NME is some British music magazine/widely regarded as 'the British Pitchfork meets Nylon meets Rolling Stone meets blogspot.' Not sure if they really have 'fans' or 'readership' or if they are a big deal or what, but whatever. They are just an internet site like every1 else trying to get 'mad hits' and make mad advertising bank, so they did this thing where they made a 'list' of 75 'cool ppl' that 'u should know abt' because they are 'buzzworthy' and they put it in a photogallery 2 get mad pageviews, and now every1 on this list can tweet abt it like they 'made it.'

Honestly haven't heard of most of these ppl. Doesn't seem very 'kewl' to me, except people from Britain don't really know what is 'kewl.' They sorta just have a bunch of weirdo bands that they like, then start to like American buzz cycle products in 8-24 months.

Here is the list + analysis:

75 Rivers Cuomo (Weezer) -Cmon yall. 4 serious? Is this 1994? Jesus Christ
74 Lewis Bowman (Chapel Club) Never heard of this person. Sounds like a preacher
73 Caitlin Rose - sounds like a girl who sad behind u in Algebra class who got preggers by senior year
72 James Blake - from what I understand this is a professional tennis player
71 Bradford Cox (Deerhunter) - weak. They must h8 Americans
70 Soulja Boy - Is 'Crank Dat' still relevant?
69 Matt Bellamy (Muse) - Is Muse the new Coldplay? Do ppl 'actually like' Muse?
68 Nathan Williams (Wavves) - Did smoking too much dank hurt his status?
67 Avi Zahner-Isenberg (Avi Buffalo) - Wonder if he changed his name because it sounded 'too Jewish.'
66 Cher Lloyd from X Factor - No idea what this means/who this is.
65 Elizabeth Sankey (Summer Camp) - Sounds like a Christian summer camp counselor who caught u fingerbanging a girl by the lake by midnight, then had to call ur parents to let them know that u lost ur fingerbanging virginity
64 Tom Hudson (Pulled Apart By Horses) - Wonder if this bro was pulled apart by some horses
63 Ernest Greene (Washed Out) - Ultimate shaft. Ernest Bro shoulda been top 10, riding chillwaves. UKbros aren't chill though
62 Glasser - Is this a human or a band?
61 Ryan Olson (Gayngs) - Heard they had their shit stolen or something
60 Eva Spence (Rolo Tomassi) - so lost. Who the eff is this?
59 Cee Lo Green - cmon. jesus. gnarls bark. Jesus
58 Jack White - boooring. When did the White Stripes first get famous?
57 Daniel Blumberg (Yuck) - Yuck! another nobody. Ewww!
56 Gucci Mane - Think he is 'already free' and irrelevant now
55 Rose Elinor Dougall - no idea. Hope I see a pic of her naked 1 day
54 Julian Casablancas - that's kewl I guess. Was his solo project from 2k10 or 2k9?
53 LoneLady - Sounds like some lady living alone in her dead parents' house with a bunch of cats
52 Tim Harrington (Les Savy Fav) - is this the fat dude who always takes his shirt off?
51 Josh Homme - Sounds like another dude who plays guitar and has a 'great voice'
50 Lady Gaga - So kewl yall. Riding slutwaves. Is 'Poker Face' still relevant?
49 Katy B - Katy Perry? Confused
48 Plan B - Hopefully this is referring the 'abortion pill'
47 Alexis Krauss (Sleigh Bells) - Does n e 1 know if this band is any good, or just the product of the 2k10 buzz drought?
46 Dave Sitek (TV On The Radio) - Is this band / human still relevant
45 Jack Donoghue (Salem) #TeamSalem , #TeamRapeGaze
44 Andrew VanWyngarden (MGMT) - totes a QT! Yay [via Congratulations album flop]
43 Honor Titus (Cerebal Ballzy) - Wonder if this bro has cerebral palsy
42 Nicki Minaj - Some rapper broad
41 Ethan Kath (Crystal Castles) - Shoulda been Alice. H8 Ethan 4 being married 2 Alice
40 Ariel Pink - Ariel seems chill.
39 Orlando Weeks (The Maccabees) - do they mean Orlando Bloom?
