Every morning, I walk out on to the beach and dig my toes into the sand. The sand feels fragile, malleable–as if I could shape the entire coast line into any desired land formation by myself. The waters are calm and blue. I put on my waterproof iPod and go for a swim in the chill waves of the ocean.
It’s important for me to do this every morning because it keeps me in touch with Mother Indie (the sister of Mother Earth), who is responsible for creating the indiesphere’s natural wonders. We live in such a jaded post-blog era, where we would like to theorize that all organic buzz is manufactured by man-made forces. People try to be cutting edge by saying that websites, blogs, PR agents, record labels and other man-made companies are the forces that control the indiesphere.
But they don’t realize that there is something ‘organic’ about at the heart of the indiesphere. They don’t honor Mother Indie as the lady who bestows indie gifts upon us–mp3s, zany album art, music videos, and other buzzband related memes.
“Authentic buzz is organic. U can’t create man made buzz–true alts will see thru it.”
-Mother indie
Mother Indie is the natural force that creates buzzbands. She keeps the waters chill, waves crashing against the coast in a powerful, yet chill manner. She governs the natural processes of the album lifecycle. She has a direct relationship with Jimmy Fallon that keeps him in touch with the internet indie zeitgeist and helps him to book relevant buzzbands on his show. Mother Indie is the chil force behind everything beautiful and relevant in the buzzosphere. These ugly incidents in the buzzosphere are usually the result of human error and misguided judgment + action.
There are natural laws which guide the indiesphere. No one band, genre, website, blog, or any other buzz entity has more power than Mother Indie. A circle of memes has been created in the buzzosphere, and all participants in this beautiful process have a natural life & a natural death.
As consumers, we try so hard to ‘manage our personal brands’, and make educated decisions about relevant bands. We try to predict trends. We do our best to invest in buzzbands before they are mainstream bands. We ask ‘Why?’ We feel entitled to know ‘How?’ When a buzzband ‘breaks thru’, we want to understand the flow of data + information from band –> blog –> consumer, and how that creates a sustainable business model.
We need to stop asking ‘why?’ and learn to trust Mother Indie again. There is no explanation for the natural wonders of the buzzosphere.
So many snark critics accuse high level alts of being ‘trend hopping mother fuckers’, but they don’t understand that the true authentic alt is in touch with Mother Indie. While an outsider sees some1 who is constantly evolving, searching for new sounds, mp3s, and aesthetics, they don’t realize that Mother Indie is the one guiding us on our quest for authenticity. We aren’t just regular consumers, there is a spirit guiding everything that we do.
“AltLife is more than just collecting mp3s.”
-Mother Indie
Sometimes I wonder how man-made forces can ‘contaminate’ our alt blog world. I feel like sometimes bands are ‘forced down our throats’, getting ‘buzz status’ when their music isn’t even ‘that good.’ These man-made bands have numerous detrimental effects on our buzzosphere. The voice of the tastemaker is weakened. Our festival lineups are weakened. The 2nd and 3rd tiers of indie music fans are left ‘confused’, accidentally purchasing these albums because they trust indie websites.
Buzz pollution caused by man-made buzz is going to thaw our chill ass o-zone layer, exposing us to many hardcore rays from the sun, eventually ending the buzzosphere as we know it. Some could say that this is ‘natural’, but it is not up to one man, one blog, one band to decide the fate of the indiesphere. We can preserve our ecosystem as long as we’d like it to exist, but I worry. I worry that our time might be nearing, and our buzzosystem will begin to die.
Mother Indie is responsible for so many natural indie wonders.
Sometimes new genres are created. Some ‘make it.’ Others die as soon as they were created. We must trust in Mother Indie, knowing that she lets the ‘culturally relevant genres’ last forever.
Blogs come and go.
MP3s accumulate on your computer/iPod just to be lost in a hard drive crash/spill in2 water.
Buzzbands go into hibernation every 1 year.
Consumers are inspired to share their fave buzzbands with groups of their closest friends.
“Remix others as you would like to be remixed.” -Mother Indie
It seems like there are a lot of questions about the origination of ‘chillwave.’ Is chillwave a ‘man-made’ phenomenon, or is there something organic about it, created by Mother Indie? Were chillwave buzzbands created by man-made forces, or were they gifts provided by Mother Indie?
