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Alice Glass strips down to bra in new Crystal Castles video. Is she hotter than Sexi Lexi? (19 comments) |
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Pam from "The Office" throws down sick DJ set (30 comments) |
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NSFW: Tyler the Creator exposes his black penis in new Odd Future video (12 comments) |
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Shannon Gaga does an AMAZING cover of Lana Del Rey's "Born To Die" (4 comments) |
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Lana Del Rey spotted canoodling with her Hotty McHotHot boyfriend Barrie James O'Neill (10 comments) |
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Chris Brown makes scary faces on the beach bc he hits women (16 comments) |
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Did Sleigh Bells 'effing tank' LDR-style on SNL? (23 comments) |
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Justin Timberlake straight 'makes a bitch outta' Bon Iver on SNL (7 comments) |
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NSFW: Selena Gomez has a vagina lip slip! Oh no, BB! (3 comments) |
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Group of relevant ethnic alt celebs search for ethnic alt bread (5 comments) |
I have a blog called HIPSTER RUNOFF. Every day, I wake up, open my laptop, and type words that are stored in the internet as ‘content.’ My goal is to ‘get as many hits’ as possible because I metaphorically ‘have mouths to feed.’ I realize that at this point, it doesn’t matter if my content is ‘premium’, pseudo-brilliantly written web_prose or just ‘link-bait-wave,’ I was fortunate enough to not have gotten lost in the ‘long tail’ of indie music + Gen-Y-opinion-driven coverage blogs. Every day, I prey upon different buzz topics, exploiting my voice, but more importantly, my position as a ‘recognized outlet 4 buzz’ to try to trick people into thinking I am ‘relevant’, which basically just means that I am trying to make ppl talk abt my blog and get them addicted to my web brand even if they hate it because even when they are like ‘OMG THAT’S TOTAL BULLSHIT’ it is just some sort of post-grassroots-h8-wave-warketing.
My goal as a website is to ‘be the ass hole who pointlessly interjects himself into the conversation’ without being as overtly annoying as ‘the ass hole who always pointless interjects himself into the conversation.’
Lana Del Rey is the perfect buzz topic, and I’ll never forget the times we shared in late 2k11 and early 2k12. I honestly do wish the best for her career, not because I have a rooting interest in her/care about her as a person, but because Lana Del Rey is an important search term to refer viewers to my website.
Sometimes I wonder, when it’s all said and done, and the internet is deleted, will I only be remembered as “The Guy Who Invented Chillwave?”
It feels like Lana Del Rey was sent down from the buzz heavens, God’s way to save us from the well-documented buzz drought that has plagued us since early 2k10. Some blamed the buzzbands for not putting out solid mp3s. They said that there were not enough buzzworthy bands 2 authentically buzz and that buzz was being misappropriated unfairly due to blogosphere favors and the fear of hurting the feelings of legacy, past-their-prime buzzbands. In the post-LDR bubble burst world, we are finally able to see what caused the buzz drought: it was the bloggers, the writers, the content farmers, and the implosion of the sub-prime buzzing crisis that has been the expanding crack in the foundation the indie blogging and content farming infrastructure since as far back as 2k8.5.
LanaBB officially redefined the core competencies of the ‘indie blogosphere.’
We used to be tastemakers. We used to be regulators. We used to be trustworthy. We used to be a valuable resource. Lana made it okay for us to post magazine covers. Lana Del Rey was pretty enough to post even the most irrelevant performance video. For the first time, Lana Del Rey took indie blogs over ‘the edge’, and made it okay for us to speculate about her physical appearance, which is way more interesting than trying to figure out if her artistic ambitions are ‘relevant’/pure. Basically, Lana Del Rey finally marginalized ‘the decently-enough-thought-out opinion piece’ into a worthless meme that any one could poop out.
#LDRSNL marked another maturation/retardation milestone for ‘online indie journalism’, bringing the indie blogosphere from a humble place that posted MP3s with generally positive/neutral commentary, and flung us right into the generalist meme-blurb content farm spotlight. We scrambled like enslaved content farmers, minutes after the performance to preserve our Google rank with a perfectly placed headline. We were ready to chew up and spit out memes, finally ‘graduating to the big leagues’ with a ‘big boy meme’, not just some other over-written ‘spotlight’ on a group of poor dudes from Brooklyn who were ToTtaLLY wErTh ChEcKiNg OuT and/or the typical ‘no one cares--what happened to REAL music?’ reaction pieces to said buzzband.
Buzz experts truly believe that Lana Del Rey is the last artist/band that the network of indie blog buzz will have a role in ‘hyping.’ The happy days of the AnCo 2k9 buzzosphere are long gone, and we all cannot just get along. After Lana Del Rey, we live in a hypeless world where we trust no outlet, now that we have finally seen the hype apocalypse because the LDR snake-eating-its-own-tail cycle has finally ended, and the sum is “-0” [via undefined]. Readers who once thought that they were reading organic, farm-grown content will feel misled, angry, and betrayed by the warped context of blogs.
I’ll admit that as a blog, I am obsessed, and probably over-estimate the impact of ‘modern web media’ on ‘reality.’ But it seems like LDR was a blogosphere ‘passion project’ that we incubated, and got to ‘tear down’ for the sake of generating, controlling, and commenting our own content. We enjoyed it, sorta like while u r stroking ur peen, but then u finally ‘effing blow’, and you are not sure whether you should admit ‘how good’ it felt. After #LDRSNL, no one is sure who has control of the #LDR meme any more. It was her viking meme funeral, even if she goes on to achieve mad sales in Europe/decent sales in America.
