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THE ALT REPORT
BREAKING: Read [FULL TEXT] Lana Del Rey's dramatic suicide note. Is she ending her career?


Late Friday night, Lana Del Rey took to twitter to tweet one of the most tragic, poetic, old Hollywood-style Gangster Nancy Sinatra suicide notes of all time. After her DISASTROUS SNL performance, numerous newspaper blogs PANNING her, and tons of blogbullying slutshaming content farming that she has endured, it seems like this might be it for Lana Del Rey.

In a dramatic tweet Friday night, she tweeted, "Goodnight Cruel World."

We cannot confirm that she has actually quit her career, but as of right now, we are in the dark. This is truly a sad day for a human who just 2.5 weeks ago was the buzz of the town. Now, it seems like this buzz meltdown might end. We cannot confirm on the status of Lizzie Grant. If this is just another internet death rumor, at least we know where it came from: straight from the Llama Del Rey's mouth. Is this suicide threat just a way to get the public re-interested in her?

Lana BB... Stay strong... #itgetsbetter
#pray4lana
#pray4lizzygrant

Is Lana Del Rey 'ending it all'?
Or is this a marketing gimmick/cry for help?

'It ends 2nite... It ends 2nite..."

ELECTRO NIP SLIP OF THE DAY
Photo via The Cobrasnake

nip slip
I go 2 raves
2 see the nips
of gurlz on drugz
Some call me the nip slip bandit
My eyes are like telescopes
infrared vision
searching for that white hot heat of a nip
slipping out from a bra, tube top, or tankie toppie

In that moment that I saw that nip slip
Everything Was Beautiful And Nothing Hurt
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲▲
Everything Was Vibeful And Nothing Hurt▲▲▲▲

Goodnite, sweet vibes.

God Bless.

▲ ▲

Former child star Haley Joel Osment is now grown up, has turned into alt twink

haley joel osment grown up picture
Haley Joel Osment is famous for being a keut lil kid who saw dead people in an M. Knight ShammyLanny film. He also got murdered in 'Pay it Forward' for 'paying it forward', I think. Anyways, he was once ON TOP OF THE WORLD, making mad bak for being cute. Unfortunately, he was unable to find a fountain of youth, and was forced to 'grow up' like the rest of us.

Doesn't he kinda look like a keut alt twink?

I guess he was s00 alt that he saw ghosts or something. Sorta makes sense...

Apparently it is from this movie. Looks hella terrible, but I guess this is the kind of crap that gets 'green lit' if u have one post-ironic celebrity in it.

Can Haley Joel Osment transition into the alt film scene?
Can he revive his career?
Should he build a time machine?
Do u ever miss Jonathan Lipnicki? [via The Human Head Weights 69 lbs {via Jerry Maguire}]

Do u <3 alt twinks?