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BREAKING NEWS: Former Buzz DJ Girl Talk spotted playing at some music festival in Utah


Girl Talks
are u okay bro?
U kinda 'fell off hard'
kinda mad worried about you

You used to be all about 'bringing the party'
but college bros and mainstreamers wanna party too
So u sorta went mainstream
and I guess now u make tons of money playing colleges
and also Middle American music festivals

But this week’s free concert, featuring Memory Tapes and Pittsburgh artist Gregg Gillis, aka Girl Talk, wasn’t nearly as packed.

Twilight officials estimated the crowd at 20,000 people, half of the number from the first week’s concert, which featured Modest Mouse.

Guess that's chill bro
Sweet gig in Utah, bringing the party to Mormon bros
Once saw a movie called "SLC Punk" and they seemed kinda alt/meaningful
Just want u 2 be happy
as long as u tell me ur happy, that's chill with me

Maybe u need a new gimmick
a new PR agent
maybe ur fine
i don't know these things

just wish u'd drop a meme for us to <3/h8 sometime
Until then we'll just miss u
we'll miss the past when we would get on stage and grind on entry level pussie
until the stage collapsed

Have yall been worried about Girl Talk?
Will Girl Talk ever 'make a comeback'?
Can Girl Talk stay relevant 4evr?
Does Girl Talk make more money than the majority of indie artists by touring?
Which former alt star / blog famous artist do u want to know "WHERE ARE THEY NOW?"
What happens to buzzbands after they die? Do they get 'real jobs' or are they unskilled and forced to work at a coffee shop where people will recognize them daily?

Girl Talk

Alternative Celebrity, DJ

Girl Talk is a laptop DJ who got big in the bloghouse era but really just produces generic, well-branded mix tapes.

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Best Coast and the Vampy Weekend bro star in some Converse commercial/music vid

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Best Coast and Rostam Batmanglij (the Panda Bear of Vampire Weekend) and some ethnic rapper named Kid Cudi 'collabed' on some song for the Converse shoe line. Basically, 'free advertising' everytime a blog embeds that shit and buzzes about the viral mp3. Anyways, they 'released a music video', but seems like it is just an excuse to show off tons of shots of Converse shoes.

Also they kinda dance around with big heads. I think they are supposed to represent 'blog fame' and how it has gone 2 their heads. Feel like maybe they will develop a spinoff tv sitcom where a black guy, a white girl, and a 'lovable gay bro' learn how to co-exist as buzzbands, sort of like Will & Grace meets Friends meets The Fresh Prince.

Do yall want to buy Converse shoes?
Are yall still disappointed by the mp3?
Which artist's brand suffered the most via this collab?
How much bank do yall think they were paid?
Are yall still 'pissed' at Best Coast?
Are Vampire Weekend and Best Coast having a 'tough time rite now' [via blog beef + law suits]?
Is this meme a 'success' or a failure?
Are u pissed when buzzworthy mp3s are created just 2 sell u shit?
Do u miss the glory days when buzzbands were just 'buzzy' and hadn't signed lucrative buzz deals with major soda/shoe/jean brands?
Will the new era of brand-sponsored buzz MP3s soon implode if a band doesn't create a 'great' mp3 soon? [via halfhearted b-sides]

Best Coast

Buzzband

Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

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Diplo goes “on record”, calls M.I.A. a lazy, rich, careless human being


It seems like Diplo is 'mad pissed' at M.I.A. Not sure if they had a bad breakup, or if he is trying to get her to divorce her husband, get a 'mad billionaire dollar settlement', then maybe he can get back with her. It seems like he is on an 'all-out mission' to distance himself from the /\/\/\Y/\ brand, since it has a chance to be one of the worst albums of 2k10, surpassing even MGMT's Congratulations.

In an interview with Blackbook Blogazine Newspaper, Diplo kept up the 'sweet ass smear campaign'.

He makes it clear that she is 'lazy', 'careless' and didn't write anything:

And I think that the record was like—she didn’t care about it. I was in the studio with her, she didn’t write anything.

He also says that after she got mad rich [via marriage], she didn't have to care about anything, but then since "Paper Planes" went mainstream, she wanted to be mainstreamier:

She like, retired because she married a dude and she didn’t care about music. She only did it again because “Paper Planes” did blow up in the end. It gave her a second wind, but she didn’t have any hunger anymore. She already got a full table.

Wish I had a metaphorical 'full table.'

He also says that she is advised by an innercircle of 'spineless ass pussies':

Me and Switch tried our best to be quality control of the record and she didn’t want that. She kind of went on her own way. I was like, Look, nobody in your crew—we were the only people she could trust, and our asses were on the line too. We got here because of working with people like her. We care about the way things sound, and when the people that she works with don’t, then it’s fucked up. She’s got a talent in every aspect. She’s got ideas bigger than any artist I’ve ever met and she’s someone to fuckin’ make that happen. All she has is a bunch of yes men around her and they kinda suck.

Sorta seems chill for Diplo to 'bash hard' on M.I.A. Wish more artists would do the same, even if they weren't affiliated with M.I.A. / had never been in a serious relationship. Wonder how their personal/sexual relationship ended. Wonder who broke whose heart.

Does money change people?
Is M.I.A. a 'disgrace' of an artist/human being?
Is Diplo a 'chill bro' or a 'backstabber'?
Are yall on #TeamDipbro or #TeamMaya?
Is Diplo 'speaking the truth' or is he trying to ride the 'anti-MIA meme wave'?

BUZZBAND VS BLOG: Best Coast tells HIPSTER RUNOFF to “EAT A DICK”


Best Coast is a popular buzzband getting 'tons of buzz' from some of the biggest indie mp3 blogs on the internet. HIPSTER RUNOFF is an in-depth music blog, meme aggregator, and a buzzband news source + analysis mecca.

It seems like Best Coast 'hates' HIPSTER RUNOFF, tweeting that the popular blog can 'go eat a dick.' She had the option to say HRO could 'suck a dick', or even 'take a cock up its ass', but 'eating a dick' was a passionate hate message that she wanted the entire blogosphere and twittersphere to hear.

WAVVES could not be reached for comment.

This is not the first time HIPSTER RUNOFF has been 'hated on' by a buzzband. Recently Neon Indian got 'mad pissed' at HIPSTER RUNOFF for post-erroneous reporting [link].

Does Best Coast h8 being blogged about on HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Has HIPSTER RUNOFF been 'harsh' on Best Coast?
Are buzzbands angry when HIPSTER RUNOFF blogs about them?
Does Best Coast h8 all blogs, or just HIPSTER RUNOFF?
Is Best Coast pissed at HIPSTER RUNOFF for blogging about her everytime she twitpics bags of dank?

Do u think WAVVES and BEST COAST get blazed and talk about how unchill HIPSTER RUNOFF is?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF 'a fucking sleazy ass shitty blog site'?
Is HIPSTER RUNOFF bad 4 the blogosphere?
Why do u think Best Coast h8s HIPSTER RUNOFF?

No official response has been made from the @HIPSTERRUNOFF twitter [link]

Should Carles and Best Coast 'chill' and smoke some fat blunts, riding chillwaves to fuzzbuzz heaven 2gether?
Are yall on #TEAMCARLES or #TEAM_BEST.WAVV?

Best Coast

Buzzband

Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

Read more>>>>

M.I.A clones herself, constructs choir, conceptually performs on Letterman

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M.I.A. seems to have used her billionaire boyfriend's money to invest in 'high priced cloning technology.' It seems like she created multiple versions of herself in order to form a 'choir' to make her show more interesting. Typically, rappers are 'hella boring', both live and televised. This gimmick is probably a good way to create a bloggable meme, and confuse people in Middle America who actually watch late night television.

Do u think Letterman is trying to brand himself as 'the new Fallon', letting alt performers 'get their alt on' on his stage?
Will Jimmy Fallon retaliate by inviting MIA on and letting her murder some1 on stage?

Was this performance of "Born Free" terrible, or were u waiting for some gingers to run on stage and get genocided?