“Where r u Lizzy Grant? R u okay? I swear, I care about you. Blogs r mean. :-(”
-some blog with female readers
LDR should probably make other alt famous humans and upcoming buzz humans incredibly nervous, because the silent agreement of ‘pandering’ to indie celebs is over. The concept Indie celebrity may or may not exist, but a successful blog now must realize that the way indie blogs ‘baby’ the ‘alt famous’ in order to preserve relationships can no longer exist. Mudslinging will be beneficial to both parties. Maybe after LDR, it will no longer be a good idea to be ‘an anonymous’ project because then dumb blogs will just use Google to construct an unfair narrative for you.
I think the most interesting/most-covered story to come out of the #LDRSNL tank job was the ‘widely read and covered’ story about the guy who invented Gawker and revolutionized modern content farming, Nick Denton, publishing a private email from famous NBC newsanchor Brian Williams for the sake of ‘winning hits’ and introducing the Gawker web-brand to non-readers. In the email, NBC Nightly news anchor Brian Wiliams basically just says LDR is a disgrace, but I guess it is ‘interesting’ because he works for NBC, or something. His commentary on ‘her’ as a ‘person’ is as arbitrary & worthless as yours or mine, but the keyword synergy behind the story is ‘so money’ and it ‘doesn’t even know it’, except Gawker’s genius content farm editor has a sixth sense for virality that most crappy bloggers will never have. A.J. Daulerio will always be remembered as one of the Founding Fathers of Modern Content Farming.
As I struggle to deal with my own periodic content farm existential crises, I wish I could have just invented Gawker. We could’ve had it all. Rolling in the deep pool of unique visitors.
In no way is the ‘conversion of blogs to content farms’ and ‘the secret corporate nature of indie blogs’ a fresh, relevant, or innovative ‘take’. I am just trying to share my view from inside the meme prison with you. Lana Del Rey and I are on this content farm together sort of like we are the last and only two humans left on Earth. We hate eachother, but at the same time we need eachother to stay alive. There will never be any sort of cathartic epiphany where we admit wrong-doing, nor will there ever be a genuine reconciliation. We will never have what feels like a ‘real’ relationship with Lana Del Rey.
Where does ‘the modern media’s relationship’ with Lana Del Rey go from here?
Unfortunately for indie bloggers, it is back to posting dumb MP3s and serving as a well-crafted PR blast for bands that every1 already knows about. As ‘writers’/people who publish text to webpages on the internet, can we be so sure that another meme comet like Lana Del Rey will come again in our lifetime? Will we sit on our porch, every day looking up at the sky, wondering if another Lana will come by... Or this this our final chance to ‘commit suicide’ with other members of our stupid cult in an effort to be transported into the buzz spaceship that is trailing in the tail of the comet [via Heaven’s Gate/Marshall Applewhite vibes]?
Why do we keep going?
Why do we keep farming in the name of blogging in the name of writing?
In the name of authentic music journalism? What more in the name of authentic music journalism.
-Bono [via U2]
Online publishing is ‘relatively new’ [via long-term historical contexts]. I guess this is just a natural part of the maturation process of the beloved idea of the indie blogosphere. But who even wants to be a part of indie blog farming any more?
Even the most ‘talented’ people who ‘write things on the internet that are actually worth reading’ and/or are reduced to farm fodder. Every character of a writer, blog, or content farm’s 140 character or less tweet is cringe-worthy, 100% worth resenting. Part of me feels ‘confused’ as to why any one would even want to ‘be a music writer’, or write about bands/humans/music on the internet. It takes a warped personality to believe that any one ‘gives a damn about what you and ur crappy website’ thinks, unless you are being paid handsomely for it, then you can sort of approach it like a desk job. It will dehumanize you every day, but at least it pays the bills.
Who is ‘actually passionate’ about ‘how they feel about Lana Del Rey’? It doesn’t matter if you are writing an ‘IN DEFENSE OF LANA DEL REY’ or if you are writing a hilarious and/or insightful web culture + societal takedown piece that accurately deconstructs #LDRgate with an original angle. We all have the same motive. Can 1 voice really shift an entire conversation? What the eff do u think ur gonna tastemake? Do u think u can really make another LDR? Those days are gone, child. We’ve peaked. It’s over. The machine’s broken. Somebody call the Geek Squad.
I am on the edge. I no longer believe in blog evolution. I no longer believe in buzz creationism. I am a believer in buzz intelligent design.
It is interesting to think that there is a generation who even finds these memes to be ‘interesting’ enough to think that they want to be a part of the indiesphere discussion. Do they think the can ‘save’ it by showing us cool, new bands? Do they think they can save us from the content farming doom? Do they think that they can reverse the impact of social media on the speedy, link-baiting nature of all websites, designed to ‘get a good jump on’ SEO?
The indie blogosphere is over the hill. Our opinions are old, tired, uninspired. The next generation will follow our lead, continuing to turn things into poo, inspired by the biased outlook on indie celebrity and relevance that we portrayed to them for years. There is nothing worth saving. Everything is COMPLETELY EFFED, but it will keep going, and we will keep writing that it is COMPLETELY EFFED, but no1 really cares and there isn’t really anything to fix so I guess maybe we should act like it is a beautiful indie film and find ‘happiness and peace’ with that truth.
It is all just sort of just ‘funnie’ but also ‘sad.’ Are the dreams in which Lana Del Rey is dying on the stage of SNL = the best we’ve ever had?
