Photo via lookbook

I have always wanted a normal upbringing, where I would have a healthy mix of ‘earning success’, along with some lil boosts along the way of having ‘nice shit handed to me.’ Unfortunately, as I have grown older, I have had to rely on the connections of my parents along with their financial support more than I would have liked to. It definitely changes the way that authentic people look at me. Most people can’t buy whatever they want and can’t do whatever they want [via financial constraints].

They think that I live in some sort of dream world, and that I’m not appreciative for what has been given to me, but I am actually very appreciative and very humble. I have problems that they can’t even relate to. I am rlly worried that when my parents die, I won’t be able to stay as rich as I am now. I feel like there is something inside of me that wants to make a lot of money so that I can be ‘double rich’ and just live in Manhattan or something. It would also be cool to marry another rich person, then we could pool our incomes and give money to ‘the arts’/'innercity schools.’

It’s hard dealing with social perception and class issues. I wish people could realize that rich ppl are ‘real people’ too, and that we want authentic human connections as much as other ppl. There’s more to people than ‘how much money they make.’ Wish people could see all the colours of the rainbow, instead of just ‘green’ [via metaphor about money].

R u ‘rich’?
do u h8 ‘rich alts’ who buy ‘designer shit’?
Would u trade ur ‘normal childhood’ for a $100K boost in ur parents’ income?
Did ur parents make/lose a lot of money during ur childhood?
R u afraid to fly in a private jet because of the increased risk of crash?

do u think that ‘money’ is ‘bullshit’ or ‘what makes the world go round’?
Is it hard to form authentic connections with alternative ppl who have had ‘everything handed 2 them’?
Is there such thing as an ‘authentic upbringing’?
r u a ‘private jet alt’?

Can some of yall ’single ladies’ help me out? [via that Beyonce song]

trying
2
‘get’
the world
‘around me.’

************************
OH ya I had a radioshow. SHOULD I DO ANOTHER PODCAST?

The HIPSTER RUNOFF radio show airs Mondays at noon and again at midnight EST on Sirius XMU. Iff you’re an XM subscriber, you can listen to Blog Radio on channel 43, and Sirius subscribers can still find us on channel 26. If u really want 2 hear Carles Show, u can get a 3 day trial membership.

PLAYLIST + MP3s AFTER THE JUMP
Chairlift – Bruises
The Stills – Still in Love Song
Broken Social Scene – Stars and Sons
YACHT – Summer Song
Sneaky Sound System – When we were Young (Breakbot Rmx)
Phoenix – Victim of the Crime
Voxtrot – Mothers, Sisters, Daughters, & Wives
Ra Ra Riot – Each Year
Vampire Weekend – A-Punk
Friendly Fires – Skeleton Boy
Hot Chip – Transmission (Joy Division Cover) [MP3]
The Whitest Boy Alive – Island [MP3]
Here We Go Magic – I Just want to see you Underwater
Noise for Pretend – Go Figure, Another Warm Day in Paradise
PBJelly – Let’s Call if Off
The Walkmen – Rue the Day
Air – Playground Love
Thieves Like Us – Drugs in My Body
Frankmusik – 3 Little Words
Friendly Fires – Paris (Aeroplane Remix)
Felix Da House Cat – Ready 2 WEar
Junior Senior – Headphone Song
Annie – Greatest Hit
Cut Copy – Unforgettable SEason
Starfucker – Florida
Spoon – The Way We Get By
M83 – Run into Flowers

Indoor soccer shoes are for bros with a lifestyle that sees them float in between multiple contexts: mainstream and alt. The indoor soccer shoe gives them versatility in function and image.
Never trust a bro over the age of 20 who still wears indoor soccer shoes. He is not sure who he wants to be. Or he has a membership at one of the world’s only remaining indoor soccer facilities.

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Gimmicks that might big in 2k10
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Ying Yang choker necklaces

Necklaces that prove you recently ‘went to the beach’ on a family vacation and ‘got to take a friend’

Old brands before ‘alt’ became ‘a lil more self-aware’ (remember when alternative clothing only came in black, white & red ? ///// this is why mallrat-based alts are usually in only these colours)

Looking like Brandon Boyd

I think we are headed back 2 more simplistic free-spiritedness. Kind of like the zeitgeist of a 12 year old bro who ‘just discovered what marijuana tastez like’ and is about to ’see his GPA slip @ high school’, and will enjoy becoming a justified ‘chilled out bro in the world’ who transcends his parents’ rules.

Still trying 2 find myself in 2k9…. I guess some things never change, yall.