Do yall like the MIA choir? Do u think they are all just as loud and obnoxious as her? Or do they have their own unique personalities, possibly paving the way for a sitcom about a loving family who tends to butt heads sometimes.

Wonder where they found all of these girls? Craigslist post? Talent agency? Side of the road? They were kidnapped and forced to perform with her? Struggling performance artists who will do anything for $20-$50/ 'experience'?
Is this some sort of metaphor about individuality, and females in music?
Is M.I.A. just 'one of many' dopey looking girls in sunglasses who can yell into a mic?
Do u feel bad for 'the hefty clone'?
Are all of the clones 'ethnic' or are they white girls with brown paint on their faces?
Is this this 'greatest indie late night talk show performance' in the history of indie bands on late night talk shows?

Wonder if Letterman thinks she is just another weirdo on her show or if he knows he has to respect her because she is basically a billionaire.

Was this performance a 'perfect' conceptual performance?
Did she 'beat' Lady Gaga to the 'cloning gimmick'?
Did she beat Katy Perry to the 'genocide' gimmick?
Do u hope M.I.A. kills more gingers asap?
Have any other females in music utilized the cloning gimmick? Seems like an MTV Awards level gimmick.
Is cloning unethical [via Dolly the Sheep]?
Which buzzband do yall wish would clone themselves?

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

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ABC News does segment on kewl new buzzband called WAVVES

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ABC has some hilarious segment called 'AMPLIFIED' where some old cool dad bro who loves indie rock (Dan Harris) goes out and interviews buzzbands. It seems like he bro-ed down with WAVVES. Not sure if Dan Harris smoked a blunt, but the other bros probably did.

Might throw down a chill with Dan Harris.

N e ways, super cheesy video done in the style of MTV News from 1992, but always 'hilarious' to see ABC NEWS AMPLIFIED segments. They really try to make it seem like WAVVES overcame a rough career or something.

Not sure why Pitchfork founder and CEO Ryan Schreiber shows up in this video. More important question is: why he is floating in front of the old Pitchfork site design?

Worried that the ABC Video editing interns didn't really do their homework, and pooped this segment together. Feel like buzzbands should probably only do a few interviews per year instead of leaving their brand to be manipulated/butchered by these people who 'clearly don't know what they are doing.'

Feel like this screen shot is 'hilarious' [via 'actual studio' humor]. Wonder if people who aren't familiar with chillwave lofi bedroom producers could even comprehend this slide.

Here is a video of Dan Harris 'trying 2 flirt with' Best Coast/ interviewing her. That bro is seriously 'one bro of a bro.'

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Feel like this Dan Harris bro is one of the greatest indie journalists of our generation. Wonder if he would rather be covering 'real news' or if he prefers 'connecting with the kids' and interviewing buzzbands that he reads about on wikipedia the night before the interview.

Do u think Dan Harris genuinely likes buzzbands?
Does he seem like a chill bro who would share a joint with u?
Do u think Dan Harris is the Anderson Cooper of buzzbands?
Did Dan Harris ask 'hard hitting questions' or did he mail it in?
Do u think there is a secret love triangle between Best Coast, WAVVES and Dan Harris?

Wavves

Buzzband

WAVVES is a fuzzy buzzy buzzband that sings about aliens, marijuana and being a failure in life but laughing abt it because u r high.

Read more>>>>

Panda Bear’s PR Team gets ‘mad pissed’ at blogs + Pitchfork for posting ‘the leak’


Panda Bear's upcoming album TOMBOY is one of the most 'in demand' leaks in the history of the blogosphere. The PR team responsible for dispersing memes and guiding their album cycle to achieve mad sales, mad buzz, and critical acclaim is Forcefield PR. (The company manages memes for other buzzbands such as WAVVES, Ariel Pink, and Neon Injuns.)

Daniel Gill, the head of Forcefield PR 'went on a massive/moderate twitter tirade', utilizing the Retweet function to share the previous ALT REPORT story about how Pitchfork 'broke blog ethics' to post the new Panda Bear unauthorized MP3s [link]. It seems like this 'retweet' solidifies the Alt Report's 'MUST READ' status for true indiesphere insider 'scoop', 'daily dish', 'gossip', and 'analysis.'

The tweet seems a mix of 'bummed' and 'pissed' at the state of the blogosphere.

Later, the PR Company twitter account 'cooled off', making it clear that Pitchfork was not the only blog who was unchill, but basically just about every alt blog on the internet.

Seems like he put "legit" in quotes to let all music websites know that they are 'fucking bush league' and should be mad ashamed of themselves.

The buzz behind this album is 'getting out of hand', bloggers 'breaking laws', PR companies 'pissed at blogs', Pitchforks acting like blogs. The circle of buzz seems to be under siege.

Do blogs 'have the right' to post unauthorized material by buzz artists?
Is Panda Bear 'too blazed'/'too busy being a father' to handle
Should the PR company 'be pissed' at blogs, or should they 'forgive blogs' since 'blogs and Pitchforks are the best way to reach tons of consumers?
If blogs truly love Panda Bear, should they 'wait' until he gives them 'the green light' 2 blog him, or due to SEO, should we 'scoop' him like Lindsay Lohan going back 2 the slammer?

Feel like this album is changing everything. Everything so crazy. Mother Indie 'has been disturbed' and everything is turning into a shit storm. Thought this album cycle was gonna be chill, but it already seems 'frenetic', like a group of sharks feasting on a human that is trying to clean up the oil spill.

When will Panda Bear sound off on all of this commotion? We could really use a soundbit from him or something, letting us know what to do. Feel like if he 'called off the dogs', we would all chill out, and chill until his albums come out. Noah Lennox can help us to 'give peace a chance.'

Are yall on #TeamBlog, #TeamPitchfork, #TeamPRteam, or #Team Panda?
R u worried about the blogosphere?
Will Panda Bear leak?
R u worried about the next AnCo album?
Is life all about firsties?

Panda Bear

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

Panda Bear is a member of Animal Collective. He wrote the hit album "Person Pitch" but failed to deliver in 2k10 with TOMBOY.

Read more>>>>

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Read more>>>>

Best Coast lets fans ‘stream’ new album at Urby Outfitties, looks to appeal to alt demographics


Since every relevant album is going to 'leak', most indie bands are forced to stream their entire albums for free at various sites. The goal is selecting a site that has a built in fan base that might inspire a few thousand more album purchases. Some artists choose NPRs to appeal to cool dads with money, while other artists select Myspace to appeal to minorities and laggard tweens. Chosing Urban Outfitters for Best Coast's stream seems like a 'bold business decision', meant to integrate her product into their sales / lifestyle brand. Urban Outfitters probably has a huge database filled with 'ditzy alt girls' who don't really know how to find their own music on the internet, instead trusting brands to create compilations for them.

Not sure if Urby Outty sells CDs, or maybe there is some sort of 'merch' deal in place. Maybe every1 who shops there will get a Best Coast sampler pack that involves a CD, a kitten, and a kilo of weed (only if they purchase something for more than.
Do yall know what type of people shop at Urban Outfitters? What kind of music do they play in there?

Have yall heard the album/downloaded the leak?
Is it 'good'?
Is it 'album of the year material'?

N e ways, seems like this album has 'the chance to displace Beach House' from the top of the female indie charts in 2k10. It just depends on if u want to honor the 'buzzband that has paid their dues' (Beach House) or if u wanna brand yourself with the fuzzy buzzy trend (Best Coast). Even if the Best Coast album is more enjoyable on a regular basis, feel like most critics will probably slot Beach House at #1 female singer of 2k10 (with a shot at best album of 2k10 if Panda Bear flops), but also rank Best Coast top 5 to make sure that she represents 'promise' and 'the future' of fuzzy buzzy indie rock.

