindie (mainstream indie) band, you can’t help but wonder if that was a ‘calculated’ move.

I feel like they did this both ‘for a good cause’, and to have another positive story/brand bit in their wikipedia entry.
Also saw the Grizzly Bear song “Two Weeks” in a Volkswagen commercial. It seems like that ‘jingle’ was created for mass markets, and it was only a matter of time before it was utilized in a commercial. Volkswagen may or may not be an alt brand. Possibly is a B-rate ‘trustafarian’ brand. It makes me feel better knowing that Grizz Bear is being compensated instead of ‘giving their money away to Haitians’ after so many people texted ‘HAITI’ to 90999. It seems like a lot of tweens probably already gave enough money 2 save Haiti, or am I ‘being naive/Americentric’?
‘Just sort of relieved the New Orleans Saints won, reminding us that ‘we had our own disaster’ on American soil, and we need 2 fix what is wrong IN America before we invade Iraq/Iran + help with foreign crises. Fire Obama.’
-progressive conservative/liberal
Also saw some Google commercial. I guess they have to ‘advertise because they are a lifestyle brand, and fear Bing + Yahoo searches. The concept of their commercial idealizes/romanticizes the idea of studying abroad in France, meeting a cute French Broad, then importing her to the states and putting an exotic blooded child in her.
Is Google ‘misleading’ consumers by promising them happiness/success if they continue to solve their problems by googling them?
Does this commercial make u want 2 study abroad?
Was sorta surprised to see Alt Famous Photographer Noah Kalina in a Dodge Charger Super Bowl Commercial. Noah Kalina went ‘mad viral’ because he took a picture of himself every day for 6 years, then made a viral youtube video abt it.

The commercial seems to be an admission that ‘life as a man sucks’, but there are simple pleasures that you can enjoy during ur lifetime. One of them is ‘driving an awesome car.’ Another one might be ‘cheating on your wife.’ Another one is probably ‘eating 5000 calorie meals and dying from heart failure.’ Just want 2 make commercials that appeal the middle American Man.
Not sure how much ‘alt stuff’ happened during the actual game. Think that the Super Bowl is just a ‘consumer expo’ sort of like some sort of global convention [via web conferencing].
Does n e 1 know if Hurricane Katrina is ‘officially over’ now that the New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl?

Drew Brees’ son also seemed pretty alt after his dad won the Super Bowl. He put on some ‘huge headphones’ and acted like he ‘didn’t give a damn’ about the Super Bowl.

Do u think he was listening to Animal Collective in order to make the experience more meaningful?
Also, some ‘cool grandpa’ band called The Who played halftime. It seemed like they were some sort of parody of a classic rock band, but I am not really familiar with music from before the year 2000.

Peyton Manning was apparently going to be ‘the Greatest Quarterback of All Time’ if he won this game, but he ‘choked bigtime.’ It seems like this loss will cost him millions of dollars. He had a great opportunity to become ‘the most marketable athlete to old white people’ because of Tiger Woods’ fall from grace, but he won’t be able to command the millions of dollars that a true champion could have.

Worried about his body language. Like he is a ’sore loser’/not a ‘genuine leader.’

Not sure how Americans would feel knowing that the UEFA Champions League Final gets more global viewers than the Super Bowl. As an American, I thought that the Modern ‘National Past Time’ (the NFL) had a global reach, but I think more global ppl are into soccer + NBA basketball [via Yao Ming China effect].

