Jared Leto wins a fake award, thinks he won a contest for 'greatest band in the history of the world'
Transcript of Jared Leto's Karrang Awards Speech:
Hi, I'm Jared Leto. You might know me from hit movies such as Fight Club, American Psycho, and the popular 90s 'deep' tween show My So Called Life. But now, I am the greatest musician in the history of the world. Bono? Eff that guy. John Lennon? He would h8 being alive in the Leto era. Elton John? I can poop on a piano and make better music than that guy.
I am the greatest, most alternative artist in the history of the world, and I plan on changing the world forever. Lady Gaga? What a loser. Win Butler? Overrated. Animal Collective? More like logs of turd that have accumulated in my unflushed toilet.
I know what ur thinking... "WHat are you holding, Jared?" No, these are NOT weapons. I do not believe in war. I believe in social and mental revolution. I don't believe weapons make a man stronger. I believe that brains make a man stronger, therefore, I am the strongest man in the world.
To clear the record, NO, I am not the fat bro from Subway who lost a lot of weight. Subway ingredients actually contain toxins that kill the aura of ur spirit. Most franchise locations also smell horrible! Ew!
It is great to win this award. We are expanding our fan base into Asia, looking to become the #1 band in China. We will sing about themes that they can relate to. We sing about themes that the human spirit can relate to. My brain is so huge that I am sorta like Professor X mixed with Magneto [via X-men]. I can see into ur brain. At the same time, I can also move stuff with my brain. It's really cool.
Thanks again for voting us the Best Band in the History of Music, Art, Time & Space.
We plan on living forever, and making music forever.
Follow ur dreams. -Jared
Did Jared 'crush it' in his speech?
Do u think he thinks he won a 'real award'?
Does Jared Leto live in an alternate universe?
Is he the #1 artist of all time ever?
Is 30 Seconds to Mars the greatest buzzband of all time ever in the history of music rock n roll?