How do u feel now that Best Coast's album is finally out, and she is no longer just one of those fuzzy blog bands with 1 decent mp3?
Will she have staying power?
Will she have a 'sophomore slump'
Will she play Fallon?
Does she need to break up with WAVVES? Is holding her career back?
Is WAVVES pissed that her album is 'way better' than his own album?
Will WAVVES be pissed
Will the album score an 8.7 on Pitchfork, or is every song the same, singing about beach, cats, weed, and boys?
Is Best Coast the #1 female in the indie buzzosphere?
If u were in a buzzband, what website would u let stream ur album debut? NPR? Myspace? Twitter?

Best Coast

Buzzband

Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

Read more>>>>

Pie Chart Meme Graphic: How artists, record labels, & retailers split album sales


Have always wanted to start a buzzband, but didn't really know if it was 'worth it' cuz of the state of the modern music industry. Feel like there is some sort of 'effed up' system where bands don't even get paid, and even if u go mainstream, tons of entities are 'stealing ur money' cuz they market + distribute ur music. Mad bummed. Thought being a rock star would get u mad rich, but feel like this chart illustrates that bands 'don't make that much money.'

Feel like if I had a band, I wouldn't have a manager, bass player, or lead guitarist. I would avoid signing to a record label, and would try really hard not to use a distributor. Might outsource an 'album sales website' to a web design firm in India. Just gotta maintain all my profits, avoiding 'legal counsel' and even a 'producer.' So weird that bands have to spend money on all of this stuff.

'Solo project' without any sort of band / marketing infrastructure seems ideal. Wonder if chillwave/lofi/being Radiohead is the best possible band business model, since you can minimize 'bullshit costs' and really focus on exploiting your tribe.

Really just want to keep all of the profits, knowing that my art belongs to me, and no1 can use it without my consent.
H8 how the music industry is so effed up, and it doesn't even allow us to make art any more. Even Larry Gaga is a 'slave' to the horizontally integrated corporate structure.

Do artist 'make money' from album sales?
What type of band would yall be in?
What staff would u have if you had a band?
What are some good ways to 'cut corners' and save ur band budget?
Will I make more money in my life if I have a mediocre 9-5 job for 35 yea, or if I have a buzzband that has 2 albums that sell moderately well?
Does this mean I'm never going to be a rock star / blog star?
Is the music industry 'swirling down the shitter'?
Do musicians deserve Health Insurance?
Do record labels 'steal' tons of money from artists, or are bands 'worthless' without relevant record labels?
Do musicians/bands waste tons of money on goods and services that they don't need?

Pitchfork violates blog ethics, posts Panda Bear unauthorized tracks


MP3 blogs are hotbeds for illegal, leaked MP3s fueled by the hypemachine/googleSEO era. Basically, music blogs are kinda like 'barely legal' porn, trying 2 appeal to people who are eager to 'be some of the first' 2 feast their eyes on young pussy/twinks/new buzzbands mp3s. Blogger psychology states "If I post barely legal MP3s, I will get mad hits, and people will like my blog because I have great taste and represent a great source of popular buzzbands."

Panda Bear's TOMBOY is the most anticipated album of 2k10, in what has been a year known as a 'shitfest of shitty, irrelevant mp3s.' It seems like the 'drive to expose the leak' has creted one of the most in-demand leaks since Animal Collective's MerripostweatherPevilleons.

Many blogs and eMusicZines have been 'forced' to cover the new Panda Bear, as if it is a celeb gossip 'scoop', racing to 'break' news about the new album. It truly may be the first time that the MP3 blogosphere has broken away from 'stroking the cocks' of artists to secure exclusive debuts, and instead 'post content as if it is BREAKING NEWS.' The blogosphere is in a 'questionable position' where they must operate in some sort of 'ethical relationship' with artists to secure 'debuts' and 'exclusive content', but this Panda Bear coverage is sure to usher in a new era in coverage of high level artists.

Pitchfork was 'backed into' posting the streams after tons of low level, barely legal mp3 blogs 'got the scoop' and posted 'streams' to limit their liability of posting the actual MP3 for download. They made it clear that the streams were 'barely legal':

NOTE: These are low-quality vinyl rips, not authorized by the artist.

I would expect this type of coverage from a 'crappy MP3 blog' on the hypemachine, or even popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF, or even lofi legend blog Guerillas Vs. Bear, but Pitchfork's decision to 'post unauthorized tracks' might put Panda Bear's live set at the Pitchfork Music Festival in jeopardy. It seems like music blogosphere is turning into 'The Wild, Wild West' as the end of 2k10 nears, and we are in search of a true album of the year 2 save the annual brand of 2k10.

Is Panda Bear's leak the most in-demand leak in the history of the blogosphere?
Should music blogs 'get more illegal'?
Should all music be free?
Have yall found the new Panda Bear on mediafire / rapidshare ?
Will TOMBOY 'live up 2 the hype'?
Is there such thing as 'blogger ethics'?
Are blogs supposed to maintain positive relationships with bands/artists/label representatives?
Should we wait til Panda Bear formally releases his album 4 purchase, or is it chill to listen 2 some sweet unauthorized vinyl rips?

Panda Bear

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

Panda Bear is a member of Animal Collective. He wrote the hit album "Person Pitch" but failed to deliver in 2k10 with TOMBOY.

Read more>>>>

Pitchfork Media

Company, Blog

Pitchfork is a popular indie blogzine that does reviews and gets mad hits.

Read more>>>>

BREAKING: PANDA BEAR SINGLE ‘LEAKS’, BLOGIASPHERE REACTS


BREAKING NEWS

THE TOMBOY SINGLE HAS 'LEAKED' IN ADVANCE OF ANY FORMAL PRESS FOR THE ALBUM. THE PANDA BEAR CAMP MUST BE 'IN SHAMBLES' / DEVASTATED ABOUT THIS 'LEAK' BY THE POPULAR MP3 BLOG STEREOGUM [LINK].

THE BLOGOSPHERE IS 'SCRAMBLING' TO PUT TOGETHER THE FACTS.
THE BLOGOSPHERE IS 'EAGER TO EVALUATE THIS ALBUM', TRYING TO DETERMINE WHETHER OR NOT IT WILL BE 'ALBUM OF THE YEAR.'
AS WE SPEAK, HUNDREDS OF HYPE MACHINE BLOGGERS ARE POSTING THESE MP3S, EAGER TO GO TO 'NUMBER ONE' ON THE CHARTERS.
PANDA BEAR IS PROBABLY BLAZED SOMEWHERE, CHILLING WITH HIS FAM, NOT REALLY CARING, HAVING NO COMMENT.

Panda Bear - TOMBOY

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DRONEWAVE
TRIBAL
_________ VIBES
POST CHILLWAVE?
BETTER THAN 'PERSON PITCH'?
ALBUM OF THE YEAR?

Panda Bear - Slow Motion

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ACS by a2592825

Is Tomboy the early frontrunner for 'album of the year'?
Can TOMBOY take down LCD Soundy / Arcades on Fire / MIA?
Were these the MP3s u've been waiting for, or is the album gonna 'flop'?
Is the MP3 blogosphere about to 'implode' or is this the future of music?
Is Avey Tare 'better than' Panda Bear?

Panda Bear

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

Panda Bear is a member of Animal Collective. He wrote the hit album "Person Pitch" but failed to deliver in 2k10 with TOMBOY.

Read more>>>>

Zooey Deschanel makes new music video using crappy ‘black and white’ effects on her MacBook

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Zooey Deschanel is in the band She & Him. They are trying to market themselves as an indie band to 'super, super boring people' who still want to feel like they are 'trendy.' They made some new video, and I am not sure who directed it, but if I had to guess, they filmed it with an HD flipcam, then edited it on a Macbook, using the effects 'black and white' and or 'sepia.' Maybe even a cutom setting called 'Old Times' or 'Vintage Video' that makes a video look super retro.

Maybe I am wrong and they used a 'vintage camera' that isn't even digital, just to try to get mad authentic. Story line is creepy. Seems like some sort of time machine vibe or something. Little kid with goatee is creepy and mini Zooey seems 'illegal' in terms of her sexy indie brand.

