Questions for yall | Hipster Runoff

Questions for yall

Create your own HRO Post with this bloggable photo.

Hey yall. Since HRO has become so formulaic, I was gonna give yall an opportunity to 'make ur own post.' The Carles brand has been successful, embedding itself as the subconscious voice of so many people across the world. Even though a lot of other ppl could probs write my blog, there is only 1 Carles. I thought I would give yall a chance to 'get ur creativity on; this is an opportunity to construct your own HRO post.

Here is a bloggable image as determined by Carles. It is your job to create a zany caption/gimmick/blog post/slant/angle on the image in the comments section. A winner will be determined by Carles, then this post will be deleted, and reposted with ur content.

Photo by Yvan Rodic

Which Post Title would be the optimal choice?
a) Are Homeless PPL fans of the Yankees/Alex Rodriguez?
b) Are Spike Lee blipsters replacing traditional african americans?
c) Do more Americans Need Vision+Dental Insurance?
d) Does n e 1 know if Am Appy invented hoodies, or did the exist b4 2k0?
e) Am I racist if I assumed that this man was homeless?
f) Is Obama deserving of the Nobel Peace Prize?
g) Do African Americans appreciate Animal Collective?
h) Do Yankees fans listen to indie music?
i) Is this bro waiting outside of a relevant venue to see a relevant buzzband?
j) If u were this bro, what would u tweet?
k) Should I get an internship with Lenscrafters?
l) Do u still use AOL instant messenger, or just FB Chat/gchat/twitter?
m) Should I buy a Macbook?
n) When u were a kid, did u think that all men who were on the streets were drug dealers, rapists, and kidnappers?
o) Will Morgan Freeman fail in the role of Nelson Mandela?
p) Is Tiger Woods a 'pimp bawla'?
q) Do u think they would let me crash the White Haus if I looked like this bro?
r) Is it 'deep' to photograph ppl who are less wealthy than u+ur nuclear family?
s) Are Child Predator Glasses 'dead'?
t) What's the most annoying part of contact lenses?
u) If u take a picture of some1, do u own their soul?
v) Do u still own their soul if u post the picture on the internet?
w) Choose ur own response

This is yalls time to construct an HRO post. Leave it in a comment for your chance to win a free blog.

Where the Wild Bros Are Chilling [via Indie Rock Music Festivals]

Photo via stereogum

Recently, I saw the popular indie film Where The Wild Things Are after seeing it advertised on every media website/blog/tv channel that appeals 2 me. It changed my view of the world, and sort of made me want 2 'get back 2 basics', and 'become a child again', kinda like Animal Collective lyrics. I feel like the inside of me is just a lil boy, and I live in a world with tons of metaphorical monsters.

That's kinda why I decided 2 dress up like the lil boy, then attend a relevant music festival. It seemed appropriate, and I was able to give my Am Appy hoodie a 'second life.' It seems like ever since the altbro aesthetic died, most former altbros are trying to 'pick up the pieces' of their former personal brands, and trying 2 sculpt themselves into something modern/'real.'

I want to feel 'real' but I also kinda wanna be an 'escapist.' I feel like finding a popular movie character to mimic might 'bring me back 2 basics', kinda like the year of my life where I tried to be/think/act like Tyler Durden/ZBraff/miscellaneous Tenenbaum character.  I am a lil bit distant and dark, but there's also a lil bit of 'hope' in my brand.

What movie character would yall morph into?
Will u use Halloween 2k9 as an opportunity to 'morph' in2 some1 else?
Isn't it weird how we want 2 be 'more than human' now that we have already evolved from apes/chimpanzees/guerillas?

Do yall know if it is still alt 2 go 2 a music festival dressed as a Starship Trooper?

It seems like a storm trooper might have been relevant if u were going 2 woodstock, but now, it might mean that you are an 'old ass bro' from back then, or something.

Sorta feeling like I wish I could be any1 but myself right now. Wonder if the next decade will be all about 'escaping from urself' instead of trying to 'enhance urself.' Wonder if they are the same thing. :-(

Previous Where the Wild Alts Are

Srsly though...what are some good ideas 4 alt Halloween costumes?
Is PeeWee HermanAlt still a 'relevant' costume?

Or should I be a vintage ironic human meme from the Electro Era?

Miss u Australian Partie Bro Meme.

(Will probs just be a balloon boy meme costume 2 'get ppl talking.')


As HRO continues to 'get back 2 itz roots', it will attempt to reconnect with popular gimmicks that it once utilized. You might remember 'Altbro or AltBag' and possibly 'Alt or Bro'--both were games where you had to identify the social genre of a human being. In the following post, you are asked to evaluate whether the woman pictured is a 'legitimate homeless woman' or an 'it girl.' This is meant to question the reader's concept of 'fashion' and demonstrate the impact of societal role reversal on fashion as a method of self expression.

