HIPSTER RUNOFF

Sometimes it is important 2 remember that there are alts out there
Who don't care abt material things
Like srsly don't care abt material things 4 realsies, though
And don't take baths
and don't ride cars
and don't make money
and look sorta homeless

The crust kids of the Earth
The crusty kids of society
The crusties
They don't really know what alt relevancy is
but at the same time
they don't want 'relevancy'

I am
The Crust Kid

I am a human
Hunting and gathering for food
Whether it is [via freeganism]
Or [via just plain dumpster diving behind a Dominos-ism]

While we both live in the same world
I see a world
completely different than the 1 u r trapped in
You think 'being alt' means reading the internet every day
I don't know what 'alt' even is, I am just me
U get in ur car every day, but I have constructed a sillie bike to ride around town

In fact, I am part of a community of other ppl
who build zany bikes
and we ride our zany bikes around in MadMaxian packs

This is our Battlefield Earth // We are the crust kids

When a crust kid walks into your favourite coffee shop
and sits next 2 u
U feel insecure
and u wonder 'is that person more alt than me?"
"They are reading a book, they aren't on a laptop"
"They probably don't even have a twitter"
"It kinda smells"
"I wonder if they are homeless or alt"
The Crust Kids don't care abt ur mainstream or altstream judgment

What's ur name?
Why r u crusty?
I can save u.

Why don't u want 2 be like most girls I know?
I'd take u on a $2000 Urby Outfitters + Am Appy shopping spree
But u don't want to wear those clothes
U would rather spend that money on other goods and services
that would make ur life more meaningful

U have a dog
Who has the same diet as u
[via living off the land]

I don't 'get' it
because I wouldn't want my dog eating
Taco Bell, Panera Bread, Chili's and other chain restaurants.
But I respect it. Ur lifestyle.

The children of the crust alts
confuse me
Because I am so 'consumer alt'
Connected 2 my Macbook

Maybe the crust kids are 'truly living'...

I see a house that burned down
U see ur dream home

I see some sort of weird grave / pile of crap
U see ur dream home

I see 'an underpass'
and u see 'an underground crust kid festival'

For all I know
Crust kids are not homosexual or heterosexual
They are pansexual, omnisexual, metasexual, and pre-trans-sexual

Crust kids
have dread locks
but not because their fave band is Incubus
They just haven't been by the river lately 2 take a bath

We are the crusties
The Crustwave kids
U see us
And u don't 'get' us

We see mainstream consumer alts who 'love indie music'
and we don't 'get' u
We don't get U
hidden behind ur Macbook
Overpaying for 'vintage thrift' clothes
When u could just steal them

U collect things
While we live off the land

We srsly purchase PBR
because it is 'mad cheap'
Sometimes we just chill on rubbing alcohol
Just wanna get effed up

We're the crust kids
Next time u see us
Stop by and say hi
Don't be afraid

Don't mind the crust on my skin
the dirt in my hair
The stank of my scent
The plaque on my teeth

I never want 2 be like u
U think ur so alt
but ur so trapped
Have fun in the blogosphere
I'm gonna go ride my bike
Pick up some free pizza
Have unprotected sex in a public park
Hop on a train and search for another network of crusties in a different city
and wake up 2morrow and do it all over again

************

Do yall ever see crust kids?
R u scared of crusties?
Are 'ppl who read Vice' just 'wannabe crusties'?
Who will be the next crustwave indie alt band?
Do they 'stink' / have nothing 2 contribute 2 modern society?
What do they want out of life?
Why don't they see 'alt' the same way we see it?
Are they 'more alt' than 'indie internet alts who shop at retail stores on the internet'?
Is being a 'consumer alt' cowardly? Or are we just trying to 'leave a mark' on the world/the arts and crusties have 'given up'?
Do u think that u could 'live off the land' and search for food in dumpsters?
Have yall ever eaten anything out of a dumpster, or do u prefer 'paying for service' [via the modern dining experience]?
Is pizza the only thing that all humans share as a common interest?

Plz use the comments section 2 share ur personal stories abt interactions with crust kids. Are they 'chill' or do they 'kill the vibe'? [via lack of depth + self-awareness]

Photo by Grande Fille

It's hard 2 be a mainstream female in the modern world
But I'm glad
I'm alt
I can really 'be me'

I know there's been tons of 'skinny bitches' in recent alt movies
Zooey Deschanel's crazy coke look [link]
Natalie Portman in the Black Swan: A Tale of Lezbo Hornie Anorexia
but I'm me

It does't matter how I look
It doesn't matter what I eat
It doesn't matter what u want me 2 be
I am free

Free 2 wear meaningful beanies, scarves, skinny jeans
Getting my nostril pierced
Wearing keut alt glasses
I love being a part of the scene

I can grub where ever I want
A vegan bakery
Chili's
Trader Joe's Olive Bar
Dunkin Donuts
Einstein Bro's Bagels
James Murphy's House of Pancakes
Chipotle
Combination Olive Garden + Red Lobster

I can be me
I can eat
whatever I want
And the indie blogosphere modern alt scene is here 4 me

I have the perfect alternative breasts
U have the perfect alternative breasts

Where I can go to an Arcade Fire show and not feel 'out of place'
Where I can listen to indie buzzbands and not be body-typially-profiled
Where I can meet the perfect altbro who <3s me 4 me

Love = Alt
Alt = Love
Me = U
Fat = Skinny
Alt = Mnstrm

I wanna become 1 with u
I wanna be me with u

I am the plus sized alt.
Alt has no size.
It feels good 2 be an alt
When alt is me and I am alt.

Does alt 'have a size'?
Can any1 be welcomed in2 the alt scene, no matter their skin color/size/ethnic background?
Do u have to be 'skinny' 2 wear 'skinny jeans'?
Do u h8 our modern mainstream society that pressures every1 2 be skinny?

Previously

Alt Has No Size. Love Has No Size. I am the Plus-Sized Alt

I spend a lot of time and energy h8ing suburbia, wanting to break free from my past, shaking my fist at the mold that created me. However... as I enter the twilight of my twenty-something prime, and look ahead, I can't help but wonder if suburbia is actually some sort of 'utopia' where everything is pretty easy. U can drive a huge car, park in a huge parking lot, and unload the groceries via the garage in2 ur big ass house with a big ass TV. Even though right now, that process sounds lamestream and authentic, maybe it's a good way of life.

What if u were hungry, and u could drive less than 2 miles to a series of relevant franchise chain restaurants, all at varying price points, offering you the opportunity 2 dine on cuisine from 'around the world'? Is that really a bad thing?

As u know, most chain restaurants work in 'combos' 2 maximize operational efficiencies. I'm sure yall have vibed out at Pizza Hut / Taco Bell / KFC.

And maybe eaten at Chili's / On the Border of Mexico / Maggiano's Lil Italie.

But what if I told u that the new 'it' combo restaurant was the combination Red Lobster + Olive Garden. Seems rlly convenient, like this is the type of innovation that we need to 'save' suburbia. More restaurant mashups, more convenience, offer more opportunities 4 consumers 2 have more power than evr.

Sorta wonder if complimentary cheddar biscuits are going 2 become the new 'SXSWestern eggrolls.'

Or if 'free salad and breadsticks' will become the official relevant appetizer of the 2k20s.

I am rlly excited. Have had so many great memories at Red Lobster/Olive Garden.

Feels like we were transported 2 'Little Italy', eating rustic concept food.

Celebrating 'girls night out' with a bottle of wine @ the olive garden

Celebrating my 21st birthday with some lobster, some free cake, and some of my best friends.

Red Lobster: A great place 2 get some fried_wave shrimp/seafood + creamy sauce
Olive Garden: A great place 2 get some noodles & ketchup / creamy alfredo
Combo: A great place 2 bring ur family 2 share good times.

Really feels like Red Lobster + Olive Garden 'hybrid' restaurants might be what makes suburbia 'relevant.' Really hope that the 2k10s become known as the years when franchise restaurants were really down 2 'collab' and 'remix' one another. It feels like with this type of 'collab', we should no longer 'fear the suburbs', but instead 'buy property and build a factory home' in the suburbs. Maybe Win Butler was wrong all along...

I'll see you guys at Olive Garden / Red Lobster.

Which restaurant collabs do u want 2 see?
McDonalds + Chipotle?
Whataburger + In&Out?
Taco Bell + Panda Express?
Panda Express + Pei Wei?
Subway + Wendy's?
Chili's + Applebees + TGIFriday's?
IHOP + Denny's?
Panera Bread + Quizno's?
Golden Corral + Golden Corral?
Outback + Ruby Tuesday?
Is combination Olive Garden+Red Lobster 'the new Chili's?
How would u rate the dining experience at Olive Garden/Red Lobster?
Should I get a waitressing internship at Red Lobster/Olive Garden since I am only taking 6 hours at my suburban community college this year?
Do franchise chain restaurants make u feel 'trapped in suburbia/society'?
If u had a family of four that you had 2 feed for a low price, where would u take ur family 2 eat?

Photos by sexypeoplezone

I am the modern alternative bro
Cutting my hair
I haven't been to 'the barber shoppe' in years
I haven't seen the back of my head in years
Guessing and checking
2 give myself an authentic haircut

I do my best to 'get it right'
But it is those imperfections in my hair
that make it the official alt + bro haircut
Paying $9.99 at my local Supercuts just doesn't make sense
When I can buy drugs / alcohol / 2 albums from Amazon MP3

I use progressive techniques 2 give myself a wonderful haircut

I just don't have the time 2 drive to suburbia to pay 4 a haircut at a haircutting franchise 'chain'

I'm not a child
I remember those days sitting in the barber chair
Some of the most intense moments of introspection of my life

"Am I a handsome bro?"
"Do girls want 2 bang me?"
"Will I fingerbang my GF in the movie theatre this weekend?"