Lana Del Rey saw it coming. We all saw it coming.
In the post-LDR blogging era, I feel free to openly admit that I don’t care about honoring ‘bands that sound good’. The opinions that I have on bands are not actually my own, and my goal is not to preserve a relationship with readers or bands/artists based on editorial pandering. All I can do is ‘go down in flames’ with my sweet, Princess LanaBB. My demented online personality that motivates me to type these words in order to accumulate hits, empathy, praise, and controversy does not have much time left.
Wag The Blog.
Cultural criticism on the internet is dying because we finally realized that the voices behind blogs, twitter feeds, and authentic writing outlets are as fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous as the fat, bored, uninspired, and jealous voices that we thought we had escaped from.
I am not a writer. I am not a blogger. I am a content farmer. These words mean more to the Google robot than they do 2 u. There is nothing exciting about writing, tweeting, or sharing opinions. I do not want to inspire any one to follow me into this dark prison, surrounded by a pile of memes, while I must sort thru them and spin them as ‘meaningful’, ‘interesting’, or whatever else will generate a pageview.
Lana & Me had it all. I’ll look back and think about what I could have done differently. But I'll also think about how beautiful our effed up relationship was and how it some how 'just worked.'
To music and indie purists, Lizzy Grant is the AntiChrist.
To indie modernists and loveslaves of internet content, Lana Del Rey is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Having said that, Lana Del Rey hit a GRAND SLAM on SNL. U did it, BB! I am proud of u. U took 1 for ‘the team’, and now we’re all gonna go to Pizza Hut after the game to celebrate. C U THERE. Let’s share a pitcher of Pepsi. We deserve it. We worked hard.
Is Lana Del Rey indie’s ‘Rebecca Black moment’?
Is LDR ‘not even a big deal’?
Do all buzz humans die?
What’s ur fave content farm?
What’s the future of indie blogosphere?
Do u generally feel ‘who cares’ abt it all?
Do u mainly load webpages ‘out of habit’ not rlly because the site emotionally resonates with u?
If u thought LDR album cycle #1 was fun, are you PUMPED for album cycle #2 in 2-3 years?
Does LDR 'have it all' or 'have nothing'?
Do u <3 LDR for emancipating us from being farm slaves?
Can the farm become self-ware [via skynet]?
Where is Lana Del Rey right now?
"The Great Lana Del Rey Meme Harvest" by Carles
Set to the tune of Garth Brooks' "The Dance"
Looking back on the memory of
The Lana Del Rey meme harvest we shared on all the content farms
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye?
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
U could have missed the pain, cyberbullying and slutshaming
But I'd of had to miss the great Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Memeing you, I memed everything
For a moment, wasn't I the king?
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know... I might have changed it all...
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go [via SNL]
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Yes my bloglife is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the Great Lana Del Rey meme harvest
Luv u Lana. Mean it. <3 :-*
Lana Del Rey is a hot female indie singer. She is 'mad controversial.'
Comments
we're not counting first's on
we're not counting first's on LDR strings, right?
Jesus. How bleak. I can't
Jesus. How bleak. I can't trust GorillavsBear anymore, or Pitchfork or anybody. It's just me, on my own, on the internet. I feel incredibly fucked.
It's always been you, just
It's always been you, just you, on your own, on the internet. What it comes down to, meme or no meme, is, do I like how it sounds? Does it make me feel good to listen to it?
LDR has always been an awkward crush object. Born to a bazillionaire, propped up by a management company. But fuck it, I like the songs, I like the videos, and I like the feelings they evoke. Even if I'm not supposed to "trust it." I trust my ears and my emotions.
(No subject)
Carles is the Cicero of the
Carles is the Cicero of the 21st century.
God bless you with eternal buzz.
astute comparison, matthew
astute comparison, matthew
man forget about Lana. If you
man forget about Lana. If you love somethin ya got set it free. Fuckin LDR posts r getting old, not just here but all over the web. This post was totally great/authentic btw, glad to see that amidst all the shit there's still a bit of carles in there somewhere. Keep it up, BB!
Am I the only person who
Am I the only person who still thinks she's super, super average looking?
You have meddled with the
You have meddled with the primary forces of nature, Carles, and I won’t have it! Is that clear?
You think you merely stopped a ‘human meme.’ That is not the case. Dubstep has taken billions of dollars out of this country, and now they must put it back! It is ebb and flow, tide and gravity. It is ecological balance.
You are a ‘content farmer’ who thinks in terms of search queries and buzz. There are no nations. There are no ‘authentic bloggers.’ There are no buzzbands. There are no ‘chillwaves.’ There is no ‘blogosphere.’ There is no P4K. There is only one holistic system of systems. One vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multi-varied, multi-national dominion of dollars. Petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars, reichmarks, rands, rubles, pounds and shekels.
It is the international system of currency which determines the totality of life on this Internet. That is the natural order of things today. That is the atomic, and sub-atomic and galactic structure of things today.
And YOU have meddled with the primal forces of nature. And you will atone.
Am I getting through to you, Carles?
You get up on your little MacBook Pro screen and howl about LanaBB and Search Engine Optimization. There is no buzz. There are no meme. There is only P4k and Stereogum and MTVHive, and GorillaVsBear, elbo.ws, Brooklyn Vegan and The Low Times Podcast. Those are the nations of the world today.
