As yall know, I haven’t been posting as much lately. I have some great news to relay to yall. I finally got married. It was a beautiful ceremony, and we even had one of my art school bros create a video for us that is really in line with our alternative brand. So many tacky ass people get standard wedding photographers to document their weddings. I think the goal of those photographers is to ‘make the bride look skinny’, and justify the groom’s role in the wedding by taking a few meaningful ‘bro pix’ that really make it clear that the groomsmen are an ‘authentic can of bros.’
N e ways, our conceptual video turned out pretty amazingly. We used the hit song “Sleepyhead” by the Passion Pits as ‘our song’ since it really represented our ‘new lease on life.’
Just wanted every1 at the wedding to ‘know who we are’
‘what we’re all about’
Understand that we are more than just ‘any other lame couple’
who is uniting together for tax benefits
Beautiful ceremony
Beautiful bros
Beautiful bitches
Walking around conceptually
moving arms, facing zany angles
metaphor 4 how we are ‘obtuse as shit’ in a right angled society
Eff dress shoes
Wearing some Converse
[via Best Coast / Vampy Weekend collab]
Feel like everything was perfect
for 1 night
we were all sleepie heads
A feast
a carnival
a partie
an electro rave without any deaths
Feel like my immediate family
and my extended family
finally realized ‘who I am’ as an alternative person
and how I ‘see the world’ in a different/abstract way
Just want to drive away with my lover
Riding the minivan wave
2 our honeymoon on the concrete beaches of Brooklyn
Are yall gonna have an alt wedding?
What indie song is going to be ‘yalls song’?
Did this video ‘kill it’?
Is this couple ‘the most authentic couple in the world’?
Do u think they will be happy forever, or will they get divorced when 1 of them decides that Passion Pit is ‘too entry level’ 4 them, then the other 1 gets defensive because the song ‘means a lot’ 2 them?
What are u gonna do at ur wedding to make sure u don’t have a mainstream, middle class wedding?
Do u feel sad when u see high school/college acquaintances ‘getting married’, ‘looking happy’, and ultimately having an upper-middle class tacky-wave wedding?
If ur not going to be rich, is the only thing left to do with ur life ‘get married and pop/poop out a few kids’?
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66 Comments
primerissimo
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//////////Reply by Silvio Brolusconi
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 1:20 pm
@Silvio Brolusconi, first on a carles post is the big leagues, made my day
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//////////Reply by slutwave
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 10:07 am
@Silvio Brolusconi, i look up to you bro
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//////////Reply by Silvio Brolusconi
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
@slutwave, thanks bro, that is ‘really meaningful’
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//////////Reply by Cabramel
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 7:43 pm
@Silvio Brolusconi, and a big congratulations to you sir!
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//////////Reply by woolvaries
//////////Posted July 31st, 2010 at 4:29 pm
i think u meant “first”. u got to sort ur ipad keyboard layout bro.
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hope the divorce video is just as alt, can’t wait yall
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//////////Reply by steve gheyoki
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
@meme or die, foreal
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those bitches are phat as fuck
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//////////Reply by brobabe
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
@mel gibson,
phat is the new alt
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//////////Reply by bro house (via beach)
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
@brobabe, I really think that when fat ppl try to make a conceptually heavy vid, it always fucks up. Maybe cuz they just dont fit in, or maybe cuz they are to busy eating to worry about how the concept is being portrayed. Kinda h8 fat ppl. Might even B greater than my h8 for 2k10 (via not many buzz-worthy releases/death of chillwave). My 2 cents yall.
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//////////Reply by rojobro
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 6:38 pm
@bro house (via beach), agreed. these ppl don’t even look alt in any way… just mainstrmrs who happen to like sunglasses, converse, and fat chicks. Ttly losers like many fatties. Hope I never get fat.
//////////Reply by tommy
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
@brobabe, via best coast’s drummer
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//////////Reply by rojobro
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
@brobabe, Dude, way off. US is sooo fat via stupid ppl not giving a shit if they are eating fat-filled chemical concoctions instead of real food.
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//////////Reply by DP
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
@rojobro, u can be fat and still eat all organic and nutritionz. jus sayin.
//////////Reply by Phatso
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
@mel gibson, right???? so crazy.
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//////////Reply by mel gibson
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 1:42 am
@Phatso, really didn’t like the part where they threw the origami cranes in the air. flabby arms ya’ll.