My hair is art

I am a conceptual being.
My hair is living performance art
It grows. I cut it.
As I get older, it begins 2 fall out
I am afraid of cutting my own hair
as I 'go bald'
Will I 'shave it all off'
Will I execute a 'ridiculous combover' [via Donnie Trumps]

Fortunately, I don't have a 'real job'
Nor do I have plans 2 get 1 evr
Making my alt haircut 'functional'
Rlly fits in2 my alternative lifestyle

I grow my alt hair out
It is long and beautiful and alt
Then I cut my hair
In2 something short and alt
This bro is me.
This is my haircut.

I am a true altbro.
I cut my own hair.

Do u cut ur own hair?
Do true altbros 'cut their own hair' or do they go 2 a franchise chain barber shop?
Do bros who cut their own hair 'look like shit'?
Would u walk in2 a job interview 4 a 'real job' if u cut ur own hair?
Do alt girls cut their own hair, or does their 'artsy bff' cut their hair?
Should I attend a modern beauty school so I can learn how 2 dye scene kids' hair platinum?
If u cut ur own hair, do u not contribute anything 2 society?
Should I get a flowbee?

Do u manscape ur own pubes or ride Brazi Bikini Wax Waves?

I remember when I was a child, my parents would drive me to school most mornings, dropping me off to start my day. Even though they didn't realize it because they had 'grown up problems', there was a lot of anxiety within me abt the kind of car that they drove. A lot of ppl say u go 2 school to 'learn', but the American school system is actually a process of 'being judged' and learning how to react/evolve/thrive/fail. Most Americans know whether or not they 'fit in' with society by the end of freshman year of high school.

Even though my parents didn't really have a 'sloppy jalopy' like some of the poorest kids at school, I still felt like my parents should have probably worked harder so that they could have bought a sweet car that would have aided/enhanced my personal brand. It's sorta weird how even though ur a kid, u can still tell how 'material things' can shape ur 'social status.' Even though u r young, and have no idea how money works/how much BMWs+Mercedes+Range Rovers cost, u wish ur parents would move to a cheaper house so they could at least have a sweet ass ride.

I felt scared that my personal brand would be compromised if some1 saw me getting out of a 'poor person'/lower middle class car. Like ppl would think that I ate 'free lunch' and lived in some sort of 'crappy apartment' on the edge of town/our district. They would find out I came from a single-parent household, or that we had been on 'food stamps' until my mom got her most recent job. They would find out that my Abercrombie clothes were actually 'hand me downs'/purchased on sale/that I made my mom max out her credit card 2 purchase them.

Didn't really matter if my parents had paid off our car
Paid off our house
Had an excellent retirement / savings / college fund 4 our entire family...

Nothing says 'I'm fucking sweet + loaded'
Like getting dropped off in a sweet car
Will Smith was right
'Parents just don't understand.'

"I don't tolerate dorkiness." -lil ass hole bro

Feel ashamed of my father
for being such a 'middle class failure'
I wish he would get a sweeter job
Buy me sweeter shit
Kewl clothes, Video Games, Macbooks, Vlogging Cameras
I am more than just a spoiled tween
I am a lifestyle brand

"My dad is a fucking pussie. I am ashamed of him. The whole world treats him like shit because he is a human turd."

Nothing is sweeter than having a sweet car with kid-friendly features
Were u the kind of ass hole who made ur parents listen 2 ur selected tunes
or did u let them play their 70s/80s classic hits?

But srsly...
I am ashamed of my 'dumbass dad'
He doesn't know how to use a fucking GPS
turn on the CD player, satellite radio, the seat warmers
Really clear why he hasn't gotten a raise/promotion in 10 years
when his dumbass probably can't even figure out how 2 use the copy machine.

Look at his bald, fat ass
I swear to god
I will kill myself if I become him
I mean, let's be honest...
He drives a goddamned Toyota
I am pretty sure those are for 'middle class' ppl
no matter how u try 2 brand them.

Letting ur friends ride in the back seat with u
Have some sweet ass TV screens in the back
Escape from their lamestream parents
Who don't really 'get' why social status is important
4 forming a successful child in our modern society

Just glad my parents took the time to really 'think abt' how a kid can turn out to be 'effed' if they think they are inferior to other kids. Kids need to feel 'rich', even if they aren't. Raising a kid who thinks he/she is poor means raising a kid who doesn't believe they can achieve their dreams. Instead of seeing money as no object, they see it as a bottleneck/restraining factor in their existence.

My parents understood that they had to 'spend some money' to make sure that I was rich and able to select from the top tier of 'potential friends' at my local elementary/middle/high school.

Once again
My personal brand
is a lifestyle brand
I am 'selling myself' to all the other kids at school
They want 2 be me
They want a part of me
They want to know what my life is like
I am a unique experience/human/brand

Would give anything
to be dropped off at school
in a helicopter / airplane / submarine / time machine every day
Just want my parents to be 'richer than every1'
Want to be secure
Want my dad to 'be a man'
I want to have the #1 personal brand in my class.

I am a lil tween ass hole
Way 2 aware of material things & social status
If only I could appreciate my parents
4 putting a roof ovr my head
and filling my spoiled face with fast food

//ashamed of u dad

Is Toyota launching a 'brilliant' / 'spot on' marketing campaign, or are they 'pissing off America'?
R u afraid of having a spoiled tween who thinks too much abt 'social status'?
Did u make ur parents drop u off a block away from school because they drove a shitty car?
R u ashamed of ur parents for being 'too poor/middle class' or did it help 2 shape u / make u 'appreciate life' more?
Do u wish ur parents were rich so u never really had 2 work/take things seriously?
Is this kid a 'lil ass hole'?

Is 'the lil ass hole' the new face of Toyota?
Should I go and buy a Toyota Highlander so my tween son will stop being a spoiled lil a-hole?

Did I mention my dad is a 'complete fggt' who wears fanny packs?
So ashamed of him
Srsly not going 2 become my parents
trapped in suburbia
driving a pseudo-luxury SUV
popping out spoiled kids like myself.

I'm going 2 break the cycle
H8 SUVS, suburbia, mortgages and raising kids

PREVIOUSLY
My parents drive a car that makes me look poor.

I'm just a polar bear
the distant cousin of the Panda Bear
Living in the Arctic/Antarctic
Every day big pieces of ice that I live on
begin 2 melt away

kinda sad
so many humans
ruining my vibes
by driving 'gas guzzlers'

but recently, humans started driving Hybrid Cars
which use a lil bit of gas
and a lil bit of electricity
has really helped out
shits not melting as much any more
it's rlly sweet

I decided to go on a lil 'road trip' to visit a human
who recently bought a NISSAN LEAF HYBRID AUTOMOBILE
just to say 'thnx'
Even though he didn't realize it
he really helped me
and I just want him 2 know that he is a chill bro
for riding the electric car wave

Swam in the ocean
crawled thru the forest
walked thru relevant major metropolitan areas
Walked down highways
Visited a few chill places, bought some souvenirs
Even lived in a sweet loft in Brooklyn
but ultimately felt more alone than evr

Anyways, eventually got to that bro's house
and hugged him
Dude thought I was gonna kill him
but I was like 'no bro--thnx 4 buying a hybrid. U saved my life.'

Then he was all like "Dont know who the eff u r.
I wanted to buy a Hummer
but ended up in this lil piece of shit car
Know the gas is cheap
but still
feel like a pussie when I drive it around."

Then I was like "I live on an ice cap
thanx for not melting it."

Then he said "Global Warming is Bull shit.
Go back 2 ur g-d hippie college
and leave me alone with ur liberal propaganda
[via the Daily Colbert Show]"

I went ahead and caught a JetBlue flight home
so I could watch TV during my flight.
Feeling kinda dumb
Like a long distance love affair that didn't work out.

I feel like a huge piece of shit
I wish my ice cap igloo house had just melted away
and a huge piece of ice cut me in half
killing me, taking me out of my misery

Humans are kinda lame
Not sure if they 'get' the environment
or if they really care abt animals like me/relevant ecosystems
Seems like they only care abt hybrid cars
for the sake of 'status'

Just kinda sux that everything
is abt branding + consumerism
instead of 'doing it 4 the right reasons'
2 save the polar bears

I'm still alone
No1 understands me
I'm completely fucked

Nothing can save our Earth/world/environment/society
It doesn't matter what I do with my life
who I am nice 2
what I believe in

We're fucked.
Goodnite world
Sad/Dead on the inside

//////////

Can we save the environment [via carbon emissions] or is it already effed?
If I buy a hybrid, will some sort of animal come 2 thank me?
Do hybrid cars even make a difference?
If a panda bear/ polar bear hugged u in ur driveway would u try to kill it?
Is global warming = bullshit?
Should I buy a Nissan Leaf or does it look like a clown car?
Are the ice caps rlly melting, or is that an old wives' tale?
Should all animals be preserved 4evr in man-made environments at regional zoos?
Should ppl 'walk' instead of buying hybrids?
Will polar bears come 2 kill us if we keep melting their igloos?
Do u h8 environmentalism?