Some say that chillwave is a ‘bullshit blog microtrend.’ Others have invested their hearts in it, and have disconnected from the core spirit of ‘indie rock.’ Critics are so divided right now, unsure what is ‘real’ and what is ‘bullshit.’ There is always a desire to ‘move on.’ It is natural to try to find security in what we once cherished (the Arcade Fire, Panda Bear, etc), but we can’t be afraid any more. We can’t be afraid of the unknown. We can’t live each day on edge, praying for a new buzzband to provide us with some relevant MP3s.
We have to trust. We have to trust in Mother Indie.
Or else buzzbands will get soaked in oil, unable to move/evolve. We will all die.
I feel scared. I feel like some1 is going to cause an oil spill into chill waters. It will be some sort of ‘man-made’ force, trying too hard to create a new trend/band. Maybe a blog oil spill, leaking an album before it is in high quality format. Maybe a mainstream indie band buzz tanker will ‘spill’, contaminating the chill waters. Maybe a business that is ‘trying too hard’ to reach alts will cause a Mountain Dew/soda/liquor/oil spill.
So much 2 clean up.
So much pressure to ‘evolve’, for music to ‘move forward’ and find a new aesthetic/trend to rally behind.
But maybe Mother Indie just isn’t ready for that yet. She knows what she is doing. Bands, trends, genres will all die one day. But man made pollutants / unchill vibes might prematurely end what we have.
R u gonna be a part of the solution, chilling in harmony with Mother Indie?
Or are you part of the man-made indie machine?
Just want to chill
avoid man-made indie pollutants
Utopian style chill
where all buzz is organic + authentic
It’s time to start cleaning up the blogosphere
It’s time to start letting Mother Indie do her thing.
Have u ever been touched by Mother Indie?
Remember that time you felt goosebumps when you saw a buzzband at a music festival as the sun was setting? Mother Indie made that possible.
Do u remember the time you made out with the band member from _______? Mother Indie was your invisible wing man.
Do u remember that time you clicked on a link accidentally, but you found a really sweet buzzband? Mother Indie’s hand was on your mouse.
Do u remember when you wasted 2-5 years of your life reading indie music blogs? Mother Indie wants you to know that you weren’t wasting time–you were broing down with her.
Tomorrow morning, I’ll start my day like I start most days. I’ll take a walk out of my Brooklyn-based duplex apartment, thru the conceptual forest, down to the beach, and soak in the chillwaves. Tomorrow will be different though. Because today I realized that Mother Indie is under siege from man-made evils.
Mother Indie is more than just a connected wired + wireless network. Mother Indie is more than just data encoded in an mp3 file. Mother Indie is everything & nothing.
What man-made indie disasters are ruining the blogosphere?
What one website/indie band thinks they are bigger than Mother Indie?
Is chillwave a ‘bullshit trend’, or is it one of Mother Indie’s many gifts?
R u worried about a metaphorical oil spill?
Who is the BP of the indiesphere?
Can Kevin Costner save buzzbands?
Do u believe in Mother Indie, or is the buzzosphere just an incubated network of websites + PR agents + record labels?
Loading ...
48 Comments
FIRST!!
Reply
//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
@brogan,
always
wondered wut it felt like
2 ruin someone’s
first.
Reply
Im back
Reply
//////////Reply by steve gheyoki
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
@Joshbro, welcome back?
Reply
wavves is to blame for spreading this oil everywhere
Reply
//////////Reply by Elle
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 4:23 pm
@bro and altbag, well played, sir
Reply
//////////Reply by aye
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 5:08 pm
@bro and altbag, guess the gulf isn’t the best coast after all
Reply
//////////Reply by MEMEs
//////////Posted June 19th, 2010 at 7:06 am
@aye, har har har ^^
Reply
//////////Reply by no fish today
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
@bro and altbag, u sure it’s not the piss poor mgmt?
Reply
//////////Reply by wevvy chase
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
@no fish today, set the oil on (arcade) fire. prob solved.