Can’t believe soccer/real ‘football’ is still the global game. Worried that American Football might be as ‘retarded’ as the American Metric System.
Commercial Analysis
Here is some in-depth consumer analysis some of the most relevant commercials of the Super Bowl.
Saw this McDonalds commercial where two black athlete NBA players play a game of ‘HORSE.’ Dwight Howard and LeBron James are two of the most marketable NBA players because they are young, and don’t have a bad reputation yet. They continue to attempt ‘out of this world’ dunks which are created with visual effects. This commercial seems like it is supposed to appeal to ’stupid people’ who think dunks are ‘effing sweet’ and are not aware of the societal impact of the fast food industry. Professional athletes enjoy fast food because of their limited income upbringings and their rigorous practice schedule which enables them to burn 3,000-10,000 calories per day.
(Please Note: McDonalds placed Larry Bird in this commercial so that the commercial wasn’t ‘too black’, and didn’t only appeal to new, young NBA fans.)
Another former African American basketball player, Charles Barkley starred in a Taco Bell commercial. He is known for being an ‘outspoken black talking head who we have all learned to love.’ Despite a gambling addiction and drunken sexual indiscretions, Taco Bell thought his silly brand would help them sell Taco Combo meals, served in a branded box.
Do u want to buy a taco box from a 400 lb rhyming man in a huge suit?

Do u ‘forgive him’ for past alleged ‘criminal’ activities?

He seems to have evolved into a jolly, fat, radically opinionated man, as opposed to an ‘angry black man.’
Also saw that Bud Light attempted to ‘tap into’ the mainstream infatuation with the autotune phenomenon from 2k9.
Thought ‘autotune was dead’ or something [via rap wars].
Feel like I’m going to improve my lifestyle and get more into a ‘lower calorie’ beer. This commercial shows Lance Armstrong on his ‘kick ass schedule’, but then chilling at the end of the night by drinking a Michelob Ultra.
R u going to start drinking a low-cal beer instead of PBR/Hi Life/Bud Heavy/Sparks?
This DOVE commercial encourages men to ‘reflect on their lives’. The message of this commercial is that ‘you will have the same cookie cutter life track/experience as every1 else’, but you should still take time to make sure ur skin is chill. This seems to be the new message of products that appeal to ‘men.’ Instead of going ‘extreme’ to appeal to men, they are starting to get ‘reflective.’
Wonder what ‘the modern man’ will be all about in the 2k10s.
Heard there was ‘controversy’ about Tim Tebow’s pro-life commercial, discouraging humans from getting abortions. From what I have read, Tim Tebow is a conservative college football quarterback who embodies ‘positive family values [via alcohol-free virgin lifestyle].’ He appeals to residents of the Bible Belt who still consider college football to be a better product than professional football.
This commercial didn’t ’say anything’ and was probably too abstract to mean anything to anyone. Tim Tebow just got to brand himself as a ‘goodhearted’ human who has a ‘Gift from God.’ From what I have read, he will not contribute to an NFL team, and will probably just coach and have a ‘Remember the Titans’ type of coaching brand.
Overall, the commercials were ‘the same as always.’ Nothing innovative, really, because Middle America isn’t responsive to innovation. It seems like all commercials will probably stay ‘zany.’ Just like giving consumers a way to ‘escape’ into an extreme hypothetical situation. This Doritos commercial captures the essence of the Bro in Extreme Situation With Zany Outcome Zeitgeist.
Just want to be a bro who stars in a Super Bowl ad, representing a somewhat ‘offbeat’ human with a ‘different’ perspective on the world.
Just want to be buried in a coffin full of nacho cheesier/cooler ranch Doritos.
What was ‘the best commercial’ of the super bowl?
Did the Arcade Fire ’sell out’ more than Grizz Bear?
Should I buy a Volkswagen/Jetta/ Grizzly Bear Mobile?