Thinking abt my personal brand
and how I am growing older
and Am Appy / plaid shirts
Zany headbands
Fly ass sneakers
and bloggable jeans
no longer take my prsnl brnd to 'such great heights'

Feel like I need to become a 'cool dad'
a free-spirted mom
a high bloggable parent
Who does more than just 'squirt out a few kids'
that were generated from my own seed/egg

Just want to adopt an American-born child
Let every1 know that I understand there is are emerging population issues

Not sure if I vibe that hard 2 importing kids
There's plenty of kids who need homes in America
and are pretty comparable to foreign kids
just as long as they are immersed in American society

I think abt how sweet and bad ass my life has been
No real problems, got to focus on social aspects of life
and not rlly any expectations 2 'be something great'
so it would be chill if I was able to raise some kids
that vibed out to my same American dream

Just want every1 to see my skin
then see the skin of my child
and be like "Damn. He is a good person. Because the baby has dark skin, they were probably 'rescued' from a dire situation. Wish I had the energy/financial resources 2 save some1. Instead, I am focused on raising kids with the same skin colour as me who don't appreciate it."

Just need 2 rebrand rlly bad
do something more meaningful with my life
because it seems like I'll never be in a buzzband
I'll never find an authentic partner
I'll never do anything buzzworthy with my life
Maybe it's time to 'pull a Sandra Bullock' [via the Blind Side]
and ride the Brangelina wave
Get serious abt life

Do u think adoption is chill?
Is adoption 'authentic' or do u prefer ur own seed?
Are there 'population issues' [via over-crowding]?
Should Americans only be allowed to have 1 child per household so we don't drain our corn / powdered milk reserves?
Is carrying a coloured/foreign child a 'great personal branding strategy'?
Did Sandra Bullock's career 'go down the shitter' after SPEED?

Apple recently came out with a new iPhone that has a webcam / HD video camera on it, so u can vlog and video chat with other people instead of using the phone in a generic manner. The new ads 'highlighting' this feature seem like they are really trying to demonstrate how technology can enhance opportunities for authentic human connections. Sorta feel like they portrayed tons of mainstream, Middle American ideas of 'family', 'love', and 'relationships', trying to make the Apple brand 'essential' in Middle America.

Honestly feel kinda bummed because I thought I was progressive 4 using Apple products.
Guess now that there is an Apple Store at every suburban mall, I should stop kidding myself
Apples are for streamers
Dells are fore streamers
GPS devices are for suburban streamers
All technology has 'gone mainstream' [via relatively affordable price points/in-store credit opportunities]

Every1 loves 2 love technology
An opportunity to stay connected
Every new product--website, software, or hardware device
gives us an opportunity to take 'humanity' to the next level
Making us more relevant than any generation before us
the ability to do more great things

So pumped to use the lil camera on my iPhone 4
Gonna livevlog so hard
No longer waiting til I get home to upload my vlogs to my youtube/vimeo account
my tribe of followers are gonna be soo connected to my web brand

Gonna tell my boyfriend that he finally planted a load of semen in my vagina

Livevlogging via Apple will change everything
Feel like it will be just as fulfilling as hanging out with some1 in person
Won't even really have 2 leave the house
or buy a cell phone plan--probs just a data plan
with the skype/iChat app

Can't wait to break up with my GF using iPhone video chat technology
Or to tell her that she 'looks like shit' and needs to put on something
more flattering/forgiving for our date

Might also tell her that I have an STD
Or 'threaten 2 kill her' [via Mel Gibson / OJ Simpson]

I always feel creeped out
and uncomfortable when old people use technology

I feel like they deserve to live their lives' without it
New commercials make me kinda sad that we are forcing iProducts down their throats
because I don't really think I want to experience any of these lamestream events in my life
Don't wanna have a family
Don't wanna have a kid
Don't want to 'take care' of my parents after they get old
Gonna stick them in a homeless community without wifi, and limited TV access
Might just ship them 2 North Korea

But maybe when I am a dad,
I will buy my daughter a cell phone so that we don't fall out of touch
I can use technology to relate to her on her own level
send her positive texts
maybe even 'get hornie' and sext with her if my marriage falls apart and I become an alcoholic

She is soo spoiled
Paid for braces
Data plan
Private School
Horse Riding Lessons
and she can't even vlog with me?

'spoiled ass bitch' -Gen Y dad after raising a terrible kid

Even if I'm in the military
and my wife gives birth
U can jam an iPhone up her pussy
and 'live vlog' that shit
Kinda sad I won't be able to start off being a 'deadbeat dad' on the right foot.

Even if u can't 'talk' on ur phone, u can utilize sign language
to vlog hard

I miss the days when Apple would just put a cutesy indie song in their commercials
harvesting buzzbands to the mainstream
like the Feists
or other 'shitty alt rock songs'
like that one by the band JET

I remember when I was the only alt in my elementary / middle school / high school / college dorm to have a Mac
Before it was even 'maltstream trendy'
Really just fit in with my lifestyle
Not even trying '2 be kewl'

But now every1 has an apple product
iPhones
iPods
iShuffles
iMacs
iPads
iTweens

So many opportunities
to help Middle Americans and mainstreamers
utilize technology in tacky ways
How much is 2 much?

I remember when technology used to just be for people who lived in relevant cities
but I guess suburban families are kinda rich
and have tons of money 2 blow
at Apple Store outlets

How do u feel about Apple's new Middle American brand?
Is Apple 'swirling down the shitter' or are they like a buzzband that is morphing into U2?
Are Apple's products 'perfect' or is AT&T 'fucking bullshit'?
Should I start using Android for pure Google integration?
Do u h8 living in the vlog era?
What meaningful moments of ur life do you think you will livevlog with your friends and families?
Do these commercials make u want to throw up?
Do u wish you could be a semi-professional actor who got the chance to star as a 'generic American' in an iPhone commercial?
Are humans 'too connected' via technology?

LeBron James celebrates his new life with Kanye West, creating a controversial meme / think piece for the internet 2 analyze.

2 ass holes
trying 2 hard
2 be 'global brands'
2 be 'universally loved'

Working out their insecurities in public forums
In surreal contexts
One bro 'makes kewl sounds and raps over them
The other bro puts bouncey balls into hoops

As a society
we have told them that they are valuable because of their gifts
and they are both trying to 'make us happy'
Since they believe the fruits of their labors will help them to
inspire us to buy shit with their names on it.

Both mix art, sport, and commerce
trying to build a brand to 'sell shit'
Jerseys, albums, shoes, art
Trying to transcend demographics
Black, white, Chinese, Indian
Poor, Rich, Russian Billionaires, kids who can't afford shoes
tons of middle class white kids

Feel like we've been 'betrayed'
These bros are just so unchill
They are all about 'me'
But they are sort of like 'Me 1.0'
Me 2.0 exists on the internet
in the twitter/facebook status update era

Me 1.0 bros are just baffling
because they lack 'the self-awareness'
/are 'too insecure' to just chill out
Not make everything s000 contrived

Me 2.0 bros react fast on the twitter
It's not even that difficult to be Me 2.0
Me 2.0 bros 'get it' in a mainstream way
and are quick to share their snarky observations with the world

Me 2.0 bros really 'get off' to exposing Me 1.0 bros.

R u Me 1.0, 2.0, 3.0, 4.0, 5.0 or ____.0?

Feel like Kanye West and LeBron James don't really want people to h8 them
The bros are motivated to 'be loved'
to 'get their dicks sucked'
both physically and metaphorically

Think they might just need 'friends'
a solid network of bros who aren't lost in their inane talents
A network of bros who won't bang their moms [via Delonte West]
Some1 to help them understand who they are
sort of like a life coach

Might just vibe out,
listen to some vintage ironic non-ironic positive vibe rap
Brought to us by the ultimate African American personal brand
Will Smith

Will Smith was truly the first African American
that young white people 'let into their homes'
(Most were too young to really bro down with Bill Cosby, except 2 eat Pudding Pops)
(And Steve Urkel wasn't really kewl enough/was just a gimmick)

So we have learned to love Will Smith
He has become an even more likable black version of Tom Cruise
So positive that it is difficult 2 believe
He even created a mini version of himself [via the Black Karate Kid]

N e ways
just wanted to say
LeBron and Kanye are ass holes
Don't really wanna get too insightful
or even 'give them advice'
because I think I enjoy watching them 'do dumb shit'
and create bloggable internet memes

But I feel like they have emerged as a 'new version of a black stereotype'
Maybe a Super-Sized Racial Stereotype that is only achievable in the modern world / internet era.
More than just an 'Uncle Tom' who wants to bro down with white people
or the 'sambo' who loves to perform for white people
or even the 'gorilla' who is commonly associated as some sort of 'beast' / 'bad guy' / 'violent, uncontrollable black man'

A new stereotype seems to have emerged,
and LeBron + Kanye are the 'poster boys'
of this African American Human Meme Stereotype

Feel 'racist' for suggesting this
But here is the criteria
a) Considered 'great' at their profession in a superficial kind of way
b) High level of fame across races
c) Trying super hard to 'expand their personal brands'/make every1 love them
d) Clearly never going to be as 'great' as others in their profession
e) Does shit that 'makes them h8ed' on the reg
f) They have evolved past the 'thug' stereotype and are more interested in appealing to white people with $$$ to buy stuff
g) Get tons of blog coverage
h) Ultimately symbolize some sort of 'tragic figure' still searching for an identity in an absurd, post-racial world.

Feel confused and scared for them
Like 'they can't win'
But they are trying really hard 2 'win'
Not even sure what they do

Heads up their own asses
Becomes 'fun to h8 them'
Cuz every day I browse the internet
for people/memes to <3
and people/memes 2 h8

Seems chill to be able to 'hate' these bros so hard
I feel 'more interesting' when I can react to negative vibes
instead of just trying to spread positive vibes all the time.
As chill as chillwaves can be
sometimes u gotta get harsh on some bros to have a 'dynamic personality'

Welcome 2 Miami
Bienvenidos a Miami.

