Celebrity | Hipster Runoff

Celebrity

St. Vincent spotted canoodling with David Byrne at VIP Dinner Party @ White House


David Byrne is the lead singer of the Talking Heads, or Devo, or Pavement or some band like that. I'm not really sure. Anyways, he was invited to Barry Obama's VIP White House Correspondents' Dinner. He decided to take indie sex icon St. Vincent with him as his d8. It seems like 'love is in the air', as they are canoodling quite close. Unfortunately, Annie Clark is 'too alt' to be recognized by mainstream photo service.

I know that a lot of ppl will probably be like "They are JUST FRIENDS and COLLEAGUES... They are NOT canoodling." But trust me. I know how bros work, no matter what age u r.... If u invite a female somewhere, ur trying to canoodle with her. It doesn't matter if ur 'just friends'... at the end of the nite.... Ur gonna take ur chances.

Oh Annie Clark... Sometimes I still think abt u...
But I hope u finally write a 'poppy', Feist-wave album
instead of trying to be all artsy...
Ur keut enough to sell albums 2 mainstreamers, bb!

Do they make a keut couple?
Is St. Vincent still a top-tier indie female, or has she not released anything buzzworthy recently enough?
Should St. Vincent just become 'the 4th altbaguette in the Dirty Projectors'?
Has the Tune-Yards broad 'beaten St Vincent at her own game'?
Is David Byrne an 'authentic alt'?
Do u think they're gonna 'make it'?
Is the White House Correspondents' dinner t00tally funnniiee [via the Colbert Daily Report Show]?

St. Vincent

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

St. Vincent is Annie Clark. She plays the guitar and writes deep songs that go on for a really long time.

Read more>>>>

Some magazine puts Aziz Ansari on the cover, writes 'profile piece' abt his awesome life


Aziz Ansari is sorta like the 'Conan O'Brien of alt'... His stock was 'hot', but now he is sorta just on cruise control and every1 tells him how much they <3 him on social media. I have never watched Parks and Recreation but I am sure it is funny enough to lose to cop-thrillers and sci-fi shows on a weekly basis. Aziz Ansari has been seen at many VIP alt events, such as SXSW, Coachelly, and LCD Soundsystem's final show.

Anyways, some magazine called "Paper Mag" put Aziz Ansari on the cover of their blog magazine. I don't know if they sell copies or anything. If I were Aziz Ansari, I probably would have worked hard to become the #1 comedian in the world, then waited for a symbolic 'I've Made It' Rolling Stone cover, representing his comedy brand 'crossing over' in2 the Mainstream.

Here is a paragraph about 'how cool' he is:

In real life, though, you get the sense that Ansari's attempting to be -- and succeeding at being -- actually cool. A joke-friendship with rapper West, once fodder for his stand-up, appears to have evolved into an actual friendship -- though when asked to talk about it he declines to comment. He pals around town with James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem and TV on the Radio's Dave Sitek. Last year, he interviewed Animal Collective for The Fader. In addition to Band of Outsiders, he's a fan of other hipster-approved fashion lines like Patrik Ervell and Thom Browne. Ansari is also a serious foodie; Momofuku's David Chang is one of his good friends, and he can't get over how amazing ABC Kitchen was, where he ate the night before our interview. "Vegetables that are really fresh like that are so good. Like, if you eat a really good tomato, it's really good." He frequently uses Twitter to outsource restaurant recs, and to extol the joys of eating delicious food -- fish tacos and burritos in particular. In other words, his life sort of resembles the New York magazine Approval Matrix.

R u jealous of his life?
Does he seem like one of the most relevant ppl ever?
Has he 'made it' or can he still get 'more fans'?
Do u wish u got to bronoodle with tons of relevant alternative celebrities?
Will he 'make it' as a comedian, or will he eventually just end up being the 3rd lead on a moderately successful sitcom?
Can he write 'the next Seinfeld'?

Aziz Ansari

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Aziz Ansari is an indie comic who is often associated wit the hit show 'Parks and Recreation' or the now defunct MTV show 'Human Giant.'

Read more>>>>

Chloe Sevigny shows off her alt pout. (And see-thru shirt.)


Chloe Sevigny is an alt indie sex icon, starring in indie films, being an inspirational alt figure, and an 'it girl'... She sets trends 4 alt women all around the world, serving as an inspiration 4 altness. Also she has a keut pout face.

Look at her pouting.

That is one helluva pout.
Dear Lord
What a complex face
It seems 'dark', 'enigmatic', and 'beautiful'

I might never smile again
just gonna pout like Chloe
Backless dress

Do u <3 her pout?
Do u <3 girls who pout, or girls who 'smile'?
Is 'smiling' 4 entry levelers?
Who is the #1 pouter in the world?
Is Chloe Sevigny 'the alt-est woman alive'? Should she date a young buzzband to get more modern alt-cred?
Remember the time she made love to Hillary Swank's plastic peen in that 1 movie?

Chloe Sevigny

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Entrepreneur

Chloe Sevigny is an alternative actress and model. She is famous for 'being alt hot' and giving Vincent Gallo a BJ on camera.

Read more>>>>

Sexi Lexi Krauss keeps wearing the Sleigh Bells 23 jersey on-stage to increase merch sales


Hi Sexi Lexi...
How've u been...?
First of all, let me be the first to say...
U look good, bb!

Moving on...
What's the deal with the BELLS 23 jersey?
Why r u still wearing it?
I thought it was just a Coachella meme...

BB u shouldn't wear it every nite
Ppl might think that ur 'trying too hard' to sell ur merch
Would Vicki LeGrand wear a 'Beach House' t-shirt every gig?
Would Alice Glass wear a Crystal Castles sports bra every nite?

U have a GREAT BOD
and rlly sexi fashion sense...
I know u want to show off ur sleeve tat...
but u need to 'mix it up', bb!

I'm not saying u don't look good...
I'm just saying I care abt ur brand.
BRB I gotta hit the merch table

When will we see alts wearing the Sleigh Bells jersey?
Do u <3 or h8 the Sleigh Bells mp3 music?
Is Alexis Krauss a 'top tier' female alt celeb?
Do u think that she is secretly 'darker' than Salem [via snuff film collection]?
Is she ruining her brand by meme-ing the jersey too hard, or do u think the band has seen a 400% increase in jersey sales when she wears the jersey on stage?