This gimmick is known as "HOMELESS WOMAN or IT GIRL?????"

Photo via the ArabParrot

Do u think the woman in the picture is a HOMELESS WOMAN or an IT GIRL?

Please justify your answer in the comment to receive your free I AM CARLES shirt.

For example:

'She is homeless bc she is really trying to take a nappy on the sidewalk [via her bed made of newspaper].'


'She is an IT GIRL because of her yoga bag and fashion-forward sense of style. Lovin the ironic rain boots. Gonna buy those at Urbby when I get my next paycheck.'


'She is a homeless 'it girl' since the IT GIRL bubble burst in mid-2k8.'

What do yall think she is?
Feeling confused by societal roles and could really use your guidance.

Previous Homelessness Coverage

Play similar editions of this gimmick

Is it ‘too gimmicky’ to cover AnCo’s “My Girls” from the perspective of a female?

I just listened to the Taken By Trees cover of Animal Collective's "My Girls" except she changed the words to "My Boys." Seems like a 'gender switching' gimmick that happens a lot in modern music [via 'No Scrubs' --> 'No Pigeons']


I feel like this song 'isn't as powerful' from a woman's perspective. The original 'My Girls' is a declaration of 'actually wanting to provide for your family' even though you are a male, and u naturally want to 'plant ur seed in tons of bitches' and abandon your family because u feel like 'caring for a child' is a female's job (this is actually the case in nature most of the time). It is important to remember that the only reason Animal Collective is so popular is bc of their underlying themes of 'male idealism'--bros enjoy to pretend that 1 day they will 'evolve' into a loyal, caring, noble, respectable, authentic human being. Women should stick to writing their own songs about their own experiences/emotional needs.

Can't believe the spirit of this song is 'totally different' and 'totally sad' when a woman sings it. No longer a song of 'hope'--it is a song where a delusional woman is 'trapped' with her life caring for her husband who cheats on her, and her son who will one day resent her.

Just feels weird to hear a girl singing this 'ode to servitude' where ur saying that u just want 2 care 4 ur family. It seems like some sort of 'propaganda' from the 1950s, back when women were supposed to 'stay at home, make sandwiches, do the laundry, and wipe the asses of the kids' while men could do whatever they wanted. The tone of this song seems 'whimsical', as if it is in a 'fucking dreamworld.' While it is always a bloggable gimmick to cover AnCo, sometimes u have to think about how ur 'diminishing some1's art' if u cover it.

Still not even sure what the Animal Collective sings in this 'My Gals' song. It seems like it might be a rejected song from the 'My Girl' soundtrack. Sad that Macaulay Culkin asked to be buried alive in Michael Jackson's grave.

There isn't much that I feel I need
A solid soul and the blood I bleed
But with a little girl, and by my spouse,
I only want a proper house

I don't mean to seem like I
Care about material things,
Like a social status,
I just want
Four walls and adobe slabs
For my girls

Feeling confused, like I can't relate to AnCo since I'm not a 'caring parent'/cool dad yet.

Just want 4 walls and adobe slabs 4 my girls. 'WTF is an Adobe Slab?'

'I just want 4 walls and the Adobe Creative Suite 4 my girls.' -an HRO commenter during the HRO golden age.

do u want 2 have a family when u grow up or will ur kids/spouse h8 u as much as u h8 ur parents?

Should tweens and entry level alts boycott Girl Talk live performances because they are not ‘green’ enough?


As you know, I have refrained from blogging about the Girl Talk live experience because of his increasing levels of inauthenticity. However, I noticed a lot of terrible things happening at his show that have to do with one of my biggest passions--'going green.' For those of you who don't know, the phrase 'going green' relates to 'doing shit that will help 2 save our environment and keep humans around 4ever.' As u can see, Girl Talk's show is not very 'green.' Not sure what the opposite of 'going green' is.

It seems like the Girl Talk is a 'celebration of waste', like they are just converting a local park into a 'huge fucking dumpster.'

Not sure if toilet paper shooting technology really enhances the live music experience. Most bands I have seen did not construct 'waste machines' that fling paper into the air--instead they focus on making authentic indie rock.

People even find a way to use the wasted toilet paper as 'temporary clothes', then they probs 'wiped their metaphorical asses' b4 throwing it on the ground.

Probably is some sort of 'status symbol' at Girl Talk shows, much like mainstream kids are 'proud of their Abercrombie', alts at GT shows are 'proud that the Lord delivered them some toilet paper'

Photos like this make me 100% certain that the ice caps will melt, and the oceans will flood 90% of the land on Earth during my lifetime.

If I had some tweenage kids, I probably wouldn't let them attend a Girl Talk show. Not only are there structural dangers when it comes to '200 kids crashing a temporary stage', but also it seems like a 'big ass' 'tweenage fuckfest.'