Honestly only vibe out to this style of video if it is a 'snuff film', or maybe some 'hardcore indie pornography', like security cam style of voyeur stuff. But I think in our modern world, the 'night vision' setting of cameras has sort of been the sex tape standard.

Still think Zooey Deschanel needs to kick the goatee bro out of the band, cuz he can really be creepy. Feel like she would look 10 years younger if she was 'solo.' Maybe she could go blonde again, and get 'tit implants' 2 be more like Katy Perry. Also would be sweet to see some Ben Gibbard cum pix or something.

Is this song 'awesome'?
Is this video 'mad boring'?
Do yall h8 Zooey Deschanel more than u h8 M.I.A.?
Do u have any good tips for editing videos on ur home computer, and making them look 'vintage'?
Does She & Him need to break up/quit this whole 'act' of pretending they are a vintage authentic indie band?

BREAKING NEWS: LeBron James joins indie supergroup Animal Collective

ALT REPORT EXCLUSIVE


LeBron James is an NBA basketball super star African American athlete who wants to have 'the greatest personal brand in the history of personal brands.' This brand will allow him to make tons of money, and be so famous that he basically gets everything for free. This summer, the American media has been dominated by talks of 'where' LeBron James will go, since he will bring tons of buzz + dollars to a local economy.

Many expected him to join NBA teams like the Miami Heat and the Chicago Bulls, looking to win NBA Championships. It seems like he 'threw the entire sports world' a massive curveball, deciding instead to retire from the game of basketball, and instead pursue a more organic form of buzz, fame, and social acceptance. Giving up the NBA and millions of dollars and mainstream fame for the difficult, sometimes 'insane' world of blog indie rock. Many mainstreamers and ESPN sports bros don't really understand 'why' he turned his back on them.

Said James, "I just really vibed mad hard to the chillwave movement, and realized there was something out there more important than the NBA. I want to be relevant in the buzz bloggiasphere. Tons of cool shit goin on there, even my main man Jay-Z is into all that white shit."

Joining Animal Collective might be one of the most important decisions in the history of the indiesphere. Animal Collective already has a 'championship team', usually scoring 9.0s and above from Pitchfork. The addition of LeBron James aids their cause, hoping to reach the illustrious 10.0, which is usually reserved for re-issues of classic albums by the Beatles and Pavement.

There was a wave of speculation as to which buzzband LeBron James would join. He was about to join Vampire Weekend, but since he didn't go to college, he didn't really fit in with their brand. Other reports claim that LeBron James was about to join the Kings of Leon, and they would have changed their name 2 'The Kings of LeBron.' Many record executives claimed that LeBron would replace Andrew VanWyngarden as the lead singer of management. Rumors out of left field had LeBron starting a chillwave supergroup with Toro Y Moi and Washed Out.

Here is a video of LeBron James 'stuffing' Kobe Bryant, which many analysts expect him to do to rival buzzbands.

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LeBron James has a unique skillset, size, and youth which will be needed to reinvigorate Animal Collective as they climb into their upper 30s. Many blog insiders claim that AnCo's personal brands are getting too old, and adding a younger, African American member will help them appeal to a wider base of fans (the tweens and the blacks). It is AnCo's goal to become a weekly trending topic on twitter.

Many say that LeBron James 'cant even play an instrument', but sources close to Panda Bear say that they have a great plan for building the band's future around LeBron James. They will utilize his 'dunking ability' to replace video visualizations that usually appear behind the band on stage. Instead, LeBron will shoot hoops, and do sick dunks to keep the crowd on their feet.

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AnCo's record label Domino is reported to have ordered 10 basketball hoops to place around the crowd during the live show, encouraging fans to 'get active', shoot some baskets, and possibly even see the band/LeBron interact with the crowd. In order to build the brand, Animal Collective will look to sponsor 3-on-3 tournaments before their shows to make more money off Gatorade/Vitamin Water/5-hour-energy concessions.

While there are many losers in the LeBron James signing (such as Cleveland, other buzzbands, the NBA, the sport of basketball), it is an undeniable win for the entire indiesphere. LeBron James + AnCo teaming up is estimated to add at least 1 billion pageviews per year for the indiesphere, enabling blogs to make more advertising revenue and expand into larger media conglomerates.

What do u think of the LeBron James signing?
Which buzzband did u think LeBron was going 2 join?
Was LeBron better suited to join another buzzband?
Will Animal Collective be a better band with LeBron?
Will LeBron and Panda Bear have solid chemistry?
Will a member of AnCo request to be traded to another band?
Is this a 'huge win' for the indiesphere or a a huge loss for the mainstream sportosphere?
R u expecting to see LeBron James doing 'sweet dunks' next time u see Animal Collective play?

Diplo calls M.I.A.’s album a ‘piece of shit’ / ‘turd’


Diplo is a popular DJ who used to 'bang' M.I.A. before she 'went gold digga' and married some billionaire's son. Diplo apparently produced one of two tracks on M.I.A.'s new album "/\/\/\\|/\|/\Y/\/\/\\/\", but he went on twitter and was talking with random bros, then went ahead and said that her album was basically a 'huge piece of shit.'

He seems chill to be 'honest' in a world where all indie artists and DJs are 'just trying to be butt buddies.'

Honestly haven't listened to the new album, but feel like it is more than likely 'a huge piece of shit.'

I wonder what kind of turd Diplo thinks the album really is
a) a drop of turd, like a pellet
b) a long log of turd
c) a small nub of turd
d) a pile of turd(s)
e) a little soft serve swirl of turd
f) runny diarrhea turds sitting in liquid shit
g) Choose ur own turd style

Most importantly, the popular reviews site Pitchfork 'ran this as a story', making it clear that they have no interest in pretending that this is a good album. This has to be 'paving the way' for an underwhelming review. Many hoped that Pitchfork would 'pan' MGMT's Congratulations, but some have hope that they will turn MIA's album in2 the scapegoat of 2k10, giving it a sub-5.0 score. Some claim that Pitchfork 'must' pan MIA's album in order to distance themselves from her brand after they let her use their twitter account [link].

(Note: It is in every website's best interest to 'pan' the album, since negative M.I.A. press can account for massive traffic boosts.)

Is M.I.A.'s album 'a piece of shit'?
Is M.I.A. a human turd?
When M.I.A. talks, do turds fall out of her mouth?
Is Diplo a 'chill ass bro' or a 'bitter Ex BF'?
Did Diplo 'hit it and quit it' when M.I.A.'s stock was high?
Will Diplo write a 'tell all' book about M.I.A.?
Are yall on #TeamDiplo or #Team_M_I_A_?
Is Diplo part of a 'marketing plan' for M.I.A., or does he genuinely think that the album 'mad sux'?
What will Pitchfork give M.I.A.'s album?
Can M.I.A. have an 'awesome public meltdown' as her album is crucified/lynched?

Diplo

DJ, Alternative Celebrity

Diplo is a relevant alt DJ and producer.

Read more>>>>

Zooey Deschanel keeps jimmy jangling a tambourine on stage


Jimmy Jangly
goes the tambourine
la la la
We're the Shims
and we're comin 4 ya

She & Him
And Benjamin Gibbard
La La La
Shake Shake
Jimmy Jimmy
Jangle Jangle

goes the tambourine.

Does n e 1 wanna shake some stuff with me?