Eff 1, kill 1, marry 1: Alexis Krauss, Bethany Cosentino, Kickball Katy..

Alexis Krauss

Alternative Celebrity

Alexis Krauss is the lead singer of Sleigh Bells. She has a Virgin Mary Tattoo.

Lists: tattooed, QTs, bangs
Read more>>>>

Sleigh Bells

Buzzband

Sleigh Bells is a 2k10 buzzband that doesn't really make 'good' mp3s, but still gets a lot of buzz and sells a lot of albums.

Read more>>>>

Aziz Ansari exploits his alt fame, goes 2 a VIP 'gifting session' to obtain 'free swag'


One of the perks that many non-VIP humans are not aware of are 'gifting sessions', which is where HIGH LEVEL brands who are trying to reach tastemakers and influencers 'gift' you some of their branded material, because you are a buzzworthy influencer. These usually happen at relevant events like SXSW, Coachelly, or any other place where alts/influencers are gathering. Whether it is 'clothes', 'sunglasses', 'gimmicky technology', or anything that you might tweet about/wear in a photo shoot, being 'relevant' means 'getting gifted.'

In this picture, you see Aziz Ansari 'heisting' a gifting session. He really has the face of 'look at all this free shit I got, yall! I <3 being a famous alt celeb!' As a relevant person who have gone thru his fair share of gifting sessions, u sorta wonder if 'gifting' is authentic, and if it is 'right'... Is ur brand getting 'leveraged', or is it worth it for 'free shit'? Do you make urself appear to be 'less authentic' and like 'you are poor' when you hit a gifting session 'too hard'?

Does Aziz Ansari 'look good' walking away from this gifting session?
Do u think he 'needs $$' or 'just likes good deals' [via GROUPON]?
If u were a relevant alt celeb, how hard would u 'gift'?
Do u look less authentic when ur wearing free, branded gear?
Have you or a buzzband u know ever been to a 'gifting session'?

Aziz Ansari

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Aziz Ansari is an indie comic who is often associated wit the hit show 'Parks and Recreation' or the now defunct MTV show 'Human Giant.'

Read more>>>>

Nancy Whang (Sad LCD AZN) spotted singing backup vocals for Holy Ghost!


Recently, LCD Soundsystem's James Murphy 'pulled the plug' on the sound project, ending it forever/until he wants to reunite for 'mad bank.' Even though he had a band of like 10 ppl who were relying on the band for money, because he probably didn't give them much [via album sales], he just called it off, leaving his band unemployed.

The second most famous human in LCD Soundsytem, Nancy Whang, seems to have 'moved on', and was spotted singing backup vocals in Holy Ghost! Ultimately, I like Holy Ghost! more than I ever liked LCD Soundsystem, so maybe she is trying to 'move in' on becoming a part of their live experience. Unfortunately, she is 'only singing' and didn't get to 'tickle the progressive ivories.'

I really hope Nancy figures it out, and releases a solo project to prove that 'James Murphy would be nowhere without her.' She really does deserve revenge after her boss decided to 'fold the company' instead of just 'firing every1 in the band.' I really hope he gave them a solid severance package...

Oh Nance... U r my Sad LCD AZN...
but I want u to be... Happy, LCD-free, QT AZN

I believe in u.

Holy Ghost BB! u Look good too! James Murphy who???

Do u think this is a good 'career move' for Nancy Whang?
Can she recover as a contributing artist to 'make a living'?
Will she become an independent artist?
Or should she 'put all of her eggs in the Juan Maclean basket'?

Do u have a crush on Sad LCD AZN, sort of how it is 'easier to get a GF' when the girl is going thru 'difficult times' and needs support + a shoulder to cry on, so u take her out to dinner and let her cry a little bit then she belongs 2 u?

Nancy Whang

Alternative Celebrity

Nancy Whang is the alt AZN synth player from the band LCD Soundsystem. Many ppl hope she 'goes solo' to step out of Jame Murphy's shadow.

Read more>>>>

Mainstream Celeb Christina Ricci spotted canoodling with rape gaze hunk Jack from Salem


At a recent Salem show, tons of twitter buzz got lifestreamed about how mainstream actress celebrity Christina Ricci was in the crowd, enjoying the dark sounds of Salem. Ricci is sort of 'the girl who would marry Marilyn Manson for 2 weeks and live in a sex dungeon', so it sorta makes sense that she would go to a Salem show to enjoy the smooth, dark rapegaze sounds of the band.

This picture was taken of Jack Donoghue, John Holland, and Cristina Ricci canoodling... Jack looks SUPER HOT as always. But U can't help but wonder....Was Christina Ricci 'the original rapegazer' [via Wednesday Addams]?

Does Christina Ricci 'turn u on'?
R u sad she got a breast reduction?
Do u think she canoodled dark-style with Salem all nite?
Does Xtina Ricci 'try too hard' to jump on gothy microtrends?
Do u ever have a 'dark night' where u end up in some basement and every1 looks like Salem then u do hard drugs and wake up in a public park the next day?

Salem

Buzzband

Salem is a rape gaze buzzband who sing songs abt dark themes. Many ppl say they 'suck' while others think they are 'brilliant.'

Read more>>>>

VIDEO: Andrew VanWyngarden throws down SICK DJ set, spins some TOMBOY

</embed>

Andrew VanWyngarden is the 'frontman' of the popular buzzband MGMT... Even though their last album didn't do so well critically, he is still moving forward because he has a major label contract and will get paid no matter what... Anyways, maybe he isn't doing that well because he DJed an empty roller skating rink during Coachella. Hopefully it was sponsored by a company that is making rollerblades and wants to expose them to alternative markets and they paid him thousands of dollars.

Anyways, he spun a jam off Panda Bear's TOMBOY, and u can hear some entry-level youtubers talking about how they just got the album on vinyl and how it SOUNDS AMAZING. They are also probably getting creamy panties for Andrew VanWyngarden, who is sorta like the Ezra Koenig of 2k9.3.

