HIPSTER RUNOFF

It seems like every one is 'blowing their load' on the Lana Del Rey gang bang, as if it is a pornography film entitled 'Indie Gangbang: Can she handle 1,000,000 fresh loads #facialfest2k12'? Now it seems like the New York Times, who is like the biggest blogpaper on the planet, has finally decided to join in the slutshaming of Lana Del Rey. They do their best to 'pan the eff' out of Lana Del Rey, and also, pan the eff out of the internet, blogs, and any1 else who has ever mentioned Lana Del Rey in a tweet, blogpost, tumblog, or Myspace Bulletin.

They say that Lana Del Rey is a 'retarded special ed student' who can only return the scantron with one answer bubbled in the whole way.

On top of music like that, anything shy of full commitment would underwhelm, and over the course of this album, that’s just what happens. Ms. Del Rey has an idea about her presentation, which counts for something — to some it counts for everything — but her singing still sounds like a road test. “Born to Die” doesn’t solve Ms. Del Rey’s problems because it isn’t aware of them; it’s a multiple choice test with every answer scanned “C.”

I am not sure if they mean to say 'Lana Del Rey is a retard' in terms of her artistic vision, singing abilities, her marketing planning, or with her managerial decisions. I suppose they intend it to mean 'all of the above.' U have to wonder if likening her to a special ed/student with learning disabilities 'went too far' for the sake of sensational music commentary.

They also said that Carles was 'full of shit', and a 'disgrace' to the entire indie rock music criticism and cultural commentary community.

It has also resulted in a self-perpetuating apoplexy around her image and reception. A parody self-defense written in Ms. Del Rey’s voice was published on the Web site Thought Catalog, but was then removed after zealous, repeated entreaties from Ms. Del Rey’s publicity team, which insisted that fans were confused, even after a disclaimer was added. The satirical trend-thumping site Hipster Runoff, a frequent and happy agitator of Ms. Del Rey’s and others, reprinted it. Carles, the site’s author-proprietor-inventor, also went into self-examination mode, writing about the evolution of blogs from taste-making engines to traffic-generating tools of destruction, as if those weren’t the same thing to begin with.

It truly feels as if the mainstream media is beginning to turn on Carles just like they have turned on LDR. Today, maybe we are all slutshamed slutshamers, who can't help but continue to slutshame. In a way, maybe blogs are not traffic-generating tools of destruction, but instead, the craft of writing is truly just a dark mechanism of slutshaming. Perhaps today, we are all trapped. We are all slutshamers. We can only be the 'meme whoremonger' or the #mongered.

The writer offers the suggestion that Lana Del Rey should make up a new fake name and try to relaunch her career in a few years so that we can all blogbully her one last time.

There is hypocrisy all around: on the part of Ms. Del Rey, on the part of her various teams and enablers, on the part of her dissecters and executioners. A career founded on bad faith all around can’t be long for this world, but at this point what can Ms. Del Rey do? Not much. Her cultural stamp has already been affixed, her biography written in concrete. The only real option is to wash off that face paint, muss up that hair and try again in a few years. There are so many more names out there for the choosing.

Why has the mainstream media turned on the blogstream media?
Did Carles 'get effing served'?
Are u tired of all the 'Lana Del Rey hater' haters?
Is Carles nothing but a slutshamer + meme whore monger?
Is Lana Del Rey 'completely effed'?
Did they 'cross the line' with the retard/special ed metaphor?
R u tired of all the slutshaming on the internet?
Has LDR coverage 'gone too far'?

Lana Del Rey

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Lana Del Rey is a hot female indie singer. She is 'mad controversial.'

Lists: potentially fake lips, slutwave, QTs, it girls, curly hair, critical darlings, 2k11 buzzbands

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Carles

Meme, Blog, Alternative Celebrity

Carles is the popular blogger from the popular internet website HIPSTER RUNOFF.

Lists: mysterious, indie hunks, HIPSTER RUNOFF bros, chillwave, bloggers

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