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still think ‘my gurls’ is the perfect alt wedding ‘jam’
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Passion Pit + Phat Chicks = entry level
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//////////Reply by slutwave
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 10:09 am
@Tastemaker, or is it
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//////////Reply by brory
//////////Posted July 31st, 2010 at 1:55 pm
@slutwave, “did the math” (via asking jeeves). turns out, it is
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i think bride had perfect alt back rolls(via being larger than her breatss)
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this isn’t alt at all
obesity is SO mainstream
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//////////Reply by Vastro the Chilean Bro
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
@bitch house, being phat on purpose is ironic
irony is alt
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//////////Reply by Hustla
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
@Vastro the Chilean Bro, You’ve got it bro!
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marrying a girl that fat is never a good look. I don’t care if Neon Injuns+ Feiry Arcades form some wierd chill-indie-wave-core supergroup and play a ‘that song from titanic’ 4 u. gross, bro.
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//////////Reply by chillamanjaro
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 9:28 am
@Robert E. Bro, “How can you stay with a fat girl who’ll say ‘oh, would you like to marry me, and if you like you can buy the ring’, she doesn’t care about anything.” (via brorissey)
feel like these arent alts // maybe more like former ska fatties that mebbe check p4k bimonthly
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congratulations crls ur wedding looks meaningful
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that kinda bummed me out, people shouldn’t air they’re personal moments via viral vidz.
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//////////Reply by synthasaur
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
@ernest’s peen, *their.
figured i’d help u out bro
or is the grammatical error ironic? if so, just kidding.
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the chris brown wedding dance was more alt
ps. dibs on starting a minivanwavecore band y’all
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//////////Reply by Elliott
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 11:44 am
@fapping 2 zola jesus, would it be something like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4
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altgrange georgia is the alt-est. So happy you choose to get married there CRLS. feel like that is ‘totes’ close to ernest greene’s lake house. maybe he rode the chill-lake-waves over to the wedding, and just effing alted it up. vibing hard to this song!!! what’s it called again? Who is this band??????
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def going 2 ask my luv 2 ‘alt-marry’ me via jumping on stage at nxt pp show.
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//////////Reply by mel gibson
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 1:45 am
@alt in love, hope she isn’t phat
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<3 when carles says "n e ways…" after setting up the post. also, lold @ walking around conceptually
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GOD DAMNIT CARLES, IM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SHIT. KNOCK IT OFF.
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//////////Reply by kurt brobain
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
@pretty broy, fuck carles
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these people SUCK
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Damn, she’s super fat already, imagine once she starts popping out kids? How is going to be able to find where to put his penis?
“f one fucks a roll and doesn’t know it’s not the vagina, does one truly get off?” -Broanardo DiVincci
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//////////Reply by 'Alther Payton
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
@’Alther Payton, Also, did you notice all her friends are fat? Do we make friends with people who look like us? Would a skinny broad risk her social status (via Panda Bear) on hangign with fat girls?
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
@’Alther Payton,
u bring up interesting questions, alter
1. skinny broads & fat friends
feel like the uglier a girls friends, the lower her self-esteem
2. once she is poppin out kidz
gonna b HUGE
appreciate the honest q’s,
generk witty cmmnt
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LOL!! that video was hilarious. that couple has a really strong sense of irony, i dig it.
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OBV midwesterners
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//////////Reply by wolfibheartammymozrt
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 7:14 pm
@sloth bear, if you consider GA midwest but I don’t. midwest is the best
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//////////Reply by Dick
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
@sloth bear, So true, where else are there people that fat/ugly/stuck in 4 years ago?
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//////////Reply by LoBro
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 10:06 pm
@Dick, Don’t h8 on land of the chillwaves. Ernest Greene and Chaz will beat your ass so bad you so bad you’ll ‘feel it all around’.
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//////////Reply by luvucrls
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 7:40 am
@LoBro, not sure if you ever really understood the “chillwave” movement. think you might be confusing it w/ ‘jugallocore’. feel pretty confident that ernest greene and chaz are too busy ‘trying to become librarians’ / ‘have too few muscles’ / ‘not enough aggression’ to actually beat someone. Also feel like ‘regional pride’ is so 2k4 ‘rappercore’.
Suppression of Prometastatic Phenotype of Highly Metastatic Androgen-Independent Rat Prostate Cancer MLL Cell Line by PI3K Inhibitor LY294002
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Damn
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Dear Carles,
Congratulations on your latest wedding. You’re really knocking them back! We gents have it easy…the bride’s family is the one that has to pay!