Does the Super Bowl bring humans together?
Is Hurricane Katrina ‘over’?
Is Haiti Earthquake ‘worse than’ Hurricane Katrina?
Should we pull troops out of Afghanistan?
Will New Orleans be destroyed by a Hurricane withing the next 5 years, making this Super Bowl victory irrelevant?
Who is the most marketable athlete?
Do lifestyle brands ‘waste money’ on Super Bowl ads?
What product r u gonna try because of the Super Bowl?
Do sports ‘matter’?
Is American Football overrated by Americans?
Is the World Cup the only pure sporting experience?
Predicted Super Bowl Halftime shows performers for the next 10 years:
2011: Kings of Leon
2012: John Mayer + Justin Timberlake
2013: The Killers + Jay-Z and Beyonce
2014: Arcade Fire / Death Cab
2015: Lady Gaga
2016: Coldplay
2017: Vampire Weekend
2018: The Beatles [via hologram]
2019: The Black Eyed Peas
2020: Washed Out, Neon Indian, Justin Bieber
(Who do yall predict?)
Do u think Drew Brees’ son is down 2 listen to some chill wave/ternative mp3s [via his big headphones]?

Do u feel like every day is sorta like the Super Bowl of Memes?



















57 Comments
first…really?
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//////////Reply by i love egg
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
@eggs, i love egg
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//////////Reply by chickenz
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
@eggs, this isn’t over you sneaky fuck
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//////////Reply by PLove
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 12:01 am
Carles,
RE : BBall Mickey-Ds ad
wuz actch a remake
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oACRt-Qp-s
thot you mite wanna no
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//////////Reply by melbourne
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 5:34 am
@eggs, do am appy advertise during the super bowl? man, pantytime is giving me a boner…
its probably best if they dont advertise during the superbowl… dont want am appy to sell out, cos then i need a new hoodie…
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first peace
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//////////Reply by coolidge
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 10:38 pm
@white blipster, and the funny thing is: I BEGAN ONE
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god damnit…thought i was the only one without a productive lifestyle brand
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also like to say that pro-choicers should have been allowed to respond to the Lil’Timmy Tebow ad (via an aborted fetus playing football).
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first?
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//////////Reply by triforce
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
@triforce,
aw, not even close
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heard about anti abortion commercial, didn’t believe it. woooooooooow.
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//////////Reply by oliviar
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
@oliviar, on another note:
yeah that bitch is lucky, who else would pay for her botox
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WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
WHO DAT
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//////////Reply by Frames
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 8:00 pm
@skybread,
That’s Steve. He works in Accounting.
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Dear Karls,
Stop taking adderall. Your posts are getting way to long and way to thoughtful/ carefully and deliberately crafted. I worry that you may have spent at least 4 hours working on this. Please try to take yourself a little less seriously.
For your health,
a concerned friend
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durst, fred
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
@HJ, shit
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Wtf was with that “pro-life” commercial. Why waste airtime or spend money on something so controversial on something so abstract that it has no merit/in the super bowl, a feel good thing where everyone gets together? I already lost my respect for FOTF (respect of being raised on their kiddie tapes that was lost when they discussed the doctor), but this is just ridiculous.
Tired of “militant Christians”. I would like to see more “mellow” ones. Hey, you worship a different god/don’t believe in one, that’s ok. I may try to convert you from time to time, but it’s out of love as I don’t want you to party in hell w/shitty bands. Heaven is a much better venue although all the good words are censored.
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//////////Reply by Elle
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 10:07 pm
@hey, His mom had an at-risk pregnancy and the doctor gave her the choice to abort or not, and she chose not to. You’d think pro-choicers would be supporting her, but I guess they only support women who choose to abort.
Commercial was still a waste though. If they’re so pro-family they could have donated the money for it to families in need.
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//////////Reply by bye
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 12:52 am
@hey, your getting pretty militant there. mellow out.
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saints’ onside kick was pretty alt