Reply
//////////Reply by broseph stalin
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:03 pm
@wevvy chase,
the animal collective has been srsly damaged such as otters, pelicans and dolphins
//////////Reply by charles bronson
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:12 pm
@wevvy chase, BP has totes effed up the fisherman industry guyz. they taught us ‘how to destroy anglers’
//////////Reply by Jabba the Alt
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
@wevvy chase,
feel sad that the (Best) Coast has been ruined by this
//////////Reply by john digmeme
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 11:24 pm
@bro and altbag, feel like all the animals will be MIA for a while, will probably dip to lo latitudes
Reply
//////////Reply by punster runoff
//////////Posted June 19th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
@bro and altbag, totes hope the all the oil gets washed out
Reply
//////////Reply by punster runoff
//////////Posted June 19th, 2010 at 2:44 pm
@punster runoff, fuck
Reply
wonder when a digital pic of a blue whale, dolphin, killer whale, great white shark, giant squid, or manatee ‘engulfed’ in oil in the manner of one of those pelicans that seem ‘very fucked’ will surface
Reply
//////////Reply by Fuck BP/Profiteers
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
@tao, already dead lil’ dolphins, and prob pics of them too :( Washed up onshore like a month ago.
Reply
//////////Reply by Chillbro
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
@Fuck BP/Profiteers, washed out like a month ago
Reply
//////////Reply by Fuck BP/Profiteers
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 1:33 am
@Chillbro,
Yea bro, wrote that. just still so “washed out” about it that it “washes up” in my writing, you know? dead dolphins are so sad, yo, can’t contain the tears. You and I could even be a dolphin’s dream!
that sitch is totes gnar. sears roebuck n skinny jeans
Reply
last 2 posts been kinda suck, crls. :( just keepin it real. yr killin it with alt report tho. damn, crls. can u post more AZNs or something? damn…
Reply
//////////Reply by It'sa nice day today
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
@Xtreme B0redumb, agreed i thought this one had potential though man it just didn’t go anywhere.
more chilis playwright dramas plz.
Reply
//////////Reply by LCD Brosystem
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
@It’sa nice day today,
Tru dat the Chilis play was the shit [via eating too much Texas cheese fries]
Reply
//////////Reply by no fish today
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
@LCD Brosystem, should have gone chilli cheese fries
//////////Reply by chillwavvin
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 9:42 pm
@It’sa nice day today, <3 those
Reply
This piece was really ‘touching’ and ‘in(die)spirational’. Feel like CRLS’s writing is really growing more inquisitive. Feel like he is ‘coming of age’.
Feel so much more at peace with mother indie [via broing down with her].
<3 u
Reply
//////////Reply by lika brocial status
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 7:39 pm
@Quartertonalitybro, agree w u bro. epic post, crls.
feel pretty ‘scared’ at the new readership HRO is attracting. [via above]
Reply
//////////Reply by The Meme is the Meme
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 12:18 am
@Quartertonalitybro, third that bro
Reply
fuck bep/the xxon
if we all went solar
none of this would be
going on
h8 all the fat cat
dc lobby. bros
& shoes
fooz needa chill
listen to the earth song
hold hands.
Reply
why did bp do this to neon indian? hate you tony hayward.
Reply
h8 it when mother earff acts like a beezatch…more like mother-earth-in-law…
didn’t realize mother indie was such an alt MILF, so kewl.
Kevin Costner is our Jesus Christ.
is HRO alt purgatory?
Reply
//////////Reply by remixes are better
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 6:14 pm
@Brooklyn Sky, I am lucky enough to share the same birthday as the KC bro. I was born over 2 weeks late. feel like Mother Indie had bigger plans 4 me, so she kept me in my mom’s oven until my musical taste buds had turned a golden brown. guess the toothpick didn’t come out clean the 1st time.
so psyched for the future ya’ll. once we get this whole scene washed out, we can start anew and remember why we once <3 indie rock so much. really lookin forward to the indie easter of 2011.
Reply
//////////Reply by bro
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:57 pm
@remixes are better, easter 2012 is on april fools day
Reply
finally we have an answer, mother indie has the perfect alt breasts, y’all
Reply
//////////Reply by Mother
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 9:46 pm
@Mathew Broderick, No I do
Reply
feel like crls (<3) just "fucking schooled my ass"
just glad to be alive yall
Reply
//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 11:21 pm
@Altso Frightened,
samesies.