Who is a bigger ass hole: LeBron James or Kanye West?
Which bro is more self-aware?
Do they represent a complex new stereotype / genre of 'famous African American bro' that the world has never seen before?
Who got 'fucked over' more: Taylor Swift or Cleveland?
Is LeBron James an ass hole 4 taking this picture?

Photo by the Stereo Argonaut

I'm so hornie
Super hornie
Just a hornie raver bro
Gonna get some horns
and glue that shit 2 my head.

Would be 'mad alt' if I were some how able
to grow horns out of my skull
Sorta look like the devil

Kinda jeal of ram horns though...

They seem mad alt
like u can really 'butt heads' with people
both physically
and intellectually

Elephant tusks seem mad alt, too

Bet u can really 'gore up ur parents'
when they tell u that u can't go out
and that u are not really 'gay'
that ur just pretending to be gay 'just to be different'

Horny toads seem chill too

Horns seem aggressive
but at the same time
'just trying to protect myself'
from so many natural and social predators who are trying to dampen my vibe/brand

Piercings on my face
connecting my nose 2 my mouth
Raver bracelets on my arms
painted finger nails

They are all pretty sweet personal branding tools
But I just wish I had something that 'set me apart' from the crowd
without being a deformity
Something that made me look like I was 'half animal, half human'
Kinda like the wolf tweens [link]

I'm deviant
I'm dark
I'm hornie

Just a lil hornie bro
Might go 2 a rave

I'm hornie
Gonna make out with my bro

Erect peens
I don't believe in 'gender'
I just believe in <3, h8, and cum
bc I'm hornie.

R u hornie?
Are horns an authentic personal branding tool?
Do ravers come up with the best personal branding gimmicks?
Do u know where I can buy some horns, or do I have 2 kill an animal?
What is the most authentic animal with horns?

Photos by the cobrasnake http://thecobrasnake.com/partyphotos.html

Sometimes I wonder what the future of the music festival is. It seems like most music festivals are 'so corporate' now that they are sort of losing their identity, and don't fully take advantage of middle America. I feel like raves are sorta like the NASCAR of live music events. It sorta caters to the massive market of 'low-end' consumers who just need an excuse to drink/do drugs/assimilate with their weird interpretation of alt culture.

feel like 'low-end alts' might be the future of mass alternative markets. The high-end indiesphere 'isn't where all the money is. Apparently this 'rave' called Electric Daisy Carnival drew 185,000 people.

Music festivals really are getting out of hand. This rave seems chill because there are 'free refills' on water [via water fountains].

not every1 can afford fiji/smart/vitamins/coconut water.

Fans want to 'create their own merch' instead of buying overpriced tshirts and tote bags.

Got this for free with my Sega Saturn when I was 10 and turned it into a rave necklace.

Definitely give this bro props for his Super Ninendo controller built in to his rave flair.

Zany Spongebob Bro. Wonder if it is still 'quirky' 2 'like Spongebob' of if that phase died in the 1990s.

Maybe lil Muppet Backpacks are a chill rave prop

Got really effed up. Had 2 throw up behind a dumpster

Also had to poop and pee thru my leggings

Luckily raves hire custodial staff to make sure everything is clean.

But still, gotta wear an electro gas mask to 'keep out' negative vibes / port o potty fumes / vomit fumes out of my nose

Wonder if there is a new genre of bros who work out just so their bodies look good at raves.

sup bro pt 2

sup bro pt 3

Who is more authentic 2 ravers, Deadmaus or Mickey Mou5e?

Worried about this lost clown bro

Wonder if she tore this shirt after putting it on, or if it was some premeditated slashing

Just want to go to a place with progressive thongs.

Do u want ur parents to drop u off at the rave after telling them it is a 'Late Night Soccer Tournament'?

Or do you want to use a rave as an opportunity to reconnect with ur mom after 'dropping E' together?

Not sure if this is a juggalo or a raver

Have you ever been 2 college? What was your college brand all about? Were you the ultimate college bro?

Sometimes I wonder if certain subcultures / genres of humans are a danger / threat 2 society. Like there is something ugly brewing inside of them, and eventually they will 'break free' and cause some sort of huge danger to other humans. At the very least, there will be tons of property damage, kinda like black people and the Los Angeles riots.

Going away to college seems like the ultimate opportunity to become a bro. Being away from parents. Eating at all-you-can-eat buffet style cafeterias. Getting 'shit faced' and experimenting with drugs. Living in a small room with some one who you love and hate at the same time. Having ultimate broments where you are 'nailing' a 'chick', and your bro is pleasuring himself from his bunk bed beneath you.

Being a college bro means 'fitting in' with a network of like-minded bros. But do you really get the love and affection that you need to remain happy? Does moving away from the parents you hate really 'free' you, or are you more 'trapped' than ever, forced to justify your life decisions? Does college prepare u for the real world, or does it cause people to slide into a surreal life where they stay in college for 6-10 years since they don't want to deal with society? Does it cause 20 year olds to go into too much debt since they are trying to 'perpetuate' a lifestyle for way 2 long.

Sort of just wish I could go to college, and have some sort of college bro convention. We would talk about modern issues that are relevant to the modern college bro, then have a 'sick rager' with tons of red cups. It would be kind of like a music festival held at an on-campus apartment complex.

Eventually, things would get out of hand, and we would throw all of our Scarface posters, campus-issued furnitures, and Dell Desktop computers into a massive bonfire. It would be sort of like a modern 'Animal House' except with more social commentary.

Eventually, I would emerge as the Lord of the Bros, giving a passionate speech while my skin roasted in the flames. College isn't about grades. It isn't about acquiring technical skills for a future job. It's about making meaningful connections with a series of bros. I didn't pay for a degree. I paid for an experience.

College Bros from all over the country would hear my voice, and use my advice to build a better network of college bros. We would be more than just bros getting drunk, sexting broads, and jerking off to internet porn. We would be a unified movement. We would start a facebook group, and our wall would be very active.

Even non-bros would be inspired, and work with us. They will stand up and declare, "Fuck society. This is our time. College can last forever if we want it to."

Eventually, the riot squad will be summoned, and society will try to 'hold us down.' The will be threatened by the College Bro utopia that we want to build.

Some of the bros will run and hide, scared that their parents will 'cut them off' if they go to jail. Some of us will fight. Some of us will fall. Taken down in a sea of red cups and crushed Keystone Light cans.

This bro is me. I have a dream. I had a dream. One day, America will remember me because the US Government will give every1 the 'day off' to celebrate me + my message of college bro equality.

I will beg and plead with them, yelling, 'Cmon bro' or even 'Not cool bro.' They simply don't understand me.

I am not looking for a girlfriend, but I want a girl who will fight for me. A girl who will 'please me in bed' but also 'stand up for me' in my time of need. Every college bro needs a fiery college skank who will drunkenly get arrested defending him.

We will go to jail. We will pay fines. It will be difficult for us to find jobs after college. But College Bro Day was worth it. Our cause. Our iconic images will live forever.

Are college bros a threat to society?
Is there some sort of untamed spirit inside of them that will lead to property damage?
Are college bros depressed on the inside?
Did you go to college and mature, or did you experience a version of the world that misrepresented post-college life, leaving u paralyzed an unable to assimilate into the real world?
Are college bros 'homosexually repressed', therefore 'violent'?
Did u live in a dorm or off campus?
Should America try to prevent the broification of college campuses, or is the process of broing down natural?
Have u ever been to a college party that 'got out of control'?
Did ur life fall apart in college?
Did u meet the best bros of ur life in college?
Should the US Government create more programs to prevent the broification of the American College & University System?

Rage, Rage
Against the Dying
of the bro

Photo by thecobrasnake

Hello. Would you like to try a new cutting edge energy drink? It comes with an authentic boost of natural energy, made from healthy things that come from the Earth like vitamins, vegetables, plants, and miscellaneous non-synthetic elements. You won't feel the same 'crash' that you feel when you consume other energy drinks.

I like my job. I'm good at it. We basically find events where 14-25 year olds are hanging out, then go there with our cooler truck, and encourage them to try our brand of drink. We are real marketers. We don't just sit back and pray that something goes viral on the internet. To really promote a brand, we have to take it to the people.  This is authentic marketing.  Roll up your sleeves and get to work.

Day after day.  Going to the warehouse.  Filling up the truck with ice + energy drinks.

Driving.  Flat screen TVs in the back of our car.  Wearing a polo shirt with the brand on it.  Casual cool business attire.  This is the good life.

People really get excited when our truck rolls around. We play some really fun tunes by relevant buzzbands, and our branded SUV turns into modern tailgate party , with people rallying around our brand.  It really becomes a mad house.  I am not sure if people are excited about our brand, or if they are just excited to get something for free.

The hardest part of the job is when minorities and greedy teens try to hoard our free product.  I wish they would understand that we are trying to promote the brand to as many people as possible.  We want to give you a sample, but we are not looking to give you a 1 month's supply of energy drink. Show a little bit of respect. Not just for me, but for urself.

You think this is an easy job? You're fucking wrong. What we do takes a high level awareness/understanding of marketing, human nature, and the local cultural event economy. Not every one can do what we do. Not every1 can hand out free drinks to strategic markets.

Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? No. But this is an important resume builder as I move up in the company, or take my knowledge to another company/brand.

Energy Drinks.  Brand Building. Letting consumers know that they can believe in our brand.

The road goes on forever
and the demand for energy in a can never ends.

*******
What is the most authentic type of energy drink?
Are energy drinks 'for ass holes'?
Do yall believe in grass roots marketing?
Have u ever had a job where u sat at a table and represented a brand?

