Twas the Nite B4 Buzzmas... | Hipster Runoff

Twas the Nite B4 Buzzmas...


Twas the night before Buzzmas, when all through the blogosphere
Not a buzzband was buzzing, not even a relevant ~9.0 range mindie band.
The mp3s were streaming from the blogspots year end lists,
In hopes that we could save ourselves from the buzz apocalypse.

The alt celebs were tweeting dumb thoughts from their heads,
While visions of chart topping sales vibed in their heads.
An entry level alt in her Coachella-wave tubetop, and I in my Am Appy tee,
Were canoodling in the section commonly referred 2 as VIP

When out on the blogs there arose such a clatter,
I sprang 2 refresh my social media network to see what was the matter.
Away to the Macbook I flew like a flash,
Tore open the automatically shortened links and see whose buzz was getting bashed.

I was happy 2 download a new mp3
Finding a human meme starting more controversy
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a premium BANGIN BOD altbaguette nip slip and with a tight, perfect rear

With an indie hunk frontman, so hot and so mutler
I knew in a moment it must be Win Butler
To my disappointment, he left Regine at home
But gave me her #, and I sexted her pay-as-u-go phone

"Now AnCo! now, Vampy Weeks! now, ArFi and LDR! Skrillex! Pitchforks! NPR!
On, Crystal Castles! On, Neon Indian! on, on Chaz Bundick and Holy Ghost!
To the top of the buzz mountain! to the top of the charts!
Now buzz away! buzz all dayy! Buzz 4evr!"

Buzzmas is a celebration of buzz 4 all of us alts
So thankful for Baby Buzz Jesus 4 forgiving us 4 our buzz faults
Perhaps we should feel the buzz all around
instead of letting the 2k10-2k11 buzz drought keep bringing us down

We have the indie, the mindie, the dubstep, the bleep bloops
The rape gaze, the ▲, and even the James Blake poop
Indie rappers, N***as in Paris, and even Lana Del Rey
Even the buzz music that u think is super ghey

If u think abt it, every day is Buzzmas in the buzzosphere
Each mp3 a new gift, each sponsored event with free #beer
Although it sometimes feels like a tireless quest for authenticity
One day we will reach the most extreme elite backstage all access sidestage section after show after hours afterparty

I’ve been to hell and back searching for the VIP section
Made small talk with the devil, he told me his Year End List honorable mentions
I stopped by the gates of heaven, confirmed my spot on ‘the list’
I am not afraid 2 die, The VIP section of heaven is a partie that can’t be missed

While some might claim that the city is our church
Tonight, we shall let the Buzzmas tree be our church
Sharing our buzz gifts with loved ones, even the mainstreamers
Accepting our extended families, although they are complete lamestreamers

Mother Indie shall guide us in2 2k12
We shall pray 4 her to save us from the 2k11 buzz hell
But 2nite, we celebrate the most special buzz holiday of them all
"Merry Buzzmas to all, and to all a Buzzy Buzz Buzz!"