Here is a better angle of Andy VanBrOliveGarden spinning hard, using some sick crossfades, beat matching, twisting knobs. U have to wonder if he is thinking about taking his DJing career to the next level, trying to become the next Skrillex.

</embed>

His biceps look strong... He is definitely working out and LOOKS GOOD, bb!

Do u <3 Andrew VanWyngarden?
Is he a hottie hunk?

should he go solo from MGMT?
Do u think 'spinning some Tomboy' makes him hella authentic?
Do u brag in public abt owning just-released vinyl records?
Is 'spinning Panda Bear' during a DJ set 'guaranteed to clear the dance floor'?
Should he play more songs that sound like MGMT's "KIDS"?

Ezra Koenig spotted bronoodling with Danny DeVito


Ezra Koenig and Danny Devito were two of Coachella's most Very Important VIPs in attendance at Coachella. It seems like they had a chance to really bro down in a relevant VIP area, sharing ideas. Ezra chose to stay hydrated with a bottle of water, while Danny DeVito's 4'6" frame decided to 'get shitfaced.' They look like true bros, and I wouldn't be surprised if Danny DeVito was asking Ezra to 'make love to his daughter like a true rock star would' [via indecent/creepy proposals]. But that's just another day in the life of Ezra Koenig, the #1 indie hunk in indie....

Ezra looks good, bb!

Walking thru the crowds of Coachella
So many ppl recognizing me
Telling me I am beautiful and talented
I have earplugs in 2 preserve my hearing
Wearing a cap, to protect my skin from the sun
Life as a top tier indie celeb
Has its perks...
But there is a price 2 pay for buzz and relevancy
I am Ezra Koenig and this is my story...

Do Ezra and Danny 'look good'?
Do u think they talked about comedy?
Were they really 'bronoodling' or just 'standing kinda close 2 one another?
Do u wish u ran into Ezra Koenig at Coachella then made out with him in the back of a rented Jeep Liberty in the Coachella parking lot?

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Read more>>>>

Malstream Celebrity slutwavers Whitney Port, Lindsay Lohan & Paris Hilton go 2 Coachella 2 try to be alt.


Whitney Port is always quick to give out Coachella fashion tips, but she committed a MAJOR fashion no-no at Coachella 2011... showing off her upskirt panties cooch vagina. While we all would see buzzbands at any cost, perhaps showing off your goodies is 'going too far' to get close to bands and generate Coachella headlines...

Speaking of slutwave hipster hotties, check out this hippie headband that Paris Hilton is sporting. U have to think that she was able 2 sleep with one of the Strokes / Win Butler of the Arcade Fire.

Is there a photographer in the house? Well... kinda. Lindsay Lohan is shooting buzzbands at Coachella, perhaps in an effort to start her own indie music blog.

In addition, slutwave queen Katy Perry was seen looking EXTRA curvy in a free-spirited Coachella top.

All of yall look good, BBs! Maybe next year we can hit up Coachella together, but if u just wanna stay in, I have Netflix Watch Instantly.

This post was written by The Mainstreamer, the world's #1 fan of mainstream celeb gossip, tweens, TGIFrday's potato skins and all things Ben & Jerry's.

********

Which slutwaver looked 'the most alt'?
Is Coachella 'alt' or 'mainstream'?
who 'looks the best'?
Does Whitney Port's upskirt make u hot & creamy?
Did u see any mainstream celebs at Coachella?

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Read more>>>>

Danny DeVito goes 2 Coachella with his alt daughter


Lucy DeVito is the alt daughter of Danny DeVito. Danny DeVito is an alt old actor who played the Penguin in Batman Returns, but now he has reinvented himself as a 'bro comedy' legend for 'It is Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Anyways, he went to Coachella and it is 'kewl' because he is old, but at the same time, appeals 2 young ppl who watch comedies on FX.

Here he is posing with Robyn. I am not sure if they really know one another.

Is Danny DeVito 'totally alt'?
Does his daughter seem 'indie'?
Do u wish u could teach Lucy DeVito how 2 be authentic?
Do u take short ppl seriously?
Do yall <3 The Penguin?

Did u see any relevant celebrities at Coachella?

Coachella

Company

Coachella is a music festival held in Southern California that turns into a gathering of the world's most relevant buzzbands, artists, designers, celebrities, and internet personalities.

Read more>>>>

Madeline Follin from Cults does sexi post-slutwave photoshoot


I just saw this 'totally sexi' new picture of Madeline Follin, the frontwoman from Cults, and I thought it was blogworthy because she is getting 'tons of buzz' for being one of the 'hottest females in indie.' Insiders claim that Vicki LeGrand, Kickball Katy and the much-maligned Bethany Cosentino are doing their best to 'out-diva' Cults, and limit their buzz growth in the sometimes nasty behind-the-scenes scene of indie.

In this new 'promo photograph' for their record single vinyl album 'Abducted', Maddie Follin is seen with a (paper) bag over her head... This could be some sort of metaphor on 'what beauty means' and how indie females are often 'objectified' by the male blogosphere. The picture begs the modern critic to judge cults not on her looks or the boy:girl ratio of the band, but instead by the quality of their song writing and pop craftsmanship.

Sometimes u just wish Maddie would 'show the world her smile'... but at the same time her 'enigmatic brand' is driving entry level hype machine blog bros 'crazie.'

Do u <3 their new song 'Abducted' or do they need to write 10 songs that sound like 'Go Outside (and play)'?

</embed>

Abducted by cultscultscults

Is Madeline Follin 'the next big indie sex icon'?
Are Kickball Katy and Maddie Follin making Best Coast 'obsolete'?
Who is the #1 female in indie right now?
Is Cults 'getting too much buzz'?
Did the sad LCD AZN 'gain some points' after their farewell tour?
R u still 'hot' 4 the Puro Instinct sisters?
Which indie female is HOT right now?
Will 'wearing a bag over ur head' become a hot female alt trend?

What type of bag is that? A designer clutch-wave handbag, or a 'green-wave' recyclable shopping bag?

R u going to wear a bag over ur head to Coachella/a relevant buzz pool party?

Madeline Follin

Alternative Celebrity

Mysterious vocalist, 1/2 of 2k10 buzzband Cults.

Read more>>>>

Cults

Buzzband

Cults wrote a hit MP3 "Go Outside" and are looking to ride fuzzy buzzy pop waves in 2k11.