Previous shoe coverage
http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/2008/08/which-shoe-company-represents-u.html

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
Well I don’t know if I’m ready
To be the man I have to be
I’ll take a breath, take her by my side
We stand in awe, we’ve created life
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I’ll show you love
I’ll show you everything
With arms wide open
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he’s not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open

I want 2 be inspired in 2k9, yall. I want 2 ‘grow up.’ I want to break free from my altbro past. I want to find music to be more meaningful than just bloggable electro hits. I want to appreciate entire albums again.

In 2k9, I will not be afraid to let things mean something.
I will be ‘myself’ in 2k9.5, because I will spend the first half of 2k9 re-evaluating my life and ‘becoming comfortable in my own shoes.’ I will grow closer 2 a core group of friends. We’re actually going to talk this year, not just go out every weekend without ever really getting to know the ppl we ‘roll with.’

Will I outgrow AmAppy this year?
Will I be able to afford college next semester?
Will I graduate?
Will my first job interview be an opportunity for me to connect with the interviewee, convincing him that I see the world in a unique way that merits a job within his firm for an above-market salary?
Will I grow closer 2 my parents?
Will I ‘get a girlfriend/boyfriend’ who ‘makes me want 2 b a better person’?
Will I lose weight?
Will I gain back the weight I lost from ‘doing 2 many drugs’?
Will I ‘experiment’ with drugs/sex/’art’?
Will music sound the same now that the new Animal Collective has leaked?
Will I still be a music blog in 2k9?
Will HRO be more than just a meme centre?
Will I have my first heart attack from eating Chili’s every day?
Does ‘time’ even matter 2 me since I exist in blogtime?
Will HRO ‘crash’ this year?
Will Carles run out of things 2 blog about?
Will ‘alt’ be ‘mainstream’ in 2k6?
Will mainstream=alt in 2k8?
Will Kanye West change music by sampling Animal Collective on his next album?
Will I blog about U2 in 2k9?
Will ‘I used 2 rule the world’ in 2k9?
Will I podcast in 2k9?
Will I vlog in 2k9?
Will the HRO EP come out within the next month?
Will I ‘become 1′ with the memesphere in 2k9?

What should my blog year’s resolutions be?
What r ur resolutions 4 2k9?
What do u want from HRO in 2k9?
Do u plan on reading HRO until 2k10, or are these ‘our last days’ 2gthr?
(Please be honest.)

Happy New Year, yall.
Just want these holidays 2 be over with so we can get back to ‘normalcy’ a.k.a. job/school/free internet at the library.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of important stuff.
Should I retire from blogging?
Should I make my blog less/more authentic?
Should I ever post an electro mp3 again?
Is my life different now that the new Animal Collective leaked?
What’s next for HRO?
Is there n e thing left 2 blog about?
Should I be nervous about Barry Obama taking office?
What about the electro wars?
Are AZNs gonna survive 2k9?
Will n e 1 ever authentically ‘get’ me?
Will I ever find what I am ‘looking for’?
Can I start a Fight Club and blow up credit card buildings?
Will I get drafted after Iran drops a nuclear bomb on Israel?
Will I ever ‘recover’ from my parents’ divorce?
Will I ever become1 with humanity?
Will 2k9 be about anything else other than searching 4 an authentic way of life?
Will an increasing population of inauthentic alternative mainstreamers make my quest more difficult than ever?
If I had 2 go 2 war, would I rather have a set of flaming skulls or pistols?

[Photo by I Can Teach U How 2 Do It]

2k8: u did ur best.
2k8: full of regrets?
2k8: no regrets?
2k8: the year I ‘lost my virginity’?
2k8: the year HRO became the only friend who ‘gets’ me
2k9: a branding experiment
2k9: will I ‘fall in love’?
2k9: I will become more/less dependent on the internet
2k9: the year I got ‘a smart phone with a touch screen.’

This blog is me.

Mexicalts are not sure who they are. They are attached to who they were, and very interested in forging their future identity based upon who they were. This often leaves their personal brand with a very weird state. They are a walking pupu platter of what trends have been ‘hot’ in the past 5-10 years.

While this video has already gone viral in a ‘wtfrotflmao’ kind of way, I think it will live on forever as the meme/art that finally expressed who the Mexicalt people finally art. The song is a masterpiece, mixing genres in a way that shits down upon the golden era of rap+rock [Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, etc]. The video features all brands of Mexicalts, searching for an present identity without losing touch with ‘who they were.’ The music and their personal brands are beautiful, but u might only feel that way if are working on a thesis called ‘The State of the Modern Mexican American (Born after 1985 [in the internet era])–MillenialMexis, Myspace, and a Shifting Cultural Zeitgeist | Throwing Away Previous Cultural Standards in an Effort to Fit In + Express Themselves.’