38 Lee Spielman (Trash Talk) -nvr heard of them
37 Alex Hewlett (Egyptian Hip Hop) - is there hiphop in Egypt?
36 Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance) - is mychemrom 'alt'?
35 Win Butler (Arcade Fire) - shoulda been higher. Wonder if they have suburbs in the UK
34 MNDR - heard this band is terrible
33 Willow Smith - heard Will Smith's unejaculated semen is a buzzband
32 Dan Devine (Flats) - no idea
31 Akiko Matsuura (The Big Pink/Comanechi) - who the eff is this?
30 Nicky Wire (Manic Street Preachers) -wtf? Sounds like a homeless person's nickname
29 Skream - Do they mean the hit movie series "Scream"?
28 Jamie Reynolds (Klaxons) - Think this is a blog house band
27 Jenny Lee Lindberg (Warpaint) - Is Warpaint blogworthy? Heard they have 4 altbaguettes in their band
26 Giggs - running out of things 2 say. Post is beginning to suffer
35 Jonathan Everything - Sounds more like 'Jonathan Nothing' [via who the eff is this]
34 Marina Diamandis (Marina & The Diamonds) - That's kewl that she changed her name to sound more like her band's name
23 Dee Dee (Dum Dum Girls) - Not sure if that is a real name 4 a human
22 Jack Steadman (Bombay Bicycle Club) - who the eff is this?
21 Jay-Z - S0 boring for a buzzworthy list. Might as well pick LadyGaga/Rivers Cuomo/Kanye West
20 Ritzy Bryan (The Joy Formidable) - Shoulda put Ritz crackers on this list. Those are chill.
19 Kele Okereke - thought his solo project flopped
18 Theo Hutchcraft (Hurts) - Some nobody.
17 James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) - Was his 2k10 album even 'successful'? Will it be remembered at the end of the year?
16 Yannis Philippakis (Foals) - Must not have a strong prsnl brand cuz I dont know who the eff it is
15 Robyn - didn't she have a hit song in the 90s? Why are there so many Robyn apologists in the blogosphere?
14 Zola Jesus - wish the meant 'Jesus Christ the Indie Band'
13 Hayden Thorpe (Wild Beasts) - Wonder if I should move 2 the forest and live with some beasts in the wild. Make a list of 'cool animals' and blog abt them
12 Simon Neil (Biffy Clyro) - Sam Neil was in Jurassic Park
11 Marcus Mumford (Mumford & Sons) -no idea who this is
10 Darwin Deez - who the eff is this
09 Carl Barat - so many no-names. Hard 2 make it thru this list
08 Jack Barnett (These New Puritans) - generic bro name
07 Jonathan Pierce (The Drums) - Think I heard of this band once
06 Paul Weller - Paul Wall?
05 Romy Madley Croft (The xx) - Baddest bitch in indie. Shoulda been #1. Or are u on #TeamOli? Did Oliver Sim / Jamie XX get 'the shaft'?
04 Beth Cosentino (Best Coast) - She totally shafted WAVVES bro.
03 Kanye West - Do they have black ppl in the UK?
02 Janelle Monae - why do ppl keep trying to hype her? Seems like a failed mnstrm artist 2 me who has to settle 4 'blog buzz'
01 Laura Marling - No idea who this is. Must not be very 'cool.' Sounds like a lifestyle brand for tweens who collect school supplies.

**********
Do u think 'list-making' is the ultimate form of online journalism?
Are all of these ppl 'way kewl'?
Can u let me know who some of these ppl are/if they are buzzworthy?
Who got the biggest shaft? Ariel Pink? WAVVES? Washed Out?
Does British ppl have better taste in music/culture than American ppl?
Do u wish u only read magazines and took stuff like this seriously?
Is NME 'authentic' or just a huge pile of poop?
Do yall h8 British press?
Do British ppl h8 American ppl?
Are all magazines/blogs = poop?
Should I make a list of 'kewl shit that's kewl that u should download 2 ur blog iPod'?
Should I take a picture of every1 of my poops for the next year and blg abt it, then make a list at the end of the year ranking the top 300 poops of the year?