Photo by Andrew St Clair


We are females in music
We want 2 be taken seriously
as artists
we will join the cause
we will Jimmy Jangle


I will allow u to Jimmy Jangle with me
but u must accept me as the queen of the Jimmy Jangles
In addition, 1 of u has to use an egg
which is an inferior instrument to shakey wakey
shimmy wimmy
shake shake shake
oingly boingly


I will shake the egg
filled with sand
and u will be the queen of the jimmy jangles

I will forfeit my tambourine
perhaps construct a maraca
or pretend to press some keys on the keyboard
We are females in music
We want to prove our musicianship
with progressive percussive instruments


We will have a girls only band meeting
and we shall
determine which songs sound the best with which instruments
Tambourines, eggs, maracas
We will write them down 2 remember them
in a Microsoft Word document called "Tambourine Set List.doc"
and each of us will get a copy upon the day of the show


This document will help us
2 become authentic singer song writers
'indie songstresses'
crafting our own songs
with this type of organization, we will soon play the harp like Joanna Newsom
or write a hit song, kinda like "Stay" by Lisa Loeb
or even "1-2-3-4" by the Feist

In addition
we will schedule 'thrift store shopping' days
to find cutesy retro vintage sunglasses, dresses, and miscellaneous accessories
to elevate our female brands

la la la
so free
jimmy jangling
tambourines
maracas
and eggs
2gether

I am Zooey Deschanel
I am the Queen of the Jimmy Jangle

M.I.A. wants tweens to stream her album on myspace, doesn’t care about NPR cool dads


Lately, NPR has been 'hyped up' as the best place for artists to release their albums to be streamed 4 free, since it has an older audience who is trying to be 'cool', and are willing to actually 'purchase albums.' M.I.A. 'doesn't give a shit' about this demographic, and instead chose to stream her album on the social networking graveyard known as 'Myspace.' Not sure if people even use that thing any more. Feel like even the slowest laggards chill hard on facebook/twitter now.

Tried to listen to the album, but just skimmed it. Only ever really liked that song "Paper Planes" for a few days, but even that gimmick kinda wore off. Just wondering how she has a career.

Wonder if her album sales are gonna 'tank' or if she will have a radio hit + some1 will
Wonder if M.I.A. will 'chart' in the top 10, or if her mainstream label is gonna 'lose tons of money.'
Wonder if Pitchfork is going to 'turn' on M.I.A. since they regret letting her use their twitter account for marketing purposes. [link]

Should M.I.A. have given exclusive streaming rights to NPR?

Do yall think M.I.A.'s album sucks?
Should M.I.A. retire/be fired?
R u glad that M.I.A.'s album is out so now we don't have to hear about her n e more?
Do white cool dads who listen to NPR have any interest in ethnic female artists, or do they prefer 'the white pussie' like Feist, Joanna Newsom, and Zooey Deschanel?
What kind of people still use Myspace?

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

Alt parents try to play Ariel Pink for their son, son falls asleep

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I have always wondered what it would be like to have a child. How would I 'educate' him/her on how to be a more authentic human being? How could I keep them away from mainstream children's educational programming? How could I get them in touch with authentic buzzbands at a young age?

Feel like this parent is running a 'Buzzband Boot Camp' or something. The kid is clearly 'trying to be all lazy', but the parents are like 'wake ur ass up, get on the internet, and find me a new buzzband.' The child is forced to listen to Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti's latest album. I hope I can run a tight ship like this family. Really scared of my kids not being 'in touch' with the buzzosphere.

I really want to be a good parent. I want to show a mix of 'love' and 'demand' the most out of them. Not really with mainstream subjects in school, but just with the internet, twitter, blogging, buzzbands, and other sweet viral trends.

Will honestly be disappointed in my son/daughter if they don't go viral at least twice by the age of 10. Might film them doing drugs, then record the dumb stuff they say [via David After Dentist].

Just wanna be a good parent
Want my kids to turn out 2 be authentic
Want them to listen to the best music possible and not go thru a weird Disney tween phase.
Want my kids to ride chillwaves and vibe to lifi pop hits

Do u think Ariel Pink is children's music?
Should all parents make their kids listen 2 indie buzzbands?
Do yall have any ideas for making sure ur kids evolve into authentic alts?

Ariel Pink

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Ariel Pink is a 'lofi genius/wizard/mastermind' who has transitioned his brand to 'relevant indie buzzband status' in 2k10.

Read more>>>>

Bjork and the Dirty Projectors lose their minds, write concept album from the voice of a whale pod


[MP3]

</embed>

Dirty Projectors + Björk- All We Are by DominoRecordCo

Worried abt the Dirty Projectors. I think the buzzosphere was 'all about them' in 2k9, since they added like 5 cute indie girls to sing 'oohs' and 'aaaaahs'. They had 1 song that Jay-Z, Beyonce and her sister vibed out to called 'Stillness is the Move.' N e ways, they seem to be 'collab-ing' with Bjork to write some crazy person album about a family of whales:

....Amber from Dirty Projectors was walking along a ridge on Mount Wittenberg, north of San Francisco. She was looking out at the ocean and saw a little family of whales, as you sometimes do in April on the Northern California coast. I wrote some songs about it and sent them to Björk, who agreed to sing the part of the mom whale. The songs became Mount Wittenberg Orca. Amber and Angel and Haley sang the part of the kid whales, and I sang the part of Amber. We sang all week long and learned the music just in time to perform it at the bookstore on May 8th.

Have yall ever seen a collective of animals and decided 2 write a hit album about the experience?
Is Bjork a chill person to collab with, or is she 'too out there'?
Is Bjork still a relevant meme in 2k10?

Apparently they aren't doing this concept album '4 profits', they are just trying to help the environment/whales or something.

I feel like Dirty Projectors should 'man up' like Kevin Costner, and invest all of their buzzband profits in creating a technology that cleans up the oil spills. Feel like orcas are doing fine, because if they get hungry, they can just go to a 'Killer Whale Homeless Shelter' at a local Sea World Theme Park:

We’ve decided to give away all the money that Wittenberg generates to the project of creating international marine protected areas. Only 1% of the oceans are protected in any way and this is a huge problem. We’re working with the National Geographic Society to create areas of sustainability, so the oceans don’t end up like a giant poisonous corpse hugging the continents.

Wonder if Bjork and the DPs (Doub Penetrations) are musical soulmates. Wonder if they will 'save the environment.'

In addition, they think their music is 'too good' for Macbook speakers:

We’re so psyched about how this recording came out and hope you are too. Don’t listen on those tinny computer speakers — put in on the stereo and blast dat shiiiiiiiiii!!

Should they team up with Sarah McLachlan to save domestic animals from cruelty

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Do these commercials ruin ur vibe? Did Sarah McLachlan ruin her brand?

</embed>

Do the dirty projectors not care about domesticated animals & think we should focus on saving animals in their natural environment?

Do yall think this collab is 'sweet' and 'unique'?
Do yall wanna ride chillwaves or whale waves?
Should the Dirty Projectors 'find a new gimmick' and move beyond the orca thing?
Do yall like music that is written to save animals/the environment?

Might just vibe out to Savage Garden's hit song "The Animal Song"

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'I want to live like animals...
Careless and free...
like animals
I want to run thru the jungle
with the wind in my hair
and the sun at my feet...'
-AnCo

NPR releases ‘top 50 albums of 2010′ according 2 their listeners, seem in2 old, stale indie rock


NPR (National Public Radio) is in the middle of overhauling their brand since smart people don't listen to the radio any more. They basically have to focus on podcasting/trying to be a music referral service for uncultured suburbanites who haven't found their fave music blog yet.

