Video: Herds of Tweens stampede into Urby Outty 2 buy kewl looking alt clothes.

I hate 'deals.'

Nothing makes me feel more 'trapped in society' than turning my life into a process of bargain hunting. Cutting coupons. Buying Groupons. Attending consumer-based holidays that imply that you are getting a 'sweet ass deal' like Black Friday. Will we ever escape from the Sprawl? Will we ever free ourselves from our deal-hunting 'instincts'? Maybe searching for 'deals' is an innate trait... Maybe cavemen bros searched for chill deals on cave drawing materials so that they could vibe out without feeling like they wasted caveman currency on overpriced materials.

Show me a man who is proud of the 'bargain'/'deal' he just purchased, and I see a man who has given up on life.

It makes me sad. Like an old woman searching in her purse for a coupon that will get her 50 cents off a Rice Krispie Treat. Why can't a Rice Krispie Treat just be worth a Rice Krispie Treat? How much does n e thing cost n e ways? Why do we even want Rice Krispie Treats? Is it because they are sweet? If we eat 2 many, will we get diabetes? Why is there a deal on them? Are they cheap 2 make? Should I just make my own? Does 'using a coupon' 'make me an informed, empowered consumer'?

I don't trust deals. I am not winning. We r all losing. Losing time. Losing $$$. Losing value. Losing life. Losing gift cards.

Sometimes I feel able to pride myself on 'being cultured', 'being educated', 'being globally-aware', but more importantly 'self-aware'. Why is it so easy for a 'deal' to turn some one into 'a savage', 'an animal', or in some cases, 'a poor'? Maybe we're afraid of wasting what we earned. We don't want to get effed over. Deals make us feel like we are 'beating' retailers and manufacturers, or at least getting close to 'breaking even' with their marked up prices.

'Deals' seem to make some1 feel 'smart', like they are 'beating the system', or something. They are showing 'dedication' to the pursuit of perfect consumerism. Maybe they just have a lot of anxiety about making 'overpriced' purchases, so a day like Black Friday is important to their self-concept.

Wife: Honey, we really need a new TV.
Husband: Babe. Let's wait til Black Friday so we can get a really big one 4 a really cheap price.
Wife: That sounds very prudent.
Husband: There is also something called Cyber Monday. We can order it from the internet.
Wife: I dunno... I like 2 see things b4 I buy them.
Husband: Let's go to Best Buy at 11 pm on Thursday evening so we can be one of the first 100 ppl in line.
Wife: That sounds like a mad house.
Husband: But don't u want a deal, babe?
Wife: Will our lives' be in danger?
Husband: If enough poors or gangbangers-turned-eBay-biz-owners show up, we could be in trouble.
Wife: Should I bring pepper spray?
Husband: I think that will help us.
Wife: Maybe we should just do the Cyber Monday thingie... I <3 online shopping!
Husband: We need a bigger screen.
Wife: I want gadgets that make my life better 4 a low price.
Husband: I want gadgets that are tiny with big screens that will improve my life.
Wife: Should we skip Thanksgiving, get in line at Best Buy and eat CLIF Bars 2 fuel us for our hunt for the best deal on a big ass flat screen TV?
Husband: Yes.
Wife: But if we get the same TV that every one else is getting, does that make us a poor?
Husband: I don't want to be a poor. Should we get a TV that is a bit pricier?
Wife: But we need a great deal.
Husband: Great deals come with great consequences.
Wife: I don't want to die.
Husband: We need a bigger screen.
Wife: Should we buy an extra Windows laptop too because it is cheap?
Husband: I think so.
Wife: Let's drive 1000 miles to a rural Best Buy so that there is less competition.
Husband: That is a good idea. I will hook up the airstreamer to the truck so that we have a place to camp out in style.

Why r we alive?
Do deals make u feel alive?
When u discover a deal, does it make u feel 'special', 'relieved', or 'trapped'?
Should we just #OccupyWalMart?

Whenever some1 talks about a 'sweet deal', I feel like they are anxious and insecure abt their income stream. A wise man potentially said 'every penny counts', but if u spend ur entire life counting pennies, then u potentially wasted ur entire life.

It all seems so empty. :-(

Do we rlly care abt what we earn? What are we 'saving'? Should I just take out a college loan and use it on 'deals'?

Should we just build a 'shanty town' outside of Best Buy, waiting for deals, hoarding the best of them, reselling them 4 profit, except we also offer deals on the deals that we just purchased? I feel stressed out thinking abt that business model. Is everything a deal or is nothing a deal?

If I bought a Groupon every day, would it make me 'hella rich'?

I h8 deals.
I h8 bargains.
I h8 coupons.
I h8 buying-1-and-getting-1-free.
I h8 __% off.
I h8 Black Friday.
I h8 Cyber Monday.

I am just part of a mob.
I am part of a volatile situation. I am part of a mob that requires 'crowd control', 'riot gear', 'pepper spray', 'loud noises', 'tear gas', and 'martial law.'

I just wanted a sweet deal, man. I read abt it in the paper. Why r u arresting me bc I found a deal? It's my life. It's my right 2 a deal. As an American, I am entitled to a bigger screen [via my TV] every ~2 years.

Should I buy a #DroidRazr and use it 2 'wipe my ass' with? [via 'There's an App 4 That']

Are 'sensational Black Friday incidents' just viral marketing ploys 2 increase demand 4 'electronic shit'?
Or are they just 'newsbits where anchors can shake their heads and t0tally fr0wn d0wn up0n 0ur c0n$umer $0ciety?'

Do I need a bigger screen?

Am I just a 'poor' with the self-concept of a middle-classer?
Does being part of the other 99% just mean that I have 2 stress abt how much things cost [via constraints]?
'Should we all just live off the land, man?' [via hippie garbage]
Why can't every day be Black Friday? I want 2 live in darkness.
Did Steve Jobs invent Black Friday 2 sell Apple products?
Do 'deals' and 'discounts' make u feel 'poor' and 'trapped'?
Do u <3 or h8 'deals'?