Read more>>>>

Cults does a 'high end fashion' photoshoot for the NY Times


Cults are getting put thru 'the buzz cycle' from any magazine blog outlet possible as every1 is trying to 'invest' in their buzz stock since they are 'at the top of the post-lofi pop' genre. They did some fashion shoot for New York Times Magazine where they wore 'rich ass clothes 4 rich ppl.' Madeline Follin is wearing a dress that is more expensive than a poor person car.

Brian is wearing a Tom Ford sweater, $990. Go to tomford.com. Madeline is wearing a Burberry Prorsum vest, $1,995. Go to burberry.com. Valentino dress, $5,900. Call (212) 772-6969. Makeup on Madeline: bareMinerals Original SPF 15 Foundation in Fairly Light, $25.00. NARS Bangkok Pure Matte Lipstick, $25. Go to narscosmetics.com.

I wonder if they got to 'keep the clothes.' Maybe they could pawn them for buzzworthy instruments and bleepy bloop machines. From what I have read, a buzzband makes at least $40k per show (in buzz dollars), but I don't know the conversion rate between buzz dollars and $USD (or the_Euro).

I remember one time Salem was photographed in high-end clothes, but they probs pawned them for 10 cents on the dollar to buy drugs and prostitutes.

Do u think they look 'mad keut'?
Is Cults 'the #1 buzzband of 2k11' or do u consider them a 2k10 buzzband?
Will Madeline Follin and Brian Oblivion 'play up their alt celebrity relationship' just to get more headlines [via the BestWavves model]?
Do u think she should change her name 2 'Maddie Oblivion' just so they sound more Culty?
R u 'excited' about Cults' 'first album', or are u already getting anxious about their sophomore follow-up?
Is "Go Outside" the 'greatest MP3 that Gorilla Vs. Bear has ever posted'?
Has Madeline Follin moved 'to the top' of the indie QTs power rankings?

Madeline Follin

Alternative Celebrity

Mysterious vocalist, 1/2 of 2k10 buzzband Cults.

Read more>>>>

Cults

Buzzband

Cults wrote a hit MP3 "Go Outside" and are looking to ride fuzzy buzzy pop waves in 2k11.

Read more>>>>

Aziz Ansari keeps trying to be alt, crowdsurfs at the final LCD Soundsystem show


Aziz Ansari is an indie comedian who does entire standup bits about buzzbands, but then he sorta had to 'make money' so he is trying to brand himself as 'the ethnic Chris Rock' by going mainstream-ish. Anyways, he is on some NBC shows that people who hyperactively overshare on the internet are really into, so he is a 'relevant alt comic.' Recently he was at SXSW to try to prove that he is an important member of the indie scene by bronoodling with tons of relevant alt celebs. Now he has taken his attempt 'to be alt' to the next level by crowdsurfing at the LCD Soundsystem final concert at Madison Square Garden.

Here is some video footage of the event 'from the pit.' Aziz probably weighs ~120-140 lbs, so it wasn't too much of a load for the entry level fans standing in General Admission at the show 2 'hold him up.'

</embed>

Does this prove that Aziz Ansari is an authentic indie music fan?
Is he an 'entry level fan'?
Do u think some1 grabbed his junk?
Do u wish ppl would have treated him like he was crowdsurfing at Woodstock 99 [via mosh pit rape allegations]?
Is he 'trying too hard' to be 'the #1 indie music super fan in the world'?
Will he dethrone Drew Barrymore as the #1 indie super fan in the world [link]?
Is Aziz Ansari into 'the authentic indie' or the 'mainstream indie'?
What can he do 2 prove himself as an authentic indie fan, or was 'crowdsurfing at LCD Soundsystem' the most authentic move possible?

Aziz Ansari

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Aziz Ansari is an indie comic who is often associated wit the hit show 'Parks and Recreation' or the now defunct MTV show 'Human Giant.'

Read more>>>>

CONTROVERSIAL PHOTOS: Jack from Salem bronoodles with Tyler the Creator, passes out with black chick


Yesterday, pictures of a controversial Salem show emerged... [link] Today, these photographs emerge.... There is a picture of Jack Donoghue from Salem 'partying'/'bronoodling' with horrorcore rapper Tyler the Creator. I am not sure if the whole 'Odd Future buzz' died [via Charlie Sheen of alt] or if people still buy into it. Anyways, it looks like Jack was partying hard.

Here is a picture of an unidentified African American looking to canoodle with Jack's passed out body. Feeling scared 4 him. I hope his ID, credit cards, apartment keys and social security card are safe. #pray4Jack

Sometimes I wonder if Jack
gets 'too dark'...
parties 2 hard...
I hope he is okay...
Maybe being in a buzzband is tough
Maybe we'll never understand
#pray4jack
#sendinggoodvibes

Does Jack look keut?
Do u think he is more authentic than Tyler the Creator?
Do u think they 'connected' abt being in a buzzband?
Is Jack the 'Kurt Cobain of indie'?
Does Salem party 2 hard? Are we watching them die right b4 our eyes?

Tyler, The Creator

Alternative Celebrity

Tyler is a teenage producer, rapper, and the leader of an experimental lofi shock-rap crew called Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

Read more>>>>

Pitchfork CEO Ryan Schreiber nominated for Time Magazine's Man of the Year

Image by The Mainstreamer


Pitchfork Media is a popular music news and reviews site, and they also have a festival, and they are 'super influential' when it comes 2 the indie scene, replacing mainstreamer old magazines as the #1 source 4 indie buzzbands. Anyways, the 'genius' behind Pitchfork Media is some bro named Ryan Schreiber. Basically, he effectively turned Pitchfork into an authentic content farm filled with employees who still think they are 'real writers' and he basically just chills and 'cracks the whip.' I have heard rumors that he is mainly focused on creating the technology for Pitchfork 3D, similar to how James Cameron didn't make a movie for a decade just 2 make the technology that created Avatar.

Anyways, TIME Magazine wants u 2 vote 4 him 4 'person of the year' or something like that. 'Most relevant human ever of the year', just another traffic hoarding scheme by a dying magazine, but u gotta do what u gotta do...