In the year 2k9, many 'authentic' alts listened to the popular post-buzzbands 'the Animal Collective.' Many blogs and web pundits probably enjoyed discussing them more than they enjoyed their music. As yall know, 2k9 ended, and the slate of authenticity was wiped clean.

The clock struck midnight--it was a new year, and I didn't feel any different. I was sitting in my room, reading 'best of the decade' and 'best of 2k9' posts. A tear rolled down my face, since the prospect of the unknown year made me feel like Mel Gibson's death scene in Braveheart. I decided it was time to take the initiative and move on with my life. It was time to stop living in the past. It was time to let go of 2k9...

It was time to let go of AnCo.

"Letting Go of AnCo"
A Short Story
Presented by Carles

I had always been fascinated by the band dynamic within the popular buzzband Animal Collective. So many textures, it was difficult to know who was the true backbone of the band. Each member had an abstract role, and their plausible group creative process was so foreign to traditional creative types.

2k9 was probably the best year of my life. I had a great post-entrylev girlfriend who was a virgin b4 me, a great set of bros left over from the electro era, and most importantly, impeccable taste in music/life/the internet/humans/electronics/everything. Needless to say, Animal Collective was my band. The highlight of my year was when they came to town, and I huffed salvia with a group of friends, then waited at the front of the stage for 6 hours to be closest to the music.

But then everything fell apart. My group of friends started bickering, one of my bros got a beej-jay from GF in the back of a dive bar, and it seemed like the most inauthentic people & websites 'gave their two cents' on everything that I held near and dear. I was over it all. So. Effing. Over. It.

It was time to move on. A new decade. I had to isolate myself, and find something new to get into. I realized that in order to move on, I had to let go of the thing I thought was most important to me. The Collective of Animals.

I looked at a local alt blog, covering the Baltimore scene, and saw that the former member of Animal Collective, Josh Dibb AKA Deakin AKA Deacon was coming to town to play a live solo set.. Apparently he raised $25K from internet bros to enable him to travel to Africa to record some sweet field sounds, play a live show, then drop a 'sweet ass' EP. Needless to say, I was going to see Deacon 'before he got big.'

Before I got to the show, I had decided that I would like Deacon 'more than AnCo', but 'not as much as Panda Bear solo.'

Photo by Chrissy Abbott// Meme via Bmore music

I was surrounded with some of the most conceptual humans on the planet. Before the show started, I chatted with a few Animal Collective conspiracy theorists. We went over the usual theories about why Deakin 'left' the band. We confronted the usual 'cheating' with Avey/Panda's wife rumor, along with the standard 'heavy drug use' theory. We wondered if just didn't bring anything to the table, or did he bring TOO MUCH to the table? After many Beatles comparisons, and theorizing which member of AnCo would be assassinated first [via Johnny Lennon], we decided it was time to just relax, and enjoy the Deacon.

[MP3]
Deakin Live Deacon Bootleg
/////Rest of Bootleg Available at this bloggy.

The music reminded me so much of AnConian elements, but also was 'totally different.' It felt like 2k9 was over, like I finally heard a new sound that was 'worth blogging about.' I wondered what came first: the Anco or the Deak? I felt right at home in 2k9, watching Deakin on Stage turning knobs, and singing with zany voices into a microphone. It felt so familiar, but so, so different.

Then I started to feel lost. I started to say 'this music isn't really that good. it is just aesthetic matching. I just like stuff that sounds familiar, cuz it reminds me of my perfect life in 2k9.' I started to get angry, hearing soft arpeggios, attempting to suck me into a dream world. Chill drumbeats, pounding out a rhythm, tears rolling down my face.

Damn you Deacon.
It didn't have to be like this.
You just could have stayed in the band.
You just could have told us what was wrong. AnCo could have been 4 people. It's not fair. Everything would have been different. Everything could have been perfect. I just want to know why. I just want to know what happened. We cared about you as a human, and it's not fair how relevant AnCo got without u. Who knows what could have happened if you were still in the band.

But maybe things happen for a reason. Thanks Deacon. Your music finally made me realize that 2k10 is going to be okay. I am allowed to move on, forget about the past. Things will be okay. A steady supply of blog mp3 content, news, and memes will come. It doesn't matter who the band is, and it doesn't matter what it sounds like. We're all just trying to get 'mad press' together, get some mp3s download, and move some units to the Cool Dad/Altstream demographic. Let's just live, love, blog, download, learn.

I went home, and searched youtube for clips of the show to try to find myself in the crowd. Couldn't find anything. It was just time to go to sleep, and dream of downloading a sweet ass bootleg in the morning. I logged into twitter, and simply wrote 'gnite...nuff said', because it truly was enough said for once in my life since my exGF gave my by bro a beejay but then I had a meaningful nite at a concert and felt okay with life again and wrote a short story about it.

Nvr Forget.
2k10: The Year of the Deakin?

Deakin vs Panda Bear showdown in 2k10?
Will Avey Tare/Geologist meltdown/'lose interest' in playing 'the internet relevancy game'?
Is AnCo still a bloggable topic?
Is it time 2 'let go' of AnCo, or should we 'remember them 4evr'?
Is Deacon solo this year's 'neon indian'/'atlas sound'/'discovery'?

It's always weird when a band/famous person becomes an advocate for change, especially when they are 'raising awareness' for a problem that I wasn't really aware of. One could make the argument 'out of sight, out of mind' is a good thing. Like if you knew too much about the world's problems, then u might become paralyzed with fear/h8 for humanity, realizing that 'things would never change' and evil will always live on this planet. But it's also kinda good because if you know more 'issues', then you are more interesting.

I was 'completely unaware' that clubbing seals was a huge problem in our world. I have honestly never seen any1 wearing or eating seal. For some reason, I have 'never had a desire' to wear seal/miscellaneous exotic animal fur. It seems out of my price range, since I am just a suburban upper-middle class alt, and I would rather spend that kind of money on consumer technology instead of clothes. Maybe if Am Appy 'branded' animal fur, I would be interested.

Clubbing seals 'seems unchill.' Like some1 who listens to horrorcore music would be a seal clubbing bro.

I feel like 'seal clubbing bros' should be eliminated from the Earth. I am glad that I learned about this cause. I have an opinion about it, and I understand that is wrong, but I am not sure what else I can do to prevent companies and humans from clubbing seals. It seems unchill to skin animals just to wear them. Like the people who value animal fur are 'severely troubled' and have 'a very stupid perspective of the world'--like they didn't go to school and learn stuff. I think that some1 needs to make a movie about seals similar to 'March of the Penguins' so that people think that seals can have a group brand that is 'cute enough to save/care about.' It seems like humans care about cute animals.

Really just happy that AnCo 'made it.' Feel happy that a band from my range of tastes has ascended into 'activist relevancy.'

Can't believe AnCo is such a relevant celebrity. As famous as the homosexual blogger, Pedro Hilton.

Even larger than the star of the recent teen dramedy "She's All That."

AnCo can do as much change as the world for star of 'Laguna Beach Cribs', Brody Jenner.

I feel excited for AnCo. A lot of people think that AnCo 'is going to cross over.' They keep waiting to hear them on the mainstream radio. I feel like 'lending ur brand' to a PETA campaign seems like u have 'made it.' Like if Pitchfork had some sort of 'humanitarian ratings', this would probably be around a 9.6.

Celebrities Speak Out Against the Seal Slaughter.

'U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of fabrics.'
-Panda Bear, 2k9.8

'U can create all kinds of textures with all kinds of sounds.'
-Panda Bear, 2k4evr

Feel like my whole life make sense now that 'Animal Collective' has truly become 1 with the Animal Kingdom Collective of Real Animals.

Honestly feel sad/disturbed after watching seals being murdered. Will probably think of seals being clubbed every time I listen to AnCo from now on, even when the themes are happy. :-(

Vintage HRO post [via 2k8.1]
Remember the time Panda Bear and his wife designed hoodies?

Previous Animal Rights Posts
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/tag/animal-rights

all photos by the cobrasnake

You might remember a 'classic' HRO post from 2k8 entitled 'Rave or Die.'
Carles wrote:

Does any one else feel like RAVES are ‘authentic music festivals’? I feel like ‘music festivals’ should really just become drug-fueled parties where people dress in zany costumes and entrylevel alts attempt to find meaning by listening to music/dancing/’trying drugs 4 the first tyme.’

In the 2k9 edition of RAVE OR DIE, Carles will attempt to reconnect with 'the essence of Rave.' Who are these ppl/teens/Mexicalts in Southern California who attend raves? What do they want out of life? What personal brand are these 'ravers' attempting to implement?

As yall know, a rave is a gathering where ppl do a lot of drugs and listen to 'the shittest' kinds of techno/electro music. The women also kinda 'dress slutty.'

It seems like ppl are trying to 'return to their childhoodz' by utilizing images+products from youth [via bracelets, necklaces, other trinkets, and even backpacks.]

'I want 2 b a kid again.'

'Wish I had a backpack full of ecstasy.'

Feeling sad that the 'altbro' aesthetic has finally made its way to rave culture. The spirit of the electro altbro is dead.

I think that it means some1 is 'mad fucked up' when their pupils are dilated.

It seems like 'lollipops' are also a good prop to chill with at raves. Not sure if I'd get caramel apple pop or blow pop. Not sure which 1 would 'taste better' while on E/acids.

The DJ played some 'sick shit.' His DJ name was 'DJ 420 Bob Dank Schwag Marley Bro.'

Got rlly 'fucked up' on E and gave DJ 420 a 'beej.' Regret it kinda.