AltinosMexicalts consist of the following:

Is n e thing missing from ‘what makes a Mexicalt?’

Do u know n e Mexicalts will ever reach ‘authentic alt’ status?
Or will they forever be in the late adopter/laggard group, targeted by alternative apparel companies who are looking for a brand loyal group of consumers?

Who do I want 2 b and how does my cultural background influence the person I am capable of being?
Will there ever be a Mexi President? ///////////////

I received an email from a concerned reader:

I kinda have a problem. My sociology class has been assigned a collective project; to assign twenty specific and significant stereotypes to our school. It was a fairly easy assignment until I was confronted with a question that I honest-to-godspeed did not know how to answer. Everyone was just sort of spitting out their favorite social groups to be written on the board. I finally got my word in for Alt, but it raised a bit of a tumult in the classroom.
People demanded to know what Alt was. I was dumbfounded by their idiocy…but then I realized that I really didn’t know what to say.
I described an Alt to them.
I explained what an Altbro looks like, entry-levels too.
I told them about the characteristics of an Authentic Alt.
But I couldn’t even provide a decent definition for any of the three.
S0//DESPAIRED//
////EMBRSSD////
/FRUSTRATED/
I’ve been depressed ever since.
plz help
HOW DO YOU DEFINE “ALT”?

HOW//DO//U//DEFINE//ALT?
AN ESSAY/MEME CONTEST PRESENTED BY THE POPULAR WEBLOG HIPSTER RUNOFF

A lot of people don’t know the difference between “HIPSTER” and “ALT.”
It is ur job as an informed citizen 2 let the ppl know what the difference is. How is ‘alt’ different than anything else that has evr come b4?

“Hipster” is a term for mainstream news publications & startup ‘progressive’ journalistic outlets 2 talk about to cultivate interest in what they are doing with people who use the internet.

Remember that time that Adbusties wrote that article that every1 was s000 ‘up in arms’ abt?
If ur going to write an article/opinion piece about hipsters, u must have phrases like these in ur writing:

• “an army of drones wearing American Apparel”
• “with a can of PBR/sparks in hand”
• “nonchalantly gazing past the DJ”
• [statement about lighting a cigarette]+ [statement about moving hair out of eyes]
• “armed with their parents’ money”
• “after reading the latest blog post”
• “coffee shop glistening with the glow of Macbooks”
• “iPods filled with music from __________”
• “blinded me with the brightness of his tshirt”
• “vapid _______”
• “hoping to end up on a party pictures site the next day”
• “after inconspicuously coming out of the bathroom”
• [Anecdote about how some bro doesn't take life seriously]
• [Anecdote about selfishness]
• [Anecdote about unprotected sex]
• [9th grade English class commentary abt 'consumerism']
• ‘bohemian’
• ‘cannibalize’
• reference to ‘Vice Do’s and Don’ts’

[Please note that from the years 2000-2015, every journalistic entity will be required to have a progressive opinion piece on the 'hipster' and what it means to 'society' which will cause ppl to be s00 mad abt 'hipsters' (& old people will ask u what a hipster is after they see it).]

Should I go 2 journalism skewl s0 that I can write hardhitting opinion pieces on ‘why culture is s000 bad’ and how ‘things r worse than evr’ cuz ‘every1 is s00 full of shit’ & we r just ‘a bunch of consumers’ kinda like ‘another brick in the wall’ but ‘gen y thinx they r s00 special’ but ‘they’re not’ bc ‘they all look the same’ but they ‘don’t even realize it’ cuz they ‘didn’t even g0 2 college’ or ‘they did but they don’t care’ and how in the end, ‘we all eat at Chili’s’?

We/just/want/2/talk/abt/ourselves/&/find/out/who/we/r.

Here is another keut piece about ‘hipsters’ and how it’s ’s000 sillie’ that ‘no1 admits 2 being 1.’

Video may not be viewable in ur RSS reader.
[via SB&TVC]

Remember when the HIPSTER OLYMPICS went viral? (h8 it when memes are no longer viral // miss u)

n e ways…
just trying to say, there is a huuuge difference between “ALT” and “HIPSTER.”
We have a chance to get authenticity back from bull shit mainstream labels that don’t even capture who we are.
Are yall with me? YES WE CAN.
This is the era of alt. I’m excited.

No more Bush. No more ‘hipster.’
More Barry Obammy. More ‘alt.’

h8 labels. Just want to be who I really am and transcend labels.