Did u know that Ryan Schreiber used 2 be a record store clerk? Should Carles 'get a job at a modern record store [via Best Buy]' 2 become a better music blog journalist?

In 1995, Ryan Schreiber was a 19-year-old Minneapolis record-store clerk who wanted to publish a rock-music fanzine but lacked access to a photocopier. Instead, he started a website, called it Pitchfork and began posting his thoughts on his favorite indie bands — groups whose songs never got played on the radio or MTV. Fifteen years later, Pitchfork is the Pravda of indie rock, steering opinion (and sales) with its unsparing and infamously dense record reviews.

Do u think Ryan Schreiber is more important than Obama / The Wikileaks bro / the bro who invented Facebook / ?

Did u know that Ryan Schreiber 'invented' / 'discovered' / 'uncovered' the Arcade Fire?

(Among Schreiber's discoveries: a little-known Canadian band named Arcade Fire, who this year took home the Grammy for Album of the Year.) As industry revenues crumble and genres fracture into ever smaller niches, Schreiber and Pitchfork may be the closest thing the music world has to an authoritative voice.

Feel like the Arcade Fire really 'screwed him over' by not thanking him during their Grammy acceptance speech.

Do u think he 'deserves' this honor?
Will u 'vote 4 him'?

Do u <3 'internet popularity contests'?
Is Pitchfork the #1 music site on the internet?
Who really 'controls' indie music these days? Websites, artists, or ppl who work 2 brand artists or _________?
Is every other blog just 'trying but failing 2 be P4k'?
Who would win in a blog 2 the death: Carles, Ryan Schreiber or __________ (miscellaneous 'music journalist' with legacy brand who is grandfathered in2 job at some newspaper/magazine's website)?

Ryan Schreiber

Alternative Entrepreneur, Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Ryan Schreiber is the creator of Pitchfork Media. He is one of TIME MAGAZINE's most important people in the world ever.

Read more>>>>

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Read more>>>>

VIDEO: Chloe Sevigny plays an intense game of TRUTH or DARE with a bunch of alt ppl


Chloe Sevigny stars in this 'short film' about a bunch of alternative ppl playing Truth or Dare. Honestly, I can't tell if it is a 'short film', a 'youtube video of bffs', or just some sort of alt reality show pilot. The film honestly never goes anywhere, it sorta just paints the picture of 'relevant alternative ppl' living a relevant alternative life, gathering in a relevant alternative space in a relevant alternative city and doing something relevantly whimsical and sillie that might lend some sort of insight into the human experience.

Director Cass Bird takes her inimitable lens to Chrissy Miller’s latest Sophomore collection, in a new improvised video depicting a game of “truth or dare”. Starring Chloë Sevigny, PJ Ransone, Jen Brill, Leslie Arfin, and few of their friends, the documentary style mimics Madonna’s adult antics in the classic Alek Keshishian film Madonna: Truth or Dare (1991).

I sorta wish I could play a game of Truth Or Dare with a bunch of Tragic McAltAlts...
Unfortunately, most of my friends live in suburbia and do a bunch of drugs and only listen to buzzbands and have failed artistic dreams, so there isn't much more 2 find out abt them, and I wouldn't be shocked to see them partake in sillie behavior.

Do u <3 Chloe Sevigny?
Does she look 'mad hot'?
Do u wish u could hang out with her and find out what inspires her?
Is she living an authentic existence or is she 'dated'?
Have yall ever played Truth or Dare? Did u find out something krazie abt urself/one of ur BFFs?
Is Truth Or Dare just a game that hornie, bicurious tweens play?

Let's play Truth or Dare in the comments section of this post

Chloe Sevigny

Alternative Celebrity, Alternative Entrepreneur

Chloe Sevigny is an alternative actress and model. She is famous for 'being alt hot' and giving Vincent Gallo a BJ on camera.

Read more>>>>

RUMORED: Ezra Koenig has dreadlocks, do u think he looks keut?


I was checking out some mainstream gossip blog websites, and I noticed that the lead story was that Ezra Koenig has dreadlocks now. It seems like a natural progression bc of his Afro-beat-wave influences and 'chill bro' Sunny-D wave vibes. However, photos of Ezra Koenig with dreadlocks do not exist on the internet yet. I am rlly hoping some paparazzi 'stalk him' so that the blogosphere can have these pictures.

The 'rumor mill' was fueled by a tweet he made... Now every1 is googling hard for these pictures.

Sorta worried abt him if he has dreadlocks... Maybe he is on a post-Contra 'bender' #pray4ezra... Sometimes it is a 'bad sign' when a white person has dreads... Like they've listened to too much Robert Marley....

But u never know. Maybe he's just riding positive Cobi Jones waves

Have yall seen Ezra Koenig's dreadlocks?
When will pictures of Ezra Koenig with dreadlocks emerge?
Does n e 1 know where he lives so some1 can stand outside his house with a DSLR to get these pictures that are even more coveted than the baby pictures of Panda Bear's son?
Is the mainstream blog pop culture media having a 'feeding frenzy' over #EzraGate?

Will Ezra Koenig 'make better music' with dreads attached 2 his brain?
Do u think Ezra Koenig looks keut with dreadlocks? #pray4Ezra

Thom Yorke dresses up as a newsboy & sells newspapers to try to save the music industry


Thom Yorke was spotted selling newspapers somewhere in London. At first I thought he was out of money, so he had to get a second job selling newspapers to ppl who are on their way 2 work. But then it turns out Radiohead released some gimmicky newspaper as part of their flop album release. I was sorta hoping that Thommy was 'tired of making conceptual dubstep rock music' and was trying out a new career line. It must be difficult 2 be a musician, just seems like you'd get tired of it after a while.

Here is a lamestreamer fan buying a newspaper and asking Thom to 'take a picture with her' bc he is a mainstream music icon.

Does Thom look keut as a newsie?
Do u think he gets respect from other newsies in the community, or is he invading their turf?
Do yall ever see 'newsboys' in our modern world, or have they just been replaced with vending machines and the internet?
Do ppl still sell newspapers in the middle of the road in ur local community?
Did Radiohead 'save the music industry' with their latest album, or are they just 'a part of the machine'?
Do u think Thom is ashamed of "King of Limbs"?
Why aren't the other band members selling newspapers? Are they 'ashamed' of the album?