What do you think the editors of SPIN talk about in their Councils of State? Karl Marx? They get out their linear programming charts, statistical decision theories, mini-max solutions, and compute the price-cost probabilities of their transactions and investments, just like we do.
We no longer live in a world of nations and ideologies, Carles. The world is a college of corporations, inexorably determined by the immutable bylaws of business. The world is a business, Carles. It has been since Alan Freed crawled out of the slime.
And our children will live, Carles, to see that … perfect … world in which there is no 10.0, nor snark, buzz or top 10 lists. One vast and ecumenical holding company for whom all men will work to serve a common profit. In which all men will hold a share of stock.
All necessities provided. All anxieties tranquilized. All boredom amused. And I have chosen you, Carles, to preach this evangel.
Because you look good, bb!!
Dear Jakey bb, You may not
Dear Jakey bb,
You may not know me, but I know you
Like you. Decent bro 4 sure
You need to own up to the fact that you have vested interest in LDR. purely because you find her bang-worthy.
Heard her in- studio shamefest performance on the satellites,
you and your crew should be panned all day/night for backing such a terrible live recording.....
Thanks for playing good tunes otherwise.
LSQ is still the best dj tho.
I am 33 year-old man. I am
I am 33 year-old man. I am not interested in dating an emerging pop star in her 20's because that would be a gigantic pain in the ass. Please pay closer to attention to my career, so you can better understand my subtle genius.
Your career is
Your career is impressive...and I am aware
I just find it confusing///appauling that you and your staff
pretend LDR is a legit artist (rather than the product/creation of.....'da man') or that her in studio performance on your station was anything less then shit on ears.
I am 33 year-old man. I am
I am 33 year-old man. I am not interested in dating an emerging pop star in her 20's because that would be a gigantic pain in the ass. Please pay closer to attention to my career, so you can better understand my subtle genius.
Brilliantly bleak. Carles is
Brilliantly bleak. Carles is at his best when truth slips through the grit of the irony.
love the new banner bb, btw
awesome cmmnt dude. feel so
awesome cmmnt dude.
feel so confuzzled. feel as though i really 'get' this post, but it's wrapped in so much 'dark' irony. been so used to being superalt 'high brow' satire that i don't feel worthy of actually 'getting' this. feel cmpltly 'soulless' or smthng (via 808's & Heartbreak).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=corY-FZAZog
#TYBG
awesome cmmnt dude. feel so
awesome cmmnt dude.
feel so confuzzled. feel as though i really 'get' this post, but it's wrapped in so much 'dark' irony. been so used to being superalt 'high brow' satire that i don't feel worthy of actually 'getting' this. feel cmpltly 'soulless' or smthng (via 808's & Heartbreak).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=corY-FZAZog
#TYBG
awesome cmmnt dude. feel so
awesome cmmnt dude.
feel so confuzzled. feel as though i really 'get' this post, but it's wrapped in so much 'dark' irony. been so used to being superalt 'high brow' satire that i don't feel worthy of actually 'getting' this. feel cmpltly 'soulless' or smthng (via 808's & Heartbreak).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=corY-FZAZog
#TYBG
awesome cmmnt dude. feel so
awesome cmmnt dude.
feel so confuzzled. feel as though i really 'get' this post, but it's wrapped in so much 'dark' irony. been so used to being superalt 'high brow' satire that i don't feel worthy of actually 'getting' this. feel cmpltly 'soulless' or smthng (via 808's & Heartbreak).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=corY-FZAZog
#TYBG
awesome cmmnt dude. feel so
awesome cmmnt dude.
feel so confuzzled. feel as though i really 'get' this post, but it's wrapped in so much 'dark' irony. been so used to typing in superalt 'high brow' satire that i don't feel worthy of actually 'getting' this. feel cmpltly 'soulless' or smthng (via 808's & Heartbreak).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=corY-FZAZog
#TYBG
awesome cmmnt dude. feel so
awesome cmmnt dude.
feel so confuzzled. feel as though i really 'get' this post, but it's wrapped in so much 'dark' irony. been so used to typing in superalt 'high brow' satire that i don't feel worthy of actually 'getting' this. feel cmpltly 'soulless' or smthng (via 808's & Heartbreak).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=corY-FZAZog
#TYBG
awesome cmmnt dude. feel so
awesome cmmnt dude.
feel so confuzzled. feel as though i really 'get' this post, but it's wrapped in so much 'dark' irony. been so used to typing in superalt 'high brow' satire that i don't feel worthy of actually 'getting' this. feel cmpltly 'soulless' or smthng (via 808's & Heartbreak).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=corY-FZAZog
#TYBG
this is dark carles. i hope u
this is dark carles. i hope u find what u r looking for
The Lana del Rey subprime
The Lana del Rey subprime bubble is bursting and tanking the mp3 economy
Excellent post carles.
Excellent post carles. Feeling dark now.
The downward spiral that this
The downward spiral that this has sent you into makes me think that maybe you are actually she. Like LDR is actually a genius, and created the "demented persona" and this blog in advance to create her own buzz in the future, and now it's all going into epic, multi-personality meltdown, Gollum style.
Carles, are you Lana? Lana, are you Carles? Do you both wants the precious?
:<
millennial hiss -- that was
millennial hiss -- that was sort of good until you revealed your age with the lotr analogy
Too long didn't read.
Too long didn't read.
I LOVE YOU CARLES
I LOVE YOU CARLES
Just think if you woulda quit
Just think if you woulda quit bb
You would've missed out on premium exposure of utter truths
You were the first.