Seems really unchill. Worried that there are 'altbro predators' there.

Ultimately, I am enraged that Girl Talk promotes such waste. We are trying to save the environment, but it seems like his live show figures that if 'shit gets crazy', then it is worth it. The concept of 'toilet paper' is wasteful, as is the act of 'shooting that shit into the air on top of a sea of alts.'

Ultimately, I am sad that Jaime, the latino man who works as a foreman for the Parks and Recreation Department will have to clean up the mess.

Put litter in its place.
Support GREEN artists.
Save the Environment.
Save Jaime.


Feeling sad in a celebration of waste.

Name that AltBroad Celebritie Look a like

was looking at pix of tweens on the lookbook website. Not sure how to purchase 1, but I think I want 2 buy this 1 who looks a lot like 1 of my fave femalt celebrities.

Photo via lookbooktween

Yall... Who does she look like?


  • She is from Scandinavia
  • She wears buns in her hair
  • She sings meaningful songs that u can put on mix CDs for girls
  • One of her songs is about being 'a lil bit in <3 with u'
  • Sometimes she sings over the electrobro KLEERUP
  • She reminds s00 many ppl of 'Stevie Nicks'
  • It's not Uffie / Alice Glass

Does n e 1 know who it is?

miss u


Question 4 Female Readers

Photo via lookbook

Sometimes ur hornie, but there's no1 else around 2 'get u off.' I feel happie that some1 invented 'masturbation.' Imagine if there was no way 2 pleasure urself? Feel like there would be a lot of lonely people out there. I think guys just have to 'tug off' and 'watch some slut getting fucked' on the internet.

Does n e 1 know how girls 'get off'?
From what I have heard, when a girl wants 2 cum by herself, she just has to sit on top of a washing machine/dryer?

Not even really sure how vaginas work. I think there is 1 part that ur 'supposed 2 rub' and then another part 'deep inside.'

Feel anxious about losing my virginity. Worried that my parents will find out and think that I'm 'a slut'/'hornie piece of shit'. I just wish that they'd realize that I'm young and in love.

Happie that I know about 'condoms' and 'alternate methods of contraception.' I srsly feel like my life would be over if I got a girl preggers.

Sort of wish my middle school had Sex Ed/taught evolution. Think that I wouldn't be so 'naive' if I knew more about the world.
Is n e 1 gonna wait 2 have sex until ur married?
What do u do when ur hornie? Do yall like sexting?

This is a post about exploring ur sexualitie, kinda like the movie EYES WIDE SHUT.

Alternative Celebrity Broad Lookalike / Who does she look like yall?

Carles was browsing the internet, and saw a picture of a kute girl who looks exactly like this 1 famous kute girl.  Carles asks the HRO reader who the normal person looks like in order to build a 'sense of community.'

photo via lookbook

Who does she look like, yall?


  • She is the lead singer of the popular bloghouse band 'Crystal Castles.'
  • She is the frontman of the popular garage rock band 'The Ya Ya Yalls.'
  • Her family had a successful reality show on MTV2.
  • She is dating Albert Hammond Jr. of the StrokeBros.
  • She is the spawn of Bruce Willis and Demi Kutcher.
  • She is a popular singer of the band The Gossip Girls who recently went on the reality tv show 'The Biggest Loser: Celebrity Fit Club.'
  • Whatever happened 2: Uffie?
  • She sang on the song "Stan" with Eminem.

Soo angry that I can't quite put my finger on who she looks like.  Can yall think of who she loox like?

Who is the most authentically chill bro?

Just saw a picture of three bros chillin', bein' creative. Wonder which bro would be the best bro the chill with?

Photo via Kanye Blog

Who do yall think would be the best bro 2 chill with?

Bro #1)
He seems like a bro who is into cool shit, like culture and rap and stuff. Might be awkward to become BFFs with a black person if ur parents aren't as progressive as they pretend to be.
Bro #2) Seems like a pretty cool post-Cobain type of bro. Might always be down to throw down an authentic rock n roll post-rock chill. Not sure if ur parents would want u hanging out with a bro who 'looks like a drug addict.'
Bro #3) Seems like he is a cool bro who is always down to play some kewl riffs on a no-wave tribute song. Not sure why he is wear a shirt for a 'flashy' 46 year old mom.


...BUT SRSLY....
Does n e 1 know why artists always have to 'collaborate'? Feel like 95% of the time, it is pointless 'co branding' 2 make people feel like ur really 'making new, beautiful art' cuz u 'don't care about what genre u fall into.' Maybe in the future we need 2 leave 'mashing up' to experts like The Girl Talks, and othe nite life DJs. Tired of these artists trying to piggyback off 1 another 2 'reach new audiences'/assuming that 'authenticity' or 'pop appeal' is a transferrable force.

Miss the days when collabs were 'authentic' and 'exciting.'


