Pitchfork writes pro-Lana Del Rey piece, foreshadows 'soft' editorial stance
Lana Del Rey is known as 'the fakest broad in indie.' She was a failed mainstream artist, but now she's invaded the indiesphere, and because the indiesphere is a) super boring, therefore desperate to ride and human meme until they burn out AND b) obsessed with attractive females, Lana Del Rey has basically already earned blogosphere tenure. Pretending u have an opinion of this broad is way more interesting than pretending you have an opinion on some lofi band's latest shitty mp3/video. Because 2k11 is a really bleak year musically, the indiesphere has resorted to the tactic of 'writing extensive thinkpieces about artists we know damn well aren't going to be around for more than 4 months', which basically explains how James Blake and Tyler the Creator became s00 2k11 famous.
It's just the era of hollow buzz, our last line of defense to hydrate indie lands as the buzz drought turns to a bonafide buzz apocalypse.
Anyways, this article is more relevant than the typical mailed-in Lana Del Rey think piece that leads us to question the modern definition of 'indie' and the perception of females in music because it indirectly functions as Pitchfork's 'official stance' on whether or not they will pile on the cyberbullying of Lana Del Rey, or if they will judge her based on appearance and gimmickry. They basically say, "We're gonna let her gimmick around, and we'll judge the gimmick. We just wanna be fair. Sorry. Nothing 2 see here. Move along. We're not just got to write abt her potential plastic surgery like other low-class indie blogs."
They had some writer bro 'jump on the grenade' for the team, writing some sort of vague piece that basically said 'Let's just judge the broad 4 her music' instead of riding literal pitchfork-waves and storming her metaphorical bastille and crucifying/cyberbullying her. Honestly not even sure what the eff the article is saying, but I can assume that because we can't really extract a coherent thesis from it, it was just meant to 'sidestep' important issues, and proclaim that 'the broad is okay by us.'
Here is some statement that explains her history, then ends in a metaphor abt how all bands are processed meat.
First, I noticed people arguing about her on Twitter, then I read articles and thinkpieces and features about her and the contested authenticity of her history/music/face. (Short version: She used to play plainer music as Lizzy Grant. She looked different then.) Only then was the YouTube clip for "Video Games" sufficiently buffered to give it a decent listen. This is how efficient our online music press is now: With a slow enough connection, you might actually see how the sausage was made (and marketed) before you even smell it cooking.
I sorta actually do wish I had Dr. 90210 style footage of Lana Del Rey 'being made' [via plastic surgery consultation vibes].
Lana Del Rey is a victim. She's just an artist who is dealing with bloggers being a-holes. It's not her fault she can't just make a sexi video on MTV any more. She has 2 go thru blogs bc she is a creative soul who wants 2 give more 2 the world than she would as a mainstream artist.
Del Rey has the ear and the ambition for a pop audience, and an aesthetic that makes an effective splash around the "indie" press. In another time, she might have aimed at a major-label contract, gotten a striking "buzz" video on MTV, and attracted whichever fans responded to it; as of 1996, that's precisely what Fiona Apple did with music not so differently pitched from this stuff. As of 2011, the closest thing we have to MTV's old "buzz bin" is music blogs-- entities with the exact same vested interest in mainstream cool-hunting that your television once had. The only problem is that the people who read, write, and obsess over them are hyper-aware of what a tempting audience they are: They're sensitive to pandering and "fakeness," wary of being used to piggyback toward another audience. Appeal to them successfully, and long arguments about music-industry machinations and "authenticity" are more or less inevitable.
Lana Del Rey is okay, I guess, at some stuff, or something, but maybe not, but it looks okay, but maybe it is contrived, but I guess let's just keep waiting and talking about her, or something.
Watching the clip for "Video Games", you certainly see someone with a terrific visual imagination, someone who's created, and is executing, the kind of pop-star persona that expects her to actually be Lana Del Rey. But the music she's making is squarely in pop's realm; it's not as interested in sounding surprising as it is in looking and feeling that way.
I'm not sure what this closing line means. Maybe just like 'her music might be good, so let's stop talking about her obvious plastic surgery to look more indie.'
In that sense, these great videos are oddly terrible at their job: Instead of selling you the music and showing you how it can feel, they actually hint at what the music lacks, the places it could go but has chosen not to. That situation is a lot more interesting than anything going on with Del Rey's face, and it's a tricky corner to be stuck in.
Sorta wish they just had more of a vibe of like 'if ur a female in indie, and u get plastic surgery, we will boost our coverage and rating of your personal brand/art.' Then we could see artists like St. Vincent get 'b00b jobs', and more broads with big lips. Sorta hope this is a new era of indie, similar to the 'juiced' era of baseball, where we pretend that artists aren't creating an unfair playing field due to unnatural resources.
Overall, #LanaGate is already really boring, but we're going to have 2 keep sifting thru stuff like this for the next ~1 year. This is probably going to be one of the better 'formal blog entries' abt LDR, until magazine writers poop all over the toiler paper that they call 'magazines', reblurbing her story and the same ideas 4 the market of lamestreamers who are chilling out in waiting rooms.
Did P4k basically 'endorse' Lana Del Rey?
Did they 'cream their pants' 4 her?
Do u know what this bloggypost even said?
Is it clear that P4k is officially on #TeamLanaDelRey?
Was this actually a 'pan' or a typical 'mainstream publication sidestep-pan' where the meaty/interesting 'vitriol' is deleted by an editor?
Does this mean she is breaking the 9.0 barrier?
Is she the only reliable meme that the indiesphere has now?
Is she too hot not to cast a spell on indie bro bloggers?
In conclusion, this is a picture of Lana Del Rey in a bikini top, holding a cat.