You're the only
Modern age is gettin me down
So many shitty artists benefiting
So many shitty humans too
Miss u
Just want you back
Before lip gate
Before bikini bods.
Back when u were lil and cute
Blog loving lovely
Now....
I dunno
Go play ur video games
One of the greatest HRO posts
One of the greatest HRO posts of all time. Can't wait to blog about this.
I'm a writer and I am a
I'm a writer and I am a contextualist, and I am going to tell you why it relates to Lana Del Rey.. I don't think what I do is that wonderful. There is something that I have learned since I was a kid about music though, and after all these years writing it too. The boundaries and taxonomies that exist in music are invented by people for every kind of style or performance of music - and it is a waste of your time, and it is illogical and irrational. Why? Because a long time ago they were invented to help you navigate a record store, and that was it, not decide who is "worthy" of your attention. I know you probably have ADHD, and you can't stand reading more than a tweet length worth of words, but just in case you want to understand how I came to this fucked up perspective, it was really very easy... First there were kids telling me in grade school not to listen to rap because I wasn't black. Then there were other kids that told me I couldn't listen to Madonna or Bruce Springsteen because they were too popular and too trendy to support. There were alternative music kids that told me I can't really like New Wave anymore because it wasn't hardcore enough, and fagot sounding. Even though I wasn't gay, they really thought if you listened to Erasure enough, you would automatically turn gay. See what I mean by illogical yet? They honestly thought that would happen to somebody. Then there were kids in the 90s that told me the 80s was stupid and worthless and that only an idiot would listen to 80s music. There were other kids in the late 90s that said Rave music was stupid, and that trance was the ONLY thing they would listen to anymore.
I think I have spent a good portion of time defending every kind of sound that I enjoyed growing up, and now that I am old enough, and smart enough to understand the problem that I think my generation had or just "didn't get", and it was THIS (whatever you want to call it) pigeonholed categories, fuck if I know what to call this, (cliques?) really doesn't matter - music/art (since it is entirely contextual and essentially subjective) I have learned not to give a fuck anymore when some pinhead decides to tell me YET AGAIN not to listen to some particular music, artists, person.
I'm going to listen to just about whatever the fuck I want to listen to.
It is delusional for someone to sit there and think that they can lord over the musical audience of listeners worldwide and proclaim who is worthy of notoriety or attention musically.
It is delusional to think that you can critique a particular sound to the point where it is somehow silenced. It is delusional to think that YOUR way of hearing music should be how EVERYONE hears music.
It is delusional that someone has the nerve to think that they are better than everyone's own tastes in music enough to warrant writing a blog about how much they hate someone's art/music/whatever.
In the 80s I remember hating Disco. Now I have to admit you might catch me enjoying it from time to time these days hanging out with friends... There is a slight tinge of embarrassment, and if the person I was in the 80s met the person I am today 30 years later, I know what they would call me. A fag. A trendy faggot who SHOULD NOT be listening to DISCO. Or a fag for listening to anything other than a very fixed set of acceptable bands, and pre-approved cool musicians. I probably wouldn't think I was very cool. I wouldn't want to know me, and I would think whatever I had to say didn't really matter. I would eliminate the possibility of any sharing or learning that would pollute my nice little ideological fantasy I had about appropriate and select music and musicians. that's how ideological thinking is dangerous. It is a kind of pathological lie that we tell ourselves to make ourselves seem more important than we really are. Whether it is to make life more romantic, or to make music "better" than other music, or to decide who lives and who dies, or who isn't cool anymore, or who is a fag... etc etc etc..
Today, I see the same thing going on.. It is the same thing, but this time I read people saying that Lana Del Rey has a rich father with lots of money, and that somehow money equates with being "not worthy" of anyone's attention or time. Last time I checked every band on SNL or television is "manufactured" and invested in by some music executives and power brokers, whatever you want to call them. I just call them The Suits. There have always been the SUITS and they aren't going anywhere. You can pretend that by being ideological enough that somehow we can escape them someday, and all live on a musical island of only "good" and "legitimate" music selections to enjoy, but in all honesty that is never going to happen. Because you don't need to escape anyone. The only thing your ideological thinking is going to get you when it comes to music, is a much more limited perspective of what is all around everybody. It is like sleeping your life away on a fantasy or make-believe. It is one thing if you hate a band or a kind of music, it is quite another where you feel so self-absorbed into your ideaological concept about "what is appropriate" musicians and their music, that you feel the urge and are compelled to go on some kind of psychotic crusade against any musician/performer/artist because of your fallaciousness. It isn't up to YOU what people want to listen to. They should listen to whatever they want, and who the fuck are you to tell anyone what is appropriate, and what isn't appropriate to enjoy musically? Fuck that.
I'm out.
u mad bro?
u mad bro?
you wasted your time. Carles
you wasted your time. Carles wrote a better thing than you and it's at the top of the page.
so?
so?
so?
so?
yr not a writer, yr a
yr not a writer, yr a commentor
is this meta? or an
is this meta? or an "authentic" response?
also, great post carlesbb!
Cool story bro
Cool story bro
crls. i am praying 4 u
crls. i am praying 4 u
I don't think most people
I don't think most people realize the amount of money that goes into music publicity... In order to even GET in pitchfork, you have to have a publicist constantly in your corner... unless of course you become a youtube sensation and get so much of a crowd that people flock to you, and the writer hears about you. Most of the publicists charge by the month, a retainer fee that is probably equal to what a musician makes in a month. Therefore, it is virtually impossible for true indie musicians to compete with what's out there in Pitchfork.