Name that mnstrm celebrity lookalike

I was just looking at pictures of kewl shit and kewl ppl, and noticed this bro. Tihnk he looks like some1 famous. Do yall know who I am thinking of, or am I being all crazie?

Photo via Hypebeast

WHO THE 'EFF' does this bro look like?


  • He played a bro with scissors instead of hands that ppl 'identified with' even though it wasn't 'that good'
  • He was in the highest grossing film of all time
  • He played Hunter S. Thompson in the movie Half Baked
  • He was in a movie about doing BLOW
  • He was in a movie called 'What's eating U, bro?' starring Leo Dicappy

Do yall know who this bro is?

He looks eggzackly like some1 I know... hmmm

Name that mainstream celebrity lookalike

Carles was looking at pictures of beautiful people, and he couldn't help noticing how much this bro looks like a famous bro. The point of this gimmick is for the reader/commentingbro to guess who this bro looks like.


Yall. Saw this bro. I know he totally resembles one of the most mainstream celeb bros in the music industry.

Here are some hints 4 yall:

  • He recently broke up with Jennifer Aniston cuz he loves 'twitter' more than her
  • He wrote the hit song 'I wanna Run Through the Halls of my Hi Skewl (Ur Body is a Wundrland)
  • He is the most successful 'singer songwriter' of the modern era
  • He tries to be a 'funny bro' when it comes to 'being a super star' and 'handling his status as a celebrity.'
  • When he first entered the music scene, his brand was very Gap/Old Navy-ish, wearing stuff like baggy green cargo pants. Then he started 2 'work out' and 'got a sleeve tattoo.'
  • He wrote the album 'Amerikan Idiot'

Who do yall think this bro looks like?

People who wait in line overnight to buy shit.

Photo via Kanye University

Sometimes it is hard for me to evaluate what I truly value, and how much I value it. Do I value 'friends'/'family'? Do I value 'life experiences' like 'studying abroad'? Do I value having new products in my possession? Do I value 'shit like Apple products'/'cell phones'/'the right to say that I was one of the first people to see an adventure action movie that is part of a trilogy'?

I saw these bros sitting outside of an urban boutique waiting to purchase the Kanye West sneakers, which I have previously reviewed. I wonder 'what is so important' about a shoe? Is there some sort of 'technology' that will make their lives' better, or do they just want the right to the experience/right to purchase the shoe for $1000, or the right to sell the shoe on eBay to the 'highest bidder'?

Wonder if I could 'bond' with the people who wait in line for new products, since we basically value the same stuff. Feels weird when 'everything feels like a toy', but there are still these adults who 'really want to buy a kewl new toy that will make people think they are kewler.'

Always kinda weird when there is a higher demand than supply, and when people 'wait overnight' for the right to buy something. Kinda like a Nintendo Wii / Jonas Brothers tickets. Sort of reminds me of 'spoiled kids' from my childhood, whose parents were 'kinda bad and lazy', just sort of letting their son/daughter 'run away with the concept of COOL.' Still angry that my parents weren't like that.

Felt sad when I had to wait in line at an AT&T store for the new iPhone. Wish I lived in NYC/ a city with an Apple store so I didn't feel like 'such a loser' and I could actually bond with 'kewl people' who were part of the same 'product tribe' as me.

So what do yall value? Have yall ever 'sacrificed' ur time 2 'wait for the right' to 'buy something fuckin awesome'? How does it feel when u have the product in ur hand, then spend several hundred dollars 2 purchase it? How does it feel the first time u use it?

Trying 2 be happy, and establish a hierarchy of wants and needs. Not sure if it means that a 'lifestyle brand' has too much control over my life if I am willing to wait outdoors for more than 3 hours for it.

Name That Alt Celeb Lookalike (cutie)

I was browsing pictures of beautiful ppl, and noticed 1 who looked exactly like an alternative celebrity. Might actually be her. Can yall help me out and tell me who she looks like?

Photo by Glam Canyon

Who 'the eff' does this broad LOOK LIKE?


  • She is currently dating Kanye West
  • She recently broke up the celebrity couple Green Aggs and Ham
  • She was in the movie Basic Instinct
  • She is dating Lindsay Lohan
  • She was in the movie Natural Born Killers
  • She is sad and crying black tears a lot because it is a metaphor for oil/the Middle East.


Which Bro is not in the band?

Which Bro is Not In the Band? (tm) is a new HRO gimmick where the readers must identify which bro is not actually in the band even though he looks like he is in the band/is trying too hard to look like a bro in a relevant band. The pictured band is Grizzly Bears.

Photo via flickr

Which bro is not in the band?
a) Bro A
b) Bro B
c) Bro C
d) Bro D
e) Bro E

Kinda confused by Bro E. He looks not as authentic as the other bros [via highlights + designer plaid], so I guess maybe him.