"Open the BuzzBlogs and Seize the Meme!" -Christian Bale and Thom Yorke

</embed>

Is Thommy an 'indie hunk'?
thom yorke selling newspapers

Thom Yorke

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Thommy Yorke is the lead singer of the Radio heads. He dances around like a free spirit.

Read more>>>>

Radiohead

Buzzband

Radiohead is a conceptual band that ppl like to think is kewl because u can do drugs and get deep 2 their music.

Read more>>>>

Chaz Bundick of Toro Y Moi and horrorcore rapper Tyler the Creator spotted bronoodling


I just found this leftover SXSW meme. It is just a picture of Odd Future horrorcore teen sensation rapper Tyler the Creator hanging out with Chaz Bundick, the 'front man' of the Toro Y Moi sound project. I don't know what they are talking about, or if they are authentic bros, or if they are 'collab-ing' in this picture, but whenever u see 2 alt celebrities canoodling or bronoodling, u have to blog about it because it is usually more interesting than an MP3.

They seem chill, like they are just talking about 'life as a blipster', and how the white indiesphere wants to chew them up and spit them out.

Who do yall think is a more talented artist?
Who will be around 4evr? Who will have a longer career?
Who will go more mainstream?
Do u think they are bffs, or will they end up 'enemies'?
Is the indiesphere an 'equal opportunity buzz-enabler'?
Do u think they are allowed to use 'the n-word' 2gthr bc they are both black?
Who will 'rank higher' in the album of the year 2k11 race?
Which of these bands 'won' SXSW?

Tyler, The Creator

Alternative Celebrity

Tyler is a teenage producer, rapper, and the leader of an experimental lofi shock-rap crew called Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

Read more>>>>

Girl Talk spotted canoodling with Drew Barrymore. Are they dating?


Girl Talk recently twitpic-ed this photograph of himself canoodling with popular mainstream actress/former child star "Drew Barrymore." It seems like he is trying 2 show off how amazing his life is, and showcase the perks of being a relevant DJ. I really want to see the 'Girl Talk skanks Gone Wild' Video where we see an orgy with tons of entry level college students in a frat house. U can't help but wonder if there is a 'relationship blossoming' between Drew Barrymore and Gregg Gillis. She has an affinity 4 alt dudes, so u can't put anything past her.

Remember when she dated that drummer from the Strokes (Fabrizio Moretti) but then she forecasted their 5.9 and dumped him?

Now I think she's dating that guy from the 'I'm a Mac. I'm a PC commercials' because she wants every1 2 know that she is an Apple user.

She also dated Tom Green, who kinda looks like Girl Talk and writes bum bum songs like Girl Talk.

Do yall think she is in2 Girl Talk 'for the right reasons' or is she just 'using him' to get alt cred?
Were they 'canoodling' or is she 'just a fan'?
When was the last time u went 2 a Girl Talk concert?
Is Drew Barrymore a lamestreamer / fratpartystreamer?
Who is Drew Barrymore's best BF of all time?
Is Girl Talk a 'pimp' 4 getting to bang so much grade A a$$?

Girl Talk

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Girl Talk is a laptop DJ who got big in the bloghouse era but really just produces generic, well-branded mix tapes.

Read more>>>>

Grizzly Bear's Chris Taylor sits courtside at Knicks game


During Monday night's epic NBA Basketball game between the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics, there was a suprising indie celebrity sitting courtside: Chris Taylor from Grizzly Bear and Terrible Records. Knicks courtside tickets probably cost at least $40k per seat, so we assume that he is making mad indie buzz dollars, or he was 'gifted' the seats by a relevant mainstream celeb who traded him for indie cred.

Unfortunately, since he is not mainstream famous enough, the above picture is the only image captured of him in the seats. You have to give him props for having some alt glasses that he wasn't ashamed to wear so he could really consume the high level NBA action like a true fan.

"U look good, bb!" -The Mainstreamer

The news was confirmed by Terrible Records official twitter.

You sort of get the feeling that Chris Taylor is becoming 'the most famous-est member' of Grizzly Bear because he has kept his solo career going in the meantime by starting a record label, producing the hit 2k10 Twin Shadow album, and even throwing down a sponsored collab with Solange Knowles [link]. There has got to be 'tons of tension' with the band, especially with indie diva Edward Droste, who many have regarded as 'the front man' of Grizzly Bear. Especially because he was named one of New York City's 50 Most Sexiest Relevant Humans [link].

Do u think there is 'tension' within Grizzly Bear over who is the famous-est, most important member?
Who is the keutest member of the Grizzly Bears?
Is Chris Taylor building buzz for his solo record?
Would Grizzly Bear 'be nothing' without Chris Taylor?
IS there a growing rift inside of #TeamGrizzBear?
Who will win the NBA Championship?
What do u think Chris Taylor thinks abt the Knicks chemistry after the Carmelo Anthony trade?
What do u think Ed Droste thinks abt the Celtics chemistry after the Kendrick Perkins trade?
Who will win the NBA MVP?
Who will win the NBA Championship?

Kickball Katy spotted canoodling with ANOTHER random altbro. Who is this mystery man?

kickball katy vivian girls boyfriend
Best Coast once sang the song "I wish I had a boyfriend", but what if I told you it was the Vivian Girls' front woman Kickball Katy who was spotted canoodling with a random altbro in the VIP bathroom area of the late night Vice Party at SXSW? Earlier this week, she was spotted canoodling with Tyler the Creator [link], and before that, with a member of the Black Lips on the Bruise Cruise [link].

It seems like this strategy is a good one for the Vivian Girls, since Kickball Katy is the only one generating compelling memes that can get the band relevant coverage. U gotta give her props for looking good and doing her thang, trying to empower indie women.

Who is this mysterious altbro?
Do u think they are in a relaish?
Is it better to be in an alt celeb couple relationship OR to just 'play the field' and canoodle with as many bros as possible?
R u falling in <3 with Kickball Katy?
If u dress fuzzy buzzy crusty enough and go 2 a VivGirls show, do u think u will have a chance with her when she comes 2 ur local town?
Has this VIVIAN GIRL GONE WILD?