I have music journalist friends who are ASSIGNED who they write about, couldn't even write about who they chose if they wanted, and - oh, guess what? Those assignments are often based on PR connections, or, labels who advertise in the magazines/ sites.
The flooded market is to blame, as, just like in high school, the kids with money are the kids the with the advantage.
Sad but true, and why musicians who are talented, but maybe less fortunate, need pioneers to keep looking out for them, keep going to shows that maybe AREN'T the hot picks for the week, and to keep having an open mind...
But there's not room for that, cause everyone is taking up bitspace with Lana Del Ray, cause... everyone prefers a controversy over talent. Britney Spears syndrome wins again, meanwhile, hundreds of awesome bands you'll never hear of play in small rooms to 20 people, and eventually give up the hope of every getting to the next level, cause they can't afford the PR.
Those bands playing to 20
Those bands playing to 20 people are the unborn child sperm of music. It's not murder when they don't make it because they aren't even born yet until they get enough $ for PR and some blogger/label latches on to them. Just the way things are. No reason to cry of spilt 'milk.'
Those bands playing to 20
Those bands playing to 20 people are the unborn child sperm of music. It's not murder when they don't make it because they aren't even born yet until they get enough $ for PR and some blogger/label latches on to them. Just the way things are. No reason to cry of spilt 'milk.'
real journalists / reviewers
real journalists / reviewers dont get to choose what they write about either, just sayin
TL;DR Carles haz a crush on
TL;DR Carles haz a crush on LDR!
No more LDR pliz.
Carles might as well rename
Carles might as well rename the site "LANADELRUNOFF."
#pray4carles
#pray4carles
why brake character and get
why brake character and get all honest on our asses? you just revealed how hard all this is for you and how you actually care. big mistake carlitos. you're dead now
crushed it with The Dance bb
crushed it with The Dance bb
#pray4carles Dark post, bro.
#pray4carles
Dark post, bro. I was already down because my best friend is hooked on meth, but this pushed me into they abyss.
#pray4wrapegheys
Puts me in mind of all those
Puts me in mind of all those "We'll never dance again after 9/11, how could we?" statements of 9/12.
LDR + KANYE = Summer Hit 2012
the LDR leaked porn vid will
the LDR leaked porn vid will come out soon and the buzz will explode.
SOPA > TEBOW > #LDR_BB
SOPA > TEBOW > #LDR_BB
woah! this hole website is
woah! this hole website is dedicated to this one person and most of you guys think she sucks. Why did she get famous in the first place? It's because you make a huge fuzz about her. How did I even get on this website? i was looking for a new vibrator :/
ttyn
i luv u Lana bb born 2 Lana
i luv u Lana bb born 2 Lana supporter
Yo Carles, Nice russian
Yo Carles,
Nice russian novel. Tl;dr x1000. In actuality, I read it and it made a few valid points, but overall this whole LDR thing has been blown way out of proportion by both you and some of the commenters on this blog/other blogs like HRO. Yeah, she kinda sucks. Her recordings are not offensively sucky though. I've heard a lot worse in the genre of one-shit-wonder iNdiE PoP. I don't care if she's sooo fake with her big fake lips, invented persona, etc... at the end of the day, all that matters is the music. The whole celebrity aspect of LDR is tabloid bullshit at best. Now, to keep my post from resembling urs, I end it now. Ciao, faggot!
Yo Carles, Nice russian
Yo Carles,
Nice russian novel. Tl;dr x1000. In actuality, I read it and it made a few valid points, but overall this whole LDR thing has been blown way out of proportion by both you and some of the commenters on this blog/other blogs like HRO. Yeah, she kinda sucks. Her recordings are not offensively sucky though. I've heard a lot worse in the genre of one-shit-wonder iNdiE PoP. I don't care if she's sooo fake with her big fake lips, invented persona, etc... at the end of the day, all that matters is the music. The whole celebrity aspect of LDR is tabloid bullshit at best. Now, to keep my post from resembling urs, I end it now. Ciao, faggot!
Yo Carles, Nice russian
Yo Carles,
Nice russian novel. Tl;dr x1000. In actuality, I read it and it made a few valid points, but overall this whole LDR thing has been blown way out of proportion by both you and some of the commenters on this blog/other blogs like HRO. Yeah, she kinda sucks. Her recordings are not offensively sucky though. I've heard a lot worse in the genre of one-shit-wonder iNdiE PoP. I don't care if she's sooo fake with her big fake lips, invented persona, etc... at the end of the day, all that matters is the music. The whole celebrity aspect of LDR is tabloid bullshit at best. Now, to keep my post from resembling urs, I end it now. Ciao, fag!
This site just tanked via
This site just tanked via long shitty posts
This is one of the greatest
This is one of the greatest things that I've read in a long time. The fact that commenters feel that they should have any say in the direction of the individual voice of some individual writer or random ass human that decided to publicly post shit on a makeshift forum does demonstrate a fascinating dynamic, though. Nothing is real folks... or, maybe, everything is.
The worlds have overlapped and, in the center of that intersection, a vacuous wormhole has been created. It's a whirlpool that tastes like watered-down Kool-Aid and drowning woodland creates are swirling around unconcsious in it. The Lana Del Report is like falling through awning after awning and breaking your ribs against the jagged Earth, only to be immediately dragged across it behind a team of retarded zebras. In other words, I support this change. Just because you can't kill a dead horse anymore by continuing to beat it, doesn't mean that shit isn't still gonna happen. You can still fracture the eye sockets and spill those guts out like a pinata, muddying up the dusty ground below it. Afterall, it's more about the beating then the killing, anyway. Now that the "purpose" has been eliminated, maybe we can all stop pretending like anyone was actually "important". Breaking glass sounds a lot better to me than the operatic voice that shatters it.