Name that Alternative Celebrity Lookalike (MGMT BRO)

I was browsing through pix of alternative ppl, and came across this 1 bro. He sort of reminded me of some1 famous, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it...Who the hell does he look like, yall?

Photo via Lookbook

This lil bro looks like
a) the lead singer of MGMT
b) Corey Feldman in the Goonies
c) Trace Cyrus
d) Julian Casablancas
e) Albie Hammie Jr
f) a guy in a trivial power pop band on MTV
g) Mark McGrath
h) The lead singer of Plain White T's
i) Just another troubled tween
j) Pete Simpson-Wentz
k) Choose.Your.Own.Response

frustrated when I see some1 who looks EXACTLY like some1, but i still can't figure out who it is...

Name that Alternative Celebrity Lookalike (weird broad)

I was looking at pictures of pretty ppl, then noticed that a regular person looked a lot like 1 of my favourite alternative celebrities. Who do yall think it is?

Photo by lastnitesparty

This woman looks like

a) Uffie

b) Britt Spears 'Baby 1 More Time Era'

c) Lovefoxxx of C.S.S.

d) The lead singer of the Ting Tings

e) Karen O

f) Celine Dion

g) Audrina Partridge

h) a Vivian Girl

i) Agyness Deyn

j) Twiggy

k) Audrey Hepburn

l) M.I.A.

m) M.I.A.'s second child

n) Jenny Lewis

o) Feist

p) Au Revoir Simone

q) Gwen Stefani

r) Lady Gaga

s) Little Boots

t) Sigourney Weaver

u) Whitney Houston

v) Nicole Richie

w) Lykke Li

x) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Can't take my eyes off of her, yall! Driving me crazy! Who does she look like???

Who would yall rather 'be romantically involved'/'intimate' with?

Photos via

A pair of mainstreamers who are showing off their kute figures at an alternative underwear partie? [via buzzed on wine]

or would u rather be sandwiched between 2 altbros wearing miscellaneous American Apparel undies?

This post is meant to question your sexuality.
This post is meant to question what u desire in a partner.
This post is meant to question if u want 2 settle down with a mainstreamer or an alt.
This post is meant to question the authenticity of Am Appy coloured briefs.
This post is meant to question who u r and what ur needs r.
This post is meant to showcase GEEK LIFE [via tummy tatty].

Maybe all ppl want the same thing. Maybe we're all attracted 2 the same features like 'facial symmetry', 'big breasts', a 'healthy amount of curves', and 'swoopy bangs.'

///All I ever wanted
///Was a handful
///of jug

Just want the tender touch
of another
'human being'
without the emotional responsbilities

Groups of friends who look like bands

Sometimes, I see pix of regular alts in a group setting who unintentionally/intentionally 'look like they are in a band.' I think that is a high complement about ur alternative credibility, and the ppl who u associate urself with. In the HRO Gimmick GROUPS OF FRIENDS WHO LOOK LIKE BANDS, u must generalize the group of friends, and guess what genre of music that they would play if they were a real band.

This group of friends look like they probably play music that sounds like
a) the beach boys
b) architecture in Helsinki
c) Sixpence None the Richer
d) The Veronicas
e) no wave
f) shoe gaze
g) lezbo core
h) lezb indie
i) female alts with tatties-core
j) no-wave post-fuzz music
k) beach punk fuzz revivalist
l) Lilith Fair artists
m) Jewel ft Dido (Meredith Brooks Remix)
n) Bjork
o) Lookbook Tween Superstar Band
p) Choose.Your.Own.Response

What kind of music would they make if they were a band, yall?

Name That Alternative Celebrity Lookalike (some broad)

[lookbook photography]

I was looking at pictures of hot alt tween chicks, and I noticed that this altbroad looked a lot like one of my favourite alternative celebrities. Can yall guess who she looks like?


  • She is famous 4 wearing top hats
  • She sings the song "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked it, Yall."
  • She was in the hit reality show The Osbournes.
  • It may or may not be "The Uffie."
  • She sings the song "Just Dance."
  • It might be Alice Glass as a blonde, but I'm not sure.
  • She was on the show The Simple Life


What kind of an ALT is M.I.A.'s baby going 2 be?

Yall. I was reading a mainstream pop culture blog, and I saw that one of M.I.A.'s friends messed things up for her by posting a pic of her baby before M.I.A. sold the baby photos to Pitchfork Magazine for $500 and 10 guest passes to Pitchfork Media festival.

h8 our modern world where snark bloggers 'get vulnerable'/cruel and post pix of the kids of ppl. Wish they'd leave the kids out of it.

I know whenever some1 alt has a baby, u can't help but wonder what type of Alt the baby is going 2 b.