Best wishes,
The Codger
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just fucking awful
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//////////Reply by meh
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
@letters2god, agreed.. i couldn’t even watch the whole thing
fatssion pit
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crls, glad u got converse to sponsor your wedding
hope this ends ur feud w/ best coastie)
wonder what relevant dj dropped some sick beats (could only see his hands)
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//////////Reply by kurt brobain
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
@cousins, probs was dj pauly d (via mtv premiere last nite y’all)
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getting married is NOT alt in the first place, you little piece of !#$#^**(#!!@_)&*!, Carles! <3 u
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//////////Reply by HAlt
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
1. Passion SHIT was maybe a decent band 4 years ago. Definitely, mainstream now.. ‘Alt’ huh?
2. It was a nice video besides all those fat women lurking, also mainstream as hell.
3. You’re not alt just because you put some cheap paper cranes on top of your wedding cake and do a couple jumping shots and make “your song” one of the most played out “indie songs” probably ever.
Thumbs down amigo.
Also, why don’t you make your family even less proud of you by revealing you’re alternative. Because they weren’t already dissapointed that you were to be procreating with a whale, thus tarnishing the family’s geneology.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 4:04 pm
@HAlt,
=(
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//////////Reply by crystle tassels
//////////Posted August 2nd, 2010 at 4:22 pm
@HAlt, damn bro. chill.
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i thought you already got married and had a conceptual anco wedding. carles you sly dog you.
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WOW I’m amidst a shitty divorce. I’m keeping the dog.
This has made me not believe in weddings/love.
THIS WEDDING:
SHITTY WEDDING
SHITTY FOOD
SHITTY FRIENDS IN TENNIS SHOE WITH LITTLE SUPPORT
I know, I was there. The bitch’s centerpieces were weak, too.
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//////////Reply by majik
//////////Posted July 29th, 2010 at 6:45 pm
@LIAMandME,
+ SHITTY photography. Peopls were too stupid to even get a good wedding photographer obvs…
Agreed this looks like one SHITTY wedding.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
@LIAMandME,
h8 h8 g0 away
cum again another day
n if u dont I dont care
I’ll pull down ur underwear
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//////////Reply by LIAMandME
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
@generk witty cmmnt,
Rylee, is that you? You bitch, give me back Spunky.
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i would bang every ho at that wedding, especially your wife
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
@reptar,
but you’re a DINOSAUR! LMFAO!
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//////////Reply by whodafuuuuuk
//////////Posted July 31st, 2010 at 3:29 am
@generk witty cmmnt, reptar was NOT alt. too much angst…alwys thinkin he’s the baddest bitch.
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this is 2 kewel. want my wedding 2 b lke this. LOVE passionPit && fat chix.
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Wonder if behind the scenes documench (via special edition DVD) will show newly married groom having to put ointment on the blistered cankles of new wifey? (via chaffed cankles via converse sucks)
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Carles your second wedding this summer, last one had bubbles…
this time, the cake (looked good~ can’t go wrong w/vanilla & buttercream)
can’t people just hang anymore?
miss u high school lover.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
@LCF,
this post rlly summed up my sentiments
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//////////Reply by LCF
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
@generk witty cmmnt,
well, for you I’d say try an air sign…. ;)
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I wonder who grabbed the bouquet? Watch out for tha killer ‘alt’ bitch.
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feel like anyone who gets married in a church is a cunt
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//////////Reply by spec force commander
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 1:57 am
@torbro y moi, agreed
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the slow-mo running down the hill was more than I could bear with all that phat being bared. ew.
congrats n e way carles!
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It was beautifully done. Though in the mean time you just did some heavy advertising for that photographer, Carles.
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Mad weak wedding vid you got there Carles, totes flying in srs bsns foto/video peeps from west coast to shoot my wedding, whole s/t will be Prince Rama and Tennis.
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rich fat americans… fucking hate this shit. Instead of spending so much on putting together this irritating video and wedding, they should’ve hired personal trainers and called it a day.
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EVEN THE AZN is fat. I mean, SRSLY, wut is this.
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//////////Reply by DP
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
@Ezra Bronig, i dont even
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this reminds me of the “high school art film collaboration” scene from “Series 7: The Contenders”. If you havent seen it before heres a link it starts at 39:25. (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-117001353879304144#)
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Wanted to throw up a little bit after watching that…
Anyways, I think it would be more “alt” to get married at a courthouse and not telling anyone.
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//////////Reply by AZ SBro 1070
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
@BB,totes unchill(via actually experienceing it) h8 u garth
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“will they get divorced when 1 of them decides that Passion Pit is ‘too entry level’ 4 them, then the other 1 gets defensive because the song ‘means a lot’ 2 them?”
lolzlolzlolzlolzlolz
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h8 weddings. feel like puking.
so damn depressing cause it’s the end of freedom, youth and spontaneity.
and evvvvvvvveryone thinks that they are making their wedding soooo unique and shit, but they all just end up being the same.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 3:58 pm
@mALTeez,
maybe ur just a jerk!