The winner’s meme/essay/cmmnt/meaningful vimeo video will be published on the popular weblog HIPSTER RUNOFF. You will also receive a meaningful email from Carles.

“I’m not a hipster. I’m alt.”
-Carles, 2k8

do u think some1 will still love me enough to marry me? Do u know if there is a trucking service that specializes in transporting fat people to and from gimmicky chain restaurants?

Just wanna get my grub on.

might bcome a fatBro for xmas. not sure. let me know if I should stay at Chili’s.

Probably gonna order a couple of molten chocolate cakes and pour ranch dressing on them.

remember when s00 random quirky alts used to do Mike Myers/Jim Carey impressions?

‘get in my belly’ – quirkyAlt after seeing the Austin PowerMovie
when u sniff kokaine, does it go into your stomach? is that why it makes u skinny?

Does the election happen every year?
Do the candidates ever release mp3s that get posted on hypemachine?
Is every blog on the internet supposed 2 ‘endorse some1′ kinda like a newspaper?
How does this stuff work, yall?

I’m also kinda worried about what will happen 2 the world after a ‘new bro’ is elected? Do u remember the personality type of your fellow classmates who ‘wanted to be a politician’ when they grew up? Have yall ever chilled with politicians in real life. Are they like a (High School Class President)^10000 ?

Hope the w0rld doesn’t end. :-( Just want 2 beLIEve.

When you are building a personal brand, you want a brand so strong that people want to emulate it. Kinda like Michael Jackson when he was in the process of turning white. You want other people to want your life.

Picking your authentic alt career is difficult. Sometimes it takes a lot of hard work. Sometimes it means ’standing up 2 ur parentz bullshit expectations’ and/or ’societal norms.’ It means taking risks, going to college, not going to college, changing your major, taking a year off, and transferring to a school where u r socially comfortable+’academically stimulated.’ It means being yourself and being some one else. While ‘wanting 2 make ur parents proud’ is an innate within all humans, authentic alts are willing to rage against this desire. Your pride is the most important thing in the world. Your pride, your terms.

This is ur life.
WHO DO U WANT 2 B?

//////
HIPSTER RUNOFF PRESENTS
//////
THE MOST AUTHENTIC ALTERNATIVE CAREERS
/////

The Guy who works the soundboard at concerts. He knows a lot about sound quality, systems, and bands.

DJ at a shitty radio station/college radio station/guy who is affiliated with a university 5+ years after graduating & not getting a real job.

“Door guy” who multitasks as a bouncer/ticket tearer/janitor.

Buffalo Exchange employee

Am Appy employee

postpostironic McDonalds employee

Start an indie band that is better at ‘looking like an indie band’ than it is at making music

Start a web 2.0 company

Start the first myspace profile

Work for a web marketing company who tries to get products/services/memes to go viral for companies who don’t ‘get’ how the internet works. h8 when ‘big businesses’ don’t understand the importance of the meme economy.

Work at Costco

Be a Zany Doctor

Work at a free spirited, local coffee shop

Work at Starbucks (great benefits, yall)

Go 2 beauty school.

Learn photoshop/become a designer. Carles is certified in Photoshop CS1.

Transition your name into a fashion label / be a judge on a Bravo show / make clothes for keut women.

Buy a video camera and make a lil meaningful film.

Start a blog!

Go on a Bravo Show/pretend u r ‘into the design sciences.’

Become an altCEO // start a ‘plain tee shirt company’ that is ‘fueled by legal Mexis’

Spend ur whole life ‘becoming good at the internet’ for no real reason.

[via Designnotes]

Tattoo artist

Apple Store Employee

Blipster Apple Store Employee

Make a viral vid


Note: Working in a record store is no longer an authentic alternative career in the postMP3 blog era.

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Yall have a lot of options to express your personal brands. I’m sure I left out tons of options. Feel free to add some more to the comments.

In conclusion, it is just important to always remember the power of your alternative self, and the power of alternative free will. You are not functioning within the implied expectations of society. You will justify your life at any cost. You want people to understand that you are at your job for a reason. Even if you are just ‘working at a coffee shop before you move to NYC to get a job at a design firm after you get your portfolio of doodles+MSPaint files together.’

Never give up on you. You are special. Eventually, you will find a way to get paid for just being yourself. You have a unique perspective on the world, and eventually, you will find a way to let people know ‘who u really are’, establishing a platform where people will listen 2 u, and most importantly, want 2 b u. (kinda like God/Michael Jordan/theGirlTalk/Macauly Culkin circa Home Alone).