Vivian Girls

Buzzband

The Vivian Girls are a fuzzy buzzy all-girl band who is sad bc their drummer left them for Best Coast

Read more>>>>

Zooey Deschanel takes picture of skinny Ben Gibbard running in the Los Angeles Marathon

Photograph by Zooey Deschanel

skinny ben gibbard la marathon
Benjamin Gibbard recently ran in the Los Angeles Marathon, finishing with an Official Time of 3:56:34. I am not sure if that is a good time or not, but in my book, that is 4 hours that I could have used searching for buzzbands, perusing blogs, and beating off, so seems like a waste of time 2 me. I guess I feel good for Ben because he lost tons of weight and can now run marathons and married a Grade A piece of indie a$$...

But at the same time u can't help but wonder if he lost all of his 'indie swag' because he lost all of that weight.... Sorta like how Wilson Phillips lost all of their success after Carnie Wilson lost all of her weight...

Is Zooey Deschanel a good GF for supporting Ben Gibbard's marathon run?
Could u beat Ben Gibbard at a marathon/writing indie music?
Did he have a good time?
Have yall ever been on a four hour run?
Should Ben Gibbard go back 2 Chili's so he can write another definitive indiewave album?

Ben Gibbard

Alternative Celebrity

Ben Gibbard is the lead singer of the Death Cabs and the now defunct Postal Service. Zooey Deschanel married him to be more indie.

Read more>>>>

Michael Cera goes 2 SXSW, sleeps in hotel while other band members sleep in a trailer


I just saw these pictures of the potentially popular indie buzzband Mister Heavenly eating lunch 2gether. I am surprised to see them hanging out off stage because many critics have sensed 'tons of tension' within the band because they think that Michael Cera is just a meme hyping scheme that has caused Nick Diamonds and Honus Honus 2 'get insecure' abt their role in the band. Sorta like how all of the Beatles are jealous of Ringo Starr for living the longest IRL.

Anyways, there are these pictures of them eating lunch and 'crafting set lists.' Cera looks 'totally despondent', like he is 'ready to go back 2 Hollywood and give up on buzzband life. Or maybe he is just eager to eat a ham sammy after a night of A-list SXSW VIP partying.

There is also this picture where Nick Diamonds and Honus Honus are sleeping in a trailer. I would guess that Michael Cera 'demanded a hotel room' because of his A-list celebrity status and told his 'buzzband slaves' to 'sleep outside like the dogs that they are'.

Is Michael Cera 'a diva'/tyrant?
Do u think he slept in a 5-star hotel while his band mates slept in a broken down trailer?
Do u think there is 'mad tension' between Nick Diamonds and Mikey Cera?
Is it time for Mister Heavenly to 'kick out Michael Cera'?

Michael Cera

Actor, Alternative Celebrity

Michael Cera is an alt actor whose movies flops and he basically plays himself ovr and ovr again in every movie.

Read more>>>>

Mister Heavenly

Buzzband

Mister Heavenly is the buzzband that Michael Cera is in. It includes other members of formerly-relevant indie bands.

Lists: irrelevant
Read more>>>>

Are Zooey Deschanel's lips photoshopped in her new lipstick ad?


Zooey Deschanel is an actress/indie singer who is trying to gain more indie cred as an indie star, but at the same time, she is trying to turn herself into a Natalie Portman level serious actress. She keeps doing stuff where she 'represents brands' and I am not sure if any1 really takes her seriously as either an actress or as an indie star, but she looks 'generically pretty enough' 2 be successful.

Anyways, it looks like she may or may not have been photoshopped, especially her lips.
Do yall think she sort of gives off a Mrs. Potato head vibe due to her lips + piercing blue eyes + gimmicky indie accessories that are mixed and matched to strategically build her personal brand?

Does she think that indie is just abt 'looking indie' and finding the right vintage/boutique finds to take her brand 2 the nxt level?
Should she just go mnstrm and 'show more skin'?

Here is some generic blurb that tries to explain how Zooey is s000 perfect for the brand and it was t0tesally a natural fit bc she <3s beauty + makeup.

"Fun, pretty and hip." This is how charismatic Zooey Deschanel describes "the London look". Gorgeous Zooey Deschanel was named brand ambassador of Rimmel London in March last year. Now, the famous British beauty company has released the new Rimmel Lasting Finish Lipstick ad with the beautiful singer/actress looking absolutely adorable, girlish, yet very seductive wearing the Heart Breaker shade.

The "(500) Days of Summer" star was considered as being the perfect image for the label. "We wanted to add an American voice. We have an American beauty with London confidence," said Rick Goldberg, vice president of marketing for Rimmel London.

Zooey Deschanel, who is the face of a new lash accelerating mascara, a perfecting powder foundation and of the lasting lipstick, said that, "I love makeup. I’ve been wearing different beauty products for years. I shop everywhere and I love the fact you can get such great looks at a reasonable price. I want to be associated with products that are accessible for everyone."

Would u hire Zooey Deschanel 2 model 4 ur clothing/makeup/brand line?
Or has her stock 'gone down the drain' since she married Benjamin Gibbard?

Here is some 'commercial' for the random lipstick product where Zooey bullshits withs some other random model broad, but the other model is theoretically 'more attractive than Zooey' but Zooey gets more screen time bc she is more famouser.

</embed>

I sorta miss the days when Zooey was all like "Cotton is the fabric of our lives', yall... really felt like I could identify with her bc I buy most of my blank tees at Walmart

</embed>

Is Zooey Deschanel 'Grade A indie a$$'?
Will she 'go solo' from She & Him?
R u gonna buy this lipstick so that ur lips look like hers?
Was she photoshopped?
do her bangs still look keut or are they 'soo 2k0s indie'?
Is Ben Gibbs gonna divorce her soon?

Tom Cruise's blipster son tries to become an alt DJ


Apparently Tom Cruise used to be married to Nicole Kidman b4 he 'went krazie' and became a zany scientologist, but at the same time, he loves life and kinda transcends society, so u gotta give him props. Anyways, they adopted some kid and named him "Connor Cruise" and now he is a Los Angeles blipster and now he is taking his brand to the next level by becoming a DJ. Not sure who the white lil dude is, but no way would that be Tom Cruise's son.