Kick that horse. Try and knock some teeth out. Smear some blood across the (information) superhighway. Piss on and sizzle out a motherboard. Pick a scab and let it ooze down the monitor a bit.
It's neither here nor there, but, I'm eating a surprisingly tasty granola bars. They're called Sweet & Salty Nuts
Life's a bitch and then you
Life's a bitch and then you die
That's why we get high
Cause you never know
When you're gonna go..
You're losing me Carlos
You're losing me Carlos
pic at the top looks like Pam
pic at the top looks like Pam from True Blood
luv u lana....LUV U
luv u lana....LUV U BULLETT....luv u 2...u 2 rule..rool...RULE...
hai
hai
hai
http://www.bullettmedia.com/article/lana-del-rey-video-games/
Most people don't realize
Most people don't realize that all the bands they hear of, with a few exceptions, they hear of because of those bands have budget for PR... and sometimes good PR can cost as much as a musician might make a month, if not more!
It's sad but true, and the reason that many talented bands will continue to go unheard... because the LDR controversy, is just as exciting to the American audience as the Britney Spears head-shaving...
Our attention span is too short and in need of too much sensation to reward those with talent... we'd rather have the drama. Meanwhile, hundred of awesome more talented bands will go on playing to 20 people, and you'll never know about them, cause the blog space is being taken up by bands with bigger budgets, or bigger boobs.
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carles, quit being so
carles, quit being so dramatic~
oh my jesus's penis, indie is becoming mainstream and so too its tastemakers??!!1!! no effing way im gunna cum all over myself
lets face it, it was too much to ask for p4/gvb to produce relevant taste ad nauseum while sustaining growth. bc those two things are incompatable. you cant be popular and bleeding edge at the same time. well maybe, but its hard. indie tastemakers are getting old and losing their acute sense of pop culture 'cool'.
basically indie is dead and were all just looking for new "post hipster" type brand in order to sustain hyper relevancy
"basically indie is dead and
"basically indie is dead and were all just looking for new "post hipster" type brand in order to sustain hyper relevancy"
So achingly true. But didn't we all know it would come to this? Like a tiny island paradise rich in phosphate, the indie world has sold itself away bit by bit, becoming in the process a barren and uninhabitable facsimile of what it once was.
I guess I'm out then
I guess I'm out then
I guess I'm out then
I guess I'm out then
Yirrsh 328: Best comment or
Yirrsh 328: Best comment or content I've ever read anywhere in my life. Now everyone can skip James Joyce's "Ulysses" which is exactly the sort of crap you just spilled. It could have done with a little less direction (too many references to Tiffany's and whoever) but that's forgivable. Oh, I apologize for revealing one little clue that I have a serious education from seriously prestigious institutions which suck and are evil, but which I still get to name-drop to make me seem smart, or to make it seem like my opinion matters or I will be perpetually better informed than you plebes. See, I can do this because I got the right stamp on my hand - Oh but I am over 40. Almost 43. Can you see now how nothing I said is relevant? The only criterion for awesomeness, either for an artist, writer/blogger or person who wants to be in on whatever it is that nobody is in on is youth, and figuring out when to put a foot in the stream. You expect that to last? You're sad 'cause it's fading? You are just dying one of many little deaths (yes, that's a learned reference!) which are waiting for you if you keep worshipping your youth. There's too much out there to like to worry about liking (or not liking) the right thing "Youth [IS] wasted on the wrong people". Screw you youngsters. I can maintain my superior attitude for the rest of my life. I can continue to believe (as I actually do) that I am more qualified than most of you will ever be to make a judgement on anything - and I have fancy diplomas written in latin to prove it. You have skinny jeans (which really confused me for a while - I thought that girls butts had just gotten ugly or misshapen - I didn't realize they were just being pinched at the bottom, flattened and jammed up out the back of their pants - ladies, I implore you, stop wasting your butts like this) or whatever... you really suck and reality is gonna smack your beautiful little faces... then you can worship money... and die another death. Grow up. You matter, but not in the way you think you do. Don't believe me? Just wait.
- Ciao!
Yirrsh 328: Best comment or
Yirrsh 328: Best comment or content I've ever read anywhere in my life. Now everyone can skip James Joyce's "Ulysses" which is exactly the sort of crap you just spilled. It could have done with a little less direction (too many references to Tiffany's and whoever) but that's forgivable. Oh, I apologize for revealing one little clue that I have a serious education from seriously prestigious institutions which suck and are evil, but which I still get to name-drop to make me seem smart, or to make it seem like my opinion matters or I will be perpetually better informed than you plebes. See, I can do this because I got the right stamp on my hand - Oh but I am over 40. Almost 43. Can you see now how nothing I said is relevant? The only criterion for awesomeness, either for an artist, writer/blogger or person who wants to be in on whatever it is that nobody is in on is youth, and figuring out when to put a foot in the stream. You expect that to last? You're sad 'cause it's fading? You are just dying one of many little deaths (yes, that's a learned reference!) which are waiting for you if you keep worshipping your youth. There's too much out there to like to worry about liking (or not liking) the right thing "Youth [IS] wasted on the wrong people". Screw you youngsters. I can maintain my superior attitude for the rest of my life. I can continue to believe (as I actually do) that I am more qualified than most of you will ever be to make a judgement on anything - and I have fancy diplomas written in latin to prove it. You have skinny jeans (which really confused me for a while - I thought that girls butts had just gotten ugly or misshapen - I didn't realize they were just being pinched at the bottom, flattened and jammed up out the back of their pants - ladies, I implore you, stop wasting your butts like this) or whatever... you really suck and reality is gonna smack your beautiful little faces... then you can worship money... and die another death. Grow up. You matter, but not in the way you think you do. Don't believe me? Just wait.
