I am the Lord of the Festivals
An Omniscient Presence
Looking over the well-being of all music festivals
all across the world

I am the spirit of the altbro
free mp3s, free shows, free music festivals
I am free 2 be me
by acquiring media + experiences 4 free

We shall fight
I shall try to jump the fence
And u shall try to stop me
I see the face of the Festival God in the black security guard chasing me.

You're going effing down, altbro
U and ur bro
That's what u get
4 trying to jump the fence

Leg snapped in half
worried about my shin / tibula / fibula
In severe pain
Even though I didn't pay for festival admission, can I still use ur First Aid resources?

U can't break in2 this festival
We are watching u
we are the karma police
arrest this man [via breaking his leg]

Jesus christ I'm in so much pain
Hopping the fence wasn't worth it
Severely underestimated the combined weight of me + my bro
Dear lord jesus that hurt

Not gonna be able to play intramural indoor soccer for a while
Sad I just dropped out of college and was dropped from my parents' medical insurance
Cost of hospitalization without insurance
gonna be way more than the price of a 3 day pass

Feel bad for the bro who tackled me down
Even though he 'did his job'
He is probably gonna be fired
Cuz he 'hurt' me

I am in pain
This isn't funny
What was I thinking
Dear Lord this is 'the opposite of chillwave'

Just wanted to soak up some chill festival vibes
but seems like broken leg = ultimate vibe killer

I am the Lord of the Festivals
I am bros with Mother Indie [link]
Buzz on to others as u would have them buzz on 2 u