What type of Alt will M.I.A. Jr. be?
a) altbro
b) altbag
c) altbaguette
d) just a bro
e) mainstreamer
f) pokemone
g) mexicalt
h) blipster
i) guidocore technobro
j) baby with links to terrorism
k) raver bro
l) Max Fischer kind of bro
m) Christian Bale audio meme
n) Keut Alt AZN
o) some bro who reads HRO
p) a blogger
q) gonna go to design school / liberal arts prep school in 17 years
r) mainstreamer alt who watches a lot of BRAVO
s) Ironic Coffee Shop Employee Alt
t) Pizza Alt
u) Choose.Your.Own.Response

Congrats, MIA! We were the first blog to blog about your song "Paper Planes"!
Glad the Grammys helped make u+ur baby a meme worth blogging about for all mainstreamers and alts.
We finally did it. We finally have a Prince to the Alt Throne.


Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

What do POPPERS feel like?

[Photo via thecobrasranake<]
I was reading the internet weblog the cobrasnake, and I saw that there were people doing this new drug called POPPERS. Not sure what it feels like, but I've heard that it was been big for a long time in the Ghey underworld subculture. It is apparently some sort of liquid that u 'huff' and it makes u feel free for 1 or 2 seconds. Not sure if that's how it works. does n e 1 know?

I have done no research into the effects of poppers, but from what I can gather:

  • poppers cause a momentary moment of brain damage / mental retardation
  • poppers are kind of like cocaine because u inhale it
  • poppers are kind of like huffing gasoline because it makes u 'free'
  • poppers have no negative effects
  • poppers make nights more meaningful
  • poppers can fuck u up more than alcohol
  • poppers are not as chill as marijuana
  • poppers don't facilitate epiphanies, kinda like acid/LSD
  • u can't do poppers off ur iPhone without breaking it/causing water damage
  • poppers should only be used by kidz above the age of 10
  • poppers are a cheap, easy way to have fun with a group of friends
  • if u do too many poppers, ur brain will start to come out of ur nose
  • doctors sometimes feed babies poppers to 'chill them out' right when they pop out of the womb
  • Barrack Obama is working on an anti-popper campaign targeted at tweens in the Midwest
  • poppers are not as bad as meth for society
  • poppers can be ur bro, but u have 2 be chill.

Has n e 1 who reads this blog done poppers?
Can yall describe what they feel like?
Just trying to experiment b4 I get old and die.
Want to 'feel' every possible feeling on Earth before I die.

"u only live once." -The Strokes


After the success of AltBro vs AltBag, Carles continues to push the limits of HIPSTER RUNOFF by asking relevant, thought-provoking questions. In this edition, he asks if this group of tweens is a POPULAR TWEEN BAND (like the alternative Jonas Brothers from Southern Cali) or A Group of Bitter Pokemones who ran away from home in search of a better/more liberated life?

What do yall think they are? Plz justify ur answer, for example

"They are probably one of those bands that MTV forces down ur throat even though they are pretty ghey, kinda like Tokio Hotel."
"They are pokemones whose parents kicked them out of their house for have 2 many bisexual relations and being too fruity. Parents from the Mexi part of the world just don't understand."

What do yall think?

Previous pokemones coverage

/////Are pokemones the new Entry Level Alts?


Do yall think that pokemones are more authentic than entry level alts cuz they are 'more sexual' and 'just wanna experiment' more than they want to 'buy tween accessories'?

Should I get my tongue pierced?

I recently saw that teen sensation, Drew Barrymore got her tongue pierced.

It kinda reminded me about the past, and when people took personal branding choices 'more seriously'/didn't overanalyze them. Kinda wish we could go back to those days, and just appreciate things for what they are, and not 'overreact'+crucify people whenever they implement a trend.

Just want 2 go to a tattoo shop and have a tatted up bro stick a sharp rod through me.


Should I just get buzzed and try 2 pierce my friend's ear?


Just want to express myself and date top tier alternative celebrities. While u might think Drew Barrymore is a mainstreamer, yall should think again cuz of her alternative dating resume. Or is she just the product of alternative men who 'want to bang a mainstream broad'?

She dated the Mac Guy -- Justin Long

Viral Video director, Spike Jonez

She started the 'dating a Stroke' trend [via Fabrizio Moretti ]

h8 yall Agyness Deyn + Albert Hammond Jr [via Green Aggs and Ham]

She also dated the most innovative comedian of the past 100 years, Tom Green

So will yall get a piercing or what?
Who was the hauttest dude that Drew Barrymore dated?
Will we ever find as many altLovers as she has?


After the success of the HRO Gimmick altbro or altbag, HRO has continued to crossbrand this game/gimmick. In today's edition, we are asked to guess whether the Mexicalts pictured are PUNKS or POKEMONES. For a better definition of the pokemones sensation of tween bisexuality, read this old post.

[Photo via SBATVC]
Please justify ur answer to receive a meaningful email from Carles and a $20 credit to your paypal account.