- Ciao!
people on uppers don't talk
people on uppers don't talk this much about pointless shit. get 'on' with it already.
Appreciating that the schmoe
Appreciating that the schmoe running this blog admits right up front that he needs hits to feed the mouths he has created but I just can't get past the gazillion words that amount to nothing but self-absorbed loathing and disgust. You, my friend, are like the homesteaders who raced west believing they were entering a better life. You are wasting your time. This blog will not exist as of February 19, 2013. You will have to get a traditional job. Perhaps practicing the phrase 'will that be paper or plastic?' should be on your calendar. What a waste.
Epic post. I think you'll
Epic post. I think you'll like our exclusive interview with Ms. Lana Del Rey, then. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Thanks!
Christine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBa4L8F-urE
Here's the link, you can also click my name. :)
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really have this much time on your hands?
So what happened here
So what happened here exactly?
You once liked something and it turned out to be shit, which made you look a total prick.
Now – because you are a snivelling wretched little cunt – you resort to defaming that punt you took in order to salvage a modicum of faux internet decorum.
You really are the lowest of the low. A snide, cowardly no-mark – and when the internet IS finally deleted, you will be deleted with it. Thank fuck for that.
• If this singer is merely a
• If this singer is merely a commercial creation with one okay song, the writer is even less: a poor writer who has only this commercial creation as his topic (and to add insult to injury, he struggles to find a point regarding even that! The article is poorly written, meandering, and overly long).
• If this singer is a product (and we presume that this is a negative or shockingly new), the writer is helping to promote the brand by writing about her.
This article claims that the main reason people visit this blog is for content regarding this singer. The writer has failed to make his topic, this article, and by extension, this blog interesting. The mediocre singer will be forgotten soon, but this parasitical "writing" will be forgotten much sooner.
Good. Finally a good article
Good. Finally a good article from this slob of a blog. I'm just joking, I love you. You always were an asset.
James is a fake indie douche
James is a fake indie douche bag loser who pretends to know what everyone else likes. He wants to control you with his comments. He wants to rock your world. He's James, and he needs to get Laid.
I finally understood why
I finally understood why Hipsterrunoff is full of shit. I've been wondering for months following this blog trying to zero in on the shit smell. And now, finally, at last i got it. Lana Del Rey is the devil? Everything bad on the face of this planet stems from her? Oh, really? I didn't know that Iggy Pop's name was indeed Iggy Pop or that Lady Gaga is actually what's printed in her passport. Ah, okay. Well since that is the case i rest my case. You're right Lana Del Rey is the motherfucking devil.
#firstworldproblems
'STOP' 'PUTTING' 'THINGS'
'STOP' 'PUTTING' 'THINGS' 'IN' 'QUOTATION' 'MARKS' 'WHEN' 'THEY'RE' 'NOT' 'A' 'QUOTE'!!
Otherwise, she is hot, fake lips or no fake lips, and she would be a decent live performer too if she piped down on the vocal gymnastics once in a while. ACTUALLY I'm gonna put it out there and say her biggest downfall is her looks; in contrast to the beyonces and rhiannas of the mainstream world, being ordinary looking is like a right of passage in indie-ville. Look at karen o, lilly allen, adele, all varying degrees of talent but they go unscathed by bloggers because they're not hot enough to provoke a reaction. Stick a pair of fat lips and a steaming bod on any one of those and the internet would instantly explode with cries of 'ZOMG adelle botox much?? U g l y b i t c h and 'wts wit d man voice??? SLAG'.
I don't really take your point about her performance being boring either, like your insinuating all the other coachella acts will be like cracking out n-sync dance routines and midgets in bikinis left right and centre? They all stand around and sing, end of.
Basically LDR should go into immediate hiding until she is forgotten by the so called 'blogosphere' (so, approx 6 minutes real time). Re-release the exact same album as this time around only under the alias of a festering, boil-covered hag discovered by chance by a music industry insider touring an austrian nunnery whilst on holiday (lana del pray) and sell GAJILLIONS of albums.
seems bleak
seems bleak
Thanks Carles, for reminding
Thanks Carles, for reminding me why I liked visiting this stupid website in the first place.
Thanks Carles, for reminding
Thanks Carles, for reminding me why I liked visiting this stupid website in the first place.
Time to die then
Time to die then
http://twitpic.com/8b5zdc htt
http://twitpic.com/8b5zdc
http://twitpic.com/8b59lo
I'm in Camden town tonight so watch out, pus for brains lying fake bitch
#borntodie luv u carles <3 <3
#borntodie
luv u carles <3 <3
You lost touch a long time
You lost touch a long time ago, bro. You have drifted slowly but steadily away from the "indie ethos" and more into linkbaity pop. You've missed out on so much good stuff! Independent music is alive and well — you just don't seem to know where it is at. FACTmag and DISmag are leading the pack now.
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