It seems like they had a poll on their website, asking listeners 'what is yalls fave albums of 2k10 so far". Feel like their results yielded an in-depth look into the state of cool dad indie rock. Feel like if you are in this list, either you 'sell a shit load of albums 2 mainstreamers', or ur brand has a tone that is approachable 4 older people:

1. Gorillaz: Plastic Beach
2. The National: High Violet
3. The Black Keys: Brothers
4. Broken Bells: Broken Bells
5. LCD Soundsystem: This Is Happening
6. Vampire Weekend: Contra
7. Beach House: Teen Dream
8. Mumford and Sons: Sigh No More
9. Spoon: Transference
10. Sleigh Bells: Treats
11. Local Natives: Gorilla Manor
12. Yeasayer: Odd Blood
13. The New Pornographers: Together
14. Flying Lotus: Cosmogramma
15. She & Him: Volume Two
16. Band of Horses: Infinite Arms
17. Jonsi: Go
18. The Knife: Tomorrow, In A Year
19. Broken Social Scene: Forgiveness Rock Record
20. Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings: I Learned The Hard Way
21. MGMT: Congratulations
22. Joanna Newsom: Have One On Me
23. Josh Ritter: So Runs The World Away
24. Janelle Monae: The ArchAndroid
25. Frightened Rabbit: The Winter Of Mixed Drinks
26. Surfer Blood: Astro Coast
27. Dr. Dog: Shame, Shame
28. Caribou: Swim
29. Dead Weather: Sea Of Cowards
30. Crystal Castles: Crystal Castles (II)
31. Gaslight Anthem: American Slang
32. Hold Steady: Heaven Is Whenever
33. Massive Attack: Heligoland
34. Freelance Whales: Weathervanes
35. Charlotte Gainsbourg: IRM
36. Jakob Dylan: Women And Country
37. Laura Veirs: July Flame
38. Four Tet: There Is Love In You
39. Blitzen Trapper: Destroyer Of The Void
40. The Flaming Lips: Dark Side Of The Moon
41. Ratatat: LP4
42. Erykah Badu: New Amerykah Pt. 2, Return Of The Ankh
43. Owen Pallett: Heartland
44. Quasi: American Gong
45. Kings Go Forth: Outsiders Are Back
46. Corinne Bailey Rae: The Sea
47. Sade: Soldier Of Love
48. Laura Marling: I Speak Because I Can
49. Bettye LaVette: Interpretations: The British Songbook
50. David Byrne: Here Lies Love

Feel like the 'boringness' of that list made this post super boring. Really possibly 'regret' this post and how it isn't really a 'buzzy' enough list of artists 4 my progressive tastes, but at the same time, just wanted yall to know what older indie fans are listening to, and what 2 try 2 avoid when u make ur 'Best Albums of the Year' lists. Sorta like a 'public service' warning for ur personal brand/iPod

Who are yall surprised to see on this list?
Are these bands all 'for cool dads'?
Is Vampire Weekend the perfect band because they appeal 2 cool dads AND wannabe alt tweens?
Who will be the #1 album/band of 2k10?
Will NPR listeners just 'shit their pants' when the new Arcade Fire is released?
Is Gorillaz/LCD Soundsystem for cool dads?
Will NPR listeners 'get' the new Panda Bear?
Should NPR dads ride chillwaves?
Will NPR listeners 'start to read HRO' after it was named 'Time Magazine's #1 blog of 2k10'?

NPR

Blog, Company

NPR is some dying radio station that is trying to brand itself as an 'indie tastemaker' because of their cool dad audience.

Read more>>>>

Teen dies after drug overdose at Los Angeles Rave, Local News ‘all over that shit’ with coverage

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The Electric Daisy Carnival was a Los Angeles based rave that took place in an empty football stadium. It was rumored to have attracted 185K alternative raver tweens who just wanted to party hard 2 electro music. After seeing so many weirdos attend [link] and seeing riots + stampedes break out [link], it seems like some 15 year old girl overdosed at the event. Seems like a bad thing to have a teen OD at your music festival. Can't believe her family 'pulled the plug' on her. Wonder if they were disappointed in her, or thought she was making bad life decisions.

A 15-year-old girl who attended last weekend's Electric Daisy Carnival at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum died on Tuesday from a suspected drug overdose, authorities said.

The girl, whose name was not released, was in respiratory arrest when she arrived at California Hospital Medical Center and never recovered, a hospital official told the Los Angeles Times.

What drug do yall think she was on?

Do people die at raves all the time [via OD]? Is it a bad idea to try to monetize a 'rave' as a music festival?
Is the Electric Daisy Festival 'gonna get its ass shut down'?

Feel like the local news is 'having a field day' with this story since it is probably relevant to Los Angeles families, since their kids are in the middle of an electro rebellious era:

</embed>

Seems like the girl shouldn't even have been allowed in the doors. I guess when u throw a festival, u just want to make as much money as possible:

The website for the electronic music festival said the guests had to be at least 16, raising the question of how the girl got into the event.

Feel bad for the people who run LA Coliseum. It once hosted the Olympics, but isn't really a modern facility, so they have to find excuses to use it to try to make some money. Since it is a second class facility that holds over 100,000 people, they usually use it for Mexican soccer games or Cali-tween raves.

"On behalf of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum Commission, I express our dismay and deep sadness on the death of the young woman who attended the Electric Daisy Carnival," Barry A. Sanders, president of the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum Commission said. "We send our sincere condolences to her family."

Sanders said he called a special meeting of the commission "to review all the circumstances and the criteria for insuring that event promoters in our facilities have proper procedures in place to protect the health and safety of all attendees."

"We will always be committed to the well-being of everyone who visits the Coliseum and Sports Arena."

Seems like they are just happy to make 'mad bank' even if it means some1 dying

"This is basically a government-encouraged drug fest. That's the wrong message," Dr. Brian Johnston, director of the emergency room at White Memorial Medical Center told the Times. "It's putting people at risk unnecessarily. It's putting people's health at risk."

Jon Lee, director of marketing for the Coliseum and Los Angeles Sports Arena, called the event "a success" and said a very small percentage of the attendees misbehaved.

"We don't like to see problems, but the vast majority had a good time without incident," Lee said.

The Coliseum, built on state land, is run by a joint city, county and state commission. The Coliseum does not receive any taxpayer subsidies and is financially independent. It is expected to earn well over six figures from the weekend rave, or as much profit as a couple of USC games, Pat Lynch, its general manager, told the Times.

Is Electric Daisy Carnival 'going down the shitter'?
Will it be back next year?
Will some local city council person build their re-election platform against 'shutting down rave death traps'?
Are ravers 'the new punks'/anarchists/etc?
Should raves be monetized / earn millions of dollars?
Is Los Angeles the rave capital of the world, and should they look to 'rebrand'?
Has electro spiraled out of control?
Do all teens who use drugs deserve 2 die?
Can we call any of the artists/DJs who performed at EDC 'murderers'? (Steve Aoki, Rivers Cuomo, Lil Jon, tons of other DJs)
Is the local news just produced to 'scare old people' and fuel their disdain of young people?

Is the 'party promoter' fucked, or is he just rolling around in money, rolling on ecstasy?

BEST COAST releases new mp3 lovefest about her boyfriend WAVVES


[MP3]
Best Coast Boyfriend

Most of Best Coast (aka Bethany Cosentino)'s songs are about the beach, weed, waves, or Wavves, her boyfriend. This new song is called "Boyfriend", and we can only assume that it was written about her boyfriend and how much she depends upon her 'man.'

After WAVVES's song "Post-Acid" [link], we have to start to wonder about how limited their song writing abilities are. We understand they are in love, and have a perfect buzzband life together, but at some point they gotta 'branch out' and write songs about other stuff, sorta like how AnCo can write about weirdo stuff, then they can write about taking care of their families. Bruce Springsteen can write anthems of the common man. The Arcade Fire write suburban anthems about childhood. Other buzzbands can write songs about "Deadbeat Summers" and "Feeling it All around", with various bleepy bloop musical stylings.

Wish I coulda chilled with them before they were alt stars.

Feel like the song "Boyfriend" really puts me into the mindset of an insecure girl who just wants a boyfriend. Glad Best Coast found her dream man. However, I feel like Best Coast and WAVVES should probably break up just to get more press for their next album cycle.

Do yall like this song?
Is "Boyfriend" too literal?
Do u think she played this song for WAVVES the first time, and he kinda cried, then they went out 4 burritos?
Do yall respect Best Coast for accepting the fact that she is 'nothing' without a boyfriend to enable her 2 have a bloggable identity?
Will Best Coast's album be more well-liked than WAVVES's album? Is it because she is a woman, and the blogosphere is made up of jealous bros who would love to date a hot buzzband girl?
Do u wish Wavves was her boyfriend?
Do yall wish they would sing about more different-er stuff, or do u like the simplicity of their California style lives'?
If I move to California, will my life be perfect?
If I learn to California, will my fuzzy buzzy sound project 'take off'?
Are yall jealous of their relationship?