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ngl i checked hro to see if people can watch this shit ironically
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kings of leon again. shit.
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Tebow should have been aborted.
Also, I think CRLS is a secret Sports Bro.
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peyton manningforehead is a big fan of “The Who.” he was clearly affected by that halftime performance. my make believe man in the sky.
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drinkin google beer w/ etrade chips
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Wish they played on a blanket of doritos
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indie is dead. the nfl, of all things, killed it.
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“Middle America isn’t responsive to innovation” Very true.
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I think it is rude not to answer all the lovely questions you asked me. So here goes.
No, I didn’t have a SB party.
I did something Alt. I went to visit my mom in the mental hospital. What’s funny is the patients were having a SB party. So maybe it wasn’t alt.
If you’re naive/Americentric, I am too.
Google will solve all your problems. Or at least the quick, easy answer to your problem.
No, I don’t want to study abroad.
I say Katrina was over a long time ago. Linking a hurricane and a sporting event is dumb.
Drew Brees’ son was listening to Arcade Fire like everyone else because if we learned anything from that Dove commercial, we are all living the same life with minor details changed.
I would totally buy a taco box from Charles Barkley. Then I could get his autograph.
I forgive him.
I don’t drink beer.
I think the VW commercial was the best. Stevie Wonder was funny.
I don’t believe in saying bands have sold out. If they are selling their albums on iTunes they are already for sell. More power to them if they can make money other ways. That usually means more money for them to make more music we can enjoy.
Yes buy a Jetta. Or don’t.
I guess the superbowl does bring humans together. So did Katrina. So?
They were both horrible.
Don’t pull troops out.
Hope not!
LeBron.
It’s their money to “waste.”
I’m either going to try not having an abortion or I might buy one of those $5 Taco Bell boxes. It’s only $5.
Not really.
YES.
No.
My prediction is Blanket Jackson 2031.
I hope.
Not really.
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shit, carles.
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saints, yall.
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i think perhaps the most relevant thing about the superbowl was the sperm/egg in cavernous vag at the beginning of the dove commercial
feel like sperm is under represented in advertising/marketing
but also feel like i was just trying to be funny?
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i feel like maybe the superbowl commercials aren’t that ‘good,’ and it’s just hype, a hype which people can cling to because its so zany and most people don’t like football but at least they can have a reason to tune in and relate to their fellow americans. i haven’t watched a notable superbowl commercial since like ‘98.
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also feel like alt baby is glad to not have been aborted cause he got on tv lookin’ rad
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also feel like ‘the who’ was maybe alt 30-100 years ago and is now more less sad
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LOL AT GRIZZLY BEAR MOBILE.
MORE LIKE CAR THAT HOT CHICKS DRIVE CIRCA 1999-2k6
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//////////Reply by HJ
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 7:06 pm
@DAT ASS, back in caps
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In recognition of the “Super” Bowl, I ate ~50 Doritos, ~8 Buffalo Wings, and went to my local VW dealer to purchase a 2k10 Jetta TDI (diesel to save the Earth y’all) for the super low price of $22,830. Wish there was some alt form of the super bowl – feel there would be more meaning to the consumption of Doritos and Buffalo Wings. Maybe alts across America will form a bowling league in a similar vein to the NFL (except for alt), and there will be a “super bowl”, where the two best teams face off. Maybe VW would donate Jetta TDIs to the alt bowling league as team vehicles, sponsoring us like Buick sponsored Tiger Woods. It would be an authentic to chill with alt bros and keut alt chicks at the bowling alley, eating greasy, cheese-laden pizza.
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//////////Reply by chrysler5thavenue
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 8:54 am
@funky_rutabaga, instead of bowling, let’s take advantage of the roller derby infrastructure that is already in place.
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i ate chip and salsa on my break at work.
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Carles is on fire today
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let’s remember that regine butler’s family was from Haiti and that a song on the album is called “Haiti”..i wouldn’t mark this under gimmick so quickly
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Wait, I thought “I only watch the Superbowl for the commercials” bros were just closeted football fans still not comfortable with their personal brand.
Straight bro says “I’m only going to the gay club because gays are more fun.”
