My encounter with a random blipster who looked like Tyler the Creator | Hipster Runoff

My encounter with a random blipster who looked like Tyler the Creator

Me: Dude, Tyler is that u? UR rlly creative. I love ur name.
Blipster: Swag
Me: Oh, word.
Blipster: Swag.
Me: I like ur cap, bro. Is it Supreme? That's my fave kind of pizza.
Blipster: I just be swaggin'
Me: Oh, word? I love swag.
Blipster: I seriously want to kill myself right now.
Me: LOL... Oh TyTy... U have it all, bb!
Blipster: I seriously hate myself right now.
Me: Not very swag, bro! Suicide is NOT chill at all.
Blipster: Swag.
Me: Is everything alright at home?
Blipster: I miss my Sweatshirt brother guy.
Me: So r u really Tyler the Creator, or just a random Tyler looking mother fucker?
Blipster: Swag
Me: I get it, bro. Swaggy McSwagSwag. Let's just have some #realtalk, ok?
Blipster: Come stop by my popup shop. We are selling authentic blipster merch.
Me: Can I buy that jacket off ur shoulders?
Blipster: I will sell it to you right now for $50. The cap costs $100 because it is limited edition. There is also a $20 shipping fee, USPS Priority Mail.
Me: Swag!
Blipster: Did u see me on Fallon?
Me: U really changed the game. Hiphop will NEVER be the same.
Blipster: I like 2 get in twouble like a bad widdle boi...
Me: Oh Tyler, when will u evr learn?
Blipster: So r u gonna buy this jacket or what?
Me: I have to go to an ATM.
Blipster: Swag. Can I go with you?
Me: Swag.
Blipster: Swag.
Me: Swag.
Blipster: We're swaggin so hard right now!
Me: What happens in swag, stays in swag!
Blipster: I swagged on some girls' face last night!
Me: I went to Mickey D's and ordered a Big Swag!
Blipster: Haters are just jealous cuz we swaggin!
Me: I Turn My Swag On ALWAYS right before I leave my house...hahaha who am I kidding it was never off!!!
Blipster: Hurry up, let's get to this ATM. I know a Chase branch that is within walking distance.

When we reached Chase Bank, the blipster who looked like Tyler the Creator held me at gunpoint and forced me to withdraw the entirety of my checking account. He then pistol whipped me, leaving my face disfigured. It was at that moment that I realized it wasn't Tyler the Creator, because although Tyler the Creator is a 'bad widdle boi', he would never hurt one of his fans.

I guess I learned my lesson. Just because a blipster LOOKS like Tyler the Creator, it doesn't mean that it is actually him. It is more than likely just another blipster. I should have just told him that he looked swagalicious and walked away. I have to learn from my mistake, and hopefully improve my blipsterdar in 2k12.

Always, always trust your instincts. And when a blipster who looks like Tyler the Creators attempts to trick you to purchase his swag-looking jacket (or any piece of his garment for that matter), always be careful not to get ripped off, mugged, robbed, or even murdered. It seems like my desire to look swag got the best of me, and now, I will be in the hospital for the next 3 months as doctors attempt to reconstruct my Eustachian tubes.

Stay safe. God Bless.

Tyler, The Creator

Alternative Celebrity

Tyler is a teenage producer, rapper, and the leader of an experimental lofi shock-rap crew called Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

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