Tom Cruise’s 16-year-old son Connor has found a new way to make some pocket money. The teen is paving his way as a DJ and spun some tunes at a fashion event in LA last night. He teamed up with Jake Isham at Satine Boutique in West Hollywood for the cocktail party celebrating fashion brand Whitley Kros. Not that he needs the money as he has wealthy A-List actors for parents but he seemed to enjoy himself while spinning the decks

Do u think he is gonna play Coachella?
Do u think having 'beats by Dre headphones' makes him a better/more authentic DJ?

Vibin so hard. Hanging out with a lil runt bro who still has the 'tag' on his NBA cap.

Do yall think he should become a 'rapper' too?

I sorta wonder if he felt pressure to compete with Will Smith's tween sensation kids Jayden and Willow to become a relevant tween-wave personality. Hopefully he can become 'house DJ' on the next Bieber + Willow Smith tour.

Seems like he is rlly alt.

Connor dressed in an atypical DJ outfit consisting of jeans and a track suit top. He wore a silver chain around his neck and had his large disc-jockey trademark headphones. Connor seems to have come a long way from the shy child seen pictured with his dad and adoptive mother Nicole Kidman growing up. He also has an adoptive sister Isabella, now 18, and they both live with the Mission Impossible star with stepmother Katie Holmes and little sister Suri, four.

Being a DJ bro and 'banging' a groupie.

Do u think he is the new Diplo/Steve Aoki/Skrillex?

Here he is 'turning his swag on' Mission Impossible style, probably playing a sick top 40 remix.

Is Tom Cruise 'amazing'/the greatest actor of our generation?
Is DJ Connor Cruise the next big relevant alt DJ?
R u gonna go see this bro DJ?

Will he be more successful than
a) Tom Hanks' kid
b) Bob Dylan's kid
c) Billy Ray Cyrus's kid?
d) Will Smith's son
e) Will Smith's daughter
f) Justin Bieber's dad's son
g) The Two Coreys
h) all of the above
i) none of the above

Kickball Katy spotted canoodling with horrorcore rapper Tyler the Creator

tyler the creator kickball katy
It seems like Kickball Katy has really been on an alt rampage after a rumored relationship with a member of the Black Lips on the Bruise Cruise [link]. Now this picture of her canoodling with Odd Future rapper Tyler the Creator. I am not sure if he is 18 yet, so it seems pretty 'pimp' of him, but it might be 'against the law' via her side.

I wonder if this buzz couple is going to 'work out', and we will see some sweet Best Coast + WAVVES style collabs, and possibly some decent memes, and most importantly the first alt couple sex tape.

Do u hope they 'stay 2gthr'?
Will they be happy 4evr?
Should they write some fuzzy buzzy rap?
Is Gorilla Vs. Bear turning into some sort of alt paparazzi?
Is Kickball Katy officially 'the most desirable woman' in fuzzbuzz rock?
Do u think they are 'canoodling', 'in a relaish', or just had '1 krazie nite 2gthr at South-Bi'?
Does true <3 last after SouthBySouthwest?

Tyler, The Creator

Alternative Celebrity

Tyler is a teenage producer, rapper, and the leader of an experimental lofi shock-rap crew called Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All.

Read more>>>>

Failed Indie Actress Maggie Gyllenhaal launches Etsy store to try 2 make money


Maggie Gyllenhall is a famous indie actress, but more importantly, she is the brother of Jake Gyllenhaal who played Donnie Darko and a homosexual who got murdered bro in Brokeback Mountains Beyond Mountains. Anyways, not sure how her career is going because she launched an Etsy store and is selling headwraps/ 'dread wraps' for $25 a pop... It seems like Etsy is some sort of gimmick marketplace where failed creative types go to scrape together money from people who are actively looking to waste money.

The name of her store is 'Intergalactic Apparel', which seems to be way more alt than 'American' Appy.

This dread wrap/headband is made mostly out of up-cycled sweater material and brown velvet. Its really soft and warm. I got a little carried away when I was making it so it is a little wider than I usually make them but then there is just more to love :)

I braided strips of up-cycled fabric to create a soft and stretchy tie that makes this Interstellar Headband completely free size and will fit just about anyone!

Have a wonderful day!
Miles of Smiles~
Glacia Rose

Do yall think she looks keut?
R u gonna buy this other product that she made called "PeaCocK PiXiE-- InteRsTeLLaR CoRseT SkiRt"?

Do yall think Maggie Gyllenhaal is 'hot' in an alt kind of way?
R u gonna support her Etsy store?
Do u think she should hit up Jake for a loan if she is running low on money?
Is Jake 'the most alt' Gyllenhaal?
Have yall ever sold anything lame on Etsy?
Do yall know any other famous ppl who sold crap on Etsy?

"u look good, bb!" -the Mainstreamer

The Broad from Chairlift (Caroline Polachek) does a slutwave photoshoot


I am not too familiar with Caroline Polachek or Chairlift, but I know that their song was used in some iPod commercial post-Feist because it 'sounded indie' [link], and then one time she sang on a song that Washed Out wrote.

</embed>

Anyways, because I believe that a series of sexy indie celeb photographs is more valuable than 95% of indie mp3s, I just wanted to post these pix of Caroline riding slutwaves around her house. She has a really solid indie body, and I think she has been known to wear 'provocative' things on stage. I think if she continues to 'look good' and 'show off her body', Chairlift can maybe become relevant in an authentic way instead of in the failed Apple buzz kind of way.

Wonder if she has potential to become 'the hottest woman in indie.' Oh kewl, do u play instruments? R u in a buzzband?

Here she is trying to 'rip off' Toro Y Moi's "Underneath the Pine" album cover by eating citrus.

Do yall think that she is 'keut'?
Should she just wear this on stage every time they play?

Is Chairlift an authentic buzzband, or are they a failed buzzband?
Do yall <3 Caroline?
Does she look 'good' and 'classy'?
Can she become more relevant than Alice Glass/Vicki LeGrand if she just shows off more skin?

Caroline Polachek

Alternative Celebrity

Caroline Polachek is the female vocalist & star of electro band Chairlift.

Lists: QTs
Read more>>>>
Syndicate content