SHOCKING NEWS: Ben Gibbard turns to pills in wake of Zooey Deschanel divorce | Hipster Runoff

SHOCKING NEWS: Ben Gibbard turns to pills in wake of Zooey Deschanel divorce


Ben BB! Say it ain't so! U've turned to pills to deal with the recent divorce from Zooey Deschanel. I know that she is trying to take the house and the collection of ukeleles, but u HAVE to be at peace with this 2 move on with ur life. #itgetsbetter. I sorta don't blame him though, because I am sure it is difficult to escape from the MAJOR MEDIA BLITZ that ZoZo has been on, basically since their divorce.

Just this weekend, Zooey Deschanel showed her BANGIN bikini bod 2 the entire world. Many body language experts commented that this was a clear signal to the Gibbard camp to say 'look at me! My bod is bangin and I am FREE!' Maybe the message sunk in a little bit TOO much, and there is only one way to escape from the pain.

Now Ben Gibbard has turned to an undentified bottle of pills. I think the street name is called 'D Vitamins' and the dealer is 'Trader Joe', who is a notorious drug kingpin in the Great Northwest. Who knows what is inside of this pill bottle, but all we know is that it might be the only way that Ben can escape from the pain, hurt, betrayal, and the TRUE STORY that every1 is trying 2 uncover.

Gibbard commented, "It's getting to be this time of year in the Northwest." Many say that this is a suicidal metaphor, a clear reference to the suicide of Kurt Cobain, who took his own life in the Pacific Northwest.

Right now, all we can do is #pray4benjamin.

He may have lost ZoZo, but that doesn't mean he should give up hope. Sometimes, hope is all we have...

R u worried abt Ben Gibbard?
Have u ever done this drug?
Do u ever have those days where u think 2 urself 'It's getting 2 b that time of year in the NXNW?' [via dark thoughts]
Is this a cry 4 help?
Would u be dead on the inside if u got divorced from Zooey Deschanel, then she went on a MASSIVE BRANDING ASSAULT on the mainstream?
Have u ever done pills?

Ben Gibbard

Alternative Celebrity

Ben Gibbard is the lead singer of the Death Cabs and the now defunct Postal Service. Zooey Deschanel married him to be more indie.

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Zooey Deschanel

Alternative Celebrity, Actor

Zooey Deschanel is an actress turned indie songstress in the mediocre buzzband She & Him.

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