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//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
@eggs, gays are more fun (to have sex with).
- Tim Tebow in 5 years
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alts are minority cynics
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Charles Barkley sold out years ago when he let Gnarles Barkley use his name for a Black Eyed Pees cover band.
Never going to watch the TNT halftime show after this. He let yall down 4EAE.
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do your research! the cofounder of arcade fire is from haiti
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//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 9:24 pm
@*~, um… Wyclef isn’t in Arcade Fires, dipshit!
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//////////Reply by Fast Eddie
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 12:29 am
@\\\\\, ummm, check the alt report
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//////////Reply by matt
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 12:43 am
believe me i thoroughly enjoy the lens through which carles views pop culture however i think its messed up that he had to call the arcade fire haiti donation a stunt for wikipedia glory when in fact it probably touched a founding member in a very real way
//////////Reply by \\\\\\\\\\
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 12:29 pm
@Fast Eddie, Just because they wrote a song titled Haiti doesn’t negate the fact that that ‘founding member’ is a ‘fucking pussy’ who left the country to move to Canada.
Gunther says, ghey. TLDR.
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I missed the super bowl because my cable was disconnected.
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//////////Reply by Elle
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 10:02 pm
@Montell Williams, pay yo bills montell
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So loving Charles Barkley right now. Reminds me of my childhood, and how much i preferred Jordan/SNES.
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//////////Reply by apreludes
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
@Acid Midget, is it just me or did ‘certain kinds of kids’ have a genesis vs. a snes? like owning a genesis meant you had a mullet or something
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//////////Reply by Acid Midget
//////////Posted February 11th, 2010 at 12:57 am
@apreludes, genesis vs. snes = jordan vs barkley = lots of time indoors = remaining a virgin til age 16.
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Don’t watch the super bowl. Pack one
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Can’t fault the CFO of GrizzBear (@EdwardDroste) for trying to tie his brand to a cash cow like the NFL. Maybe this will help GrizzBear, Inc. be able to afford higher production value on their next vinyl. Sick of this lo-fi Vecky shit.
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why no Velvet underground prediction?? they probably play b4 the strokes do
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//////////Reply by elfggt
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
@steve jobs,
noooooooo not more “cool grandpa” bandz
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//////////Reply by gaudi
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
@steve jobs,
because the velv undergrounds suck. honestly. i only pretend to like them because its required for music fucks like myself.
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//////////Reply by steve jobs
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
@gaudi, yeah but no 1 likes the who either or ne other band that played in the super bowel?? im velvet undie fan, but i think at least lou reed will get played b4 ne indie/ternative band plays.
just a guess ???
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//////////Reply by Blackface Killah
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
@steve jobs, Lou Reed won’t even play Sweet Jane for obliging fans, you think he’s gonna do a 15 minute greatest hits set for 100 million people?
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//////////Reply by steve jobs
//////////Posted February 8th, 2010 at 11:32 pm
@Blackface Killah,
ur right, but he probs be asked to play b4 the other bands. John cale could make a velvet underground w/ marine tauker. John cale and marine tauker doin velvet underground(in memory of andy warhol)
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//////////Reply by Lou Reed
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 1:03 am
@Blackface Killah, i’ll play the super bowl if i’m given the option of not showing up.
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//////////Reply by teh
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
@steve jobs, nah, they need something that TOTAALLY ROCKS and that grampa’s can get sorta pumped but not too much because they have a wife/kids/employees. it’s gonna be something like red hot chili peppers. everyone can relate to those like sorta funky basslines and shit.
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//////////Reply by chrysler5thavenue
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 8:58 am
@teh, did you see Flea play the bass on the nat’l anthem at the college champy bowl?
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PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT something bad will happen. NOW UV STARTED READIN DIS DUNT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY. SEND THIS TO 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS. THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS ACTUALLY WORKs