But srsly... have u ever fucked while on ecstasy? (they say u can never have an orgasm without it 4 the rest of ur life)

Have u ever grubbed a funnel cake while on ecstasy?

I used the rave as an opportunity to connect with my nuclear family. My mom was the person who taught me how to use drugs, so even though she is 'disabled' I was able to bring her out and we 'dropped' 2gether. They say u don't have a relationship with ur parent until u've 'gotten fucked up' with him/her.

Photo via BallDon'tLie

It's kinda weird how we're all 'witnesses' 2 marketing, and we are impacted by the stuff that is around us. I noticed this bro from Cleveland Ohio who had actually 'converted his garage' into some sort of tribute to his favourite African American athlete in the world, an NBA basketball player named LeBron James who plays in the same city. It seemed weird 2 me, mainly because sports don't really mean anything, and I thought every1 realized that sports is just some sort of intense marketing + branding experiment for males.

Sorta wonder 'why' this bro felt moved to convince his parents to let him turn their garage + old ppl convertible into a LeBron James Tribute Zone. I understand 'being a fan' since I am theoretically a 'fan' of a bunch of indie bands, but I feel like this would be the equivalent of painting ur car to match the Merriweather Post Pavvy cover. It seems 'extreme', like instead of living ur life, you are getting too emotionally attached to the characters + brands that 'sports' create.

I am not sure why LeBron James would 'inspire him' to architecturally alter his property. From what I understand, LeBron James thinks that he is a 'chosen one' when it comes to life. Maybe he 'convinced every1 in Cleveland' that he is some sort of God. (seems like a tattoo that only 'an ass hole' would get/only 1-4 people in the world are 'actually qualified to receive').

I am not sure if this tattoo means that he thinks he is 'better than every1 else at everything' or just at basketball. From what I understand, LBron has not won an NBA Championship and Michael Jordan won 6 of them. Kinda feel like that makes Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods and Lance Armstrong's brands 'legit', since they 'won stuff.' Seems like Nike possibly 'jumped the gun' on branding LeBron James, or perhaps he is the only athlete 'simple enough' to go along with an 'over-the-top' campaign in our modern world where people feel 'shitty' after seeing some1 rub their greatness in ur face.

I feel like the entity 'LeBron James' is some sort of propaganda to save the psyche of people who live in Ohio. From what I understand, living in Ohio is 'a very depressing experience', since u are 'trapped in ur life. I feel like Nike probably recognized the opportunity to 'trick the people of Ohio' into thinking that their life would be improved if LeBron James won more basketball games.

This billboard seems 'insane.' I feel like I would understand why some1 had a 'warped sense of self/the world' if they 'green lit' this sort of billboard.

Nike understood that it was important to reach the white t(w)een bros, and lure them with the 'opportunity to co-brand with 'greatness.'

I am an advocate of children participating in sports/following a favourite team for a 'sense of belonging.' It seems way more healthy than letting your tween 'get into the Disney brand'/Jonas Brothers/Twilight books/etc. The spirit of 'sports' seems positive 'on the field', but I am scared of 'how warped shit can get' when it comes to uppermiddle class male teen bros who 'think that they are the shit.'

Worried that these types of bros are the ones who 'actually fall for sports marketing campaigns.'

Nike even paid Warren Buffet to be a 'witness' to this marketing scheme.

Seems like important African American artists who white ppl think are 'kewl' even participated in this whole 'witness' marketing gimmick. [via Kanye Meme]

Damn. Worried about athletes/rappers/African Americans/Nike and how they brand 'greatness.' I feel like the 'zeitgeist of greatness' is something that white males are pretty into, but I am not sure if it is a healthy concept to explore before a male is truly mature enough to understand his place in the world.

TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' pride themselves' in having the latest expensive shoes.
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' are never 'team players.'
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' often have bad fathers who are not grounded in reality.
TeenBros who believe that they are 'great' often reach their physical peak during their sophomore year in high school, then go to a subpar university in order to 'continue playing their fave sport' and major in some field that they honestly believe will 'enable them to stay close to the game that they love', including 'sports medicine', 'sports business' and 'sports marketing.'
If my son is a sports bro, I will monitor the influence of marketing on his psyche. Mainstream Teens are impressionable too.

I don't want my son to evolve into a TeenBro who thinks he is 'great.' I just want him to be happy 4 the right reasons, even if that means he 'plays in the High School Jazz Band'/a local ska band (maybe not).

Should I convince my parents to convert my garage into a tribute 2 ______________?

This post is intended to appeal to the sportsbro and post-teensportsbro demographic.

Photo via thecobrasnake

I saw this picture portraying a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk. Unfortunately, he had a pee pee accident as his dark yellow urine streamed down towards the star of a celebrity. I felt tons of emotions as my brain processed this digital image. Shame. Guilt. LOLability. Snarkfactor. Sadness. AmericanBeauty. Happiness. Loneliness. Fucksocietivity. Bloggy. Alive. Dead on the inside. Alone. Without a home. Metaphorical. This is the power of photography. A simple man who peed his pants in his sleep [via no home] can say so much about humanity, society, and the struggle 2 create a better life for urself.

The sad/beautiful image of the homeless man made me think of a recent post on the globally acclaimed streetfashion blog 'the Sartorialist' in which the photoblogger posted a picture of a coloured homeless man, then wrote an 'inspiring blurb'.

Photo and blurb by the Sartorialist:

I don't usually shoot homeless people. I don't find it romantic or appealing like a lot of street photographers, and if you asked homeless people they are probably not to happy about their situation either. That's why I was surprised to be so drawn to taking a picture of this gentleman.

I was being interviewed for an article in British Vogue; and while we walked down Bowery back in April I barely stopped walking when I took the shot. Fiona Golfar, the writer, asked why I took the photo. At that moment I couldn't really explain - but I just had a feeling about the power and grace of how he was sitting there. It wasn't until later that night when I was working on the image that I realized why I had noticed this man.

Usually people in this man's position have given up hope. Maybe this gentleman has too, I don't know, but he hasn't given up his sense of self or his sense of expressing something about himself to the world. In my quick shot I had noticed his pale blue boots, what I hadn't noticed at first were the matching blue socks, blue trimmed gloves, and blue framed glasses. This shot isn't about fashion - but about someone who, while down on his luck, hasn't lost his need to communicate and express himself through style.

Looking at him dressed like this makes me feel that in some way he hasn't given in or given up.

Damn. The bloggerbro's inspirational blurb is actually kinda true... It's like even though you might be the poorest, most worthless, homeless guy in the world, it doesn't mean that u can't have a little bit of pride 2 make sure that your clothes match. Never give up. Every day, u have the opportunity to brand yourself--you have the opportunity to let the world know that you are a person, and within this person is a brand which the whole world can consume.

Homelessness is not a disease--homelessness is the product of a group of people who have no pride. A group of people who don't play by society's rules. A group of people living in some demented reality, no longer in touch with the availability of legitimate intrinsic rewards through the power of 'creating.your.own.image.' We must inspire the homeless so that they can inspire us to do more than to take artsy pix of them. It is easy for photographers to take pictures of homeless people because they usually look 'insane', 'urban', and as if society has shat upon them.

A lot of people say that homeless people should 'get a fucking job'--now I firmly believe that they would get a job if they dressed nicely, and treated people with respect. It seems like they could some how get a job at an investment bank, or perhaps a McDonalds, similar to the plotline of the popular Will Smith joint 'The Pursuit of Happyness.'

After reading that inspired blurb, it sort of makes me want to tell this guy to 'get his shit together', and 'have a little bit of pride.' U can't go around pissing on urself and wearing lame ass clothes if you really want to turn ur life around.

It doesn't matter if you can't control your bladder, or if you are mentally challenged, or if you are having 'terrible flashback dreams.' Every day, you need to take pride in yourself. You need to realize that your personal brand is being interpreted by every1 who sees you. Do you want to depress your viewers? Or do you want to inspire them? Be a valuable person--not just to yourself, but also to society as a whole.

This is a blog post about hope.

As yall know, tons of alternative people have recently purchased hybrids and started 2 ride bikes in an effort to 'go green.' It seems like they don't realize that they are still 'fucking corporate sellouts' because they are still supporting multibillion dollar companies. I feel like there will be a new wave of activism called 'The Green Animal Rights Movement' that will mix 'going green' with fairly utilizing animals as a method of transportation.

It seems like owning a horse might declare 2 the world that u r an individual who 'truly understands' that the world is an ecosystem, and we need to start relying more on other humans and animals. I feel like a lot of indie aesthetics sort of allude towards 'going back 2 the wilderness.' Seems like horses might be the way to get there. Most people think that they should be 'worshiped' for 'going green' but they don't realize that they are just 'adapting 2 the evils of modern society.' Truly alternative people will find a way to break free from society.

Feel sad that most of my bros just bought their first Priuses with their first job's salary. As if they are 'saving the world' but also trying to cryptically 'look rich.' Kinda weird when people who 'used to buy BMWs' start 2 buy hybrids 2 seem like they 'care about the environment.

I feel like a middle aged man driving a Prius is the tween equivalent of an entry level alt wearing an Am Appy headband.

Sorta just want to get a 'keut alt GF' and ride in2 the sunset. Maybe we won't move 2 Paris, but maybe we can move to a rural area in America and buy a lil farm or something? Maybe life is just abt lowered expectations.

Not sure what sort of facilities you need to own a horse, or if there are any 'traffic laws' for horseback riding within the city. I feel like riding a horse might be more authentic than 'riding the subway' since so many people on the subway don't even realize the beauty of public transportation--sometimes it degenerates into a celebration of 'being stuck in ur life.'

Still kinda sad that Barbaro was executed. Miss him like I miss Heath.