Reply
mother indie IS the great on fallon yall
Reply
epic post crls. epic metaphor.
i guess i’ve been feeling the same way lately. i mean i liked chillwave a lot last summer when it was just blowing up, but it’s definitely become a ‘lame duck’ genre or whatever you want to call it. a select few bands (we all know who these are) pioneered the sound and took it about as far as it could go, but the explosion of artists after the summer of 2k9 has been extremely derivative and mediocre. like the gulf coast, the scene’s kinda been ‘irrevocably tarnished.’
chillwave was fun while it lasted and i’ll probably keep neon indian, washed out, and toro records on my ipod for a while, but anyone who is still fully investing their musical passion into chillwave as the ‘future’ is misguided and pretty entry-level.
Reply
not completely invested in chillwave anyway
check out new julian lynch album
is “the shit”
Reply
fuck all “buzz” its music. spent a while watching schools of animal fish last week. we’re humans given lordship and should care about what matters. only mp3 buzz that should matter are buzzes that sync with beeps and shreds in mp3s.
Reply
Carles, imo this is the Best Post (that is both a BP joke and a Best Coast joke) you have ever made
good job imo
feel like the buzzosphere’s only hope is mtn dew, via its “natural”/”organic” name and also its greenness of its Label Sound
Reply
//////////Reply by greatonfallon
//////////Posted June 19th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
@tommy, thanks for explaining your joke. it really helped.
Reply
//////////Reply by RBroFL
//////////Posted August 18th, 2010 at 9:22 pm
@greatonfallon, haha.
Reply
hey yall this comment box is changed
Reply
this post needs some Dank of the West just to read through it
Reply
snorewave. the only supposed ‘glo-fi’ band that is any good is teengirl fantasy, and they’re not even that.
Reply
//////////Reply by AstroCandy
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 11:36 am
@Bear Grylls, wtf ever happened to teengirl fantasy? that shit was amazing last summer but i feel like i haven’t heard a new mp3 in a while.
Reply
New Genre: what Charles calls ‘mindie’ will now be called ‘spillwave’ [via indie pollution]
Reply
//////////Reply by Ford Brocus
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
@Abroham Lincoln, lol @spillwave
Reply
//////////Reply by ZacHip
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 12:22 am
@Abroham Lincoln, agreed
Reply
Best post ever, Crlsbro. Only WE can save indie from unchillness.
Reply
Also, Chillwavez as sustainable, long-lasting genre is just not going to happen. But…Palobro, Torbro and Washed Out-bro will last.
Reply
“they don’t realize that Mother Indie is the one guiding us on our quest for authenticity”
“Remix others as you would like to be remixed.”
dont know which is the better quote on this post?
Reply
you know who is responsible for all this forced man-made buzz crls talks about: pitchfork media
Reply
//////////Reply by carles bronson
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:18 pm
@Broe Jonas, no shit nigga
Reply
//////////Reply by Quartertonalitybro
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:21 pm
@Broe Jonas, p4k gave the oill spill an 8.5, putting it above the new Drake album.
BPSpill was great on Fallon, y’all.
Reply
//////////Reply by theradiopaper
//////////Posted June 18th, 2010 at 8:19 pm
@Quartertonalitybro, feels that, bro 2 tes <3s.
Reply
//////////Reply by Abroham Lincoln
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 8:50 pm
@Broe Jonas, p4k = BP?
Reply
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 10:24 am
@Abroham Lincoln,
was gunna write that bro
beat me 2 it
but u r correct in saying that
p4k = big pollutant = bp
Reply
//////////Reply by Alt Garfunkel
//////////Posted June 20th, 2010 at 2:40 am
@Abroham Lincoln,
The Big Pinks
The Busy Ps
The Bloc Parties
The Blackeyed Peas
or maybe BP stands for “Beyoncé ft Pdiddy”
Reply
Feel the the fat person meme queuing at a hypeburger, too lazy to do anything productive yet Sick of nothing but Band-bones to gnaw on.
Time to give back.
Starting a ban that sound like Two Gallants + electro Buzzband.
Should we all ‘get off our asses’?
Reply
Feel the the fat person meme queuing at a hypeburger, too lazy to do anything productive yet Sick of nothing but Band-bones to gnaw on.
Time to give back.
Starting a band that sound like Two Gallants + electro Buzzband.
Should we all ‘get off our asses’?