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//////////Reply by Abroham Lincoln
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 10:15 pm
@a, Is this true? Really scared right now, yall.
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Carlse, I knew it, you fucking poser. This site is a front, and you’re a run-of-the-mill sports faggot. To answer your question, there is NOTHING alt about the super bowl, the night when every douchebag and his dad sit in front of a radiating box and eat nachos, and you’re full of shit if you say you only watched it ironically. That commercial analysis you provided speaks volumes. It says you were just as drawn in as every other website/blog to type inane posts about the most irrelevant night of the year. Fuck you.
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//////////Reply by Fast Eddie
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 12:41 am
@whatevs, what a bitch this guy is! The Super Bowl is ALWAYS gonna be alt. Not liking the Super Bowl is for fucking losers (which you are)
PS- Is it baseball season yet? : /
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//////////Reply by whatevs
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 3:14 am
@Fast Eddie, who cares if it’s baseball season? You missed the spirit of my post. There is nothing “relevant” about sitting in front of a television watching guys run from or towards one another. It is a pointless exercise in conformity that leads you to watch sports. You are trying to validate yourself in the eyes of other men by declaring allegiance to a local team, thereby displaying the kind of mindless loyalty that would make a wolf pack jealous. Are you afraid to be an individual? Is being a sports super fan a better identity than you could muster on your own? Is ballet really gay, or are you afraid you might like it too much?
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//////////Reply by hey
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 9:58 am
@whatevs, I hope you’re being sarcastic, as lending yourself to a hive-minded subculture such as being alternative is just as “conformist.”
//////////Reply by teh
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 1:46 pm
@whatevs, hey dude, you’re caring about stuff way too much. you are me circa 10th grade. the superbowl can be a meaningful cultural/social experience, and being contradictory about everything is really kinda the opposite of cool
//////////Reply by whatevs
//////////Posted February 9th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
@teh,
I’m sorry if my observation is the opposite of cool but this post was the opposite of genuine. The super bowl is the biggest commercially driven event of the year (next to Christmas), and marketed towards the large swaths of overweight underachievers in middle America who are more than happy to aggrandize meaningless events which distract them from reality. It combines two of the greatest poisons of free thought ever accepted into society: mindless team devotion, and observance and acceptance of corporate lies regarding irrelevant products. Please tell me what is “alternative” about this. The act of following sports is precisely an effort to “tune in” to mainstream culture, so how can this blog even pretend to discuss “alternative” cultures when the blogger has all along been a member of popular society? My theory is that Carles began this as a joke, a form of satire, but when it became popular he had to keep things going. But he doesn’t know enough about the so-called “alts” other than there dislike for popular music and bands that “sell out” so he milked those memes for as long as possible until this post, when his true interests were exposed: cheering on football teams, and internalizing commercial propaganda. There are no free-thinkers here.
//////////Reply by mainstream culture
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 1:11 am
@whatevs, you are really quick.
//////////Reply by teh
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 11:33 am
@whatevs, but how can you be an alt without understanding mainstream culture… also how can you socialize with you coworkers/mainstream friends/family? that is v. important to me, at least. i sorta kind wish i could retreat into a little alt bubble where people were all relevant/cool/snarky but i live in the real world.
also ‘free thinking’ is a farce because of many reasons, none bigger than the fact that no one lives completely isolated, and someone who does becomes irrelevant/out of touch pretty quickly.
in other words it doesnt matter if you watch the superbowl if you can frame it in its proper context wrt pop culture in the 2010s. we’re all constructing our own little history of events that were meaningful/not meaningful to our own lives. we weave it all together like a crocheted sweater. if the superbowl wasnt meaningful to me (it wasnt, for the record), i toss it aside like i toss out memories of going to a mcdonalds or driving my car to work.
if you dont watch more power to ya.
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//////////Reply by V
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
@teh, good points but when you
watch football to relate to mainstream friends and
watch commercials to deconstruct them and
listen to top40 ironically…
sometimes you cross the invisible alternative line and just become football/commerical/top40 guy.