Do yall know of any good animals 2 ride?
How do u transcend society on a daily basis?
Do u shop at Whole Foods?

Photo by the cobrasnake

I saw you walk by me. You pretended not to see me so that you didn't have to talk to me. I understand. I hate having to deal with you, as well. Sometimes I half-heartedly make a pitch, attempting to sell you phone service/Direct TV/TimeWarnerCable/any other sort of service that you are not interested in. It fails 99% of the time. People run away from me. I am trying to sell you something. This is my job.

You are not interested in listening to me. I am just a bro, sitting at a table, wearing a polo shirt that is branded with my company. My job does not pay well. I am paid [via commission]. I have made 2 sales in 6 months.

Do u want to sign up? It's really a great service. I could tell you all about it. Are you interested in listening to me? You are not interested in me, nor are you interested in the product I represent. You are already satisfied with your service.

Maybe if I look 'pathetic' enough, you will sign up, after feeling bad for me. I am not sure if members of the opposite sex find me to 'not be very attractive' since I look like a 'tool.' Just want you to feel guilty. You did not come to this location to sign up for my company's service--you came for an entirely different reason. There is no way you will purchase this service from me.

I am a bro. I lurk around a table for my company, trying to increase sales + brand awareness. My regional manager sends me to the worst locations. She is always pressuring me to 'talk to more people.' She doesn't understand. I will never make a sale at the places she sends me to. I am embarrassed. I hope that no1 I know sees me. Wearing this stupid polo shirt. I will pretend to 'text' the entire time I am here. I will look disinterested and unapproachable. Some1 will come up to me who already has our cable service, and ask us why their ESPN channel is 'blurry.' I will tell them to contact technical support. This is my only contribution to the company today.

I am an adult. It seems like I always thought I would have a better job than this when I grew up. I will convince myself that I am 'starting at ground 0', and 'moving up the corporate ladder.'

I am a bro.
Sitting at a table
making a difference
Representing a brand.

Do u want 2 sign up for Comcast/Time Warner/tMobile/Sprint/a credit card with a 'generous' 'rewards program'?

I am sitting at a table.
This is my job.
I am going to send another text message.

This is me 2 hours later.

In 2 minutes I will close. I am about to close up for the day and go home. I will stop at Quizno's and get a sandwich.

This is me tomorrow. I am sitting at a table. I carry around the branded table cloth in my car.

I am employed. This bro is me. Do you want to sign up? You will receive a seat cushion if you sign up.

How about if I just give you this informational handout and my business card, and you can call me if you're interested.

Do you want to sign up?

Please do me a favor and just don't make eye contact if you're not interested in signing up.

I am a vessel of brand awareness. My personal brand has been outsourced.

Photo via lastnitespartie

As yall know, I recently graduated from a state university with a degree in communications and a Public Relations minor. I applied to several large firms within my industry, but they told me I needed more work experience, and tons of human-2-human interaction. I applied for a position in the Marketing + Branding department of Chili's, but they told me I needed to start 'from the ground up' within their corporate hierarchy.

I became a hostess at an upscale Chili's brand which they are beta testing in several U.S. markets. I work at one in Phoenix (Scottsdale), Arizona. Being a hostess here is amazing...even the uniform is a little bit stylish. I have met tons of amazing people. This Chili's is great because we don't serve food to the poors. We are looking to be a place where business men can wine and dine their mistresses, and seem 'rich' while still eating variations of our original Chili's menu.

I've made some of my best friends at my job, so we're able to pre-party while we work, then go out and get mad crunk afterwards. Sometimes it sucks when men tell us that we smell like hamburger meat and fried foods, but I think after a while, they start 2 like it. Our bartender is sooo sweet, and always makes us the best fruity drink remixes.

Our signature dish

Ultimately, my job as a Chili's hostess has been a positive experience, and I believe that I am using my degree to its full potential. I am really becoming an ambassador of the Chili's brand. I love the girls at my job, and one of the most positive parts of our job is that we have an iMac computer to share at the hostess station. We get to huddle around, and look at facebook/myspace messages, and comment on which men look 'hot' and which men are 'ugly.' I couldn't ask for a better group of girls--not catty like other bitches.

I am looking forward to my career. I don't wanna make a ton of money--I just want to be happy, and that just means socializing with people who look like me, getting buzzed, hooking up, and talking about life/drama. Sorta like The Hills, except in real life, u can't get glamorous jobs like those girls. Just have to do the best with what you've got, party, and travel to party spots around the world (Mexico) for ur vacay.

Previous Misogynistic Coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2009/01/i-am-planning-a-girls-night-out-with-a-group-of-my-closest-girl-friends.html

This is a post about the Beatles 'selling out' and licensing a videogame.

I remember when I was young, my parents were the people who taught me about good music. Unlike most people, my parents 'actually listened to good music.' That's why I still like good independent music today, because it sounds like old stuff that has timeless pop sensibilities. I feel excited to reconnect with this iconic band+my parents. Think it will bring us closer 2gether somehow. Might even make them a mix CD of 'stuff I listen 2.' Might make them listen to Panda Bear since they liked the Beach Boys.

I recently discovered the game ROCK BAND when I was walking down the hallway of my dormitory floor. I saw a group of bros with the door open 'having a great time' playing original music. But then I realized they weren't actually creating the music themselves, it was actually a 'sweet ass game' where u pressed buttons along with a kewl guitar rock song. I tried to play it, but I wasn't very good because I had never heard the Nickelbacks/RageAgainstheMachines b4.

Hopefully I can 'practice more' with this game since if I buy it, it will mean that I 'care about music' and 'history' and that I like to have fun and listen to kewl music from any generation. Definitely going to buy THE BEATLES: ROCK BAND video game.

Maybe this is why our parents loved the Beatles so much. Maybe they knew that their songs would last 4ever, eventually ending up in some 'sweet ass' video game that 'doesn't promote musicianship', 'the spirit of music', but primarily highlights the fact that bands are 'brands' which 'create art' that can be protected and licensed out whenever u need some more money.

Feel jealous of bands with megabrands. Feel like they just need 1.5 memorable albums, then can just 'cash it in' 4ever or something. Feel like it's hard for young people to 'authentically enjoy music' because we enjoy aligning ourselves' with brands and criticism more than any of the 'more organic' elements of music. I don't think that is 'a bad thing' but feel like it turns good artists into a 'hokey experience' when 'too many ppl start 2 suck their dicks.' Like a concert will become a high priced show where people 'act the way that they think they are supposed to act.'

I feel sad that John Lennon isn't alive to 'greenlight this shit.' Feel like he had a lot of brand integrity, and would have said 'fuck no.'

Can't believe this is the band that our parents loved. They seem 'really video gamey' to me. Like a crappy band from the popular internet sensation SECOND LIFE/the Sims/World of Warcraft. Not even sure if I like the Beatles after hearing them for the first time [via this video game].

Does n e 1 know the difference between 'Guitar Hero' and 'Rock Band'? They both seem 2 be branded '4 fucking losers.'

Do yall think that Sir Paul McCartney is 'rolling around in his grave'?
Do u think that they will have songs from when the Beatles 'did a lot of drugs'?
Will u get to fingerbang Yoko Ono with a drumstick/guitar fret, or something?
Will u get 2 divorce Heather Mills?
Will u get 2 fire Ringo Starr?
Is WINGS better than The Beatles?
Do u think they will ever have a bloghouse guitar hero/rockband? I feel like there is most likely to be an 'indie' one with a bunch of Arcade Fire / Interpol /Of Montreal type of stuff.
Do u think that these music games are 'fucking ghey'?
Are video games the only way for musicians to make money nowadays now that no1 buys music/cds/mp3s?
Would u rather 'jerk off' for 3 hours than 'get good at playing fake instruments'?
Do u wish u could have been in a good band back when memes weren't distributed on the internet, therefore making every band-related-meme seem 'larger than life'?

Sort of think that the sports Guitar Hero ad was better, since it featured 4 athletes who 'I can relate 2'. All 4 bros trying to 'seem normal', but it is 'very impossible' for them to do since they aren't humans--they are megabrands.

Kobe Bryant - a guy with a contrived personality, and a hollow interior.
Michael Phelps - a bro who loves to smoke and fuck bitches with huge titties
Alex Rodriguez - a bro who wanted to 'move to NYC' and then took steroids to be the greatest of all time.
Tony Hawk - a cool dad who just wants to chill and extend his xtreme skateboarding brand

Just want 2 be great enough to have a brand that lasts for 20-50 years, and then have some sort of 'blasphemous' tribute that signifies that my brand is still identifiable/marketable even though new technologies have changed the world and the way that people consume my brand.

I want to 'sell out' in modern ways.

I felt scared after watching this video. Like there is something 'seriously wrong' with Lady Gaga. I feel scared of her, and the world that she lives in. I think she would be creepy and uncomfortable to be around. She reminds me of when some1 who is 'poor and stupid' tries to act 'rich and educated' based on some cliche from a movie that stars British people who are 'proper and assertive.'

I think she thinks that she is a 'transcendent artist' or something. She seems like a weird woman, or something. I think that there is 'seriously something wrong with her.' I feel like I 'get' art, and she probably thinks she 'gets' life/art, but I feel like my version of reality is more accurate than hers. I feel worried and concerned about her. I feel like if she wasn't famous, she would be some sort of prostitute who 'gets gangbanged' and tells herself that she is 'a free spirit' who 'needs to satisfy her desires that don't fit in with society.'

