Where have all the AltBros gone? [Rise of the SWAG BROS and MENSWEAR POST-BROS] | Hipster Runoff

Where have all the AltBros gone? [Rise of the SWAG BROS and MENSWEAR POST-BROS]

Photo by WeirdMagic.biz

Where have all the altbros gone?
Searching 4 u
in a new sea of swag bros

Altbros used to be every where.
Alternative bros
Maybe they've grown into alternative men
Maybe younger, swagger generations have eliminated the altbro.

Go to the mall and purchase ur #SWAG, son.

There's one thing you'll never be able 2 buy:
Authentic Alt
Bros will evolve
but alt will nvr die

Last AltBro standing

Altbros, Altbros, Altbros
I miss them
Remember when they used to put on Am Appy and dance 2 bloghouse?

This bro is not swag at all
He is just trying to be alt [circa 2k8]

Time flies...
Altbros grew into men
wearing men's wear
Trying to look all 'rich'/well-dressed/'modern'

#MensWear Post-Bros
Shopping at effing J. Crew
Thinking they are all ABOVE Am Appy

Dressing like they are in a period piece set in the present
Presented commercial free by Old Spice

U used to be a bro
Don't try to hide it with #menswear
Showing off yr entry-level paycheck's extra income
When u should be saving it 2 buy real estate
instead of caring what ppl think abt u based on how u look still
U'll never grow up even though u 'dress like a grownup'
and hang out at craft breweries

I miss the purity of the altbro.
So young, so naive

Maybe all we'll ever be is contemporary.
But for one last moment, I found the Waldo of AltBros
a metaphorical symbol
sorta like when the Injuns and the honkies accidentally killed all the buffalo

Friggin swag bros
Wearing ur goddamn tanktops

Swagbros just ruining everything
trying to make it look like big thangs are effin popping

Altbros used to wear hoodies that didn't have any swag
just early model Am Appy shit
Fuckin Swag ruined everything

Now all these tweens are dressing all swag like they 'get' culture
Teen Mom ass bullshit

Altbros used to be this weird offshoot of post-emo bros and post-post-hardcore bros
who were searching for an indie sensibiltie
but also wanted to D.A.N.C.E. if the vibes were relevant enough

Maybe the altbros have 'lost their edge'
to the swag post-tween bros
and the post-altbro #menswear post-bros who shop at JCrew
and buy expensive shoes
and look in the mirror and are all like 'I look s0 Mad Men right now'

In this photograph, I see altbros. There is no swag, there are no men.
While the alt might be hella failed, at least they are trying
trying 2 be altbros

[via 'remember hipster scarves?']

I miss the AltBros.
Where have all the altbros gone?

I will find u again, Where's W_AltBro

I will find myself again.