to be alternative you have to be consuming less popular media and more alternative/new media. Its probably a 60alt / 40mnstrm balance to get the A(uthentic) badge.
more genuine alternative media posts please, carles. and not just posts making fun of suburban-alt tweens.
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//////////Reply by whatevs
//////////Posted February 12th, 2010 at 2:42 am
@teh, “‘free thinking’ is a farce because… someone who does becomes irrelevant.”
Irrelevant with respect to whom? The hordes of trend followers in their crock shoes too afraid to be honest with them selves? Maybe so. But not to anyone else. I am glad you have revealed your thought process. When you buy records, be careful not to become irrelevant by buying a band no one has heard of. When choosing clothes you will want polos and boat shoes, as current fashion dictates. Please do not try anything crazy and shop outside of the mall because that will make you irrelevant to the people who matter to you most. Whatever you do, let others know that you appreciate the same sports teams that they appreciate, and that your opinions are their opinions, and keep up to date on the latest American idle episodes. You do not want to become irrelevant.
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//////////Reply by Melly
//////////Posted February 12th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
@whatevs,
This is adorable.
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we drank dirty martinis, smoked hookah and watched ‘the office’
much more meaningful ‘bonding’ i think.
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Super Bowl XXXVIII !!!
I was singing Wake Up for the entire game this year.
Can’t wait to see Arcade Fire with a sweet light show.
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Wondering if this post was really written by Crls or the intern who updates the Alt Report…
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favre was the altest athlete, he was like fuck it imma throw a pick [and stick to a personal brand] when all I gotta do for mad cash and respect is run 15 feet and fall over [and sell out]
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Drew Brees’ son is rlly ‘into’ Owl City.
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@chaimy4life, In the top of my post, I wanted to state that I cannot stand either type of my bro roommates. Carry on. Or don’t. I hate you all.
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And PBR/Hi Life/Bud Heavy/Sparks all suck.
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And PBR/Hi Life/Bud Heavy/Sparks all suck. Grab a Newcastle, Blue Moon, or something real and stop whining and trying to be different all the time. Your scarves in 85 degree weather look incredibly stupid.
BUT I HAVE ODDLY COLORED SUNGLASSES! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Shut up. And the glasses you don’t need but wear to look ‘indie’ are just as ridiculous. I hope blind people rip your eyes out.
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So sick of irony and talking about irony. It’s the endless void. Don’t overanalyze, just do, go with your gut. penny penny.
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//////////Reply by chrysler5thavenue
//////////Posted February 10th, 2010 at 9:05 am
@Toe, if you’re sick of irony, try post-irony. Feel like you never explored the full potential of irony, just dabbled (if even) and reverted to your default pre-ironic state.
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People try to put us down.
Just because we get around.
Things they do look awful cold.
I hope I die before I get old.
Why don’t you all fade away.
And don’t try to dig what we all say.
I’m not trying to cause a big sensation.
I’m just talkin’ ’bout my generation.
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Soccer rocks! NFL too…
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Arcade Fire is the love of my life.
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I like it. Keep up the good work, Carles. It’s wise of you to diversify the content of your branding analysis; we all know where the alt market is going right now. But I don’t need to tell you that, do I?
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If your song is in a car commercial you have sold out because you have sold the right to have an advertising agency associate your song with a product. If you listen to a song on the radio you can think about whatever you want to think about while you listen but when your song is on a car commercial you think about how that band sold their song to a car company for a commercial while you watch and listen to the commercial/band. Indie bands have been selling out to car commercials for years and that is why indie is and has been pop music for a while now. Indie music in commercials is “commercial music”. Don’t pretend that Grizzly Bear and Phoenix aren’t pop music. Lots of people listen and like their music because those bands decided to sell out in order to get “air time” and have listeners associate there work to products. Anyone who likes that “garbage” is garbage because bands that write and then sell their garbage to products is as garbage as the marketable products they are getting paid to sell. Your band is only as good as the crap that it sells. VDubs are most definitely garbage and therefore so is Grizzly Bear. You all love pop music while you pretend to be different.
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