Best Coast

Buzzband

Best Coast is a fuzzy buzzy band that sings abt dank, California, boys, and kitty cats

Read more>>>>

M.I.A. tries to be an ethnic Lady Gaga, wears zany wig & zany weed goggles


I think one of M.I.A.'s latest gimmicks is 'talking about how unoriginal' Lady Gaga is [link]. It seems like M.I.A. is trying to 'pull off her own zany gimmicks' to create bloggable photo memes. Maybe all females in music are the same / have the same goal.

I am not sure if what she is doing 'works for me.' Feel like women in music are supposed to 'dress like sluts' and 'act sexual.' M.I.A. dresses like an electro urban homeless woman, and acts violent. Really not a good combo for me, in terms of 'getting turned on', which is Lady Gaga's model.

Also feel confused by her 'weed goggles.' Would rather just get stoned and have crazy red eyes 2 let people know how danked I am. Worried that she bought that camo hoodie from the 'hunting section' of Wal Mart. (Actually a kinda good idea, might start buying camo hoodies

Are yall more into Lady Gaga or M.I.A.?
Does MIA 'wish' she could have as many twitter followers/fans as Lady Gaga?
Should I buy WEED GOGGLES?
Should I buy more clothes from the Walmart hunting section in order 2 look like I am a Sri Lankan terrorist / freedom fighter?
Is that wig, or is that her real hair?
Can M.I.A. go mainstream, or has she already maxed out her market potential?
Should all artists just dress in 'all black' like the XX?

M.I.A.

Buzzband, Alternative Celebrity

M.I.A. is known for thinking that the American government is out 2 get her.

Read more>>>>

VIDEO: Washed Out takes us on a chillwave tour of his chill lake house/studio

Video might not be viewable in ur RSS Reader
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Washed Out bro (aka Ernest Greene) is a chill bro from South Carolina who is one of the pioneers of 'the chillwave movement', one of the most important genres of music of the modern world. He made an MP3 for Adult Swim's record label / marketing project [link], then they made this additional video interview to create more branded web content that would get more 'blog buzz.'

He takes us on a chill tour of some lake in Georgia, where he is living and 'recording a new album.' We get to go on a motorboat, a rope swing, to some authentic hot dog joint, and even . He seems like a chill Southern bro, just lounging at the lake, jumping off stuff and splish splashing, riding waves. Wonder if he will get a jet ski with his next round of indie $$$$$.

He talks about important themes like 'isolation', giving us hope that we don't have to be a 'Brooklyn-based' buzzband in order to break thru and become a relevant indie artist. Always thought that 'the indie press' only took u seriously if you listed 'Brooklyn' as ur home in ur myspace profile.

Do u wish u could chill with Ernest Greene at his lake house?
Did he make enough indie $$$ to buy a 'beach house' [via lake house]?
Will chillwave 'last forever' or will the chillwave artists 'break away' from the genre?
Is Washed Out the most talented chillwaver, or will Toro Y Moi 'break out'?
Whose chillwave stock is the highest/lowest? Who would yall invest in?
Should I move 2 Georgia/South Carolina 2 'get in touch with Mother Indie'?
If I live on a lake instead of in Brooklyn, will I become a better artist?
Is 'driving a boat' more authentic than 'relying on public transportation'?

Shakira calls the XX her favourite band, butchers one of their songs live @ music festival

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Shakira is a mainstream ethnic artist who sings like a froggy then shakes her ass on stage, then every1 is like 'wow. lookadat ass' as if they are in a strip club. N e ways, she was singing at Glastonbury Music Festival, and she decided to 'cover' the song "Islands" by the XX. She went ahead and told the crowd that the XX was one of her favourite buzzbands, even though they are super old [via 2k9]. Feel like maybe the XX has mad credibility in the UK, or she just wants to make more 'white fans.'

The XX had a critically acclaimed album in 2k9 which they are still milking, but they really need to 'respond' with some new mp3s in order to stay fresh now that Shakira has tainted their brand. Worried about hearing this on the mainstream radio with Shakira's froggy voice. Not sure if Shakira genuinely appreciates the XX, or if she is just doing the thing where a 'mainstream artist steals from indie culture.'

Is this cover 'terrible'?
Does she make it 'better'?
Are the XX talented musicians, or do these professional musicians make their song sound better?
Should more female artists steal songs from indie artists?
Will the XX and Shakira 'collab'?
Is the XX gonna 'chart' at #1 with their next album?
Will the XX have a 'sophomore slump' type album?
Is the XX going to be one of the biggest UK bands of the decade?
Should Shakira 'shut her pie hole' when it comes to indie songs, and just keep 'shaking that ass 4 mainstreamers/ethnic global markets'?

SWEET COLLAB?: Steve Aoki invites Rivers Cuomo to sing “Hash Pipe” while he DJs

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For some reason, Steve Aoki and Rivers Cuomo threw down some 'collab.' Not sure if they have an mp3 coming out together soon, or if they are just on the same mainstream record label or something. N e ways, Rivers Cuomo came out to sing a song while Steve Aoki DJed. It seems like the electro teens filming this vid 'lost their shit' when this modern karaoke sesh started.

They seem like chill bros, just chilling, throwing down a collab that shows they are 'dynamic performers' and ultimately open to 'new markets.' Aoki wants to open for Weezer, and Rivers Cuomo wants to 'feel cool' by reaching out to electro California teens.

Photo by the cobrasnake

Here is another crappy 'fan vid', but then the song "Hash Pipe" starts playing, and Riversbro sings over it.

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Do yall feel like u missed 'history' by not being there?

Is Rivers Cuomo 'leaving Weezer'?
Is having a DJ more cost effective than touring with a band?
Will Steve Aoki collab with more indie giants?
Is Steve Aoki 'the most successful DJ of our generation'?
Is Weezer 'indie', 'old skewl indie', or 'mainstream as eff'?
Do u wish u got to witness a once in a lifetime collab?
Are they authentic bros or was this just 'a business decision'?

Should Steve Aoki invite the guy from MGMT to karaoke with him in 2k16?

That girl from Harry Potter goes to Glastonbury Music Festival with some ultra alt dude


Emma Watson is female actress who plays 'the girl' in that Harry Potter movie. I think her name is "Hermione", and she is supposed to 'turn on' young bros by offering a natural, yet sexie 'barely legal' type of look. Haven't read Harry Potter, but I think they go to some school where they are trying to become Witch Doctors, and they all try to have a gang bang with this girl or something. Sorta a mix between X-men and Lord of the Rings.

Guess the real story is that Emma Watson is one of those celebs who 'goes to music festivals' to seem alt. Most importantly, she went to Glastonbury Music festival with this mega alt dude. From what I understand, Glastonbury is 'the Coachella of the UK.' Not sure if this mega alt dude is 'authentic' or if he just 'dressed like an alt' to impress her/fit in at the festival. Sorta jeal of him for hanging out with some1 famous. Maybe he is 'just some rich bro', and went to the festival to see MUSE or other crappy UK bands like that.

Seems like she chilled hard in some really functional festival gear. Wearing some sort of corset to 'push up her lil boobs' and get some more blog hits. Really vibing to this festival attire. Wonder if she got some solid 'band photograph shots' with her DSLR.

Do yall like Harry Potter?
Is Hermoine 'mad hot'? Is she hotter than that Twilight girl?
Do u think she is gonna go to Coachella with Whitney Port next year?
Are music festivals a great place to show off ur alt brand?
Do u think celebs really 'get' music, or is music mainly for middle class people?
Is Harry Potter the Goosebumps of our generation?

DAFT PUNK launches a children’s variety show 2 educate alt kids

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Daft Punk is a popular electro house band from France who has successfully built a 'one of a kind brand', basically becoming the most authentic robots on the planet.

It seems like they are expanding their market in order to 'compete' with alt children's shows like Yo Gabba Gabba, Sesame Bro Street, The Tellytubbles, and Barney. The project seems fresh and exciting. I can see them making 'tons of money' on products + merchandising. Ya gotta hand it to the robots--they just know what they are doing...