For example,
"They are punks because they don't care about anything kind of like that NO AGE band."
"They are pokemones because they probably only care about vanity and being tween bisexuals without educations."



If u didn't find this game fun, please visit the previous game BLIPSTAZ or FGGTS? (Kanye West + Black Rat Pack RMX).

Is it ALT 2 watch the Super Bowl?

Yall, today is the Super Bowl. Not sure how I should feel about it. Sports are kinda mainstream, especially the NFL. I don't know if I am supposed to be into sports to 'identify with people' and 'carry on conversations with the mainstreamers in my life', or if I should Rage Against The Society's Norms. Kinda confused--I want 2 fit in, but I don't want to be 'just another brick in the wall.' h8 how there's all these commercials that are trying to 'appeal 2 me' and 'make me laugh' and 'identify with the product/brand.' Kinda prefer to just read blog posts about 'the best Super Bowl commercials' the day after.

(Do people outside of the USA watch the Super Bowl to be 'alt'?)

I think the Super Bowl is kinda tyte because there's 'cultural' stuff that happens which pushes the limits of society's norms and federal standards of decency. I remember that time that Justin "Fuck Society" Timberlake and Janet "Sweet Tittie" Jackson had that lil "wardrobe malfunction." It was like the meme of the year that year because 'every1 saw it.'

I wonder what would be the ultimate 'think piece' during the Super Bowl. Wish there were more performances that 'pushed the limits of our society' instead of bringing out old rocknrollers to have a conservative + inspiring message. Wish there was more nudity at the Super Bowl, yall!

Should I accidentally get too 'beer drunk' with my bros during the Super Bowl and accidentally have my first bromosexual experience with them?


John Alt 45 - Pittsburgh Steelers 0
John Alt: Super Bowl MVP

Previous Sports coverage

(miss yall)

What type of band r these bros in? [NEW HRO GIMMICK]

Whenever I see a group of 2 or more alternative ppl with strong personal brands, I often ask myself, "What type of music would these ppl play if they were in a band 2gthr?" I am never sure if they are actually in a band, or if they even know how to play an instrument/GarageBand on a macbook. In today's world, we all 'want to be rock stars/blog house alt celebs.' It is important 2 ask important questions like, 'Who are these bros trying 2 b?' In the future, I will mimic an pre-existing personal/group brand to take my existence to the next level.

[via Deep City Dive]
These bros are in a band that sounds like
a) The Strokes
b) The Stooges
c) Mexicalts who just learned how 2 play guitar
d) Sonic Youth
e) Health
f) No Age
g) Enrique Iglesias
h) The Smiths
i) Brokencyde
j) At the Drive In
k) The Albert Hammond Jrs.
l) Fleetwood Macs
m) Cut Copies
n) a local altbag band who values their songs more than they should
o) Baggy and the AltBaguettes
p) Choose.Your.Own.Response

When u go out with ur closest network of friends, what band/posse do yall try 2 look like?

Just a question, yall. This is not a blog post/hi-level commentary.

[Photo by thecobrasnake]
Yall. sorry. This is just a question that I have if n e 1 can help it would be super appreciated. I just wanted 2 know what the term is for 1 white bro who chills with a group of AZNs. Does n e 1 know?

I know there's already oreos & tuggles of AZNs. Just wondering if there is a term that utilizes 'yellow' + 'white' kinda like how oreo uses 'black'+'white'+'dessert treat.'

Not much left 2 blog about in 2k8. Kinda glad 2k9 is coming up. Hope we have more answers in 2k9?

Hope I can be a lil bit more tolerant and racially aware in 2k9.
Kinda scared of the 'blipster backlash' resurfacing.
Are yall good at making up racial terms based on generalizations + stereotypes that are 'a healthy mix of offensive yet funnie'?


PS: This is for my marketing thesis.

I will miss u, 2k8

2k8: you were an extension of 2k7.
While u were not 2k7, u perpetuated what 2k7 brought us
and for that
we thank u/resent u/find u 2 b an inauthentic transition period
where what was once alternative


It's kinda weird how there's nothing to blog about between Xmas and the New Year. It's like you really 'start to reflect' on the year behind u & the people in ur life. It makes memes seem cheap and meaningless. Can't wait til my 'daily routine' goes back 2 normal bc I value my sense of alternative normalcy. Kinda weird being at home, feeling a little bit vulnerable.

I've been thinking about a lot of important stuff.
Should I retire from blogging?
Should I make my blog less/more authentic?
Should I ever post an electro mp3 again?
Is my life different now that the new Animal Collective leaked?
What's next for HRO?
Is there n e thing left 2 blog about?
Should I be nervous about Barry Obama taking office?
What about the electro wars?
Are AZNs gonna survive 2k9?
Will n e 1 ever authentically 'get' me?
Will I ever find what I am 'looking for'?
Can I start a Fight Club and blow up credit card buildings?
Will I get drafted after Iran drops a nuclear bomb on Israel?
Will I ever 'recover' from my parents' divorce?
Will I ever become1 with humanity?
Will 2k9 be about anything else other than searching 4 an authentic way of life?
Will an increasing population of inauthentic alternative mainstreamers make my quest more difficult than ever?
If I had 2 go 2 war, would I rather have a set of flaming skulls or pistols?