- Willd, the indieteer
Reply
crystal castles MADE of sand are washed out into the chillwavves sea evetua-post-conceptually
-meme hendrix
Reply
//////////Reply by Brover Norquist
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 7:11 am
@gushing poophole, *snap snap snap*
Reply
<3 this one Carles….
Reply
//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted June 16th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
@LCF,
always click on ur name
always get tricked.
Reply
//////////Reply by LCF
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
@generk witty cmmnt, ;)
Reply
<3 U MOTHER INDIE
Reply
<3 mother indie
<3 carles
<3 authentic buzzbands
MIA: music as BP: environment ya'll
Reply
feel like i saw this post in 3d circa 2k9.12 after puffin some dank
Reply
‘Mother Indie is dead.’
Reply
Mother indie is in us and we are in mother indie
Reply
slay bells is ttlly causing detrimental effects on the buzzosphere. feel scared that they will inspire a new wave of shitty music so powerful that mother indie will be crushed by its force.
feel like i should just play old AnCo & radiohead albums on repeat til mother indie comes back.
miss u mother indie.
Reply
//////////Reply by ZacHip
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 12:24 am
@in rainbros, are you kidding sleigh bells is epiccc. Definitely the music of summer 2k10
Reply
//////////Reply by Willd
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 5:12 am
@ZacHip, Didn’t enjoy the whole Ke$ha whining in it.
Reply
//////////Reply by ZacHip
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
@Willd, is Ke ha dollars and zero cents really in it? Shes the worst. I h8 all those fucking hipsters who like her and gaga. Cant believe gaga is headlining lolla.
//////////Reply by brobro
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 10:27 am
@ZacHip,
agreed slay bells is 1 of the few good things in 2k10
Reply
//////////Reply by in rainbros
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@ZacHip, ur ears have been clogged by man’s oil spill into the buzzosphere. practice meditation & mother indie will show u the way.
Reply
One of the greatest Carles
Reply
Great post.
Reply
Dude, you ttly ripped my cover illust via Oil Spill book from the Exxon Valdez shit!
Reply
//////////Reply by melvin broger
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 2:50 am
@melvin broger, fuckin’ had that shit as a youthster, cuz I was all about savin’ the environment and shit
Reply
lol .. mother indie. dude this is sad these pics r sad bro bro #altbags
Reply
so topical/relevant
such satisfying memes 2 add 2 the collection
<3 u mother indie. almost feel like i want 2 adjust my stated religion via 2010 census & replace it w/ "mother indie's son," "mother indie adherent," etc–but then i remember real ppl actually fill in "jedi," & when i am inevitably reminded in such cases of ppl who apply 4 jobs as "gfx design ninjas," i usually end up drunk @ midday w/ no idea how or why & a gaping abcess in my soul where my "faith in humanity" used 2 chill
guess on the deepest level what i'm tryin 2 say here is "gr8 post carles!!" or possibly "happy thursday yall!!"
Reply
//////////Reply by LordPancreas
//////////Posted June 19th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
@brory, h8 ‘gfx design ninjas’ 2. what would they even do? ‘drop in’ to a corpy office [via grappling hook] and draw a ‘shuriken’ in adobro photoshop?
Reply
h8 pitchfork. pf tries to control mother indie. mother indie will prevail.
Reply
//////////Reply by ZacHip
//////////Posted June 17th, 2010 at 9:17 pm
@KP, with you entirely.
Reply
the documentary about the doors sucks dick
Reply
wish i could direct an alt solar-pwrd cannon at the bps and fry them in the delishus sustainability rays
mother indie would love me forevs
Reply
swam kind of late last night, like, a little later than i’d normally consider going swimming i guess
Reply
This whole post seems so forced. Nice try. HRO isn’t authentic anymore.
Reply
feel bad 4 all the gulf coast buzz bands that mite get endangered. comforted by the fact that the gulf isn’t a ‘real ocean’
Reply
Brilliant.
Reply
Indie music was heading in the chillwave direction before there was a name for it. I feel we’re now at the peak of chillwave/low-fi/shoegaze, etc. There will always be a crowd for this kind of music. We see a paucity of new, more upbeat bands who are compelling and fun. There’s probably a hunger for that right now, and the tide will begin to change when some new really upbeat artists start hitting the radar.
Reply