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
@generk witty cmmnt,
a great big jerk!*
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//////////Reply by lisa
//////////Posted August 3rd, 2010 at 6:04 pm
@mALTeez, totes agree
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sleepie head!
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http://lastnightsparty.com/insomniac4/slides/IMG_7
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Hey guiz found carles’ facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?=743264506
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//////////Reply by kurt brobain
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
@Altso Frightened, lols i totes added him
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//////////Reply by Bro-Chill-Meme-Core
//////////Posted August 5th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
@Altso Frightened, weird-o! how’d you find that?
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nigga, how you gonna tell us you had 2weddings this year, nigga.
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<3 fat bitchez
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feel like they ‘don’t give a fuck what you think’ because you probably won’t ever get married anyway
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When I decide to marry, I will definitely shoot a conceptual video of myself feeding wedding cake to my overweight spouse. To the sound of The Decemberists. I like the editing here, and the ‘grown up clothing’ + Converse combo, that’s a new one, and the jumping. I might borrow these narrative elements when my time comes.
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Ok, kind of confused with this….didn’t we read about carles getting married like 2 months ago and walking down the aisle to amco “my girls” totes diff bride….just throwing it out there. if i really cared more i would attempt to find that video, but i dont.
on another note: big weddings = ‘a show’ = lack of any real connection = divorced within a year.
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//////////Reply by freebird1201
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 7:43 am
@freebird1201, alright i actually just watched this video and have concluded due to the serious lack of any blog worthy music/news carles has sunk to searching for ‘alt’ weddings and then relating it to himself…this video sucked btw.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
@freebird1201,
big wedding = lack of connection??
lol wtfx??/
get off hro!!!
go b meaningful n get eloped!!!
go ‘back 2 nature’ w/ur wifebro n quote thoreau!!!
rlly tho stop l00kin 4 coherence w/hro, will save u brain powr
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wait wtf crls didnt you just “get alt married” using my girls as ur wedding march?
CONFUSE.
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//////////Reply by hatewave
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 12:02 pm
@chillwavvesbro, lol must of not ‘worked out’
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does it mean the guy has a small penis when he’s much better looking than the girl? i heard that somewhere.
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//////////Reply by generk witty cmmnt
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
@xxxxxxxxx,
self hatred doessnt equal small peen
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//////////Reply by Bro Magnon
//////////Posted July 30th, 2010 at 11:58 pm
@generk witty cmmnt, small peen usually = self h8
i heard.
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meaningful porn > meaningful wedding vid
will be a ‘fuck u’ 2 the phallocentrism of mnstrm porn
will have all the rite ‘angles’
will b meaningful
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is it still really alt if you get married in a church/religious est? jus wonderin.
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I totes shed an alt tear y’all.
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In case sum1 hasn’t already said
LOLZ at her going after that cake
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I wish u invited me carles, I wld dance to passionshit and still show how alt i am by giving your vid an alt angle. but I would of had 2 move my arms more than u, bc i’m not married.
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dear kitty, BEST.WEDDING.EVER.
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This video lowered my liking for this blog. Passion Pit was not a good choice; I now question your values and opinions that you hold in such high regard. There were some good parts, but overall it turned my stomach upside down.. and not in the good way.
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face it all you angry skinny singlez, that lady married a fucken hot piece! quit being so jelly.
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//////////Reply by baguette
//////////Posted July 31st, 2010 at 7:20 pm
@deda, agreed bro, that fatty must be totez ‘kewl’ or give ‘mad gobbies’ to land such a sexie man
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guess i don’t chck hpstr rnff frqntly anymore. full of tweens pretnding 2 b ‘cool’ n get ‘married’ within 5 yrs
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this one sucked
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How to: Get On Hipster Runoff.
Get married set to a wonderful soundtrack of nothing but hipster anthems. 2) There must be s00per alt-dancing and 3) Document that shit and put it on either youtubes or vimeo, though vimeo is altsy-er [via not distorting my vids as much man!]
Carles are you becoming a sap? Nut up bitch
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I bless your wedding, Carles and wife no. 2. I hope this makes up for me sleeping through my cousin’s wedding three weeks ago. I’m too chill, I guess, to get out of bed. Maybe I would have woken up in time for an alt wedding.
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why do fat ppl always ruin everything? throughout the video all I noticed were her chbby cheeks and wide arms. she should try an alt jenny craig workout tape instead, amirite??
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For the sake of the bride’s dad, hope the reception dinner wasn’t buffet style.
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