Seems like their new video has the vibe of their hit song "Around the World".

</embed>

Do yall think u will make ur kids watch this?
Can Daft Punk 'make tons of money' off alt kids?
Do yall wanna robot rock 4 the rest of yalls lives?
Does Daft Punk even make 'good music' n e more, or are they just 'coasting' off Discovery?

Daft Punk

DJ, Buzzband

Daft Punk is a French House band that 'peaked' with discovery.

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BREAKING NEWS: Grizzly Bear attacks AnCo’s Geologist, puts Geo in hospital


From what I understand, Geologist is the legal name of the guy who plays weird noises in the popular indie band Animal Collective. The band AnCo had a 'huge war' in 2k9 for the 'album of the year' against the popular buzzband Grizzly Bear. It seems like this 'bad blood' spilled over into a vicious attack in a remote area of Alaska. Feel like both bands were probably there for a music festival or something.

The bearded, sandy-haired geologist was on a job in the remote Alaska wilderness when a grizzly bear suddenly emerged from the brush just yards away.

So Robert Miller did what he was trained to do — he fell to the ground, clasped his hands around his neck to protect it and played dead.

The bear wandered away and Miller thought he was in the clear. Pulling himself to his knees, he found out how wrong he was.

The bear charged again and "this time he didn't want me to move. He was really thrashing me around," the 54-year-old said Wednesday from his hospital bed, his right arm and leg swathed in bandages, his left ear criss-crossed by stitches.

Not sure who the eff 'robert miller' is. Thought this was about buzzbands. It seems like Grizzly Bear is a mad crazy band. They really went after Geo, wanting to make sure his ass was dead. We can only assume that Grizzly Bear knew that if they killed Geologist, AnCo would not be able to deliver a solid album in 2k11, which is shaping up to be 'the most anticipated year of music in the history of the world.'

Sorta scared of Grizzly Bear. Also scared of Geologist. Seems like he 'packs heat':

Miller managed to pull out his .357 Magnum revolver and squeeze off a single shot, possibly grazing the animal. Then his survival training kicked in: He fell onto his stomach, dug his face into the dirt and covered his neck with his hands to protect it from the grizzly's claws and teeth.

The bear went for his exposed right arm, gnawing and clawing it and chipping the bone off the tip of his elbow. The attack lasted 10-15 seconds, then the animal lumbered away.

"I thought it was over, I thought he was gone," Miller said.

He rolled over and was getting to his knees when the bear, which was only about 40 yards away, came at him again.

"As soon as I turned, he was running already. It was shoot, shoot and roll back over," Miller said.

He managed to fire two more shots, but with his right arm badly injured he thinks he missed the bear. Then he lay still as the animal gnawed and clawed at him.

This seems like what the indie blogosphere 'has been waiting for', a war that results in violence in a conflict between two buzzbands.

"It was no problem to lay there with my neck covered and let him chew. It was actually painless at that point," Miller said.

After the second attack, Miller played dead again, lying still for three to five minutes as thoughts raced through his mind. Was the bear still around? How bad was he bleeding? Where was his gun?

He tried to move and realized he couldn't. He was too badly injured.

Feel like we almost lost 1/4 of the most popular indie band on the planet. Relieved.

Can't believe how chill Geologist was about it. I woulda been pissed at Grizzly Bear, but he seemed 'forgiving', understanding how Mother Indie has an ecosystem that functions as a circle of life.

Still, the geologist, who until five years ago worked as a roofer, said he holds no grudge against the bear.

"The bear was just doing what bears do," Miller said.

Did yall know that Grizzly Bear was 'this violent'?
Will Geologist be murdered?
Should Avey Tare, Panda Bear, and Deakin 'be careful' that other buzzbands will try to attack them?
Will a tribe of Neon Indians 'attack' AnCo?
Will waves of chill turn into tsunamis and try to kill the indiesphere?
Will an Arcade Fire spread to the conceptual forest where the Animal Collective lives?
Do the Grizzly Bears look like 'cold blooded killers'

Kinda Worried...

If a buzzband attacks u, is 'playing dead' ur best defense?
Are yall nervous about future acts of violence between buzzbands?

STOP BUZZBAND ON BUZZBAND VIOLENCE.

Some guy in WAVVES’s band goes to WalMart to buy a shitload of Mountain Dew


WAVVES recently 'scammed' Mountain Dew's record label out of a crap load of money by letting them 'release' one of his songs to help Mountain Dew get more buzz for their products [link]. Many have questioned the purity of these brand based record labels and made snark-based tweet blogposts abt how they are ruining the blogosphere + the 'credibility' of artists we are supposed to take seriously. Others are 'just happy that indie bros are getting paid, since no1 is gonna buy their albums n e way.'

It seems like WAVVES and his band drink Mountain Dew on the reg. They went into a Walmart just to find multiple Mountain Dew flavors to drink them in the tour van and turn their pee green / code red. Maybe this was just a sponsored twitpic. So confused. Not sure what's real and what's marketing any more. Just want a 'pure' meme again. Tired of man-made strategic buzz memes. Not sure who 2 trust.

Not sure if WAVVES is one bro, or an entire band. I think this guy is the guitarist/drummer in the band or something. Maybe I had WAVVES all wrong--maybe he is actually a Mountain Dew bro. Saw this vid of them playing live, and sorta wish they'd mix in a synth player, some bleepy bloops [via Passion Pit / Owl City], and maybe a couple of wavves of chill.

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Is WAVVES a 'band' or a '1 man sound project'?
Do yall like Mountain Dew?
Does WAVVES make authentic music?
Who will be the next artist 2 sign 2 Mountain Dew?
Have yall ever gone to a Wal Mart mad high and walked out with a ton of stoner munchie wave grub?
Can Yellow-5 shrink ur balls?

Wavves

Buzzband

WAVVES is a fuzzy buzzy buzzband that sings about aliens, marijuana and being a failure in life but laughing abt it because u r high.

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Green Label Sound

Record Label, Meme

GLS is the record label of Mountain Dew. They pay a buzzband to write an MP3, then release it to blogs in order to get buzz.

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Pharrell produces track for Uffie’s new album, boring, unsexy video 4 song emerges

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Uffie has got to be 'mad pissed' that Ke$ha basically 'stole her gimmick' of autotune rapping with a constipated voice about topics like 'getting drunk', 'getting crunk', and 'pretending to be more than just a slut, even tho u like to have sex with tons of guys.' Feel like they are trying to teach new lessons to an entire new generation of 'future dumb sluts who act a fool' of the entire world.

I think Uffie is 'trying to break out of her bloghouse roots', making a product that can 'chart' in the top 10 if she is 'sexy' enough and the music doesn't drive fans away. Not sure if she has what it takes. Feel like she could maybe get more famous if she talked shit about Lady Gaga + Ke$ha + M.I.A. Maybe she could do well in Europe though, since things are 'mad weird' over there and they listen to weird, crappy 'house music.'

Not sure if this video is even 'any good.' It seems sort of lost trying to chase the mainstream hip hop aesthetic, but then going back to the classic Ed Banger comic art cartoon worlds for no real reason, probably just to say 'look at this cool shit.' Song sounds sorta entry level, like Pharrell trying to write a Will.I.Am-esque uplifting banger.

Do yall like ADD SUV? Does Uffie have 'mad skills' on the mic?
Are yall tired of songs by white girls/Justin Biebers that have a random famous black rapper in them?
Can Uffie 'crossover'?
Will Uffie become more famous than Lady Gaga / Madonna / Ke$ha / Feist / Zooey Deschanel?
Has Pharrell Williams lost his magic, or is he just giving mediocre artists his worst beats?
Should Lady Uffie 'show more of her sweet bod' and say more controversial stuff to 'get more attention'?

Uffie

Alternative Celebrity, Buzzband

Uffie is a French bloghouse rapper who is known for hanging out with her titties out.

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