[Photo by I Can Teach U How 2 Do It]

2k8: u did ur best.
2k8: full of regrets?
2k8: no regrets?
2k8: the year I 'lost my virginity'?
2k8: the year HRO became the only friend who 'gets' me
2k9: a branding experiment
2k9: will I 'fall in love'?
2k9: I will become more/less dependent on the internet
2k9: the year I got 'a smart phone with a touch screen.'

This blog is me.

Memes that went viral b4 the internet: 'Do the coloureds and poors know it's Christmas? [via the Third World]'


I can't imagine how memes 'went viral' b4 the internet created an incubator in which 2 spread. How was the whole world able to rally behind an Xmas wish 4 ppl who aren't educated enough to 'get' the concept of Christmas? Weird 2 see old memes/people like Bono, Sting, Boy George, Steve Aoki, Ronald Reagan, and other vintage musical celebs who turned into vh1 legends. Even if their lives' have fallen apart since then, it's refreshing 2 know that celebrity pseudo-humanitarianism existed b4 the Barrack Obama Incident. Kinda a bummer that I have 2 see this video every winter--it reminds me that there are less fortunate ppl in the world on one of the most fortunate days of the year 4 me.

Like the authentic disco bassline in the s0ng, tho. It's a shame that such a beautiful song was ruined by content that wasn't about partying/relationships. I just hope that all of the bloghouse producers create some sort of super-group-for-a-cause, collaborating [via] the internet ( a modern version of the Postal Services).

I also wonder how long this xmas meme will be around. I think it will probably die about 30 years after Bono/Sting/Boy George dies. HOPE memorable Obama supergroup collab videos stick around to remember 4ever.


h8 being home. Started off alright. had 2 go 2 the mall 2 do some last minute shopping. s00 many entry levelers & mexicalts everywhere. It's like they don't have a home and live at the mall. Wish they'd get jobs at the food court instead of stealing from mall kiosk entrepreneurs. Kinda ruined my day. Had a soft pretzel and an Icee. My tongue turned red and I started crying. Reminded me of Sparks.

Homelessness: Big in 2k9?

[Photo by YapSnaps]
2k9 is all about taking commonly accepted societal norms and throwing them out the window in pursuit of an authentic alternative life. For example, the concept of 'having a home' and 'a roof over your head' and generating a nuclear family from your own seed/egg. I've never wanted a 'real job.' I don't need to buy stuff to 'be happy' or 'express myself.' Take this homelessBro. His personal brand remains strong by utilizing an AltBro Concrete Bed Blanket. The primary & secondary colours represent moving beyond neon. He also implements a zany-core, yet functional shoe-tying method.

Homeless people are kind of like 'as close 2 nature as it gets', and they 'get' architecture because they are actually LIVING in the city. There's more 2 living in a major metropolitan area than 'walking 2 coffee shops/vegan eateries.' U don't KNOW ur city until u have 2 find a way to hunt, shit, and sleep in it. That's why I <3 NYC. I was homeless there for the first 8 months that I started my blog (blggd from the public library). There's more 2 life than 'a roof over ur head and 4 walls around ur face.' As long as u have a MacBook, u can do anything u put ur mind 2.

Important Questions about Homelessness & How Society Perceives Homelessness

Do yall give money to homeless people?
Whenever u walk by a homeless man, do u walk faster and grip ur purse tighter?
Do u consider homeless people 'sub-human' or 'post-human' or just 'human after yall'?
Is homelessness really a problem, or should we just let homeless bros chill?
Do homeless people only buy drugs when u give them money?
Why do s000 many zany homeless men pretend 2 'be veterans'?
R homeless people 'just lazy' and 'wouldn't work if u offered them a job'?
Is a 'drifter' a more authentic homeless man?
If a homeless man attacked u, would u kill him since laws don't protect people who don't own property?
Whenever u see a sleeping homeless man, do u 'get kinda scared that they are dead'?
Can we 'solve' homelessness by sending homeless people 2 prison?
Will Barry Obama do anything 4 the homeless, or just focus on 'the unemployed'?

But srsly yall... Ever since my parents got divorced I have h8ed what 'home' represents. It's like something that is meant 2 fail, but ur whole life ur taught that the world is perfect. Think we need 2 get rid of traditional suburban structures, especially since hurricanes are getting stronger and tear through most homes built after 1940.

"Home is just a bull shit concept. I am depressed."
-Zach Braff, Garden State (Homeless Guy Remix)

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