Ezra Koenig is widely known as 'the hottest hunk in indie'. His keut looks attract any alt, and he can basically just point at girls in the crowd, then they come backstage 2 pleasure him and feed him alt grapes. Then he has them executed so that they never tell the story of 'What Really Happens in VIP.' All of these are rumors, so I'm just letting yall know what the insider vibes are.

Anyways, he seems to have released a new hymn-wave mp3 that is all abt sending positive vibes 2 ppl who are impoverished. I sorta feel inspired 2 live life, sorta like a Dirty Projectors song or something. I just want to ride an orca to the moon and chill with God and have a feast. Not sure what that means, but it sounds like something the DPs would sing abt.

OMG Ezra? U have a sexy poster up in ur room? I have a Cindy Crawford sexi bikini poster in my room that I 'beat off' 2 as I fall asleep, but Ezra seems to have a more artsy fartsy 'tug off' poster. I might have 2 upgrade my poster to something 'more alt' so it will reflect itself in the relevancy of my buzzband. I hope he doesn't have some sort of sex dungeon!

The song seems to indicate that he 'sampled' some previously existing song, but made it better, because it is in the tone of 'white man's indie' instead of 'tropical liberation dank wave'.

Do u <3 Ezra?
Do u miss him?
Have u ever been in VIP with him?
Is he the next Chris Martin if he finally writes a Clocks-like anthem?
Do u <3 this song?
Is Ezra the #1 vlogger in indie?

Plz don't determine my life...
-Ezra Broenig

Ezra Koenig

Alternative Celebrity

Ezzie is the lead singer of the popular buzzband Vampire Weekend

Lists: Members of Vampire Weekend, Jewish, indie hunks, college educated

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