I feel worried about Gaga 'getting older.' I am not sure if she will be able to 'handle it.' I think she will 'fuck a bunch of young guys' to feel young. I think she will be on VH1 shows or something and still 'act retarded.' I feel like she is 'very ugly' and will only 'get uglier' as time goes on. Think that she will have some sort of facial surgery within 3 years.

Do yall know if camel toes are authentic and prove that ur in touch with nature/sexuality?

I had always been the smartest kid in the class, making good grades, considered a 'funny' person, and always generally likable. High school went well, and of course I went to a good college. I decided on a major that was pretty functional (more so than a person who focuses on studying something creative), knowing that it would help me to get a job after college. So much debt...hehe, but of course everything will always be okay.

I feel like I have always considered myself to be 'sort of special', not just because of supportive parents, but also because of my psychological fortitude. I feel like I 'understand' the way the world/people work as a system, and I always feel like I am able to make good decisions. I don't think that I have ever really had a 'legitimate challenge' in my life, but I feel like I have simulated enough 'real challenges' to pretty much 'get through any thing.'

This is a post about how to find urself/lose urself [via ur career].

Nervous about becoming a father. Not sure how to 'get ready.' Just want my lifestyle to stay the same, even though I have a child. I think I might just buy the kewlest shit for kids and stuff. Hopefully if I invest enough money in useful, high end conceptual babie products, the rest will 'take care of itself.'

Should I get some sort of 'kewl looking sling' that brands me with my babie?

Meme via babygadget

Might get worried about my wife's back if she wears it for more than 10 hours per day.

Glad it comes with a 'male template' so that I can still chill in my aviators.

Might just get naked in an edgy movie about bros starting FIGHT CLUBS, and then become a mom and buy a free-spirited bicycle that is meant for hauling humans around. Want my kids to never have to suffer by riding in a car.

Photo via Jezebel

(Might also start a late night business with this contraption.

I will participate in quirky art projects that bring me closer 2 my wife during her pregnancy.
</embed>
We will show this video to our son/daughter instead of 'explaining how sex works.'

Yall... I'm nervous... does n e 1 have n e parenting tips, ideas, products, or literature that will make my life easier?

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
-The Creeds

Yall. Don't u h8 when u think something is 'beautiful', then u find out that it it being used 2 sell u something? That's what happened 2 me when I saw this picture.

Initially, I thought that it was a beautiful picture that was about 'ending racism', celebrating 2 beautiful people coming together as 1 [via interracial couple]. But then I found out that it is an advertisement for a tennis shoe/ strip club / slice of white ass. Sad that the tennis shoe isn't featured in the picture.

'ugh'. Think that sometimes I assume that everything Kanye West makes is 'beautiful art' and don't realize that he is actually just 'trying to make money', or what rappers call 'hustling.'

Feel manipulated. It's kinda like when I see a beautiful logo that I would consider getting as a tattoo, but then I realize that it is part of a global brand. Thought I was gonna get this tattoo, but then I realized it belonged to CHILI's.

(Fortunately, I found out that it is a kick ass restaurant.)

In my digital art class, I actually made a symbol that looked like the 'Nike Swoosh' without even ever seeing it. I thought it was beautiful, but then my classmates accused me of 'ripping off Nike' and wondering 'how could u have never seen the Nike logo b4?'

Feel dumb when art = advertising, and I appreciate it too much when it I thought I was just admiring something beautiful.

But I did like the recent Am Appy custom Woody Allen campaign. Feel like it really went viral.

wish websites had 'billboards.' Think 'billboards' might be the most authentic artistic medium.

Felt sad when I read that famous street graffiti artist Banksy was actually hired by a Coalition of the Eastern world to spread anti-American messages [via internet viral campaign].

Does n e 1 know where I can get an advertising/marketing internship?

Does n e 1 else know how difficult it is to write an autobiography? Is it basically like a 'blog', except printed on paper? I've been through a lot, and I just feel like people could rlly learn from me. My life has had lots of ups, downs, and miscellaneous 'trials and tribulations.'

I feel like the most interesting years of my life were probably age 11-16, just cuz there was a lot of uncertainty...What kind of car would I drive? ... Would I lose my virginity b4 it was too late? ... Would my parents' marriage last through my tween ages? Just want to write stories of my life that appeal 2 a lot of ppl.

I'm thinking about starting a service that can convert a person's online social networks into a book. For example, photos from ur flickr account, status updates from twitter, tagged FB photos, and posts from your blog/old live journal are aggregated into a meaningful book. Then I could give a copy of the book to my parents to show them how meaningful my life has been, since they haven't been able 2 follow me on a day-to-day basis for s0 many years.

But srsly yall... sometimes it is hard 4 me to relate to 'celebrities', 'politicians', and 'athletes' who 'write' autobiographies. I know that their stories are supposed to inspire me, but I just start to get jealous that they are more talented/famous than me. The world feels 'absurd' and 'random' and maybe even 'unfair.' They make it seem like they 'rose above' adversity to achieve greatness. It's hard 4 me to identify with 'greatness' or 'escaping from the wrong side of the tracks' because I am neither GREAT, nor do I come from a home on the poor side of town.

Feel like my autobiography might not 'inspire' people, but it would still be meaningful 2 me. Might start a rough draft of it in Microsoft Word. Might have to hire a famous writer to 'ghost write' since I got a really low score on the SAT. Might use a blogger to 'ghost write' since they are more talented than mainstream journalists.

Excited about the 'Carles Chronicles.'

'live yalls life' - T.I. ft Rihanna

Memehijack via Swissmiss by Justin David Cox

Yall. Was just browsing the internet and saw this flyer thing. Does n e 1 know if Cut Copy has a new album coming out? Did they create a flyer to promote their upcoming album IN GHOST COLOURS? Kinda confused. I h8 the internet because nothing has an authentic context. u just kinda have 2 guess what everything means. The internet would be better if there was some sort of unified wikipedia tagging system that gave everything a bit more 'meaning'/'context.'

Does any one know what the key on the bottom left corner is? My Dell desktop keyboard has a "C" and a "V" key, but there isn't one with that weird symbol on it. Might have to get a USB keyboard attachment or download a 'weird characters' app. I hope that some1 makes an 'app store' for PCs. Personal Computers could use some of the functionality that iPhones have. Does n e 1 else agree/want to start a 'startup' with me?

I have a lot of ideas about technology and user experiences, but need to go to technical college to be able to execute them. Might regret going down the 'design school' route. :-(

Cut Copy

Buzzband

Timeless Australian electro band Cut Copy

Lists: Members of Cut Copy, Australians, 2k11 buzzbands

Read more>>>>

[lastnitesparty]
I don't know much about Yoko Ono. I just know that she 'broke up the Beatles' and that she paid for the assassination of John Lennon. (Whenever a celeb is killed, it is an 'assassination', right?) I just know that Yoko Ono is 'artsy' and 'modern.' Whenever I see an older female AZN who has an alternative aesthetic, I can't help but think about Yoko Ono. She was so conceptual, and so 'high fashion.' She rlly branded the 'over the hill' altAzn, since she always looked 'over the hill.' Don't think she cared about 'physical appearance' and turned John Lennon into some sort of Artsy Bro.

Lots of times I'll see younger AZN females. And I wonder what will happen 2 them as they start 2 age. Will they stay 'kute and AZN' forever, or will they slowly but surely turn into a Yoko OnAlt? I guess time will tell, yall. Kinda worried about 'aging' and not looking 'youthful' and 'relevant' n e more. Might have to buy some Proactiv, or a different anti-aging cream.

Sometimes I wish I could be in a relationship with some1 who is as conceptually developed as me. I just feel like only another artist could 'get' me, or maybe another blggr.

Does n e 1 still listen 2 'the beatles' or is it inauthentic to have a LET IT BE tshirt?

I want so badly to believe that there is truth that AZN is real.
I want so badly to believe that there is truth that <3 is real.
I want so badly to believe that there is truth that ______ is real.

I didn't read about 'why' Uffie was naked and her boyfriendArtBro was doodling her, but it seemed bloggable. But then I got all sad cuz I don't want my blog to be aligned with n00dz+electro any more. Kinda want to make it more like a 'communal room where bros turn on lava lamps and listen to AnCo/incubus.'

[meme via hypebeast/ID magazine]

I remember back in 2k7/k8, Uffie would always 'show off her nips' and it would be s000 bloggable. Kinda ashamed of who I was back then. I thought it was funnie that I kept blggng about her, even though she has only really made like 2.5 songs. It was a 'funnie joke' since she just kinda parties and pretends 2 be a musician. but now I actually hold my altcelebs and musicians accountable for progressive our art economy.

In 2k9, now that we are closer to bringing authentic art/artists to the mainstream, I will no longer honor memes like this. It's time to 'grow up' and put Ed Banger behind us, yall. U have 2 realize that when u go to a Justice concert, u r perpetuating consumerist bullshit. It's just the next trend that pokemones/mexicAlts are going to worship. (not sure if ppl already stopped following Ed Banger memes+artists in 2k5)

Yall need to worship that it is 'okay to like music' for any reason, but it is also 'okay to resent music that u used 2 allegedly like and shun that era of ur life, completely invalidating who U were during that time.'

We need to grow up.
We need to come up with a global rubric for what constitutes 'art.'
We need international blogging guidelines for 'what memes are bloggable.'
We need viral containment standards.
We need to look in the mirror
and realize that we will not last forever (our lives')
and do more to chill hard
without thinking about
why we like what we like
and follow what we follow.

(do yall know what female artists will be big in 2k9? Maybe that girl who wrote that song about how she's not gonna write u a love song (u say I only hear what I want 2)?)
What should HRO be about in 2k9? what gimmicks can yall see emerging?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

Lists: it girls, slutwave, QTs, indie songstresses

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